Discussion Are you a lazy person?

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Shorng, May 5, 2021.

  1. Shorng

    Shorng Rotten BL Fan

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    Yeah, I am :( being lazy effect daily life, especially my studies right now because we has to study online. It’s bad, but this might be a sensitive question to some people (sometimes I hate it when people call me out). I mean, I also just knew about it recently from my teacher that I’m having a depression. (...) imagine that feelings, I’m shocked. I mean, I’m living an average life with average family. My parents are doing business, and my teacher actually said it was due to my family. Yes, we do have issues, but it’s kind of hard to speak about openly because it’s family matters, however, I did told my Chinese teacher because he’s my friend... I spilled it and he said he also went through it once. He told me to not be self-center and go out to get fresh air often. And that I should think for the future. But I saw no future.

    The thing is, I want to know if anyone having same problems as me? Because I just want to close myself off and I don’t really want to be alone forever sometimes, such a contradict feelings make me uncomfortable, but I have a few close friends though they’re not trustworthy cus I told them once about my problem and they just ignored it and change the topic to speak about something else. It was upsetting, to be honest. I can’t even trust my parents nor sibling as they don’t believe in “depression” because our family is such a “happy” family because we have money to buy food and clothes, at least.

    So, let’s be honest and drop down your answer. And if you’re going through it same as me, you can dm me, we can talk about it. That... I also need someone to talk to, too... I don’t think I can talk everything out to my teacher, I can only talk with stranger because...:blobtired:
     
  2. UndyingSLIME10295

    UndyingSLIME10295 [•Figment of your Imagination•]

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    *pats on the shoulder* I think I know what you mean.
     
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  3. Deleted member 318062

    Deleted member 318062 Guest

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    Oh my god-
    Thank gosh someone else also feels like this! (Can i just say that this is a normal feeling?)
    I also feel like this sometimes, Thinking that i have to work hard to get what i want but still have no productivity to do what i have to finish *looks at scattered assignment papers..:blobwoah:*
    I think this is perfectly fine so there is no such thing to worry about, but do please care about your mental health you might think like this because you don 't care for yourself enough
    Though, Do finish your task(s) while you have the motivation.
    Procrastination works sometimes.
    (Notice how i highlited the word sometimes? Yeah, procrastionation increases your stress, while the work doeesnt increase might aswell check a theraphist if you do this often)
     
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  4. otaku31

    otaku31 Well-Known Member

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    Yes, I'm an unmotivated person. I am worrywart who gets depressed easily and likes being left alone to let his gloom fester... but the fact that I've a supportive family who wouldn't quickly dismiss my concerns if I confided in them (even if I don't always choose to) is a huge boost.
     
  5. Cutter Masterson

    Cutter Masterson Well-Known Super-Soldier

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    First off I want to say “Depression” is a serious and potentially dangerous moment. It isn’t a make believe feeling. It is real. Rug sweeping it does not solve the underlying issues. Many have even die from it. You should at the very lease talk to either a school counselor or a therapist on zoom. Or here if you feel comfortable. What your feeling is real and needs to be handled correctly.
    Personally, I recommend going out on hikes. Getting some exercise. When your on your hike and take a short breather. Let yourself be refreshed by the feeling. Let your body feel the second wind come up. And tell yourself your a worthwhile person and you deserve happiness. Than focus on what would make you happy. That’s what I suggest.
    As to being “Lazy”. 100% that’s me. Lol.
    I wish you luck
     
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  6. The Hamster Overlord

    The Hamster Overlord Mad scientist/Revered wizard/Alleged antichrist

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    First thing first, everyone is allowed to be unhappy. There's nothing wrong with that.
    Hope you get to see better times.
     
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  7. simak

    simak Well-Known Member

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    I agree with getting in motion. The physical affects the mental and spiritual. Get away from your family sometimes.

    One way to view this is that all humans are lazy to a degree. Our ancestors needed to conserve energy in the wild. However that is no longer a constraint. What is valuable is time. And by front loading the work to develop skills, including those in class, you can set yourself to make each unit of time more valuable. This frees up the rest of your time. Heck, after setting yourself up, you can to choose to be lazier later on. In fact most people who avoid hard subjects or jobs and up going to college twice or restarting their careers twice. People who base their life decisions on a lack of motivation often work twice as hard and suffer in the meantime.
     
