*for reference most romance novels I read are BB because the way most FL's are written turns me off the novel, but i'm sure this stuff applies to BG and GG as well so i'll try make this as un-bl as possible* *also sorry it turned out to be quite long* Okay so, I was rereading a novel and in a nutshell it's about a guy who abuses his lover, mentally and physically, in the name of love and keeping him by his side. Regrets as his lover is dying from his abuse, then rebirths as his lover five-ish years earlier and basically 'atones for sins'. Pretty dark and twisted I know but the novel has some really good lines that really make you see your own life and actions and their consequences from another perspective. The abuse in this novel is actually next level tho, it's really bad, which is why this next situation ticked me off even more than it usually would and started this thread. ANYWAY, shortly after the mc rebirths (btw the abuse has already started), when the the ml is out, the cooking auntie says "Please don't be mad at him"........"Young master **** truly loves you, he just doesn't know how he should love somebody..." *DEEP BREATH* *START OF RANT/VENT* ?????? HELLO?? the original lover NEVER loved mc and reborn mc doesn't like himself either. Just in general, I HATE it when those side characters weigh in on the relationship too much, saying the mc needs to be more patient/tolerant/less mad bla bla bla. Especially when the relationship is so one sided. For starters there's only so much that outsiders in the relationship should do, after all a relationship is between the two characters and problems should be worked out by those two characters. Also not knowing the correct way to love someone is not a problem because often it comes with time and experience. What really ticks me off is that it's not anybody else's business except the ml's, unless another character themselves tries to help. It shouldn't be imposed onto the mc to put up with the ml's abuse while he 'figures out how to love the mc properly'. ESPECIALLY WHEN THE MC DOESN'T EVEN LIKE HIM LET ONLY LOVE HIM, HE DOESN'T WANT TO BE THERE TO START OFF WITH. I've seen it in fluffier novels as well. Lets say the mc and ml aren't in a relationship yet or the mc hasn't developed love towards the ml but ml is chasing the mc. They return to the mc's house and usually it's a family member (mostly mothers) that seem to take the side of the 'handsome and polite' ml over their own children and then persuade the mc or 'creates opportunities' for the two characters. It seems so small but it seems to really strike a strange nerve in me that I just can't stand them. Ofter times as well, I really liked these side characters but they are just used as tools by the authors as a 'catalyst' to form (force) the start of the relationship between the main characters. The characters don't know the whole story and wrongs done against the mc but seem to think they have the right to either encourage the relationship or speak well on behalf of the ml. It just seems so unrealistic for the mother to take basically a strangers side over their own child. Like, we know the mc and ml are going to get together because the story is about them but as far as the mother is concerned she doesn't know if the mc likes the ml in that way, or already likes someone else, or may not even swing that way sexually or the actually personality of the ml or the way in which he treats the mc. It's not the mother getting into a relationship so it she shouldn't be exerting such a big influence on the relationship when she. Reading this back to check for any spelling mistakes, I realised that I covered a lot more that just the self righteous 'side character' and that it wasn't particularly well structure so congrats if you could grasp all I was trying to say. MY MAIN POINT WAS: does any else feel this way when they see a side character talk on behalf of the (sometimes scum) ml, or does it just go over your head and not notice it? It just frustrates me and gives me a stuffy feeling. I'm not particularly picky when it comes to which novels to read (despite how it may seem after reading this) but this really grates me the wrong way. If you've managed to read all the way down to here, thank you for your patience, I know it was long.
I agree with almost everything you wrote. Except this: You’ve never met my mother. (Well, you can’t. She’s dead. But still.)
It happens. My ma also believes strangers more than their own kid. Ppl get old and become strange. Sounds like its an asian thing. Also that nanny or worker is paid for staying at the master's side. 1. Rich checked 2. Work good pay check 3. Appearance handsome or decent check. If 1 and 2 are checked. Parents might not even care. 4. Shove child to the stranger and get advantage of it checked. Welcome to the real world. I've experienced some stuff that are so ridiculous happened like in a novel drama so....
A lot of Chinese novels use the emotionless iceman as an ideal male character. A guy who is selfish to the extreme of not understanding why anyone would dare have emotions when it gets in the way of his plans/goals. His success is seen as the optimal path for any side character in the story. Not sure why.
Don't worry, you are not the only one who gets frustrated when this happens. It's especially annoying when the MC complains about the ML having a trashy personality, the MCs friends go like But he's so handsome, so it's okay to be a little rude. As if. That's annoying af. What's even more annoying is that it's as if the world revolves around the ice cold ML with everybody saying he is pitiful, so tolerate. Everybody sides with him as if he's the only handsome homo sapien. Even the MCs frnds. It's as if the MC is his punching bag. I'm like HELLO! If you have anger management issues, I would very readily refer you to a therapist. What's even more annoying is that when another handsome character is introduced, they are immediately compared to the ML. It's a rule that nobody can compare to him, with even the most handsome man being 0.00001 less handsome than him. That's like middle school kids comparing their test marks lol. Reading your post made me remember all the frustrations I had about them XD
THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!! Like! Okay. Ah. So, I came across a post recently and it said that abusive partners first create a good impression on those around their target leaving their target with little to no support from those around them. It is so frustrating!!!!!!!!!!!!1 Marry that friend to fcking ted bundy -.-
I habe the same problem with this novel I read… At no point did ML present himself as a worthy, decent or healthy lover, but people keep trying to convince MC to stay with him MC’s bodyguard says “he really does love you, he just doesn’t know how to show it, I hope you don’t resent him” AT MC WHO IS BLEEDING AND TORTURED BY NONE OTHER THAN THe actively scum ML. Even those seemingly on his side would also take on a neutral attitude, or “I’ll beat him if he makes you sad again!” when he can’t get away from the ML’s influence (stockholm syndrome) If this was my friend, I’ll tell them to find anyone, literally anyone else, even a dog, and not go back to that person. How will I know I won’t be too late the next time that jerk’s brain spasm again? Who can guarantee the next time won’t be my friend losing their lives? No amount of beating up ML can bring them back. Yes on the family members taking the ML’s side. It sometimes happen to me too so I always tell people close to me who I don’t want to associate with I cringe when mom/dad says ML seem like a nice kid When he’s a stalker who forces himself on MC. MC is trapped! It feels like author is telling the MC, others can see ML’s quite good, just give in and sell yourself. Novel mom/dad, there is a reason your child is not comfortable with him! Author pressures MC with their parents, while I’m gritting my teeth because they don’t know what happened!!!! They’re defending some fancy dressed scum!
okay another instance that made me go angry! Out here, it was fmc who forced her mother to stay in the abusive marriage because she did not want to lose her reputation but she also took revenge against the scum man who had been abusive to her. Like... double standards much?! Yeet the daughter and the father and live your life mom!