I just wanted to know if everyone thinks getting married in your 20s and having kids is normal because I've seen my cousins get married and all of them have kids like within a year and they don't even have second thoughts about it. It's like as soon as they finish their education at 25 or something their families start looking for their partners and within an year or 2 they get married and have kids like it's normal... I want to shake them and ask them so many times like how do they even do it as if that's normal (but I'm scared to ask them cause i'm afraid they'll think I'm not normal). For me starting a relationship itself is very scary and then having kids... nuh I don't even want to have them(many reasons) Do you think maybe the reason is because all most all of them finished their education depending on money from their parents? (and also their lives are basically decided for them like complete ur B.Tech from some college then go to US for MS using their parents money and then a job and yet... they all still depend on their parents) It's not just me who is repulsive of marriage but also my brother because we both have our own dreams which we want to achieve and be financially independent and don't even want a family we are just fine the way we are (and yes we both are nerds and our parents made us pay our fees by taking out loans and asking us to pay it ourselves)
Well. extremely so. I'm Asian, and in my country, almost everyone gets married in their 20s - planned or unplanned. If anything, getting married in your 30s and beyond is often seen as "late". I think it's only recently that the younger generation thinks otherwise, and has become prone to postponing thoughts of marriage as late as possible.
dude!! please no kids I don't want to feed or change diapers and I'm scared to hold a kid they are fragile beings and I'm not I'm an Asian too (Indian to be specific) but my generation is getting married too as if that's normal they are only like 5 years older than me
Honestly it’s normal. But then again everyone different. Personality I don’t think it’s smart to get married in your early 20s but if you can provide and be independent. Why not right? Marrying so young can cause several problems. Have you seen what happens in China for example? Most marriages there end up in divorce because of pressure from family and they usually end up cheating on each other with both being aware of it. Simply stay together just to relieve parents. Me personally, I’ve seen young successful couples in their 20s where I live. I’m green with envy Lol Idk your family circumstances but getting into debt so young will get in the way of your plans. Here in Cali so many young people get in debt that they cant get married early. I hope you can find independence and live in freedom*thumbs up*
Answering your first question: I just wanted to know if everyone thinks getting married in your 20s and having kids is normal? Yes, but also no. Here in my country, some parents encourage their children to get married as soon as they hit 20s. Reaching 30s & single, they will call you "old virgin". In extreme cases, even young teenagers are already get married. But some 20ish adults know that they need to be financially independent to start their own family, even if their marriage would happen when they're in their 30s. Or just like you, they won't get married. But social pressure exists so... I feel like it depends on how their social environment influences them to do so. Some are forced, some are willing. It's just how life happens I guess. Some people already found "the one", decided to get married & have kids... Some people are focused on career & getting stable financially first before getting married, or maybe they decided to never get married. They probably have their own arrangements to decide to get married quite early. Anyway, it would be better to mind ourselves & focus on how to cope with life. Sometimes life is unexpected, like how you found your cousins get married in their 20s. Stick to what you believe is good & makes you happy, I guess.
I got married at 32. That was fine. We’re only talking about the possibility of kids right now. There’s nothing wrong with not wanting to marry or not wanting kids. Those are valid choices too. No. I went through college with money from my parents, and as I said, I didn’t get married until 32.
my parents had my oldest brother when they were 32/30 me at 38/36 it might just be a difference in mindset ah and they fund all 3 of our education (they save up bit by bit for all of us since we were born, it's just how things are in my home)
It is fairly common. However it is also common to get married in your 30s and 40s. That's why a lot of countries have a increasing birthrate year after year. Kids are expensive and a lot of work. There is also a growing trend of people not having children. Also not getting married is becoming a trend. As for me, I don't want kids, ever. I also don't want to get married as I have issues with the institution of marriage. I don't want to be alone forever, I just don't want marriage and kids.
I have no plans to get married yet because I know how hard it is to take care of babies. They're cute... sure. But, they're so hard to care for. I know because at some point in my younger days - before high school - I had to look after my siblings and my cousins when they were babies. Making them sleep, changing their diapers, feeding them, calming their tantrums down...ahh shit. I'm getting stressed out just remembering.
I know your pain. I felt with this before, and worst is one of my siblings is having a baby either this week or next week. The baby was due yesterday. As is tradition they will be staying with us so that we can help look after the child and the mother can recover.
Getting married in your 20s was ideal, because you get to provide offspring as early as possible. However in today's society, not getting married in your 20s is becoming more norm, because of the high living costs. The age of ideal marriage is kinda corelated to the number of population in the world. The more overpopulated, the higher the age of marriage. Now, the norm for getting married is late 20s and early thirties so it's okay to delay your marriage if you're not comfortable with marrying too young.
