Spoiler There Were Times When I Wished You Were Dead

Seafane · Mar 9, 2021

Victo.gg said: ↑

17. Lilian and Karloy (1)

Carloy passed out on Lyrian's shoulder, coughing and nausea severely. Instead of Lirian, who couldn't do anything with shock, Asher came with medicine from somewhere, fed him, and made him vomit, and took him to Deluiser.

Lirian could breathe only when Asher said that he hadn't drunk very much and that he would not die. After confirming Lyrian, Asher went to pick up the therapist again. Although he looked the most fine of the three, Asher was also a stupid expression.

Lyrian stared for a very long time at the face of Carloi lying on Denise's bed. He who was saved one day became a man who grew up like this.

In this room, Lirian struggled with Denise. It was time to send Karloy. While the new wall was brightening, Lirian thought of Karloy.

After a while, Lilian stroked the face very carefully. Why did this have to be so difficult? When I reach out, I can reach you.

The transparent light of the sun rising at dawn shone on a shaggy face. I look down on that face for a while. Lilian muttered more.

"knife."

There was no answer. Lirian whispered without hesitation.

“You probably don't know. If a person eats and sleeps, if it is too hard to eat and live... the thoughts disappear. But I don't know if I don't have any thoughts."

A calm voice spread throughout the room.

“This is different from unfortunate….. Because I don't have time to do what I mean. That's why it must have been. It was so strange that you told me to run away.”

Li Lian thought long after she broke up with Carl on a young day. Maybe he wasn't in love with Roy at first sight at that time, and he was so pretty, so different.

“I knew this when I was saving you. I can think about it. Helping bad things, stealing, getting something to eat and living with my mom..... I had no idea. There is no need to think about it, and there is no time.”

Carloy's eyes seemed to tremble slightly.

“But when I saved you and saved you, when I came to you, I knew then. There are ideas about people's lives, and there are things that are worthwhile..... Mom meant to me, but you were... rewarding.”

I remembered what Carl said when I was younger. He went back alive and said he said he was hell. Now I understood the words, so Lirian felt heartbroken.

It would have been nice if he didn't know himself, or Carloy, or anything like that, but maybe he had obtained a knife at random.

"So even though it was hard... I didn't regret meeting you or saving you. It's stupid, and I'm so proud of it... Because it's the brightest and best thing I've ever done."

And because you were alive.

I felt like I was going to tears, but I was patient. Now it was time to stop crying.

“When my day feels like nothing, when I think of it, it's really funny... it makes me feel better. You'll be alive somewhere. But the knife... now..."

Lyrian touched the cheek of the sword with his trembling hand.

“I regret it now. Everything that met you, saved you, everything. That's why you're so... poor. really sorry. So it hurts when I see you. Now... it's so hard."

“..... I don’t have to.”

The answer came for the first time. Still with closed eyes, with a voice all cracked, Karloy replied.

“I'm not sorry, and you don't have to be sorry.”

"It's weird. You should have had more than me. But I hate and resent that you are the only one left in your life, and that you give me all that you have so easily. But Delua made you that way." Crab...... My heart hurts.”

I saw Carloy biting her lips. Lyrian slowly put his finger on the lips and gently swept it. It was rough.

"Kal, don't die."

There was no answer.

“Do not die, live. Now it's useless to regret saving you. If you die, then what remains in my life? What made me save you. For what reason... I lost my mom.”

Carlos still didn't open his eyes. As if you couldn't see Lilian.

“Even if it's regrettable or difficult, so you have to keep living. Don't make my life meaningless. I... so I won't regret it anymore."

Maybe it was because I was so nervous, the words trembled.

Tears flowed from Carloy's eyes. Lyrian carefully covered Karloy's eyes with one hand. A sore bite soaked her hand.

Lirian whispered quietly.

“Cry. But you know. Cry a little. Just enough to not hurt too much....... Just a little. Because many of you have been sick too much. So just a little”

Carloy clenched her teeth, but seemed to hear a faint groan-like cry.

"You haven't kept my promises so far. You can keep all of this."

His hands were wet. There was no answer.

"knife."

“… .Huh."

“I will live.”

“.....I will.”

“I can’t live roughly. You have to live hard."

There was no answer for a while. After a while, the answer came out slowly, as if squeezed. I'll do that. Only two words came out so hard. With a sore throat.

"I'll cry a little bit. I'll get sick a little bit."

".......Huh."

“... then that’s it.”

Carloy's body seemed to be trembling. Lirian grabbed his hesitant hand and put it on my hand. His hand covering the sword's eyes. Even the touch it touched was cautious.

“If you continue to live like that, I will have meaning too. Someday you will find a reason. There may be times when you don't regret it. Maybe... I'm not confident either.”

Carloy couldn't even hold Lilian's hand hard.

"......Sorry."

That one word came out in a locked voice, as if bursting out of Carloy's impatience.

Karloy had told Lyrian not to say he was sorry. Lyrian thought that now Kahe should stop Roy. I hoped that I would stop saying that in such a painful and difficult voice. Carloy's hand continued to shake, so Lirian buried his face on it. I felt Carloy's whole body stiffened.

"Sorry......."

“Yes, I know. Know......."

Lyrian buried his face in Karloi's hand and whispered constantly. I know everything. Carl didn't say anymore if he understood that it was saying stop sorry. However, Karloi's tears were still on Lyrian's hand.

"......Cry a little. I haven't been watching it already."

"Lian."

"Lian......."

"Huh."

Karloi kept calling only Lyrian's name. He tried not to cry, but a very little tear came from his voice.

Just as Carlos couldn't ask if he could meet again, Lyrian couldn't even say to see him again. Too many pills already made them sick.

"Hi, Carl."

Lyrian greeted her with what she had until the end, the only thing that remained with her until the end. In order not to break it. To make sure it doesn't break Lilian.

Lyrian asked Karloi to promise one more last time. He asked him not to open his eyes until he left, and he said that he would be so sad if he thought that Carl was looking behind him, and he still hated Carloy, but he was sad that he was having a hard time even though he did not like it, so he told him not to open his eyes.

If he keeps his promises like this one by one, Lirian said, he may be able to stop hating even if he can't get better.

Carloy didn't even want anything like that. He doesn't like him or likes him ....... Such things ....... But Carloi didn't want to make Lyrian sad anymore. He didn't want him to be sad because of it. I didn't want any emotions to be wasted on him. So he nodded his head.

Carloi kept his eyes closed with his arm on his forehead until the warmth that had reached his hand disappeared, the sound of Lyrian moving, and the sound of the door closing could be heard. Finally, when Lilian was completely gone, he opened his eyes only after he disappeared, as if he had never been with him.

There was no trace. He was bright in the dawn, and he made Lee stand out more. Carloy couldn't move and cried for a long time. He thought he wasn't deserving of crying, and he even asked him evil, but to no avail.

Because he lost the only valuable thing in his life, the beautiful thing. But soon he thought. He actually said he never had.

***

Lexem Sorta was the main territory of the former kingdom of Solta. It was merged with Croisen more than 200 years ago and became the Grand Duchy of Solta. When almost all of the royal families died, it was transformed into a general estate. The different intensity of sunlight indicated that Lexem Sorta entered the most fertile and fertile land.

“How is your body?”

"OK."

Mary-Ann carefully asked Lirian as he got off the wagon. Contrary to worries, Lilian's voice was calm.

Worrying about, Lyrian didn't say a word while leaving Delua to Lexem Sorta. He wasn't making any noise, his face wasn't distorted, he wasn't crying, he just sat still. As she touched her necklace, which contained De Nice's remains.

It was the first time I walked away from Delua that the neck hangings matched Lirian very well, making Mary Anne's mood strange. Can this sad neck hook be so beautiful?

Anyway, Lirian came to Lexem Sorta like that without much agitation. Still, Lirian looked sad. She shapes people with sorrow. She seemed to look like her Lilian cotton.

“This is Solis Hill, the Duke of Duna said that a person would be greeted over here.”

Lirian closed her eyes for a moment. The sunlight was very warm. The warmth surrounding her body was awkward. No, it seemed to permeate, not to embrace.

“When you stand here, you can see the Delfinan River and Lexem Sorta at a glance. They say that it is famous for plantain, wow, Your Majesty!"

First, Jane, who was up the hill, exclaimed. Lyrian slowly climbed the hill.

“Look over there. Looks like that's the La Sorti Palace.”

Purtu was gorgeous, and Delua was grand. I saw things that were beautiful enough to feel overbearing. But Lexem Sorta was completely different.

Lirian briefly loses her words, and she looks down at the scenery beneath the hill. The setting sun was beautifully hung on the elegant spire of La Sorti, and the sunlight spread like a wave, enveloping the beautiful stone buildings hanging on either side.

She knew for the first time that even in the sunlight, there was a sparkle like moisture. The shimmering, shimmering scarlet light spreading softly and naturally connected with the waves of the Delfinan River, where the sun was about to sink.

Green land spread out over the river, and small buildings decorated with large and crude decorations peculiar to Solta were gathered.

“..... is it pretty?”

Mary Ann whispered. Lyrian barely nodded with her throat chopped. Lyrian thought of Denise, looking down at the city of the twinkling sun. Tears tried to burst out, but Lirian gave his eyes strength.

Denise was right. There were certainly other things in this world besides suffering and unhappiness. Things Li Lian never saw, things she didn't know.

Aside from Denis's arms, there must be a warm place. Even though Denise was so missing from the world, the things that existed were still there. So beautifully..

***

“How on earth did La Sorthio become a mad man sanatorium, Won.”

“You have to learn to watch your mouth first, Becks.”

Bex, the master commander, who thought there was no one, and flirted alone, was surprised by the soft voice of Rio from behind.

"People say that it tastes good to go to Lupus without your skill in your food? You know that skill is good, but you make fun of it. You will go to Lupus from the beginning."

“Ayu, my wife said such a terrifying word... But I thought she would come a little late. With His Majesty the Empress."

"I stopped by for a while on the way. People like you can join us for a while."

Olivia Donata, the wife of Count Solis, the lord of Lexem Sorta, was an old lady with her grayish hair curled up gracefully.

Olivia, who was only born and raised in her Lexem Sorta, and a sideline to the former Solta royalty, had the tranquility and laid-back peculiar to her Soltain, but her graceful dignity she had made her look like a neatly ordered person.

"No, well......... I would never say that if I knew who was there. And the Duke of Dunya lived half-mindedly a while ago, and her Majesty also said what was it, he was sick. I'm worried. I said it because of this.”

"Hmm. Wrapping horses isn't as good as decorating a cake.”

With the bruises given like a joke, Becks simply raised his gaze. Anyway, I didn't say anything wrong.

What does it mean that the imperial healer first arrived in La Sorthio, and even Nya did not come to La Sorthio with the healer after he was always looking at the lake.

Olivia Donata and Chef Becks were the people who lived in the Count's book, but when the Empress stayed in La Sorthio, she took over the administration of the palace.

“This place is different from the Count's work, so be careful with such self-talk now. When I'm worried about that, I try to regain the appetite of Her Majesty with her skill.”

“Oh, of course. By the way, when is La Sorthio beautiful to see? Actually, I'm happy to be here.”

Vex's cheeky face turned red with pride. Olivia nodded her head as she gazed for a moment at the palace that her ancestors had built in the past.

She said, "It would be better if the Empress liked her too."

The story of her empress from Alexis Dunya was a story that she would not hear without her tears. Olivia is a man who doesn't have much tears, and when she heard the story, she cried in as many as 20 years.

She wasn't unaware of Del Lua's tyranny, but, as always, the capital's work felt a bit far from Lexem Sorta. However, her empress's circumstances were sad enough to close her distance at once.

Olivia Donata, she set out on her path, wondering how to comfort her sick empress here.

***

Upon first seeing her empress, she thought Olivia. She said comforting this woman would be terribly difficult.

"It's an honor to meet your Majesty the Empress," she said. "It's Olivia Donata. I'll take you to La Sor Tio so you don't feel comfortable."

“The Countess Solis.”

"Please call me Olivia."

The empress slightly nodded her head, and she didn't call her name. It was rather easy to deal with people who express their emotions violently. Like the empress now, she was more difficult to be a calm person on the outside.

She was by the way, she was a great beauty. Her body is bad. She was high, she heard, and she thought that if she had a complete illness, but that degree ...... When she was healthy, the Solta painters would not stop worshiping them, she thought inwardly of the Countess.

She was also a face that made Hans reminiscent of Dellua's youthful enemy. No one knows that she is as crazy as that human beauty, and that she is just as crazy as her personality. When she saw that face, she thought that Huang I was pretty tough.

When she thinks of Del Lua, she doesn't seem to have a good relationship, but when she sees hundreds of orders to take care of the empress, she doesn't seem to be either.

Even in her carriage, the Empress didn't say much. Her hand-in-law and the women who appear to be hand-in-law were busy watching the empress's notice. She seemed to be worried about the empress.

“How about Lexem Sorta? Do you like her?”

At Olivia's tender question, the Empress briefly looked into her eyes. The old lady had a very good voice.

“...It looks like a beautiful place.”

Whenever I heard it, I was satisfied and proud. Olivia smiled lightly.

“Oh, your Majesty's therapist is arriving first at La Sorthio.”

“The therapist? what......"

“What was your name. I think it was Amos Wright, but I think he was the healer sent by the emperor, but he thought that his Majesty would arrive first.”

It was Karloy's therapist. Lirian's face darkened for a moment. Carlos even drank poison....... How do I send the best therapist to me?

But soon he erased that thought. Because Karl Roy made a promise this time. He said he would live, and he finally arrived in La Sor Tio, so he was able to drive away the idea of a job. No, it seemed correct to say that La Sortio was so beautiful that it made it impossible to think about anything else.

Obviously, the size was smaller than the Furtu, and it was not as flashy as the Furtu. However, the finely painted decorations on the buildings made of pale reddish bricks were elaborate and beautiful enough to catch the eye. Even the ivy climbing the wall of the building matched well.

"Are you okay?"

Mary Ann carefully asked Lirian, who was looking at La Sor Tio without saying anything.

".....Huh. It’s beautiful.”

Above all, there was a sun in La Sorthio. The sun seen in La Sorthio was just like the last decoration painted by the artist for La Sorthio. As long as the sun rose, no place could be more beautiful than this palace.

A light smile spread over Olivia's face again. With a satisfied expression, the Countess briefly introduced the employees.

“Should you eat dinner, right?”

“I’m a little tired after coming a long way. I can't do it today.”

At the words of the Empress, Chef Becks cried as if the world had collapsed. Olivia Donata did not vomit and immediately led the empress into her bedroom.

Outside the bedroom, a therapist who had seen boredom in Purtu was waiting for Lirian. The therapist watched Lirian drink her medicine all the way with her axe eyes open.

“I have told you many times, but you should never neglect to take it. Because poison is not cured in a short period of time, you need to eat it firmly, but not too nervously.”

“Okay.”

"How about a headache?"

"Similar to usual."

"What about a nightmare?"

".....Reduced."

The stem was reduced. More than frequency. The nightmare before that was so vivid that it was difficult to distinguish between dreams and reality. He seemed to hear hallucinations even after waking up. The nightmares I had after taking the medicine were usually at the same level as I had always had. Those things that the peacock had been working on even before he died.

“It's my first time seeing such a poison, so it's difficult to cure it quickly, but I'll be able to make better medicines over time. do not worry."

"Is it okay if you are here? The capital would be more comfortable."

"My family came with me, and I think I'm on vacation. In Purtu..."

As if the therapist shuddered, the words were blurred. Seeing the shabby empress in front of me, I wasn't so unnoticed that I was in trouble.

I wasn't worried about the emperor, but he couldn't refuse the order, and it would be okay because he was good at Insu-in.

"You'll be fine for the emperor. Don't worry too much, take a rest."

Lirian nodded her head. As far as her therapist left the bedroom, the neat room became quiet.

There was a warmth in La Sorthio. No, there seemed to be warmth everywhere in Lexem Sorta. It was hard to feel in Purtuna Delua.

Lirian touched her necklace. If she had lived in a place like this, she probably wouldn't have been sick of de Nice. Although she is a useless family.

***

Contrary to the idea of A Moss Wright, Karl Roy's new therapist was blaming her predecessor as if it were going to kill. He said he had everything organized, he said he would just do what he did.

Despite the conviction of his predecessor, the emperor was poisoned somewhere and returned to Purtu. Mahain, who was next to him, said that the condition wasn't so bad, but it suddenly deteriorated on the way up. Where the hell came this poison, I picked it up and ate it.

What if it was a poison that he didn't know about, or if the Huang had swallowed a lethal dose? Go, my throat would have blown right away.

Sweating next to the emperor who was making bullshit with high fever, the new therapist swears inside. Some of them were in Lexem Sorta, and others were staying up all night from the first day of work.

***

In the morning, the Empress had no appetite, so she was once again disappointed by the maid-in-law's request for a simple preparation. The cold-impressed empress gives off an atmosphere that his appetite for a lifetime will never return, but he wonders when he will be able to show his skills.

But he knew how to make a difference even in small dishes if it were a true chef. The people of Lexem Sorta praised Lupus for the skill of Vex, but if you don't know, you want to hear from the monk at least once. Especially if he's not just a capital city, but a Purtu's man. He was the empress!

He sent the mushroom-filled onion soup made with all his might, bread lightly moistened with meat gravy, and fresh asparagus and celery, along with fruits, to the empress's bedroom.

“I don’t have a taste for it, so maybe I can eat lunch for the first time…”

Lirian muttered weakly, but Mary Anne didn't even move. Olivia Donata, who was watching her, decided that she seemed to be a person with a pulpit in the area where she needed a maid.

“Take three mouths. Then I won’t really bother you.”

The small number moved her heart, and the Empress carefully lifted the spoon. The hot soup ran over the dry lips of the empress. Lirian blinked her eyes for a moment.

“......It's delicious.”

There is no chef like Becks anywhere in the world. Olivia, who believes it, thought it was a very stingy compliment, but her maid-in-chief's face was brighter than the sun of Lexem Sorta.

"really?"

It was the taste of the food that felt really fresh, so that the taste itself was absurd. A light appetite bloomed from under the stomach. Lilian ate the soup five times, ate about two bites of bread, and emptied about a third of the vegetables.

At her heinous meals, Olivia looked at the empress with her anxious face, but her maid-in-chief and the maid, who seemed to be her daughter, seemed to be on the verge of crying, overwhelmed by her emotions. As I watched it, I got a rough idea of what the Empress in Purtu was like.

"Is it because the place has changed? I think her face has become a little okay."

At the words of the maid, Olivia again glanced at her empress's face. That her face has improved....... Her expression of Olivia was also blurred, wondering how the hell empress had been with Four Two in the meantime.

However, Lirian agreed to some extent with her Mary Ann. It wasn't until she came to La Sor Tio that she realized how hard it was for Purtu.

"Is there anything else you want to do? Like something you want to see."

At Olivia's question, the empress quietly shook her head.

"Hmm. Then, would you like to take a break and take a look at La Sorti during the day? There are many beautiful places in the palace. If you are unwilling, you can see it next time."

Olivia's way of speaking had a side that made it difficult for people to refuse. I didn't know if it was due to the specific accent of Soltain, her sluggish speech, or because of her pleasing voice.

“Would you like to see the lady and the maid?”

Jane, called Lady, blushed her cheeks. Eventually, Lyrian nodded her head small. Seeing that, Olivia smiled at her.

***

The emperor woke up after suffering four days and nights. His third day was a hump. Alexis Dunya agonized over the next with a pale face.

After how the hump passed safely, he was exhausted while trying to appease Asher. I've never seen that idiot cry, but he cried very sadly.

From self-study that he hesitated like an idiot, and to the question of whether he was not wrong when he was going to find a therapist and fed it from a drug that made him vomit because he thought he was going to die. Till.

Alexis was shocked and barely calming Asher, spitting her words out like a crazy man, and inspected Karlroy's condition.

“Would you really be okay?”

“Yes... I think I can feel relieved now, yo. It seems like you've been in this area after holding on with your mental strength.”

The therapist, who had been exhausted for days, replied with a weak voice. He only understood why his predecessor's complexion was getting worse day by day. That's right, I'm going to take over that everything will be fine.......

“Because you are not in good shape… you must take good care of yourself. There is no good place.”

The therapist blamed his predecessor, who had left this trash-like body unprepared and ran away.

"Wright says you are the smartest of his students. I believe."

“Yes...”

"The emperor often refuses treatment, says it's okay if it's not okay, and he has a habit of lying that he took medicine without taking any medicine, so you should always be careful."

The more I heard it, the more catastrophic it was, and it seemed that it would remain in a book as an example of the most difficult patient to treat. Instead of crying, the therapist only sighed.

Contrary to the Duke's concerns, however, the emperor was healed silently after waking up. He explained the condition well, and he also said exactly what treatment he wanted.

One flaw was that he didn't seem to have any intentions to relax. As soon as he was able to move his body, the emperor began to roll his body. To work.

Alexis expressed anxiety as he watched Carlo Yi cling to work as if he would change the country from corner to corner.

“Even if a person suddenly changes, it’s scary.”

“You should take a break too. I'm old, but I rolled too much.”

With a look that he couldn't get anymore, Karloy muttered.

Why should I talk about his age so bored? At the end of the day, Alexis herself, much older, looked 500 times healthier than Carloy.

"After you said so, and where else to die, I guess what you wanted to get from Bernie for your majesty's disappearance, but what kind of nonsense is the idea... no matter how crazy he was."

"It doesn't happen anymore."

Unbelievable, Alexis narrowed his eyes and looked at Carloy.

“...... Because Lirian told me not to do that.”

In one word, Alexis cleared his doubts. no wonder. Alexis realized that Asher was right again. He said the empress was the easiest and fastest way to do it.

"Well with the Empress......."

Alexis struggled with his words. Are you releasing, reconciling, or talking? None of the words seemed appropriate. The relationship between the two was too complex because it was expressed in neat words.

Carloy answered silently to see if he had understood the broken question.

"..... he'll leave if he gets a little better."

"You're leaving, where are you going? Do you want to go somewhere else?"

"The empress's seat."

Neither Lyrian nor Carloy told exactly what, but both knew.

Lyrian would not have returned from La Sorthio. He's exhausted now and has no time to think about anything else, so he would have gone somewhere to avoid him as soon as possible, but if it was okay he would probably leave forever.

La Sorthio would be a place to prepare to leave. He won't have to be with him, so he won't even need an empress.

Again, he felt like his chest was falling somewhere.

"No, then..."

Alexis couldn't continue his words this time. What is he going to say? There was nothing to hold the empress.

"Stop the ball. It's been a while since you haven't been to the duke's house."

Even though the Duke me, there weren't any waiting or greeted people, but Alexis nodded his head. Even if there were no people, there was fatigue.

It wasn't until alone that Carloy stopped doing what he was doing and sat blankly. He has to live. It was difficult. It's easy to die originally. The difficult thing is to live.

<Don't make my life meaningless. My go..... so that I don't regret any more..>

<If you continue to live like that, I will have meaning too.>

Even to live so that someone does not regret it. How difficult is that. How do you be a human like yourself.

He was too hard to breathe quietly, but he wouldn't mean anything to just breathe and live. He didn't want to make you think he saved useless humans. Lilian's request was too cruel and heavy, and was infinitely undeserved.

He was once again alone in Purtu.

***

Olivia Donata was a great storyteller. In the old story of Sol Ta, who walked around La Sor Tio and slowly released it one by one, Li Lian noticed that he had walked longer than usual, and only after his leg broke.

“This is Lake Mexus. Isn't the location very exquisite? It just shows up when you want to sit down and rest.”

The hand leading to the lake couldn't have been more natural. The clean water of the lake shone in the sunlight.

Looking at the calm lake, Lirian thought that he could really love the sun of La Sorti, even if he didn't know anything else. I got less depressed when I went to a place where there was sunlight. And just that much I wanted to see Denise.

Seeing the Empress blankly looking at the lake, she spoke with Olivia in a friendly voice.

“It is said that deep in Mexus live mermaids who speak to the dead in Lupus. Of course it's a legend."

"Is it in?"

Asked Jane. Jane was already hooked on Olivia.

"The white wolf made those who couldn't die properly because of the people left behind even after death, and they said they went back and forth with lupus and on the ground," she said.

Denise lived a good life, so he must have gone to Lupus. Then, are you looking at Lyrian right now? If so, he didn't want to show anything like this. She wants to show a good figure....... enough for Denise to be happy.

“But you know what? Perhaps that is why there is a legend that when you talk to Maxus, the person you want to see that night will come into your dream."

“Oh, so...”

Mary Ann muttered like a self-talk. As Olivia opened her eyes round, curiously, Mary Anne laughed lightly.

"Oh, it's not a big deal....... I heard that the Duke of Dunya was only looking at the lake every day when he was here."

The story of Alexis, which came out of a sudden, caused Lirian to escape from her thoughts. It was only after hearing her words that Lirian remembered that she was the predecessor empress, where Alexis' younger brother died. In no time, Olivia's face filled with sorrow.

“Because he ate meals here. If he hadn't been outdoors, he probably would have slept here even he slept. Did she always look at the lake, talk to her, and keep her journal.”

"I think her sisters were very special."

“Because the former Duke and his wife went early to raise her younger brother. This was also the place that the Empress Sun was particularly fond of.”

Lirian only knew one thing about Adelaide Croitan. She was insulted by Carloy, and in the end she gave up on him.

“What kind of person was the empress of the predecessor?”

“He was a good person.”

Lirian's expression for a moment became ambiguous at evaluations contrary to what she knew. Olivia gently added her words to see if she had noticed the thought.

“.....To other people. As the empress, he treated others kindly.”

Well, I couldn't find anyone else in Croysen who didn't like Adelaide Croytan.

“He was infinitely cold to his children, but he must have believed that he should think bigger....... It is a miracle that the current emperor actually lived like this. He was afraid to let his parents die, too, followed by endless attempts to kill.”

Olivia was the victim of the Duke Lirian. She only knew the facts, and she didn't know anything about Lyrian's relationship with Carloy.

“You must have been in trouble because someone was trying to kill him. Adelaide-sama's blame for that is also big. It's a little bit more to say that he was a friendly person. Still, he wouldn't have said he didn't love him.”

Hearing her words reminded me of her blurred memory. Karlois so easily believed she would have given him poison to kill him.

At that time, what was the look of Carroy looking at herself. It was definitely a memory I didn't want to remember, and it was a memory I had forcibly erased, but strangely, I remembered clearly now.

At that time, I didn't care much about Carloy's expression. When I think about it now, it's more like a wounded expression than a contempt for myself.

It hurt a little. He always breaks the heart. The people who say they love him to Karloi suddenly change at some point and aren't surprised even if they poison him?

“I guess Purtu is a place that makes people that way.”

At Lirian's quiet words, Olivia kept her silent for a moment, then responded carefully.

“Hans Delua made Purtu that way.”

Lirian looked at the lake again without any answer. Olivia got up from her chair and got her dress in order.

“I’m going to give the maid and the lady a little tour of the garden, but your Majesty will do more of the lake view?”

".....okay."

Mary Ann and Jane hesitated to leave Lirian alone, but Olivia led them with that unwavering smile of her politeness.

Lirian, who is left alone, touches her lips for a long time, and ends up with a small voice.

".....Mom."

Even though I thought I was too stupid, I couldn't stop somehow. It seemed to me to know why Alexis was here.

“Are you listening? Or..... I must be too stupid.”

Once she opened her mouth, her words flowed out as if waiting.

“Lexem Sorta is really pretty. Her mom knows why she sang her song like that.”

I really wish Denise was listening. She thought.

"I'm still sick because I miss my mom... Will this get used to it over time? But if I get used to it... I think it will be sad as it is."

The lake did not return the answer. It just flowed and flowed through the water. The consistency was somewhat comforting.

And that night, Denis appeared in his dream. In her healthiest appearance, and she shuddered at all, saying she had seen Lexem Sorta.

Even in her dreams, Lirian knew that such a de Nice look was what she had made. But she was fine. It means that even in her dreams, Denise remains clear in Lirian's memory, so that she can make Denise like a living person.

Lirian didn't lose Denise. She never did that. As if her Denise never lost her.

Lirian quickly realized how much her Denise loved her. Whoever you love, not losing that person is harder than dying, no, more than living,

***

It rained in Purtuen. It wasn't surprising, but the sound of the rain was sick on that day. Carloi, who was sitting in the office, buried him in my hand, crumpling his face in the constant falling rain.

Every time I watched the raindrops fall, I thought of Lilian. Lyrian was dying in Purtu. Her memories were brutally clear, reviving each of Lirian's facial expressions in his head.

On a rainy day, when I saw Lyrian looking out blankly, he said something.

<Is not in good health, what can I do?Why do you take a walk without needing while frying people every day?>

"Fuck......."

He kept muttering swear words. Crazy new talent... It was a punishment to have to breathe and live even with all these memories.

<It was better then. When you treated me as a person without me...

After hearing the voice of Lyrian, who was crying badly in the falling rain, Carlo couldn't stand it and picked up the bottle. The sound of the rain made it seem that time had gone back to that time.

You will hear that. If you couldn't believe it, I'd rather let it stand still at that time, and belated regret lit the memory like oil.

The therapist never told me to drink alcohol, but he could hardly survive this memory without alcohol. He wanted to dig his ears. Even though he breathed half a bottle like a madman, memories kept flowing into his head.

All he thought was that he wanted to see Lyrian, but that didn't mean that he wanted her to come to life vividly.

Drooping with alcohol, Karloy leaned against the chair and breathed. He seemed to be helpful or not at all. Feeling miserable, he heard the sound of the rain blankly. The glass shook dangerously from his clapping hands.

That's why Lirian drank in Purtu?I couldn't stand it without alcohol, so when Lirian, who was sitting in a messy bedroom drunk, came to mind, Carlo closed her eyes. Of course, winding was no use.

Ah. He realized that Lyrian was right. He didn't remember. It was only repeated. In a dream, in the head. It was terrible that Lyrian also felt this feeling.

As he heard the sound of the rain that never stopped, Carloi thought. It was really fortunate that Lyrian left himself, and he was fortunate to go to a place where he couldn't see himself.

Carloi wanted him to disappear from her memory at all so that he could not repeat himself in her head. He wouldn't die here, but in Lyrian's memory he hoped to die.

There seemed to be a sound of glass breaking through the blurred consciousness.

***

It was about a week after her arrival that she realized that there was no rain in Lexem Sorta.

“Aren’t it raining here?”

Unlike Croisen, where it rained when bored, Lexem Sorta's sun never knew it would be cloudy. Olivia, who used to read next to her, nodded.

“It doesn’t come well. I tend to come a little during the rainy season, but... not even that often.”

For Lyrian, there was one more reason to like Lexem Sorta. If it's rain, I'm tired of it.

Olivia looked closely at Lirian, who seemed to be in her condition. The empress, who had been fine for about a day or two, woke up in the middle of the night on the third night and wandered around the palace. While weeping, the maid of honor skillfully sootheed the empress and took it back to the bedroom, perhaps familiar.

Then she slept like dead for two days and didn't get out of bed, and yesterday and today looked okay again. Today I even emptied the morning for the first time.

Although her condition was unstoppable, it wasn't that she hadn't seen anyone improve that way, so Olivia watched the empress calmly.

“If you’re okay, how about having lunch at a restaurant today?”

"Restaurant?"

"I'm so sorry that the chef couldn't serve up the right food. If you're tired, it's okay to go next time."

Strictly speaking, Becks wasn't much to regret. He was left with more than half each time and saw the food returning, and his pride was tattered.

Olivia was comfortable with her suggestion and waiting for her reply. Lirian replied while looking at the woman who gave off a relaxed atmosphere with her whole body.

"okay......."

Olivia Donata certainly didn't talk much about her. She mostly listened or watched. When she first took her Lirian to the lake, she seemed to have spoken to her a lot, not like her.

That's why she felt like she should listen sometimes when she talks. In addition, Olivia's distinctive way of saying that she can do this and that she can do that makes her answer a bit like that. Yes, yes or no.......

And I was curious about the food. She said the food she was putting up was delicious enough, but it wasn't the right food.

It's not if the food she ate in Purtu was tasteless. The cuisine of the capital imperial palace would be like that. But now, I didn't even remember, and at that time it didn't seem like I ate while feeling anything.

“Vex will be happy.”

The old lady smiled and started reading the book again. His long fingers peacefully flipped over his bookshelf. After holding that book for a few days, it seemed that the page was running out.

“The book looks very interesting.”

"Hmm? Didn't your Majesty read it? It was a book brought by the maid. I was reading it because I recommended that the maid and Lady Jane be so fun to read."

Lirian frowned for a moment and looked at Olivia at the book above her lap. Come to think of it, I was used to something like a book, and that there was nothing written on the cover. It was given by Keena Roden. Even after she received it, she had forgotten it, but it seemed that Mary Anne had taken it.

“If your Majesty is bored later, please read it. That's not bad."

Another Olivia's habit that Lirian found out was the way she used to evaluate her. When Olivia wasn't involved in Solta, the evaluation was always that way. It's not bad. She seems to be okay. She doesn't compliment or swear, and always stays in the middle.

Seeing that such a person praised the chef's food skillfully, it seemed that the chef was either a Saltine or a specialty of Salta food.

“Then, I'll walk around Mexus and go to the restaurant.”

Olivia didn't say she'd go with her empty words. She laughed and said she would go pick up when she was ready. When Mary Ann and Jane tried to follow, she even stopped Olivia lightly.

Lirian went to see Lake Mexus almost every day. Since her first day, she hasn't seen Denise appear in her dreams, but just seeing her has helped hold her time.

She, as always, leaning against a tree by the lake, suddenly noticed a small hole in the tree trunk. There seemed to be something inside. Raising her toes as far as they can go and putting her hand in, something caught her. Lyrian gave her strength to pull something out of the hole. She was a book.

She leaned against a tree and opened her inside to see her cursive writing. It wasn't a book, it seemed to be someone's notebook. Only one sentence was written on the first page.

<Adelaide is not dead.>

Upon reading this sentence, Lirian realized who this was. Her heart thumped and again covered her bookshelf. It wasn't a moral thing to see someone's private diary, even the most sensitive part.

"sire!"

I heard Jane calling from a distance. Lyrian calmed her amazed heart and put her diary back where it was.

***

Chef Becks gave everything for today. Perfect ingredients, perfect recipes, and perfect supplements. It was truly a perfection worthy of the beauty of Lexem Sorta.

Today's lunch, Vex's skills would be evaluated coldly by the royal family. The Saltines tended to overestimate Bex's nose. It wouldn't be surprising if one day his nose turned sharp like a Lartua. He wanted an objective evaluation. Everything from soup to meat and poultry, vegetables and desserts and drinks was perfect.

