Novel ✪ Memory Corruption (R-18) (Book 1 and 2 Finished) (Book 3 on release now)

You’re an angel

 

Chapter 40


Belle spent lunchtime alone during the whole week, except on that Monday, when Carter came to find her to get his jacket back. Betty passed by then and looked like she would approach Belle to talk to her, but then she saw the blond football player and stopped abruptly, changing direction.

Carter pulled a chair beside Belle. He noticed she was upset and asked about it, but she refused to talk, so he ended up monologuing about football for more than half an hour while they ate, then dropped her at her class. They didn’t meet each other again since then.

Even though Mia kept telling her it was ok, that she could convince JP to kick Noah out so the three of them could be together, she didn’t want to. JP tried to convince her to come back to the group, but she explained she needed some time alone to think.

Noah needed them now, more than ever. He needed her too, but at the moment she was angry and upset with him, and knew it would do more harm than good to be around him. She grew even more annoyed when JP told her he wasn’t giving Noah a ride to college, because he had gotten a car on the same day of the fight with Ryan. In other words, he had lied to her, saying he didn’t have enough money for a car yet, when he obviously did. Her annoyance turned to rage when she saw him wearing a sling on the arm Ryan had punched, which meant he was driving with his left arm injured.

Ryan, on the other hand, seemed to be happier than ever. He woke her up every morning with light kisses on her neck and back, then chatted with her about literally anything she wanted to, while they had breakfast in bed or in the kitchen. Only now she realized how much of her time she had been dedicating to Noah, since now she seemed to be able to see Ryan three times more than usual. Their trip to and from college was marked by random demonstrations of affection, from physical to verbal, and she found herself wanting to hug him or kiss him even while he was too occupied driving. It wasn’t just their romantic relationship that was growing stronger, but a feeling of friendship was getting pretty solid too. They pranked each other frequently, helped each other with chores, sensing when the other wasn’t in the mood for doing something, then taking the lead and doing it before the other had to ask. All in all, during the week they had grown even more connected, and Ryan was finally letting her know some things about the case and about the general situation.

-So Trevor simply took back his word on testifying against Daniel? -Belle tried to put a strand of hair away from her face, using her shoulder, but failed. -Won’t he get in trouble for that? Can't Simon do something about it?

She sighed as she realized she would have to wash her hands just to put the damned hair back, which was now tickling her nose.

-He's already screwed. -Ryan came behind her and brushed the strand away, then carefully untied her hair and re-tied it in a ponytail, including the stray strand in it. -I don't think he can get a heavier sentence. And Simon is not like me. He's the good cop.

Belle smiled and turned her head to kiss his mouth.

-Do you need any more help here? I kind of let a lot of analysis and validations accumulate, so Riviera sent me a really rude note through Corey… She'll screw me twice as bad next month if I don't send them all before my vacation.

She gave him an empathetic smile and looked around. Mise en place was ready, there was no need for an assistant anymore. Even though she would miss the said assistant as soon as he left the kitchen.

-No, thank you for your help… -She hesitated but decided to try anyway. -Ryan… About Corey… How are you two? You said you thought he was plotting something…

-Belle… -Ryan looked away, clearly uncomfortable. He washed his hands, then ran them through his hair, wetting it lightly. -I'm not sure yet, that's why I didn't tell you anything. Did he try to contact you?

-No, the last time I talked to him was when I used your computer. I never called him, I don't know if he has my number. -She made sure to give him plenty of information, so he wouldn't doubt her.

-Good. I don't think it's worth the risk, to have you interacting with him. I watched your call with him, he clearly doesn't trust you. -He leaned on the counter and crossed his arms. She tilted her head, a small crease beginning to surge between her eyebrows. He sighed and tried to explain. -It's just that some things led me to believe he might not be on our side…

-Like…? -Belle insisted.

Ryan was so uncomfortable that he looked away and huffed before talking.

-Corey was trying to be a sergeant. He didn't get a good enough score. -He said bluntly and examined her face, expecting some reaction that didn't come, so he went on. -I always told Roy he should try and we all knew that if he got the score, William would recommend him, as much as practically anyone that knew him would. If they called me, I would recommend him and that alone would be more than enough validation.

Belle nodded, feeling her heart squeeze. She was the one responsible for the death of a man this much valued by his comrades.

-He didn't want to. Said he liked his job, and didn’t want the extra responsibility. But then with the birth of his son and… We all knew he would soon decide to try. It would be safer, and with the extra expenses, Lia, his wife, would probably start pressuring him. -He lifted one eyebrow as if to state he didn't have to go on, but Belle didn't get it. -He's dead. And Corey got the score now. He even got a recommendation that no one knows where it came from, I would refuse to give mine and I’m pretty sure William would too. We believe it was his girlfriend or someone related to her, but no one knows her name. We only saw a picture, and a really pixelated one by the way. Lucas couldn’t find shit about her, or he’s pretending he couldn’t, I don’t really know who I can trust anymore…

Belle shook her head, horrified. She couldn't believe Ryan was implying Corey had plotted Roy’s death.

-Ryan… Corey wasn't even there on the night of the attack… -She started to defend his own friend from his accusations.

-Yeah, which only makes things worse, because he should have been. He switched places with Roy that night. Roy told me it was because he would have the opportunity to be with his baby two days in a row, so I agreed, but Lia was going through his phone to get his contacts to invite them to the funeral, and found out Corey was the one who asked to switch it. He told Roy he had an important meeting that he couldn't miss, and asked him to keep it between them. He also asked Roy to erase the conversation, but he didn't.

Belle's eyes opened wide and her hands involuntarily stopped massaging the bird. That was indeed something suspicious.

-And there was more shit too… And the fact that only Lucas, him and Riviera, besides myself, knew about Daniel's arrest before we sent the report to get the order, only makes everything worse.

They stared at each other for a while, then his face softened.

-But don't worry, if he is a traitor, I'm gonna get him and make him pay. If he's not, I'm gonna at least find out what's going on. -He straightened his back and smirked when he saw her small proud smile. -I really have to go...

-I’m sorry that you lost your faith in them… I hope you’ll have reasons to recover it, I hope you can trust them and it all is nothing but a misunderstanding. -She bit her lower lip, feeling his pain. She had lost every single friend she had, all at once. The idea of the same happening to him was unbearable. He sensed her sadness and held her waist from behind, kissing the side of her head. -I hope you’ll still have at least some of them to trust.

-I still have you, that's good enough. -He smiled and bit the top of her ear. -I really have to work, sorry.

-I love you. -Her heart fluttered with his words and the guilt for hiding Sarah from him made her chest squeeze painfully. -Thank you, I’m sorry for holding you up.

-Don't be. I like it when you hold me. -He kissed her temple and fondled her butt before going away.

-I love you! -She sighed as soon as he parted from her. His hands were back and wrapped around her waist, as he pulled her by her chin for another kiss.

-I know. -He panted, smacking a light kiss at the tip of her nose. -Now let me go, or I won't anymore.

She thought about telling him to stay then, but she too needed to cook and take care of her appearance as soon as she finished.

Belle felt very anxious about the dinner, although she couldn't tell why. It had been a while since the last time she saw Angel. Noah too hadn't tried to contact her, even though he looked at her with long eyes in the college's corridors, like an abandoned puppy, as if he was suffering from being away from her.

The music was loud in her ears, but her hands were greasy and she didn't want to wash them to turn it down, just to have to put them back in the chicken again to resume stuffing the skin with the spiced butter. Before she knew it, she was singing, and time flew by.

Belle kept singing all the songs, the lowest she could without harming her voice. She checked the potatoes and proudly smiled. They were perfectly roasted and soft inside with a thin crispy crust. The chicken was almost ready too, just a few more minutes.

Then she went back to the electric oven and checked the cake through the glass. It should be ready in a few minutes.

Her heart was light and she hadn't felt so satisfied and happy for as long as she remembered. She sighed as she reproduced Ryan's easy laugh in the bed that morning, and daydreamed about his caress and horniness. She missed his touch and his gaze on her, and had to keep reminding herself that he was too busy for her now.

The next song made her heart flutter and her cheeks burn red. It was “everytime”, the song she had been listening to in class when he came back into her life, the day he first went to her school to announce the beginning of the investigations.

The lyrics didn't really fit, they weren't even really romantic, still she felt like a teenager in love every time she listened to it. She checked the cake using a toothpick while singing along, then put the cake to rest and cool down .

Taking her attention back to the ganache, she tasted it and let out a moan.If they canceled the dinner this time, she would be very upset.

-Back to you, babe! -As the song hit its climax she involuntarily followed the highest notes and sang aloud, turning the spatula and pretending it was a microphone.

Her eyes were closed as she turned back and leaned on the sink.

-I go back to you! Back to… Oh! -She opened her eyes, then jolted and let the spatula drop to the floor, startled. -Oh my god...

She hid her face with both hands, wishing the ceiling would crumble down over her. Ryan was leaning on the doorway smiling broadly. His chest heaved up and down while he suppressed his laugh at her embarrassed reaction, walking toward her with his feline-like posture.

-Oh no, I'm so, so sorry… I was loud, wasn't I? -She blushed and kept trying to hide her face when he pulled her wrists down, her eyes burning from shame. -I'm sorry. Did I disturb you? Desmond, I'm so sorry…

-Ryan. -He corrected her, taking her nape on one hand, pulling her ponytail back to lift her head, the other hand rubbing her waist vigorously from side to side and pressing her to his chest. -Yeah, it was a bit loud. I might have to charge some of the neighbors for the show…

He chuckled in her ear and kissed her neck, tenderly. Then nibbled at her earlobe.

-But don't apologize for it, it was beautiful. I had to come and see it with my eyes. -He kissed her temple, then her cheek. -And this sight is exclusively mine.

