I'm the kind that comes up with good reasons to have done something after the deed At other times, I overthink. In relationships, I play safe, so I wouldn't give it a try.
Good take....XD Totally agree with that.... I've had many instances where my gut feeling saved me, well it is actually wrong to call it that, it's more appropriate to call it your subconscious feeling. It's a genuine trait we are born to culminate through experiences... Every time you make a decision it registers and sets your preference, so for it to warn is a clear sign of something is up. XD
Probably depends on how bored I am or whether I had a “f*ck it all” day that day. As in, usually I’m good at noticing red flags be it in relationships, friendships, money related issues, and sometimes I’d just go hey it’s more fun to just try… even though I’m 95% sure it will be a wrong choice. but sometimes it works out. Take my dog for example, I was on a looooooong waiting listsssss for a labby or German Shepard and such, but I got my little mix in less than 24 hours after I’ve had enough of the waiting lists. It was a spontaneous decision and even I’m not sure whether it was even a decision, I just sort of decided to get a dog bed and a couple of cans of puppy food on my way to the breeder (4 hours drive one way by the way). It was spontaneous. I’m still sure that I’m more of a cat person. But my dog gets me (or rather I get her) out of the house for a good 2 walks of about 1-1.5 hours a day. That’s excellent for my sit and read lifestyle. Despite having to go out in the middle of cold rainy nights as well. in any decision or accident there will be good and bad things. Some you’ll regret, yes. Some could be very painful, yes. But at least you will not have a “what if” question stuck in your head. ok, I’m not saying hey let’s go be promiscuous and do drugs and what not, no, but life is so short. Really short. As in are we wasting half of our awake lives thinking should I/should I not? Doesn’t that waste more time than just go do it, regret it and get over it? for example, as a cat slave, in a way I regret getting a dog (coz I can’t have a cat with her here, both would be unhappy) (unless it’s my neighbor’s cat, than one treats dogs as interesting pets of her own), and getting a dog is a 10-15 year commitment. So if you think negatively - my spontaneous decision led to 15 years of no cats for me (and any cat slave will understand the disaster that is), but if you think positively that’s 15*365* about 10 km a day= Nearly 55000 kilometers in 15 years that I’ll probably/hopefully will walk that I would have otherwise sat on the sofa (or something else). So any good (or bad) choices will have things you like about them. Probably, at least in the moment you thought it would be good for you or fun or something, right? Otherwise why bother? another example. One of my few friends got married and filed for divorce less than three months later… errr honestly (really honestly) I have a diary entry on my phone a couple of days before their wedding where I wrote to myself saying that I was not sure whether a “good” friend would be telling her it’s a bad idea to get married to that guy or not. In the end I kept my opinions to myself (red flags and all are better noticeable as a third person after all). She told me later that at least she doesn’t regret it as it was good (in her opinion, from my short love life experience it didn’t seem to be that good then either) at the time and she doesn’t have the “what if” in her mind about it. so it’s not just me who feels that way, at least. when people are convinced about something it’s hard to dissuade them, though this opinion is also me being lazy and not thinking of better communication ways about my view on her marriage back then, perhaps. Also if you tell a bride hey your marriage is doomed to fail a day before the wedding…. Will you still be friends afterwards? And what if (despite my red flag negativism) it actually had worked out? (I didn’t believe it would, but what if?) although it’s easier to see red flags and think of decisions or solutions as a third person- same thing will probably apply to our selves, I think. But it’s harder to say no to a temptation when you are the “first person perspective “ facing it in that moment. for myself I found a funny way of stopping myself from doing something I’m pretty sure I’ll regret (for real regret, not no cat regret)- I tell my mum. She usually tells me no. So if I’m sure I wanna do something- like getting a dog- I informed my mother after I agreed with the breeder for a meeting. For things that I needed someone to tell me “bad idea” I tell my mum even in passing and she’ll say no and I’ll find a reason to agreeing with her. technically that’s a very lazy way to make decisions (and have an excuse available to explain why I haven’t done something). But I know that if I really wanted to do something (good or bad) I’d do it first and then inform my mum about it later. Otherwise for now she is the only person who will constantly tell me no, on regular basis. (My first boyfriend was also great at telling me no… one of the reasons we broke up… among others). I’m a type of person who loves to do spontaneous things whenever possible. Then I’ll try to rationalize them and find ways to spin them into positive outcomes or memories. Doesn’t always work out, but hey, it was good in the moment.
I like to think I’m a person who would notice the red flags but ummm I probably would not notice them at all before the other person turns out to be a serial killer so♀️
I see, so basically, you give priority to your gut feeling even if you try to rationalize things, seems about more or less the same thing you told me before, you do you XD Some mistakes can't be corrected even if you do more than just hard, some mistakes just ruin you, but yeah, as long as you think you can correct them then do it I guess XD XD So, it is better safe than sorry in your case, yeah, that is reasonable enough XD I see, you go by gut feeling as well XD So, if it something that you want so bad you do it, but if it something you don't, you stop to think about it, yeah, that is another way to go about it I suppose, it funny but it is also an option I guess XD So you notice them kind of late or somewhere after you decide to go out or date them, is that right?
Well if you are implying risk taking then no... My gut feeling is more off not taking risks... Not jumping into them XD
I'm actually very slow on this aspect but also because I never actually had such encounters... Which may, in turn, led me to thinking people are generally nice ah~ But with regards to gut feeling, I may not perceive who's gonna be on my bad side but I can feel who's on the same wavelength as me even without direct contact and am usually right~ (Only said usually coz it's either am right or the other doesn't respond ) Like I'd get very unsettled if I don't get to contact that person ... Prolly red flags I've encountered are on tricky multiple-choice exams and online shopping thingzz ... Very interesting to read on others experiences tho...
That is normally how it is, unless you or your target are "professionals" XD About early red flags in real life? I think you should check reddit or some youtube channels, there are lots here is one if you want, or if you want one just for women, here another one Or for relationships in general, here is another one XD
Maybe~ Welp I don't socialize often anyways~ Wants to but also lazy Well not like I haven't seen others, just that nuf is a more interesting place~
Interesting yes, this here is a place for people who love fiction, just hope that people here know when to separate reality from fiction... hopefully XD
@Zeusomega I’m glad someone understands. Thanks. @Mr Popo if you didn’t want the answer. Stop asking the question. I’m not repeating myself. If you keep asking for clarification
Did I ask you for anything more? I got you, no need for anymore clarification from you, you do you XD
well if there are tons of red flags I kinda wouldn't be interested if it's just for "attractiveness"....
Tons of red flags would make you just "kinda" not interested? I wonder what kind of "attractiveness" you imagined, what kind of person you got in mind? you made me curious XD
Popo, just accept that red flags are a part of life. As per the Hot/Crazy Matrix, there's no such thing as a woman who's not at least a 4 crazy.
It is always both fun and funny watching different people explain the Hot/Crazy Matrix, wouldn't say I totally agree but I got to admit it does summarise the modern dating market nicely, well, to some degree Why am I not surprised with that answer XD? not even a bit of hesitation?