Becks waited for the Empress's reaction with an impatient face. The empress entered the restaurant with the usual expressionless expression. Vex swallowed his saliva in a sense of tension in his face that seemed to have no gaps. The empress, who carelessly looked at the long table, opened his mouth, pointing to the badger dish.

"Is that an operim?"

"Ah yes! Yes. Have you ever tried it?"

“.....No, I heard that it is a famous traditional Salta food.”

The Empress's voice was as calm as Lake Mexus. However, there was a trembling like a wave. Suddenly, Becks thought the Empress looked sad. When I looked closely, it was a face that was depressed rather than being cold.

Ignoring the order of the meal, the Empress said that he would eat it from the opera. The servants put the dishes on the empress's plate. The empress chewed food very slowly for a long time. After swallowing it all, the pride of Vex, who had already become sloppy because there was no reaction to this or that, was about to hit the floor.

"sire… "

Tears fell from the empress's eyes. Becks lost his words in shock. Are you saying it doesn't taste so good? Well, there must be a reason for the food to come back more than half every time.

The maid, who was sitting next to her, held out her handkerchief with a confused face. Tears didn't stop in the empress's eyes.

“Do you have anything inconvenient?”

Instead of the chef in a panic state, Olivia asked the empress instead. The empress shook his head.

“No, it’s delicious........”

Why did that word sound so sad?

"It's really good..."

The empress roughly wiped the tears with a handkerchief, and then took another bite. There were still tears in his eyes.

“I see why it is famous. People..... Why do they want to eat it that way?”

Becks had pride in his food, but it was delicious enough to make people cry. He didn't think. Besides, the empress said it was delicious, but he also left about half of the lunch. There were many foods that I couldn't even touch.

Nevertheless, Becks knew. It was the first time in his 40-year life that the Empress's words were sincere. It was the saddest compliment he ever heard.

Becks sincerely wanted to provide delicious food to the Empress. Food that the sick empress can eat without spilling water. Becks knew the power of food. He might have a hard time making a person cry, but he could have made him live for a while.

***

Because of Bernie's magic, delegates from each country on the continent decided to gather at Croixen. Since Karlois has funded a huge amount of research funding for Croisen's Magic Society, he will find out more than he is now, and he needed to share it in order to take countermeasures and demand responsibility from Verni.

Watching Karlroy seem busy with the problem, Alexis thought he was like a living invoice. He ate well, received treatment regularly, worked fine, and didn't look fine at all. It was only creepy.

“Fortunately from Mach, the emperor, not the brother, is coming. You can relax your mind. That emperor wasn't so tricky to beat up.”

“Would you be able to meet the mission in such a state of mind.”

Carloy, whose eyes were pitted and a scarier impression than before, looked at Alexis.

“Have I ever had a problem recently? I'm fine.”

The therapist didn't say that. Your Majesty needs time to rest. I'm not going to overdo it.”

“I have a lot to do.”

"Because you do everything you don't have to do. You can have me do this."

“Dunya, please.”

The expression remained the same, but the end of Karloi's words trembled. Alexis glanced down at the crumpled paper from Carloy's hand.

“Let me do the damn thing.”

Carloy paused for a moment as he couldn't breathe.

“..... please.”

When it came out like that, there was nothing else to say. Overall, there was no answer. I pretend to be living fine now, but I was wondering how long it would last. It means whether the body will accept it.

It seemed like I was drinking once or twice, but I haven't been drinking anymore. Of course, it's better not to drink than to get drunk and break something like last time, but I was wondering how to endure Purtu without alcohol and without an empress.

“I don't have any problems, so let's do the ball. I won't die and I won't live like a dog.”

It was like that I would rather have let him die at that time.

"...Okay. Just do this today and go in and take a rest.”

Knowing that it was Dunya's greatest concession, Karloi sighed and nodded. Carloi, who was looking around the constellation to greet his envoy for the last time, suddenly stood on the spot.

Following Karloi's unnaturally stiff gaze, Alexis turned his head. Karloi was staring through the colorful Lituna decorations on the wall.

"sire. Are you okay?"

Carloy had no answer.

“Now no one can get close to Lituna, so it seems to be used as a decoration. Shall I get rid of it?”

"no."

He barely got an answer.

“......I'll go first.”

Carloy's back looked so precarious that Alexis almost caught him without my knowledge. But Carloy walked out without hesitation. He didn't stumble at all. That point made Alexis anxious.

Carloi couldn't show anyone his disorganized appearance. If even one person saw such a figure ...... He seemed to be a trash with no meaning. Lyrian's promises, or failing to keep them.

He only took his breath out of the garden where no one could see him. Li Tuna, who begins to bloom again in Four Two, vividly proved Lirian's complete absence, and she proved so intensely that she could not be turned away.

As soon as she saw the white flowers in full bloom, her memories began to flock. Lilian was lying sick because of her Li Tuna and her ....... And her words to her at that time were constantly repeated. His relationship with Lyrian ended disastrously, but his memory had no end. Everything in Purtu brought to life Zero Lirian, his memory.

Nauseous and forced to eat dinner, Karloy sat down as if toppled on the statue.

"Lian......"

He closed his eyes and quietly called out a name that he would never reach again. Names that make you want to die just by calling them, but he will not die. He won't even cry.

It felt like a beast drowned in water that couldn't even breathe. When I try to live, all that comes out is empty bubbles.

I didn't mean to do that, but in the end it was. Lyrian fiddled with Alexis' diary hidden under the pillow for a long time. Obviously, I know that I shouldn't see it, but without my knowledge, I took the diary from the lake again.

It wasn't because of curiosity. I was just curious. How the hell is Alexis overcoming that loss? For Lirian, the method was desperate.

At some point, it was okay, but at other times, I suffered from longing. Whenever I eat something. I didn't want to be captivated like a fool whenever I saw something. I was so frustrated how I could overcome this sadness, so I thought I wanted to take a look at someone's diary.

After her Lyrian took her medicine well, her Mary Ann also left her alone, so there was no one in her bedroom. Li Lian, who hesitated for a long time, ended up pulling out his diary and opening his second chapter.

<No, Adelaide is dead. It is a fact that does not change no matter how hard I try. The boy died. So no matter how much you think about it, there is no reason to live for me. Everything has lost its meaning.>

There was no special content. Lirian turned to the next chapter.

<Adelaide is cold and often cruel. She didn't know. Rather, I even loved that aspect. But she is now and she makes it bother me. She told me why she asked me to live, why she asked me to stay next to her son.>

Is the expression of someone who has lost someone so similar or similar in nature? Maybe it is because there are no words in the world to properly express the feeling of loss.

Alexis' diary was nothing new. Anger for Delua, vainness for death, skepticism for meaningless life, duty for maintenance... all were things Lirian knew. Even if I changed Adelaide to Denise, I didn't seem to have any discomfort in her tongue.

While reading Alexis' diary, feeling remorse, Lyrian realized one thing. Alexis has never overcome the loss. That.



It was just living with her memory, getting used to it, and holding on to it. She didn't have the answer to search for so much, but her mind was relaxed. It made her feel a little lighter to learn that she wasn't the only one who was so stupid.

It was because of Karlois that it was not so easy to break down. Alexis' diary was like what Lirian was feeling, but the only difference was Carloy.

In Alexis' diary, resentment against Karloi appeared as often as his feelings against Delua. The resentment and expectations were too harsh for the child who had lost his parents, so Lirian had to hold his breath several times.

His heart continued to ache. Every time I read such a sentence, I remembered a boy who was trapped in a dark forest and said that no one would find him.

He <Maybe it should have been Carloy, not Adelaide.>

From the word Carlo at the end of the sentence, a black line was drawn several times. He wondered if he felt guilty even when he wrote it.

Lirian covered her diary and pondered for a moment. She has full memories of Denise and Alexis of Adelaide. He allows even loss to endure. Then Karloy, who does he have?

Is it because I read the past of Karlroy, which I could guess, in too specific a way. Her heart was bright. It wasn't until he got this far away from Carlo that he had to guess a little bit of his mind. In vain.

In that day's dream, it was not Carloi who was hurting herself, but Carloi, who cried in the garden one night.

<Lou, Lou......I did it wrong, Lou......>



Carloie said he was very sorry.

Without a whole person or memory, I wondered what the hell he was thinking about 14 years. Soon Lirian realized. That he couldn't hold up and collapsed like that.

Lyrian is now suspicious of whether he can really "save" Karloy what he did that day.

<continued to volume 5>

END OF BOOK 4.

I will upload the last book soon. Be around.
Click to expand...

Thank you.you truly are an angel for us.

Victo.gg · Apr 19, 2021

20. Carl and Lou (2)

The Marina Palace was one of the fourteen palaces of the Maha Capital Palace.

“If you only get treatment for a few weeks, it will be fine. Don't be overwhelmed. Although Beluamar is strong, there is a cure."

Lirian tried hard to understand what Mach's therapist was saying to Karloy, but he was still difficult.

“.....If you apply the medicine a few times, it will be okay. I told you, it's no big deal.”

As if reading Lirian's heart, Carloy gave me a sermon, but I was skeptical. Looking at Lyrian's facial expression, Karloy added.

"Really. It doesn't hurt people seriously."

“That's the problem for you. I don't know that for a normal person, even this wound is big.”

Lyrian became more and more emotional as he spoke. He was upset by the appearance of Karloi, who was always the same.

"what's the problem. Can't you put your body a little first? Do not act like this, as if it doesn't matter if you die!"

At her increasingly fierce appearance of Lyrian, Carloy looked at her as if she had lost her words.

“Every time you do this, I. I'm going crazy.”

Carloi hardened his face as to what the hell was interpreting Lyrian's words.

“I don't know what you're misunderstanding, but I'm fine. I was living well, and there's no reason you care about me.”

".....okay?"

“So don’t get tied up here because of me and leave. If you try to get involved more, only you are tired......."

As Karloi's increasingly determined tone, Lirian sighed. My stomach boiled because of the stuffiness I didn't know for some reason. When Lirian said something, the bedroom door suddenly opened. It was Milenin Noka, who would be tired if we got hooked up.

"I heard it from the therapist. I'm glad that the wound is not deep."

Millenin was smiling again to see if he had found reason on his way to the palace and spoke Croisen. Carloy replied in an expressionless manner.

"I'm not sure if the Mach therapist is reliable, but I'm a little sicker than I thought."

Lyrian narrowed her eyes and looked at Karloy. It wasn't much until now, and then she suddenly draws

“That therapist is my exclusive therapist. So you don't have to worry about being a quack, Karlroy. It will be healed soon.”

"Well, that doesn't make sense on the part of the person responsible for the injury. You may want to intentionally reduce it."

“The cause, if anyone hears, I think I stabbed you with a knife.”

“Don't I tell my sister that Prellum is dangerous? But, Gu-tae, really Ge-i, you're going to invite me....”

As if he couldn't hear the slow continuation of Karlroy's words anymore, Milenin smiled and responded nervously.

"Oh, all right. All right, that's my responsibility, admit it."

“Thank you for giving me yes.”

“Then can you tell me now? Why did the Empress of Croixen come into Mach while hiding her identity?"

“Before that, how the hell did you know?”

“When I was a princess, the Duke of Delua once came to Mach.”

Just by looking at her face, she knew she was the daughter of the Duke, so Lirian became tired of her own face.

“Did she remember seeing it only once? When you were younger?"

Milenin shrugged lightly, as if what was the main thing.

“I never forget the handsome face.”

".... you're stupid."

"Anyway. Now, I should call you the Empress, not your wife, right?"

Milenin's characteristic high-pressure gaze and smile turned to Lilian. However, Lirian, who had been terribly afflicted by the Duke of Del Lua, was now scared of much.

She said, “I'm sorry she cheated, but it's true that she's not an empress. She withdrew from the position of the empress, and it's been three months since she left Purtu."

Even at Lyrian's answer, Millenin Noka tilted her head as if not convinced.

“If so, the news would have been heard on Mach as well? Even though she's heard that she went to Sol Taro for recuperation, she's the first to hear that she's not the empress.”

Carloy intervened, unable to hide his annoyance.

"She was trying to make public announcements at the right time. When she returned to Croisen, she was going to do it officially."

She lost her wife, treating all those who had been nursed dead, and she was annoyed that she was the first to come and hear her when the new wife did what she did.

"So, isn't it officially saying that you're still empress?"

Both Carlos and Lyrian were silent. It was because I had nothing to say about it.

“Then there is no other option for Mach. She's the empress of Croixen in a bright color, and you can't get her to shoot anywhere while hiding her identity.”

"Anyway, I have a little bit to leave Mach..."

Millenin halted Lyrian and shook his hand.

“No, you know what will happen or what will happen? I'm already burdened with the fact that the Emperor of Croixen was hurt here. By the way, even the empress is wandering around my territory at will? That doesn't work.”

"You're the one who will leave anyway. Don't bother me, just let me go."

“Carloy, don’t say you don’t know. I'm not trying to harass in private right now. I'm doing what I need to do. When are you leaving? Are you leaving right now? I'm leaving right now in the boat I'm giving you. If yes, it’s okay.”

Lirian bit her mouth with her confused face. It was unreasonable to start right now, as the next destination was not properly decided yet. It would take more than three days to decide where to live in the future.

"But if you don't leave now, I have to give it to my eyes. If you're doing this because you don't want to use the same bedroom, don't worry about that part, and I'll give you the whole marina."

Milenin added with a slightly playful tone.

“But what, the relationship seems okay? I can't even believe that we'll split up. So, I can't just trust you and let me do what I want.”

Lirian eventually gave up convincing Mach's emperor and nodded her head. On the other hand, Carloi still seemed to be decent.

"As soon as I saw it, I knew it was the Empress and I wasn't enough to let it go, so I even played with my tastes, and now it's a big burden? I guess I was going to put a burden on me by having an accident, hiding my identity, and walking around?"

"Sorry, what do you think of it that way. I pretend I don't know because I think I want to cheat. I was thinking of telling me that I knew it at the right time. If you weren't hurt."

Millenin smiled with a picturesque, intentional smile.

“My servants will take care of the empress's luggage in Kiana's residence. We'll organize and guide you here, and let's talk about it once it's organized.”

When she finished speaking by herself, Milenin went out. After leaving only Karloi and Lyrian alone, after a moment of awkward silence, Karloi opened his mouth first.

"......I'm sorry. I didn't intend to deal with it late."

"I know. Dunya Gong also said that. It takes a little bit of time."

“I didn’t even plan on holding you like this...”

“You don’t have to be sorry because you’re hurt because of me.”

Carloy, who was touching her face with one hand, raised her head at the words. The resolute face looked at Lirian.

“I wasn't hurt because of you. Damn, no, it's because of Mach.”

Lyrian quit trying to say something more. Anyway, he was injured instead of himself. It was already the second time in the same place, and there was a lot to say, but the reaction of Kaheul Roy was obviously expected. Perhaps if Mille Lenin hadn't been in the middle, he would really have been mad at Karl Roy.

Suddenly, in Four Two, he remembered Karloi, who was angry at the slightest cut. Was it this way...

Once again, the attendant entered the silent bedroom, and said that Lirian's bedroom had been cleaned up.

“You must be tired, but go in and take a rest. I won't bother you to become Millenine.”

Carloy said without even looking at Lyrian. Lirian quietly nodded and left the bedroom.

As soon as Lyrian left, Carloy swept his face with a long sigh. At that time, I suddenly felt a person next to me. Asher was looking down at Karl Roy with a distant look.

“When on earth have you been here?”

“From the beginning. It was next to the closet.”

“A little pretend to be.”

Asher looked into the air, pretending not to hear it. It was a rough expectation. Perhaps Milenin was hiding because he was scared.

"But there is a huge coincidence. There is also an empress here."

“Maybe you didn't know? It's suspicious that you insisted that you would follow me.”

Karloi guessed that all of this would have been Duna's plan. Somehow, he said he wouldn't go with an excuse for his age, and he did something useless.

At Carloy's blame, Asher shook her head violently, making her face under the long-awaited innocence.

“I came along in fear of your real Majesty's dying.”

“I don’t have to.”

As Asher silently pointed to Karloi's back, he muttered, seemingly annoying.

“This is really nothing.”

“But why is she so cold to the empress? She likes to die.”

“......I have a pain in my back, so I need to rest.”

Seeing Karlroy avoiding the answer, Asher muttered with a grimy face.

“I am bored. There is nowhere to go out here.”

It seemed to be asking to play. Suddenly she felt like a childish widower.

"You know it's not fun if you're with me."

She quickly became quiet, as if Asher agreed that she wasn't wrong. Then she soon went out through the window.

At last, Karloy, who was alone, leaned on the bed and thought about Asher's words. She wasn't trying to treat Lyrian coldly. But she just couldn't get any closer.

When he held her hand in her Mach's garden, he felt as he hugged her in the Prellum arena. She wanted to leave her urge not to let go of it this way by her side. The impulse was so intense that she was so creepy.

She still feels paralyzed with the rest of her reason, but she wasn't confident to let her go if she could reach more from here.

***

Mary Ann and Jane hadn't arrived yet, so Lirian, sitting alone in an empty bedroom, woke up from her seat, amazed by the knocking on her window. Lyrian opened her window with her amazement as she saw Asher hanging from her window sill and knocking her window with her feet.

“What are you doing dangerously?”

Lirian shouted, forgetting that she hadn't seen it in a long time.

“Hi, Your Majesty.”

Asher, who said goodbye, came inside with her supple movements. She wondered for a moment whether she could put Asher in the bedroom like this, but Lyrian didn't say anything in the end. Her opponent was Asher. Anyway, common sense or knowledge of the world doesn't work.

“You also came. But how did she never see her face. Did you come to see the Prellum?"

When he heard the word Frelum, Asher's face turned white for a moment. Lirian sneaked off her chair without her knowing.

“I didn't go. Because at Mach she hates to get around.”

She remembered that Asher was a slave to Mach, and Lirian thought she was insensitive, and she became sorry.

One of her maids left behind and pushed her cookies in front of Asher, and Asher picked up one of her and began to chew on the poisonous poison. She was a snack that wasn't even tasted dirty, but Asher ate well. No matter how much she hated Mach, the person she was born and raised in Mach seemed right.

“I don’t want to come, are you here because of Carloy?”

“I’m afraid I’ll go alone and commit suicide again. You could fall into the sea on purpose.”

Even with Asher's peculiar tones, Lirian's heart sank.

“......I won't do that anymore. Carloy made an appointment with me.”

Asher shrugs her shoulder, putting another piece of her cookie in her mouth.

"That's something I can keep only when I'm fine."

In that word, Karloy's life in Purtu was clearly depicted. Did her promise to herself become a pain for Karloy? Lilian, who lost her moments to say, chose to turn her attention away.

"But you, Croisen has increased a lot."

At those words, Asher's face shone brightly with pride.

“Dunna teaches you.”

If Alexis dunya had taught properly, he would have also taught him to call him dunya gong, not dunya. But Lirian didn't say anything.

"Your Majesty doesn't deal with me these days. So, you have to stay with me, and it's boring."

"okay?"

“I want to go out here at Mach, but I hate it alone. But your majesty said he would be alone again.”

“Is it easy for Mach to be with Karlroy?”

Asher nodded with an expression asking for her something for granted.

“Then you can just stay inside. Look for something you don't like.”

“Just. I hate that I hate it. I hate to hate it forever. And I'm bored inside and die."

There were so many words of her dislike that Lirian had to think about what she meant for a while. Even though she thought about it, it didn't seem that she fully understood her inner meaning.

“That's why you came to me. Because Carloy didn't do anything about it.”

Asher nodded shamelessly. From that expression, I could see her strangely dissatisfied sign. It was clear that Lyrian did not meet Asher's expectations as much as she thought.

“......Eat more sweets.”

Asher eagerly ate the rest of the confectionery, as if he was loving. Lyrian looks at Asher like that. She was in thought. Carloi, who controls her thoughts and her mind, invades her mind and turns around at will.

Did it. She was now right next to her, so she couldn't stop it any more.

With her sighing, Lyrian asked Asher.

“Is it delicious?”

Instead of answering, Asher shook her empty plate. She really felt like raising a child.

***

Two days later, Emperor Mach invited both Karloi and Lirian to lunch. A meal was prepared in the restaurant at Marina Palace, saying that she would take care of Karlroy, who could not walk for a long time because of her back. All of her attendants and maids also withdrew, leaving only the least number of employees in the restaurant.

“Hey, I just have to tell you. If I knew it was your wife, I wouldn't have said anything."

Blaze whispered Carloy into her ear, but Carloi, as always, just gave her a scornful gaze.

Lyrian, sitting next to Karloy, was looking at her food with a slightly hoarded face. She wouldn't know if she was someone else, but she wouldn't look like she ate Maha food and ate garbage in front of the Emperor of Maha. Her mind needed preparation.

“You can’t eat peaches?”

Millenin asked as he picked up the tableware. Lyrian stared at Mill Lenin in amazement, while Carloi stared at her Mill Lenin. And Milenin lightly ignored the two gazes.

“How hassle Carloy has been to the chef from the morning. Not just for lunch, but for all future foods, take all peaches. It’s obvious that he says he doesn’t like to eat it, well.”

“.....I'm right because I don't like to eat it. Maha doesn't even taste dirty peach.”

It was a cruel evaluation that even Lirian, who hated Mach, would think it was a bit severe. Milenin seemed inaudible, ignored, but Blaze raised his voice because of a rash.

“I guess who's the tricky Croisen. Eat whatever you give.”

Lyrian took a bite of the food that was in front of her. To her surprise, she wasn't worse than she thought. No matter how bad the food was, the imperial palace's cuisine seemed to be different.

As she ate half blankly, Lirian thought about peaches. In Purtu, even he didn't know about Karloi, and when he looked at the peaches, he thought of Carloi at that time, or the Duke of Delua. He wasn't pleasant either way.

But now I thought I would remember today at Mach. I even thought it wouldn't be bad. Covering memories with memories.

"And the last time I talked about the object of the conquest."

"Carloy, talk about work during a meal."

“Now the story ends. It's not a big story, but I was injured when I screamed at the party or the Frelum for formality.”

"It's true, so I don't have anything to say, but do I have to do it during a meal?"

“Because I want to float Mach as soon as possible. Anyway, Croixen has no intention of trading new stuff with Mach."

Looking at Karlroy, who spoke strong dislikes in a dry tone, Lirian guessed it might be because of himself. Carloy thinks that Li Lian is being held by Mach because of me.

Millenin said softly without stopping moving the dishes.

"Well, don't look at the stuff and think about it. It's okay."

“I've been thinking of something more interesting than that. Are you serious about Bernie?"

When the words of Bernie came out, Millenin turned into a face serious enough to stop eating.

"Think of Bernie's magic. Bernie's magic as we know it is not a peninsula. While you are isolated in the valley, you don't know what else to create, and you're not interested in conquering such a country? .”

"Why not?"

“The North Sea on the Vernis side is difficult with my magic, and the inland road is rough. Unless you are giving way at Croisen......”

“The land is also a problem.”

“That's right, because it's a barren thing. Useless. With the development of the Vernis magic, the yield from cultivation is insignificant.”

“Recently, Croixen developed a cultivation magic.”

"Oh my gosh. How long are you going to grow only ornamental plants? I thought it well.”

“When I tried it, the result wasn't bad, and of course, it needs a little more supplementation to work in the Bernie land, but the magicians said it would be possible.”

“Ah, I know what to say.”

Millenin and Carloi talked a lot seriously, even eating a meal. Most of the conversation seemed to flow in peace, except when Carloy was bored and Milenin's smile was distorted by mentioning the wound on his back.

Looking at it, Lyrian thought that Asher's words were a lie. Like that, Karloy looked fine again. He didn't look like he was going to go and die.

Lirian recalled a conversation she had with Mary Ann before she came for lunch. She thought it would be nice to go to Sol Tao if she left Mach. Solta was a place where I could love comfortably.

She had a hard time finding her home on her own, so she was thinking of asking Olivia Donata to find a suitable place. Mary Ann looked strange as she handed over her letter to Olivia to her Mary Ann.

<Did you decide to go to Solta?>

As if Lirian had other options.

Blaze spoke to her when she saw Lirian in her thoughts.

“Isn’t there any fun?”

Lirian, who was listening to the conversation interestingly when it was difficult to understand because the Maha language was mixed in between, was not easily affirmed and showed an awkward expression.

“If I had known you were the Empress, I would have treated you that way! I want to show you Mach properly."

"Oh, that's okay. I've already seen various places."

“Ah, how wide is the Maha land mass. I know exactly where the Croisens will love. The Maha are a little bored, but if you go to the Mahitian observatory.....”

Not talking to her, she bite her mouth with her face saying Blaze was suddenly bored. Lyrian slowly followed Blaze's gaze and turned her head. Carloy, who thought she was talking to Mill Lenin, was staring at Blaze. Still.

"He said he wouldn't have spoken."

A blunt word flowed out of Carloy's mouth without any change in her expression. It was an outrageous word that Lirian would not understand, but Blaze was surprised to see if she understood it.

"I don't walk, I won't hang, I'm going to divorce soon,"

Blaze's last words were almost self-talk. As Blaze shut her mouth and began to concentrate on her meals, Carloi again began to talk with Millenin.

As her burdensome Grand Duke fell away, Lirian was able to finish the meal more comfortably than before. Ka She didn't talk to Lyrian until the end of Leroy.

That night, Lirian had a nightmare after a long time. It was his first nightmare when he came to Mach. Duke Delua came out and made a terrible sound. Lirian said to the Duke of Delua.

That said, you're dead, there's nothing you can do to me anymore because you're dead, and that I'm alive, and the peacock who never died no matter how much you killed in a dream disappeared like smoke.

Lirian, gasping his breath, woke up, trembling and looking around the dark bedroom. There was no peacock anywhere. All I see is Denise's painting.

Lirian knew better than anyone else that the nightmare wasn't gone forever. If you forget, you will come back to life. But now Lirian was able to distinguish between dreams and reality.

Lirian recounted to himself, taking his wild breath. I am breathing hard like this, and it will rot without a small trace of the ball.

***

The next evening, a shower came. Short and thick showers matched with Mach. It was rain that I saw after a long time. Even if it wasn't, the moist Mach air felt more sticky.

Lilian wore light clothes and went out to the garden. It felt like water was seeping into each of her steps, but the touch wasn't bad. Water droplets shone transparently on the water-soaked flowers.

Strangely, the gardens of the Maha Palace looked like Purtu. La Sorthio didn't. That's why Purtu's memories were revived very easily. However, it wasn't that terrible feeling like before. It's just bitter.
The dancing turang flowers were moving slowly because they were eating water. It looked cute for some reason, and Lilian sat down with his knees bent in front of him, looking at the flowers for a long time. One was almost as if it had been wiped out by the rain and was almost buried in the ground. With a sorrowful heart, Lirian picked up the one without me knowing.

As I stretched my back with a bunch of turans, I saw a building that looked like a small chapel a little further away. In front of him were busts made of water and a fountain surrounding them. It looked different because it was different from Purtu.

As I approached, I saw a man sitting there. It was Carlos. Sitting expressionlessly, he looked like a person who would disappear when he closed his eyes and opened it. It's like Karloy's medicine. Asher's words came to mind. I don't know if his spirit remains.

Lirian walked toward Carloi without knowing, in a feeling that his heart was convinced not to match the humid weather.

The expression gradually entered into the face of Karloi, who found Lyrian. As if dyed with color, expressions that would have been dark and sad if it were really color passed over his face.

He tried to get out of his seat, as if trying to get out of the way. Lyrian shook his head.

"I just stay. Is it okay to come out like this?"

"It's not a serious wound, so this is okay."

It seemed like he was seriously hurt just by talking to Mill Lenin, but he couldn't figure out what to believe. Lirian hesitated and sat next to him, a little separated from Karloi.

“I was sitting like that because I was thinking.”

Lirian's voice was calm enough to seep through the air.

I had no idea.”

"okay? I was thinking of Purtu....... This place is like Purtu's garden.”

Carlos was silent for a moment. Lyrian, Karl Roy, was also sitting here, thinking about the past. He could see.

After some time, Carloy opened his mouth. It was a quiet voice.

“Because it is modeled after Purtu’s garden. Probably the only place in this palace worth seeing."

"It could be said that it is not the palace, but the whole Mach..."

Lyrian's answer went up very slightly, as if the tail of Carloy's mouth could be seen.

“The Grand Duke talked about the Mahit Observation Deck, but I think it’s not good for some reason.”

“That's the bird, no, the Grand Duke is right. It's not bad there.”

It seemed to be a pretty good place, as far as Carloy admits. Lirian muttered to herself, thinking that she had to go before leaving.

"Solta wasn't like this."

"....You liked Solta."

Lirian nodded quietly.

"I really like it. Did you not like it?"

Not sure that Lyrian was going to ask, Karl Roy flinched for a moment.

"I don't know. I've never thought about it."

"Do you want to go?"

"I do not know. I haven't really thought about it either.”

“Then what the hell are you thinking?”

Instead of answering, Carloy stares at Lyrian. I saw.

"......Yeah."

Somehow I felt like I heard the answer. And the answer wasn't surprising anymore. Lirian told her story because it was obvious that the man sitting next to him was going to do it.

“People did that when I first went to Purtu. You say you hate rain......"

Carloy only listened without answer.

"So I thought you forgot me. I started to like rainy days after I met you. I thought of you on that day. I got sick of it in Purtu."

“I didn't hate it.”

Murmured Karloy.

“I just... I couldn't stand it. Because I left you that day.”

His voice was as humid as the air around him.

"I'm left with it."

"anyway."

Carloy paused for a moment without talking. Like taking a breath.

“The fact that I didn't keep my promises doesn't change. The fact that I ruined your life."

It rained frequently in Croisen. Too often. And when it rained, Karloy would have thought that way.

Carloi looked at the turang flower that Lyrian held in his hand.

“When I saw Turang in the Entoura Room, I thought I was like you. If you dance, it seems like that for some reason. ...... and then I think that lifting the Cubs seemed crazy. "

He looked somewhat stupid.

“And when I saw you in the Arva Loop, I knew I was half way wrong. Because you were so pretty that you couldn't even compare to Turang...”

Lilian also remembered the dance he danced with. Every single gesture, even the heat that I touched at that time.

"But if you're next to me... No, I always seem to break you."

His gaze did not leave Turang, which had been drenched in water and withered tacky.

Li Lian paused for a moment at the feelings that were deeply buried in each word. He felt sorrowed to the depths of his heart.

Was his own life really ruined? Was he ruined himself? Maybe so. But Lirian thought. She's getting better, because he's trying to make sure no one can break her anymore.

“Is it because of me that I was injured with Carl, you, etc?”

After a while, Lirian asked. Karloy crumpled the impression.

"What are you talking about. No."

“Then, is it because of Veluamar? I was hurt by that tail.”

"It's because of Mach."

Lyrian looked at Karloy.

"okay. I don't think you're hurt because of me.”

Carloy, who understood what Lyrian was trying to say, hardened his face.

"It's different from that."

"The wound on the back will heal soon."

And there will come a day when Lirian herself will become completely okay someday. Scars remain, but many people live with scars. He couldn't find a reason to live, but now he hasn't even found a reason to die.

Lyrian rubbed his neck hook, now completely habitual. Denise died before Jane's letter reached him. I was able to accept it myself, only this time. No matter what her Lyrian did her, no matter what her did, she couldn't bring her back.

"Because the wound on the back is visible, I can even treat it."

Carloy murmured quietly. At the same time, thick raindrops suddenly fell on him. As Lirian and Karloi looked up at the same time, a few more drops began to fall from the sky.

“It looks like a shower will come again.”

As her Lyrian mumbled over her, Karloy suddenly grabbed her hand and led her.

"You shouldn't be in the rain."

Carlo, who has a wound on his back, shouldn't be beaten. Lyrian thought about it and followed her Carloy's hand.

The amount of rain falling was increasing. At the same time as Carlos and Lirian entered under the roof of the chapel in front of them, countless rains poured down. Soon my vision was blurred, and the unstoppable sound of rain rang in the space.

Without a word, Carlos wiped the water off Lyrian's body. His hair was biting, so it flickered.

Watching the pouring rain, Lirian realized something new. I didn't like rain anymore, and it wasn't good. Rain was just rain.

"Let's go in. It gets cold soon."

Karloi, who opened Lirian's clothes, whispered, a man stuck in the past when it was still raining.

"It's so hot, but it doesn't get cold because it rains..."

"still."

Lirian put her turang finely in her arms.

There was a time I wished he was in pain. I felt like I was going to die, it was unfortunate that I was so unhappy that I was alone, and I was just as resentful as I gave him my heart.

As if her wish had come true, he lived in a rainy place where there was no sunlight throughout his short life, and so it is now. He wasn't satisfied with it at all.

This rain would have ceased someday, over time. Like all rain. Can the rain that falls on Karloy's heart stop? How long does it take to be possible? Lirian wasn't sure.

***

Carloi didn't seem to want to meet Lirian if he wasn't the case that it should be. I even ate in the bedroom on the excuse of having a bad back.

Not only Lirian, but also Asher's coming to play more and more to see if he doesn't deal well with other people. Mary Ann was disgusted at first, then she saw Asher freely entering the bedroom, and she gave food to her casually. It looked exactly like an animal raised in a bedroom.

"It's really delicious? Or are you just hungry all day?"

She saw Asher eating as she gave, and she asked, as if she was sincerely curious about Jane.

"It's delicious."

Asher replied, clearing her empty plate.

“Try this too. Is this also delicious?"

Jane arranged her Mach's food as if doing her experiment, and she was feeding Asher one by one.

“Croisen food is fresh.”

Asher muttered as he welled. Somehow, I couldn't see what I was eating in Croisen, and it seemed that it wasn't my taste. As soon as she came to Mach, Asher's amount to eat increased dramatically. As Lirian paints her pictures, she often glances at them. Drawing the garden of Purtu, where it rains in the memory.

When Emperor Mach stopped by Lirian's bedroom, he looked at de Nice's paintings and brought her tools so that he was able to draw quite comfortably. Although it was watercolor instead of oil painting.

<You have a special hobby. Directly drawing everything>

Mill Lenin Noka said her words, but her eyes twinkled.

As she watched for a few days, Mill Lenin was a bit tired because she was so self-contained, but it was easier to deal with than the first time. Her attitude toward Lyrian was soft, strangely, where she heard Lirian's circumstances.

She came out of the blue and used to show some simple magic with her hands while Lilian was drawing her, or tell the story of Carloi from her childhood, which was also fun, so Lilian was greeted later, too. .

Compared to Keana, who shows passionate and diverse reactions with all the power of the audience, the audience watching the play, Lirian's reaction was not so boring, but Mill Lenin didn't seem to care.

Rather, she felt that she had a strange desire to fight, and she didn't match, and she would show more magical magic or talk more provocatively in order to elicit her reaction from Lyrian. She was a very subtle and funny person.