Belle looked down and pouted. He bit her lower lip and kissed her mouth, first gently, then passionately. She slowly melted in his arms and he pulled her up, wrapping her legs around his waist, and pushed her body against the wall.

They kissed and caressed each other for a while, then he sniffed and frowned.

-Is something burning?- He asked looking back, then scoffed. -Beside you, fucking hot...

-Oh no, my chicken! -She put her legs down and tried to push him away.

-Calm down… -Ryan got to the oven in two strides and turned it off, opening the door. -Doesn't seem to be burnt, relax.

She looked over his shoulder and instantly realized that the smell came from the fat that dripped from the side of the pan to the bottom of the oven. She probably moved the chicken to the side accidentally when she was checking the potatoes.

-It looks delicious… Should I turn it back on? -He asked her, swallowing as his mouth watered.

-No, just close the door, by the time they arrive it'll be ready. If it's not, it will be a matter of fifteen minutes at the most. -She smiled at his expression of delight.

He closed the door and turned to her, grabbing her by the waist.

-Now, where were we? -He kissed the tip of her nose.

-You were supposed to be working… And I should be preparing the mayo and salad. -Belle said, feeling frustrated.

He stared at her for a few seconds, then let go of her, kissing her forehead and stroking her hair.

-Right, I'm gonna stop distracting you. -His face was impassive, so she couldn't tell if he was displeased, upset or didn't care for her words.

Ryan had just turned his back to her when she reached out and held him, wrapping her arms around his abdomen and chest and resting her head on his back. She felt his muscles responding to her grip, and his hands covering hers and rubbing them.

-Do you want me to leave or not? -His voice was calm and he took her hand off of his chest to take it to his lips. He kissed it from her wrist to the tips of each one of her fingers. -Don't say something if you feel differently… I don't like it.

-I'll never want you to leave, Ryan. -She kissed his back and lifted herself on the tip of her toes, so he wouldn't have to bend down to keep her hand over his mouth. -But I know you gotta work. And I don't want to embarrass you, if Noah's father is really someone important here.

-There aren't many things you could do to embarrass me… Not having dinner ready when a bunch of assholes I don't really give a fuck about get here, certainly isn't one of them. -He nibbled at her knuckles and turned his head to the side, so she could see his face. -Believe me, I'd rather have this dinner only with you. I'm only taking part in this because I don't want Anthony to get paranoid about me and try to use you to get to me.

He turned to her with a smirk.

-And about my work… It has never been so boring. I never wrote and read so much in my entire life, not even when I got my master’s. A dog could do this shitty job, as far as I'm concerned. I can do it with a hand on my back, I won't hurry.

She pouted as she saw his gloomy face. He smiled at the sight and bit her lower lip again.

-You're worth it, don't worry.

-I love you so much, Ryan… -She hugged him and hid her face on his chest, so she wouldn't have to see it in case he grimaced or mocked her.

-Belle… -He sniffed her hair and kissed the top of her head.

-Yes? -She took a deep breath on his neck too.

-I am totally falling for you, Belle. -He sighed.

She wanted to look into his eyes, but he held her firmly by the back of her head and she couldn't move away from him. His arm pressed her against his chest and she relaxed, knowing that she couldn't fight against his strength.

-I don't want to. -She felt him resting his chin on the top of her head. -I really don't, but I can't help it.

Belle felt the smell of burning hair and a shiver ran down her spine. The hairdryer had been held too long in the same spot. She hated that smell and that was one of the reasons she hated drying her hair with a hairdryer.

She was still trying to process Ryan's words and her head was spinning. I am totally falling for you. What did that even mean? He hadn’t waited for her body to respond. When she finally got a grip on her emotions, he wasn’t there anymore. He has been in the shower ever since. The door to the bathroom was locked and he ignored her when she knocked.

Belle finished drying her hair and tucked herself inside the pencil skirt and buttoned up the shirt. She looked like a teacher, not like a sexy woman. Mia had twisted her nose over and over again, each time she left the fitting room. She hated the long sleeved clothes, but had helped Belle choose some elegant combinations.

Still, Belle knew that it would be no match for Angel’s outfit. The woman looked like she had stolen her outfits from a Hollywood actress's wardrobe. She hoped at least Ryan would like it. Mia had convinced her to buy a new pair of underwear too.

-This bra is a “push-up”. I don’t have to explain, right? Since your boobs are round, they’ll look way more… Appetizing. -Mia had explained, reminding her too much of Chloe. -You’ll see, Noah’s stepmother won’t be the only one getting attention for her boobs, but yours will get the right type of attention.

She didn’t like the attention. Unless it was Ryan’s. The bra made her breasts seem bigger, without really resizing it. She unbuttoned another button. They looked like a baby’s rear, actually. She laughed to herself and rummaged through the toilet bag to get the untouched make-up kit. The only thing she really knew how to use was the lipstick, so it was the only thing she had on her face when she ran downstairs to open the door. She was glad that Mia had forgotten about the high heels she said they would buy, even though it would go a lot better with her new outfit, or else she would be now rolling down the stairs.

-Welcome… -She paused as she saw Noah holding a bottle of wine in one hand and a small bouquet of flowers in the other.

Beside him a dark eyed brunette, almost as tall as Ryan was smiling broadly. She was thin and her smooth black hair went all the way down her butt, way longer than Belle’s. It looked naturally straight. Her smile, with thin heart-shaped lips, evidenced by her perfect make up, was so bright and beautiful that the girl felt extremely ugly and graceless. Her red sparkling dress wasn’t too short, but fit to her body so tight that her small round breasts seemed to want to jump off of it. A cut on one side of her thigh provided enough space so she could walk, but also showed a huge amount of her dark tanned skin. Everything in the woman screamed sex.

Besides, Belle couldn’t be sure, but those looked like real Swarovski Crystals, which meant she had a thirty to fifty grands worth piece of cloth clinging to her body. Belle knew that, because her aunt had tried to force her to acquire one of those for her once and she had said no because she thought it was an extremely frivolous way of spending her parents’ money. She didn’t think the woman was wrong for having that dress in any way, but a dinner in their house certainly wouldn’t justify wearing it.

-Hm… Hi. -She thought she would never find her voice, but she finally managed to, and the boy smiled at her. -Hm… Nice to meet you, I’m Isa… Belinda, but you may call me Belle.

-You’re stunning, Belle, if I’m allowed to say. -Noah looked her up and down and murmured shyly. -My father had to make an emergency call, but he’s coming, he just sent us first so we wouldn’t make you wait. This is Destiny. Destiny, this is Belle, my best friend.

Belle almost frowned at him calling her his best friend after a whole week of pretending they didn’t know each other. But her mind was somewhere else: who the hell was Destiny?

-I know you must be confused, I’ll explain as soon as I can… -He whispered under his breath as she invited them to get in and sit. -Where can I leave those?

-No, it’s ok, let me have this. -She took the wine, but wasn’t sure if the flowers were meant for her or for Destiny. She couldn’t understand where he could have met that girl.

-What the fuck are you doing inside my house? -Ryan’s voice startled her and she almost dropped the bottle of wine.

Belle couldn’t believe he would start a fight with Noah now. It had been plain obvious to her all along that he would come too. After all, the whole point of postponing the dinner had been so they could have him too. The doorbell rang.

She turned to Ryan to ask him to get the door, and only then she noticed his eyes were on Destiny, not Noah. The woman's eyes in turn were on him and she had a look that told him to play cool and pretend he didn’t know her.

This time the bottle weighed too much and her hand simply let go of it. The doorbell rang once more as her eyes flew from Destiny to Ryan, but none of them cut eye contact to notice her face glowing as red as the wine that she was about to wash the living room’s floor with.

 

@GiBro - this chapter cliffhanger is killing me
So many questions about Destiny, she obviously is connected with Ryan, but how? Ok so here goes my overthinking nature and possible theories:
1) Destiny is Anthony’s new trophy, there were enough hints that Anthony was going to get rid of Angel. Belle mentioned that it had been a while since she saw Angel and when she went to the house to ask about Noah, the maid didn’t seem to know who she was talking about when she described Angel. If this assumption is correct and Destiny looked at Ryan with “a look that told him to play cool and pretend he didn’t know her” is she an undercover agent investigating Anthony? But if this is the case then why did Ryan react the way he did, he wasn’t pleased about seeing her.
2) Destiny is one of Ryan’s past love interests and Noah dug her up to get back at Ryan and stir up trouble between Ryan and Belle. If this is the case then that means that Noah discovered Ryan’s true identity - not good
3) At first glance Destiny’s description sounded very much like Samantha’s, almost as tall as Ryan, slim with long hair, but Samantha is dead and Belle saw her picture and any resemblance to Samantha would have probably triggered a panic attack in Belle. So I don’t think she’s somehow related or connected to Samantha, but how does she know Ryan? Does he have a collection of past lovers that are tall, slim brunettes with long hair? Is that his type and if so, he is certainly deviating with Belle.
4) Ryan is living a secret life and Destiny is somehow part of it!
OMG! Not knowing what happens next is definitely going to shorten my life span
Any hints from our dear author?

 

I definitely loved number four xD

 

No way!!! I just threw that last one in as it seemed the most absurd one, but then again, maybe not

I wonder how many more surprises you have in store for us? Poor Belle, is this going to be another deception that she will have to face? Just as things were starting to get better between the two of them

Hmmm, now that I think about it, is Destiny the reason why Ryan kept saying to Belle that they could never be a couple, that he doesn’t love her, that he would never want to love her, that he can’t love her…. Oh dear, my anxiety level is going through the roof again

 

Sleep in peace, next episode explains it to some extent. I was kidding about number 4, though, I wouldn't be in for polygamy xD

 

Anxiously waiting for next chapter…..