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  8. Rutabaga

    Rutabaga Well-Known Member

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    Got some problems as you do too. Though I can't say I'm in the same situation as you, I sometimes just can't see what I would do in my future after graduating, and I'd gotten yelled at by my parents for being lazy, not having any goals for myself plus not having any motivation. I got told I was a failure in life and that I was a salted fish. I guess its really hard to find motivation sometimes. It's also difficult when people around you don't really listen when you have something to say.
    I can't tell you what to do since that would be rude and I'm not in the right place to do that, but get some fresh air every now and then, do stuff you like, and it's fine to be lazy every once in a while. If it's stressful try stuff like drawing or writing, or even small things like making lists. I don't know if it will help you, but I managed by finding something I liked and expanding on it, like deciding which subjects I wanted to study because of this, or finding new friends who have the same things they liked as me while staying in my comfort zone. Even Internet friends help.
    The problem about your depression is quite serious, and I do think your family and close friends handled it terribly. I hope you find close friends you can trust to have this conversation with and that they'll treat you well instead of brushing you off. Good luck to you.
     
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  9. kkgoh

    kkgoh Well-Known Member

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    As per @Cutter Masterson , depression is a real mood disorder and is often neglected/overlooked in Asian culture.

    I don't want to play doctor, but there are a couple of things to clarify, so you understand what's considered "normal" behaviour. Because if you don't understand what's normal, you don't know if you have a problem.

    - Having occasional depressive episodes (lasting only a few days due to some triggering event) is normal.
    - "Clinical Depression" or "Depression" is a much longer lasting episode, and you should seek help (school counselor, medical professional, etc) if you do have it.
    - As per the American Psychiatric Association DSM-5, you have "Clinical depression" if you have 5 or more these symptoms for at least 2 weeks:
    • Your mood is depressed for most of the day, especially in the morning.
    • You feel tired or have a lack of energy almost every day.
    • You feel worthless or guilty almost every day.
    • You feel hopeless or pessimistic.
    • You have a hard time focusing, remembering details, and making decisions.
    • You can’t sleep, or you sleep too much, almost every day.
    • You have almost no interest or pleasure in many activities nearly every day.
    • You think often about death or suicide (not just a fear of death).
    • You feel restless or slowed down.
    • You’ve lost or gained weight.
    • Feel cranky and restless
    • Lose pleasure in life
    • Overeat or stop feeling hungry
    • Have aches, pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems that don’t go away or get better with treatment
    • Have sad, anxious, or "empty" feelings
    - You mentioned your family is "happy", and therefore you shouldn't have depression. That's a common misconception of depression.
    The opposite of depression is NOT happiness, but vitality.

    If you're experiencing an overall lack of motivation, you can try what your teacher suggested. Find something to occupy yourself with that might keep you interested. Check and see if there's a school counselor you can talk to. Most schools often have avenues for students to seek help. Otherwise check with your local family doctor and discuss what you're experiencing. They will usually refer you to someone.
     
    Last edited: May 5, 2021
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  10. mir

    mir Well-Known Member

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    It is early and I am half asleep. But I can say that I asked therapists many times 'are you sure I am not just lazy?' and all told me that depression often will make you think that, or can make it seem that way to other people who don't know,. And that is part of the disease.
    They said it's important to recognize it for what it really is.
    Because (this is me speaking) otherwise you keep putting yourself down as just lazy, trying to push yourself harder. That maybe if you just keep pushing every day you will magically become 'not lazy' one day. But since the real cause is something else, all you do by doing that is make the disease worse/last longer.
    It is important to push sometimes, but without judging yourself, and push for the purpose of your health (like going hiking or making yourself a healthy meal), not just because people are telling you that you should be a certain way and you are trying to meet it.
    If it makes you feel accomplished to have good grades or things like that, then it's ok to try but put your health as priority and all other goals should have limits on how much you are going to be willing to push/sacrifice your self to accomplish them.
    I rambled because I'm sleepy. I deny responsibility in a dramatic way and disappear, bye
    Good luck
     
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  11. cyahorizon

    cyahorizon New Member

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    Mm, I have the same problems. I can't see a future nor did I not expect that I can actually last this long lol.
    I do think getting yourself a bit of fresh air is a good thing, and by fresh air, I meant somewhere not as suffocating as, well, whatever environment you are in right now so yes, maybe a talk with someone new, someone who'd understand you is a good thing.
    I can never do that, but I do hope you see and experience better days, a toast to when that finally happens and good luck.
     
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  12. MMWO

    MMWO *pout*

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    Yes I'm lazy and so unmotivated that my grades are on the verge of failing and I might have to repeat
     
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  13. UndyingSLIME10295

    UndyingSLIME10295 [•Figment of your Imagination•]

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    You really shouldn't be that honest. It's bad for your grades.
     
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  14. c3ltic

    c3ltic . . .

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    *hugs* you are important, you matter.

    You may not see it, or feel that way right now but I promise you it's true.

    I can't say I've read every response above mine but from what I saw there were a few with good information. I can't tell you what you should do, but I will tell you what happened to me.