She sometimes couldn't believe that her foolish, playful person like this killed three or three of her husbands directly. Mill Lenin never did that much in detail.

Of course, even when he got used to all this, he didn't get very fond of the country of Maharan. It was still a strange country.

“After that, I heard that the Mahit Observation Deck is very good, but it would be nice to stop by at least once before leaving. I want to go to a nice place at least once in Mach.”

Lirian's words responded quickly to Asel, who was eating with her head down.

“I know there, can’t I go now?”

"Huh? You said you hate going outside anyway."

"I'm tired of being only inside every day."

If there was anything, how long...

Contrary to Lirian's gloomy reaction, Jane struck her. She got along pretty well with Jane Asher.

"Yes. I have nothing to do, but mom and mom go with me. I came to Mach, but it’s a waste of time.”

Mary Ann shook her head weakly.

“Don’t be scary. I don't wanna go through this terrible place anymore. Whether it's Mahit or Mahir, I wouldn't go there even if there was a road to Lupus.”

Seeing her two faces quickly faded, Lirian eventually let her brush go.

Mary Ann arose from her seat with her solemn face as she decided that Lyrian would go. She seemed to think that Lirian had to follow where she was going.

“Maryanne, stay here and relax.”

"No."

“It’s okay because I have Jane. I feel comfortable for you to rest.”

Mary Ann did not refuse twice. She sincerely made it clear that she hated Mach.

“Then, give it to Millenin instead. He said he'd only see Mahit for a moment, and don't worry because Asher is going with him.”

Mary Ann nodded with her more relaxed face.

“Asher, are you really okay?”

“It should be okay.”

Asher rarely answered with a determined face. She looked like a boy soldier for the first time in a war.

With one escort who was determined to be treasured and a maid who was intimidated, Lilian changed into simple clothes and went on the road.

She regretted that Lirian, who came out without thinking, didn't cover her face properly. The outright gaze of the Maha people reached without boredom. She may not understand, but she often had people yelling at something in Maha.

Jane, who collapsed at the gaze of the large Maha people, tapped Asher ahead.

"How much longer do I have to go? I think the Maha people are so scared."

"I'm almost there."

Asher was looking forward unnaturally, but overall she was doing well. She was sweating from his face, but it didn't seem to be flowing because it was hot. Walking on the streets of Mach seemed to be a difficult task for Asher to the extent that a cold sweat was flowing. She was very brave. Saesam Liri felt he was envious and great.

Shortly after arriving at the entrance of the observation deck, Asher took his breath with a proud expression. It was true that it was not very popular with the Maha people, but there were not many people.

When I went up to the observation deck with Asher, I saw the blue bar for the first time. Lirian briefly lost her words and looked at the scenery.

The observatory itself wasn't much. It wasn't properly decorated, it looked like a neglected place. There was not much to see than the sea, but rather, because of that, the nature it showed was brighter and she was able to focus solely on the landscape.

The sea was so wide that the end could not be seen. It felt like I was out of breath. The sea breeze ran over the tip of my nose, but the disgusting energy did not rise as before.

“There was about one thing to see at Mach.”

Lilian nodded at the words Jane smiled and said.

“I think you did well to come.”

Lilian took everything in his eyes, recalling Denise, who had never seen the sea in his life.

“Now let's go down.”

I stare at the blue of the sea so much that I get bored for a long time Lyrian, who had seen it, turned around without regret only after the sunset went down.

Asher sat on the floor all the way to see if there wasn't much inspiration for the scenery, and then stood up at Lirian's words.

There was still a little tense.

“If you go safely to the palace, you will achieve today’s goal as well.”

At Lyrian's words, Asher nodded with a half hoarding, half-hearted face.

It felt much easier on the way down because of Asher's speed. He came out after a long time, so it felt rewarding for some reason. Until he descends the observation tower and leaves the entrance. His mood continued. It was on the way to the city center that the problem occurred.

"Hmm? Isn't it strangely noisy? I guess what's going on."

As soon as Jane finished speaking, the cause of the turmoil appeared before her eyes.

In the middle of the street, I saw middle-aged men with harsh impressions assaulting a slave. Rough Maha was flowing from the men, and there was a slave crying with random feet on his feet. No one stopped it, but rather, many Maha were laughing or encouraging it.

At the unpleasant sight, Lirian and Jane stopped and frowned without my knowledge. Lilian's face was more and more distorted because it wasn't like a man's work

It wasn't dried, it was just that, and it was a shape that could counteract the planting of the Maha people. Even if it wasn't, the glaring glaring at the conspicuous Croisen woman was tough. It was obvious that the words that came out were swearing.

"Asher."

Lirian turned to her side, calling Asher unintentionally, and bent her knees in amazement. She was trembling with Asher sitting on her floor with her hair wrapped around her.

“Asher, are you okay?”

When Jane put her hand on her shoulder, she struck it like Asher had her seizure.

Lirian quietly grabbed Jane as she began to move her body, not just staring at the Mahaians.

“Jane, run to the palace right now. ASAP. Call people.”

Jane didn't ask twice. Her agile handmaid quickly disappeared among her people.

Lirian blamed her own complacency. She looked too shallow for Asher's pain. Even though she knew better than anyone that such pain in her couldn't easily be all right,

"Asher."

She sat next to Asher and whispered, but Asher continued to tremble her body. Now the Maha were almost approaching and waving their fists threateningly.

Often the word'slave' was heard. Every time he heard the word, Asher's body shrunk. He looked similar to himself, who had suffered from the former Duke of Delua.

“Asher, you are not a slave. No one can do what you want.”

It was questionable if she could be heard, but she had nothing else to do, so Lirian constantly spoke to Asher for her.

“It's over here, Asher. Then you beat Mach.”

Asher seemed to pause for a moment, but she didn't last long. He was now making a groaning sound.

The Maha were getting more angry with Lyrian, who ignored them, and now they were really approaching the momentum to get their hands on their bodies. Lirian whispered in desperation.

"Asher, hold on a little. Huh? In a little while, Carlo Lee will come."

It was said without great expectation, but Asher suddenly stopped shaking.

“Asher?”

But that was it. Asher was just stiff now without even a fine move.

A Mahain kicked Asher and struck Lirian's forehead. Lyrian nervously struck the hand out, but the Maha only giggled and laughed. Even with such short and simple movements, a person could feel so dirty.

At the moment when Lirian was worried about whether he had to bite at least one of them dead, the Maha whispered to each other and approached Lilian's sides. He was poised to drag him by force.

Lee whispered and came to both sides of Lyrian. He was poised to drag him by force.

It was when a hand touched Lirian's collar as if it were rubbing against him. Suddenly, the sound of a knife pulling was heard, and Mahain, who had touched Lirian, screamed and fell away.

Suddenly Asher stood in front of Lyrian with bloody eyes pulling out his sword. Lyrian sat down, blankly looking up at Asher.

“Asher?”

Asher was staring at the Maha only as if he couldn't hear him or kill him.

As soon as the knife came out, the situation was so easy to get rid of. No one would be able to ignore the life emanating from Asher. Since then, he really looked like a warrior, not a slave.

I was worried that Asher would cut down all the Maha on the spot, but that didn't happen. Ririan could guess the reason after getting out of the way.

"OK......?"

It was because Asher fell as soon as he came to an empty place. He must have used all his strength just by standing with a sword. Asher couldn't answer, and he collapsed and breathed hard. Lyrian patted him carefully.

"Good job. It's all over now."

I only looked like a child every day, and it was salty to see this kind of appearance.

As time passed and Asher seemed a little calm, Lirian raised him up and leaned on her.

"But it happens on its own, it's amazing."

"If you get hurt..."

Lyrian's words opened her mouth for the first time. It was a hoarse voice.

"Your Majesty will be struggling."

At Asher's reply, Lyrian lost her words and focused only on walking. What kind of duck does it react to Karlroy like that? When I checked with my own eyes that the Maha were dealing with slaves, it wasn't surprising what kind of feelings it would be for Karlois who saved him, but it wasn't surprising.

“.....Carloy really has to take responsibility for you.”

Lirian muttered involuntarily and suddenly thought that Carloy was similar to this figure.

By the time I arrived at Marina Palace, Asher was still feeling better, so I could walk well with only his arms folded.

As soon as they entered the city gate, the soldiers and the servants trembling, taking Lirian and Asher inside. As soon as she found Lirian, Milenin, who was walking around with an impatient face in front of the Marina Palace, walked with strides.

"That's why I told you to stay here. If you shoot at will, things will happen."

The face seemed to be angry, but unexpectedly, Mill Lenin's speech was calm.

“It's all my responsibility. In the yard where none of Carloy can handle it......”

Mary Ann ran from behind with a tearful wind. Jane followed Mary Anne with her handkerchief.

“I knew it would be okay to have Asher...”

Milenin's gaze touched Asher for a while at the murmurs that seemed to be Lyrian's excuse.

“A escort who can't even look in my eyes? Shit."

“Don’t do that too much. It must have been very difficult today.”

Mill Lenin sighed and swept his head.

“I'm glad I came back without any problem, but I'll find you. The late Carlos ran out on his horse.”

This time, Lirian shouted.

"I beg your pardon? I'm not good at it, but I even ride a horse? I should have dried it!”

“The couple makes the same sound in pairs. If you know so well, you shouldn't go around randomly in the first place. How do you tell me to stop going out on your own? I'll be satisfied if I remove a body and send an apology to Croisen.”

Milenin, who was forced to remain calm, looked really angry now.

“If I invite your couple to Mach again, I really do...”

But he didn't finish talking. In the meantime, it seemed like I wanted to invite again.

"......Anyway. I sent someone, so I'll be back soon.”

Milenin, taking a deep breath, as if trying to relieve his anger, said in a low voice.

“It’s like you’re waiting for Karloi, and you can’t stand outside. I’ll allow you to the garden. I really don't want to take any more risks."

However, contrary to Millenin's words, Carloy did not return to the Marina until sunset. Lirian wandered all the way in the entrance garden and waited for Carlo. If you really have any problem...

By the time my anxiety reached its peak, I heard the sound of horses running. Even though the road to the inside of the garden was not a path for horses to run, Lilian turned back, amazed by the sound he heard. As he throws his horse away, he sees Karloy standing and lowering.

Before Lyrian even called the name, Carloy ran a step forward. As soon as I saw Lyrian, I saw a sense of relief on his face.

With a face that seemed to be angry at any moment, Carloy hugged Lyrian firmly without a word. I avoided Lyrian like that, and it closed the gap at once, unsurprisingly.

"you really......"

The sound of his breathing, that breath irritated my ears. The voice made me guess how fast he was running.

“I know what really happened to you because you weren't there.”

The harsh voice trembled terribly.

"All I know a bastard, bully beats Hill pilyon this way."

I had to say something, but my mouth didn't fall.

Carloy, who took her breath away while holding her Lilian for a while, slowly pulled her out of her arms with a face that seemed to be doing some of the hardest things in the world.

Lyrian again opened his mouth as he watched Karloy move away.

“...... What if you go around like that. Did you have any thoughts?"

As I was speaking, my emotions suddenly became overwhelming and the sound went up. It was an emotion that he did not know what he was.

“It didn’t have to be you. It was okay for other people to come, but with that body, you."

“I wish that was what I wanted!”

As if Lyrian stopped speaking, Karloy shouted like an explosion.

“If that was my way, I didn't even love you in the first place.”

It was a confession that broke out because of being unable to overcome himself and being unable to endure it, as if the thing that had been blocked with all his strength finally bursts.

Carloi's face grew pale, realizing what he was saying. His head was nervously matted, and Karloy muttered insults to the point that Lyrian couldn't hear him.

"...... Forget it. I couldn't say it.”

Lyrian stiffened on the spot, as if being hit by a thunderbolt.

The word was spoken between the two who thought that there was no possibility left, and that the only thing left was regret, regret, and a feeling of overwhelming responsibility or guilt. He said it was love, not hatred, regret, guilt, nothing else, that made him more like an invoice.

"What can't be done at will."

Lirian's voice trembled without reason.

"I can't say that. I used to deny it well, but I did it again and again, but now why not!"

Now, I felt like I would go crazy because I hated him who puts it in his mouth. If I could, I felt like I wanted to hold onto the skin or slap it on the cheek. But at the same time, it was so sad that I couldn't touch it, and I also wanted to hug it. It's crazy.

“Why can't you get better. I even said it wasn't your fault! How long until I said that... What kind of mind did I say that. But you keep going.”

His throat was blocked. When he was free from pain, he thought he would feel at ease. He thought that if he did so, he would wipe out his heart that was heavy as if he was drinking water, and his lingering regrets such as the coarse sand piled up in his heart. I'm not going to look back because of Carloy anymore.

However, the moment Carloy burst into what he had been blocking all the time, Lirian also felt a fear that it might not be true.

"It's never been my way. I'm talking about you"

As if Karloy had endured something, he clenched his teeth. Without seeing Lyrian, Carloi continued his words in a repressed voice.

"So leave quickly, so I can't see you."

While looking blankly at Carloy's face turning white, Lirian looked at his back. There was blood on my clothes to see if the wound was open.

"you......."

My body trembled with anger.

“What are you going to do if you leave? Are you going to die doing something like this?"

“You said you would keep your promise.”

“Is there no reason to live other than that? So, like a body, like this!”

Lyrian screamed angry and struck his chest. It's always been this way with Karlois. Emotion was not the subject. I felt sick of all this process of getting angry, crying, and shouting, but I couldn't help it.

The thought of having to go treat the wounds of a bad motherfucker, I'd rather just heard that the wound burst burst where both motivation and at the same time I think it is better to die deunga discard.

"Then I asked what about watching! Presuming even impossible to even hold onto you? Rob crazy chicks is going to shamelessly hold your ankles do I? Can not even put away the store, so in next to me, to live the rate of snappy like me?"

Carloy grabbed Lyrian's wrist and spoke violently like a madman.

“Do you know what you think of every time I see you?”

It was dangerous. Carlois, who pours everything out like this, is overly violent, and the wrists in contact with him are hot enough to feel soft.

"I want to hang like a dog dozens of times a day under your feet. Please stay by my side, or please let me die, hundreds of times since I met you again!"

Lyrian listened to the sound of Carloy's vomiting. He wasn't just sorry for himself.

"If you're crazy like this, it's going to get you upset because it's going to catch you and tie it to your side."

Carloy wanted to be with herself. Not because I'm sorry, not to repay my sins, but because I just want to.

“By the way, I can't do that. I always remember the things I did to you every day. I'm going, damn it.”

Even the swearing he uttered constantly, as if made up of emotions, was sulky. All of those words stuck to Lyrian's mind so obsessively.

“Even me remembers this vividly, and then you only say to die next to me, that's it.”

Ah. Lirian exclaimed a blocked groan. Carloy makes her hold him in her heart, and makes him sway around. Therefore, of course, I hated Karloi just that much.

At that moment she finally understood. Why do I try to forgive him, not to hate him. Why are you using all your strength?

<Even the moment I thought I hated you the most, I couldn't help but care about you.>

<Even the moment I believed that I hated you...I couldn't help but think of you.>

It was only from that moment that I fully understood what Karloy said that he had to pay attention to even the moment he hated. To the extent that she cannot understand more fully than that,

Lirian's hand was released while Carloy was holding it.

“So please, leave right now. To a place that can't even reach my eyes.”

Now I know how hell her heart must have been, how terrible it was. Hating him was terribly hard, so it was tormenting Lirian and himself.

“Look. I just make you cry. If you're by my side, always, like that.”

Karloi wiped Lyrian's tears with a crumbling face. Lyrian grabbed and dragged his hand as if trembling on my face.

“Go in once. Treat it first."

Carloy quickly became a foolish face and was dragged into the hands of Lyrian. I didn't seem to understand what was going on.

“You can call a therapist. You'll care..."

“If I hate crying so much, be quiet.”

Carloi bit his mouth like a lie. He had a complicated face until he got to the bedroom and sat down on the bed, but he didn't open his mouth as much.

"Roll your back."

He didn't even move.

“Don’t let me say it twice. I know you're hurt anyway.”

With a reluctant face, Karloi slowly took off the top. A fever rose on his bare body, but as soon as he saw the scar on his back, it disappeared without a trace, and instead his heart became cold. There was a scar on the stiff wound that was open and bleeding. The scar that Lirian also knows.

“......Where are the medicines.”

The attendants would have applied it every few hours, so it would be somewhere nearby.

"It would be better to just call a therapist."

“I'm going to sing. Tell me where the medicine is."

As Carloy shuts his mouth, Lirian sighs and begins to open the drawers in his bedroom at will.

When I tried to open the bottom drawer of the cabinet next to the bed, Carloy's hand suddenly reached.

"I don't have to."

Carloy stood up and was behind. Feeling his bare chest touching his back, Lirian paused his hand as he had opened the drawer. As Carloi's hand wrapped around my hand became more energized, Lirian just opened the drawer as it was.

“......That's why you stopped it? Are you trying to make me not see this?”

The drawer was full of vials. His sigh as Carloy exhaled touched the nape of his neck.

"There's nothing good to know. I hate that you care."

Carloy sat back on the bed and swept his face.

"You're worried about doing this it is to live foal as chakhaeseo or needlessly stars ahnindedo it."

Does Karloy think that Lyrian is kind and worried about him? He has never heard of being kind by anyone in his life.

dummy. Lyrian swallowed the curse and took out the medicine that looked like ointment from the drawer.

“Look at the lighthouse.”

Carloy gave up on his back with the face that he had given up. I felt Lyrian slowly applying the medicine. What feels more vivid than the pain in the back is Lirian's touch with the use of his flesh, her hand stopping and barely moving again after applying it, and trembling fingers...

At the moment, the mean thought of wanting to take advantage of Lyrian's warmth, hesitation, and trembling, that is, her complex sympathy, bothered Karloy. Then the familiar self-loathing.

I heard Lirian putting the ointment next to her whether it was done. Then tuk. Carloi held her breath for a moment, feeling her head touching her on his back.

"knife..."

A light breath touched my flesh. Carloy couldn't figure out. How such a thin voice, that one voice can cut his heart in tens of thousands of ways.

“It was the Duke of Delua. I'm going to make you crazy....... Because of me, you're going to go crazy in the end.”

The bastard had wanted was to sound like one type is also true. Carloy clenched only the innocent one. His trembling hands touched his waist, making it difficult for him to breathe.

“It's not about you.”

“Don't let it go the way it says. Nothing of that human being, nothing should be done... because it will disappear completely.”

I felt moisture in my gear nose and so on. Carloy sat still, and after a while, grabbed his hands, which remained only on his waist, and wrapped them around. Though I thought it shouldn't be so easily reached..... he couldn't help it.

“When, I will leave.”

Lirian had no answer. Carloy became increasingly scared.

If you say you are leaving, will you be able to let go of these two hands now? He has already reached it like this, and he can let it go. He wasn't confident.

No, I couldn't. It was crazy that she kept trying to let her go, and she kept telling me to leave.

“Lian.......”

"Huh."

"I know I'm a son of a bitch to you."

“It’s not like that.”

"No...?"

"I don't know..... it seems to be right."

“If you are a bad bastard anyway whatever you do, please take responsibility for me.”

He swept his lips in her hand as if wishing.

“I can't. I can't do it anymore. I can't let go.......”

As if to prove the words, his hand fell into his hands.

“Can't you take all my life? All."

It meant nothing without Lyrian. It was better to live as a bad guy because I lived without anything, nothing, or meaning.

For a while, Lirian had no answer. In every moment of her stillness, Carloy's chest fell endlessly. She nevertheless couldn't let her go.

“.....That's something good, I got it.”

Lirian's answer that came a long time later was not wrong. All he will give her is my life like this old and torn, her life.......

"I won't ask for much... Please let me be next to you."

I wasn't ashamed to cling to her sympathy anymore.

“I will not hurt you. So that it doesn't ring... I do something somehow.”

“Okay.”

It was the answer I had hoped for, but it was hard to believe when I finally heard it. Carloy stopped clinging to Lyrian's hand and stiffened her body because she was suspicious of her ears.

“Okay.”

Lyrian even gave the unbelievable answer one more time. Mercifully.

Every time she said her, her breath tickled his bare skin. Carloy, who was sitting blankly for a while holding Lirian's hand, slowly turned back. Li Lian looked up at Karloy and immediately lowered his gaze.

“I'm tired of thinking of you. I'd rather think less if you keep seeing it."

Carloy didn't fully understand Lyrian's self-talk, but one did. The reason why he clung to stay and the reason she decided to stay are not the same, not only the reason, but her feelings will not be the same. She felt her fear and anxiety at the fact, while at the same time feeling her shameless relief.

He hung like a hungry beast, rubbing his face on shoulders much smaller than him.

“I can’t help it. I know nothing but you. I don't want to know."

“You really are…”

Lirian sighed.

“The world is wide. I didn't know... If you see something like that, if you know it."

Karloy raised her head.

“I don't know that. I'm not doing this because I don't know what to do.”

Her eyes, staring at Lirian, were dark.

“Neither the most spectacular, nor the beautiful places, no matter what you see, no matter where you go, there is no meaning.”

Unlike Lyrian's almost all his life at Del Lua, Carlois was an imperial family, so his experience was broad.

“It doesn't make sense. really."

“It wasn't that great that I saved you……everyone would have done that.”

A hearty laughter flowed out of Carloy's mouth. Perhaps Lyrian will never understand. He silently put her face on her shoulder again. Somehow I couldn't believe it. Even though it touches like this, Lirian doesn't reject it.

“......Your face is hot. I think I have a fever.”

Lyrian's touch on his forehead was good, so he closed his eyes.

“I am not sick, but I have a fever. It must be because I like it so much.”

Lirian became quiet for a moment, as if she had lost her words.

“......Do not make any nonsense and go to bed. I get a fever because I roll my body like that."

"Hate."

Carloy used her large body to wrap her around. Without a gap. Lyrian's words were buried in his bare skin and shattered.

“You don’t have to sleep.”

“I’m choking…”

Only then did a small gap arise. His whole body was so hot that Lirian's face also had a fever.

“You don't run away while you're sleeping. So sleep a little.”

At those words, Carloy briefly relaxed her body and looked down at Lyrian in her arms. I felt like I had caught her inside, and there was a lot of tension in her body. Lilian quietly added her words as if she felt it with her body that touched her.

“I have never failed to keep my promise with you.”

It was plain speech, as if there was no intention of criticism, but even after hearing that, Carloy could not disobey Lyrian's words. He reluctantly lie down and still stared at Lyrian.

“Is there really any injuries?”

“Please worry about you first. Because I didn't do anything.”

It was only after hearing that the tension in Karloi's body was relieved a little.

He was looking at Lirian for some time. As his consciousness was blurred, Lyrian's voice ran into his ears.

"Hey. When I thought I betrayed you... what did you think?"

Lilian's expression was dimmed in his eyes closed. Karloy muttered in sleep.

"I want to trick you..."

Eyes closed.

"I was hoping that there would be only one excuse to be deceived....."

After a long time, sleep came to him. He fell into helplessness.

***

Mach's therapist looked at Carloy's back asleep and healed him, then kicked his tongue. When Lyrian didn't understand what he muttered in Maha, Milenin translated it.

"Your body is garbage."

The therapist added something. There was mixed exclamation. Lirian looked at her trash-like body and wondered what she could admire. Millenin released the door.

“I knew how he walked with a body like this, but I knew that Croisen's treatment skills were excellent, but that I didn't know that he had progressed to this degree… It’s amazing.

Mach's therapist kindly told me what the medicine bottles Carloy had for use, and even took a few. I want to do research.

“Are you not going out?”

Millenin asked Lillian, not leaving Karloi's bedroom.

"There was only a little bit..."

“Huh yeah.”

She looked at Lirian with a strange exclamation, and she was uncomfortable. Thankfully, Mill Lenin did not put his words on him anymore, and went out nicely. Even though he gave another advice that he shouldn't wander around before leaving.

Lyrian sat on the side of the bed and looked at Karlroy asleep. I was sweating all the time while I was sleeping, and now my breathing is pretty good thanks to the therapist's care.

He didn't even deserve to curse Carloy as a madman. When he thinks of himself, he decides to leave him at best and decides to be with him again.

It wasn't a particularly impulsive decision. That thought came to him when he applied medicine on his back. How can such a wide back look so lonely and small? He wanted to wrap himself unknowingly, but his trembling hands only hung around his waist.

At that moment, Lirian realized. He now vaguely knows that this hindsight would follow her all her life, even that the reason wasn't her responsibility.

“.....You and me now it's time to be okay.”

Lirian whispered, sweeping Karloi's face.

“The pain in my life should have been this much. The memories can be covered with memories.”

Lyrian recalled Asher, who wore the Mach Esaugi today and walked on his two feet.

The reason he had to live was no more special than Lyrian thought. He wanted to have a future where the past doesn't hold onto. Duke of Delua, you deserved a future that could have been easily achieved without that motherfucker.

He's already lost her mother because of that bastard. Why and what she has to lose. He stops turning, stop crossing, stop cheating, stop hurting....

"sack… … .”

Even while Carloy was sleeping, a murmur was heard. It was a name I heard after a long time. It turns out that her car and her lloy haven't called her by her name for quite some time. Would she always call it like this while sleeping?

"If it gets hard, I run away, well."

Lyrian lightly put a chestnut on his forehead, looking at Carlroy's face, which had become anxious. Whether he fell asleep or not, he didn't respond. My eyes grew a little bit heavy, but I didn't cry. I cried so much that I didn't have to shed tears until the day I died.

*****

After opening her eyes, Karloy, who had been groping for a moment, woke up in bed in sorrowful surprise.

"Lian."

There was no sign of her anywhere in the bedroom full of morning sunlight. As if she had all dreams last night.

Carloi left the bedroom with her pale face. He had no mind to pick up and put on. Like her madman, she walked through her hallway calling Li Lian's name, turning her corner and Lilian appeared like her lie.

“Oh my God, Karloy. Can't you wear some clothes?"

Strictly speaking, Lyrian wasn't alone, but he was looking at Mill Lenin with a ridiculous face. Carloy ignored Millenin and stepped up to Lyrian. Lyrian had his face turned red.

“I thought you changed your mind and went away.......”

Karloi muttered holding Lyrian.

“The other person is next to you and you are.”

"Honestly, I think that's right. There's no way you can say that you're left with me unless you're crazy."

“Don’t make a crazy person on your own…”

Lyrian pulled him off. It was a face that seemed to be ashamed of Carloy.

"Yeah, it's your side that's crazy no matter what, Carlo Lee."

Millenin intervened sneakyly. Lirian took Milenin's arm lightly, as if drying, and said to Karloy.

“I went for a walk with Milenin.”

“There’s nothing to see in Mach, but I went for a walk.”

“It was fun. I think Milenin knows a lot of really magical magic.”

At Lyrian's words of fun, Karl Roy forgot what to say. What he had never given me was Maha, and Milenin Noka... I felt a sense of self-destruction.

Millenin laughed.

“Yes, Karloy. Your empress was happy. Go, by the way, it's hot, so I'll have to leave my seat.”

"It's not like that, Milenin... it's okay to be there."

Mill Lenin shook his head and disappeared into the corridor opposite him.

"I have to go in and put on some clothes first."

Carloy stared blankly at Lyrian's casual lead, and slowly followed.

“Lian.”

“But can I hug you?”

“......Aren't it too late to ask now?”

“When I think about it, I think you hate it... But I can't control it. When I wake up, I'm holding you like a crazy guy. Slap it on the cheek."

“Please quietly and go in.......”

Lyrian responded with a creeping voice and first went into Karloi's bedroom. Since yesterday, Karloi has seemed to have become a loose horse. He thought he needed a rein, but he was like a horse that kept running ....... Somehow, he was like a madman in a different meaning than before.

As soon as he entered the bedroom, Carloy looked at Lirian's glance. Lirian asked pretending he hadn't seen it.

“When are you going to go back?”

"uh?"

"I'm curious when I'm going back to Croixen. I want to leave this place quickly."

It was then that Karloy realized that Lyrian had decided to be with him.

“I'll make sure I can leave tomorrow.”

"You are in your condition to get on the boat right now........"

“I can get better tomorrow.”

Looking at Carloy's look, he really thought he would. Lirian hesitated for a moment, then opened his mouth.

“......If I can, I want to go to La Sorthio. I like that place.”

The words ‘good’ from Lirian’s mouth made Karl Roy a pain in her heart. It wasn't a bad word, but it made him sick more strangely than any other word.

"Whatever you want."

Lyrian looked at Karlroy and added.

“If you want to come, you can come.”

Carloy looked at Lyrian without blinking. He also seemed a little ecstatic.

“I want you to see it properly at least once. I thought. It’s a beautiful place.”

“Did you think of me?”

It seemed like a really stupid person to ask back. The back sentence was a question whether I heard it properly.

“I want to go back anyway.”

Lirian was awkwardly avoiding the answer. Karloi, who was only looking at Lyrian, suddenly woke up from his seat.

"Where?"

“To finish talking with Milenin. I have to start tomorrow.”

Carloy quickly got his clothes on and left the bedroom. Lyrian, looking behind him, shook his head unconsciously. That idiot.

Lirian thought, feeling the bright sunlight of Mach that fills the bedroom. It seemed that Asher's words that he hated nothing he hated now made sense. Lirian was also relieved..

***

Carloy, who went out in the morning, was awakened to the end of the evening.

Meanwhile, Lirian cleared up his Maha residence and informed Mary Ann and Jane that they were going to La Sorthio. Mary Ann, who she thought she could say, was more carefree than her thoughts.

“Do whatever you want. Anything your Majesty wants you to do.”

The words made his heart lighter.

Asher, who was eating something next to Mary Ann, was smiling at what she liked. It was a monstrous resilience. I was sweating and acting as if I was going to die, and I was lying down for half a day, and I was back to my original state, no, much better.

“What do you like so that you laugh so much?”

It was the first time I saw Asher laugh like a fool like that. Even if it wasn't, her gentle impression became more childlike.

"Your Majesty is working together."

Actually, Asher spoke in an insignificant way, but Lirian felt like a haze rising somewhere under her chest. She said,'It tickled me to say that I was going back. It sounded as if Lirian had a place to go home. She was also saying that there are things waiting for her.

I suddenly missed Denise. I always want to see you all the time, but more and more today. As the door of the bedroom opened while looking out the window vacantly at the longing for Samuchi, Carloy entered.

He walked away looking at Lirian alone, giving no glance to the other people in the bedroom. I felt like I was going to laugh for nothing. It was so impressive that even the empty longing faded, and it was a little funny.

“I'm leaving by boat tomorrow morning.”

"Did the story finish well?"

"It wasn't bad."

Carloy glanced at Asher, sitting at a table, noticing Asher's gaze looking up at him.

“How is your body?”

"I'm finer than Your Majesty."

Karloi hesitated for a moment, then put his hand on Asher's shoulder.

"......Well done."

What came to Asher's face was more like a cheeky expression rather than an emotion.

“I am not scared anymore.”

"Yes, you are amazing."

Jane, who was watching her, whispered to Mary Ann.

"Mom. Why did we decide to take a tour of the palace, because there may be something missing.”

Mary Ann, looking at her daughter as if what the hell was talking about, got up from her seat with a slow exclamation.

"that's right. It did."

“What is it? There aren't a few places I used at Marina Palace, but there's something to see?

“Because you don't know. We'll see you, so your Majesty just rest tonight."

I read the inside with a smile, but Li Lian tried to pretend not to know. It was obvious that if she wanted to get out of the way that much, whatever she said wouldn't work.

Mary Ann and Jane looked at Asher instead of trying to leave the bedroom.

"Aren't you out?"

Jane whispered a little, but Asher didn't even move. She was a fat face saying that she didn't know why she had to leave this place. Jane's words were lost for a while in the dignity, and she whispered again.

“If you go back, you won’t be able to eat Mach’s food. Wouldn't you like to bring some?"

At that, Asher got up from her seat with a look as if she realized something about her. She followed Jane's gestures, as if she were calling for the animals she had to keep, and Asher followed her squeeze, and soon there were only two left in her bedroom, En Lilian and Carloi.

"Don't overdo it and lie down."

Lyrian shook her head, pointing to the bed, but Carlo shook her head.

“Now it’s all better, it’s okay.”

“I told you not to make me say it twice.”

Carloy, who glanced at Lirian's face, fell asleep and leaned on her nose bed. Lying on Lirian's bed, he saw a picture on the side of the bed. There was a person who could even know Karloy even without telling him who he was. Lyrian, seeing Karlroy's gaze and expression, pretended not to see her.

"I learned it in La Sorthio, because Countess Solis taught me a lot about it."

“.....You drew well. I didn't know if I was good at drawing."

“Because I didn't know. I learned a little musical instrument and learned Maha, but it wasn't as good as painting.”

Something touched Lirian's wrist, holding her paintings at Mach and taking her breath away. Carloy held her wrist very weakly.

Lyrian slowly sat down on the bed, as if lost in her eyes, letting her go silently. When she grabbed a person with her eyes, at any time, Carloi was rubbing her hand without a word.

“You were good at Mach.”

“It’s because I learned it when I was a kid. I often went to Mach.”

“Yes, Milenin told me.”

Lyrian's reply was very weakly frowned on Karlois.

“What are you talking about?”

"Just...... How was you at Mach. He said he was unlucky."

"If anyone else knows, it's not what the siblings will say."

“But you do. It was the same when I first met, and also in Purtu. It makes you talk bad."

In fact, my heart broke when I heard the story of Millenin. Because in that story, Carloy also sounded so lonely. But she didn't talk about that.

As Lirian continued to speak, Carloi gradually lost her words. Carloy, who had a half faced face of resentment, half embarrassment, spit out a little bluntly.

"You tell that motherfucker what I long year. But to other people, what…… I can’t give you a nice answer because I’m just bullshit.”

“.....Yes. And take your therapist back.”

A therapist A Moss Wright, who had been with Mach, first left for Croixen as Lirian's stay in Mach was prolonged.

“I'm good enough to be a Solta therapist now. So now you are well treated.”

Carloi nodded her silently, like a child who listened to her.

“If you have something you need in Solta, tell me anything you want.”

“There wasn't much more than I thought…… there was everything in La Sorthio.”

“I wish I could do something for you.”

“Carl, you just need to be okay.”

It was a friendly answer, but oddly enough, it wasn't enough.

"......Can I send a letter?"

"Huh."

“What do you visit occasionally?”

"okay."

"What do you often visit?"

"Do whatever you want."

Lyrian responded well to Karloy. That was also the answer Karloy wanted, but he spoke well. Now Lyrian didn't seem to hate or blame him. She, like what she said, seemed to be almost okay with the pain now.

But Carloy was still anxious. Several times a day, Lirian didn't cry, but he didn't laugh. Knowing it so well, Carloy was anxious.

