Discussion Internet friendships and relationships

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Bad Storm, Oct 10, 2021.

?

Once upon a time, a dog fell from the sky and into a lake...

  1. ...but it was winter and the lake was frozen so the dog died.

    24.2%
  2. ...and swam happily ever after.

    21.2%
  3. ... It couldn't swim and thus, it drowned.

    21.2%
  4. ... It couldn't swim but a nice young man saved it and took care of it ever since.

    12.1%
  5. ... and became one of the lake town's seven mysteries.

    21.2%
  6. ...WHUT?!

    6.1%
  7. ... and happily noms skullie with me.

    21.2%
  8. Stormy... are you drunk again? (I went to a birthday! Drinking is normal!)

    9.1%
Multiple votes are allowed.
  1. Gandire Alea

    Gandire Alea [Wicked Awesome Translator]

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    and now you discover another~

    Also

     
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  2. Baldingere

    Baldingere Roseau pensant

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    Harry did
     
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  3. Bad Storm

    Bad Storm no thought, head empty

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    I strangely missed that! Good catch :blobrofl:
     
  4. Shizukani

    Shizukani Chronically stressed

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    Hmm... Story time! (I think I shared this before... Idk)

    Once upon a time, there was the peak of when a greater bulk of my friends were online friends.

    I don't know if people usually do this, but I tend to like, talk about my friends to other friends... Like, "my friend, ____, is from here and she/he is ____ etc etc." Like that. And then, this one time, I spoke like that to my sis, and she like told me in a mocking/pitying tone, "Awww you consider them as real friends."
    And... I was embarassed. :blobsad: *sigh* I didn't know how to defend myself and I didn't get angry or anything you know. It made me doubt myself as well (which us the norm for me lol) But I was kinda hurt. I forgot exactly how I felt like then, but I guess I was embarassed because maybe deep down I knew they were gonna react like that. From then on, I was extra careful about speaking about my online friends like that. In fact, I only let it slip in the first place cause I was talking to my sibling, and I have always been very very careful about hiding it towards my RL friends. Because I felt like they would judge me. Tsk. Thinking about it now, I'm so annoyed. Especially at myself. Well, I am working on it, and I have already opened up about my online friends to my close rl friends. :blob_pout: Their reactions well... were like "oh-okay" :blobupset:

    I do believe that friendships I made online are as real as my friendships irl. Heck, in some ways, I'm actually more real here than irl. A major part of my personality can only be expressed here. :blobpensive: Also, I am equally bad at maintaining friendships irl and online. :blobokhand:

    Anyway, in conclusion(?), internet friendships ARE as real as real life friendships. But I understand that some people may not acknowledge that.
     
  5. applebeans

    applebeans Well-Known Member

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    I do consider them real friends, until proven wrong.
    I don't make friends easily, and only after years of constant contact and some real life interactions can I be sure the other side really are who they say they are. Then they are just like real friends, only oceans apart.

    People I just chat without knowing who they are irl are just ~normal~ online friends, like the bus lady who chats you up when you meet, but you don't really know each other.

    There's fair point about online friends sometimes being too far to help in reality
    but if you have a family, will your emergency contact be a friend?
    Now with online call/video call, the distance can be shrunk.

    As long as their attention is fully on me when we talk, then the relationship can be sincere.




    Also dog is merdog now
    it was a fairy dog before but now it has a tail and can breathe underwater
     
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  6. Bad Storm

    Bad Storm no thought, head empty

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    I don't think a merdog... looks aesthetically pleasing... can we please skip the fish tail just let it have underwater breathing powers with no price to pay?
     
  7. One Perfect Veteran

    One Perfect Veteran [ICL] [Bureaucat] [Cereal Killer]

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    Wait I just got here and that is what I see? "fishtail," "merdog," oh yeah, give me more please

    Oh yeah. That guy is great. Thank you for that. I needed to see it

    That is totally how you find people to spend time with, but not necessarily long time relationships

    Erm. To me that feels different. But to my mother, its still the old era
     
  8. applebeans

    applebeans Well-Known Member

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    no can do
    little mermaid changed so the dog is here for equal exchange
     
  9. One Perfect Veteran

    One Perfect Veteran [ICL] [Bureaucat] [Cereal Killer]

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    Yeah, and then you start thinking about all this realtionship stuff. And then you start thinking of whether you are true there or false here. And then you start to think of methods to avoid screwing relationships. Then you start to think how to maintain your image. And then you think, wait image? I am thinking of myself as an image? Then does that not mean, that I am fake? Then you get lost in thought. Until you remember wait, but they say its bad to overthink things and that is what I am doing here. But wait, I started thinking about this in order to get some introspection and understand who I really am and wanna be, and that led to overthinking? What am I to do then? And then you think oh my god, I give up. Gotta go and distract myself with something. So you go sleep.

    Totally. As for making things up. That too.