 

Chapter 41


-No, I won’t calm down. -Belle hissed as she arranged the stray potatoes where they should be, around the chicken, with more irritation than would be justified. -Tell me where you met that girl!

-Belle, not now, I have a lot on my mind to sort out. I don't have time for your stupid jealousy! -He whispered and took two trays, one in each hand. -And for God sake, don't fucking ask about Angel. I'm as surprised as you, really, he hid this shit, but to be honest I didn't bother to check either. We’ll talk after they leave.

-No, you’ll tell me now! Ryan! -She tried to run after him and block his way with her body, but he had already left the kitchen and didn’t come back.

When she got to the table with two other trays, she saw him heading back to get the chicken. He was clearly avoiding her.

Who the hell was Destiny? Why did she know him and how well? More than jealous, she felt stupid and rejected. The woman was ten times more beautiful than her and a thousand times more sexy. If he hadn't acted so nervous about her presence and if he hadn’t practically dragged Belle away from the woman, making clear that he didn’t want them to talk with each other, maybe she wouldn’t feel so insecure. Maybe.

Anthony had arrived right after Ryan had recovered his composure, and Noah had saved the wine, stopping it’s fall with his arm and leg. The bottle had still hit the floor, but fortunately hadn’t broken.

To her surprise, when she got back to the living room to take the guests to the table, Destiny was sitting on Anthony’s lap whispering something in his ear, while Noah pretended to be very interested in the lamp beside the sofa.

-Hey, Belle… -He smiled shyly. -Is there anything I can help with? I just found out a new talent: I can hold things people drop…

Belle forced a smile at his stupid joke and cleared her throat, shaking her head slightly.

-The table is ready. -She murmured, then turned to lead them, even though only Noah followed her close by.

-I wanted to warn you before, but… We weren't talking, so… -He said very low as he put his hand on a chair to pull it for her, but Ryan was faster and pulled up a chair beside his own. Noah just circled the table and sat on her other side. -My father got married again this week.

Belle took a deep breath and looked to her side, to check Ryan's reaction. He showed none, so she just nodded to Noah and watched as Anthony pulled up a chair for Destiny before sitting right in front of Belle. He looked at her so intently that she felt harassed again.

The dinner went on. Anthony started to try to talk about business with Ryan, inviting him to events and offering him to get into something he called “investments”, but, by Ryan's answers, Belle came to the conclusion they were just invitations for a partnership in crime. After he insisted more emphatically, the dark eyed man seemed to have reached his patience's limit.

-You know, Anthony, there are two things that I appreciate the most in a business relationship: the ability of recognizing and chasing an opportunity when it shows to be available; and the ability of accepting when it's not and won't be available. You lack the second.

Anthony's face stiffened but only for a second. He saw Belle's startled expression and his smile reappeared as fast as it had vanished. He had spent most of the night staring at her, even when he stopped to kiss Destiny's mouth or to rub and squeeze her shoulders, thighs, butt or neck. Noah looked uncomfortable with the public demonstrations of affection between his father and his new stepmother but didn't say a word during the whole dinner.

-Well, Ryan, I must admit that I'm a driven man. When I see an opportunity, I take it, and I never lose it. If it ain't available for me, it shouldn't exist. -He said it and then his eyes flew to Belle's. Noah cleared his throat but no one even glanced at him. -But I firmly believe every opportunity has it’s price… You just have to find the weak spots, or the strong ones, and pull the right strings, in order to catch them.

His eyes traveled through Belle’s upper body, then slowly moved to Ryan’s eyes, then back to hers.

-Then we have more in common than I thought. You see, when I choose my investments I always take my time to analyze and discern opportunities from threats. I never trifle with threats. -Ryan took a sip of his wine. -If a threat has any chance of harming my interests, I destroy it.

Anthony reluctantly took his eyes from Belle and stared intently into Ryan's face.

-You see, sometimes a threat can become an opportunity.

-I'm not a man of possibilities. I'm a man of facts. -Ryan got up. -Let me be a bit more clear, Anthony. I might be in your condo, but you're inside my house. Keep your eyes on your girl, not mine, when you're in my territory. I have my own business to run and I'm not looking for mergers, and certainly won't ever consider working under you. We won't cross paths, our clients aren't and won't ever be the same ones.

Anthony’s smile was all gone as he got up too. He opened his mouth to speak, but his phone rang and he made a face when he checked the caller. Noah's head moved up and he looked at Ryan with a horrified expression.

-If you’ll forgive my rudeness, I have an urgent matter to attend to. -He gave Ryan a very cold look and got up. -I’ll be back in a few minutes, but, please, feel free to enjoy dessert without me.

Ryan followed him with his gaze, like a hound, and pressed Belle’s shoulder down when she gave signs she intended to get up to walk him out. He strode and opened the door for the man. When Ryan walked back to the table, he looked expressionless into Noah’s eyes, then shrugged and, to Belle’s surprise, the boy answered it with an outraged look.

-Mr. Herrera, can I speak with you in private?

-It’s not her, she’s safe already. -Ryan answered nonchalantly. -Her parents were also moved. Get your shit together.

-Still… -Noah looked nervously from Destiny to Belle. -What if it’s someone I know? What if it's Mia, for example?

-I’m not Superman, Noah, I can’t go and save the whole fucking world, leave it to the feds. I have nothing to discuss about it with you! If you wanna try to be a hero again, go on. But you'll be on your own. I'm gonna leave you to die this time. -He frowned, dismissing the boy. Noah looked horrified that they were discussing that in front of Belle and Destiny, but Ryan didn't seem to care. His eyes moved to the brunette. -You, on the other hand, have a lot to explain. Come to my study.

Destiny’s eyes lazily traveled all the way from his crotch to his eyes and she smiled in a provoking way that made Belle want to yank her hair out.

-Now. We don’t have much time. -Ryan huffed and headed to his study, taking the keys out of his pocket. Destiny rolled her eyes and followed him. He turned his head and nodded toward Noah. -And you, go and buy me time. Warn me when he’s coming back.

Noah hesitated but nodded. Belle felt even more stupid when she realized she was gonna be left floundering, as she was the only one still seated by the table.

-Ryan… -She got up and walked toward him. But he turned and gave her a warning look.

-Belle, not now. -His tone was very impatient. -We'll talk later, ok? Wait here and don't snoop around this time, can you do that? Don't be a nuisance!

Belle narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest, but he just opened the door to his study for Destiny and got in after her. Her temper boiled as she heard the lock. She stood frozen for a couple of minutes, but didn't think twice before leaning on the door and putting her ear against it.

-That makes near to zero sense, Diana. -His voice was even more impatient but very low, almost inaudible.

-Well, Desmond, there's nothing I can do, that's the truth. -Her voice had a sensual tone.

-Herrera, dumbass. And that's pure bullshit. Who hired you anyway? -His voice went up and down with anger and she had the impression he was getting near and then far from the door. She presumed he was pacing back and forth. -Was it Daniel? Why would he? What does he have to do with Anthony?

-Well, that asshole doesn't exactly take girl’s power kindly. He didn't tell me why, just told me to do it. -She shrugged. -He actually warned me to get as much information as I can before Anthony gets sick of me because they won't protect me if he decides to get rid of me.

-Have you two met? In person? Fuck, where?

-In Brooklyn, he hired me on-line, though, on the deep web, paid in NFT. He dangles money at your face a million times during the negotiations, the brat. -Her voice was full of contempt. -He said he investigated me for months before choosing me. Whatever his sources are, they are very incompetent. He doesn't have a clue about who I really am.

-Or maybe he has and you're just dumb enough to believe he doesn't. -He scoffed. -Did he drug you? Did you have sex with him?

-No, but he made me strip. -Her voice lowered but there was no shame in it. -Didn't touch me though, just made me stand there, naked, through the whole interview. Maybe he just wanted to be sure I didn't have a wire or a gun in me... Or maybe he's just a freak. He didn't give me much info, just told me he had a supplier he needed to know better. Told me I'd have to come and wait until they got rid of his current wife. I think something happened though, because Anthony got single way earlier than expected.

-So… Anthony is now selling him the girls, then? -Ryan said after some seconds of thought. -What for?

-I'm not even sure if he really is, Ryan… It might be something else… -Her voice was bashful. -Why are you so nervous about this, anyway? It won't be so different from what we did last week… It was thrilling, wasn't it? Nothing like our old days, but exciting all the same.

Belle felt goosebumps form in her arms. She was right, she knew him for a long time already, and she called him Desmond. Apparently they had met a week ago and shared something that he hadn't told her, but the woman found exciting.

-I was surprised to learn you have a wife… -The woman went on, since Ryan kept silent. -I remember you telling me not to get too attached, that you didn't date. That's quite an evolution, too bad I wasn't here to be the lucky one...

-Fuck off, don't touch me. -He hissed and Belle wasn't sure if those were the words she had heard, but jealousy started to torture her harder than ever. -Why does Anthony want you to get near me, anyway?

-Ah no, this is not about you. It's your girl he wants. Where did you get her, by the way? She kind of looks like a child. I'd never guess that was one of your kinks… I know pretty well you like to dominate and get a bit rough, but teen looks? Really?

-Why does he want you to get near her? He doesn't know about Daniel, right? Neither do Aaron, I already checked. I swear to God if you try to touch me again, Diana… -His voice lowered to a hiss again. -No. Screw you! Sit down.

The fact that he didn't even try to defend her, combined with the information that she was trying to touch him, put Belle on edge. She had to make an effort not to breathe too loudly. She crouched and tried to look through the keyhole, but the key was blocking the view from the inside. She put her ear back against the wood.

-...Your loss… -Destiny murmured. -As far as I know he has no clue about Daniel or the whole community. He just provides the girls and gets the money. Aaron was an unfortunate coincidence from what I heard, Daniel deals with him only through the internet, he didn't have any idea they were related.