When Lirian laughed in Purtu, Karloi remembered how beautiful it was. He knows how ruthlessly few times he panted like a thirsty madman.

"Tell me how you spent it in La Sorthio."

At Carloy's request, Lyrian kindly began to speak to her, leaving him awkwardly kissing her hand.

Carloy was scared that Lyrian would laugh forever.

*****

As soon as dawn broke, I was ready to leave. When I opened her eyes, Lyrian lay leaning against Carloy's chest. While she was having a conversation, she seemed to have fallen asleep without knowing it. Carloi was crushed in the corner of her bed in an uncomfortable position. It really looked like a fool because there was a big person doing it.

Lyrian looked away from the face for a while and she woke him up. Awakening from her sleep, he blinked her eyes a few times and looked at Lyrian. Lirian smacked his shoulder as she seemed to be out of control.

"What is it?"

At Lyrian's question, Karloi breathed a long breath.

"..... it's not a dream."

In a relieved voice, he muttered.

"Every time you open your eyes, in case you have a dream.... What you see, what's next to you."

Lyrian was speechless, looked at him and barely replied.

“.......Get up and wake up.”

At those words, Carloy woke up out of her bed, glancing at her silly laughter. Lyrian thought, looking at the smile. She was a really handsome face. Overdo it.

Not only Kiana, but Mill Lenin and Blaise were greeted at her marina. Keana lightly hugged Lirian and whispered.

"Thank you, Your Majesty."

I don't know what Karloi had to talk to Milenin, but Keana and Clyde agreed to spend a year and a half at Croisen and half at Mach.

"I didn't do it."

"Then, please tell me instead. Now, we aren't going to talk a lot with you two."

Kiana smiled playfully and added her words.

“The book is a gift. Have it."

"No, I'm fine......."

"It's okay! Don't hesitate."

She really wanted to decline, but without giving it a chance, Kia went out and stepped back behind her.

Millenin and Blaze approached. Karl Roy was so generous that he did not care about the appearance of the Mach brothers and sisters he hated so much. Millenin said it was a farewell gift and presented Lirian with some paintings. The sea seen from the Mahit Observation Deck is depicted.

"uh?"

Blaze looked at the painting and looked at Milenin with wide-open eyes. Lirian, who saw it, hesitated to ask.

“Is it acceptable to take pictures?”

"not a big deal. It's one of the things my father drew. He was a weird human, so his hobby was weird, but the painting wasn't bad.”

At the word geek, Lyrian could not stop staring at Milenin for some reason. She laughed out loud to see if Milenin felt the gaze.

“I know what you're thinking, but I'm not that weird. Empress of Croixen. I think he was pretty kind especially to you?"

It was true. It was true that it was a little annoying, but I paid attention that much again.

"Thank you, Milenin."

Milenin smiled at a sincere greeting. Hagi, just looking at that graceful laugh, she wouldn't be able to connect her with the word nerdy at all.

“If you are grateful, you will come again. Looking at it, it looks like the two have come together again.”

Lyrian glanced into the air as if embarrassed, but Carloy took it with confidence. There was even a soft smile on the edge of his mouth. Watching her look, Blaze dropped her chin.

"Crazy guy. Wow, this is the first time I've ever seen him laugh. Is he the guy I knew...? Don't just laugh, you. It's really scary."

Despite Blaze's fierce reaction, Carloy did not give him a long-awaited contempt. The blaze, who was unfamiliar with you, was sick of it.

"The next time I come to Croisen, I'll take a look at the Entura Room."

Mill Lenin snorted him at those words.

"huh. I think that's a sign of your own appreciation. If that's the case, I'd rather change the terms of the deal. Like lowering the tax rate..."

“Because there was nothing else to be thankful for so far.”

As if when he was generous, Milenin kicked his tongue again at the answer, as determined as a sword.

Blaze shook her head and muttered as Carlo and Lyrian entered the boat and became invisible.

“If that's love, I really don't want to do it. I can live my life happily, but what did that happen? It's really scary, making a person like that.”

At Blaze's heartfelt words, Millenin simply laughed at me.

"Blaze, what do you know."

Blaze shrugged her at the familiar ignorance.

"I don't want to know forever, Your Majesty."

"so? I really want to do it, in a short time. Well, love. good."

Mill Lenin turned around with his hum. Blaze behind him made a look like “Isn't it crazy?” to Keana, but she turned her gaze pretending not to know.

The story The sea breeze of the morning came to the dock where many strangers left.

*****

When Lirian came to Mach, she was a much better ship than the ship she was on. Upon entering the spacious and colorful cabin, Karloy gave out a potion.

"what?"

"You say you have severe motion sickness, and because it's a Mach medicine, it's going to be a lot better than what you used in Croisen."

Lirian accepted her vial, speculating she might have heard it from Mary Ann or Jane.

“Where did you get it?”

"I got it from Milenin."

Milenin's eyes seemed to be watching even if it were an interesting play, and he said that he hated more than usual.

"Drink and lie down. If you sleep, it will be much better."

Even if not, Li Lian, who was tired of getting up early, went into bed without talking. I had a habit of going to bed early in Solta, so I got tired of my body just because I slept a little late yesterday.

“Do you have motion sickness too?”

Lirian asked, pulling his head out through the blanket covered by Karloy. Carloi looked into the air for a moment and pressed the urge to kiss him. Even when she was distressed by her contradictory feelings for her in her Four Too, it was difficult for her to bear it, a level of pain in her now that her feelings had nothing to dissent.

“...... I don't have it. I would rather have myself.”

Feeling that the words were too short, Carloi was forced to endure her familiar anxiety once again. She had to say this, and the period when she had to behave like this has passed so much that she is now nervous about what she does.

“The view of the sea is nice, but it’s only good to see it.”

Honestly, Carloi couldn't figure out what the sea was like, but he just nodded her head.

“Why nod my head again without thinking that way.”

At Lyrian's words, Carloi pondered for a while whether he was the one who showed me so well.

“Because you say yes.”

It was a confident answer. Lyrian rolled her body in her quilt and lie on her side, looking at Carloy.

“I think the sunlight is good. I hate being hot like Mach, but I like the lake rather than the sea. It's amazing to draw pictures, and I can't play musical instruments, but listening is okay.”

Karloi listened to Lyrian with a serious face, like a student studying.

“What do you like and hate?”

But for a moment, Lirian's question turned him into a man who faced the most difficult problems in the world.

He didn't know good things, but he knew what people said good things. He was exactly what he had. Pedigree, status, beauty, wealth....... He lived in Purtu Palace, said to be beautiful and splendid, wore clothes made of the finest things, and ate precious food.

And there was no inspiration to make all this vain. The only reason these things barely made sense came after someone I wanted to share. At that time, he could finally be grateful for what he had. It meant there was a lot to give. From that day on, Karloy has been waiting for the day to know all of this with Lyrian.

The moment he recalled his childhood commitment, he swallowed a groan. His chest pain, which had been calm for days, reappeared. He obviously wanted to do that, but the thought of why it happened to him mercilessly tormented his heart.

Why he had to be the person he was harassing Lyrian. Why this way....... He had to come back this long way, no. Is it correct to be back? Isn't it just going to be a dead end?

Lyrian, amazed to see Karlroy's pale face, woke up in bed.

"What is it? Are you sick?"

"......no. OK."

It didn't look like he was gripping his teeth at all. Lyrian looked at Carloi and carefully stretched out his arms. And he hugged him. It's too big to come in.

The sound of his stopping as if inhaling was audible. I wanted to say something, but he didn't come out easily, so Lirian just did it. I felt his shaking hands wrapped around his back.

"OK."

Lirian whispered quietly. Carloi thought in his small arms. Is Lyrian okay, or is he okay? Either the former or the latter, he was not confident.

He could have become so desperate that even with only one Lyrian, he thought he was in hell. And just that much, even with just one Lyrian, I could become happy, complete, and laugh without worry.

However, he thought that to Lyrian, he himself wasn't enough. He seems to be inadequate with his most complete self, but he was scared that his past had already made him less than half of him.

“You don’t have to be sick…”

Nevertheless, despite the anxiety and self-doubt that seemed to never end, Karloi thought he was fortunate to have Lyrian in his life. He's a person who talks like that even after going through all that........

Feeling Lirian in her arms overflowing because she couldn't be shy, Karloi made a pledge again. He said that now he's going to bet the rest of his life so that he doesn't regret that Lirian ran him. So that Lirian doesn't think of meeting him as just an unfortunate or unfortunate accident...

The words of love that had filled up to the end of the neck hurt to the neck of Karlroy, and he could not come out. He struggled to swallow it.

*****

Mach's medicine was so good that the severity and frequency of motion sickness was significantly reduced.

Even after a few days, Carloy was with Lyrian the whole time. Lirian lied to her that she would sleep in a different cabin when she fell asleep, without even trying to get up on the bed she was lying on. When the person who said he was going to sleep opened his eyes, he was dozing next to me.

Again, if he condemned me if it was a lie, he replied with an unfair face. It wasn't on purpose, but I really forgot, I didn't even know I fell asleep. Then she told me to go before she went to bed, and she screamed that it couldn't be done again.

Seeing Lyrian having a nightmare while sleeping the day before yesterday, he didn't know that it was. The face that saw Li Lian waking up while screaming. Because of that expression, Lilian had forgotten even the contents of the nightmare.

He wiped away Lirian's sweat and tears and repeated the same words endlessly. Sorry, so Li Lian banned the words.

“If that's the case, just come up here and sleep today. The bed is wide anyway.”

Carlo shook his head with a look as if listening to the nails. Lirian, who was upset for a moment, said in a slightly enraged voice.

“You said you would do anything, and I heard nothing at all…. You have to say anything twice or three times to hear it, and only say lie.”

Carloi quickly became a punisher-like face, and he hesitated for a long time before he came up to bed.

“I was afraid you would be uncomfortable.”

"It's more uncomfortable that you're doing it."

When Lyrian wriggled and touched him, Karloy closed his eyes for a moment and then slowly opened.

“Why is your expression?”

"......Because living nicely seems to be difficult. I was thinking that you were great, Lirian."

What on earth does Carloy see and think he's good?... He must be mistaken for the concept.

Lyrian stared at the loose idiot. His expression became harder and harder to read.

"Why look at me like that. Don't look at it."

His tone felt a little blunt than usual. And somehow it was a familiar tone. He seems to have said this even when he tempered himself as he stood in the cave.

Lirian smacked his forehead lightly for nothing.

"Not one thing has changed."

“Why is that…. I’m trying to stop talking right now. What if I touch it like that.”

What kind of touch you mean by hitting your forehead? Lilian, who looked at Carloy as if Chi Lilian had a gentle touch, looked at him as if he were a madman asked.

"Do you have more to do......?"

Karloi slowly closed and opened his eyes again.

“Wouldn’t it be okay to hug?”

At first, Lirian mumbled to himself, and he didn't even understand that it was the permission he was asking for.

“I'm sure not.”

“What the hell are you talking about on your own?”

Carloy looked at her and sneaked her hand and dragged her. Lyrian blinks her eyes and stares at his hand as he draws. Carloy slowly kissed her hand, looking at Lirian, who had not responded much even when her hand was held. His eyes never left Li Lian's face for a moment.

Lirian received a kiss of his hand without knowing the English. Reported that her appearance Carlo, which was suspicious and whether it is to think about a son of a bitch she is now raising him. Even if she touches her lips, it's like that.

Carloi exhaled a long breath as she saw she left her hand on him without much reaction. At first glance, the breath that I heard difficultly touched his hand lightly like a kiss.

“Can I sleep with you?”

"Huh? Yeah, what..."

Lirian replied, as if she wasn't a big deal. The person who asked was asking with all their thoughts and feelings of anxiety, but the person who answered it was not so fascinating. The difference made me hesitate a little even in the positive answer.

With one arm outstretched, Lirian easily came into his arms. She's so easy enough to collapse.

Just by touching it like this, her eyes became sorrowful, and when I thought about how Lirian could do this, I heard a murmur from under her.

"Warm."

At her voice, Carloi stopped holding her tighter. Lirian hit her breasts a few times, and although she quickly regained strength,

Lirian subconsciously digs into her arms. There was a sense of stability that a solid body gives. When Carloy asked if he could hug him, he didn't think much. He actually did everything he had to do and saw everything he could see....... He was also thinking about what's the big deal about holding it.

But he was different. She was completely different. In Purtu, no matter how narrow the distance from him, there was a gap given by lies. The inability to reveal everything made him feel bloody cold with anxiety even if he and his flesh were mixed. I was more anxious and stuck to each other, and even if they entangled each other, it was not resolved.

But he wasn't stuffy now. There was only warmth. So as to relieve the tension in his body,

“Because I’m yours, all of me…”

Carloy's voice was low and sounded like a lullaby.

"I'll try to contain a lot. Only good things. So that you can have all the wealth as it is..."

Lirian mumbled even in her profuse sleep.

“Take good care of you....... I have to do it for you.”

Her sudden drowsiness drowned her words. I felt his lips settled on his forehead. Like that day in the cave.

“You do it for me.”

Karloi's voice was sneaky and good to hear. Strangely, I wasn't scared of the shaking of the ship anymore.

*****

The ship was noisy about arriving in Solta soon. The clutter flowed into the peaceful cabin and Lirian opened his eyes. Her only wriggled very weakly on her body, but Carloi wrapped her around and her inside gave her arm strength.

"Don't wake up."

"no......."

Carloy was subtly turning like a crappy. His ridiculous voices are laid out in a very common sense, with that soft voice.

“I think I can carry it around until I die.”

If it was Carlo, who seems to have somehow loosened the reins, I really thought it would be possible, so Lirian didn't even think about refuting.

"I will never die sooner than you. A day after you die..... no, an hour later...."

"Don't kill yourself on your own..."

“If I die first, I can’t go with you.”

If I die late, does it mean that I will die with my own body? I had to say that I was goosebumps or swearing because I was a crazy guy, but I didn't really feel like that, so Lirian wondered if he might have transferred it to Carloy. Somehow it felt like his body was relieved.

"Lian."

“If you don’t like me, you can be angry. You can swear, you can beat it. anytime......."

It was a word of unknown English. She died a day late, so she said what she was talking about.

"suddenly?"

“Just, it’s something that suddenly I can hate or hate me. From your point of view, that's... it's natural.”

Lyrian held his head in his arms and looked up at him.

"Not really."

Anything that hates or resents him has already been put down. Sometimes, very occasionally, memories of old stabbed him around his chest, but the appearance of Karlroy in recent years was so shocking that even the tingling sensation was forgotten.

"......okay."

Carloi smiled, but he didn't look so happy. Lyrian thought he was still looking sick all the time.

He heard a knock on the door to see if it was time to really get ready to get off. At the sound, Carloi let Lirian go, but it clings to it in a different way.

As Lirian helped her get dressed, Carloi sneakily hung on her arm, wrapped around her waist, or wrapped around her back. It felt like raising an animal that had just woke up.

He seemed to notice or hesitate, but in the blink of an eye, he touched casually. It was an amazing technique.

“Why don’t you have to refrain from looking at people… a little?”

Lillian with a red face asked in a quiet voice that others would not hear from Karlroy, who did not think of falling even outside the cabin.

"no."

Shamelessly speaking only two letters, Lirian lost what he had to say and let him do what he said.

“I'm not kissing your forehead to your toes, I'm not holding you, and that's why you….”

Lyrian hurriedly closed his mouth with his hand. He heard that he wanted to do those things without people, no, even if there were people, and even his ears became hot.

"Okay, okay. Stop... you can stop talking."

Lillian's waist, who had been struggling with her tiptoes to stop his crazy noises, was wrapped in one arm. Then I covered Lyrian's hand, which was covering his mouth, as if covering it with my hand, and began to kiss him.

“Why is this really...”

“If I have a little bit, I have to fall away...”

Unlike the impurity that Karloy's eyes were doing, it looked so sad that Lyrian lost again.

“You can see it again. Not too far."

Upon landing at the port of Solta, Karloy looked like a man who had broken the world. He was smiling, but his eyes were like that.

Actually, so did his feelings. He also thought that he didn't want to break up with Lyrian, but he also thought that he wanted to let her go with her brush. This is the place where Lirian came to love for a long time. Because she's where she can make her smile.

I didn't even want Lyrian to love her. However, he hoped that he would like him as much as half of Solta's, or even a little bit. Not because of reluctance....... It seemed that she could live with her sympathy, but she was still hungry.

Even if he gave him a tiny piece of laughter made in La Sorthio, he seemed to be able to lick and eat that piece for his entire life. Like a little laughter that Li Lian showed in Purtu and repeated her laughter even in a dream.

"Take care of yourself, do whatever you want to do."

"You have to be careful with your body, Carl. If you look, I'll check it. If it's really okay."

Karloi finally hugged Lyrian once and let go. Lyrian hesitated for a long time, looking at Karl Roy, repeating her gaze downward, then pulling a book out of her luggage.

"this......."

Carloy was confused and accepted the book she handed him over. Some book didn't even have the title written on the cover.

"What is this?"

"Just... read it when you're bored or difficult."

I don't know why, but Lirian seemed embarrassed.

“It helps me get rid of my thoughts.”

All Carloy thought was Lirian's thoughts anyway, and he didn't want to get rid of that thought either. But anyway, Lyrian gave it to him. He accepted it with joy.

“I'll go see you soon.”

Carloi, seeing her Lirian nodding her head, eventually hugged her again. And she couldn't let it go as easily this time.

21. The Emperor and the Huang

<I'll go see.>

It was a promise. Carloy's promise to herself. Lyrian realized this in La Sorthio. When I listened, the short words I heard without thinking felt longer as time passed.

While wondering why he was thinking about that short word, Lirian realized that it was waiting. I was in a strange mood.

“Who did you think is coming?”

Olivia Donata asked with a smile. Lyrian, who was sitting on the shore of Lake Mexus, shook his head in visibly confused.

"why not?"

“Because he turns his head whenever he hears something. If not, not.”

Olivia, who has seen it again after a long time, has not changed. She heard that Lirian had decided to come back and she said she said. The emperor was'a person who knows a little,' and she was the opinion that Olivia Donata would do.

She said, ``How much do you have to say that you have served her Majesty well? I was sorry to receive it. I also enjoyed it, but I even got rewards for it.>

It wasn't just Olivia Donata that she received something, and La Sorthio was quite different too. It must have become more glamorous, but seeing that it was different from the Four Two, it seemed that Olivia was taking charge of the decoration.

"I'm not waiting......."

Contrary to the answer, after Mary Anne appeared from a distance, Lirian raised her head again.

“A man came from Purtu.”

After Mary Ann, Gorten and other servants were coming. There wasn't really a carloy, but

"Your Majesty, I am glad that her face looks good."

Gortendo, who said so, seemed quite happy. Through him, Lyrian guessed that Karloy was okay.

"There was something the Emperor was sending to His Majesty, so I found it."

"I didn't have to come to you."

“Of course you have to come.”

As soon as Gorten's words were over, he began to unpack what the attendants had brought. There were a few books, a bunch of flowers, and a bunch of things you needed to draw.

“This is the letter you asked for.”

“Oh, be romantic.”

Olivia Donata laughed as she looked at her stationery. Lilian's face turned red in the wind.

"I stayed there for a while, Goreten."

“No, Your Majesty. You have to go right away. Everyone is so busy with Purtu's business.”

Lirian easily conceded, recalling the conversation he had with Millenin. Perhaps he would be very busy doing new things.

The books were some of the things Lirian said he was interested in one day and some of the things she saw for the first time. The bunch of fresh flowers was fresh and the stationery also smelled like flowers.

“Books and flowers. It's an elegant gift for her lady.”

Lirian carefully opened the letter, listening to Olivia muttering as if they were satisfied.



It was a short letter, but Lilian could see that it contained a lot. I felt as if the scent from the stationery was getting thicker. The incense is not a nose, it tickles the heart.

Lyrian sweeps his stationery and quietly puts it down on his lap. His heart was beating. He was forced to wait for his appointment again.

***

At dawn, Carloy woke up after a cold sweat from a terrible nightmare. As always, Lilian is spoken in words, and Lilian dreams of leaving herself.



A cold voice rang in my ears. Lirian's words were rather on the good side. What was hard for Carloy to bear was he who came out of his dreams. In fact, he did not want to recall those words compared to Lirian, who did not say that.

He convinced himself that he was just a dream, staring at the empty bedroom. Lyrian didn't leave, he decided to stay with me, and it took quite a long time to actually believe the lie-like reality.

It was natural. I could say dozens or hundreds of reasons why Lyrian would leave him, but I couldn't say a single reason for staying.

The sun was rising in the distance. Looking up at the blue dawn sky, Karloy thought of a land in the warm sun.

Lyrian will be in the sunlight. How beautiful to cry. Just imagining it made his heart tingle.

He wished he smiled a lot under him, he wished he would laugh out loud if he dared to wish more. He's sorry he won't see him right now, but he still wanted her to be warm.

Carloy, who was struggling without knowing what to do, between the complicated regrets and wishes, suddenly found a book that had been put on the side of the bed. It was a book given by Lyrian at the port of Solta.

<Read when you are bored or difficult.>

I wasn't bored, but my heart was overwhelmed. Carloy picked up the book without knowing it. When I thought about it, it was received from Lirian, not anyone else, but it was too neglected. Until then, he thought it was his karma no matter what he was thinking about, but he didn't try to shake it off... .

With a strange anticipation and curiosity about what Lilian wanted to show him, he leaned against the bed and opened the book. The title was written on the inlay.

<How to deal with death>

Looking at the title, I couldn't even guess what it was going to be. Is it about defeating even monsters? Carloy's eyes wide open as he unfolded the next chapter without thinking.



What this is about.

Maybe Lyrian wanted to talk about the Duke of Delua. He began to flip the bookshelf with a heavy heart. The more he passed, the more disturbing his expression.

"no......"

Various questions spontaneously popped out of my mouth. What is Lilian trying to tell him through this book? He couldn't get a sense of it, so he continued reading with a confused mind.

In his life he had never read a book like this. Such an inferior ....... antisocial ........ hurting the breeze and morals of society ....... Carloy's impressions became increasingly frowned upon, but his hand over the bookshelf grew faster.

What is obscene and why is it so obscene? I wondered that Lilian asked him to read this, how many of these people were eating together. Maybe the book has changed.

Carlo eagerly read the book, awaiting the punishment of his son, who had been impoverished for his affair. On the other hand, while continuing to gauge Ron Lyrian's intentions.

"What is this."

Father's body is gone! The woman, the stepmother, also muttered swearing because Carloy was absurd. It's a book like this. Now... Where's the next volume?

When Carloy covered the book and thought with a serious face, Gorten came in and said to Carloy.

"Your Majesty, Dunya Gong has come. Why aren't you coming to the office?"

“The time is still...”

Carloi, who continued his words, looked out of his window, and he lost his words to stop. It must have been a bluish dawn, but the sun was already floating in the middle of the sky.

"sire! What else happened? I thought so. The last few days, I thought that your Majesty's condition was okay, but...”

Alexis Dunya came in, spitting out in an impatient tone, and stopped talking when he saw Karloy sitting in bed.

"sire."

“Duh?”

Alexis glanced over Karloy and turned to the book he was holding.

“Are you busy reading…? I don't even know the sun has risen because of what kind of book it is."

As Alexis looked at the title of the book with a curious glance, Carloy was surprised and shoved the book.

"Nothing much."

"I'll do it later......."

“Why did you come? I think it's a busy job.”

Alexis stared at Carloy, who was in a hurry to stop talking, with suspicious glances, but Carloy tried to ignore it.

Nobody else, he couldn't show Alexis Dunya a book like this. I'd rather die. Even if you thought that this was Karloy's taste, it was difficult. The contempt that appeared on Dunya's face, who values intelligence, was good in her eyes.

“Go to the office and listen. And I have organized the things to send to La Sor Tio. Would you like to see it one last time?"

After returning to Purtu, the day was far away, and Carloy launched a gift offensive with La Sorthio. Whether he was eating, working, sleeping, or walking, he thought about what to send to Lyrian. She wants her to like her a little. And there was also an impure feeling that he wished that even a little bit of her daily life.

At Alexis's question, Carlos couldn't answer right away and hesitated for a moment.

“What more do you want to do?”

"Well."

Carloy thought again. Why did Lyrian present this book to him?...... Will this gift be right? There was only one thing he could guess in his wandering head.

“What are you so excited about? Feel free to talk about anything a woman needs. These are things that I know very well, so I will be able to prepare easily.”

What are the things you know well. Others might not know, but as much as Dunya, Carloy thought. Inside only.

“No... well. Are there any popular novels these days?”

“So last time, your Majesty chose and sent it to you.”

"No, not a novel like that....... Should it be a popular novel?"

"Yes?"

The Emperor's face turned slightly red when the Old Duchess asked back with an unbelievable face.

***

“I’m all curious every day what your Majesty will send.”

Mary Anne sipping her tea and said. Spending every day on Lake Mexus has become familiar to the women of La Sorthio.

As always, the waters of Mexus are the beauty of Solta. It was shining with the fortunes shared by the sunlight. On the shore of the lake, painting tools were placed casually, but peacefully, and on the table were vases, a few books, and desserts made by Vex. Li Lian smiled faintly as he looked at the table full of things Carloy gave him.

Yesterday, a band from Karlroy went to the lake with a wonderful performance. Olivia clapped her eyes for good, but she didn't like Lirian.

What Karloy was giving to Lyrian was not the gift itself. It was anticipation. Every day, I expect that something will be a little different....... Lilian sometimes felt overwhelmed with the kind of excitement she had for the first time in her life. Others were living in this way.

Despite his absence, Karloi soaked into Lyrian like this expectation. Every day he was with him.

He always thought that he was drying up, and his life was getting wet. It's so fertile that I think it's possible that flowers will bloom in a little while.

It was regrettable that she could not boast of this change to Denise, and that she could not tell her, so Lirian frustrated her neck as a habit.

It was always a loss to follow Lirian. And not only Lirian, but many other people have at least one. Now there were things that felt as big as the taste of that bitter loss.

Lirian waited for Carloy's heart, eating each piece of Dadidan cake made by Vex.

"Oh. I came, I came.”

At Mary Ann's words, Lirian's small chest swelled. Purtu's attendants approached and put down the items. Fresh flowers that come in different types every day, oil paintings in styles that are hard to find in Solta, and a pair of yellow dresses... endlessly lined up.

Knowing that Carloy had chosen it himself, he had fun guessing what he thought he would have spent.

“You have a lot of books today?”

When I looked back at Jane's words, there were many new books. Li Lian glanced over the book titles. The tragedy of Lady Miriam....... Their circumstances....... The climax....... The report was just the title of the book, the contents of which I cannot guess.

Lilian unconsciously picked one and turned over the bookshelf, and his face turned red and threw the book onto the table as he dropped it.

“Why are you doing that? Oh my God. It's the climax! It's hard to get this!”

Mary Ann picked up the book Lirian had threw and shouted. Olivia Donata looked at her book as if curious about the reaction. But she quickly covered it up finely, and Olivia swayed her debt gracefully.

“Furturan.......”

I felt a lot of emotion, no, evaluation at the words of laughing and muttering.

Mary Ann looked around her book and looked at the Empress, whose face was still red.

“But why did the emperor think his majesty would like this?”

It was a question no one could answer.

“This idiot.......”

Lirian whispered like a sigh and opened her letter.



Even in the handwriting, I felt impatience. She said that she could see it anytime she could see it now, and she told the message to come after all, through Four Two's attendants, and even that seemed to be useless. Then, is it coming today?

Lirian wanted to cover my face by stealing her Olivia's debt. Even though the embarrassment was gone, her heart beat strangely and her face was hot.

Even after all the other women had returned to the palace, Lilian had no choice but to remain in the lake, pretending to paint her paintings. She thought that Karloy might not be coming today, and no matter how early she left, she would arrive late at night, but she couldn't stop pacing at the lake shore.

“I guess I’m crazy, Mom.”

As her steps moved, her heart fluttered back and forth.

As the sun went over the lake, a horse was heard crying. My head turned around without my knowledge. From afar, I could see a horse running at high speed slowly slowing down and approaching the lake. Lirian, unknowingly, took her hands together and walked out under her sloping slope. She didn't know why she was so nervous.

Her eyes wandering to get her focus met the man's eyes sitting on her horse. At that moment, when his heart fell, Carloi jumped off his horse in the blink of an eye.

It was faster for Karloi to hold Lilian in his arms than to call on his name. Because of that, the breath that was trying to call him was blocked by his wide chest.

"I just have to put up with one more day. That doesn't work."

Carloy's breath reached a little bit faster. Not knowing about it, Lirian, without a reply, wrapped his arm around his back with no answer. It was warm.

He was a very small move, but it was enough to put Karloy in heaven. Chronic anxiety couldn't bother him at this moment.

Lyrian doesn't hate him. Maybe he seemed to like him a little.

"It's good to be able to say good things as good, so you can say exactly what you feel..."

Murmured Karloy. Lyrian understood his words with his heart. I didn't know that it would be such a free feeling that there was nothing to hide, nothing to hide, and nothing to disturb my heart.

"But why are you out alone. You wouldn't have thought I'd come so quickly."

Lirian replied, avoiding his gaze.

“I was drawing some pictures.”

“There doesn’t seem to be anything else on the canvas.”

“..... it took a long time.”

“Are you sure you waited for me?”

Lyrian didn't answer.

"really? You waited for me?"

Carloy asked again in a trembling voice. Li Lian asked his head instead of answering. Carloy laughed to see if that was a sufficient answer. Lirian heard the sound blankly. It was the first time I heard him laugh so loudly. A pleasant sound lingered in my ears like the wind.

Carloy hugged Lyrian as if to tie him up and walked, kissing his forehead.

"What are you doing. Give it down."

“Don’t think about walking on two feet today, Your Majesty.”

“What, what?”

“Don’t even think about walking on your feet.”

Carloy replied roughly in a mischievous tone and removed a chair from the table. Then he was very surprised. What i just said.

It was never said in a strange way. As I said, I was saying that Lirian would treat her as a princess so she wouldn't have to use her two feet...

As soon as he recalled how the word was used in the popular novel he read today, he lost his words to stop and stood tall. Seeing that Lyrian's face turned red, he must have thought the same thing.

“By the way, Lirian, why did you give that book to me?”

An instinctive question ran out of his mouth before even regaining his reason. Lyrian raised his head as if unfairly.

“What are all the books you sent today? What do you think of me......."

“I know that your taste is what you like....... I was deliberately trying to get it. You said it wasn't because you enjoyed it?"

"no!"

Lirian's voice grew much longer. When Carlo I sat in a chair, Lyrian, who was held by him, naturally sat on his lap.

“No? Wasn't it fun at all?"

“I gave it because it really helped me get rid of my thoughts. Keana gave it to me. What I like is what I like, what do I see people as...”

Lyrian's throat, who quickly spit out in resentment, gradually became quieter. It was because he realized where and in what chair he was sitting when he met Karloy's gaze right in front of him.

There was a fever on his face. Wake. Lirian swears at herself. Since when did you get embarrassed so easily and blush easily?

However, no matter how much he held his mind, he had no knack for Karlroy, who pretended to be invisible. His behavior continued every moment was unpredictable. He had never experienced it, so he was poor at dealing with it.

As Lirian flinched as if she was pulling out of her body, Karloy's sturdy arms rewound her waist and pulled it towards him. Lirian put both hands on his shoulder without my knowledge.

"okay? I'm pretty fond of it."

A playful, weak-hardy, weak laughter mingled between the whispering voices. The sound tickled his heart, not Lyrian's ears. His golden eyes were playful.

"The climax...... Is it? I especially liked that book."

“......Are you proud of being perverted?”

"That's right. I realized it anew. I'm the kind of guy that's like that."

As a stunning expression came to Lirian's face, Carloy laughed again.

"I'm kidding."

His laughter spreading was awkward, and on the other hand, his heart hurt as much as it was awkward, so Lirian looked at the trace of the laugh without missing a single trace.

Laughter gradually disappeared from Karlroy's face, as if she felt Lilian's gaze. A subtle heat rose to my golden eyes when I was playful.

"It might not be a joke."

Carloi, muttering in a low voice, energized Lirian's arms around her waist, bringing his face closer. Lilian subconsciously held his breath as it felt as if his lips were touching.

For a moment there was a feeling of tension. As they wandered, they met and scattered again.

But his lips settled on the back of Lirian's neck. He hugged her Lyrian and buried her face in her neck. Her lips rubbed through her skin. It's as if it could be Lirian's most intimate place.

"Lian."

"Huh."

Somehow her neck burned.

"Thanks."

For not pushing him away. For accepting even his worst jokes. He swallowed up all the reasons he could give endlessly.

As if wrapping his hand on his shoulder, he saw a white arm protruding over his sleeve. The scar left by the Duke of Delua on Lirian's body did not disappear forever, so he had to undergo periodic treatment to make the wound invisible. Lirian said it didn't matter because it was a scar that didn't hurt anyway, but Carloi didn't.

He kissed him slowly from Lyrian's wrist as if to atonement. He again until she touches her neck.

Feeling like he knew what he was like, Lyrian quietly swept his hair with his fingers. Soft black hair scattered through my fingers.

As his lips cover her flesh, her memories will continue to be covered with memories. Until it is hard.

Lyrian turned her back and sat against him, leaning against her chest. She was comfortable. Carloy's hands hugged her waist and held it firmly. Lirian relaxed her body as she exhaled her long, drowsy-sounding breath.

I saw a beautiful mexus. Under the darkening sky after the sunset was over, the calm waves of the lake that received several lights shook. His hair fluttered in the cool breeze.

"Do you know the legend here?"

Lyrian's quiet question, Karloy nodded her head.

“When I first came here, I spoke to the lake every day. It's not right now, but..."

Lyrian placed his hand quietly as he felt the power squeezed into Karloi's hand.

“I know now. Even if she doesn't say it here, my mom will be listening to me, and that I haven't lost her mom.....”

<My love, my life, Lou>

Lirian knew. She knows that as long as she breathes, de Nice will breathe forever.

If Denis is alive, Carl, what would you say when you see this idiot? Lirian suddenly became curious. You got stuck with an idiot and you became stupid too, boy. It seems like this.

“Carl, you say hello to my mother too.”

“With what kind of mind…”

“Why was it because of you that I bought medicine, and she asked where her mother got from, but now she asks me.”

Lyrian slowly began to unravel her memory of her de Nice in her quiet voice. Carloy listened to all those words while cherishing his love and life.

He was grateful to Denise that the only thing that could be felt in Denise's story told by Lyrian was love. Somehow, even after all this, it seemed that I could guess why Lirian was able to embrace him. A story of full love that is unfamiliar to him may have made the difference between him and Lyrian.

Lirian's voice, who had been talking for a long time, became quieter and he couldn't hear it.

"Lian."

