Discussion Funny, Witty, Stupid, Irrationals, Angry Reviews

Discussion in 'Novel General' started by sleib, May 26, 2021.

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  1. sleib

    sleib Well-Known Member

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    There are some stupid reviews I've seen. Sometimes people praising the novel to the sky and then adding they have not even started reading, sometimes shitting on a novel and writing huge review while they have only read prologue out of 1000+ chapters and some are just funny/witty (not many). Can you remember such reviews and if possible post them here?

    You can write some angry reviews as well.
     
    Last edited: May 27, 2021
  2. otaku31

    otaku31 Well-Known Member

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    McMengHao: https://www.novelupdates.com/series/i-shall-seal-the-heavens/#comment-10697

    Oedipal struggle: https://www.novelupdates.com/series/ancient-strengthening-technique/#comment-7047

    Emperor of Cosmos' Glory of China review by UsernameJ:
    I want you to imagine something. Imagine this with me.

    The time is not too long ago. Maybe it's the 40s, or the 60s. You are a rural farmer in China. You don't know how to read or write, you only know the Glory of China. You father farmed here, and his father before him. All for the Glory of China. You lead a simple life, with your wife and kids. You grow crops and give them to the Mayor of the town to sell them at the next town over.


    Every few days everyone in the village gathers in the Mayor's house to sit before an image of a person. Everyone cries with joy and worships this image. It is the Great and Glorious Supreme Noble Leader. The leader of Glorious China! Everyone cries and exclaims with joy about how great their lives are, how great the Glory of China is. Sure your aunt died last week due to cancer, but you're just a farmer. You don't even know what cancer is. All you know is that she spent her life working for the Glory of China! How noble!


    Every few months some soldiers come by. They are so glorious! For the Glory of China! When they come, all the young women of the town don't come home at night. You're not sure why. The day after, all the women are crying and in pain, but no one can be bothered to talk about why. You just look down on them. Women are filthy creatures after all. They need to always work towards the Glory of China!


    Nine months after the this visit, new kids are born. How Glorious! More children to work for the Glory of China! You are so proud to be a farmer. Soon your daughter will be of marrying age and will be able to continue your humble peasant family line. Though you've noticed many of the soldiers look at her already. You are very pleased to know that your ancestors have worked for China, you work for China, and even your children and their children will work. All for the Glory of China!


    Now imagine this mentality, except in the modern age. This is the mentality of the author of this story. And oh my fucking god is it hilarious and cringe-inducing. I'm only on chapter 14 and the story itself isn't actually bad. Just be prepared for an incredible amount of propaganda. Propaganda for the Glory of China!


    It's like this author genuinely believes that communism is the greatest thing ever and corruption simply doesn't exist. Everything he describes in the story for how society works is exactly like the farmer. If the story keeps like this, I'm gonna keep reading it 'cause it's just too funny
     
    Last edited: May 26, 2021
  3. sleib

    sleib Well-Known Member

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    McMengHao: https://www.novelupdates.com/series/i-shall-seal-the-heavens/#comment-10697
    Meng Hao walked into the McDonald's. The cultivator taking his order gave a derisive snort, but Meng Hao did not really care, because he had repressed his aura down to the Single Patty Realm, and a fool would not be able to tell his true level of burger eating.



    "Give me... a Happy Meal!"


    The cultivator's face flickered before he finally regained his composure and laughed. "You couldn't afford a Happy Meal. Get lost! Don't you see that there are Double Quarter Pounder Realm eaters waiting behind you?"


    Meng Hao slapped his bag of holding and threw 80 billion spirit McDonald's coupons onto the counter, causing an earthquake which demolished half of the restaurant. Everyone dropped their jaws. None could see how this was possible!


    "I'll take that Happy Meal with a side order of fries, " Meng Hao said. He was as calm as the ocean in a painting of an insanely calm ocean. "And let me see your manager!"


    The cashier cultivator coughed up a mouthful of ketchup. He simply could not handle Meng Hao's killing intent, because he was only at the Quarter Pounder with Cheese realm himself. Even though Meng Hao had suppressed his aura, because he had cultivated the Heavenly Burgin' Qi, this was enough to kill people a few levels higher if he truly wanted.


    It was then that another man which a much more fierce aura stepped forward. "You dare make trouble here?"


    "P... Patriarch Hamburglar!"


    Patriarch Hamburglar was 99 cents of the way into the Big Mac Realm, plus tax! Meng Hao was pushed back two feet, knocking over a soda machine. Powerade Mountain Berry Blast geysered outward, killing several onlookers.


    Of course, Mayor McCheese saw all this happen through the window.


    Meng Hao coughed up a mouthful of blood, snorted, constricted his pupils, and then his expression went calm. He unleashed the aura of 64 patties, condensed down to a 2 patty stack that could fit into his mouth!


    Mayor McCheese coughed up a mouthful of cheese. His pupils constricted.


    "Is this... Seeking the McRib stage??"


    Meng Hao had the gentle air of a scholar, but it wouldn't stop him from killing several people in a McDonald's.


    "Burger Devouring Scripture! I'm Lovin' It!"


    With the first keyword of the Burger Devouring Scripture, everyone below the early Quarter Pounder With Cheese stage exploded into purple mist. The light of the immense heavenly burger shone down with the contours of a golden arch as 9 illusory burgers floated around Meng Hao's body, which is probably an important xianxia number that matches the number of lakes in some sacred Chinese province I've never heard of. But that was only a fraction of Meng Hao's power. He waved his arm, bringing forth thirty more cultivation techniques that hadn't appeared in over 400 chapters!


    "Heavenly Tribulation Fries! Eastern Everburning Egg McMuffin! Fruit Smoothie Guillotine! Soul McCafe Mocha Incarnation!"