-And now, thanks to you, he knows… -Ryan sighed. -Noah?

-No, they are still trying to find out who it was, and Aaron apparently won't tell on his half-brother. -Her voice suddenly sounded cautious. -That reminds me… Ryan… There's something I always wanted to tell you. I was gonna tell you last week at the bar, but I was afraid of getting emotional and blowing everything up…

-I don't have time or patience to hear whatever you have to say, Diana, unless it is related to Daniel. -Ryan clicked his tongue. -About Belle, find a way of letting him know she's just a distraction, the same as you for him. She's nobody, just a toy. Make sure he knows that.

-As if he would believe it! You almost stabbed his eyes out just because he was staring at her… -Her laugh was annoyingly sensual. -Poor Ryan is totally in love with that pigmy...

-I'm not, and she really isn't that important, for your information. -Belle knew he was trying to protect her, but hearing him say that hurt a lot. She bit her lower lip and tried to ignore the pain in her chest and throat. -She's just a girl I'm protecting and she lets me fuck her when I want to, in return. Not a big deal, she's nothing.

-If you say so… -The woman's voice was amused. -I won't lie, I'm glad to hear it. It gives me hope, you know?

-Dream on. -His voice was cold and low. -Do you think Daniel will want to meet you after you get the information? Do you think he'll come or will he just send someone?

-Apparently he has an important ally that is being held in prison in New York. He said that as soon as I send them the signal, a cop infiltrated will free him and they'll both come and take me to a palace or something. -She pressed her lips. -Of course I won't sit and wait, I'll be long gone before that. I'm counting on you, you won't leave me high and dry, will you? And I imagine you're feeling like getting the girl and running away, but, please, just wait until we're sure they won't hurt me...

-I couldn't care less if they do, Diana. It's not my job to protect you, try not to be an asshole this time and do what they hired you to do. I'm pretty sure they won't let you die. -His voice sounded tired. -But don't expect me to risk my life for you, that certainly won't happen.

There was a weird silence and a drawer opened and closed.

-I'm not even gonna waste my time asking if he gave you any hint about who that cop might be…. Did he mention red hair by any chance? Yeah, I didn't expect him to be that stupid. -His voice resumed the far and near pattern. -I'm starting to consider letting them take you, so I can track you down… It could work.

-No. -Her voice wasn't seductive anymore, she sounded angry. -I don't know what they do to those girls, but I'm pretty sure I don't want to find out on my own. I know you hate me, but this would be low, even for you.

-Oh no, Diana, I don't hate you, not a bit. -He said calmly and Belle's heart started to pound. -Don’t flatter yourself… I despise you too much to feel anything for you, not even hate.

They both were silent for a few seconds. Belle tried to hear if he was approaching the door, since she didn't want to get caught eavesdropping.

-I really wanted to apologize, Ryan… I need to make things right between us. -Her voice was too sweet and pleading.

-Have you learned how to raise the dead before you decided to abandon your nursing career, Diana? -Ryan's voice failed in the middle of his mockery. -There's absolutely nothing you can do, nothing's gonna mend what you did to me. Let's go, they might be coming back, I'll have someone get a report with you from time to time.

His voice approached the door but stopped. Belle tried to decide if she should get away from the door now or not.

-Aside from unfortunately having you as my neighbor, I don't want to hear from you or see you again. Unless if it's for the case. I'll endure your presence for that reason only. -His voice started to get away from the door again and Belle had to press her face against the wood to be able to hear the rest of it, since his voice lowered and got raspy. -And stay away from her, or I'll ruin your life so bad and so fast that you're gonna wish you had stayed in that hell from where we both shouldn't have come back alive.

-Ryan, please! -Belle was about to run away from the door, but the woman's voice startled her and she had to hear what she had to say. -I'm really sorry for what happened, but I don't believe it was my fault. It wasn't yours either. I just needed you to know, I didn't hold you for more time than I had to. I didn't do it, believe me, I only thought about doing it, but I let you go, because I knew you were healed and they needed you more than I did. I need you to believe me, I didn't do it, it was all a huge misunderstanding. Please, don't blame me, or yourself…

Her voice was loud enough so Belle could hear it without putting her ear to the door, so she started to back away as she realized the woman was approaching her. She looked back and saw the doorknob move slightly, so she ran as silent as she could to the kitchen. She was passing through the doorway when the study's door unlocked and opened abruptly.

Belle pretended to be just getting back to the table, examining Ryan's face. He was wearing a half annoyed, half hurt expression, but his frown melted when he saw her standing there. He smiled kindly and his lips moved to form a silent “I'm very proud of you”. Her cheeks burned and she looked down, feeling guilty.

-What are we gonna have for dessert?

-Hopefully you getting out of my house, and not coming back, forever. -He huffed. -Belle, do you mind making me a cup of coffee, please?

Belle nodded but stopped walking when she saw Destiny, or Diana, approaching him and sitting beside him at the table. He glanced at her and got up, rolling his eyes and moving to stand by the kitchen’s doorway.

-You don't need to be jealous. -He murmured very quietly when he approached her.

-I know. -She kept her head low.

-Your ass looks awesome in that skirt, by the way… -He teased her. -And I like the new bra too… But button up, please. Noah almost fell into your cleavage at some point of the dinner.

Belle giggled involuntarily.

-Ryan… It's impolite to leave your guest alone at the table… -Destiny’s voice rang from the dinner room. -Come here, please?

-You're not my guest, I never invited you. -He shrugged and watched as Belle prepared the coffee. Then he took his phone out of his pocket and grunted. -Fuck, they're coming back… I'll let you know if they want it too.

Belle nodded and leaned on the counter to wait for the water to boil. After some minutes, the doorbell rang.

-I want a coffee too… -Destiny's voice sounded very annoying for Belle's ears.

-Only if I can spit on it. -Ryan scoffed.

-Wouldn't be the first time I tasted your saliva, right?

Belle froze while pouring the boiling water and had to jump back to avoid burning herself. For a moment she felt like going there and turning the kettle over the woman's head. But as soon as she imagined the scene, she felt ashamed about having that thought and decided to let it go. Ryan wasn't corresponding to her advances and she didn't want Anthony to suspect anything.

When she came to the table with two cups, one for Ryan and one for Destiny, Noah rushed to stand beside her. He seemed agitated and his eyes were red.

Anthony smiled and apologized for his absence, then sat down and they ate the cake while he told Ryan about the luxury boats and speedboats he was selling. After some minutes, the old man announced that he and Destiny had a cocktail to attend. There was no sign of their previous conflict and when the five of them headed for the door, the two men shook hands as if they were friends.

-I like to work with men of attitude, Ryan. No hard feelings. -The orange skinned man smiled. He turned to Belle and practically snatched her hand, kissing it with moistened lips. -And you, my Belle, are a goddess of cooking. I would buy you to have you cook only for me everyday, if your husband hadn't made it clear you're not for sale… I might have to steal you.

Belle couldn't help but make a disgusted face when she saw the back of her hand glistening with his saliva as let her go. Noah gave her a sympathetic smile and thanked for the dinner. His eyes were still glistening and red.

-Thank you for coming, have a great night. -Belle murmured, forcing herself to smile. -And nice to meet you, Destiny. I hope you enjoy your time hanging with the other women from the condo.

-Or we could spend some time together, Belle. -Destiny looked her up and down.

-Please, call me Belinda. Unfortunately I don't have time to sit by the pool with the older women, because I'm in college and often have to help Ryan with some things. I'm also not too fond of drinking and spending time under the sun. Sorry, but I don't expect us to meet often.

Ryan's eyebrows went up in response to her unexpectedly passive-aggressive attitude, but he didn't show any signs of intending to reproach her for that. Destiny's smile was as fake as her new identity when she turned to Ryan.

-Well, I guess we'll have to set dinner at our place, then, right, my love? -She said it staring into Ryan's eyes, not Anthony's. Belle wished he wouldn't stare back, but he did, even though his face was impassive.

-Let's go, honey. -Anthony nodded and sucked on her neck slightly as he turned her away from Ryan. -See you soon, Ryan, Belinda.

And they turned to leave. Noah hesitated. His eyes where pleading for Ryan's help, but the man shook his head and made a face that warned him to fuck off. The boy turned his head to make sure the couple was far enough and reapproached the door.

-Mr. Herrera, I'm begging you, imagine if it was Belle… Please. -He whispered. -I can't do this alone. Please!

-If it was Belle, your father wouldn't be walking. -Ryan answered. -Go to sleep, Noah. Just because you know it's happening, it doesn't make it special. It's been happening every week ever since they started this shit. The feds are looking into it and I'm not willing to risk getting their attention because of you. Don't intervene. Or do, I don't care if you get arrested or killed because of that.

Noah's eyes brimmed. After some thought he cursed and left.

-What was that about, Ryan? -Belle murmured after he locked the door with a low moan of relief.

-None of your…

-I know that Anthony is kidnapping girls. -She cut him. -Did he take a girl tonight and you're gonna pretend you don't know? You're gonna let them get her?

-He already did. -He clicked his tongue. -And I didn't lie, there's a huge operation working to get Anthony and rescue those girls, I can't do shit about it, it's not my field.

-Do you know what he's doing with them? Do you know who else might be involved in it?

-Belle, if you want to become a cop, earn it. You won't learn about secret operations through me. -He ruffled his hair and looked away, clearly avoiding her eyes.

Belle nodded. She wasn't satisfied but couldn't bring Daniel to the conversation, because then she would have to admit that she had eavesdropped.

-About Destiny… You know each other.