No answer came, and his small body curled up, digging further into his arms. Carloy picked up the blanket on the table and covered it over Lyrian, who began to fall asleep. Carefully without a gap.

With her holding her, Carloi gazed at her silent lake. A place loved by her deceased mother.

<Because of you...>

I remembered the last words I spoke while holding Carloy's hand. At some point, that means, that memory couldn't hurt him at all. But it was enough to make him hate La Sortio, this place. That place looked pretty beautiful today. It seemed like I couldn't understand what Lirian had come to love about this place.

Lyrian was changing his memory and his senses. So how could Lirian not be all of him? He was not enough to say love. The feelings he feels.... He was hers ever since the little child saved him from nothing.

“My life…”

He whispered to himself and kissed the sleeping woman's forehead.

Even Karloy had a complete memory now. And he pledged that he would never, ever lose it again.

***

When Lirian woke up, it was on the bed. Strictly speaking, all he could see was Karlroy's chest, so he took a little while to notice that he was on the bed,

He was weirdly refreshing and light in body. It's not like I couldn't sleep well lately, but yesterday's sleep showed reactions all over the body as if it were special.

Lyrian lifted his sneaky Karlroy arm to get up. While sleeping, his impressions were not good. What the hell are you dreaming of? It was a moment when he carefully moved his arm to the side and pulled out his body.

"No!"

Suddenly Karloi woke up, shouting.

"knife......?"

Carloy looked around him with a blank expression for a moment and looked at Lillian for a while. A sigh flowed out of Carlroy's mouth, as she rubbed Lirian's wrist carefully with a half-dream-like face. It feels like relief.

"What is it?"

"nothing."

With a face that did not match the answer, he slowly woke up from bed. Before he could even organize his clothes, a popular pretender was told to enter from the door, and the door opened.

"Dunna said that he would do this."

Asher entered the bedroom without hesitation with a friendly face.

“Asher! What if I go in before I have permission?”

Behind the scenes were lovely Mary Ann and Jane screaming.

“I was going to start by now anyway. I can't stand it and let you go.”

“Because I am the fastest.”

Since returning from Mach, Asher's pride has been on the verge of being thrilled.

"Okay. I'm asking, so stay out for a while."

Jane took Asher, who had become a sharp face in a burial bowl, as Jane dragged it out.

Carloi, lying on the side of Lyrian's lap, flicked her long hair with his fingers as if playing a play.

"Ha..."

The sigh that keeps coming out without interruption made me guess how much he hated going back to Purtu.

“I just need a little more. And you can come back.”

"After that, you have to go to Purtu again."

"It doesn't go forever. It doesn't mean you can't see it forever."

“You don’t understand.”

Carloy glared at Lyrian for a moment with a disgruntled face. It was a face similar to Asher's earlier.

"I......."

Carloi, trying to say something, bite his mouth firmly.

"Okay. I'll come back soon after I'm done."

Lilian replied, tilting his head, looking as if he had anything he wanted to hear.

"okay."

At the short answer, Carloy grunts and mutters to himself, then lays Lyrian next to me and hugs him.

"Hey."

"Huh."

Carloi quietly picked his words. There were many things I wanted to ask. Why don't you push me away Will you hold me as you grab and hold you as you hold, will you wait for me for a while? Would you like a little bit for me to come soon? Will you feel the thirst I feel?

no. There was only one thing I wanted to ask. Among your feelings, the question was whether there were any traces or traces that were similar to me, whether you like me, and in the end, whether you love me at least a little, can you love me?

Strangely, however, the question did not come out of his mouth no matter how much he took his mind and no matter how much time passed. So he had no choice but to ask.

“The day we first met. When I was young.”

"Huh."

“At that time you too… would have liked me a little.”

When Lyrian heard the question, he wriggled his body and raised his head.

"Yes, you know."

Her attitude, as if asking why she was asking something for granted, made Karl Roy feel better again, like a fickle child.

“You call your name whatever you want, kiss your forehead whatever you want, lure a country girl to your liking, and ask why.”

"I was flirting, but I didn't know it was over."

"If you don't go over then, you're not doing this, now..."

So now? Carloi clung to her as she struggled to press her heart to ask her so much.

"Tell me one reason why you liked me. Only one......"

Carloy gently rubbed her face against Lyrian's neck. Lirian felt a fever on her face, she thought. It was an easy question. There weren't that many reasons.

"You told me to run away."

"What?"

“Because you told me to run away. He's a person who cares about a girl he's never seen before.”

“It wasn't much. It's natural."

"Because it's not natural for everyone."

Lyrian swept the hair of Carloy in Jamzako. If she had grown up in a happy place, Carloi would have grown up just like that.

“And you were pretty, you.”

The most I've ever seen.

Lyrian swallowed her back horse. Still, Karloy was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. Even when she blew her off her, he made her sad because of her unchanging beauty. Maybe that's why I didn't want to tell it easily.

Carloy exhaled a drowsy breath against the nape of her neck.

"done."

“What is it?”

"This can last a few days."

While Lyrian was not with him, he would have been able to chew up these words until sunset.

“......Quickly finish and come.”

Lirian, who hesitated as if hesitated, whispered in an inaudible voice.

"The next time you come, go to Delfinan..."

Lyrian's words could not be concluded. It was because Carloy was choked by the hug her tightly again.

Lyrian's words of promising the next were overly tempting. I thought, feeling a terrifying sense of happiness because it was overwhelming. Next time, maybe next time I can ask Lirian that question.

***

Carloy left La Sorthio with a look like a funeral. Lirian felt her own change, scaring to think of what was sad or sad in just a few days.

The night was empty and long, punished for how long the night Carloy was next to her. The bed was spacious and cold. When she woke up, Lirian touched her bed linen blankly. The nightmare wasn't that scary anymore, but the chills permeating my body couldn't be helped.

The sound of his laughter, which I heard for the first time in his life, consistently revolved around Lilian's ears. I just lingered, but I didn't remember exactly, so I only aroused the desire to hear it again.

“You have a lot of different thoughts these days.”

Olivia's soft laughter struck her mind.

"Ah. I'm sorry.”

“It could be.”

Olivia replied lightly and turned over her bookshelf. Fort Olivia was teaching Lirian the history and culture as well as various liberal arts. The more she learned, the more she realized how much she had learned in Duke Delua's work.

He was the knowledge he had put in without knowing why he had to learn. The breadth of understanding was absurdly narrow. Even if it wasn't, I realized that the damn little world made it narrower in this way.

“Since your Majesty's learning is fast, there seems to be a limit to what I can tell you in a common way.”

"You're out of date?"

"Your Majesty is also true, exaggerated praise."

Olivia laughed joyfully. Her laughs always reminded me of Lake Mexus.

“I am a broad and thin person. Now, you need someone who knows little but deeply. Besides, I don't know much about Purtu. Of course, on the premise that your Majesty wants it.”

Olivia had a firm principle that learning should be enjoyed on your own.

“I want to learn more properly.”

She was sincere. The more she learned, the more she felt as if her life was filled with color. She feels like a good life, not a bad life.

"Because my empress is still a sol other person even in her mind. She must have accidentally chosen the wrong place to be born."

Olivia laughed happily and spoke her words to Mary Anne, who was sitting next to her. It was her Olivia-style top-notch praise.

Lyrian shook her head ashamed, but couldn't hide her subtle joy spreading through her mouth. Achievement and praise. It was much more valuable, fun, and exciting than Lirian thought.

These days, Lirian's day was filled with a different excitement, and the fisheye was in a mood. If these days continued forever, it seemed like a day would come when even her night couldn't beat her.

“I know the right person. I will probably be willing to accept it.”

She said leisurely, the Countess, with nothing she did not know and had not prepared.

“And because you had a hard time today....... Nothing much, but it's a gift. Go out."

As Olivia shook her head toward the balcony, Mary Anne and Jane, who were sitting next to her, began to laugh meaningfully.

"What gift?"

"Please go out once, because it was too big to fit inside."

Olivia replied fairly skillfully. With her dubious face, Lirian went out to the balcony. Lyrian, who put her hands on her feet and looked down at her, stiffened on the spot.

“Hi, Lirian.”

Carloy was standing. With a smile on what was so enjoyable, his pleasant voice blew the air. Lyrian silently looked down at her carloi continuously. As the silence continued, the smile began to disappear from Karl Roy's face.

“I tried to come quickly, but I guess you’re not particularly happy.”

He muttered a little gloomy.

“Yeah, honestly, I am not a gift. I did say that too. But the Countess...”

As if as an excuse, he looked at Karlroy, who connects the words blankly. Not Lilian turned his back. And he passed the balcony, crossed the library and went out into the hallway. Not knowing why she walked so hurriedly, Lirian walked like a run. Every time he went down the stairs, he stepped faster and faster. My heart started beating to that step.

When I reached the last floor, I saw Karlroy at the bottom of the stairs.

"be careful."

Lyrian's steps stopped when he saw Karlroy with her worried face. It was obvious that she ran too fast. My heart seemed to burst. She was terrified.

Lirian herself was awkward, so she couldn't help but stood still and stared at Karloy. Then she slowly again began to descend her steps one by one. Carloi, staring at her lyrian with her enchantment, opened her arms as she got closer.

Lyrian finally gave herself up to the weird and overwhelming impulse that filled her whole body, and she ran down her stairs without hesitation.

“Be careful.”

There was a pleasant scent from his arms, and his voice in his ears was peaceful.

Carloy hugged his neck and lifted Lyrian, who was full of him, high. The wind moved Lilian's hand from his neck to his shoulders.

"Tell me. Have you waited for me a little?"

The color of Karloi's eyes looking up at her Lilian was always hot. Lyrian raised her hand and she gently swept his face.

“More than a little.”

An honest answer came out as if he was possessed by something. At that moment, Lyrian realized. Actually, I've been wanting to see Karloy a lot, from a long time ago. From the days of my childhood living in the dark forest, even when he was right next to him in Purtu.

Carloy smiled at the answer. It was a beautiful and sad smile.

“I've always been waiting for you... all my life. I think I'm still waiting for you. Even though you can see it right in front of you, like a crazy guy...

At Carloy's words, Lyrian covered his face with both hands without me knowing. I felt her Carloy focused her all her nerves on her.

Ka, who responds with her whole body to even her touch, was completely Lilian's. From head to toe, from body to soul. All of them were hers.

It's mine that you don't need to share with anyone at all.......

The joy of possessing that she had something completely overwhelmed Li Lian. The beautiful boy she saved gave his life to her. With the endless possibilities in the time of the long life that will unfold in the future. With the space of hope that can turn even unhappiness into happiness.

As time passes, moments will come with more happy days than those of unfortunate days. clearly.

"......The gift is right."

Only then was she able to affirm the past for everything that had been with him.

Carloy looked up at Lirian with a dazzling expression for a moment, then slowly wrapped her back head with her one hand. Her breath descended and her lips carefully touched. Her tongue gently entangled between her shyly touched lips, as if dealing with something fragile. Her lips, which were very short, quickly fell off.

"Not here."

Karloy muttered in a half-locked voice. His eyes were looking only at Lirian to the extent that it was burdensome.

“Well, what can't. what."

Lyrian gave strength to the hand that held Karl Roy's shoulder as if pushing him away with a reddish face, but there was no beginning.

"You know."

Carloi held Lirian as it was and strided up her stairs. Lyrian didn't know what to do and buried her face on Carloy's shoulder as it was. He couldn't meet other people.

He thought he wasn't so emotional, but he wasn't immune to this. He became accustomed to the misfortunes like the air and was very weak to happiness.

"What do you know, I know..."

"I don't know why. You probably haven't read all the books I sent you by now."

When it comes to sending me a book that only does things like that, night and day, Lirian tried to avoid recalling the contents of the book.

"Crazy......"

As I lifted her head, I saw Karlroy smiling. She must have been teasing. Lirian glared at him in a nasty heart. Then Karloy suddenly stood in the middle of the stairs.

“Why keep making jokes not jokes.”

With a smile on his lips, Carloy looked impatient. Isn't he really crazy? Lirian stopped making a soft expression. He wasn't kind of looking at him, he was staring at him, this crazy guy......

"I didn't do anything... you're weird."

As if he didn't care about Lyrian's thoughts, Karloy climbed the stairs at a pace that wasn't comparable to before. It was a bedroom in the blink of an eye. As if he couldn't wait for someone to open it, he opened the door with his feet.

Lirian thought in the midst of confusion. Everyone must have seen it. He must have seen Olivia Donna. What would you have thought. Maybe it is also being evaluated as'Furturan.......'.

"It's amazing. I guess you've got a different idea in the middle of this, you."

Lillian groaned subconsciously as Karloy muttered while kissing her neck.

"As my own crazy chicks ........"

Carloy laid Lirian on her bed and climbed up a stride. The only thing I could see was Karloy, so now I couldn't really think about anything else. He didn't make a special expression, but it looked more weird, so Lirian thought blankly. I must be crazy too.

"I don't mean I hate it."

His lips sank again. At first, it came in contact with care, but when Lirian reacted with her lips slightly wide open, Carloi hurriedly wandered into her.

Lirian stuttered his hand, feeling hot and out of breath. He thought the sheet would be caught, but all he touched was Karlroy's sturdy arms and hands holding his side. As soon as Lirian touched it, he snatched it and fixed it on top. The clasped hands were hot.

With her tongue entangled insanely, Lirian fluttered her body without knowing it. At that moment, Carloy briefly lifted his lips. A breath that couldn't be continued lingered, and Karloy stared at Lirian as though it were piercing. Lirian's chest was irregularly rising and falling.

"I......."

Before Lyrian could say anything, his lips came back. Unfinished words groaned and flowed out as if cut off.

Unable to think of anything, Lyrian gasped, and she hugged him as if hanging from his neck. He willingly handed over my neck and shoulders and sat Lilian on top. Then I took her breath as it was. As if to take everything, Carloy left a deep kiss from Lirian's neck to her collarbone.

"knife..."

Even his name came out like a moan. Carloy paused at the call and slowly exhaled. His body felt him breathing.

Carloy, who had been doing it for a long time, organized Li Lian's clothes. It was a slow touch. When Lirian, looking down a little blankly, made eye contact, he kissed him lightly. It was a fresh and light kiss that was incomparable to the previous one, but the residual heat remained.

“At first it was really a joke.”

He muttered with a faint smile. Lirian looked at him as if he was observing him, as if something could be read from that expression, but Carloi turned her back and hugged her in her back. He couldn't even see his face. He put her up and muttered, as if his body would be her Lyrian's bed.

“...... When will Delfinan go? It seems to be late today, should I go tomorrow.”

Even with her awkwardly turned topic, Carloi hugged her further as she watched Lirian nodded her quietly and her dog.

She couldn't get to the end. Because her momentary reminded me of the day she first met her in her Four Two. Lyrian, who shed endless tears beneath him.

That day he shouldn't have held her like that. Let me be assured that she shouldn't have gotten so sick. The regret was too late.

Lyrian, leaned against Carloy's back and wriggling, carefully grabbed his hand.

"knife."

Lirian's calling on his name always felt like forgiveness and salvation to Karlois. Even when she was Yvonne Delua.

“I’m glad you came today.”

Lirian said in a small voice. Strangely, Carloy seemed to be in tears. I'm not even a kid...

He silently buried his face on Lyrian's shoulder. Why does it feel so big that I can lean on it even though it is so small? Carloy continued to think of her words while holding Lyrian.

<The gift is right.>

Overwhelming joy and overwhelming regret were mixed together. Still... he was someone who could be something. He's someone who can make any sense to her.

He closed his eyes, thinking that he wanted to fill Lirian's life with a day like a gift.

***

Lyrian, who had thought of canoeing in Delfinan at best, was amazed at the size of her larger ship than she thought.

“It was hard to bring it.”

Lyrian's shock was even greater when she saw Asher grunt next to her ship.

“Did you come too?”

Lirian's question changed Asher's expression. For some reason, it seems like you're looking pathetic to Lillian...

“Because I was with you on the stairs.”

Lirian's face turned red at Asher's answer. Do you mean where the hell were you standing on the stairs?

“If you leave me alone, there are two, people, but they ignore it like that, and they are bewildered.”

After learning the Korean language from Alexis, only the vocabulary of criticism increased.

"Sorry. I didn't know."

Lirian responded and glared at Karloy. Carloi didn't even think of avoiding her gaze and she laughed blatantly.

"I didn't know, but I can't help it. So, Asher, my sister said it. Make a pretense."

She even blamed Asher for her skillfulness. She should be nasty, but the laughter looks good, so Lirian bit her mouth. Carloy reached out her hand.

"Come on, Your Majesty."

After Lyrian got on the boat, she was followed by Karloi.

Seeing Lyrian looking at her scenery as if he were possessed, Carloi was deeply immersed in her regrets. It is true that Delfinan is objectively beautiful regardless of his impressions, but this kind of landscape is also widespread in the capital. I will show you everything to Lirian right away.......

Lirian, as if in a good mood, took the cookies out of the basket and handed them over to Carloy.

“Try it. It's the most delicious I've ever had.”

"okay?"

"Yes, Becks is the best cook."

It was a strong expression, not like Lyrian. Then it seemed to me that I had gained a little more weight than before. Carl Roy pledged to give a rich film to a chef named Vex while biting the cookie.

"What do you think?"

Lirian asked with a face looking forward to something as if I had made it. Oh, it's cute. It's cute and I die. That thought reigned in Karlroy's mind.

It's like putting Hordu bread in when I was a kid

"delicious."

Actually, it wasn't his taste, and Purtu's cook seemed to be more delicious, but anyway, it tasted great.

“Carl, are you the first to come here?”

"No, at least once... I've seen it."

It wasn't a very pleasant memory, but now it didn't matter. Is Lyrian with you now?

Olivia Donata laughed happily as she looked at Lirian and Carloy from a distance.

“Every time your Majesty is stuck with each other, what kind of children are you like. It's stern to say this, but be cute.”

“But yesterday, you didn't look like kids on the stairs.”

She laughed as if everyone was convinced when Jane jokingly added it. Mary Ann sighed and replied.

“In a way, both of you haven't grown up since childhood.”

Mary Ann, who was doing her replies, stole her red eyes with her handkerchief. I don't know why my heart is overwhelmed. Seeing her tearful Mary Ann, Olivia lightly patted her Mary Ann's hand.

“Oh, my maid. Don't cry for something like this. In the future, there will be only things that will be happy, but if you cry every time you do that, your eyes will get sore."

At Olivia's sweet words, Mary Ann let her tears go away and she shed more. Son Jimmy, who followed Karloi to La Sor Tio, patted his mother's shoulders tenderly.

It was a peaceful day. Nothing happens. The water ran smoothly, and the ship went forward endlessly.

***

The outing ended only after the sun had tilted. Karloi prepared to go straight from Delfinan to Purtu. Saying her reluctant goodbye, Karloi lightly hugged Lirian and let her go.

"I'll be back soon."

Lirian hesitated and sneakily grabbed his collar. Lirian, who had been fiddling with his clothes for a while, raised his head.

"......Go carefully."

That this wasn't what Lirian was supposed to say by looking at the hand still holding his collar. Carloi was happy that Lyrian also wanted what he was next to her, but on the one hand felt sad that he had to leave her behind. Her feet didn't fall off.

Lyrian slowly let go of his hand as Karloy stood still as if he had no intention of going. No, he tried to let go.

"I'll come soon."

Carloy grabbed his hand like a snatch and said a little hastily. Lyrian nodded his head. Even then, Carloy got on the horse only after Asher became annoyed.

Asher was a little sensitive. I think I know the reason for some reason, so Karloy and Lirian didn't go against him.

Lyrian looked behind him until Karloy became a dot and disappeared.

"You have to go in."

“Yes, it should be.”

He said yes, but Lyrian's eyes were still in the empty place.

The view of the Delfinan River and the surrounding villages could be seen beyond the place where Karloy disappeared. It was a scenery that became even more beautiful after the sunset. It was beautiful, and it was regrettable. Before that time, even if I took this landscape alone, it was not regrettable at all, but it was only full, but now the river seemed to overflowing endlessly.

Lyrian stared at the sunset sky for a long time.

***

Carloi has been back and forth three more times since then, and Li Lian has met a new wife Madeleine Bellberty in the meantime.

Madeline Belle Burty was a woman as old as Olivia Donata, and she was also the maid of the ancestors, the Seonseon vs. Empress. She was a very kind and graceful person, unlike her rough and flawless impression. She just didn't laugh a little.

She said, "I don't have much to tell you."

For days and days, she constantly taught Lirian all the things that Empress Purtu needed to know, and Madeline praised him.

“I told you too much for that. I think there is still a long time left."

"Even so, I mean, it's like this."

When Madeline replied, her laughter came from Olivia's side.

“Oh, Madeline. If you say that, your Majesty will misunderstand what you are saying is a lie."

Madeline laughed for the first time at those words, and she was a smile that was hard to notice unless she looked closely.

“Sometimes we also need lies. But what she just said is true. If I tell you one, the Empress understands many things."

The more you knew, the more Purtu was a different place than Lirian thought. She didn't have a good idea about the place, but when she listened to Madeline's story, it became clear why so many continental people wanted to come to Purtueh.

Of course, Olivia Donata, with the best of Solta and La Sorthio, disagrees easily, so the two old ladies often wrestled over the subject. Listening to it, Lirian wondered about Furtuga and Croisen for the first time.

“By the way, Olivia. What happened to Becks without seeing it? The food has become more delicious. It's a little scary now."

Madeline said, eating a piece of Becks' cake.

"The last time I listened to the emperor's congratulations, people just cook all night."

On the day that Carloy gave the empress, thank you for making the Empress happy, and the day he gave a big prize, Becks sang all day long. The hum was still incessant.

“If you put the devil in your mouth, it will surely appear....... The time when the emperor appears is amazing.”

Olivia laughed and muttered as the sound of Karloy's arrival was heard from afar.

“The devil, Olivia. It must be a beautiful love to the Empress.”

As the old women exchanged jokes, only Lilian's face turned red.

“Let's make fun of it.” |

Lirian, who was standing up from the office, tried to say a word in a very strict tone, but he didn't seem to work very well. Lirian came out of the library, shaking his head for nothing. He decided to go up to the Solis Hill today with Karlois. To watch the sun set on that hill.

If you make a promise, it will be kept. The following kept happening. It was fascinating and joyful. Lyrian also understood the feeling of Becks singing his hum.

As soon as I saw Lyrian, a smile slowly spread over Karlroy's face standing next to the horse. Even though my heart was warming, I came somewhere cold.

Carloi reached out his hand, fearing that Lyrian would ride on a horse. As Lirian put mine on, Carloy first kissed her on the back of her hand.

"My love."

love. Words from his mouth seeped into her aching chest. No matter how sweet the Vex's dessert is, it won't be as sweet as that word.

He behaved like a knight kissing her lady and helped Lirian ride her horse.

“Is it okay if it’s not a wagon?”

Asked Carlo I, who reached out behind her and grabbed the reins.

"Yes, the carriage is a little stuffy. I want to ride a horse."

"Yes, whatever you want."

He replied, kissing Lirian's fine hair. Then she skillfully drove her horse, taking his love comfortably to her destination.

The sun was just setting on Solis Hill. The horse was tied to a suitable tree and the two walked up the hill. When I arrived at a moderately high place, I laid down my seat and sat next to the basket that Vex had provided.

"pretty."

Lirian whispered, looking down at her sunset scenery. Just allowing him to see Lyrian's peaceful face made him feel like he could kiss Solta's bare ground.

“Mrs. Bellberty says there are places like this in the capital.”

Lirian said as she took out her food. Karloi easily agreed. Although the feeling of the view is a little different, there are three places in the capital that are similar.

"Not only the capital, but also going down to the south is a little bit."

"like that. How about Purtu?"

As the number of times Carloi came to La Sorthio increased, Lirian felt a bit of anxiety. Going back and forth like this couldn't be good for his stamina, and he didn't seem to be able to hear good sounds from others.

“It's the same. For now, the Marquis of Roden has begun to shine again, but he's determined to be angry with me.”

“The Marquis of Roden?”

“Very opposed to all incidents....... If you say something, you whining about ruining your life by throwing away your daughter... It was the same."

Indeed, Marquis of Roden was also a poor man. Lirian felt a complex feeling of pathetic and compassionate.

“I would have told you no. It was Keana's choice.”

Carloy paused for a moment and then responded slowly.

“Well, even if it wasn't that way, I did talk similarly.”

Lirian narrowed his eyes because he was suspicious of avoiding his gaze.

"Honestly tell me. What did you say."

"I'm just telling you, but I said it after putting up with it a few times. It's not because I have a dirty personality."

"What did you say."

“I also put up with the marquis ruining the meeting once or three times.”

"Okay. What did you say."

Carloy shrugs his shoulders as he observes Lyrian's eyes.

"It's no big deal... I'm sorry, but I didn't throw it away. The daughter of the Marquis said that the Marquis had abandoned."

"Wow, you....... I wouldn't have felt sorry for it."

Looking at the expression of Lyrian, who couldn't tell whether it was criticism or admiration, maybe a mixture of both, Carloy slightly frowned on her as if it were unfair.

“I wanted you to talk harder than me, but I couldn't pass it finely. You have to see it yourself to know my heart."

“Is Marquis of Roden okay after hearing that?”

"Fuck. I cried. No, it would be correct to say that weeping."

“At a political meeting? There are all other people too?"

Carloy laughed as if laughed.

“If you just cried, it's not Roden. She cried, then fainted, and was carried away by the attendants. I think even a man will ring."

At Carloy's words, which seemed to be bored, Lirian stopped laughing at her. The scene without the answer came to my eyes so vividly as to be good. When she saw the weeping Marquis of Roden and even imagined the expression of Karlois that she would have made, she became more ridiculous and her laughter extended.

Her not loud laughter hovered in the sun-filled air. Carloi stared at her laugh-out Lilian. He has loved that laughter since childhood. When she looks at him with her smile, she feels helpless.

There were times when Lirian saw herself in her youthful heart and wished that only him would laugh. Because he hurts himself. The price of being immature was so great that I couldn't see her laugh for too long.

Lirian, who laughed for a long time, looked at Karloi at her strange silence. At that moment, her breath stopped. Thin tears were streaming down from his face in the golden sunlight. He didn't seem to breathe. She couldn't make any sound, and she only shed tears as she looked at her.

“Kal, why are you crying?”

He seemed to notice that he was crying only then. Carloy responded slowly, not even thinking of wiping away her tears.

"I thought you couldn't laugh... I thought I made you that way."

Lirian heard his confession blankly. It felt as if her heart had collapsed.

"Beside me, you'll never laugh, even if you can't laugh... I'm cowardly saying that it won't be difficult..."

Lyrian wiped away Karloy's tears with trembling hands. His face covered in sunlight and his eyes were so beautiful, but I didn't want to see only tears.

"Why can't I laugh. I'm fine now."

Seeing Karloi's shoulder trembling, Lyrian finally felt my grief aggravated.

"Don't cry, idiot. You promised not to get sick and why do you do that. You decided not to cry."

“Because my greed seems to hold you, I think I've used your sympathy to sit down. Even so, absolutely...”

Lirian will get used to her existence if she stays next to her. Then he will like him a little like he does now. With that in mind........

He eventually vomited a horse stuck in his throat. I love you, I love you, I love you........ His never-ending confession shook Li Lian's heart. But on the one hand, I wanted to hit this fool. He thought he was left with sympathy.

“You idiot, where is the person who does this with sympathy. Where is the person who loves with sympathy, I'm a real fool, you.”

The last word came out as weeping, so the pronunciation was also inaccurate. Even so, Carloi raised his head.

"what?"

Lirian responded by wiping the last tear marks on his eyes.

“I'm not in a position to sympathize with you, but what kind of sympathy are you? It hurts because I love idiots like you. Whenever you say bullshit like this, I, I go.......”

Speaking, Lirian slapped Carloy in the chest because he was absurd. This idiot, this stupid bird. It was annoying and heartbreaking to think that this might have been the cause of the anxiety or sadness that he often peeped in his face.

Carloy asked, not even thinking of stopping the hand.

“It’s love? You, me."

“Yes, you idiot. Do you sympathize with the kiss? It's really making nonsense."

Lyrian was crying now, but Karloi slowly began to laugh, as if when he shed tears.

“No, it’s not crazy, it’s not at all.”

“What’s good, laugh. Do not laugh. You may not curse Marquis of Roden. Ji is the most crying."

"......It's different from Roden. That's a bit harsh."

"If you cry in front of me one more time, don't let it go."

"Okay."

As if he were soothing a crying child, he held Lirian in his arms.

“I did everything wrong. Do not cry. I know, but how did I know. It is what you'll be like me to love a baby ....... "

“If I tell you that way, what am I? Asking if you're only crazy, don't say that, idiot.”

"Lian, you don't know. No matter how much you call me an idiot, I only laugh."

Li Lian, who was burying his face, wrapped around his neck, chewed on his name as he called it. It was only this day that I felt like I knew why he kept calling her her Lillian. One day during a painful day in Purtu, she told me not to call me by that name...

Carloy was still holding on to that word. Lilian missed my name, which no one calls anymore.

“Carl, call me, my name.”

"You called it."

"Not that, you know."

Lyrian raised her head and looked into Carloy's eyes. His expression fell apart, but fortunately this fool didn't cry this time.

"....sack."

"Huh."

“Yes, Carl… ..”

He called her name constantly, then slowly tilted her head. As her lips touched, Lirian hugged Karl Roy's neck tighter.

The evening when the sun shined for the last time was warm, and her heart was as full as the body it touched. For a very long time, she had a foreboding that she would never forget Solis of the day.

***

When she returned to La Sor Tio again, it was after the sun had set. Screaming Olivia Donata, seeing Karlroy's face shining in joy.

"Oh my gosh. When I asked where the sun of Sol Ta had gone, she was in the face of His Majesty's Majesty.”

Even at the Countess' joke, Carloy only smiled. Carloy didn't try to hide the fact that he was struggling with happiness. Lyrian grabbed the hand of a man who wasn't ashamed and dragged it inside.

“Carl, I have something for you.”

As Lirian took him to my bedroom, Karloy was dragged silently. While he sat in bed and waited, Lirian rummaged through the books and pulled out a flower.

"character."

It was a dry turang flower. The color was faded, but as it was, it was a beautiful flower. Carloy accepted the flower, unable to hide his puzzled mind. Is it because the flowers are pretty?

Lyrian said whether he had read Karloi's mind.

“It's the flower I was holding at Mach. I remember?"

Then Carloy recognized and nodded her head. He couldn't remember. The day it rained on Mach, the thoughts she had while looking at the flower are still vivid.

However, she was not easily recognizable. The flowers at that time were withered and ruined, but the flowers in their hands were still beautiful, even if they were dry.

“Olivia helped. Dry it and keep it. You can make it come alive with magic, but I hated it. You have to keep doing it several times, and if you don't, then Sydney. And it’s pretty as it is…..”

Karloi carefully touched the flower.

“You think I, maybe we are broken, but… no. We were just a little sick, and it could be okay.”

The wound will not go away. She misses her de Nis all her life and her heart will be a little hurt, and Carloi will see her and sometimes regret her. But she was able to live so well. She could be okay with her intact or without denial, adding happiness to her wounds. Lyrian learned that.

As Carloy hugged Lyrian silently, she gently wrapped his face.

Carlo yelled her mouth, as if to say what's going on, and then bite her mouth again. Lyrian seemed to know her heart, so she looked at his face and carefully kissed her on the forehead. And on his lips she only spoke stupid words.

Carloi sat Lirian on her lap, pushing her tongue through the open lips. Her long, thick kiss continued.

Carloy took a hot breath, picked up her Lilian, and laid it on her bed. Lyrian could see her eyes filled with heat from Karl Roy's eyes. The fact that today he won't stop.

***

Lirian opened her eyes early in the morning. Lirian, who blinked a few times in Carloy's arm, unconsciously recalled last night.

It was a night without any words of sorry, doubt, or tears. Only words of love and laughter exist.

Lirian smiled without me knowing, but was amazed at himself and hardened her expression. For some reason, she felt herself stupid. It wasn't time for her to swear at Carloy.

"knife."

As she turned her body and called her name, Carloy opened her eyes slowly as she groaned.

“Lou… Why did you get up early? Sleep a little more."

It was a completely locked voice.

"I'll come after a walk."

"this time?"

Carloy glances out the window at sunrise. I saw.

"wait. I go with you."

"No. I'm going alone. Wait a bit. I'm saying that if you go without saying, you'll run naked again."

Lirian gave her a stern expression, recalling her embarrassing memory at her Mach.

“Are you sure you should abandon me from this very early morning? I decide every time.”

"Yes, I have something to talk to my mom alone."

Upon hearing her words, Carloi freed her Lilian without saying anything.

“Are you going to curse me? Even so, he would be delighted to receive it.......”

“Because I saw you doing it.”

Seeing a light smile on Lyrian's mouth, Karloy exhaled satisfactorily. She laughs. That alone has done my part today.

Leaving behind the flirty Karlroy, Lirian walked towards Lake Mexus. She had something she had been thinking about for days. However, she had a first guest at Mexus.

“Duh?”

At Lyrian's call, the peacock, who was looking at the lake, with his long hair tied together, looked back.

"sire."

"When did you come? Why didn't you say anything."

"It's not been a while. I don't want to interfere with the two of them sleeping well."

Alexis, who has a softer impression than before, replied.

"But when I see you running at this time, there seems to be something urgent."

“I do, but… I have more to worry about than I thought as I tried to open the way to Mach Bernie. Still, I wait for about an hour or two. I can do it.”

“Wouldn’t it be good for Carl to go back and forth to La Sorthio like this?”

In response to the cautious empress's question, the Duke carefully chose the answer.

“I don't think you're going back and forth anymore. You're looking for a way to stay in La Sorthio these days.”

“Carloy? Is that possible?”

“It was not because it was not used as a separate palace. To find a way.......”

At the end of the blurring, Lirian knew that it was possible, but not desirable.

“No need to do that. Will I go back to Purtu? Not right now, but as soon as it is organized."

At Lyrian's words, Alexis looked surprised. It was the first time that such an expression appeared on her peacock's face, which was like a fortress on her iron wall, and Lirian looked at her in amazement.

"Is it such a surprise?"

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

Lyrian answered with sincerity. Now, really, it was okay. Alexis seemed to feel it too.

“Your Majesty is strong.”

Alexis turned his head and looked again at the lake. He seemed to know who he was thinking.

“Carl said this place is not good.”

“It's not surprising. When I came here alone, I would have felt that I felt like I loved the place a little more than my mother, my child.”

“Did you really feel that way?”

“I don't think so, but... it doesn't matter. Anyway, your Majesty must have felt that way."

Lyrian recalled the story that Karloi gave on the Delfinan River. Adelaide left him. Say the last word.

"Carloy said he said right before he died he said it was because of Carloy."

