Just Horrible

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Wujigege, Aug 1, 2021.

  1. Wujigege

    Wujigege *Christian*SIMP*Comedian

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    When I was a kid, I thought dowries were better than bride price where women were bought and sold to the highest bidder but I learnt it is just as bad when I grew up.

    Why couldn't her family get her divorced immediately or try to annul the marriage as soon as he started making more demands and she was being treated as a prisoner?

    To me, the fear of the stigma of divorce that they rather stay in horrible marriages is just as big of a problem

    @MangoGuy @ludagad @AliceShiki @Lissi

    https://edition.cnn.com/2021/07/31/india/india-kerala-dowry-deaths-intl-hnk-dst/index.html
     
    Last edited: Aug 3, 2021
  2. MangoGuy

    MangoGuy Rambling Mango

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    Oh boy... Dowry is such a complex topic in India with a truly complex history... In short, it is illegal. And in reality, if you don't involve dowry in a marriage, then your marriage is looked upon as that of a fool.
     
  3. Deleted member 367916

    Deleted member 367916 Guest

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    Both divorce and dowry are taboo subjects...
    Divorce is not always 'welcomed', the tag of a 'Divorcee' will forever taint your identity!
    Dowry on the other hand, is a subject of familial pride, the more dowry and assets given to the groom's family, the more higher will be its status in prevalent societal hierarchies~
    To add, if you're a woman, divorced and from a economically weak family, you will lead a miserable and unfortunate life! Given the majority of the society does not welcome or flexible enough to understand them.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 1, 2021
  4. mir

    mir Well-Known Member

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    :<
     
  5. Wujigege

    Wujigege *Christian*SIMP*Comedian

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    You are missing the point.
    Is divorce worse than death?

    Exactly, maybe the women should be thought taught to not place their value solely on marriage.
    In the article, her family sent her back. It's the environment but they are partly to blame. She was like a prisoner with no access to communication and they think it is okay to send her back.

    There was a time were when society required killing of twins as they were considered bad luck.
    Just because it is a custom and most people doing do it does that not make it any less stupid.

    Dowry is getting people killed. So much so that there is a law referencing dowry death.
    What is the value of a tradition if it kills you?
     
    Last edited: Aug 1, 2021
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  6. Deleted member 367916

    Deleted member 367916 Guest

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    You said I missed the point, I kinda wanted to bring the plight of the women in patriarchal society to light. These women are between the devil and the deep sea~

    Almost akin to social death...?
     
  7. Despapa69

    Despapa69 Revered 17 Syllable Sage

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    What made you think of talking about dowries and marriages, you binging a drama or something?

    I've always heard about dowries but only today I've read the definition.
     
  8. Reaper.ChaosKamifumetsu

    Reaper.ChaosKamifumetsu ‖True Chaos‖Twisted Prodigy‖True Energy‖Gamer God‖

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    Tradition or so they say but in the first place it can be proved false.
    Many traditions in india are misinterpreted to make it convienent for a particular party.
    Records of dowry show that it was between kingdoms and generally given by both parties to the other as gratitude.
    It was never a status, it turned into one for unknown reasons.
    Also many a times in past there was reverse dowry too.
     
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  9. Wujigege

    Wujigege *Christian*SIMP*Comedian

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    Just came across it on CNN's website.

    But social death or real death?
    Which is better?

    I blame her family for her death.
    There were enough warning signs, his demands were exorbitant. He beat her so much they took her back home(also barred her from social media,phone and other communication) but they later sent her back alone

    She could have gotten divorced and stayed alive. She could move to a new town where no one knows she was divorced. She was getting a medical degree. Should have been able to earn a living but then again, she could have been a victim of this :

    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acid_attack
     
    Last edited: Aug 1, 2021
  10. Despapa69

    Despapa69 Revered 17 Syllable Sage

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    Oh, I didn't catch the link to the article due to you having so much text on your post. It is a sad story sure but its a somewhat common occurrence, this was somehow incredibly publicised. Dowry practices will definitely still be practiced until the end of our lifespans.
     
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  11. Deleted member 367916

    Deleted member 367916 Guest

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    It all narrows down to your perspective—people easily throw away their lives when they find that their reputation has plummeted...
    Imo, nothing could be worse than 'the actual death'.
    Thus, I certainly agree with your stance but you should also understand that despite the fact that we're currently in the modern era, some parts of the world are still stuck in the past...
     
  12. Despapa69

    Despapa69 Revered 17 Syllable Sage

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    I somewhat agree and disagree. It definitely is up to perspective. In my opinion, the worst thing you could experience naturally without human intervention such as torture, kidnapping, etcetera is Fibrodysplasia ossificans progressiva. If you wanna learn about it, here :
    https://rarediseases.info.nih.gov/diseases/6445/fibrodysplasia-ossificans-progressiva .
     
  13. Wujigege

    Wujigege *Christian*SIMP*Comedian

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    I don't disagree but seeking counseling helps with that.
    Social death is all mental.
    Mental health stigma is the reason why social death is dangerous.
    Some of the victims of dowry crime committed suicide.
    I was focusing on the victim who was rescued and sent back
     
  14. Deleted member 367916

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    Hmm.
    Well, you could expect nothing less from congenital disorders...
    Agreed.
     
  15. Lissi

    Lissi 『Queen of Lissidom』『Holy Chibi』『Western Birdy』『⚓』

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    This depends on the person and how you were raised though, right?

    Like how in historical novels you read about officials committing suicide to preserve their reputation or values. To them, real death is better.

    Though I'd choose social death simply because I want to live...
     
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  16. MangoGuy

    MangoGuy Rambling Mango

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    Dowry isn't exactly a tradition even now. It is simple business. If a girl is found to be somehow unattractive, a higher dowry is expected by the groom. If the groom is found to be having exceptional status in society, a higher dowry is expected. While we use the word dowry, in practice, it can be in the form of other gifts or land deeds and such.

    What about the case where the girl is better qualified than the groom? Such marriages don't happen unless it is kinda like a love marriage. In that situation, dowry technically ain't around.
     
  17. Wujigege

    Wujigege *Christian*SIMP*Comedian

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    Tradition is just a good cover for human greed at the end of the day.
    They just hide behind the word.
     
  18. reagents 11

    reagents 11 disaster personified

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    Frankly speaking this just happen mostly to marriages that happened in unequal footing. In this cases the women side families seems especially destitute in comparison to the male counterpart.
    As i see them it apply to both women and men.
     
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  19. Wujigege

    Wujigege *Christian*SIMP*Comedian

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    A Nation Without Women comes to mind
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matrubhoomi
    In patriarchal societies, it is the women suffering. It explains the gender imbalance in China
    Humans are so stupid that we seem to be doing everything to go extinct as soon as possible
     
    Last edited: Aug 1, 2021
  20. MangoGuy

    MangoGuy Rambling Mango

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    Just an fyi, but in India, the legal backing for dowry cases is pretty good. Women don't need to despair, and can instead go ahead and get themselves help. Unfortunately, optics come into play. Firstly, a good chunk of media stories about dowry cases are about misuse of law by the women. They are trying to Gaslight. Secondly, there is the issue of reputation for certain families. The kids rather die than divorce and go back home. Often times, the wealth given away in dowry doesn't come back after divorce due to non documentation.
     
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