    Meng Hao's expression was the same as ever as he slapped his bag of holding, and brought out his karmic ketchup packet, Fry Cook Lord medallion, seventeen different wooden time spatulas, a five-coloured resurrection coupon, the silk burger wrapper, various souls of lightning McNuggets that he may or may not still have, and his mask of the legacy of Ronald McDonald. Oh, and the image of a flying Chicken Snack Wrap dragon appeared. Remember that? It was basically his Main Thing at the start of the novel, but quietly faded into irrelevance. Until now!


    All of this takes some time to describe, but actually happened in the space of only a few breaths.


    "What! Impossible!"


    Meng Hao wanted to summon the parrot as well, but it was too overcome with eroticism by the purple fur depicted on a nearby poster of Grimace, and was busy drilling out a glory hole straight through the poster, and the wall it was pinned to, with its strong parrot erection.


    But it was more than enough. The Hamburglar's soul flew out and was absorbed into his mask! He screamed as his body was destroyed completely.


    Meng Hao brushed off his robe and swept up his spirit coupons and everyone's bags of holding which probably didn't have any cool sh*t inside unless I write him into a corner later, and anyways, don't worry about it for now. He surveyed the rubble that was all that remained of the McDonald's.


    "Guess I'll be taking that Happy Meal... to go!



    Oedipal struggle: https://www.novelupdates.com/series/ancient-strengthening-technique/#comment-7047

    The MC is a gamer who was reborn with his past memories. Raised by his loving mother, he sets off on a quest to reunite his family for her sake (while creating a new one with every woman he meets). AST’s most distinctive aspect is that the MC is constantly horny, with a taste for mature women who resemble his mother (and also his mother) and the real purpose of his reincarnation is to explain his preference for MILFs. While most XX/WX novels feel like they’re split 50:50 between training and women, AST appears more like 10:90. It’s called Ancient Strengthening Technique but there’s really only one muscle he’s training. Other than the MC’s tale of two heads, there’s nothing particularly distinct about him. Coming from the gaming world, his cheat includes his memories and a set of skills he currently can’t use. He trains hard (kinda), he enters fights (occasionally) and does/will do all the things and women a normal MC does (mostly the women).

    @UsernameJ 's review for "Emperor of the Cosmos":

    I want you to imagine something. Imagine this with me.

    The time is not too long ago. Maybe it's the 40s, or the 60s. You are a rural farmer in China. You don't know how to read or write, you only know the Glory of China. You father farmed here, and his father before him. All for the Glory of China. You lead a simple life, with your wife and kids. You grow crops and give them to the Mayor of the town to sell them at the next town over.


    Every few days everyone in the village gathers in the Mayor's house to sit before an image of a person. Everyone cries with joy and worships this image. It is the Great and Glorious Supreme Noble Leader. The leader of Glorious China! Everyone cries and exclaims with joy about how great their lives are, how great the Glory of China is. Sure your aunt died last week due to cancer, but you're just a farmer. You don't even know what cancer is. All you know is that she spent her life working for the Glory of China! How noble!


    Every few months some soldiers come by. They are so glorious! For the Glory of China! When they come, all the young women of the town don't come home at night. You're not sure why. The day after, all the women are crying and in pain, but no one can be bothered to talk about why. You just look down on them. Women are filthy creatures after all. They need to always work towards the Glory of China!


    Nine months after the this visit, new kids are born. How Glorious! More children to work for the Glory of China! You are so proud to be a farmer. Soon your daughter will be of marrying age and will be able to continue your humble peasant family line. Though you've noticed many of the soldiers look at her already. You are very pleased to know that your ancestors have worked for China, you work for China, and even your children and their children will work. All for the Glory of China!


    Now imagine this mentality, except in the modern age. This is the mentality of the author of this story. And oh my fucking god is it hilarious and cringe-inducing. I'm only on chapter 14 and the story itself isn't actually bad. Just be prepared for an incredible amount of propaganda. Propaganda for the Glory of China!


    It's like this author genuinely believes that communism is the greatest thing ever and corruption simply doesn't exist. Everything he describes in the story for how society works is exactly like the farmer. If the story keeps like this, I'm gonna keep reading it 'cause it's just too funny

    https://www.novelupdates.com/series/king-of-gods/
    Ahh... Out of all CN novels I read, this is definitely the KING OF KINGS!!! I present you the unprecedented, unbeatable, invincible, unstoppable, most outstanding, most powerful, and most talented genius, the King of Janitors! Beware of his legendary might, his prodigious trash-cleaning-techniques, and his all-powerful-no-backlash-mysterious-ultimate-technique sharingan.



    Trash better not get in his way, otherwise be prepared to be dumped in the trash can. But before doing so, he will first copy enemies' techniques better than your giraffe seatmates at school, steal their girls faster than you can blink your eyes, make them cry until their daddies and grand daddies show up, and most of all, make you lose some brain cells in the process!


    In a world where every place is littered with trash, a new janitor has been born! Follow this janitor MC's journey as he rids the heavens of these trash, sweeping his almighty broom left and right, up and down, and in whichever way the wind blows. Not even a single speck of dust can escape his godly eyes. Under his prowess, all trash are destined to be placed in the trash can!

    https://www.novelupdates.com/series/king-of-gods/
    Let’s do some Q & A.



    Q: What are cultivation levels here?


    A: Ah, just things to overcome in a few time-skipped weeks by eating a few nameless pills. It doesn’t have to be the MC, everyone does it.


    Q: So why are there people who stay low-leveled and don't improve for years?


    A: Um. Next question, please.


    Q: Then what are skills?


    A: Just these things that don’t need much description... they don’t really matter anyway, just imagine something whenever their names pop up.


    Q: How would you define character depth?


    A: Uh...


    Q: What do the words arrogance, self-centeredness, and “cleverness” mean to you?