At those words, Alexis frowned.

"Is it Adelaide?"

"Because of you..."

Alexis shook his head.

"I wasn't going to say that Adelaide was because of your Majesty.

"Carloy heard the wrong thing?"

“Rather than that, I would have wanted to say that it wasn't because of you. It’s because I can’t finish it.”

“How can you be so confident? Still, because you’re a mother?"

At the question, Alexis laughed out loud. It wasn't a laughter that looked pleasant.

“No way. I don't think there was such an sensibility.”

It was a sober evaluation.

“At that moment, Adelaide would have made a judgment. If your Majesty suffered a sense of guilt, you would have judged that it would not have been good for Croixen. I would have tried to make it one last time I wanted to.

Alexis looked at the lake and added firmly.

"As for Adelaide, I can be proud that I know the best in the world. If I thought it was because of your Majesty, you wouldn't have asked me to take care of your Majesty."

The affection for his younger brother was felt from the firm and boundless confidence. Even though it doesn't sound so human, it was even more so when I saw him speak so firmly.

“But I also understand why your Majesty was forced to take it that way. It made me feel that way, alive rather than dead Adelaide.”

A self-help smile appeared on Alexis' face.

"I have lived with confidence that I am a strong person all my life .... Actually, she was weak enough to be angry with her little nephew, and she was a pathetic human being."

Alexis came out to the top of the lake and began to walk, as if to leave him.

"Compared to him, the Empress..."

The Duke didn't finish talking, but Lyrian had a son.

"Are you not going to tell Carloy?"

“If I tell you, it's a story from an ugly aunt, so it won't come in contact. I wouldn't know if the empress tells me.”

Alexis smiled very lightly. Lyrian thought that the figure resembled Karloy. It seemed to me why Alexis hadn't stopped Karloi's reckless plans to live in La Sorthio at all. Maybe it was because of my own sorry.

“I've been in the way too long, Your Majesty. There must have been someone else who would like to have a conversation.”

Alexis greeted impeccably and gracefully, and he slowly disappeared. It seemed that Lyrian had noticed that he had come to say hello to Denise. As if Lirian knew the object that Alexis thought of as she looked at the lake.

Lyrian, left alone, looked at the lake and slowly unwrapped his necklace from his neck. He was a necklace he touched to wear out several times a day.

"Mom."

The gentle wave shook as if answering.

"I miss you. As you already know."

Lirian missed Denise every day and every day and wanted to see him. There was never a day when he didn't think of De Nice to the point where he didn't have to say he wanted to see him. It will continue to be so in the future.

“That's why I bothered my mom so much. It's fluttering in my neck every day, but now I think it's okay.”

Instead of tears, a smile came out.

“Now I can think of her mother casually without forcefully holding it around my neck or giving it strength.”

No, it's a lie. Tears came out.

Lyrian stole her tears and carefully opened the lid of her necklace.

“So don’t worry about me anymore...”

As she tilted her necklace, a weak wind took Nis to the lake.

“Be free. I don't want to be her mother's prison either. You can go to Lupus and go all over the place through Mexus. Mom can travel like that.”

Then, someday, I hope to see you again, to meet and not to get sick, not to cry, to just laugh and hug you.

“If someone other than my mother calls my name, it doesn't hurt anymore.”

Lilian even put her necklace in her lake.

She said she was strong against Mary Ando, Olivia, and Alexis, all Lyrian. She said Lirian, she didn't think of herself that way.

But she knew one. She knew that it was her De Nis Duck that she ended up alive again. She was so strong and so much her absolute love that Denise gave Lirian that she could give her love or live again. As she could tell Karloi to tell her young Lyrian to run away, she was Lyrian and she could love Karloy even in Purto. She was and she was able to survive too.

Only thanks to Denise.

"I love you, mom. Always."

She didn't say goodbye to her this time. She had no need to do it.

***

"I'm worried."

In Purtu's office, the emperor spoke to the old Duke.

“There is no such thing as a good memory here. I like Sol Ta so much, but I'd better go.”

Carloi couldn't easily agree with Lyrian's plan to return to her Four Two.

"I do not know. The empress wants to come back, and he looks fine again.”

“Did she talk to her with her?”

Alexis nodded his head. Yet she was as though the Empress had not informed Karloi of her conversation at the lake. Can she tell me about Adelaide now? She wouldn't have said that.

But Alexis lightly dismissed the idea. Carloy now looked good. He doesn't have to tell a story he doesn't want. It was the first time to look so happy. That strange appearance complicated the old Duke's mind.

“If you are worried, be prepared so that you can only have a good time in Purtu. The Empress is not the one who escapes or runs away because he is tormented, so he will quickly adapt to the new Purtu.”

Carloy smiled to see if he liked the words.

"right. Lou is such a person."

It was a face that showed pride and love. She had seen a similar face one day. A face that resembles the current Karl Roy. I felt like I was wandering for a long time in another place with what I wanted closest to me.

Alexis took care of his own patheticness, and sincerely helped Karlroy what he wanted. He thought he wanted to protect that face.

“A strange look.”

When Asher came out of the office, Asher whispered for nothing and spoke as if teasing.

"I would have said that words shouldn't be that short."

"You're not crying?"

“Sound useless.”

Alexis looked sternly.

"that is great. Don't bother your Majesty for no reason, and follow along."

"Yeah, no. You were in class yesterday!"

“You need to learn more.”

Asher complained, but silently followed Alexis.

"When will the empress come back?"

“About two weeks later.”

Whenever he whined about not wanting to attend class, Asher smiled wide.

“Your Majesty will pick you up yourself, right?”

“Sounds of course.”

It's a good thing if you don't carry it yourself.

"Then I should go too."

“You are making a new sound. When you didn't go.”

“You say that, but Alexis is also excited, right? There is nothing bad about it anymore.”

The knight with a childlike side asked with transparent eyes. The somewhat frivolous word'exciting' was a little annoying, but for some reason, Alexis didn't want to bet as much as today.

"okay."

When the blunt peacock even agreed, Asher sang.

“I hope it will be two weeks later.”

As Asher wished, time seemed to flow rapidly. Purtu changed little by little over a short period of time.

About two weeks later, Karloy headed for La Soreti to pick up Lyrian. Most of the things had already been moved to Purtu, and there were only small luggage and people going to Purtu.

Lirian, who was trying to get into Carloy's carriage, shouted in surprise when she saw Olivia heading towards the carriage for Maryanne and Jane. It wasn't the shape of the person who was sending off.

"Olivia?"

The Countess laughed joyfully.

“I and Becks decided to go together. You probably don't like it, right?"

In amazement, she saw Lirian, who couldn't even speak her words, and Olivia tenderly added her words.

“It was a secret to keep you happy, but I'm sorry for being so surprised.”

Lirian still couldn't shut her mouth. For two weeks, Olivia hadn't expressed that kind of thing at all. It seemed like it was the last time and I was hiding this.

“Whatever the emperor asks! She said undeservedly saying that one of the reasons the empress liked La Sor Tio was me and Vex, but how would she refuse.”

Mary Ann stepped in next to her.

“And there are some things that were caused by Mrs. Bellberty's provocation. She said that the Countess didn't know Purtu so she couldn't have a decent discussion.......”

“Even for the old, the challenge is necessary and the wider the knowledge, the better.”

Olivia wasn't embarrassed and she replied gracefully.

Lyrian was so happy that she forgot what people were watching, and she hugged Carloy with her arms around her neck.

“Thank you, Carl.”

Lirian really liked Olivia and Becks. However, they knew how much they loved Solta, so they couldn't even ask if they would go to Purtu with them.

Carloy froze as if surprised for a moment, then smiled and hugged Lyrian.

"It's time for Purtu's chef to change too."

Lilian got on her carriage with excitement. The Four Two that she loves with her would not be unfamiliar to me. Maybe this is the feeling that Olivia took root in her life as she spoke of.

As Lirian smiled at her, Carloy kissed her lips lightly.

“Let’s go back, Lou.”

Lirian exhaled her long, long sigh. Oh, it was really a long way back. She finally went to her own place where all her Majesty was.

With her fluttering heart, the journey was not difficult. When Lyrian talked about what he wanted to do in Four Two, Carloi nodded and heard him. Macha arrived in Purtu when he made so many appointments that he could hardly remember.

After getting out of the carriage, Lirian slowly toured Purtu Palace in the dim sunlight. Like the nickname of the Golden Palace, the colorful decorations were shining brightly.

She's where she and Carloy will be together.

“What do you think?”

Carloy asked from behind her, kissing her hand.

Lirian recalled the countless advantages of Purtu that Mrs. Bellberty had boasted of. It's definitely a place that's not different from when I left, but now it looks different.

“It looks beautiful.”

Carloy did not dare to refute what his world was saying. If she said she was beautiful, even Purtu, who had hated her life, became beautiful.

"sack."

As Karloy called, Lirian turned around. Without a piece of sadness on her face, she was full of smiles. It was only when Carloy saw that smile that he was deeply convinced.

They will be fine. For a long time.

Epilogue. Emperor and Empress love.

Lyrian Lou Croitan was a reluctant empress that was loved by Karlois Croitan, a young emperor of Croixen's unpretentiousness.

There were rumors that her wife, who had gone through her eventful past, was carrying her feet so that she couldn't touch the ground in case she would get sick. There have also been rumors of leaving it behind.

No, strictly speaking, it was not a rumor, it was true. The fact that everyone in Purtu saw with their eyes and heard with their ears.

As rumored, Lyrian Lou Croitan was a pampered empress because she loved Karloi Croitan so much that she was afraid of being blown away by the wind. And that's why Croisen's nobles think Lirian Lou Croitan is great.

With the sword in his mouth, the emperor did not lose laughter as if he had all the happiness of this world next to the empress.

"Since the Empress returned, it has become much easier to deal with her Majesty. Purtu seems to be working properly now, he is disciplined, and it has become like a palace in which people live."

“I hate to see people from Solta being so energetic, but it’s a good thing anyway.”

At the national wedding anniversary party, seeing the emperor and the empress, who were stuck together without thinking of falling apart, expressed their appreciation as the nobles gave and received them.

“Whenever you pretend to kill you because you don’t like it…”

"Shh. It’s because you don’t know that talking about it at that time? Even then, it was said that if you were bored, the relationship wouldn't be too bad."

The music that showed the faint color of Solta resonated in the banquet hall. Since Olivia Donata was favored by her empress, Purtu has been able to get a glimpse into the culture of Solta without any boredom. Even the chef has changed.

“It is said that on this day, any tax will be reduced or exempted.”

"It was something I couldn't have imagined on my national wedding anniversary....."

When the emperor lifted the glass high, the nobles he had been talking to also raised the glass. After making a toast, the emperor gently kissed the empress next to him. No one was surprised to see the boy's progress.

"Anyway, doesn't it look good anyway. Peaceful and loving furtu is better than cold furtu."

Someone in a soft voice interrupted the conversation. As if everyone agrees, he quietly nodded. Soon it was assimilated to the excitement of the party and scattered around. The party didn't end long.

<完>

THE END.

You will notice that the fifth book is shorter than the rest of the books.
As for the end, I really have no comment.

tsmytien · Mar 29, 2021

tysm for all these spoilers! tbh usually a bawl at angst scenes especially the ones filled with regret (but only when the regret is valid and FL/ML isn't a douche for idiotic reasons), but this time I THREW A ONE PERSON PARTY IN MY ROOM AT 2 IN THE MORNING WHEN I READ THIS because HA THIS A*SHAT DESERVED THAT REGRET.

also, i wish that after ML takes the pain from the poison into his body (and, you know, regrets a whole f*cking lot) the FL would die and then he could regret for the rest of his life

Victo.gg said: ↑

15. The empress hates the emperor (1)

The first sight he saw when he arrived at the top floor of the Delua Tower after clearing up all the non-threatening soldiers was unpleasant at all. At the entrance of the door, the owner of the house was snaring with her neck on her neck, and as she walked inside, she saw Carlo I crying with the empress in her arms.

And next to him was a man in a black robe, and behind him, a Duke of Delua, with a familiar dagger on his neck, was dead with his eyes open.

"sire."

Asher called Carloi, but Carloi just hugged her empress's body and kept crying. Asher, who had never seen Karloy cry so terriblely, spoke with a confused voice.

"Your Majesty, wake up."

"..... bring the therapist here right now."

"From here? I think it would be better to go somewhere else........"

It didn't seem like an appropriate idea to heal anyone in a corpse.

“You went by yourself.”

Karloy, with wide open eyes, said hoarseness.

“Because you are the fastest. Pick up the healer and bring him here to the duke's residence."

As he couldn't say he didn't like it, Asel exited the Delua Tower.

Asher wanted the empress not to die. She didn't know that if she died, Carloy would also die. No, I was sure. And Croisen, without Karloi, wasn't very meaningful to Asher.

It was noisy outside, but it seemed to be roughly organized. Duke's people were lined up like prisoners. Somewhere in the distance, the rising smoke made the sky hazy. The fall of Tellua was as vain as the smoke.

****

When Asher brought the therapist back to the Duke's residence, Karloy's condition remained the same. The difference was that he was rubbing the limbs of the empress, but it was like crying and calling her name Lu.

The therapist, who seemed surprised by the sight of the body, soon began skillfully examining the condition of the empress at the place of death.

"The hidden is stuck."

The therapist, who had stopped bleeding in first aid, opened his mouth. It's an ominous nuance, as Carloy could see.

"What does that mean?"

Seeing the emperor appearing to be insane, the therapist felt both pathetic and compassionate. I wondered if I was so unfaithful just by getting hurt.

"The wound is not deep, but the body is too weak to withstand this wound. I don't know when to become conscious."

“Then how...”

“For now, I have no choice but to wait. And we have to move to the capital as soon as possible.”

Carloi nodded his head, fascinated.

"And there are traces of this scar... Healing magic. I guess I have received the magic to make the scar invisible. I heard that there was a dedicated therapist, so this was the reason?"

The therapist tilted his head as he couldn't understand why the hell had such a scar on the daughter of the duke duke. Only Carloy's heart was depressed.

Asher spoke carefully to Karloi, who was just shed tears.

“I heard while coming, that Count Anssen took all his troops and there was Delford City. However, the power was poor, and Clyde Anssen arrived faster than expected and joined Byeon Baek.”

When Karloy heard Asher's words, there was no reaction. He continued to sit down, hugging Lyrian.

Nothing came to life. He can't believe that Lyrian, who he thought was dead, returned, but that he had been in front of him until now, that he fell in my arms like this, everything was like a lie. The truth that came suddenly was too heavy.

"Your Majesty, you have to wake up."

The therapist quietly called Carloy.

“I don't know how the situation is going, the more it is at times like this, but I do know that something happened between Her Majesty and the Duke of Delua.”

“To find out what happened, your Majesty must be alert. Even for the Empress... I think that would be good."

At that moment, Carloy nodded shortly at his head. After he saved Lou he had to know the truth. And I decided to find her mother.

".....Ah."

"Yeah?"

“Go and tell the soldiers. Go through every house and find a middle-aged woman named De Nice, and she's probably not feeling well.”

“Is that the end of the clue?”

“Send a scorpion to the city of Delford. Search all over there and find it.”

"......Yeah."

“And here, everything in the Duke of Delua is taken to Purtu. I don't know what evidence is there.”

Asher lifted his head and began to move quickly. Carloy grabbed Lyrian's hand and muttered insanely.

"please......"

Without knowing who he was talking to, he cried. The therapist looking at him sighed and looked around him. It was a really unpleasant place. If the emperor woke up at least a little, the empress would have to be moved to a better place. I don't know if she'll wake up.

***

It took just two days for Delua to be completely captured. It collapsed so easily, so quickly. The Duke was dead, and Count Anssen was a man who did not know how to fight with all his power. It was initially impossible for such a person to withstand both Louisa Routine and Clyde Anse.

Clyde Anssen returned with the neck of the half brother who persecuted me. The sight seemed like a natural consequence. Del Lua laid her throat to her that her daughter, and An Seine to her brother.

Everything seemed to end with a smoothness that didn't go well with the war, but not as much as one.

“The woman? She is dead. I jumped off the tower.”

“I didn't even know that people were living, but suddenly people fell from the tower. who? I don't know, I was the first woman I saw. when? It's been more than ten days.”

“I don’t know where the body is.......”

The duke's employees gathered their mouths to testify that Denise was dead. Karloy fell into despair. The fact that he couldn't keep even this promise drove him crazy.

The fact that he could or couldn't do anything to Lirian struck him every time he breathed. No, I'd rather be glad if I had nothing to do with it. Didn't he keep harassing her?

He wanted to find a corpse, but he couldn't be left here. Lyrian's consciousness did not return, so he had to go to the capital as soon as possible.

“Wouldn’t it have been burying the body? I don't think I can find anything already buried in the ground."

Asher muttered.

"Then there are no ones who buried it. It seems that a maid named Jung Hwang-sang's maid, the daughter of the chief, disappeared at the same time. You know something."

Carlos looked at Louisa Routine next to him.

“Look more closely while organizing the Delois. I will definitely stay here."

“Yes, well… I see.”

Louis Zae replied, as to what was still going on. Delua's daughter killed Delua? Why? Byeon Byeon-baek's consciousness situation remained at that question.

And why is the Emperor Ji-Shaped? I thought I would be happy that Lua was easily captured, but when I arrived, I saw only humans who were crying and holding onto all the dying futures. Even now, I didn't shed tears, just looking at her face looked like she had suffered a terrible wound.

Even if not, everything is confusing. Now, the Baek Baek is brief, but he had to manage the estate of Delua.

Half of the troops descending to Delua remained in Delua to prepare for the invasion of Bernie, and the rest headed to the capital with Karlois.

Carloy got into a carriage with Lyrian and the therapist. He didn't try to leave Lyrian's side tolerantly. Look big house next to the revolving like a son of a bitch who lost the primary to cheoryanghae had seen.

“Why the hell isn’t there so much difference?”

Looking at the emperor's face, asking impatiently, the therapist told a hypothesis that he had been thinking alone for several days.

“......I'm not sure, but I wonder if it's poisoned.”

"You mean poison?"

"Otherwise, because there is nothing else that can explain this physical condition. Or, is it true that the Duke said that his daughter was weak? If you had such a fragile body, staying in a capital prison would have ruined your body very well."

Carloy put my face in Lyrian's hand. The more I heard it, the more I knew it, the more painful it was. Thought he didn't deserve to suffer, he was still in pain. In his mind, everything he said to Lyrian was constantly repeated. There was no regret.

“......Please, Lou, I can't just let you hear those words. only once."

The emperor buried her face, holding her hands tightly. There was a deep cry in his voice. However, Lyrian didn't wake up until he arrived at Four Two.

***

With Mary Ann's confession, Purtu turned upside down. Mary Ann's statement coincided with the empress's story that Asher wrote in her letter. Her maid, Lady Ruen, who had been imprisoned with her, was denied, but when she heard of Del Rua's charter, she eventually accused her of everything, subject to commuting.

All Purtu was in shock and people turned upside down. Bernie's magic was beyond the conceivable range of the imperial man, and scholars debated eagerly. All of Delua's daughters were false, and all the nobles raised their voices.

The truth was a disaster for Alexis, who was in charge of Purtu. When the Empress was an obvious enemy, nothing was difficult except for Karloi's feelings. But now, the existence of the Empress itself was full of contradictions.

“I'm an illegitimate child. An empress from an illegitimate child, this is not possible in Croisen."

"Yes. She is an illegitimate child because she is not enough to be Del Lua's daughter!”

Many aristocrats knew the truth and opposed it, but it wasn't that easy for Alexis.

“Although.”

“What is it?”

"Is it possible to make such a knife-like decision even though the circumstances of betraying Del Lua and helping her Majesty have been revealed?"

Keana was a little harder than Alexis. She claimed that she had no reason for the Empress to retire from her current position.

“Yes, she could save her life if she takes that credit into account. But the Empress is nonsense.”

“I even drank poison instead of Your Majesty. What can I do more than this?"

“There is an easy way. Her Majesty just needs to be the Empress. It is not that there is no history of becoming an empress from an empress."

“Stop the nonsense.”

Even before her words were over, she saw Kia me cutting cold, and Alexis guessed. She said that Keana would not have only her emotional reasons for defending her empress, and she said that Del Rua's daughter sitting in her empress's seat gave her Keana her many benefits. It will be done.

“She doesn't make any sense that she's sitting in the empress's seat anyway. Even if she died by being stabbed instead of by a knife, not by poison.”

Despite the lukewarm reaction of Keana and Alexis, the public's opinions seemed to be gathering together, but variables soon emerged. In Del Lua, news arrived that it was her Empress who killed the Duke with Victory.

Porto's debate has become sharper than before. Because everyone knew well that the reason Delua's fall was easy was because the head of the Duke died.

Now, the Empress is not the daughter of the rebels who fled from Purtu, but the brave who went to kill her own father, even making her escape.

“Yes, well, it’s a great ball, no matter how well you look at it, it’s even the empress. Anyway, the Duke's daughter is a daughter.”

“Don’t your ancestors betray the same side in that way in the war and get a place for lords with their credit?”

“No, what do you say! It's not like that and this, I'm not an illegitimate."

"Oh my, sometimes I say it's a problem because I'm a daughter, but even if I'm far away, it's a problem because I'm not a true daughter."

"Because the words came out, it's time to change that attitude. Look at Clyde Ansene."

"Yes."

"What's right? They're making funny sounds."

“You have already built a lot of balls and are recognized by Mach. How embarrassing is it to be sent to another country because Croisen could not be treated properly.”

The debate flowed out of control as the minority nobles, whom Keana had secretly embraced, offered progressive opinions.

"Why doesn't the ball say anything?"

Keana quietly asked Alexis, who didn't give any opinions despite all the fuss.

“...... I don't know.”

Alexis answered honestly. Problems with the empress's behavior, or Croisen's illegitimate child, these things seemed a little vague to Alexis.

What I felt more directly was upset. The past and the empress's strange fate, which the emperor blamed for thinking that he contained a person he should not have in his heart, wandered in Alexis' head at the same time.

Yvonne del Lua was the daughter of Del Lua, but she was not. Could it be that the person who received such treatment from her father could be her daughter?

“But you can't say that you don't know the ball forever. Other nobles, not me, will ask for your opinion. I think you'll use the age as a weapon to represent the custom.”

By the time Keana's notice of pressure was felt on her skin, Karloy returned to Purtu. With the victorious army and the dying empress...

***

The emperor's position was not the same as before, when he returned from destroying his strong silence. The rebellion was also an opportunity for purge.

However, he did not seem to be victorious, but rather as a man suffering terrible misfortune. And the emperor did not leave for a single moment next to the empress. The people of Purtu were puzzled by the appearance. He didn't know when he had died like that and couldn't live like that.

When the conditions were in place to be healed, Karl Roy told the therapist that he would bring Lilian back to life at all costs. The therapist was a tired face, but his head nodded anyway.

Mary Ann, who was crying while holding the dying empress, was also in a different way because she was in prison for a long time.

"I'm sorry, my Majesty. What should I do ...... I wanted to see her mother, but how do I do this ......"

Worries about her missing daughter lost her presence in front of the unfortunate empress, who suffered so much loss.

“So I will send it to you when you ask for it to be sent only once. You've only believed it once!"

As Mary Anne cried, she shouted at Carloy. Now Mary Ann had nothing to see in her eyes.

She had nothing more.

Even after seeing her maid in front of her emperor screaming in front of her emperor, Carloi said nothing, with her face buried in Lirian's hand. She wanted to if she could save De Nice's life when she died.

<Thank you, Your Majesty. Thank you very much.>

When she said she could go to Del Lua, she had to think about why she liked it so much and why she laughed so brightly. I should have wondered why I'm so happy with something else, something trivial.

“Lou....... please.”

With a hoarse voice, Karloy constantly begged. No, he should have recognized it in the first place. After meeting the swamp was deep and dark. There was no end to fall, and more and more things to regret. It should have been like this. No, it should have been more. No, no, she should have done that much more before. The regret that he couldn't give any answer only choked him.



When I looked into Lyrian's closed eyes, Asher's words came to mind. When I thought about how much I would have cried in front of myself, how much I would have cried when there was no one in front of me... I really just wanted to die.

<It was very frantic if he said he would hit his cheek to get his mind up.>

When I looked at Lean's lean cheeks, I remembered the words. I don't think there are any corners left to hit, but how...

If I try to guess the feeling that he should have gone down to Delua while doing so, he wanted to disappear from the world even though he could guess very little anyway.

Then what about Lillian, who should have accepted this pain as it was, not that little. With this thought, it seemed he knew why he was closing his eyes like this. It seems that I can still hear Lyrian's voice whispering for a rest because it hurts so much.

Would she be okay if she took this life herself? No.

His time was constantly wandering through the dark past, where only mistakes exist, and returned to the present, where only terrible consequences remain, and during all that time, Carloi hated himself and thought of Lyrian.

As her therapist was examining her empress with her serious face, Mary Ann cried out in a crying voice.

“How do I start with that poison?”

When her therapist first opened her eyes, as if hearing it for the first time, Mary Ann vomited crying at Carloy instead of her therapist.

She said, "Did you not know yet? I was drinking poison instead of His Majesty!"

Karl Roy, who thought he couldn't be more pale, turned pale.

"They drank the poison that the peacock gave him to feed his majesty, and he drank it for him. I was foolish! I thought this would be..... I thought that was useless. No one would know it. I did it.”

Mary Ann is now starting to cry. Carloi, who had been vacant for a moment, soon recalled the people who had testified that the Empress had tried to poison the emperor.



And Lyrian, begging for no, ...... Ka He, Roy, vomited a short groan. His swaying gaze ran into Alexis Dunya. It was a peacock who didn't seem surprised.

“When the hell were you going to say it?”

At a quiet question, Alexis looked away for a moment.

“......After your Majesty calmed down a little, I tried to tell you. He has only been back one day. I didn't even sleep."

Karloi's hand holding Lirian's hand trembled. Dare, can I reach you? With what qualifications, I couldn't let go of his hand, and I couldn't fully grasp it.

I couldn't figure out what the hell he had drank such poison. How could I....... How could he, who is not someone else, make himself so painful to Lu? What were all the promises made in the cave?

Life always meant little, wasn't friendly to him, or gave him nothing, so it was natural that he lived without knowing the meaning of unhappiness. Even when I thought Lou was dead... .. It was painful, but I thought it would happen to him. Because he can't be given what he wants.

But now I thought I knew what was called unhappiness. What if it was not unhappiness that made the only meaning to be ruined with my own hands, myself, and without a gap?

"sire......."

Gorten quietly summoned the Emperor who only closed his eyes and cried quietly, but Carloy didn't answer. He was just terrible. His own foolishness, Lirian's misfortune, all this.

As he subsided into unbearable self-doubt, he felt fine movements in his hands.

"......sack?"

The eyelids of his pale face, lying without motion, were shaking very weakly. Even thinking that he wasn't deserving of holding his hand, Carloi grabbed Lyrian's hand and hung up for a while, as if holding a line of life.

"Lou, please."

His closed eyes opened very softly to see if he had heard his call.

“… … knife?"

The voice was so small that it was hard to hear even when it was very close. Carloi tried to answer, but his throat was choked and no voice came out. Lirian, who had blinked his eyes a couple of times, exhaled hard.

"Mom is......?"

The embarrassment and regret ran over the faces of everyone present. Carroy couldn't give any answer. I made numerous promises, but nothing I kept.

"Mom is."

".....sack."

“You said you were looking for it.”

Tears from Karloi's eyes ran through Lyrian's hand.

"why are you crying. It wasn't that my mom couldn't find it. Mom is alive.”

"Sorry......."

Lyrian's face was distorted when he heard Karloi's whispers.

“Okay, the peacock said that her mother was dead, but that's a lie, Carl.”

When Lyrian had finished his words, he coughed badly, and Carloy was surprised and looked over his skinny body. The therapist and the maid erected the empress's body slightly so that he could cough.

"Tell me a lie......."

Lyrian gave strength to his hand holding Karlroy. But even that was a very weak force.

Carloi shakes his head. He couldn't see the face.

"No. No... not all."

Lyrian shook his head like crazy and soon coughed again. The coughing sound was not so severe, and blood leaked from the wound that had not healed.

"sack!"

At the same time as Carlos yelled in surprise, Lirian fell again.

"No. No, Lou......”

Carloy hugged Lyrian's fallen body and cried. Everyone turned their eyes to the terrible scene that could not be seen with their eyes open.

“Please....... If I die, I will die. I will do everything you ask.”

Even Mary Anne, who was pouring out resentment at Carloy, saw her and dripped her eyes to see if she had lost her words.

"It's my fault......."

If this were a punishment, nothing would be more effective. It was because there was only one person to blame and the only one who wanted to kill himself. However, he is still not completely punished, as he has a useless life and Lou cannot.

Carloi cried until there was no voice and made a mistake. But no one punished him. He refused to open his eyes, as if the only one to condemn him would not be able to bear his existence. Even punishment was too much for him.

***

It wasn't long before a poison of no idea what was found in the Delua estate was discovered. The poison in the small vial from the corpse of the wizard Bernie had the same composition as the medicine left in Duke Delua's tableware, and it looked like a medicine that the empress drank instead of the emperor.

Scholars and healers from the capital gathered and began to study Bernie's poison. Even sorcerers came from Mach and Lartua to investigate the necklace of the wizard Verni.

The emperor's healer did his best to heal the empress with all this data. He did everything he knew. She was not for the empress, but for her emperor. She said it was unlikely that the emperor would wake her up unless the empress was awakened.

All her work was entrusted to Alexis Dunya, and the emperor stood next to the empress. He became more and more like a crazy person. Her eyes did not leave the empress.

"But the more you stay like that, the more public opinion doesn't just get better...? There are still quite a few people who say that you have to destroy the empress."

“The humans of Purtu have no affection. Terrible humans.”

Gorten clenched his teeth as if he was trembling. Apart from thinking about what Karloy's feelings would be, isn't it pitiful for the empress's spooky circumstances? She said that.

"What are you talking about?"

Gorten jumped in surprise at Karlroy's voice suddenly heard. I didn't seem to care about this, so I was whispering, but I couldn't even think that it would have been heard.

"Ah....."

“You ask what you’re talking about.”

The attendant, who was already standing next to Karlroy's face, was on the verge of fainting. This is because the appearance of the fortress Karl Roy was more terrifying than the war demons.

Gorten replied with despair.

"It's the way you heard it......."

The voice crawled in, but

Cool anger filled Karlroy's face. Gorten worried that his bloodshot eyes might burst.

"Call Dunya."

The emperor, who did not take a step from the empress's bedroom, gave the order.

Soon after, Alexis Dunya arrived, suffering from various public affairs and bullshit from nobles. Alexis' face looked as tired as Gorten.

“What is it?”

"Are you letting go of that bullshit?"

Alexis didn't really ask if a capable peacock had the ability to know what he had cut back and forth.

"I'm not saying that the people of Kroisen would do it. Still, it's a good level. It's because I'm only asking for decommissioning without any other decline in status."

“By cutting his throat or confiscation of his property, he makes no other noise.”

Despite the overbearing voice, Alexis didn't respond much.

"Well. Those are the only ways to inspire backlash. The civil war has not been over. A more certain way is to wake up with His Majesty."

Alexis replied, rubbing his eyelids as if tired.

“Now, when Delua has also fallen, your Majesty's asylum is most effective. You'll be afraid of reason rather than your Majesty's feelings.”

"Would it be more effective than having a throat cut?"

Alexis sighed briefly, looking at a face that was about to slaughter a person with a knife at any moment.

"Your Majesty, remember that you are the only one who has a strong heart to protect the empress in this Purtu. Don't think of Ammon. Don't be like someone who doesn't have tomorrow. Think about the future."

The emperor, who groaned for a moment, quickly sat down on his chair, covering his face.

".....I know that the ball wasn't wrong."

Alexis realized again that pain could be felt even in his voice. The pain that had soaked in moistly came out of the joints.

“But without Lu, there is no need for tomorrow..... I have always lived with that kind of mind, but now what….”

If it weren't for Lou anyway, it was a life that would have ended a long time ago. If there was a regret for the extra life she had earned from her luck, she was no longer with it. For those who can't even feel my work right away, the future was a luxury word. It was just another meaning of hell.

“I don't know what to do. I can't let it die, but I can't even ask for alive.”

The emperor's shoulders began to tremble as if he was speaking to himself.

“That's why I am, that person is like that. I tell you to die..... to disappear....... to say that.”

Carlos began to cry out loud, then leaned over to Alexis standing in front of him.

“Because it’s okay for me to die… I want to turn the time. No, I just want to disappear. I shouldn't have been born."

Alexis lost his words and looked down at his nephew. He had no one to hang on to, so he was begging himself to be difficult to say of his family.

“That was right. That I'm a useless human being... my mother was right, and I was just right.”

Alexis was so embarrassed that he had a face that didn't know how to do it.

“The ball is smart. It's dunya. There will be some way. Please...... How do you say... Then I will do whatever I tell you to do, even now......."

Does he know what he is asking for? Not to a wizard, but to a general.

Karl Roy, who didn't cry that much even in childhood, cried young and muttered like crazy.

“There is nothing I can do. I didn't know there would be anything like this. I can't even beg for doing it wrong.”

As his distressed voice began to tremble, Alexis hesitated and laid a hand on his shoulder.

“....There are quite a few traces of the Wizard of Verni found in Delua, so scholars are investigating it together. I'll figure out anything soon.”

Soothing or comforting someone was harder than I thought. Alexis herself was awkward.

“What can I do. You have to wake up... you can ask what you want. And since Byeon Byeon-baek is constantly looking for the whereabouts of his mother, even if it's a body soon...”

Alexis couldn't finish his words. It was because the empress's face with no blood was caught in his eyes. Duke Roh, who witnessed too much misery and suffering for one person, had a complex heart.

“I think my very existence is... torture to that person. It might be better for me to die now.”

Carloi seemed to have never realized his facts as Alexis, whom he was talking about who had so wished. To that extent he didn't seem sane.

“After that, what will happen to the empress?”

Still, whether he could hear what the other person was saying, or whether he was awakened to the empress's comments, Carloi stopped talking to himself, which sounded like weeping.

Maybe Lilian, who needs to retire from the Empress's position, can take care of one of my bodies.

“...There will be a maid.”

“The person may feel his own affection or responsibility to the empress, but... not the empress. The maid won't make much sense.”

"Is it meaningless?"

“...Hate or resentment is also strength.”

Carloy didn't answer. Is it good to make Lirian live his life with feelings of hatred or resentment? It wouldn't be.

However, when he sees Lilian, who is still breathing in front of his eyes, he is clinging to him without his knowledge. He didn't mindlessly, disgustingly, one day telling Lyrian that he was disgusting.

Carloy started crying and making a flattering laughter.

