I accidentally reread To Be a Virtuous Wife... and at the end of the story I still feel like Qu Qing Ju (the mc) never loved He Heng (ml) the same way as He Heng loved her. It was like she did as she was expected to within the confines of her freedom. She lived her life freely but like a bird in an observatory, there's only so much space it for it to fly. At the same time, I liked how the author went with that. In this life, who has complete freedom? We all have circumstances to consider, responsibilities to bear on our shoulders. It gave the novel a certain depth and flavor to it. A bittersweet taste incomparable to those picture perfect endings by other novels.
I accepted that that era’s is not the era of free love / wife throwing tantrum while husband coax her / wife have certain degree of freedom I read something familiar : fugui ronghua To be a good wife in that era you kinda have to have respectful - good if I can have, okay if I don’t - feelings for your husband, Spoiler: I found that twist in fugui funny His ideal wife is a man (because he understood a man’s lover for beauties, and love beauties himself) He thought his wife loves him so much, but wife actually never said love in inner thoughts And marriage is more like companionship than the romanticised view of forever lovebirds now Win some lose some ________ Oh wow I’m first here! Gonna take the best seat on the sofa
It’s been a bit long since I read this so I don’t fully remember it. Sorry if the details are wrong. I did find the 3rd prince pitiful for his love but I found his wife more pitiful. She was forced to marry (iirc she had a sweetheart or so mentioned once) and had to accept that her husband didn’t like her at all but looked at her like a substitute (he liked eyebrows or so because it looked like the MC). Even in death, he kept MC’s drawing with him. You may say that that’s the life of an ancient woman but was it fair? No. As for him maturing, he really did. Even so, if you ask me if i would want the MC to choose him, I wouldn’t agree ‘cause he still wasn’t monogamous to the end. He slept with others when his wife/ substitute was pregnant and found another substitute. If he had gotten her, in my opinion, his love wouldn’t be so deep and wouldn’t love her, stay loyal to her as He Heng. On the question of whether MC loved He Heng, I think the author addressed it in the end where she was very concerned for him when he got ill. But, was her love for him as intense as He Heng’s? Probably No. Love cannot be measured. Most of the time, one loves deeper than the other. Here, it was He Heng who fell heads over heels. MC did indeed fall in love with him as time went on, slowly, from all his actions. If she did what she can from her confines, she could just be like the old emperor’s concubines where she only looked at benefits. At least in my opinion, MC’s love may not be that passionate but it was love.
Well, she never seem to be that sort of person tho. Even confined, everyone has their distinct personality. As for when ml got sick, i dunno why but to me it felt more like she worried for her partner and not for her love. Maybe because her love for ml wasn't as intense so I'm like missing that one little puzzle piece and not happy even with the picture already fully recreated in a 1000 pc puzzle.
The reason you feel bad for your partner is because you care for them right? If you didn’t love them and was with them due to constraints, even if you feel concerned you won’t feel distressed to point you forget to do anything else. At least I won’t. If I was forced to be with someone and he fell sick, the most I would is take care of the person as I wouldn’t want them to die. Why would I feel distressed and panicked when I don’t even have feelings for them? And this happened under the premise that she can live the same life without him as her son’s the crown prince. I do agree that the romance wasn’t too wholesome or fluffy as other books. Even though the book was just above average to me, I still feel like MC had feelings for ML.
I wouldn't say she loved him at the end, though I got the implication that she was fond of him enough that she'd feel heartache at least if he died.
I think she liked him, but not to the point of love And she's modern woman who ended in ancient era, married to a prince. Falling in love isn't a wise thing to do, when your husband could have as many as concubines he wanted while the wife could only accept it and even had to smile to the new 'sisters'. It is like if she fell in love then she lost
I have just finished reading this and I have an opinion now! Yes there’s an aspect of this. I feel like she had accepted that no one’s life is truly free, especially in ancient times. Status comes with conditions, while no status means no capital = not truly free. I do think she fell in love with He Heng over time, but she doesn’t love people like HH or the concubines do (flowery and on display). I think it’s a good use for her transmigration because we as the modern ppl understand her point of view, but the ancients admire this enlightened thinking. IMO she felt moved several times but she always tried to downplay it and told herself to not expect anything so she can still live well when HH looks at another. She had lost her composure from worry, not just once, and not just when HH is the emperor. She doesn’t have to be so distraught too, she has sons and emperor only favoured her so there’s no need to act like she can’t live without HH. She also said that word is cheap, only time will tell. And if his love stands the test of time, then she will believe him. Even me as I read on, I thought HH would betray QQJ someday. Author and several characters were hinting he will, and it was not frowned upon in ancient times. If HH had betrayed his promise, I’m guessing QQJ would be hurt. But she’ll then tell herself, “see, I told you not to take it for granted” And just focus on what other good things she has. Since HH honoured his promise and stayed true to her, I believe at the end of their lives, HH truly got his empress’s love. Maybe not as passionate as HH’s to her, but to the point she does care if he gets hurt or if he’s sad. Edit: Also I had this same suspicion while reading, if QQJ had given HH all of her heart, would he have chased after her that fervently and enduringly? Or would he have lost his interest once QQJ completely fell in love like any other woman before did? If he hadn’t felt like even slight misbehavior would cause him to lose QQJ’s heart (han qinghe’s singing scene) would he have stayed true for that long? I get the feeling if QQJ made a slight mistake/loosen her vigilance a bit HH could have slipped and took a tongfang or something. The higher his status, the more right he has to not be monogamous. Since the one who loves more loses, and the price of losing for an ancient woman is disproportionate to the man’s loss, then it’s only right for her not to love so deeply.