Discussion Anyone Else Feel This Way?

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Kumo723, Jun 23, 2021.

  1. Kumo723

    Kumo723 玄夜的帝后

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    Does anyone else ever feel really humiliated and upset with someone else scolds you? I recently had a new full time job and I LITERALLY gets scold and lectured EVERYDAY in front of EVERYONE. The workers, the customers.

    I'm new to this job and unlike Westerners bosses, they are impatient Chinese. I'm the type who shuts down and become dazed in the face of scolding and it doesn't help me improve my job skills AT ALL. Only fear and humiliation is left. I improve better if people were to be more soft worded or at least scold me in private. I managed to endure for two weeks before I broke down crying today, my day off.

    Is anyone else like this? Do anyone know how to overcome this fear of humiliation? This fear is preventing me from making irl friends.
     
    Greater thunder likes this.
  2. Simon

    Simon [The Pure One's Chief Steward][Demon Beast]

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    No, I've told my boss to fuck off.
     
  3. Kumo723

    Kumo723 玄夜的帝后

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    I don't have that courage and this is a job away from my house like an hour or more away and I live in their house. It's not boss I forgot, it boss lady. If it's the boss I wouldn't feel that way. It's the boss lady. So basically I'm at their mercy. Fuck you Mom. All cuz of your stupid idea
     
  4. NovelSchemer

    NovelSchemer Well-Known Member

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    Woah~ so cool!~
    When my teacher scolds me in front of class, I secretly cuss them in my heart. hehe~
     
  5. Kumo723

    Kumo723 玄夜的帝后

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    I wish I have u guys confidence. You guys r rlly cool :aww::blob_teary::sweating_profusely:
     
  6. gtreed

    gtreed Well-Known Member

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    Oh yeah it's so draining. I have a pretty bad memory but I never forget the times I get scolded or embarrassed. I just remind myself that I'm the only one who cares and everybody else forgets it soon enough
     
  7. Kumo723

    Kumo723 玄夜的帝后

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    I tried that but I barely have time to take a breather and calm myself down. All my depressive emotions just gets bottled and bottled continuously
     
  8. Lissi

    Lissi 『Queen of Lissidom』『Holy Chibi』『Western Birdy』『⚓』

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    I really hate being scolded in any way, shape, or form. Recieving criticism also feels terrible, depending on how harshly it's delivered.

    You're not the only one :blob_patpat:
     
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  9. Kumo723

    Kumo723 玄夜的帝后

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    :blob_teary::blob_teary::blob_teary:
     
  10. kkgoh

    kkgoh Well-Known Member

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    Sorry to hear.

    Is this a retail type job? With a larger company, or smaller shop where the lady IS the boss?
    You should try to speak to your boss about it even if it's difficult to bring up. To avoid sounding too aggressive, sincerely ask for advice for what you're doing wrong and how you can improve.

    If none of that works after a week or so, then your boss might be on the abusive side and you should find another job.
     
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  11. Greater thunder

    Greater thunder Well-Known Member

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    Had a boss yelling at me cuz of their money troubles (small, private, selfrun business with other stuff packaged in- think welcoming tourists, parking place, apartment rental,.....) that had zero connections to me for 3-4 weeks multiple times every day.

    Yes, he was obligated to pay me on top his other shit. So what? Why look for a worker?

    He knew he couldn't split himself into 3-4 doubles and work it all alone simultaneously. Did my job fine until the last day when I snapped back, without cursing, that I was not his venting therapy dummy, not paid enough to also run his finances, and not stealing the petty amounts of customer cash (seriously, there was plenty of daily traffic, but my residence is at most an hour drive away from work and I would have been blacklisted even if there was no successful prosecution for theft) despite his paranoia and if that still wasn't enough, then that was my last day.

    His retort was some more screaming and telling me I was fired immediately. I was scared he'd use that to totally deny me my monthly pay (yes, not weekly, monthly here) and absolutely furious (I retorted just 5-10 minutes short of ending the shift and planning to not continue coming next month) I fucked up in clutch time.

    Can only say I was stupid lucky his partner talked reason into him, I worked another week or so and got all the pay I was owed. I also never worked again for the greedy asshole.