Probably depends on family/country culture~ My siblings and I are 25~30 and no one is planning to get married yet We're all single and not very ready to mingle *cough cough* And my parents really don't mind~
Look at it from your children's point of view. If intellectual people marry and make babies early, the future generations will have a lot more intellectuals. If intellectuals won't make babies early, citing "We don't think we're ready for it yet", it will eventually get harder for you to make babies. The earlier you make babies, the more of your good genes your children inherit. The later you make babies, the more damaged genes your children inherits from you. Plus, if you won't make babies, stupid people will make babies early in your stead anyway. In the future, we'll have a world where Asshattery and Penetrator is the normal names. And the only one you can put your hopes on is Not Sure, assuming he didn't get his ass penetrated by Beef Supreme's super huge screwdriver first. Don't be scared to hold a baby. They are not the most durable thing ever, but they are also not as fragile as you think. The first time Ai-chan held Ai-chan's sister's baby Ai-chan was afraid too. But just be careful and nothing will happen. They won't suddenly break their necks just because you hold them wrong.
Well my friend's brother got married just after high school and both went to same uni... Luckily it isn't so bad in my family, most my older cousins or younger "uncles" got married somewhere in late 20's to early 30's. But yeah 30 is seen as bit late... Personally I'm perfectly clear I have no interest in settling down rt now, not to mention just thinking of the money I need to earn for more than one mouth....nope not until I'm a filthy rich old man well most flowers flock to old golds anyway.
Depends on sociological context. Nothings wrong with you for finding that weird. It shows you've made your own opinion on things and seeing people blindly abide to unspoken norm is weirding you out. Not that the norm themselves are bad or anything, I find people who get married at twenty and have kids impressive. But it's weird how people follow them without questioning it and figuring out which of life's options is truly suited for them. In my area, it's uncommon for things to go that quickly. People get "married" in their late 20 till their late 30. And there aren't any arranged marriage, it's the cult of love. And depending on the couple, there can be 5 or more years between the "marriage" and the kids, for money and career reasons but also to cement and enjoy their relationship before jumping into parenthood. Some don't have kids cuz they don't want to. There's still societal pressure to get together and to have a kid once you are "married" and to have a second kid once you have the first one, but it is mitigated. There's a strong individualism mentality, so people are expected to do what they want and achieve their own goals. I put "" because few people really go through the procedures to get married nowadays, it just causes technical hassles if they later separate, and even less do a religious marriage. So I was talking about the time they decide to be companions for life as marriage, but it's not their real administrative status.
Hmm.....different people, different priority I guess. They prioritized parent's approval/normalcy to be the same in the circle. You and your bro prioritized your own principle. Nothing's wrong for me. Just how my friend will prioritize saving money to travelling and hanging out with friends. Me? I prioritize saving and not saving but to buy stuff and to waste time with my cats.
Being married in Europe is considered 'uncool'. People typically don't get married or start having kids till their thirties here. You are hardly done growing up at age 25. The person you marry at 25 won't be the same person in his thirties. Divorces are rising lika a tsunami in Asian countries now that conservative values are weakening and sexism is being battled. Don't be another number in that statistic sista.
probably a cultural difference with regards to parents : Asian parents tend to nag at their kids to get married. Anyways, marriage is pushed for various reasons on the macro scale, but imo you should do what you want. We all only got one life. No point blindly following what others are doing without thinking if it really makes you as happy as they seem to be. And hell, we all change too, so it just comes down to how well you understand yourself. Some people don't get married or get married "late" and regret it, but some people get married, have kids, and then regret it.
Its not so much about bc they are dependent on their parents. Its the society they are brought up in. Some societies pressure people to get marry early. And it sucks. People can be marrying early just for the sake of marrying early instead of finding a compatible partner who they want to spend a lifetime together. And guess where that leads to if things don't go well? Remember, long ago, human life expectancy was shorter. Thus, they want you marry early and have next offspring before you die. In some places, that is still the mindset and also bc their life expectancy may not be as high as other places. But nowadays, human life expectancy is getting better and longer. Which is why in certain and many places, the average marriage age is bumped up. People also delay because rising high standard living and expenses. How to bring someone else in when can barely take care of self? 30 years old is old back then bc people don't live that long. Nowadays 30 yrs old can still travel still be healthy; they can do all kinds of things people back then didn't think was possible. Some societies call 30yrs too old when they are pretty fine and healthy happy individuals. Yes, as get older, there is a biological clock and small percentage to birth defects increase (for both genders who become parents). But it also depends on a lot of things; and each person is different. And in early 30s? Believe plenty of people still in 30s marry and have healthy happy kids. After 35 hear bit different, but depends. some had kids late still healthy. Also depends on couples too. Some marry early but went with the right people so they are in happy marriages. Some people marry early and had ups and downs but they gone through it and still stuck together as a couple. Others who are not ready and then get married? They split bc it wasn't the right person. In some cases, it can ruin them or make them wish they never did it. So its best to marry when ready. Yes, there's a biological clock. But marry when ready and when find right person. If marry just for sake of marrying, does it increase your chance of getting stuck to a partner you're not so compatible with? Possible and it may be worse if marry wrong person and had kids with them and stuck.