    A: The defining traits an MC should have! No—the only way any character should be!


    The author’s name is quite apt; can he truly be so self-aware!? However, I would suggest a small addendum: Fast-Food-Restaurant-That-Builds-Its-Burgers-Out-Of-Addictive-Chemicals-Which-Give-You-Food-Poisoning.


    Consider it, author, yea?

    https://www.novelupdates.com/series/the-avalon-of-five-elements/
    Review was done on webnovel by user Kitty:

    "Water... Earth... Fire... Metal... Wood. Long ago, the Cultivation World lived together in disharmony. Then, everything changed when the Wilderness attacked. When the world needed Spiritual Force most, it vanished. Only the Avalon, fortress of all five elementalists, could stop the Wilderness...

    A thousand years passed before a fatty and a sand puppet discovered a new hero, a metal elementalist named Ai Hui. And although his swordfighting skills are great, he still has a lot to learn before he's ready to save anyone. But I, Lou Lan, believe Ai Hui can save the world."

    https://www.novelupdates.com/series/ancient-strengthening-technique/#comment-36878

    Already gave it to me, I really tried to read until the end because it was one of my first novels, and I wanted to know to what level it goes, and what would be the rewards of the realm of the Violet Jade Immortal.

    90% of the fights that Qin Shui has in the novel is because of a woman. Yes, I'm not lying 90%. The other 10% is for some nonsense as revenge or when someone messes with his family.

    Qin Shui will walk down the street with some beautiful woman, no matter where she goes, the woman will always be the country's number 1 beauty, cold and arrogant. Until suddenly a young master and his subordinate appear, then his subordinate will say: "Look there young master, a great beauty, she is only worthy of you, let's steal it!" The young master does not have the ability to think if Qin Shui is strong, or has some great sect protecting him, he can only think with his penis, he goes there and says, "Hey, go away and leave the woman, and we will not kill him!" And so Qin Shui ends up fighting and killing the young master, and coincidentally the young master is the son of the leader of the country's strongest sect. And so begins another useless fight with another strong sect.

    Yes, 90% of the Qin Shui fights are because of women, if he walked the whole romance alone, the romance would end in chapter 1000.

    -------

    I'll talk a little about women now.

    In every place that the Qin Shui goes, he will always find the most beautiful woman in the country that has never had a man, and is extremely strong, cold and with a strong family.

    For some s*upid reason, Qing Shui will talk to her about something random, then he will see that the woman is a great beauty and will say, "Wow, you are very attractive!" Then the woman will think, "Oh, he called me attractive, no man went that far with me... I do not think it's disgusting" So, for another s*upid reason, he starts walking with her on the street, So a young master who can only think with the pen*s appears once more saying: "Woman X, our families arranged for us to get married, and you do not accept... wait who is this at your side?" Or it's going to be something like, "Wow, what a beautiful woman, I want her, let's get her!"

    Then Qing Shui will save the damsel in distress by speaking hypocritical words, and you have the most beautiful woman in the country in love with you.

    ----

    Man, I hate Qing Shui, your personality is very bad. At the beginning of the novel he meets a woman named Yu He, he will abuse her, touch her breasts and much more, but the woman says that she is a widow and can not marry again and therefore can not accept another man, so Qin Shui says he will solve his problems and marry her.

    Some things happen, and the woman can marry again, without the family interfering, because Qin Shui had r*ped a prettiest random woman in the country, he does not care about the other woman's love anymore. Then she'll talk to Qin Shui and say, "I can get married now!" And Qin Shui says, "Very good, when to be married, do not forget to keep me the wedding invitation." He is very son of a b*tch, he made the woman fall in love, and why he had already r*ped a beauty, he no longer cares about her.

    In the future in the novel he gets many women, has many children, and because of this he always lives speaking: "I will not try to look for more women for me."

    Then he abandons his wives and children to go to another continent. There he will always find the most beautiful woman in the country, so he will start teasing her: "Wow, how attractive you are." Or any kind of shit, and then the woman will fall in love with him, but he does not want anything with her because he says he already has many women, so something random happens and the woman almost dies, so he says he will do of everything to save her, and if she survives he will marry her, she survives at the end and he has another woman in his harem.

    There are other ridiculous things that happen too. He will cure a woman's illness, and when he heals her, the first thing she says is, "I think I'm dreaming, kiss me to confirm if this is a dream!" I do not even need to say that this woman is one of the most beautiful in the country, right?

    -----

    The author puts so many useless skills and useless things that later he does not mention any more.

    Qing Shui begins to practice talismans, so the author keeps talking about it in a lot of chapters, so after 500 chapters the author never again mentions this. That serves a lot of his skill as well.

    -----

    Yeah, I tried to read it until the end of the novel but I could not, it's always the same thing. If you like a s*upid MC, with a harem full of s*upid girls and a useless story, I recommend this novel to you.

    https://www.novelupdates.com/series/dungeon-hunter/#comment-16697
    I hate when someone trying to cheat me. And I feel like this story is a big lie with a lot of bullshit.

    Demons are hikikomori, lazy, kindhearted, frightened little kids (off course except mc). How can this be?

    "This is cruel, bloodthirsty battle for devil's seat"- wait. 71 demons doesn't have any interest, they already fallen asleep. Only MC know about challenge?

    "Demons have no interest about points, so fallen asleep on two years"- wait. Even if they doesn't know about battle, why should they reject "bugatti"? One can buy any skill, artifact, s*ave, anything. But no interest... fallen asleep.

    "71 Demons divided into 4 factions (off course except mc) "- wait. You just wrote:"fallen asleep", "can't communicate", "doesn't know each other location", "hikikomori". Where did those factions came and why only MC has independence? It doesn't make sense.

    "Elves can freely speak Korean coz they have special ears", "humans can't recognize demons coz they are similar, only skin is some different"-no comments.