    I had advantages over your situation. Didn't live with the boss and thet never directly saw where I live as far as I know.

    Its also true that no money can be worth the harm that tretment does to you and that you simultanouesly need the cash so bad.

    It depends on you whether you wish to seek out another job or suffer that one. One final bit, if your parents aren't in some higher circles financially, don't take their job ideas and recommendations. Mine are still stuck in the mindset of when they were young and apparently sturdy as oxen and keep telling me to get a heavy physical job (dockworking, manual warehouse laborer,.....) when the only job market our country and surroundings kept modern and less shit to work at is the tourism sector.

    What work you can get depends on you. Your parents telling you how they persevered through some hardship or other means that's all they can see for you, why track employment opportunities outside local gossip and old memory after all?

    You are far better off looking yourself for a new job and quitting this after securing a new financial and residential security.

    Whatever you choose, good luck.
     
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  12. ongoingwhy

    ongoingwhy Meat Pie Lover

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    Sounds like a toxic workplace. If you're not paid well enough to suffer abuse like this, you should just find another job. I had a manager who was paid at least 7-8k USD per month but still resigned because he was getting verbally abused by the customers everyday. His replacement resigned before the probation period was even over.
     
  13. Kumo723

    Kumo723 玄夜的帝后

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    It's a waitress job. I guess I'll try to muster up my courage

    Yes, I also have monthly pay with 3800 a month.i was told by an co that I should at least try to match that pay but I'm trying! I rlly am! And I also feel afraid that they'd deny me my pay if I snap back and quit
     
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  14. Deleted member 363076

    Deleted member 363076 Guest

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    People who had lived wa~ay mo~ore than us are always dissatisfied with our skillset and work ethic, thus the criticism and belittling.
    For them, their way of doin' things is something they learned over time and is a life lesson and ours pale in comparison because we are 'new', amateur and some little kids~
    Try searching for other jobs with better environment while working, if it seems intolerable 'coz ur health esp mental health is what matters the most. Good luck, mate:blobhug:
     
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  15. Dokja6116

    Dokja6116 not suspicious

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    I haven't really worked in any part-time jobs and the likes, so I'm not really knowledgeable about stuff like those, so all I can really say is, whenever you're sad, you're welcome to confide in the NUF family~~:blobReach:
     
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  16. Kumo723

    Kumo723 玄夜的帝后

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    Wow damn

    Thx, I will

    That's what I do ^^
     
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  17. Simon

    Simon [The Pure One's Chief Steward][Demon Beast]

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    The thing about my job is that I'm a specialist and they can't easily replace me. If I decided to just quit and walk out, the company has to hire a person from half way around the world to train the next person. It would cost the cost the company a lot of money.

    Plus, just about everyone the company gives me as an assistant, have been r-tards.
     
  18. reagents 11

    reagents 11 disaster personified

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    Here's the trick i learn.
    Pretend you're an actor. Pretend you're an actor with a definite objective that you need to achieve from the interaction you make and from the peoples around you. Your objective simply to get what you want from them and for that you need to act out the facial emotions and demeanor to get what you need and maneuver/manipulate their reaction to where you need them.
     
  19. AliceShiki

    AliceShiki 『Ms. Tree』『Magical Girl of Love and Justice』

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    Can't say I ever dealt with a situation like yours, but I was scolded and hit all the time by my parents back when I was younger, and it definitely did absolutely nothing to improve my behavior... It just harmed my relationship with them and made me more irritable.

    I don't really have a good advice for you, just... Consider how much you really need this job, because your mental sanity is far more important than money... Of course, if you really really really need the money, you'll have to suck it up, but otherwise, consider quitting and trying to find work with sensible people instead.
     
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  20. Bad Storm

    Bad Storm no thought, head empty

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    I'm not used to scolding either. I grew up in an environment with nice people. Even if I make mistakes, they are soft in their approach. I've never been hit or scolded. The only times I experienced it is when a teacher scolds the whole class... so I'm usually just implicated.

    Stay strong, OP. You can vent here. All I can say is try to either push yourself to improve on the job until you have no more visible flaws. If they've scold you even after that, find a different job. It may be hard at first but it would be harder staying with an incompetent or power-tripping boss. They would never treat you well enough.