He went crazy and spit that out. It was so ridiculous that he had spoken such words on the subject, the most disgusting human being, without even knowing the subject. All the words he spoke to Lyrian, everything he did, was not a formless past. All of it was tied and wrapped around Lyrian's neck like a rope, and the weight of his memory crushed him.

"sire."

Alexis called for Karloi, who seemed to be insolvent, but he didn't stop laughing. He laughed so he was disgusting. Even his own tears shed his own stink.

Carloy laughs, cries, and becomes nauseous. Go, I thought before long. He says that even if he doesn't take his own life, maybe this disgusting stench will suffocate himself.

***

While Karloy withered and dried up like fallen leaves stomped in the empress's bedroom, scholars and therapists analyzed much of the magic and poison.

There wasn't much difference to the naked eye, but the emperor's therapist said that the empress's condition was slightly better than before. It wasn't a few days later that the words weren't false, and the Empress was awakened for a very short time.

But even after she awakened to how weak her body was, it took another long time for a voice to flow out of her mouth.

Her empress Carloy, who sat next to her like an invoice, responded like a madman to her empress's call.

"knife."

"Here it is. Just say anything. I will do everything I tell you.”

Carloy replied, terrified, as if he would fall again anytime soon. Lilian blinked. Her eyes were blurred.

“.....I have a request. Just listen to one.”

Still, the voice seemed to go out, and there was no power. Carloy's eyes were sore and he bit his teeth. Still, he was grateful that he was asking for a favor.

"I will do anything. Anything..."

Lirian looked at Karloy for a while without an answer. Her eyes seemed to blame Carloy, who had never kept her promise.

“I will do what you tell me to do.”

The emperor ran to the empress like an insane man.

"I'm a little....."

Lirian whispered.

“Kill it.”

For a moment, his head rang, and Carlo looked blankly at Lyrian.

"Please... kill me."

Fear encroached on Karloy. He couldn't say anything and hardened in the spot. Lyrian's face was blurred as if he thought his reaction was rejection.

“Please, please…”

With a pleasing voice, water from his eyes flowed from his face.

“It’s because it’s so sick. I can't do it anymore... I can do this much. please......"

Lyrian, who was sobbing, closed his eyes as if distressed. Pain flowed constantly from his closed eyes. Those tears struck Karlroy's chest. He was sincerely asking for a request that he could hardly be given.

If I had told him to die, he could have done it. But how.....

To Lirian, who asked for something he couldn't do, Karloy couldn't give a positive or negative answer.

"Sorry....."

He ended up saying things he had repeated countless times.

"Sorry. I......"

Lyrian shook his head hard to see Karlroy, who couldn't speak.

“If you're sorry, listen. You can do this one, too.”

I told Lyrian that the only thing her Carloy could do was kill her.

"sack......"

Carloy cried like a child. Like a child who had erred and cried wider, he saw no way to turn back the mountain of false past.

“I'd rather me, I'd rather me.”

Lyrian shook his head when he saw Karloi, choked by the cry of penance, and couldn't keep up with his words.

“It doesn’t mean I won’t be sick if you die… Please, Carl. I can do this much

You know."

How can I think of that? Carloi felt like an endless punishment.

“How do I.......”

How do you think I can kill you

The thought did not come to the end. Because a terrible enlightenment struck him.

He has already killed her many times, her countless times. I wish I died so, I'm directly into my mouth.

My stomach was rumbling and a terrible weight came up. That death piled up, and now Lyrian was like this. He himself was the one who could kill her to her Lyrian.

"I."

I closed my mouth again. There was nothing he could say. It was none other than Mary Ann who stopped the meaningless conversations filled with pain and tears.

"No!"

Mary Ann, who was listening to her empress's words blankly, came close at some point and hesitated at the feet of her bed and cried.

“I haven't even found Denise yet. Your Majesty... No. You still have to see Denise. So just a little...”

It was not known how far the words reached, but Lyrian stopped begging for his death. Instead, he sobbed and looked for Denis. Then, not long afterwards, it was quiet again when the energy was exhausted.

Scared of the silence, Carloi wanted to call Lirian's name, but he couldn't come out of his mouth. Not doing this or that, the therapist carefully informed him that he had only fallen asleep to Karloi, who was only looking at Lyrian.

But even when he heard that, Carloy didn't respond. He just sat still and watched Lyrian Bay. For a very long time.

He has Gorten rushed to him and he is waiting. It didn't move until the time to deliver the news of Redun.

"Your Majesty! A scorpion came from Marchia."

Finally, I found Denis.

***

Mary Ann's daughter Jane was found in her countryside in the corner of the Deloitte estate. In her first few days, she didn't know what was going on outside, and in the next few days, she had fallen down because of her runaway. She was stunned, and after her soldiers found and treated Jane, she was identified.

She found De Nice's body, once buried by Jane, and a message arrives stating that she is coming up to the capital with the two.

“I'm glad though. Find her body ......”

Even at Gorten's murmurs, Karloy was quiet.

Is it fortunate? I wasn't fortunate about anything that happened to Lyrian. What will Lirian do after checking Denise?

Seeing Karloy as if his soul had disappeared, Chiryo-sa hesitated and opened his mouth. She wondered if what she found out would cheer up the emperor.

“Well, Your Majesty. The poison analysis is complete."

Carloy looked at the therapist with her dimmed eyes.

"It's a poison that causes hallucinations and delusions, and it's a poison, but once a lethal amount is not inhaled... And now that proper treatment is possible, you don't have to worry too much. It will take a little longer."

“Can you treat it?”

"Yes, I don't know the cause now. But it seems to cause chest pain, but it seems that the lungs are not getting better, and if the treatment takes a long time, this part will be a little difficult."

"When do you think the pain has been?"

When asked an unexpected question, the therapist leaned his head for a moment.

"Well, I think it's been a while."

"..... you must have been so sick from a long time ago."

Carloy muttered blankly.

"I drank such terrible poison... and what I had to drink..."

The therapist was confused and speechless when the news he had given for comfort caused the opposite result. Carloy, who kept muttering on his own, suddenly raised his head.

"You know?"

"Yeah?"

“You said you know the cause.”

The appearance of only the eyes shining from the shaggy face looked a little bizarre.

"Yeah......"

“Then use transition magic. What the pain is real can be translated.”

"Yes? It's illegal and... Who are you saying to move it then?"

As if the therapist's question didn't seem to be understood, he replied to Cahe.

“Who are you. You said it was the poison I should have drank instead.”

The therapist's face turned blue, understanding what Carloy's answer meant.

"no no. what. no!"

The therapist, shocked, spit out words randomly. The screams of Gorten from the side were added together, and the empress's bedroom was quickly filled with noise.

“What nonsense! no! You cannot die.”

It was crazy. Still, there was a lot of talk about using illegal treatments on the emperor and not to anyone else, even if his throat was blown away, he had nothing to say. If it were to heal the emperor's illness, it would be impossible to transfer it to the emperor.

“You won't die with that remedy. But if I don't use it, I'll die."

"Yes?"

“I am going to die.”

Unlike Carloy's face, he spoke too calmly, and it sounded as if he were talking about everyday life. Gorten suddenly ran out of the bedroom because the shock was so great. Still, Carloy didn't nod.

“A therapist of your size doesn't know how to do it. I wouldn't do it. Anyway, I use transition magic. Isn’t it possible to move all of them?”

"Because you still can't. No one will agree!"

“Then I can't do anything to the Empress. If I can't take back the pain I should have suffered, I'd really better die.”

Karloi got up quietly from his seat. A feeling of despair flowed out of his face, as if he was about to hang himself or stab him with a sword, so the Chiryo-sa took the emperor without his knowledge.

"no......"

Seeing Karlroy, who seemed to be asking why he caught it, the therapist couldn't speak. What should I say to hear this crazy man.

It was Alexis Dunya's appearance that saved the poor therapist. Gorten, who thought he was stunned by Carloy, seemed to have gone to call for Alexis. Alexis, who came in with Gorten, was a tired face. Karloi had a terrible feeling that made him forget his sympathy as well.

"sire."

"Don't make it noisy for no reason. All you have to do is finish the treatment quietly."

“This is not something you can do as you please. If you say your Majesty is wrong now, what about Croisen?"

"Just because I moved it, it won't cause any major abnormalities in my body."

Even.... I couldn't help her with the pain of loss she suffered. Only a fraction of the pain Lirian was going through was he could bring.

Carloy turned to the therapist.

"You tell me. Honestly. Does the use of magic make my condition worse?"

“..... Of course, her Majesty's life is not suddenly jeopardized. If you ask that way, of course I have nothing to say. But the pain won't be small, so it will definitely affect your mind.”

“It’s okay.”

“Besides, there may be other unexpected pains due to the uncertainty of the transfer magic itself. Is there a crazy country in the world that takes that risk?”

“It doesn’t matter!”

Carloy yelled. A shout full of fury shook the bedroom. Even the servants outside the bedroom were startled and fluttered.

“There are people who drink poison because of me and die.”

The emotions that Karloy suddenly burst out were so intense that no one was willing to respond.

"But don't tell me that pain is going to be a problem at all. She's dying, and I'm dying and I'm not going to die even if I move it all. What is that, what kind of dog is it? I mean!"

But everyone knew. In fact, it is not them that the emperor is so angry with, but the emperor himself.

"...Again, don't ever say that I'm in danger or that it's bad for me. The more I do, the more I want to stab my neck."

Carloy squeezed his head and hesitated.

“Fuckable… There’s only one thing I can do for you. I am now."

The emperor continued to swear at himself. No one could easily open his mouth when he reached the limit.

Gorten and the therapist glanced at Alexis. Looking for an answer, Alexis rubbed his eyes with a tired look.

Before long, her gaze reached upon the empress, who was lying dead. In that image, Alexis recalled the empress, who lived as if he were dead in Purtu, and the empress Bill Dunn who, when imprisoned, asked him to go down to Delua. And he told him many times not to believe in Del Lua to Carloy.

Even if he goes back to that time, he will not believe in the empress. I'll do the same. It was unavoidable. But that said, the reason why he couldn't help it, the reason he didn't know, is what he did to that woman is nothing.

“......Do whatever you want.”

A long time later, the words he gave to Karloy were the answer to his questions. At that time, if he couldn't help it, he was just doing what he cant do now.

“It is better not to inform the outside world. It will only be noisy."

At Alexis' words, the therapist frowned and shook his head only. It was a gesture of resignation to this crazy situation.

Carloi nodded his head without looking at Alexis.

“And.... Stop calling me now. I'm busy. Gorten, you just do what your majesty asks.”

“No, but…”

Without hearing Gorten's hesitant answer, Alexis left the bedroom. The irrational emperor, the therapist who was left behind, and the chief of staff exchanged eyes without knowing what to do.

“What are you doing? Do it right now."

When the emperor, who only swept my face, finally opened his eyes and asked, there was no option left to obey them.

***

After the transfer treatment was over, Carloy could feel that Lyrian's breathing was much easier.

".....How did you endure this?"

Karloi, who was holding Lilian's hand, muttered. He said his chest pain was secondary, but it was more frequent and intense than expected. Sometimes he had to hold his breath for a while because of his pain. As for this, it was just terrible to think he was going through that long time.

After feeling such a terrible feeling, I remembered Lirian's deception, who had been trapped in the tower without fail.

Even herself, who was cruelly ignoring it, came to think of it, and it seems that someday Lirian's face was getting worse and worse.

"I should have noticed it earlier..."

The therapist said that soon the empress would wake up. I'm going to wake up soon thanks to the magic.

And Carloy was scared. Because after Lyrian wakes up he has no expectation of what to do. No, in fact, because the prediction has gone.

Soon after, Denis and Jane will arrive in Four Two. If he found out that Denise was dead, he was afraid that he would try to harm himself if he confirmed it. But will you be entitled to stop it?

“I don’t know what to do.”

There was no answer. There was no way to make mistakes unless you turn back the time.

“I hope you... don't bother anymore, I know. I don't deserve to say this. I know....."

Karloy, who mumbled alone, eventually buried his face.

"Sorry......."

I'm used to not hearing the answer. Every day, he recited the same words of atonement as if breathing. So he was amazed when he felt the slightest movement in his hand.

"sack?"

Obviously the hand moved. Hearing the urgent cry of Carloy, the therapist and attendants ran. Lyrian's eyes opened while the therapist was examining the condition.

"sire!"

When the therapist called in amazement, the empress frowned weakly. Upon the therapist's instructions, the servant brought water and medicine. When the empress's body was slightly raised and the medicine was poured in, a weak cough came out.

The whole process of Lirian's wake up was watched with an impatient face. He didn't know what to do, and just standing, he looked more like a poor fool than an emperor.

“How are you? Are you okay? The pain in the body has disappeared a little, so you will feel a little lighter.....”

The empress only nodded very weakly. It seemed that he wasn't happy that his body had improved. The therapist checked the condition once more and withdrew, and now only the emperor and the empress remain.

Carlos couldn't open his mouth. When Li Lian woke up, he couldn't rejoice blindly. It just felt like his breath was stuffed with his chin.

Lirian's eyes, who were closing his eyes for a moment, looked at Carloy before long. The moment he looked into the eyes, Carloi sat down without knowing, kneeling at the foot of his bed.

He once thought that face was cold. It was all mistaken. Compared to now, that face was full of emotions. There was no sensation on the little face looking at Karl Roy. His eyes were empty enough to doubt whether he was really seeing something.

“I’m sorry… I, I’m all…”

Tears, not even shy, filled the words. The emperor, hanging at the feet of the empress, made atonement that seemed untouchable at all.

“I should have recognized it. No, I should have believed what you said.”

Lirian still had no answer or fine action.

"What do I do... If you want to kill me."

"you."

A quiet voice interrupted him. I couldn't miss it even though it was a voice without power.

“Why do you keep saying that?”

It was a speech without an accent.

“There’s something good for me because you’re dead.”

Lyrian, muttering exhausted, turned his head and stared blankly at the other side of him.

“What else are you willing to do while saving me?”

It was a speech without a single sign of resentment, but rather, it made Karloi even more painful.

“I can't give you back time, but you can't...”

His voice, which had no emotions all the time, shook as he referred Denis. Lyrian turned his head back and looked at Karloy.

“My mom really is.”

For the first time, I could see emotions in my eyes.

"Really... is she dead?"

Unable to answer that eagerness, Karloy felt himself like garbage. He himself is not really worth living. He may not have been worth the price to save Lou in the first place.

"......Sorry. Now with Jane.. I'm coming to the capital.”

Lyrian closed his eyes as if tormented.

“I should have known, but when I riskly choose you, it will be like this.”

Seeing tears dripping from his closed eyes, Carloi thought he would rather have his chest stabbed. The pain he carried to him was no less painful than this.

“I don't even need to blame you. I do it. I made her mother that way."

He cried out as his body, which had become so small that he was saddened by the illness, shook patheticly. He wanted to hug his tough-looking body, but Carloi couldn't even touch Lyrian. His trembling hands hovered near the crying woman.

"no. It's not your fault. This is all mine.......”

I'm stupid. Is it because I'm bastard. Only stupid confidence would find out because you were a jerk cubs.

The cry a little louder with the call to her mother. As he heard that cry, Kahe had the same idea as Roy.

Please I wish I could turn the time back. Go, I wish I could go back to that day when I was young, and then Lou would pluck my food before saving her, and she would do that so that Lou could never meet humans like her.>

He couldn't do that, so Karloy repeated the same words. It's not your fault, it's because of me.

But, as Lyrian said, now nothing of the word was of use.

******

Her therapist said that her empress was conscious of her, or nothing else, but her diagnosis was overwhelming, and she could not find any traces of her mind. There couldn't be any kind of mind that would work properly for someone who seemed to be resting reluctantly even her breath.

Even after her empress wakes up, the emperor, who was indispensable to her, raised her body to her empress's short word.

"end."

Judging by the weary voice, it seemed boring to hear the bruising nagging around Karlroy telling him to return to his daily routine.

“......I'll be back soon.”

Even after seeing the emperor hesitating and talking, the empress did not respond much. In the first place, the empress was not very interested in the existence of her emperor. All she did was stare at her window blankly all day long.

Sometimes, following the end of the gaze, Carloi became scared. There's nothing outside the window, why? She fell from the tower's window and died.

Recalled Denise. Lilian was also worried that she would keep thinking about it.

Carloy stood up to go and looked at the empress for a long time, unable to easily leave.

It's been that way all the time. All of his nerves were in the sound of the Empress's breath, and he noticed even the slightest gesture. Not being able to speak to her or to reach out to her, he only hovered around her next to him.

Lirian's head did not move once until he came out.

“Good. At this time, do some tidy up your body and "

Gorten muttered, sweeping up and down the terrible sulgols of Karlois.

“Dunya Gong said that his Majesty has a lot of things to see in person, and once you shine on your face, you stop making bullshit.”

Leroy thought the same thing.

Please I wish I could turn the time back. Go, it would be nice if I could go back to that day when I was young, and then I would take my powers before Lou saves herself, so that she can never meet humans like herself..

He couldn't do that, so Karloy repeated the same words. It's not your fault, it's because of me.

But, as Lyrian said, now nothing of the word was of use.

*******

Her therapist said that her empress was conscious of her, or nothing else, but her diagnosis was overwhelming, and she could not find any traces of her mind. There couldn't be any kind of mind that would work properly for a person who seemed to be resting reluctantly for her breath.

Even after her empress wakes up, the emperor, who inevitably kept her place, woke up at the empress's short word.

"end"

Judging by the weary voice, it seemed boring to hear the bruising nagging around Karlroy telling him to return to his daily routine.

“.. I'll be back soon.”

Even after seeing the emperor hesitating and talking, the empress did not respond much. In the first place, the empress was not very interested in the existence of her emperor. All she did was stare at her window blankly all day long.

Sometimes, following the end of the gaze, Carloi became scared. There's nothing outside the window, why? She fell from the tower's window and died.

Recalled Denise. Lilian was also worried that she would keep thinking about it.

Carloy stood up to go and looked at the empress for a long time, unable to easily leave. I saw.

It's been that way all the time. All of his nerves were in the sound of the Empress's breath, and he noticed even the slightest gesture. Not being able to speak to her, nor to reach her hand, he only hovered around like that by the side.

Lirian's head did not move once until he came out.

"It's great. Do some tidy up your body at this time."

Gorten muttered, sweeping up and down the terrible sulgols of Karlois.

“Your Majesty Dunya Gong says there are a lot of things you need to see in person, and you have to shine your face to stop making bullshit.”

At Gorten's quietly speaking, Karl Roy crumpled his face. The sorrow I saw in the bedroom was everywhere.

"You're still spinning?"

Gorten shrugs his shoulders.

From the time the empress wakes up, she naturally talks to her emperor, and rumors such as the emperor calling the empress by another name were already spreading little by little in the palace. Few people knew all the stories, so the emperor and the empress knew more than the details, and it seemed to be spreading to a degree.

“There's no reason not to? Besides, you seem to be wondering what your Majesty and Empress were between, the nobles. If there has been anything since the past, it would be like your Majesty's notice to chase the empress to sleep.”

Carloy exhaled full of irritation. But irritation was annoying, and I had to do something to do.

He wanted to check the brooch in question. Originally, he should have been right after he returned to the capital, but when Lirian was down, he couldn't afford to worry about it. In fact, even now, the heart was with Lirian. He was very anxious to leave him alone.

“Tell Dunya that I need to look into Croitan's eyes now. To my office."

The loyal chief of staff practiced the order. Shortly after calling, Alexis Dunya came to Karloi's office with an elderly magician who seemed to be aged.

"What are you doing? I thought you'd live there forever."

The peacock's first word did not seem to be sarcastic, unlike the content of the words. Because I was really surprised.

“Because I have to check.”

As Karloy shook his head towards the brooch, the scholar came up with the brooch.

“If the magic had been the same, it would contain everything from the period that fell, but now that's not the case, I don't know how much it will be recorded. There is probably a part in the middle that is cut off.”

The scholar who confirmed the emperor's face that it didn't matter, fell into the water of a glass bowl with a brooch. When Carloy held out his arm, the scholar cut his finger slightly, took the blood, and sprinkled it on the water.

As the red color mixed in, the shape began to be drawn in the flowing blue. As the figure settled on the water enough to be recognizable, Carloi became dark in front of her eyes.

It was the Duke of Lirian and Delua. Whether the water has been shown since recently, Lirian yelling at the Duke of Delua came out from the top floor of the Delua Tower.

"Ah."

Carloy closed her eyes for a moment without knowing it. Lirian's pain reached him beyond time and space. As I watched that desperate cry and expression, I felt the pain in his chest, which I thought was now used to it.

What happened with the wizard of Verni, and what happened with the wizard of Verni, and what happened in the manor, did not even come to my eyes.

The appearance of Lilian's despair and begging as if to the Duke did not leave his mind. Even though I felt irrational anger at the peacock, who had died so easily, the guilty feeling that he had even made such a situation crushed the anger.

"Ha."

When Carloy groaned with difficulty breathing, Alexis checked his condition.

“…Shall we continue?”

Karloy barely nodded.

From some point in the past, the place illuminated by the brooch changed from the Delua Tower to the Duke's Room.

A peacock who makes all sorts of noises at Lirian, a peacock throwing things ...... A peacock who threatens with his mother, and even Carloy's cold treatment blames Lirian.

I felt a fishy taste. He had bitten his lips so much that he was bleeding.

"Stop....... Absolutely, more."

It was only after the scene of the Duke playing a hand at Lirian as if he was surrendering. I couldn't see any more.

Carloy's breath, who couldn't finish talking, grew harsh. The scholar, who looked at it anxiously for a moment, shook his head.

“Once it starts, it's difficult to stop.”

Lyrian's cries softly roamed the room. Carloy opened his closed eyes. He didn't even deserve to avoid.

The water ran into the past without rest, showing young Li Lian being trapped in the tower.

"sire......."

Carloy didn't understand why Alexis called him that way. It wasn't until Alexis lifted his hand that he realized that his fist had been clenched so tightly that his fingernails had squeezed through.

He knew it was longer than that that his cracked lips were bleeding.

As the water showed Lirian, who was smiling wide before finally meeting the Duke, Carloi began to cry, breathing hard. Alexis quietly let the scholar out. He wasn't necessarily seen by many people.

"sire."

The emperor didn't make a sound and just cried.

"Are you okay."

“I screwed it up.”

It was too harsh for a human voice.

"I just screwed up her life."

"sire."

"You've seen all the balls. How can a person break. Because of me."

Alexis simply thought fate was terrible. Would you have known that things would be like this when the two children met that day? The empress, she wondered if anyone could have known that she was the child the emperor was looking for so much.

After all, who would have known that she was Del Lua's illegitimate child. And, by the way, who could have predicted that Delua would find it? She doesn't even believe in herself yet, but the person concerned is going to be ugly.

In the first place, to find the source of the error, it was Deluah. Alexis regretted that he did not kill Del Lua quickly. Leaving that life for a long time so that only those victims increased.

“I don't know what happened between you two in Purtu, but it's not your Majesty's fault when you were a child. I was just not lucky.”

"As a result, the ditch was laced me motherfucker for me."

"It's not your Majesty's fault."

As he said that, Alexis finally realized with his heart. Adelaide's death was, of course, not Karloy's fault.

"Wouldn't it be useless to regret anything that wasn't your Majesty's fault?... Even in Purtu, for not believing in the Empress, I should ask for forgiveness, but it's also my fault. ”

“I am not an adult representing a child, and don’t do that. He'll only suffer more from that person. It's me that I couldn't believe anyway.

When Alexis didn't answer, an enemy loomed in his office.

What bothered Carloy the most was that the brooch didn't show all of the past. Even though I showed some parts, there were too many misfortunes in Lilian. It is enough to eat the part and become the whole.

"It's my fault. I hate that Delua's daughter who comes into my mind all day long... I shouldn't have made any promises I couldn't keep, but I shouldn't have said I would believe because I wouldn't believe it."

Even the voice of Carloy got quieter. The emperor and the duke were immersed in their own regrets.

Breaking the silence was a reminder from beginning to end. Denise arrived in the capital.

******

When Karlois arrived at the annex with Alexis, the news was quickly heard, and Lyrian was already there. Even from a distance, she could see a woman lying face down on the platform and crying. The maids around her did not know what to do and watched Lilian anxiously beside her.

Each step as she approached Lirian was heavy, as if it was watery. Seeing her after seeing all of her past with her brooch was close to her torture.

"Mom, she didn't believe in the truth. She thought it would be better if she couldn't find her. Like this... I hoped she wouldn't see it. Then she didn't need to believe it. She just ran away where she was. To think that you are living by hitting it."

Carloy's heart crumbled as she heard the sorrowful throat flowing through her cries. Even if she collapsed and collapsed, there was something else left to do. It was weird.

“Because I don’t have to think that I made it this way.”

De Nice's condition wasn't good at all, but she was still enough to find out who the wizards had taken minimal measures as a temporary measure.

Lyrian touched the face of De Nis, who had no trace of her life, and she whispered constantly.

"Okay, I was bad. I was so lonely and cold that I thought that. I guess that's why Momma went so fast."

Lirian, who spoke to her unanswered body, eventually hugged her body and began to cry out loud in her voice.

"Mom... Mom. I'm sorry. I wouldn't do that."

The growing cry sounded like a scream.

“Don’t do that. I shouldn't have chosen that kind of thing, I. What can a kid like me do? And....."

The man who was the choice was just standing behind him. He couldn't get very close, but he couldn't get far.

As Lirian was exhausted, she felt like she was going to fall down, and then Karloy came closer. A small body that couldn't grasp one of his center fell into his arms. The man who didn't know what to do only whispered that he was sorry.

“It's my fault. It's not your fault.”

His face was full of resentment as he looked up at Karlroy, who barely speaks in a locked voice.

“I hate you. you......"

Lyrian, who couldn't finish speaking, burst into tears and punched Carloy's chest. It was too weak to be hit, so Carlo couldn't do it again.

“Why did you make a promise that you wouldn't even keep.”

"Sorry......."

Lyrian, exhausted from hitting Karloy, breathed a little and buried his face in his chest.

"No, I was stupid. I believed in you..."

Lyrian lost consciousness while whispering the words in a voice that couldn't be heard. Karloi, who became Lilian's most regrettable choice, sat still, holding Lilian in his arms.

If there is something that a person cannot repay by death, how should he repay it? As Lirian's body was light, his mistakes and regrets were heavy.

"I......."

The words I'm sorry couldn't continue. He hugged Lyrian's shoulder with his trembling hands.

*****

Jane handed out her letter to the empress who got up after a full day.

"Because you kept learning to write. You practiced it all day long."

She couldn't speak to Jane and let her tears fall. She didn't like Jane's face either. I couldn't know where Jimmy, her brother, the Duke of Del Lua was carrying, so I couldn't tell her whereabouts, but neither Mary Anne nor my India expressed that kind of expression at all.

“How did mom know.”

Lirian, who had even dried up her lips, asked.

“While walking....... I heard the story of the Wizard Verni and the Duke... I'm sorry, I had to be careful.”

Lirian bit her lips, as she couldn't even tell her it wasn't your fault.

The Duke would not have expected that Denise would jump off the tower. De Nice showed only beautiful things, so the surveillance wasn't too much. Denise could look out the window if he wanted, or he could go out of the tower, but his body just couldn't afford it.

“But it was weird. The wizard knew that Denis was listening, and it seemed that he had deliberately brought it up... but I don't know why."

Now it was all useless. It was a little obvious. In the first place, the intention of the work was different from that of Fjord. The Duke has become obsessed with gaining profit by using himself as a hand with Denise. Or maybe Denise misunderstood that anything would affect the Duke.

Anything had nothing to do with it anymore. It wasn't even known. But why did my mother have to die so immediately? I'm still alive.

Why so right, without even thinking of listening to my story.

Lirian's hand grabbed the letter and trembled. Seeing it, Jane carefully spoke to her.

"Your Majesty ....... Denise wasn't that happy. Of course, your Majesty would have been, too, but he wasn't strongly hoping to live."

Lyrian's eyes with tears flickered.

“It was only a very short time that my body got better... and the reason I held up with a body that didn't move as I wanted was because I had your Majesty. Because Your Majesty wants it.......”

“If you're trying to make my mind easier, you don't have to.”

Jane shook her head.

"No. How can these words ease my mind? However, because I have seen the pain by my side for a long time.”

Pain, yes, Denis would have been as painful as Lirian. Lilian didn't even know.

How does it feel to be so bad that people cannot move? Lyrian was bound by his mind, while Denis was bound by his body.

"It's just..... It's De Nis, who was alive because your Majesty really wanted it. He must have been a lot of shock that he was the reason to intimidate you."

So how the hell would he have been good for him and his mother? Lirian couldn't know.

“It's not your Majesty's fault. It's just the situation, it couldn't be helped."

Jane left the bedroom, holding Lirian's hand firmly for the last time. Li Lian, who was left alone, had been holding his stationery for a long time. I can't even open it up.

When he barely made up his mind and opened the letter carefully, he saw neat handwriting. Last time I saw it, I was crooked...

His tears flowed helplessly, so he wrote a letter. He was worried that the text would be smeared with tears and the contents of the letter could not be seen, so he roughly wiped his eyes.

<You know. When I named your name, what did everyone else say? It doesn't suit you very much. But I wanted to give you that name. A name that wouldn't suit a child born to Denise.>

It was right there without the formal'to' phrase. Even though he wiped his eyes, the tears continued. Even poor spelling mistakes were sad.

<It rained when you were born. Honestly, it was hard....... Do you know how much you hurt me? Of course I don't know! It was raining and it seemed to me that my body was sore. I regretted it for a while.

But later, I hugged you and listened to the sound of the rain, and I liked it. I've never liked Croisen's rain, but it was weird.

At that time, I first knew if the sound of the rain was good. The rainy scenery is pretty beautiful. You cried so loudly, but......>

It was a story that everyone knows. Whenever it was raining, Denis had said this while holding Lyrian. It seemed that I could hear the voice right now.

<You think the same thing again, right? However, some stories are good to say a few times. How much I felt happy when you were born, how much I love you, something like this.

My love, my life, Lou.

You made me love rain No, I made it so that I could love my life after that day. How big a thing you've done... You should know.

But actually, I regretted it a little later. I named your name that way. You couldn't give it that kind of life just because you made it that way. If it doesn't help, you shouldn't be burdened, but it hurts...

Why did I have to get sick Without a reason, I can't be lucked out. I thought this way. I don't think so now.

Like this unhappiness in the world's coincidence, there is also luck. Because you have a lucky coincidence that you were born as my daughter.

Anyway, you made me happy back then, would I have made you that way? I had such doubts.>

The front of my eyes turned cloudy again, so I had to wipe my eyes. I'm not an idiot and how can I doubt that?......

<I met the Duke and finally thought I could give you that kind of life... But that wasn't it, all those last 10 years... How stupid mother I am.

How ill you must have been. I didn't want to let you know only pain and misery.

Maybe you blame mom, my choice. But I keep thinking about it strangely. In other words, I had to do this a long time ago.

And actually it hurts a lot and it's hard. There are times when my mom wants to take a break too. You know. Why, even when I was sewing, I had to rest for a very long time at least once.

But this time, I haven't been resting for too long, so it seems a little difficult. Mom is just going to rest. Really.>

I cried so much that I ran out of breath. Lirian struggled to save her stationery.

<And I wish you were too. I want you to know that there is something other than pain and unhappiness. There's nothing more to hold you down.

Go to Machdo, go to Lexem Sorta, meet a lot of people, and there's something you can't do. I really... wish you were.

There will be many warm places besides my arms. I wish I wasn't your prison... please. I really can't stand it......>

How could he think he was Lirian's prison? I was angry.

<Ah, my love, my sweetheart. I loved you so much that I was greedy. With that greed, no, with that love, I've been living and able to see you.

Never forget that I love you forever I must... live while doing what I want to do.

I'm sorry to ask you until the end. But please listen. No matter how much I miss you, you have to come to see me after a very long time.

Don't forget it. How happy you made me, how much I love you. I am not at all unhappy.

I love you, I love you, I love you again. I'm glad I could write these words myself.

Lirian cried after reading the word'I love you', which was used a lot. I hit her chest. She screamed.

She didn't make sense. If I had loved myself so much, I wouldn't have left so easily. She couldn't believe she used it so long for her nonsense. No matter how much she screamed, her heart hurt and her despair did not fade. I wanted someone to kill me.

At the sound of Lyrian's cries, Karloy entered the bedroom with an urgent face. Her three breasts were wet as she embraced Lirian, who was crying without being able to lie down. Her pain was felt with her skin touched, her whole body, and he bitten it.

“I did something wrong. Why do I have to go through this.”

Her swaying body subsided, and her crying throat muttered. At that, Carloi shook her head vigorously.

“It's not your fault. Everything I am... I am not good at everything.”

Lirian, who had no answer even after hearing that, raised his head from his arms and pushed it slightly after a while.

"Yeah. I wasn't meeting you in the first place."

Lirian muttered with an unfamiliar look. Looking at him, he didn't seem to be looking.

“Whatever you do, you shouldn't have cared about it.”

“… ..sack"

Lilian's expression turned fiercely at the name he barely brought up.

"you."

Now he didn't even call his name. One short word contained countless emotions, and Carloy easily recognized that most of them were hatred for him, and, after countless times, they were different names of hate.

“Don’t call me by that name.”

It was contained in every single word. It was painful that he couldn't even resent him, and that the crying period was half mixed. I wanted to hold a knife in her hand. Stick whatever you want.

“Now come and don’t sing it like that. Don't put the name my mom called me in your mouth.”

Carloy couldn't answer anything. It was terrible that those words were the worst words she could say. That she couldn't even swear because she couldn't. That she can't even die.

Soon Lirian turned his head. She comes to him.

“.....Please go out.”

A dry request fell.

“It’s a pain to see your face.”

Hearing that, Carloy couldn't be left in the bedroom. Because he has already caused so much pain to Lirian.

As soon as I left the bedroom, I heard Lyrian's cries faintly again. Carloi hesitated and covered his face, as if falling at the door. Without falling a little in front of the door, he heard all of it. A weak cry that doesn't stop.

He lived by forcing his life, which no one wanted, and he became Lirian's pain. He lived in debt to her, so it was only that he became. It was something like that. The woman's pain.

<What did I do wrong.>

He listened to Lyrian's cry and thought about it again. His presence in her became her fault. If it had been a useless life, it would have been better.

Carloy laughed without fail.

****

“I don't want to return to government anymore. Take medicine properly."

Even after seeing the face of Alexis Dunya, who had become half-hearted, Carloy felt no guilt even though it was dawn that Alexis had barely had a break. I know he's doing what he has to do, but I see, but this offended, I had no idea.

“......What do you do by taking medicine or not returning to government affairs?”

