Discussion Just wanna ask the impact of confessing your feelings to someone

So I told my story to a friend just now then after that I got confused when she said "confessing means a date," so now I'm quite intrigued about the outcome. So last year I confessed my feelings to a guy something like "I like you but if you dislike my feelings it's ok" then after that we became a lover then somewhere in February this year I broke our relationship (not necessarily dating like seriously?) Well anyway before I did that the guy thought that we were dating because he said something like once I confessed we immediately became a couple since he didn't reject me. He thought for me to be his girlfriend like what the heck????

So nuffians, please tell me if I was dating or not plus I acknowledged him as both a friend and a lover so what was my relationship?

Still, if you don't get it just ask which part..

 

I mean... if you saying "I like you" was in the context of, "I like you, just wanted you to know that", it doesn't mean a relationship, necessarily, if you make it obvious to him.

But if it's taken as a "I like you, hey wanna go out with me?" kind of thing, and you guys go on a date... yeah, I'd assume you two are in a relationship, you know?

 

relationship is complicated
confessing is complicated
I would like to burrow into a hole

 

So let's go back to the root of all evil. What is a confession? A confession is something you do to maybe vent out your feelings but the real reason why you confess is because you want to tell the other that "hey I don't only like you in a friendly way" and from what I've read he didn't really give you an answer to your confession so he was one sidedly assuming your relationship after you confessed. So no you weren't dating you only had that mu or mutual understanding but no you weren't dating or were a couple.

 

From my experience: If you like someone, just tell them. They don't need to return the feelings, and that might hurt, but it usually helps you get over them too, and it's good to clear the air and make sure you can stay friends. If you're worried about it 'ruining the friendship' I think that is more often an over-exaggerated outcome most of the time.

As for your situation:
I don't think confessing = date.
And I think @Lois. above explains pretty well what I was going to say anyway, so I'll stop here and not repeat it.

 

Don't you usually have to work out date details? Like where, when, and what you'll be doing together?
That said, I have been so oblivious that I didn't realise a girl was confessing to me and she thought we were dating but I had no clue.

 

If you did not clarify that you were dating or the other person didn’t clarify their feelings it’s not dating it’s just keep you as a just in case if they can’t find someone better they have you as backup that’s why it was never clarified

 

U were obviously DATING each oth!
Besides u said u like him, right! It was in romantic context, right?!
~

 

… Am I the only one who didn’t realize confessing was even a thing in real life? Where I’m from, people don’t usually start a relationship by confessing, one person usually just asks the other out for coffee or something and it’s implied that they’re interested in the other. This is quite a bit of culture shock…

 

Yup, like what are you even supposed to do if someone comes out of the blue and confesses his/her feelings for you despite having only talked like three times in months. lol

 

Well you can suggest trial dates to hang out with each and see if you guys are interested for a relationship

 

In my culture:
confessing your feelings > dating
That's kinda due to the fact that there are no way of saying "i like you" And stuff and would directly be "i love you". Also only kids tend to get into a relationship that way and adults usually get together using apps or by kissing and doing lewd stuff, but even then that does not mean the other person loves you (or even likes you sometimes), because confessing your feelings is most of the time a way to say you want the relationship to go further.

 

sounds like a bad case of not talking about it with the guy thoroughly. The status wasn't cleared up and both of you prolly didn't question what you two are.

 

Every time i'm confessing, the girls properly reject my feeling. While it hurts i think i am glad they didn't play with my feeling.

 

So in conclusion, we weren't dating? Ooh thank God!! That means I've no ex-boyfriend just ex-lovers

 

There is also difference between western and eastern though

 

It's very simple.
You either get accepted or rejected.
A person has many loves but only one true love and it's the one that lasts.

 

TBH, Person A confessing to Person B and having the feelings reciprocated not leading to dating or a marriage proposal would be weird in my eyes.

 

I----, where do you even live? I might take my -future- crush there. Just to save me from saying things I'd regret.

To me, yep.

Spoiler

Confession, unless accepted explicitly/clearly doesn't mean you're dating. But, uh, what do I know. No one has accepted my confession.