-We met at a bar last week during that operation to get information about Daniel. She's working for him, but in truth she's working for the government in another operation that has absolutely nothing to do with mine. I mean, now it has, Riviera is working to get us to join forces. -He said in a nonchalant tone. -She's not important, you shouldn't feel jealous, believe me.

-It looked like you knew each other way better than just meeting at a bar last week, Ryan. Are you lying to me? -She crossed her arms and he looked into her eyes for the first time.

-I don't want to tell you. -He said after a while. -I really don't want to talk about it, Belle, I’m really sorry.

She got angry, but only for a moment. The fact that he didn't offer to talk in exchange for getting Sarah's name said a lot.

-But will you, one day? -She pressed her lips, trying to control her jealousy and curiosity.

-I don't know. -He sighed. -I really need a drink right now. A real drink, not that expensive wine. If you want to sleep in your room, I'll understand.

-Can I drink with you?

-Nope, you're not twenty one yet. -He snorted. -Speaking of that, I was surprised when you turned down the wine… Loved your self-control tonight, not getting drunk, not eavesdropping, almost not having a tantrum because of the whore sitting at the table… I gotta give you a prize later.

Belle blushed and gave him the finger.

-Can I at least sit with you while you drink? -She exhaled, feeling defeated.

-You don't like the smell. -He shook his head. -And I don't want to have you trying to make me talk. I don't wanna risk mistreating you.

-I don't have anything against the smell. I just don't like to feel it in you. I think drinking is bad for you, and that you should stop it. -She approached him and hugged his waist. -But I understand that you need to have a break and I won't make questions about any of this, I promise. I just want to be near you so we can help each other get more calm.

-I don't really think that will happen, but sure, why not? Wait at the sofa, then. -He sighed. -I'll be right back.

He came back with a brand new bottle of whiskey and one short glass. They stayed in silence while he drank, and eventually Belle laid her head on his lap and he started to brush her hair with his free hand, caressing her cheeks, nose, lips or chin from time to time, lost in thoughts. He drank slowly, with his eyes distant, but she had the impression that the cups were getting empty faster, as time passed. He was on his sixth glass when she heard him curse. The bottle was completely empty.

-I knew I should have brought two. -He sighed and the smell of alcohol hit her face, making her blush. -Get up, Belle.

-Ryan… -She whispered. -I'm sorry, but don't you think you had enough?

He frowned and opened his mouth, but smirked and pulled her up to his chest, kissing her forehead, then pulling her aside to get up. She turned and hugged his shoulders, moving to straddle him.

-Are you sure you want to turn me on now? -He laughed in her ear while she kissed his neck. -I'm not very drunk, but I'm still drunk.

-What does that mean? -She whispered, kissing his neck and jaw. -Can't you resist me when you're drunk? I just want to stay with you. Let's go upstairs, please?

-Isabelle Arwen Ross… You're trying to sexually assault a man intoxicated by alcohol. -He mocked her. -I could arrest you for that, did you know?

Belle smiled and kissed his mouth. The taste of alcohol almost overcame his own taste, and she felt dizzy. Still, she much preferred playful Ryan than worried Desmond.

-Let's go to your room, so you can handcuff and punish me for that, then? -Her face burned as she murmured those words in his ear and she hid her face in his neck.

-I love it that you can't talk dirty to me, but keep trying… -He laughed, squeezing her butt to pull her against him. -Let's go, my sexy imp.

She started to get up, but he held her by her thighs and got to his feet with almost no effort, pulling her up while she kept her arms firmly wrapped around his neck. As he climbed upstairs with her attached to his chest, she wondered how much he had drank that night for him to think it was risky to climb the stairs. A shiver ran down her spine when she remembered he had driven there in that condition.

-Are you feeling cold? -He frowned when he felt her quivering against his body. He moved one hand to rub her arm and back while he pressed his cheek to her forehead.

-No… I love you, Ryan. -She sighed, resting her head on his neck and taking a deep breath on his perfume.

-I know... -She could hear him smiling when he tightened his grip on her and threw himself on his back over the mattress. She was straddling him and he pulled her so her head laid beside his. -I know, Belle.

And then he kept staring into her eyes for a long time, with a mix of longing and kindness that she couldn't recall seeing there before. His hands moved slowly, caressing her back until one stopped on her upper back and the other on her cheek. He caressed her face and ear, using his thumb and index finger.

-You are the most precious thing I've ever had, Belle. -His smile widened. -And that was fucking embarrassing, to say it out loud, so don't expect to ever hear that again, ok?

He laughed and Belle couldn't help but laugh too.

-I know I shouldn’t think about you as something I own, but… Still, it's true. I can't afford to lose you. I can't let him take you from me, do you understand? -He sighed and the alcohol made her eyes burn, or maybe it was just that his eyes were glistening so she felt like crying. -So, if I have to do some things that you don't like… Please, keep in mind that I'm doing everything, really, anything at all, everything I can, to protect you. It's not just work anymore. It's my life, too, now. You are a huge part of me now, do you get it?

Belle nodded, then started to cry.

-Aw, no… Belle. -He groaned. -No, don't cry. Please...

But she couldn't help and he just hugged her to his chest, then sat up with her still leaning on his chest, took their shoes off and pulled her up so they could fully lie on the bed.

-You know I was planning to take off that skirt and make you scream my name, right? -He mocked after a while, but his voice was slurred with sleepiness. -You ruined the mood, you gorgeous soft hearted...

-I love you so much! -She whined between sobs. -Thank you, Ryan.

-Thank you, Belle. -He whispered, sniffing her hair and kissing the top of her head, then her forehead, then the tip of her nose, then her lips for a bit longer.

When he parted their lips she opened her eyes and saw his closing. Before she knew, he was deep asleep.

 

Worth the wait and as usual our dear author delivered

I think Belle broke Ryan
Talk about character development, Belle is getting bolder and Ryan is melting for her like a popsicle in the Florida heat
But seriously, getting back to Destiny or Diana, apart from being a hired mercenary (I think), I suspect that she and Ryan go way back, probably to his military days. Ryan also alluded to her nursing career so probably she was the nurse in the infirmary where he was held up and couldn’t get to his brother. Was it strictly a nurse-patient relationship? I doubt it and hopefully more will be revealed about this or in Ryan’s POV.
Regarding Anthony we know that he is a sex-trafficker and working with Daniel, not good news for our couple.

 

Good morning, dear readers.

I think tomorrow's chapter won't be from the main book, I think I'm gonna post the first chapter of Ryan's POV instead

I'm stuck in a snusnu scene xD and I'm afraid of catching up with the written part =.

ps: in that said first chapter there's a snusnu scene (I guess you might be longing for one xD it's been a while, right? )

 

Finally getting more of Ryan's pov!!
I like the way he said belle's the most precious thing in his life...
Kinda made my heart flutter

 

Yep, he knows how to be cute, he just doesn't want to xD

There's a part of Ryan's POV that I simply loved to write and can't wait for you to read it (it's the day Belle goes to the campus with Noah, without telling him).

 

Anything that our dear author writes is a blessing!

I am dying to read Ryan’s POV on this and all the other times he mistreated Belle, especially after he told Belle that technically he had used her as a whore, that was so brutal for Belle (and us readers) and Belle yelled at him “screw you asshole” when they got home. What was going on in his mind when she locked herself in her room and avoided him for the entire weekend? I would also like his POV from Chapter 29 when Belle told him that sexual attraction wasn’t enough and he told her that he “can’t love her”.

 

Dear readers,

This post replaces tomorrow's post of Chapter 42. It's the Chapter 1 for Ryan's POV, so, if you decide to read it, I'd recommend to read the Prologue. I like this chapter, but I must warn that it might not be to everybody's liking (this whole book is not for everyone, it has too many triggers and strong opinions about polemic things).

Spoiler: Ryan's POV - Chapter 1 > Fatally flawed (Sexed up - Robbin Williams)

Ryan put on his pants and checked his phone again.

-Never saw you so nervous… -Richard laughed, sitting on the bed and checking on his brother from head to toes. He sniffed and frowned. -Are you wearing my cologne?

-Sorry. -He grimaced. -I need to buy a perfume.

-Don't. You'll have to throw it away… Are you sure you want to go on with this? -He creased his eyebrows with a worried expression. -You're gonna get hurt, Ryan, long distance relationships never work.

-We are going slow, we'll make it through. -He ruffled his hair and checked his breath, even though he had just brushed his teeth. -I told you, I really love her. I'm willing to go through the hell of missing her if she's willing to do the same. Will you break up with Magda if the army sends you on a mission?

-Me and Magda can't compare to you and Louise, Ryan, be realistic. -Richard laughed. -You can't compare it, really. We are gonna get married next month. We are committed. I knew the career she wanted to pursue and she knew mine… We have plans for our future. You and Louise are gonna grow from this teenager love in no time, you won't even remember her name when you're my age.

-Shut up. You don't know what you're talking about! -Ryan frowned. -See you tonight?

-Sure, I'm gonna buy some things for Magda, visit Notre Dame and go to a restaurant there. -He looked up. -Do you need something?

-No. I'm really sorry that she couldn't come… College sucks.

-No it doesn't. Don't think like that, you need to study if you want to become a worthy man. You want to make mom and dad proud, right?

-I already make them proud. A lot. And I like to study, I just think it's stupid that they make you spend a certain amount of time with it. -Ryan snorted. He didn't want to waste time arguing with Richard about attending classes in school again. -I already learned everything that Louise has learned and she even asks for my help sometimes, about math, chemistry or physics. They make you waste time. Why take four years teaching something you can learn in one year?

-You're big brained. Don't measure other people's skills by yours. -Richard reproached him. -Besides, there's something about normal school that I or mom or dad can't teach you: social skills. You need to work on improving it, really.

-I have plenty of social skills. People love me the way I am. -He shrugged and smirked. -Sometimes they treat me like a king.

