Request So my best friend...

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Coldxfire, May 19, 2021.

  1. Coldxfire

    Coldxfire Well-Known Member

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    Uhmm so there's this girl who is my best friend and I feel like she's not the way she was before....
    So ummm yesterday we had a test and she has been copying my test for months now since the covid and yesterday I saw her story and she was complaining about how the academic pressure was making her depressed and all that but certainly she can not be depressed from academic pressure because I always help her in her tests and let her copy my homework and assignments. I didn't ask her what was going on because I think its just a misunderstanding.

    Today she,her boyfriend and some of our friends were talking in the group chat and when i replied to some of their messages she told me that I was just being a thorn in there sides.

    So ummm yeah i feel like she's really different and doesn't like me anymore.........
    I just wanted to ask for some advice as to what I can do...to make our friendship better I guess..
     
  2. Kurotsubaki

    Kurotsubaki Reincarnation of the Seven Deadly Sins

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    Just keep poking within the boundary of comfort, know when to stop for the moment and keep poking otherwise.
    That's what a friend is
     
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  3. UnknownSaint171

    UnknownSaint171 To Something Sounds Cooler

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    Cough* Doesn’t sound like a friend. Um I’d stay far away?
     
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  4. Walter vi Britannia

    Walter vi Britannia Well-Known Member

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    Dude, this is the forums of a novel site. We're as nerdy and introverted as they come. We have no fricking idea what to do in that situation.

    But, if I learned anything from reading novels its that not communicating about the problem early on would escalate things to the point where one of you might end up becoming the demon king, and the other would be chosen as the hero to slay it.
     
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  5. otaku31

    otaku31 Well-Known Member

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    It's your fault for not giving the issues she has to face more thought. Do you know how stressful copying is, with the ever-present fear of being caught, not to mention the cramped fingers from having to copy everything yourself? Next time, try to be nicer and write them down in her stead. :blobtriumph:
     
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  6. Fulminata

    Fulminata Typo-ist | Officer of Heavenly Inc. |

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    Agree. I suggest you talk it out with your friend before one of you ended up joining the dark side.


    A teeny tiny blob of opinion :
    Sometimes, friendship change. Figure out whether it's worthy of your time to keep holding on or letting go, because your description sounds dangerously close to you merely being used. :aww:
     
  7. anotherAniket

    anotherAniket Well-Known Member

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    Have a talk with her. Try to figure what's the problem. If nothing works out, move on.
    It's just my opinion but she doesn't seem like a best friend to me.
     
  8. Baldingere

    Baldingere Roseau pensant

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    I think you should meet her and tell her about how you feel. Then it depends how she reacts. If her reaction makes you feel uncomfortable, take some distance.
     
  9. Amaruna Myu

    Amaruna Myu ugly squid dokja (●´∀`●)

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    funny

    well, there might be a chance that this has been how she was since the start but she's getting sick of you so she's revealing her true colours.
    at least that's how stories go.

    you might want to try PM-ing her, if she doesn't reply nicely maybe that's when you know it's time to stop being friends
    if she gives a reasonable and rational response, you can try talking it out with her
     
  10. hrididi

    hrididi Active Member

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    Ok so I've been thru this too. I would definitely give her a hard time for saying that thorn comment. Maybe indirectly don't let her copy your work. Remind her of the comment if she complaints. Taunt her for it once in a while to make her realise she's being ungrateful, hella mean and a burden. But don't really expect a reaction. Distance yourself from her but still be friendly as you were. DON'T ALWAYS BE AVAILABLE. She's clearly taking you for granted. If she's doesn't become better, this is gonna take a toxic turn. Your friend sounds like a poser to me. You deserve better. If none of these things help, you better just leave it at this. Find better friends who appreciate you. Much love and hang in there~
     
  11. SusuTheSloth

    SusuTheSloth Active Member

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    maybe your friend has low motivation and is affected by other problem around her that effect her emotion on academic side. it could be small problem that take toll on her after quite some time. So i think it is better to communicate early on her, dont be too aggressive cause she is quite stress. are you studying physically face to face in class or having online class?
     
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  12. Dips

    Dips [Cheese God][Poké Professor][ADarkPain]Bored.

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    Wow sounds a bit like the plot to the queen bee Manwha. I'd recommend telling her to fuck off and getting better friends because she sounds like a mega bitch and you can do better.
     