    Training/power system is weird.

    Otakus and s*upid schoolgirls, after being struck by lightning, has great abilities and potential. Olympic champions, SWAT's members are tr*sh. if you decided to give abilities based on past experience, then do it! Don't fool your readers.

    There is no reason why MC has much more "money" than other demons. Humans can grinding their stats/lvl in dojo, etc. So there supposed to be no difference in "prey's quality", but billion Chinese can't overcome million Koreans and MC's income all time is skyhigh. If you can't kill them, than you don't have reward! But MC always has reward, looks like that all Koreans and Chinese dream to make suicide in his dungeon. Such bullsh*t is everywhere.

    Every chapter has so much lies and bullshit, I can't trust to his words.

    Also MC isn't likable for me. He has twisted personality and his words often goes against his actions. "After my death I got humanity"-"i will raise humans and then will slaughter them all, for my goal". "I decided to help humans"-killed the most humans...

    How Mailes said earlier, there is no real story. One creature (man, or demon, or whatever it is) wants to be a devil, he is doing whatever he wants, going wherever he wants, collecting toys and author with his lies trying to protect mc's path.

    Spoiler
    Btw, he is already invincible.

    [collapse]
    Boring and poorly written story, with plenty of plot holes and incredibly big number of ret*rds.

    https://www.novelupdates.com/series/invisible-dragon/#comment-13981
    That was beautiful.. Sob sob



    I dont want to live anymore. After reading this how can I even glance at other novels? Invisible dragon.. You are my hero!


    To the author, Respect man!


    Either you are the s*upidest sh*t of an excuse for a human OR a legendary writer with godly skills and an unlimited imagination.


    Peace out
     
  4. Halcyon Observer

    Halcyon Observer Full stop

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    What was the reason for why the review got taken down? It was quite a legendary one.

    The Nuffian that wrote the McMengHao had legitimately attached an additional twelve paragraphs of a serious review onto that story. What a dedicated person.
     
    aShinyVaporeon likes this.
  5. sleib

    sleib Well-Known Member

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    You can't dirty the glory of China! That's why.

    https://www.novelupdates.com/series/im-really-a-superstar/#comment-18396
    I'm Really a Superstar appeals to a certain subset of people. I am not one of them, and let me tell you why in the lengthiest way possible. There will be minor spoilers through select examples, but no actual plot ones.



    First, the protagonist is a terrible person. He never grows out of his petty personality, making me wonder how he's an adult. Zhang Ye picks fights and can't get along with anyone. The guy's basically an internet troll's wet dream, so it's no surprise his fanbase begins on the net and revel in his antics. They literally call themselves his troll army, so I'm not making things up. This is like having 4chan back you up, and when they like you, you're probably controversial to put it nicely.


    The story rides on their reactions over Zhang Ye's "facesmacking" as justice, but don't forget the origin of the protagonist's talent--he's a plagiarist. The man has never toiled hard for his results. He lives off others' work and justifies its use because people are a**holes to him, too.


    Two wrongs don't make a right.


    Speaking of his power, it's a lottery system he draws upon. The problem is this isn't real randomization. You know he's going to use the learned skill or item in the next story arc. I expect this in these stories so I'll let it slide. But his use of it is questionable.


    I'm talking about the romance. His current love interest (as of the 200s~) likes him because of the lottery. He can't even get women without shenanigans, which is no surprise as the romantic scenes are as sexy as elementary school kids in beauty pageants. Zhang Ye acts like a rapist and the author plays it off as fun or whatever. And while he's romancing love interest-chan, Zhang Ye is feeling up his landlady at the same time.


    What a hero to the people.


    I've seen people say, "Well, it's not like she's stopping him." Hold up, now, that's really not the point. But arguing is a waste of time. You'll either despise him for this or not. There's no middle ground here, although he's a shameless scumbag and knows it, calling himself an as*hole (as a positive trait, no less) at one point. I can't stand sexual assault in other novels, but at least those aren't based in the modern day. History isn't nice. This on the other hand is modern times, and with it comes different expectations.


    Speaking of modern times, why is he so racist? Zhang Ye is extremely nationalistic and loves harping on about how great the Chinese are while crapping over Koreans and Japanese and white people and so on. Let's not forget the random black guy added in just for the protagonist to make a fool of. Who's next? This isn't the stone ages. You'll get crucified saying these things in reality, and he should be banned everywhere as a public figure. Consider today's celebrities spouting such garbage and recall how much it blows up in their face, then realize Zhang Ye is no different.


    You'll have the same apologists defending racism, and I wonder if people ever step back and think about what they're saying for once. If Zhang Ye dislikes those who look down on the Chinese, maybe take a good look at yourself and see what you're saying about others, too. It's ironic. You'd think a webnovel about the power of words would be more self-aware of the crap being spewed, and spreading hate through text on a page.


    #Chinesemasterrace tho am I rite?


    "But they deserved it, they were mean!" some may say. Except the author wrote them that way to justify his s*upid agenda. He goes out of his way to make foreigners utter dipshits, and this keeps happening. So no, none of this is deserved. I could write an entire novel about how the Chinese are huge tools too. This is propaganda to an embarrassing extreme. The protagonist (ahem, author) is going to take his bullsh*t to the next level eventually, and it's only a matter of when and how the author defends battery. Once again, Zhang Ye is a terrible person. Or should I say the writer? There's a saying that tells you to separate the work and author, but it's tough when they insert themselves so hard into this.


    God forbid anyone inserts themselves as Zhang Ye. Busting out poems to burn people isn't even cool when you think about it. His entire shtick is a joke, and readers have to really suspend their disbelief to pretend anyone's amazed at his godly wit. Slaughtering billions of people in seconds drops jaws regardless of how generic that is. Reciting one fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish will not, no matter how much the author wants you to believe it. Imagine some wannabe rapper boasting about his new mixtape, then imagine him trying to roast someone with mad rhymes.