-Yeah, but although your name implies it, you're not a king. Shouldn't behave as if you were one. One day you're gonna take one right in your mouth for being so cocky.

-They'd have to land it on me. They won't. I'm pretty sure I can get away with it, either fighting back or being fast enough to avoid it. -Ryan jabbed and dodged playfully, expecting to lighten the mood. But the older brother just stood with his face impassive, earning a light punch in his right biceps before the boy turned his back on him.

-Ryan… I'm trying to teach you something. -Richard sighed, feeling frustrated. -It's cool and cute while you're young, to be rebellious and boastful. In adults’ world it's certain to cause you real trouble. You're gonna regret it one way or another if you don't learn to lower your head a bit now.

Ryan opened his mouth to protest, but narrowed his eyes and just nodded. He could recognize a trap when he saw one.

-I'm gonna get going. -Ryan huffed. -See you.

-See you. -He smiled, proud of his little brother. -I love you.

-I love you too. Bye!

Ryan thought about their talk on his way to Louise’s apartment. He couldn't get how learning to belittle himself could help him get higher in society. It didn't make sense. He always thought about Louise as a waste of potential. She was fairly beautiful and astute. Not intelligent, unfortunately, as she didn't bother about actually learning things, but she was resourceful and fast in thinking.

If she didn't spend so much of her time trying to get along with dumb people, she would thrive really fast. But no, she was always showing up at parties, and spending her weekends on social meetings and writing on her blog with her broken English that she wasn't at all interested in improving. Even he himself had managed to improve his French, absorbing every bit of information he could get from her, although he didn't intend to actually learn the language. His French was better than her English, and he hadn't ever had classes.

Ryan got out of the elevator with a gloomy mood. He didn't like to demean her, even in thought. She was perfect with all her imperfections. He could cope with her limitations, and maybe even help her change in the future. They were still too young to worry about those small incompatibilities.

Louise opened the door before he could lift his hand to knock. He paused with his hand midway toward the door. She smiled broadly. Holy crap, I missed you so much!

She jumped into his arms when she saw his passionate smile. He lost his balance as she threw her body against his, but quickly recovered it and put his hands under her buttocks to sustain her weight as she enlaced his waist with her legs. They engaged in a tongue’s fencing, pressing their bodies against each other's. Since his hands were there already, he took the opportunity to fondle a bit. She moaned coquettishly and he smiled in her mouth, biting the tip of her tongue playfully.

-Hi… -He sighed as she parted their mouths to take a breath.

-Bonjour… -She nibbled on his neck. -I missed you so much…

-You're gonna miss me more when I leave, I assure you. -He nibbled her ear in response. -Gonna drive you crazy today.

She looked at him with a naughty smile.

-We should come in, then. -She giggled, clearly excited with his provocative tone.

They laid in bed groping each other, kissing, sucking, biting and licking. As the hours passed and his boldest move had been a breathtaking dry humping, she grew impatient.

-Aren't you gonna take my clothes off, Ryan? -She decided to ask.

-What? -He wasn't sure if he had heard it right. Seeing her confused expression he quickly corrected it. -I mean, right now?

-I think you already warmed me up enough. I like foreplay, but I wanna see what you really got for me… -She ran her hand through his crotch over his jeans. He blushed. -You brought some capote, right?

-Sorry? -He was confused. -Capote?

She looked around, trying to remember the word in English. He stared at her, feeling very confused and uneasy.

-Condoms, Ryan! You brought it, right? -She bit his earlobe hard, then sucked on it as he flinched.

-Ah, yeah, sure… -He blinked, very ashamed and suddenly nervous. Damn… Why so suddenly? What the fuck am I gonna do? -Yes, I got it, hold on.

He got out of the bed and grabbed his wallet. It would be extremely weird if he ran out the door and came back with condoms. He couldn't just go out and buy them, that would just cut the mood.

-Ah, no… -He feigned surprise and disappointment. -It's over, I'm sorry, I've used up all of them.

With my imaginary girlfriend… one year ago, of course. Before you. Stupid! I should have said I forgot it at the hotel room, stupid! Fuck!

-Oh no, Ryan… Are you one of those guys then? -She looked disgusted and disappointed. Shit, no, I'm so sorry… How can I take it back without sounding stupid? Hey, I'm a virgin, actually, I never cheated on you, I was just embarrassed. No… Think, imbecile, say something!-Are you one of those who go like “I forgot it” or “I used the last one yesterday”, hoping that the girl will do it anyway? Tell me you don't have a disease.

-I don't! I swear, I didn't mean to not have a condom, I really wanted to have one now, I swear. -Ryan tried to mend it. He actually felt relieved that she hadn't been smart enough to associate his slip of a tongue to him cheating her. It would be terrible to start a huge fight only because he didn't want to admit he was a virgin. -Louise, I swear, I'm not trying to trick you, I'd never do it.

-How many times have you done it without a condom, Ryan? -She looked at him with her clever eyes.

-Never. -And never with one too, but I hope you can't tell. He sighed.

She squinted her eyes, but seemed to believe him and relaxed her shoulders, leaning over the bed provocatively, like a cat stretching it's back.

-Lucky you that I'm a very well prepared woman… -She smiled from ear to ear. -So you're not escaping me today…

She opened a drawer beside her bed and took out a pack of condoms. He glanced at it and blushed. He counted four condoms

-Lucky me… -He sighed. She picked one and handed it to him, lying down in the bed.

-Now warm me up again and take off my clothes. I want you to fulfill your promise of driving me crazy. -She smirked.

Ryan looked down at the condom. It wasn't anywhere near being expired. Actually it was brand new. Did you buy it when you heard I was coming? He couldn't help but feel surprised about how smart she was. How could you know? How could you be expecting this to happen when even I didn't?

Then it dawned on him: it was probably her birthday gift to him. He wanted to assure her that she didn’t have to do it just to please him, that he was ok with waiting until they could have a more stable relationship, when she moved to the United States... But he wasn’t so noble. If she was willing to do it now, he certainly wouldn’t refuse it.

They resumed their groping and caressing, but Ryan's hands trembled involuntarily when he made some movements. He thought about porn videos and tried to figure out the right way to start it. He put the still wrapped condom, that was gluing to his sweaty palm aside, in the bedside table and ran his hand through her belly and navel until he managed to slide it inside her pants.

She gasped but her face didn't give any signs of discomfort, so he went on. Her pants were too tight, so all he could feel with his fingers was body hair. He kissed her neck and fidgeted with the button and zipper to open her jeans. She let out an exhaling moan and grabbed his hair in a fist, pulling it. It hurt, but he didn't have the courage to ask her to stop, so he just moved his free hand, that had been kneading her breast, to the back of her head and pulled her hair hard in a fist too. To his surprise she let out a loud moan that made him shiver with pleasure. He urgently deepened his hand into her panties and pushed his middle finger inside without any preambles.

-Ah! Ryan, oui! -She moaned and he smiled, seeing her thin lips part and relax. Her half open mouth gave him naughty ideas. He bit her lower lip and pulled his finger out, slowly, looking into her eyes.

-Do you like it? -He purred in her ear, licking behind it, slowly. As he felt her trembling under him he pulled it in again and she moaned. -Tell me, do you want more?

-Oui… -She moaned.

-In English, Louise, tell me. -He lifted one eyebrow, taking it out very slowly.

-Fuck me, Ryan! -She grunted as he put it in again. He wasn't expecting it, and the surprise was written all over his face. She laughed and he felt her insides pressing against his finger, tightly. -Fuck me hard!

He took his finger out immediately and lifted his body from her to take his shirt off. Then he pulled her from the bed to his lap roughly, with her legs spread, making her straddle him, and pulled her shirt over her head. She fell back on the bed as the shirt got stuck in her arms and he moved to lay over her, holding it firmly in a way that her wrists were tightly tied.

-Oh, bondage? -She frowned but chuckled. -Are you gonna punish me, Ryan?

-No, Louise… -He smiled, feeling his heartbeat pounding all over his body. -I'm gonna reward you for being so fucking hot. For me to punish you, you'd have to be a bad girl.

He kissed her mouth avidly, then bent his back, still holding her arms above her head with one hand and made his way with kisses and bites to her chest. Then he put his free hand behind her back and unfastened her bra deftly. This was something he had become a pro with experience earned beforehand. Louise didn't seem impressed, though. He kissed under her breasts as he lifted the bra, then licked her pointy nipple. She let out a huffy sound.

-What's wrong? -He asked her, confused.

-Don't tease me, I'm already on my limit. -She complained. -We can play later, I want you to make me come!

He was uneasy. She was always sending him nudes or taking her clothes off on their video calls, so he knew she was open minded when it came to her sexuality, but she never gave signs of being so… Uninhibited. He was starting to get intimidated by her bold attitude.

-Sorry. -He said, simply, trying to sound confident. -I was just trying to please you.

-You already pleased me lightly enough. Please me harder, now. -She grabbed his stone hard volume and licked her lips in a circling movement. -I don't want a boy, I want a man!

Right… If you want it like that… He decided all romance was over for now. He let go of her arms and took off her pants and panties all at once, then lifted her arms to dispose of the bra. He admired her naked body for a moment. She had a lean figure, with small boobs and a thin waist. He grabbed her waist and sucked her nipple, hard. She moaned and pulled his hair, but he took her hand away from his head and gripped her wrist firmly, holding it beside her head.

When he lifted his head he saw the mark of his suction he left there and she pouted.

-It's hurting. -She grimaced.

-It's your punishment for being a bad girl. -He lifted one eyebrow and bit the other nipple lightly. She giggled and moaned in response.