    SELLING SMOKED FISH. WHO WANTS SMOKED FISH. COME AN GET IT. FRESHLY SMOKED FISH. HIGH QUALITY SMOKED FISH

    That is a happy moment

    I agree that it is easier to do online than irl. But, that is not all, maintaining the realtionship offline is actually A LOT easier than online. You don't see how they feel and you are note even sure whether what they say is true with your online friends. What if your casual remark hurt them and they tell ya that they are fine?! What if your excited behavior annoys them and they still say they are fine? That is kinda not cool, but I think it does happen. Irl, it is easier to gauge all that. So the relationship irl tends to last more, barring the unfortunate circumstances

    Good for you. *pats your back*
    Because it is a dog. And if its magical, then we can only think of something weird

    Good for you. *pats your back*
    Because it is a dog. And if its magical, then its somO
    Oh yeah lets go.

    Yeah, I would react like that in regards to things I like many times too. That is SOOOOO relatable, you cannot believe how relatable it is.

    Your last point is very relatable.
    Imagine this: You see a head of a dog and its two paws outside the water. You think the dog is drowning, but then you come close and you see that the dog is not actually drowning. It has a tail. It is a MERDOG. Mindblowing

    Yup, unfair treatment. How can you do that to the little mermaid. Let her be with at least one someone to relate to.
     
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  10. aegis062

    aegis062 Chaotic Demon Emperor

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    bad storm was a terrible movie you should watch perfect storm. XD
     
  11. imK

    imK Artful Dodger

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    The friendship levels themselves? No. I still tier it as I do in real life. Some people are more or less important than others.

    I have thousands of people who count me as a friend and some even call me/treat me as family online, but I don't feel the same way at all. I like them and they're good people, but I don't see them as anything more than pleasant interactions.

    I'm serious with my friendships. Irl or online it takes me a long time to go from acquaintances, to friendly, to someone I make time for now and then, to actual friend. My friends are the family I choose and while I'm open to building real friendships with other people I need to share core values with that person and see my efforts reciprocated. That might sound harsh, but as I said - my friends are the family I choose. I hold them closely in my heart. My time and energy are limited, so I spend the best of it on the people I cherish the most.

    I've got several friends who I initially met online. Some of them I've traveled the world to go and visit and some I've hosted here in my country. Others I've spent untold hours in video/voice chat. A couple we only talk/chat once a year or less and it doesn't change my commitment to them. It's not the time we spend together, it's the quality of it. I've also had friendships that dropped by the wayside (both irl and online) and it's not distressing at all. It's life. Sometimes you're in someone's life at a specific time you needed to be there and then you didn't and you just move on.

    I feel genuinely lucky in my friendships but at the same time, I also make sure to keep reciprocating the love, care, and quality they bring into my life.
     
    Last edited: Oct 10, 2021
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  12. Fulminata

    Fulminata Typo-ist | Officer of Heavenly Inc. |

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    I believe that both are equally "real". Friendship is basically, a form of bond; they're technically intangible and only exist (a.k.a, become "real") after being acknowledged by related parties. For something as abstract as that, why would the location of where this acknowledgement took place matters? :aww::aww:
     
    Last edited: Oct 12, 2021
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  13. gyan7

    gyan7 Well-Known Member

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    Yes. By a huge margin. There's a moat that is difficult to cross when it comes to internet friendships compared to RL ones.

    The simple reason is that people simply don't walk out of your life IRL friendships. No matter if you have an argument or a fight, so long as you hang around together a lot. Its always possible to make up, talk again and figure things out. Friends IRL are also way more understanding and will give you plenty of chances.

    Not the same with internet friends. Lots of people will come and go. Disappear, even out of the blue! I've had lots of friends everywhere but I am more biased towards the friends IRL. Internet friends are okay but I've never found them to be as dependable when I compare the two. This is not to say that you can't find great friendship IRL. People even find relationship on the web and friendship is a lot easier to gain but its just as easy to lose online, I think.

    I also noticed that my friends IRL have a very different persona online. They don't always appear like how their personality or character is IRL.
     
  14. cpuccino

    cpuccino Member

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    Accurate af.
     
  15. Alexcia

    Alexcia Belle of Banter

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    Strictly speaking, if that relationship or friendship is toxic then it is toxic, doesn't matter whether it's irl or online since both hurts you the same way. And just as everyone has said, both have their own good sides and bad sides.
    I considered myself as an introvert, so I would lean more towards establishing my connections the introvert way, the way where I don't need to contribute physically. But, it's still important to make connections in your rl as it's your everyday life and the life that you would need to stay with. Online friends are also people, but they are not necessarily contribute to your life the same way you can't make any changes to theirs as we all live world apart, from each other. That's why, I'd rather choose my rl ones between the two.

    Still, it's not appropriate to hurt people verbally just because they ain't someone in your physical life >> that's too toxic >> so, let just weight both relationships equally in emotional term!
     
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