    I was suicidal in high school, and often thought my family would be better off without me. I struggled for a long time silently, without letting anyone around me know. So much so that when I ran into a high school acquaintance a few years later and we spoke about that time and I shared I had been suicidal he was shocked. I wish now I had been as brave as you are and reached out for help.

    What saved me back then was a line in a book about everything on earth being connected. I was doing research paper on homeopathic remedies, and while I don't remember the exact line itself, I remember how I reacted. I was shocked, because I felt alone. So at night, I would lay in bed and try to feel this connection. And then I would visualize an exchange of energy flowing through me. This clumsy attempt at meditation got me though a lot. Even now, I take the time and check in with myself and try to take actions that prove to myself that I matter. Even if that action is just taking a walk by myself. Or cooking myself a delicious meal.

    You are brave, you are stong. If you need to reach out, DM me. You can vent all you want.
     
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  15. Bad Storm

    Bad Storm no thought, head empty

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    It's not that strange tbh. There are lots of average people living average life and yet fall into depression. Sometimes, we try to identify factors that caused it, just for things to makes sense... but there are occasions when they never do. They don't even feel like they ever will. I may not be able to help you up but I'm open for a conversation if you ever need one.
     
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  16. Shorng

    Shorng Rotten BL Fan

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    :cry::cry::cry:

    That, all that above was what I’m going through, but just... I’m afraid of pain so never thing of dying. I have said this but never gonna go through it. Though I don’t think I can go to get check at all, and my teacher did said I could talk with him more if I feel stuffy, but I mean... he’s a man and after I told him I kind of feel ashamed. (n)
     
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  17. AliceShiki

    AliceShiki 『Ms. Tree』『Magical Girl of Love and Justice』

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    I'm not lazy. I'm a horrible procrastinator and a complete disaster at working regularly. I've been trying to work at home-office for 5 years, and I'm only starting to make some progress now... Not because I didn't have the opportunity to do things right before, but simply because I procrastinated a ridiculous amount and haven't been able to be productive at all.

    I'm currently going to a psychologist and to a psychiatrist to help me with my procrastination... Psychiatrist since one month ago, psychologist since 2 years ago.

    I'm not lazy. I want to work, I want to work hard. I want to live alone, I want to earn my financial independence... But it's hard. It's stupidly hard. It's stupidly hard to tell myself "Now it's your work hours, so stop playing games and go work."

    I've already heard people say: "You will be able to do it if you start thinking that you need to work to pay for your bills." Bullshit. It's not that easy. If it was that easy, I wouldn't have been struggling with this for 5 years now.

    Dunno if your situation is the same as mine, but... Don't feel like you're the only person that has troubles with not being able to study properly. I had troubles with that on school, and that was part of why I wasn't able to finish university either... You're by no means the only person with issues on those ends.

    As for friends... Honestly, it's not that strange to not be super close to your friends and to be able to confide in them... It's nice to have someone you really trust and can confide in, but... You need trust for that, you can't simply trust everyone... Sometimes you can't trust none of your friends, sometimes you can't trust family either... It's horrible if you're in this kind of situation because you feel alone... Try getting professional help then. Try asking for help. Try telling a professional that will do their best to help you about your problems... You can at the very least trust a professional... And hopefully you'll in due time find someone you can really trust on.

    Good luck out there, try your best~
     
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  18. MisterBubbles

    MisterBubbles [The Omnipotent No. 2 at Everything]

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    I am the opposite. I need to keep doing things and I border on being a workaholic because I don't want to deal with my depression and other problems that come with past trauma. When I was younger, I wouldn't eat or sleep for days at a time because of it and it was pretty bad. Now, I at least know how to take breaks and let myself rest.

    The real issues only come up when I don't have much of anything to really keep me busy.

    Anyway, I just recommend either finding a professional or build support network with friends that can help you stay on track. It's never easy to stay on track when you are dealing with depression, but having people around to support you would probably help out in many ways.
     
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  19. Bobasis

    Bobasis Weeeeee

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    After online school started ive become really lazy and procrastinate a lot more then I use too . I like in person more since I have more motivation and get my work done quicker . I use to do things I advance I don’t anymore .
     
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  20. kkgoh

    kkgoh Well-Known Member

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    I can't say I've experienced severe depression in the past, mainly grief.
    I've known people going through depression who often can't muster the effort/will/desire to get themselves checked out.
    Not sure what else I can say to encourage you to seek help. In some ways it's almost similar to Alzheimer's ... patients just lose the ability/motivation to even eat, hence the need for caregivers.

    Maybe try explaining to a family member what you're experiencing, that you've done your basic research and concluded it might be clinical depression. And have them push you to get help.
    Early intervention is best for these kinds of things. A professional can suggest what kind of help you might need, from physical methods to medication (although my understanding is that meds are the last resort due to possible future dependency).
     
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