It was pure curiosity, but Alexis distorted his face as if he had heard the stupidest question in the world.

“Gorten, you didn't say it was so serious.”

Alexis' bruise gave Gorten a somewhat dissatisfied face. Before Gorten could even clarify anything, Carloy spoke indifferently.

“I'm not crazy, so don't look like that.”

"You have to take medicine. The therapist said that because of the metastatic treatment, there are severe pains and side effects. If you leave it alone, you don't know what will happen later."

“I’m eating.”

"Do you even lie, now? Besides, if you vomit all you have eaten, is that what you eat?"

“Is the ball nagging you more because you’re old? You've been so worried about me since when."

“I am not worried even now. You're saying what you deserve.”

I was wondering if I was listening. As she stared at the soulless emperor's face, Alexis sighed annoyingly.

I don't know why he can't go into the empress's bedroom and camp out outside, no, actually, I can't guess. Even so, he didn't even know in a dream that he would turn his attention to everything other than the empress. Pathetic guy.

When I think about it now, the previous thing was amazing. Going crazy at night and pretending to be fine during the day.

".....no. Really, do you intend to abandon the Hwang-wi?”

Carloy just glanced at Alexis and looked back, which made it even more upset. Even from a momentary glance,'If I can, why can't I do it?','Did you still not know that? This was because the above thoughts were read.

Crazy guy. What do you believe in a human being who doesn't know how to do anything except the emperor? He wasn't particularly well-grown, and he thought of that kind of ease.

Of course, I'm a Croitan, and I can play with plants, but I can handle swords just because I went out a few wars when I was at Mach, but I'm not better than the emperor anyway. Alexis kicked his tongue.

“I don’t even greet you anyway. Why are you doing this here?”

Carlo bite his mouth. He had never answered a question he didn't want to answer anyway before, and he didn't even have time to take medicine because he didn't know what would happen to Lyrian.

It was a pretense that I couldn't be far away just because I was told to turn it off without being visible. Especially, knowing that Lilian sometimes cries every other day in the middle of the night.

When Mary Ann couldn't handle it, and I called Karloy, she saw a woman crying and tormenting me, as if breaking my body. She told me to go off, but when Lyrian looked at Karlroy, she hung in her arms and cried. That's because it's Carlo. Gibo Dan .... She looked like it because she needed someone to hang on to and someone to blame.

She was terribly poor. The fact that Lirian was going to hang on her left only a human like him.

So he hovered here day and night. I'd rather hope Lirian hit me, and she wants to swear at herself.

I heard Mary Ann scream her inside her bedroom, terrifying to think of her. What was scarier than that was the speed of Carloy's reaction.

As she entered the bedroom, she saw a broken back on the floor. And the open side door inside the saliva. Mary Anne, who couldn't chase after the Empress, stood in vain with medicines and bandages.

She said, "While he was sleeping, he suddenly got up and broke his back and went out, but he didn't know he broke it.

As soon as he saw the situation, Carloy, who grasped the situation, snatched up what Maryanne was holding, stepped on the glass roughly, and ran out to the garden through the open door. Shortly thereafter, I saw a barefoot woman wandering the garden in a white pajamas.

“It’s cold, but why did you come out.”

Lyrian, who was walking without hesitation, stood in front of me and stared up at Karlroy, who was blocking her with her body.

“Because her mother called.”

Carloy, who had lost her words, was only sweet in her lips.

“But I don’t know why I can’t see it. I love flowers, so I'm sure I'll be here.

Lyrian, whose view was blocked by Karlroy's upper body, stretched his head and pushed him slightly.

“......Lirian.”

Yvonne would now be her nightmare name for her, and her Lou is her unauthorized name, so there was only one option left for him.

“What if my mom ran away because of you.”

As I stared at him, I couldn't figure out what to answer. I couldn't see that flawless face, so I looked down and saw a bloody tooth.

"First, let's go in and start treatment. My hands are bleeding..."

"I? It's you, that's...”

Suddenly, he looked down and found his feet bleeding. It looked like he stepped on the glass.

"You said you shouldn't leave the injured as it is, why do you always leave it as it is?"

He was so thirsty that he couldn't answer, and Karl Roy sat Lyrian on the fountain. The powerless body was pulled so easily, sadly, as easily as he led.

"Oh, well. My mom will be uselessly worried if it bleeds. My mom spends a week worrying about me."

Barely swallowing his pain, Karloy knelt on the tip of his toe and examined his hand. I saw the glass stuck in it.

"But why drop your hands like this."

Lirian asked indifferently. That indifferent idiot, too, felt undeserved by him, and his neck burned. He felt like he had received something he shouldn't have received.

Even if she didn't want to shake her hand, just touching her couldn't be her subject, so he paused her hand movements for a while. The sound of the water dropping from the fountain was distantly heard.

"Ah."

When the glass was removed, a weak groan was heard. Reflexively, Karloy raised his head to look at Lyrian's face. When the green eyes that did not resent him touched him, he stopped.

Lyrian's expression, who looked at Karlroy's face for a long time as if seeing a strange thing, began to change slowly. At first, doubt, then enlightenment, and finally, suffering. All of those changes struck Karlroy's heart.

“Let this go.”

A cold voice was heard.

“Let me cure this. please......"

“Did you listen to me when I beg like a dog for please?”

Carloy pauses his hand while moving for a moment. He was a tortured thing to hear that the analogy was not anybody in the whole world as his bastard Lyrian me this himself.

“If I get hurt a little, there’s nothing different about it now.”

Lyrian did not remove his hand. He seemed to have no energy to do so.

“I just told you. Saying that your mother isn't dying already, don't do anything stupid."

Only Lirian's voice was heard in a horrifyingly quiet garden without anybody.

“I didn’t see all the funny things, I just said that you’re a crazy bitch.”

“It wasn't funny. How do I."

"Hey, if you look at me like this and even make fun of it, you're too trash."

Lyrian's speech contained no emotions, so he didn't sound like resentment. Already thinking it was too trash, Carloi slowly began to bandage Lyrian's hand with a trembling hand.

"I don't even like gardens."

Lirian, staring at the garden blankly, muttered like a word to herself.

“It was about halfway out to come. I wonder when you're going to keep your promises, no, I just want to think you've kept them. It's stupid when you think about it now. At that time, I wasn't expecting one more thing to lean on here, and in fact, it would be preserved.”

What promise was he bit the lips of Carloy, who knows better than anyone else.

“What am I a crazy bitch? I hate going to the garden so much. Without pride.”

"Sorry....."

"boring."

I was really tired of it.

“I, what am I?”

Lillian relentlessly cut Karlroy, who followed the stuttering horse.

“What can I do?”

As if he was really worried, Lyrian had no answer.

“What can you do for me… you really don’t know?”

He looked up at Hirian, who had gathered the courage without Karloi. An expression that was more envious than I thought was looking down at him.

"Either you die or are invisible to my eyes."

That was what he said one day. Lyrian's face, looking down at Karloy, quickly became expressionless.

“How would you like to remember all these words. You must be a terrible woman.”

"No. Absolutely."

“By the way, Carl.”

The name I heard after a long time was worse than not being called.

“I don't remember... Really, it's not like that. If you forget it, it will only repeat itself. In my dreams, in my head.....”

Carloy's face was filled with despair without a gap.

“So I'm annoyed with your face. If you say I want you to die, your face is really dying right now.”

“Yes, you will die anytime I wish. I would die so easily. I would take that easy way. It's too difficult for me... It's easy to throw my life away and you're even so easy.”

Tears eventually fell from Lyrian's eyes, who was talking violently.

"So don't die. You're comfortable."

It wasn't like that. Karloi just thought that what he saw would bother Lirian too much.

He thought. She's not dying easily, what's the hard way to die, and Lilian doesn't even need to see my insignificant killing her life... in a place she can't see.

As if he had read the thought, Lyrian quietly put his hand on his cheek. It wasn't until he saw her hands getting wet that Carloi realized that he was draining again disgustingly.

“If I don’t like suffering, Carl...”

It was a soft tone as if I was really asking for a favor.

“You can kill me. You know."

Carloy's heart fell heavily.

“I sincerely… thank you. I'm not saying I'm trying to harass you. Really.... I'm not saying this just because I hate you. There's no one who can do my favor anymore, but you're not.”

It was desperate that the only time Lyrian didn't hate him was when he asked him to kill himself. It felt so well that it was true that Carloi eventually buried his face on his Lilian knee and begged. I'm sorry, I can't do that much.

Listening to all those words, Lirian used his hair slightly as a habit. As if it doesn't mean anything.

Karloi was so terrified of Lyrian's attitude that changed from time to time to him because he was cold and friendly. I thought she was going so badly.

"okay. I think it would be absurd. You can die on your own, but you want to borrow your hand to die.”

I was so scared that there was nothing I could answer for my weak voice.

“I didn't listen to my mother so well... and she wasn't such a nice daughter. Weird. I haven't heard her mother again and again. But again. By the way."

Lyrian's voice gradually subsided.

“But it’s too difficult to ignore my mother’s last request with my own hands… Yes. It's so hard to live and I want you to help you cowardly... I'm not trying to harass you.”

The words of cowardice and harassment weren't appropriate for Lillian.

Why does she make this woman even say that? No matter how much I felt her self-doubt, I didn't get used to it.

“No, I don't know. Sometimes I hate and hate you so much that I want to harass you. I want to kill the person who chose you, so I want to hurt you that much... Even that thought is so painful.”

Like a complaining, her words ceased. As she went and lifted her dog, she saw a face that seemed to be completely exhausted. Lyrian didn't show any rejection to Karlroy's hug to see if he was really powerless. She just covered his neck and muttered.

“You must be hard right now. But my job, maybe the day after tomorrow."

It was scary to hear what was behind her.

“Maybe you can kill me.”

Then Lirian's face touched his neck. It fell as if she had finished all her words.

I couldn't understand. Everyone says that Lilian is getting better, she tells her to take medicine, but she doesn't look that way at all. No matter how much I look at, it seems like Lilian is all about going crazy and getting sick more and more.

Alexis, who saw the expression of Carloy coming in with the empress, seemed to say something right away, but in the end, she didn't say anything. It was a face that seemed to be useless no matter what I said.

As Alexis disappeared with a cluttered look, Karloy carefully laid Lyrian on the bed. On the bed, there was Denise's letter that he must have read worn out. He couldn't even touch it.

Looking at his bloodless face, he made this swearword in the last minute. To yourself.

Tomorrow, the day after tomorrow will be possible? Killing Lyrian? It was something I could never do.

He didn't even move until the sky outside the window turned bluish, looking only at Lyrian. No matter how much I looked at, I was nervous and scared of even blinking my eyes in fear of disappearing when I closed my eyes.

Everything Lyrian said in the garden bothered him. I wasn't trying to do it because taking my life was the easiest option. It was because there really seemed to be nothing he could do for Li Lian.

"Well......."

A light groan was heard, then Lirian's eyes lightly opened. It always has. Although she fell asleep as if she fell asleep, she couldn't sleep for a long time. It was painful when I remembered that in her dreams, all the time Carloy had said that the things he had done were repeated.

Having seen what was awakened, he thought that he should be turned off in front of Lyrian's eyes, so he woke up carefully.

"Hey."

Even then, my footsteps stopped at a small voice calling for myself. She apparently seemed to be calling herself, but Lirian's head was facing out the window.

Again. Looking at nothing like that. Even looking out the window, I couldn't figure out now whether I should be fortunate enough to not throw my body over there, or whether I should consider it unfortunate.

"I think I have to let her mother go."

After a while, the voice was surprisingly calm. Denis was still in it, which had been raised to the capital.

“I feel sorry to keep it in a place like this… I am sorry. Like that…”

I'm sure you're talking to Denise, but Carloy felt heartbroken for nothing. She thought that she was holding Li Lian here.

"Okay. I'll prepare."

When Karloi gave the answer, Lirian said no more. As if he had done everything he had to say.

<It's a pain to see your face.>

Remembering the strenuous words, Carloy took a step. Lyrian's head, which seemed to look out of the window forever, returned to its place only after Karloi left. No, a little more than in place. The gaze paused at the door where Karloy had left.

Lilian himself didn't know what he wanted to do. As a result of his backlash against De Nis, who left first, there were times when he wanted to throw himself or hang himself, and there were times when he thought about De Nis and wanted to endure it.

There are times when he wants to kill Carloy, and there are times when he wants to be by the fact that he is left alone.

When I see him, my anger suddenly rises and I want to say the most violent words I can say, but when a beggar-like reason comes up for a while, yeah, it wasn't really my fault. I wondered if it could have been from Karlroy's point of view. The bad guy is the peacock, and he sometimes thought so.

His head was dizzy and ache because of the changing thoughts he couldn't get away with.

But in the end. So what? It's not just Carl's fault or anything. What did I do wrong to die? I even committed a great crime in which Denise had to be lost. What do I do, I know.

It has now been concluded that it has nothing to do with it. I was tired. He didn't want to think about anything. De Nisado comes out in a dream, but he didn't have long.

No, this is good, even if one luck but instead the Duke de Nice, came that son of a bitch. In such a dream, Lirian utterly swung something to kill the peacock. Whether it's a knife, hand or anything. Yes, it was only terrible.

He stabbed the peacock many times with all his might, and the ball did not die. The peacock continued to laugh even though his blood was overflowing and a disgusting smell stabbed his nose. There is nothing that can be done or that it is good for you.

Lyrian closed his eyes again.

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Lydianne_Pyria · Mar 31, 2021

So MC just forgive him for all of that? Whut?! I- this is really- I'm so triggered rn

lembayung · Mar 31, 2021

Thanks for the spoiler, no way I'm gonna read through this shit. I could still read 'I Don't Want To Be Loved' cause the ML at least got his share of the pain, though I don't justified his action but I still kinda understand both the FL and ML flaw and pain. But I don't see any point on this POC, he is justified to hate his enemies daughter, yeah I would be suspicious too but does he really need to abuse her every time he open his damn mouth, the least he can do as human being is ignored her but since he can't touch her father he let out his anger and hatred to the daughter, someone who never done him any wrong, what a fucking thrash.

Deleted member 282232 · Apr 9, 2021

lembayung said: ↑

'I Don't Want To Be Loved'
Click to expand...

That K Novel is 100× better than this. The ML was redeemable cause he did his utmost to protect the FL. FL was very timid and there was lack of communication as well as misunderstandings which were created by the FL herself and even though she tried to communicate with him later, but the timing was a bit late and wrong cause he thought that she will be unreasonable and will hurt him again so he ignored her. I won't say that he was pure but yes, he was very much better than this trash.
This ML comes under the category of Trashleads :
1- Lucio (Lady to Queen)
2- Alexander (Beatrice)
3- Soveishu (Remarried Empress)
4- This one ಥ‿ಥ

lembayung · Apr 9, 2021

cookie_monster007 said: ↑

That K Novel is 100× better than this. The ML was redeemable cause he did his utmost to protect the FL. FL was very timid and there was lack of communication as well as misunderstandings which were created by the FL herself and even though she tried to communicate with him later, but the timing was a bit late and wrong cause he thought that she will be unreasonable and will hurt him again so he ignored her. I won't say that he was pure but yes, he was very much better than this trash.
This ML comes under the category of Trashleads :
1- Lucio (Lady to Queen)
2- Alexander (Beatrice)
3- Soveishu (Remarried Empress)
4- This one ಥ‿ಥ
Click to expand...

I agree with your list, I hate Lucio the most, especially after I read the side stories of the first timeline after he executed FL and her family. But I don't think Alexander (Beatrice) is a trash, sure he killed people but it's a war, from the defeated country POV he is murderer but from his country POV he is a hero. And he never treated the FL badly except for the first time when he is suspicious that she poisoned his horse (it's not okay, but it's reasonable), even before he fall for her, he treat her with respect even though she is just slave. Most of the ML I read only treat the FL like human beings after he fall for her.

Deleted member 282232 · Apr 9, 2021

lembayung said: ↑

I agree with your list, I hate Lucio the most, especially after I read the side stories of the first timeline after he executed FL and her family. But I don't think Alexander (Beatrice) is a trash, sure he killed people but it's a war, from the defeated country POV he is murderer but from his country POV he is a hero. And he never treated the FL badly except for the first time when he is suspicious that she poisoned his horse (it's not okay, but it's reasonable), even before he fall for her, he treat her with respect even though she is just slave. Most of the ML I read only treat the FL like human beings after he fall for her.
Click to expand...

I don't like Alexander because he let the princess (Alicia) be toyed by his knights before killing her. I do accept if we see this a historical way, war and plundering a country isn't uncommon. But honestly, I didn't liked him as a 'ML'. You're right though, he isn't exactly a trash as them but I have mixed feelings towards him.

iactuallyfrhateithere · Apr 10, 2021

i just read the synopsys so uhh is this a novel where the ML emotionally torture the FL?? or?

lembayung · Apr 10, 2021

cookie_monster007 said: ↑

I don't like Alexander because he let the princess (Alicia) be toyed by his knights before killing her. I do accept if we see this a historical way, war and plundering a country isn't uncommon. But honestly, I didn't liked him as a 'ML'. You're right though, he isn't exactly a trash as them but I have mixed feelings towards him.
Click to expand...

Is that so, I only reading the Manhwa but from what I remember, he heard the knight planning to toy the Princess so he kill her off in a single stroke that's why the FL traumatized by it and so scared of him.

Deleted member 282232 · Apr 10, 2021

lembayung said: ↑

Is that so, I only reading the Manhwa but from what I remember, he heard the knight planning to toy the Princess so he kill her off in a single stroke that's why the FL traumatized by it and so scared of him.
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No she spat on him while calling him a man who won by underhanded measures. So he got angry and ripped her gown with a sword then threw her towards his knights. She was tossed around by many knights but it wasn't much detailed instead it was written that she was crying and screaming so much that Beatrice got really terrified. Then after a while Alexander pulled the princess back and cut off her head.

Amethyst_ · Apr 18, 2021

bluemoonkat said: ↑

I swear it is so much fun to read male lead regretting stuff. Or hard to get love✨✨
Those are my guilty pleasures.
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Mine too. I just love them so much. My guuuiilltyyy~~ pleasure.

theilikepie said: ↑

"Hey guys don't judge this trash abusing piece of shit. He has his reason for doing it which makes it all okay"

People will try to justify a dude if he has a pretty face no matter what he does huh

Honestly, I hope the MC dies rather than her getting back together with him

Why do women have to be so kind, understanding, and forgiving? Why do they have to suffer abuse just so the ML can a better person? There human too their feelings and self-respect matter

Why does the MLS want to matter more than the MCs' health? Why is it always what they want and how they feel and oh how sad their life is???? Do you people give a shit about anyone besides the ML?? Or is the MC just a tool to redeem the ML and make him feel better so we all get out romantic scenes and never have to think about the implications. His selfishness and abuse is rewarded
Click to expand...

This is so true. It hits accurately.

EVA EVA · Apr 28, 2021

cookie_monster007 said: ↑

That K Novel is 100× better than this. The ML was redeemable cause he did his utmost to protect the FL. FL was very timid and there was lack of communication as well as misunderstandings which were created by the FL herself and even though she tried to communicate with him later, but the timing was a bit late and wrong cause he thought that she will be unreasonable and will hurt him again so he ignored her. I won't say that he was pure but yes, he was very much better than this trash.
This ML comes under the category of Trashleads :
1- Lucio (Lady to Queen)
2- Alexander (Beatrice)
3- Soveishu (Remarried Empress)
4- This one ಥ‿ಥ
Click to expand...

dude at least the ML of 'I dont want to be loved' loved FL and because of misunderstanding they hurt each other but he never used her or betrayed her but here Ml used her,betrayed her trust but MC just forgive him out of sympathy cause he tried to suicide, sigh I am really dissatisfied with the story.

Deleted member 282232 · Apr 29, 2021

EVA EVA said: ↑

dude at least the ML of 'I dont want to be loved' loved FL and because of misunderstanding they hurt each other but he never used her or betrayed her but here Ml used her,betrayed her trust but MC just forgive him out of sympathy cause he tried to suicide, sigh I am really dissatisfied with the story.
Click to expand...

Yeah exactly..I bet the female lead in this story ended up with him just for the sake of the story and 'they all lived together happily' happy ending. Gosh!

EVA EVA · May 1, 2021

cookie_monster007 said: ↑

Yeah exactly..I bet the female lead in this story ended up with him just for the sake of the story and 'they all lived together happily' happy ending. Gosh!
Click to expand...

yeah and if you think carefully he wouldn't even go for her or even think about her pitiful state if he didn't know that she was the girl who saved him,what I am seeing he has the feelings of gratitude towards her which he misinterpreted as love but I think he don't know even what love is.Well, I really hate him and If I were in the FL place I never would forgive this man let alone being together with him.

Autumn Leaves · May 5, 2021

I just found this novel when I was searching for something angst. I liked the description but I was also shocked by the low ratings. So I tried searching for spoilers (here I am). I was also scared of reading it because some people are already judging the ML as scum, immature and trash but I still overcome my fear and read the spoilers. I’m so glad I did and I would like to thank all those who give their time and effort to provide detailed mtl of this novel. I’m surprised that I actually began to love this novel despite the harsh criticism of others. This is one of the best spoiler threads that I come into.

Someone might disagree with me with my opinion but its okay since we have different way of thinking.

I kinda loved this novel because of how realistic the characters are. They are portrayed realistically with feelings and 3d personality. I might disagree with some that the FL should go together with another ML and not the orig ML. I think I kinda understand a little bit how the author wants to tell his/her story. This is very different from other novels where the ML is portrayed unrealistically by the other novels. This is a novel where they are not OP characters. This story is all about 2 flawed or sick people (I want to say sick because Luo said “You think I, maybe we are broken, but… no. We were just a little sick, and it could be okay.”) and their bitter sweet story. Some might say the ML is immature and scum because he hurts the FL and I’m not trying to defend him or something, I just want to understood why he treats the FL like that. Carl is an angry person, he was driven by his hatred towards the duke that it made him blind of others. This blind anger of him is the reason why he treats Luo cruelly. Some may say that just because he has a trauma it doesn’t mean he can hurt others. NO, sometimes people with trauma unconsciously hurts other more less a person with trauma and blind anger. People like them only wants to believe what they want to believe and will hate who they want to hate. I kinda understood him on his part of hating Luo because she looks like the duke. And when you read the posted spoilers, you can say that he’s immature of justifying why he hates the FL but as what I said, he’s angry that’s why he will hate who he wants to hate. You can see it in the novel when he’s already seeing Luo in a different light, he will start to reverse his thinking. You will also notice how he was not listening with his aids and the queen because that.

Moving on to verbally abusing the FL, I also kinda understand him in that part (but I was not justifying it since verbal abuse is bad). We as human have moments in our life where we try to hurt others with our words even I also had a fair share of moments like that. We can’t help it because once a person is overtaken by his/her emotions they started to lose control. That’s what happened to ML, his anger started to overtake him immediately when he saw the FL (I think its because he saw the resemblance of the duke to the FL which is kinda a trigger for him) and that’s when he started to hurl verbal abuse because by doing that, he was able to cover his weaknesses, his wounds and he wants to let the victim know how hurt he was. That is also the reason why he feels glad seeing how hurt the FL is with his words.

Another is when he imprisoned the FL and again verbally abusing her. Remember that before he started verbally abusing her again, he was calm asking why the FL was running away, etc. And he started again verbally abusing her when he learned “evidences” that she actually “betrayed” him. So he loses his shit again and hurt the FL because by doing that he can cover the fact that he actually believed the FL or give her a part of his heart which is actually the first step on changing but that stupid duke started a rebellion . So he again blinded himself and did not listen again to the FL and the fact that the FL is blocked by magic from defending herself did not helped at all.

And for the part where he learned the truth and was always saying sorry and crying in front of FL was so sad for me. FL was his savior, his light and his life. Without her saving him when they were young, he will not exists. When he learned that he actually hurt the FL ofc he’s gonna breakdown because he cannot believed that through his self he was the one who broke her again when all he want was otherwise. He lost his meaning and his goals ( basically he lost his world and self), that’s why he keeps on crying in self guilt. People like him will ofc became an idiot, that’s why he thinks of killing himself because he felt like his life do not have meaning anymore and that through his death, the FL will became happy. He did not know how to redeem himself aside from suicide which is a sad reality for those people who gone through this phase .

That is why when the FL stopped him from killing himself and asked him to leave, that gave the ML the motivation to not do it again. He was again given a meaning and a goal because aside from self guilt of verbal abusing and hurting the FL, another reason why he became like that is because he did not fulfilled any promises he said to the FL.
And to those who said that the ML did not any character development, I kinda disagree because although it’s not big, he did have changes. He was slowly picking himself up, slowly trying to get his life back even though most of the time he fails (drinking and self abuse) but he held on because he promised that he will live. You can say that he was not actually healed yet because aside from promising the FL that he will lived, he still do need his “light” which is the FL, there you can see his changes.

I liked how the FL get back together with the ML. Believe it or not, they were each others comforts and healers. The reason why the Fl still has hope in her is because of her mother and the fact that she actually saved a person (it gave a purpose to her life) that is why it led to fl preventing Ml from killing himself because if the ML was killed, the FL will feel that all the pain she gone through all those time was worthless. Their confrontation in the forest was actually the beginning of them starting to change and all those moments where they were separated can be treated as them picking their selves again ( accepting what have lost, appreciating that there is still a reason to live and that the world is a beautiful place for them to keep on living) although they were adjusting at different phase( because the FL is determined to change that’s why she was faster than the ML, the ML just started to change a bit when he saw how happy the Mc was). And the time they meet again can be considered as reconciliation. That is why I liked this novel because you can see how flawed the characters are and even if the Ml is strong physically, the FL is actually stronger mentally. You can see how they try to start again and rewriting all those painful memories. I also liked how the author still let them have a nightmare even if they are now together. Through that you can understand why I said that I liked they are each others end game. Because they understood each others pain and connection.

Autumn Leaves · May 5, 2021

saphhh said: ↑

i somehow agree. the root of everything is actually the ML's hate for the duke and others criticize him for that. it's true that his hatred should not be directed to FL. however, hating someone related to the one you hate is more realistic that defending the situation since we know both of their perspective. i actually love the part wherein they seems tired with everything yet there's still love. i dropped this halfway though. i love the story but i'm emotionally weak so... i wasn't able to finish it
Click to expand...

Yep even though the story is good, it is still bad for the readers emotions and mental

aienmoon · May 5, 2021

Autumn Leaves said: ↑

I just found this novel when I was searching for something angst. I liked the description but I was also shocked by the low ratings. So I tried searching for spoilers (here I am). I was also scared of reading it because some people are already judging the ML as scum, immature and trash but I still overcome my fear and read the spoilers. I’m so glad I did and I would like to thank all those who give their time and effort to provide detailed mtl of this novel. I’m surprised that I actually began to love this novel despite the harsh criticism of others. This is one of the best spoiler threads that I come into.

Someone might disagree with me with my opinion but its okay since we have different way of thinking.

I kinda loved this novel because of how realistic the characters are. They are portrayed realistically with feelings and 3d personality. I might disagree with some that the FL should go together with another ML and not the orig ML. I think I kinda understand a little bit how the author wants to tell his/her story. This is very different from other novels where the ML is portrayed unrealistically by the other novels. This is a novel where they are not OP characters. This story is all about 2 flawed or sick people (I want to say sick because Luo said “You think I, maybe we are broken, but… no. We were just a little sick, and it could be okay.”) and their bitter sweet story. Some might say the ML is immature and scum because he hurts the FL and I’m not trying to defend him or something, I just want to understood why he treats the FL like that. Carl is an angry person, he was driven by his hatred towards the duke that it made him blind of others. This blind anger of him is the reason why he treats Luo cruelly. Some may say that just because he has a trauma it doesn’t mean he can hurt others. NO, sometimes people with trauma unconsciously hurts other more less a person with trauma and blind anger. People like them only wants to believe what they want to believe and will hate who they want to hate. I kinda understood him on his part of hating Luo because she looks like the duke. And when you read the posted spoilers, you can say that he’s immature of justifying why he hates the FL but as what I said, he’s angry that’s why he will hate who he wants to hate. You can see it in the novel when he’s already seeing Luo in a different light, he will start to reverse his thinking. You will also notice how he was not listening with his aids and the queen because that.

Moving on to verbally abusing the FL, I also kinda understand him in that part (but I was not justifying it since verbal abuse is bad). We as human have moments in our life where we try to hurt others with our words even I also had a fair share of moments like that. We can’t help it because once a person is overtaken by his/her emotions they started to lose control. That’s what happened to ML, his anger started to overtake him immediately when he saw the FL (I think its because he saw the resemblance of the duke to the FL which is kinda a trigger for him) and that’s when he started to hurl verbal abuse because by doing that, he was able to cover his weaknesses, his wounds and he wants to let the victim know how hurt he was. That is also the reason why he feels glad seeing how hurt the FL is with his words.

Another is when he imprisoned the FL and again verbally abusing her. Remember that before he started verbally abusing her again, he was calm asking why the FL was running away, etc. And he started again verbally abusing her when he learned “evidences” that she actually “betrayed” him. So he loses his shit again and hurt the FL because by doing that he can cover the fact that he actually believed the FL or give her a part of his heart which is actually the first step on changing but that stupid duke started a rebellion . So he again blinded himself and did not listen again to the FL and the fact that the FL is blocked by magic from defending herself did not helped at all.

And for the part where he learned the truth and was always saying sorry and crying in front of FL was so sad for me. FL was his savior, his light and his life. Without her saving him when they were young, he will not exists. When he learned that he actually hurt the FL ofc he’s gonna breakdown because he cannot believed that through his self he was the one who broke her again when all he want was otherwise. He lost his meaning and his goals ( basically he lost his world and self), that’s why he keeps on crying in self guilt. People like him will ofc became an idiot, that’s why he thinks of killing himself because he felt like his life do not have meaning anymore and that through his death, the FL will became happy. He did not know how to redeem himself aside from suicide which is a sad reality for those people who gone through this phase .

That is why when the FL stopped him from killing himself and asked him to leave, that gave the ML the motivation to not do it again. He was again given a meaning and a goal because aside from self guilt of verbal abusing and hurting the FL, another reason why he became like that is because he did not fulfilled any promises he said to the FL.
And to those who said that the ML did not any character development, I kinda disagree because although it’s not big, he did have changes. He was slowly picking himself up, slowly trying to get his life back even though most of the time he fails (drinking and self abuse) but he held on because he promised that he will live. You can say that he was not actually healed yet because aside from promising the FL that he will lived, he still do need his “light” which is the FL, there you can see his changes.

I liked how the FL get back together with the ML. Believe it or not, they were each others comforts and healers. The reason why the Fl still has hope in her is because of her mother and the fact that she actually saved a person (it gave a purpose to her life) that is why it led to fl preventing Ml from killing himself because if the ML was killed, the FL will feel that all the pain she gone through all those time was worthless. Their confrontation in the forest was actually the beginning of them starting to change and all those moments where they were separated can be treated as them picking their selves again ( accepting what have lost, appreciating that there is still a reason to live and that the world is a beautiful place for them to keep on living) although they were adjusting at different phase( because the FL is determined to change that’s why she was faster than the ML, the ML just started to change a bit when he saw how happy the Mc was). And the time they meet again can be considered as reconciliation. That is why I liked this novel because you can see how flawed the characters are and even if the Ml is strong physically, the FL is actually stronger mentally. You can see how they try to start again and rewriting all those painful memories. I also liked how the author still let them have a nightmare even if they are now together. Through that you can understand why I said that I liked they are each others end game. Because they understood each others pain and connection.

Click to expand...

I also like it when the author writes the characters psychology well. you get to see and understand the reason how and why they do what they did. although that doesnt mean you will like that character. (I still dont like the ml in this novel based on the spoilers ive read). As you said it portrays them realistically and thus can make some people somewhat relate to them. It's not like the villain in fairytales that are bad just for the sake of being bad. i like the angst and emotion it brings to the story.

btw if you like angsty stories, if you're ok with cn novels, i suggest reading this author's works 明月像饼
most of the novels i read from this author are reincarnated FLs where they leave the MLs or Exes groveling in regret

Autumn Leaves · May 5, 2021

aienmoon said: ↑

I also like it when the author writes the characters psychology well. you get to see and understand the reason how and why they do what they did. although that doesnt mean you will like that character. (I still dont like the ml in this novel based on the spoilers ive read). As you said it portrays them realistically and thus can make some people somewhat relate to them. It's not like the villain in fairytales that are bad just for the sake of being bad. i like the angst and emotion it brings to the story.

btw if you like angsty stories, if you're ok with cn novels, i suggest reading this author's works 明月像饼
most of the novels i read from this author are reincarnated FLs where they leave the MLs or Exes groveling in regret
Click to expand...

Omg thanks for the recommendation.

Isekaifan13wen · Jun 27, 2021

I suggest you to read the mtl book spoiler
Cause you can fell the emotion of the character.

I already read all the mtl from book 1-5
At first I hate the ml, but I can feel the pain he feel too. But the more I read I back to hate him again. After I read the book 5 I can understand why the ml do that.

It's not him not trust our FL, he actually trust her like a crazy person.
Even our FL say "only crazy person can do that."

When he found out about the evidence, he decided not to harm the FL.
He know our FL lie cause he have the evidence
But he desperately ask the empress "if you my person? "
And FL say yes
Imagine when you fall in love with your enemy daughter. It's torture him.
How the hell he know FL under magic?
When he got the evidence that a male magician often visit FL.
The other say maybe FL cast some magic make him fall in love with empress
When he know that male magician stay in the Duke house, all the evidence make him think that magician is FL lover.
And he caught FL run away with her maid when the rebellion begin.
FL can't tell the truth and he desperately want to hear one truth from her.
It just like, he know FL lie and maybe deceive him, but he desperately want a reason to believe her .
So other people say the emperor crazy
When FL lock in the tower, he thought FL want to meet her lover desperately. So he just hurt even before he suffered from the pain and he got the report that FL poison him. How can he know that FL not poison him?
After FL run away, he just go to find the FL like a crazy person. He drink medicine cause it's hurt when he love the FL so much even that FL hurt him. (It's our ml POV) of course I know Fl suffer more because that f*cking magic.
He just love her enough to make him crazy, but he can't admit it that he love her so much.
Then after you read our FL POV it's really sad too. That make you can't hate both character.
THEY JUST A VICTIM! (That pig Duke make them suffer and miss understandings like this.)

In the book 5
After FL told him not to die, he suffer more that make me fell sad cause really sad you know.

So I think you should read the novel mtl
Not judge by the spoiler character,
Cause the spoiler not tell you all the complicated felling our FL and ML have.

At first I just like
I hate this trash ml so much
But when I read till the ending of the book
I finally understand and feel happy for them
Anyway, this novel worth to read..

Sorry my bad English

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