    Yeah, exactly. Zhang Ye's facesmacking, ladies and gentlemen. Or just gentlemen, really. This is clearly not written for womankind. For something labeled comedy, the only joke is the protagonist. The guy's problems occur because he burns more bridges than arsonists with his unhinged tongue. Believe it or not, pissing everyone off doesn't actually help your future. Many of his issues blocking his rise to stardom occur due to said pissing contests in the past. The saying "You reap what you sow" is so relevant it's no wonder it's a cliche.


    Frankly, I wanted to like this and read more than it deserved. Then I took a break, read even more, and left with a worse impression than before. And the reason is because the arcs never change. It's a formulaic rinse and repeat of:


    1. Do well (with someone else's work and effort)
    2. Someone hampers his progress (life is tough, deal with it like an adult)
    3. Zhang Ye takes out a rocket launcher (when the problem requires a fork at most)
    4. Find new field to ruin (okay. jpg)


    The fact that he often cannot work in the same field after reveals how excessive his actions are. If you're a working adult, you'd think Zhang Ye is the fresh out of college, utterly insufferable and unprofessional newbie. If you're a student, he's the guy you're forced to partner with and dicks around. He might show occasional bouts of work, but the moment someone sneezes on him, he pulls out the nukes and makes it his life goal to screw everyone over with a capital F. Unless you work at a cemetery during the graveyard shift on the moon, you'll probably work with others, and meshing with peers is essential. In a team, if a project fails cause of one person, you all goofed and everyone's fired. Once more, Zhang Ye is a child. Unfortunately, the only thing that grows is his ego and resume, and like the arcs themselves, never changes.


    What else never changes? The translations, whose quality hurts the story. When sponsored chapters are allowed, I expect good work. Yet the translator and editor double check nothing. Have they read a western English book?


    Chapter 262-
    Wang Xiong invited him to take a seat and smiled, “The episode of ‘Zhang Ye’s Talk Show’ with the highest hits has officially broken 10 million views."


    No, Wang Xiong, you can't smile dialogue. Did your smile speak? That's what's happening here, and the fact that it's happened for hundreds of chapters means it's not changing for the better. You can't laugh dialogue either (Zhang Ye laughed, "blahblahblah"). Considering the huge monologues these writers love doing to infodump, well... try laughing an entire sentence, usually an entire paragraph, word for word and see how well that turns out. There's zero mention of speaking, whether it's in the form of asked, grunted, guffawed, hissed, or whatever terrible thesaurus words are used to replace said. But at least those are grammatical. Even ejaculated would've been better than smiled. This example required a full stop. Period.


    Chapter 184-
    “To good cooperation.” Zhang Lu said.


    Now they flipped the problem. A comma is required here. That or keep the period and give Zhang Lu an action instead. Let's try something correct.


    "To good cooperation." Zhang Lu ejaculated.


    There. This actually makes sense, grammar-wise. Too bad if it's not pinned together with a comma, the entire meaning is changed. Unless you want Zhang Lu jizzing everywhere, this is why I have problems with bad editing.


    This isn't me being a grammar Nazi. These are basics ignored by 95% of translation groups that would make any reader roll their eyes at wuxia/xianxia if they passed kindergarten. I can't tell if this is a problem with Gravity Tales or the actual author writing it wrong to begin with, with the translators being true to the incorrect source. Regardless, editors could easily fix it themselves. But whatever the truth is, whoever's giving us the final product picked poorly. It is, however, a great way to learn what not to do in writing. In the end, it's no surprise finding some (most?) groups don't pay their editors, so you get what you don't shell out.


    Just kidding, you're paying 70 USD per sponsored chapter!


    Let's pretend we have a regular novel at 70k words, which is on the short end, and compare it to a 2k word chapter of IRaS. A mass produced paperback is about 8 dollars USD. You're literally paying.035/word for an amateur job whereas an actual book published and edited by professionals gives far more value for a fraction of the price. I don't expect Shakespeare, and if people want to donate then they clearly like the story, but please learn if you're accepting money. Especially when asking for $70 for a sponsored chapter. Frankly it's ridiculous, and this expands to every translation group. Consider donating to the original author too, at least. Not that I would for a story this bad.


    That's not the end of my rant. Also hurting the translation is the story's main inspiration. When its foundation relies on jokes and puns and whatnot in Chinese, the essence is lost when translated into English and even more when the supposed wit requires explanation in parentheses. Whole arcs lose impact due to this, and while not the fault of translators, it still hampers enjoyment. Unless you love not understanding anything for dozens of chapters, then I don't know.


    There's little to love about this story. Every character is flat as a board, and it's not even the "flat is justice" kind. It's the kind where they have zero personality. Zhang Ye's parents never change. They're pathetic stereotypes bordering ret*rdation. Zhang Ye's co-workers never change. They're there to blow him and say he's amazing as they swoon. Zhang Ye's love interests never change. They are there because ti*s and ass -- literally s*x objects. And notice how I didn't give names earlier? That's because everyone's the same and it doesn't matter what you call them. In war movies, they're throwaway cannon fodder you wouldn't even remember had they died. For the record, Zhang Ye never changes either, but I already told you that. He is and will always be a hypocritical creep. Or a creepy hypocrite. He's both, really.


    Let alone the story content, the way it's presented makes this low quality, unsalted, and microwaved popcorn at best. Food connoisseurs would tr*sh it because there's no saving grace. In a genre plagued with the problems above, this is bottom-of-the-barrel, and that says a lot.


    To end said review, I'll leave you with this.