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  13. Megatron

    Megatron Decepticon

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    Learning the Dao of not giving a shit is the best advice I can give. Sometimes you just have to walk away from some people. Tbh, she doesn't sound like a very good friend
     
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  14. forgotten

    forgotten 【 R E M N A N T】

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    I just like to start by saying that it's a terrible idea to ask for help with relationships on the internet.
    People are extremely complex beings, we do not know your friend, you do, all that we get to know about her is what you share with us and even then it's impossible to understand someone just from one person's description.

    I think you misunderstand depression, once again i don't know your friend, but her family or something might be pressuring her to get better grades, and just because there is someone who helps her with homework/grades doesn't mean that those people leave your friend alone.
    In fact knowing that even with a help of your friend you're still not good enough, self guilty, etc might make it even worse when it comes to depression.

    Once again, i don't know your friend, her circumstances, or anything, i just tried to point out that helping someone doesn't mean they can't get depression over that thing.

    For advice i can only think of a single thing, just talk with her. Have a conversation. It can be via text or w/e if you're not comfortable and confident enough to do it directly.
    If it's not a big deal, the conversation will solve and if it is, maybe something has to change or its time to end the friendship.
     
  15. FreakyDude

    FreakyDude Well-Known Member

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    Well in my opinion from what i have seen in reddit stories, your position is very bad right now... there is no salvaging it at this point... in all the stories so far in reddit that tried to salvage it at this point, they ended very badly...
    You can build a safe place for yourself by keeping people close to you that has not bit into her lies in the know of what is actually happening.
    Keep records of past interactions and all the proof of her cheating on the test by using your answer...
    If she tries to attack you socially then nuke her with all these info all in 1 shot with time and date stamps along with her number or identifiable things... you will get into trouble but depending on your wits or luck, you can get out of it.. but she will definately be in an even worse spot...
    By this point its too late to repair your friendship with her.
    There are many reasons she turned out this way, like being manipulated into thinking like this and abusing you or its her true nature that she has hidden and the stress of the current climate of things have made it such that she can't vent her frustration and now she is venting it out on you... but all indicators points to the fact that this relationship is toxic and you are better of cutting all ties with her and keep records of everything that happened including the cheating in tests as a tactical nuke that you bring up to school and to social media...
     
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  16. natsume142

    natsume142 だが、断る

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    Best option, to talk it out. One to one conversation. If she dont want to then just left her. Maybe she need space or whatever. Also stop helping her copying your works. I dont really endorsed plagarism.

    I may seem harsh about the whole copying stuff sorry bout that. But yeah, communication between you both could help you get closure of the whole situation. Be prepared mentally if she lashed out to you or said mean stuffs. There must be a reason for the changes happening. Good luck sis, I hope everything will go well.
     
    Last edited: May 19, 2021
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  17. Eve

    Eve Title under construction

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    its very hard to know other people's circumstances in times like this,
    you can't meet em and what they say in text are only a piece of their mind.
    Maybe often send her some memes or funny stuff.
    I think that's better than drama like lines you might send in desperation of needing connections.
     
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  18. Coldxfire

    Coldxfire Well-Known Member

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    Well we've been friends since childhood so I find it hard to stay away and not understand her
     
  19. ListlessCat

    ListlessCat ࿈༼The Anarchic Witch༽࿈ ⦑⤉notsoGoody Good Shoes⤈⦒

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    Everything should start with a conversation.
    Private Message .No third party.
    If you want your friendship to be better then you have to tal . Have a closure with your friend.
    Ask what's wrong or what point have your friendship went downhill. (If that's what you called your relationship with her )
    Also I just have to highlight this part
    Her calling you " a thorn on her side" was very much a downgrade for a person that always want u to help her with school stuff.

    I dont mean to be rude on how you want to really mend your relationship with her, but i don't think this "friendship" is healthy. Base on my experience as an introvert and was in need for attention as a young teen before, this relationship is like relationship on how bullies bully the helpess . I dont know if your an introvert but trust me ,the longer you stay with this kind of friendship the worst they treat u

    -by a introvert nerd
     
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  20. Coldxfire

    Coldxfire Well-Known Member

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    Yeah I will communicate with her and try to understand her problems

    Yeah ok I'll go to her house and write them down for her we're neighbours anyways

    I don't think she's trying to only use me but I guess I'll wait and see

    Ya I'm trying to figure our her problem... but she doesn't open up to me much nowadays

    Well i have known her since childhood so i dont think she has always been like this...

    I guess I'll try not to always be available but I think not being available when she needs me will only make it worse

    I personally don't think Im too aggressive on her but I'll try and understand
     
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