He got on his knees and started to take his pants down, but she sat up, pulled his boxers down at once and grabbed his penis, putting it into her mouth without any warning. He was taken aback and looked down, surprised and ecstatic. The new sensation gave him shivers and he gasped for air, observing her closed eyes and her stretched lips swallowing him. She moved her head in decided movements, playing with her tongue and sucking. He was startled when he felt her hot drew drip on his hand that was frozen in the middle of the movement to take his pants down. His pants and briefs were getting soaked by her dripping saliva, but he didn't really mind it as he was experiencing the best sensation he ever felt in his whole life. He had to concentrate not to come immediately, clutching his lower abdomen tightly as if holding back the urge to pee.

-Gosh, Louise. -He moaned. -Damn…

She smiled, provocatively looking into his eyes, not taking her mouth out, and deepening her movements. She grabbed his hand and put it on her nape. His hand closed in a fist on her shoulder’s length hair and he involuntarily pulled her head against him. She let out a sound as if she wanted to throw up and tears welled up her eyes.

-Oh no, sorry, I'm sorry! Did I hurt you? -He immediately let go of her, but she put his hand back on her nape and nibbled on his member, licking it. The sight made him start panting. -Fuck! Louise, you're so damn sexy! I love you so much…

She smiled, satisfied with his adulation.

-I want you to cum in my mouth, Ryan. -She said and he felt shivers all over his body.

He grabbed her head with both hands and pulled her against him, letting her lead the movements. After a while he started to move his hips too, taken over by the lust and horniness of the moment. Ryan let out a loud grunt and a long moan, and felt his body releasing it. He panted and closed his eyes, throwing his head back. He was facing the ceiling when he felt her pulling his chin to force him to look at her. He was still experiencing the spasms of his orgasm and didn't feel like being distracted but looked down anyway. She just wanted to show him her filled mouth as she swallowed it with her mouth open. He was divided between disgust and arousing. Arousing won the battle and he pushed her toward the bed roughly. She fell on her back with a startled shriek and he took off his pants and underwear quickly, fumbling a bit to get his socks off. He cleaned his penis on her sheets, ignoring her low complaint and grabbed the condom with trembling hands. He opened the wrapping with an unexpected clumsiness, his hands trembling slightly, almost letting the condom fall to the bed.

-Do you want me to put it on for you? -She offered with a sigh.

-I know how to do it. -He replied bluntly. His unjustified offended tone made him blush a bit.

-I'm not saying you don't. -She explained. -I just want to feel it filling it. I think I’ve never seen or felt one this big… Not in a boy your age at least…

She said it as a compliment but to him it was like a bucket of ice had been turned over his head. What the fuck are you talking about now? He frowned at her, suddenly feeling very angry.

Unaware of his outraged mood, she crawled toward him on all fours and reached out, putting the condom on with what she intended to be a sexy face, but for Ryan it looked like a mocking smile. He took a deep breath.

Ryan didn't know exactly what he was feeling at that moment. He loved her. More than anything or anyone. But her words were spinning in his head and he started to connect the dots. He looked down at his stiffness and knew he could go on as if nothing had happened. He still wanted it, even though he felt like walking away and never coming back.

He pushed her to the bed again, looking into her eyes intently. There was a permanent crease in his brow, but she took it as a simple sign of his desire toward her, not a sign of his growing inner self-destruction. Did you cheat on me? He wanted to ask her, but didn't want to sound dumb. Of course she did…

He grabbed her thighs and pulled her against him, putting one finger between them to check if she was still wet. She was soaked. He didn't want to hurt her, but right now he didn't feel like pleasing her either.

-Oui, Ryan. -She moaned. He wondered how many times she had said it, in that same tone, just changing the name. He didn't feel special anymore, not a bit.

-You're mine. -He said in a low tone. It was a stupid statement, but he wanted to make it clear. To be honest he wasn't even sure anymore if he wanted her. The anger and disgust were getting stronger by the second.

-I'm all yours. -She moaned, with her eyes half closed. She ran her fingers through his abdomen and his back stiffened. -Do what you want with me.

He took his finger out and lifted himself on his knees putting it inside her at once. She cried out loud, but he put a hand over her mouth to shut her up. She was surprised by his attitude, but moaned in response to his movements. He concentrated in his own pleasure, ignoring her face completely. He just wanted to feel everything he could, physically, trying to shut down every bad thought that was flooding his head.

-Kiss me, Ryan… Kiss me... -She moaned as soon as he took his hand off her mouth to use it to sustain his weight. She tried to pull him by his nape. He shoved her hand away, and she insisted, trying to pull him by his shoulder. He grabbed her wrists and pinned them beside her head, moving faster and harder. -Oh, Ryan!

Her mouth opened and she closed her eyes, lifting her face. He grunted and took it off, pulling her by her shoulder to force her to lie on her stomach. As he put his weight over her body she moaned loudly and lifted her butt up to help him. She had done it before, it was obvious. He found himself feeling annoyed again with the idea that someone else had already done this same thing to her before. He closed his eyes and harshly penetrated her at once again, wrapping one arm around her shoulder and grabbing her hip with his other hand.

-Ah, oh, Ryan! Ah! You're the best! -She coquettishly screamed, closing both her fists on the sheets. At some point she bit the pillow and let out a long and exciting moan. He couldn't hold it any longer and came too, letting his weight drop over her body as he gave a last violent jerk toward her buttocks. He cursed and moaned a lot. She moaned too, delighted by the sight of him losing it.

He buried his face on her hair and let out a trembling sigh. She tried to turn toward him to kiss him, but he pressed her head against the pillow, forcing her to stay immobile. He took it out and parted from her, heading toward the bathroom without saying a word.

He closed the door and looked at himself in the mirror. He had scratches all over his neck, chest and arms but he didn't remember how they got there. His face was red and soaked in sweat. But the worst part was his eyes, which were red and brimming. He looked down, taking deep breaths to calm himself. Carefully, he took the condom off, unsure of how to deal with it. He looked around, then decided to turn its contents inside the toilet and wrap the rubber with toilet paper, almost throwing it inside the toilet, but spotting the bin beside it in time, where he disposed of it.

He flushed and looked down, fighting the urge to throw up. What the fuck had just happened? How could he be so stupid? He tried to remember if they had talked about it at least once in those fourteen months of relationship. He didn't think they had. What he knew was that when they first met, she had told him that she had never had sex, so, it was certain that she had either lied or cheated on him, many times and didn't feel any remorse or shame about it.

-Ryan? Are you ok, mon amour? -She called him by the door. -Are you getting ready for the next one?

Next one? He mused. He looked down. He was actually very ready for another ride. But it felt so wrong that he rubbed his eyes after washing his hands and had to hold himself not to cry out in frustration. He could only do one of three things: He could put his clothes on and walk away without saying a word; he could pretend there was nothing wrong and just use her as much as he willed until he got too tired to go on; or they could sit and sort it out as a mature couple. He opened the door and stared at her blankly.

-Ah, I see you're ready… -She smiled, eyeing him and lifting herself on her toes to kiss his mouth. He avoided her and looked away. -What's wrong, Ryan?

-We need to talk. -He said, without looking at her.

-We can talk later, now I want you inside me again… -She bit his jaw, then went down to his chest nibbling and kissing him.

-The other option is us having this talk later, if I ever feel like doing it, but then I'll just go back to my hotel room right now. -He replied in the same cold tone, trying hard to ignore her hot mouth teasing him, as she sucked and nibbled his skin from neck to navel. She stopped and straightened her back, looking at him with a confused expression. -We really need to talk.

She turned her back to him and climbed on the bed, designedly getting on all fours to do that, moving her rear, to tease him. He gulped and approached her, sitting by her side.

-You said I'm the best. -He murmured.

-It was a compliment… -She eyed him, trying to understand what would be the problem in doing so.

-It also means you have someone to compare me with. You said you were a virgin before we started dating, was that true? -He kept his face impassive, trying to avoid being rude. She nodded calmly and he suppressed the urge to slap her in the face. He was giving his best to keep being patient and deal with this the most reasonable way possible. -So I want to know when and with whom. And how many. And why. And…

He noticed his tone was getting more aggressive as the disgust and angriness started to build up involuntarily. He took a deep breath.

-And why didn't you tell me you wanted to do it, before it happened. -He sighed.

-Oh, Ryan, don't be silly. It's not like you didn't have girls back in America to distract yourself too… I'm not a saint, and you aren't either.

No, I didn't have anyone, you bitch! Because I was with you! He looked down and bit his upper lip, clutching his fists in anger.

-I didn't. -He said calmly.

-I can't believe it… If you really didn't, you're a fool. You should have. -She creased her eyebrows. -But it's so sweet that you'd think about saving yourself for me all that long, that I want to believe it. You're so cute, Ryan! I love you...

He looked up at her and saw her eyes dancing with amusement.

-How many? -He said, with a blank face.

-I don't keep a count. Every now and then I feel lonely so I go to a club and it just happens. -She shrugged. -You're the only one that really matters, they were just for fun.

-Just for fun… Was it more or less than ten, Louise. And did you fuck them all? -His patience was over. -Shit… Did you kiss their mouths? No, fuck, did you blow them?

-Calme toi, Ryan… -She looked uneasy with his tone. -It's not like I've been cheating on you or something…

-How come? -He almost screamed, his face red. -What the fuck, Louise? How could it not be cheating? We were together and you brought men to your bed and fucked them, how isn't it cheating?

-We are not married. -She stated, simply.

-We were dating, you whore! -He said it before he could stop himself. -Fuck, I don't even know how I didn't notice it, how dumb I am. The late horny calls, you probably had just… Shit… The camping, you said you were tired and that your back and legs were hurting a lot… Goddamnit, Louise!

She just stared at him, seeming to think his attitude was unnatural.