    Do you enjoy protagonists with a child's sense of justice? Do you like virgins writing half-baked erotica? How about xenophobia? Hypothetically, if your mother asked for your opinion of IRaS and you said it was great, then she requested to read it, could you recommend the story? The answer is no, because I doubt your mother enjoys juvenile manchildren, mol*station, and racism. Hell, she'd give you most disgusted look in the world knowing your interests in said list. Do you want to disappoint the woman who gave birth to you?


    Again, the answer is no.


    Tl;dr Zhang Ye was a loser before for good reason.
     
  6. Halcyon Observer

    Halcyon Observer Full stop

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    I remembered this review quite vividly, lol.

    I faintly remember that there existed a review for God and Devil World that I also enjoyed reading. Unfortunately, I cannot find the comment.
     
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  7. sleib

    sleib Well-Known Member

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    angry review: https://www.novelupdates.com/series/peerless-martial-god/comment-page-6/#comment-1736
    the problem with this novel is that the author has no idea what it means to be a human. How is it that so many authors are convinced that shitty logic in the middle of intense combat/arguments will somehow be able to shame or prove anything. The obstinate will never bow to logic, and this author has only proved that he’s one of the most obstinate and stubbornly s*upid of them all. of course, other than that and the “99% of rich and powerful are tr*sh, ” the idea of the story is fun & interesting. 3 because interesting story that could be 4~5, but good enough if you have a high tolerance for s*upid characters. edit: actually, forget that. More of a 1/2 regardless of interesting concept. why do we have no one who has any hesitation to kill, or that simple yet honorable bow with "thank senior for being lenient." why is it that this is only good guys v. Bad guys. And STOP WITH THE EXPLAINING. No one gives a damn that the villain is a contradictory piece of shit. Please, explain to me the obvious logic that the guy who killed all your friends is a bad dude. No really, I need that right now. what?! really, our MC is just so f***ing s*upid. But that's just because the author has half a brain.
     
  8. ellype

    ellype Well-Known Member

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    https://www.novelupdates.com/series...-rehabilitate-the-villain-plan/#comment-94151
    i had so many expectations for this one ok. I wasn't thinking it would be like the grandmaster of demonic cultivation level with all the intricate backstories and worldbuilding but shit, this novel just went downhill harder than a skydiver with a broken parachute dude.



    we start off so promising, there's a good premise and interesting characters, the main guy isn't completely useless and has a decent personality and a goal- to raise evil brat properly. we get good exposition, some background of the cultivation systems. main dude's whole refinement thing is interesting and we get the shifu who's cool and waiting to be expanded upon. I HAD EXPECTATIONS OK. sh*t WAS GOOD.


    then volume 3 came and suddenly main's personality becomes nonexistent, his personality is like wet toilet paper, he has to be saved all the time and inexplicably starts to fall in love with evil brat. evil brat starts doing creepy ass sh*t and the dude's like -oh I don't like it *moans* ah jue do it harder - with a side of r*pe and Stockholm syndrome. let emphasize we now have a shitton of r*pe!!!! somehow more than all the other bls i've read before.


    without mentioning all the r*pe, the plotline also goes downhill it's like super rushed and like no characters but evil brat and main guy are like mentioned, good brat literally is there for some reunion feel goods to pretend this thing isn't all about the f*cking now. hahaha did I mention that? the plot is sidelined so the two can f*ck in increasingly more disturbing and r*pey scenarios. like. that's the whole plotline v.3-end. r*pe p*rn, dubcon p*rn, stokholm syndrome p*rn..... etc. THERE'S SO MANY PLOTHOLES, AND PEOPLE HE JUST LIKE... FORGETS ABOUT? LIKE WTF DUDE YOU SPENT ALL THIS TIME TRYING TO GIVE THE READERS SIDE PEOPLE AND LIKE ALL A SUDDEN YOU CUT THEM OUT LIKE U GOT AMNESIA????


    like I am so disappointed. I literally created this account just to post this like I'm so angry. it wouldn't have been as bad if this was a straight up p*rn novel, but it had lots of potential to be a good story and not just a f*ckfest with bland stock characters, like legit, I don't even remember their names now and it's been like what, 15 min since I finished the novel? I'm sorry but all you 5 star people are like delusional??? vol 1-2 was decently mediocre and 3-4+extra is just p*rn there's no plot anymore. the parasite in authors brain ate it like it was main guys as*hole and he was evil brat.


    wait lololololol the premise of this story is about some guy complaining about some sh*t ending and author did a sh*t ending, truly some great irony right there.


    IM STILL MAD!!!!!


    ps. if you really still want to read it after reading through this rant read vol. 1-2 then hope that it gets popular enough for some fanfiction writer to write a satisfactory ending. the other half read for smut if you're into that type of shit.


    *spit* I spent 5 hours on this piece of sh*t peace out

    https://www.novelupdates.com/series/the-lazy-swordmaster/#comment-31323
    Don't see what's so good about this. Premise is about this hero who got sick of it all, gave up, died, reincarnated, and just want to live a lazy life. But all I can see him as is a childish, immature as*hole who embarrasses his dad who actually cares about him compared to all the other novels out there, leech off his mom, torments and tries to kill his 70 yr old nanny mentally and emotionally (keep giving him hope and killing it over and over, intentionally because its amusing, unless it's annoying, then he dumps him), and despite his aversion to violence, is the most psychopathic villain in the story.



    He makes NO effort whatsoever, and yes I know he wants to be lazy, but he goes about doing it in the most asinine way ever. He ends up being a complete jerk and nuisance to everyone who cares about him. Being lazy takes effort (Lazy Dungeon Master), power (The Lazy King), and you should NOT be a bother or have people care for you (The Lazy King) because then, you're just an a**hole. And yeah, the MC is pretty much a complete and total a**hole.


    The MC's character is quite contradicting too. He spent his entire life refusing to touch the sword, then he suddenly show off his prowess because he wants to hurry and drink coke. He hates violence and just want to be peaceful, but 1st chance he get, he slaughters his 2nd mom's entire family because it might get annoying later. He is so traumatized by his hero past but he doesn't even retain all his memories after reincarnation. Instead, he has some dreams of his past life *psh*. And his greatest ambition is to sleep 24/7 so he get to see more of these dreams? And ok if you want to say he might have all his memories or whatever, then he died fully adult (30 ish maybe) but he still acts like an emo teenager. He runs from all his problems, bother everyone around him, makes no effort towards his ambition, which means he intends to leech off his parents forever, never show his emotions or talk about what he wants, but he does assume everyone should understand him, doesn't ever connect with his brothers so of course they just treat him like the useless baggage he is, treats every random stranger like an a**hole, then just powertrip and kill them just because he can. For example, 1st time he meets the priestess who was just a little kid, he goes - you're ugly, I hate you, you should go kill yourself. 1st time he goes to magic tower, he runs around and touches everything like a buffoon, unintentionally broadcasting his OP-ness he tried to hide his entire life. Too bad he didn't touch something more dangerous and just go to his eternal rest. He is so emotionally weak that after 15 ish years of reincarnating, he is at the exact same place he was at 15 years ago when he committed double suicide with the demon lord. He would have been so much nicer if he would have just killed himself than let his family deal with his baggage, which he never shared to anyone.


    TLDR - MC is basically an overpowered Chinese Wuxia novel protagonist - an overpowered arrogant homicidal genocidal a**hole. But he is ambitionless, scared of opposite sex, zero effort, zero intelligence, zero maturity, zero mental strength, zero emotional strength, vegetable with a penchant for drugs (coke, the drink, but he is so addicted to it might as well be coke, the drug). No hobbies, no interests, nothing he is good at because he is never shown doing anything. Not a single thing to make reading about him interesting at all. The most unbelievable thing for me is how he even became the hero in his previous life. More like tr*sh mob B. Who survives until the end because he's basically a c*ckroach.

    https://www.novelupdates.com/series/21st-century-archmage/#comment-15390
    I don't know what the author has against Chinese people (he calls them "chinks" and rambles on about how all Chinese products are sh*t every other paragraph) but it is really tiresome to have to listen to the same diatribe every single chapter. The plot and characters are really cliched. First you have this mage teleported from another dimension who is described as Gandalf, teaches this kid magic against his will, gives him a bunch of monies and then teleports the kid back to his own world to carry outrevenge for him. And the reason Gandalf doesn't want to go back is because - get this - he's old. That's right, a 8th circle mage who has lived for over 200 years doesn't want to avenge himself because he's old. You'd think an archmage would have some way of dealing with aging? Nope. He's super powerful and wiped out the European mafia by himself and teleported himself from another dimension but he can't deal with aging. Whatever. The MC is the most stereotypical shounen protag. He's like the jock you always hated in school. His girlfriend is the most bland character in all of existence. The novel has only one description for her - pretty. Yep, she's pretty and that's all we know about her even though she's one of the main characters and appeared in over 7 chapters. It's another one of those single-trait one dimensional cardboard cutouts that plague all shitty 3rd rate webnovels. In one scene the MC and her go to some jazz performance and one of the jazz players get into a car accident and the MC went to take over that person's role. Like WTF this is just a high schooler's fantasy basically. Well the MC is just a high schooler but still, who wants to read that? Despite them going on multiple dates we haven't learned anything of substance about Yerin (nor the MC for that matter) other than that she likes jazz. The reason given for why the MC's girlfriend like the MC is that the MC saved her from being r*ped that one time. F*cking really? That's the lamest most cliched excuse for a romance plot there is. MC saves a girl from being r*ped, she falls in love with him. That's what I call lazy writing. Rest of the story is equally badly written.

    https://www.novelupdates.com/series/i-really-am-not-the-lord-of-demon/#comment-213222
    A waste of potential.



    I like this kind of shopkeeper misunderstanding plot. It is interesting how the reader is just dropped into the world setting, and learns about the modern AU that the MC lives in. (Although sometimes the author gets a bit carried away with showing instead of telling, to the point that it can take irritatingly long to figure out what is going on).


    This is cheapened by pointless harem and MC s*upidity.


    In this story, the MC may as well be the last man in the multiverse, because there arefew male characters with significant screen time. And considering the author isn't very good at writing female characters, this means there are pretty much no good characters. And it skips around too much. I like stories that switch POV, but it's a bit too choppy.


    And is it necessary for there to be a setting that the literal government (including, of course, a princess) is invested in the MC getting in a relationship? Because he is the only person is this Tier A or whatever that has never been in a relationship (and he is an ancient "24, " the horrors). It's just so contrived. And s*upid that the government would keep track of something like that.


    And I know that the MC needs to have a certain amount of s*upidity to keep the misunderstanding of his shop going, and I'm willing to accept that. But does he need to somehow accidentally eat mystic items his customers give him in exchange for books? Like have him magically absorb them or something, not just a repeat of "I better put this away in case the customer comes back to redeem it-->oops! Somehow I accidentally drank this [insert items such as leaves or a rock] -->gosh, I sure hope the customer doesn't ask me to pay for this."


    Ironically though, despite his s*upidity, I don't dislike the MC. He's kind of a loser, and overly obsessed with games, but he's not bad (even a bit endearing). I just wish the rest of the story was better. But, despite the ways in which it's lacking, I'm willing to give it 3 stars (it's more like 2.5). Just don't expect too much.

    https://www.novelupdates.com/series...ror-this-life-is-trash-prince/#comment-143790
    This is unreal. How come such a garbage of a light novel got 4.5? I ve made an account at 5:00 am just because of this story. I ve been reading this reincarnation genre for 4 years and I ve read every book about reincarnation in this website but holy $%#@ was it difficult to read this one



    First of all, make no mistake I know what this "kind" of novel tries to do usually. It presents an MC who was the best at this or that in his world. He reincarnates in this or that world and starts flexing his power while trying to hide it. Thi is the important part cause it pushes the reader to recognize himself in the character or I d say to recognize himself in the " normal " side of the MC. I call this kind of novel a self-m*sturbation novel. It s my guilty pleasure, I know and I ain t gonna lie. This kind of novel doesn t need to be a master piece you can ignore its flaws but it has one job and it s to immerse you in the story but... this garbage of an author can t even do this one thing right. Come on man you had one job.