-Ryan, we can't stop living because we are together, you were in another country, try to be reasonable… -She pouted, grabbing the sheet to wrap herself with it.

-I'm being reasonable, Louise. What's your excuse for not telling me? That's the only thing I wanna know before I go, why did you do that? -He shook his head, totally disappointed. -I got it, I wasn't enough for you, because I was too far, for too long. We both agreed to make it right, to make it work. You said you loved me, and it wasn't on an impulse, you said it many times. Why didn't you tell me that you wouldn't be able to make it?

-Because I thought it was obvious! How could you take it that long? -She looked at him in disbelief.

-Thinking about you every time I even thought about looking at someone else, that's how. -He said, bluntly. She looked at him as if he was a puppy and he snorted, getting up. -You know what? Fuck you.

He got up and started to put his clothes on.

-Ryan, please, we can make this work… I don't wanna lose you, I love you with all my heart. -She whined, holding him from behind. -Please, don't break up with me…

-Louise… -He sighed as he tried to find one of his socks that was missing. He spotted it under her thigh and pushed her aside to retrieve it. -Call one of your one hundred lovers and fill that void. I'm out.

Ryan paused just to be sure that he wasn't forgetting anything. His eyes were caught by a picture of him on a heart-shaped frame beside her bed. He shook his head angrily as he reached out, took the photograph out of it and tore it into pieces putting the frame back in place without looking at her. He got out of the apartment, slamming the door behind him before she could get dressed.

The elevator was taking an eternity to arrive, so he just took the stairs, fuming and cursing all the way down. When he was getting out of the building he noticed the elevator had just left her floor and huffed, knowing that she would try to stop him if he waited for a cab in front of the building.

He threw the pieces of the picture inside the first trash can he saw and decided to go back to the hotel by foot, fighting back the tears for as long as he could, but eventually was forced to release them.

Ryan was used to having girls glancing at him frequently. He knew he had a nice face and his regular exercising and fighting training earned him a fairly fit body. Besides, he was tall for his age and had a dominant air that intimidated people.

Usually he would smirk at the unsolicited attention, finding it funny and flattering, but today he knew the attention was because of his tears, not because of their interest in him.

Ryan wanted to break something or someone. He wanted to scream and curse at the top of his lungs. He finally gave up, when a girl looked at him and lifted her eyebrows as if she wanted to hug him to comfort him. He looked around and signaled for a cab.

He proudly got in and instructed the driver about the hotel address, keeping a blank face as he wiped his face with the hem of his shirt. But sitting and waiting only made everything ten times worse. He started to remember every moment he spent with her, physically, one year before and virtually during the last fourteen months. He really believed she was the one, really invested all his heart in it. He felt used and stupid. He felt wronged.

The driver glanced at him when he heard the sniff, but Ryan looked out the window and bit the side of his thumb, trying not to sob, letting the tears stream silently toward his clenched jaw.

Let me know what you think about teenager Ryan

 

Spoiler

Wow, I just feel that teenager Ryan needs a big hug.
Emotionally-wrenching and very well-written. This must have been so traumatizing for him, he invested his heart, but she didn’t. It also helps understand better his behaviour towards Belle and other women in general. Shall we go down that rabbit hole? What the heck, why not! So here is how I see it, deep down, Ryan is a romantic. At the young age of 15 he was committed to Louise, was not swayed by temptation and was actually saving himself for her thinking that she was doing the same. Then came the harsh realization that it was just one-sided. (BTW how old is Louise, if he was 15 and she was living in her own apartment, it makes me think that she was older?) This had a huge impact on him and his future relationships. I think he kept himself guarded to a certain extent and based on his exchange with Destiny (Diana) his relationships or rather interactions were strictly physical, never allowing those women get close to him emotionally. Then there was Samantha, which started as a physical distraction but then rekindled his hope that he could actually allow someone to get close to him again, only to once again be deceived with her lies, manipulation and cheating. I remember Ryan saying that he liked the notion that she needed him, that she couldn’t live without him (romanticism at work here), and that he fell for the idea of what she represented but not necessarily her. Of course we know that the relationship was not an all-encompassing love, but a really toxic relationship that ended up destroying both figuratively and literally. He admitted that at the end he didn’t love her and they were just using each other. So deep down inside, he is a hopeless romantic looking for someone who can hold his heart (without crushing it). After Samantha he is determined not to let anyone else hurt him and up go the impenetrable walls around his heart. He settles into a comfortably numb routine. Then along comes Belle and literally turns his life upside down due to the circumstances that we are all aware of. The problem is that Belle is the real deal and that realization scares the sh*t out of him. This is why he mistreats her so often and takes us all on that emotional rollercoaster ride. Every time she seems to break through that wall just a little, he backs away or attacks (with words) like an injured animal. In the last couple of chapters we’ve seen Ryan open up a little and his true self ( remember, the hopeless romantic) is starting to break through.
Anyways I would love to hear other reader’s opinions and definitely would love to hear what our dear author @GiBro has to say.
Can’t wait for the next posts!

 

@TZia, please, can you put this comment in a spoiler box? Just in case others decide not to read Ryan's POV now

Spoiler: My considerations

Aside for the part you say it's romantic that he thought it felt good that Samantha depended on him (I don't think that's romantic, that's toxic af ), I agree with you.

I'd like to know which parts he mistreated her often, I can remember some, obviously the whore one was the worst, maybe losing for that one time he threatened to rape her (he wouldn't really do it, but he literally restrained her to the point of hurting her).
Aside those, they fought a few times but I think she always had it coming because she too was doing something wrong... But remind me of those other times, please?

I'm also looking forward to read other readers opinions

 

I’m so sorry, I’m new at this and didn't think about using a spoiler box. Let me try putting the spoiler box and then I’ll clarify

 

Spoiler

Well that time he physically restrained her and went on about how many reports of rape were filed against the police etc… I think he was just trying to make a point to Belle not to provoke him. Aside from that I noticed that he was always cold and mean to her every time they got close. For example at the hotel room after they kissed and Belle tried to take it further, after they had sex the first time, after they had sex in the bathtub, then there was the whole “whore” situation. It seems that he would let his guard down a little with her and then they were back to square one. And not to mention all the times he blatantly told her that he didn’t give a f*ck that she loved him and other choice words. Also the way he speaks to other women such as Andrews and Diana, he doesn’t even try to temper his words. Mind you, both these women weren’t exactly innocent, at least that’s what is implied. Regarding his relationship with Samantha, yes it was twisted and toxic as f*ck, but I was referring to the romantic notion of being so much in love that you need that person and can’t imagine living your life without them. Of course this was not the case between Ryan and Samantha.I believe the way Magda put it was that she managed to destroy every part of his soul that she touched. We really need more of Ryan’s POV on that entire relationship.

 

Thank you @TZia no, don't apologize, it's ok, I just worry that someone could read it by accident and get bothered.

Spoiler: About those parts:

That time he physically restrained her and went on about how many reports of rape were filed against the police etc… I think he was just trying to make a point to Belle not to provoke him. ---> Yeah, it was his intention, but it was a douchebag move ( I would have told him to take me to the precinct immediately and threaten to scream for help from his neighbors if he didn't ), but he didn't really feel something for her yet, and didn't know she was under the withdrawal effects, he thought she was just trying to seduce him. Besides, he was feeling guilty because he saw her naked, and felt conflicted at the same time (because she almost died, he was worried for her, and panicked, but still, after that he couldn't take the sight of her naked body from his mind). Fun fact, he did mouth to mouth on her, then tried to lift her from the floor when she started to gasp but fell on his back because his legs didn't respond and she was squirming to grab his arms. I don't think I'll write this, maybe in his POV, but that's how I imagined it.

Aside from that I noticed that he was always cold and mean to her every time they got close. ---> He was, but it was to push her away, not to hurt her. Imagine if she was a man and he was a woman, it would be classified as sexual harassment, he said no, and she insisted... I don't think he was really wrong in being annoyed or disappointed in her when she tried to force situations

For example at the hotel room after they kissed and Belle tried to take it further ---> She harassed him, but yeah, when he told her she was being "totally inconvenient" and that he was "getting sick" o her, he was rude, but again, she was harassing him.

After they had sex the first time ---> He treats her like a princess every time they have sex he literally massages her body and brings her breakfast in bed and cuddles her. She even acknowledged it saying he was being cute. He does attack her on his study later, but then again, because she was forcing a situation when he wanted to be away from her a bit to stop thinking about having sex with her again.

-after they had sex in the bathtub ---> What do you mean? I thought his behavior after bathtub sex was so cute! And his POV of this part is cute too, in my opinion.

It seems that he would let his guard down a little with her and then they were back to square one. And not to mention all the times he blatantly told her that he didn’t give a f*ck that she loved him and other choice words. Also the way he speaks to other women such as Andrews and Diana, he doesn’t even try to temper his words. Mind you, both these women weren’t exactly innocent, at least that’s what is implied. ---> He doesn't try to temper his words with anyone, just like Riftan (remember, he's based on him), but yeah, he hates Andrews and wishes Diana didn't exist, so he's a bit off the edge with them.

Regarding his relationship with Samantha, yes it was twisted and toxic as f*ck, but I was referring to the romantic notion of being so much in love that you need that person and can’t imagine living your life without them. Of course this was not the case between Ryan and Samantha.I believe the way Magda put it was that she managed to destroy every part of his soul that she touched. ---> Yep, it wasn't a romantic dependency like "Oh, I can't live without you because I think about you all the time". It was more like a "I have nowhere to go, and no other way of living, so, please, don't kick me out". It's very similar to Belle's condition, btw, especially in the first book. Her apartment had been burned down, she didn't have any friend she could trust, there was someone trying to kill her, she needed him, not only romantically.

We really need more of Ryan’s POV on that entire relationship. ---> this is gonna take LONG