    1. The MC is realllllllllly the embodiment of the word edgy. You know there is a fine line between being cool and just freaking edge lord. Try to guess in which category this MC falls. He starts off being interesting, but he ends up acting like a teenager with a chuunibyou syndrome. I ended up skiping some parts while reading cause I just can t believe the sh*t he is spitting

    After saving the kingdom he is allied with, the princess asks him how to get as strong as him and guess what he says? "Do you want to become a beast like me"... I mean for real man why can t you give a normal answer. The best part is how he died in his forner life. Apparently he reached the top in swordmanship and guess what happened? Did he die of old age or all the martial artists go after gis life. Nope, He freaking killed himself cause yeah loneliness. He was killed by his own edginess


    2. The story is way too rushed. And makes no sense. The MC goes from not wanting to interefere in the war to participating to wondering why he took part in that war.

    he says he wants to lead a peaceful life and taking the sword will lead him to death and be held down by his desire to get stronger (f***** cringe, right ?) but guess what ? 3 chapters later, he meets someone who is dying on the battlefield. he decides to fight cause he wanna die with a smile in his face like that guy...2 chapters later he is like why did I fight that war...


    3. The characters don t have a personnality. Seems like their thinking process is that of a 6 years old and they are only there to help the MC to be more cringy than he already is. Not gonna lie the moment I think the MC can t be more cringy, there comes a character to help him to reach another level of cringe.


    I can keep going on and on but I gotta sleep. Just don t read this story please have some respect for yourself and your time


    If you wanna read something go
    read solo leveling, second comimg of gluttony or the novel s extra. Any of these is was better than this shitty story.
     
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  9. sjmcc13

    sjmcc13 Well-Known Member

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    What do you expect, readers are not that much more intelligent then the average population in general, and there is a huge tendency for idiots to believe that they know best or are geniuses, which leads to them being loudmouths screaming out their "universal truths".

    It is worse on manga sites, but ya, there are people who leave bad ratings and reviews for as little as a tag in the story, and the number of reviews out there calling a work dull, uninspired, derivative, or a copy and paste job when the reviewer has not read beyond or even finished the introduction or prologue.

    I have seriously seen reviews or comments that are the direct equivalent of saying that 2 westerns are the same because they both started with a cowboy riding in to town, or 2 Film Noir features are the same because they opened with a detective being visited by a Femme Fatale in their office. Ya know the framing devices used to set the stage for the story have the same core skeleton so obviously they stories are direct copies of each other. But I have long since realized those comments all come from ether idiots or racist trolls trying to complain and diss stories from the cultures they hate without sounding like a racist but they never bothered to read enough to form an actual review of the story.

    Then there are the reviewers who call stuff garbage, because they are not even close to the intended audience and since it was not written for their exact tastes is has to be 100% irredeemable garbage. I especially see this from closet sociopaths who want their MC's to be unfeeling serial killers that brutally slaughters anyone who so much as looks at them wrong. So when the MC acts like a mature adult as opposed to a raving murder machine, and does something like not kill someone because they do not have the legal authority to do so instead handing that person over to the local equivalent of law enforcement the story is irredeemable crap. Then there are also the idiots who complain that slow life stories are crap, because they are still living sheltered lives so they do not understand that those stories are often written for people working soul crushing jobs for whom a eternal vacation is the ideal escapist fantasy.
     
  10. Nepagear

    Nepagear Well-Known Member

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    well that's their opinion...what I mean is that not all of us has the same taste or likes, like for me I'm actually a Netorare, Netorase novel like reader, and some of you may cuss or curse the novel because you don't like it even though there's already a tag as a warning.....in the end it's the human curiosity and over expectations that leads to disappintment or that we just cannot accept it that it affects and clouds our emotion to judge and review a novel or work altogether
     
  11. sleib

    sleib Well-Known Member

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    I think you misunderstood what I wrote. I made this thread to find the types of reviews I mentioned in my first comment, I do not care what genre they criticize or glorify.
     
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  12. Ddraig

    Ddraig Frostfire Dragon|Retired lurker|FFF|Loved by RNG

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    Man this one is just peak art and worth reading whenever it gets posted.
    Can you link the other two with permalinks instead? They dont seem to jump to any review for me.
     
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  13. sleib

    sleib Well-Known Member

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    I think they are permalinks though. I did copy and post all those reviews in my reply below otaku31 if you want to read them.
     
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  14. Ddraig

    Ddraig Frostfire Dragon|Retired lurker|FFF|Loved by RNG

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  15. otaku31

    otaku31 Well-Known Member

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    But I put the permalinks in my original post. :hmm:
    They even take you directly to those particular reviews.

    Checked again. Yup, they still work for me.
     
    Last edited: May 30, 2021
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  16. SylviaViolet

    SylviaViolet Toast to the ones that we lost on the way⚓️

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    Holy shit I can't laugh anymore, the review for IRAS! The author would probably cry if he saw this!!
    (I know I quoted the previous message too but I can't find the divide among all this text so I'll just leave it there........)
     
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  17. Halcyon Observer

    Halcyon Observer Full stop

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    To be honest, I would definitely read a cultivation novel solely based upon fast food restaurant chains and unironically enjoy reading it.
     
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