Discussion I don't know if I'm the only one who feels this

I just want to ask if you ever experienced this. So It's like this, before reading novels and when I'm only starting to read (since I don't quite know what kind of novel I should read, I just picked the novel I've seen on the home page....it's on web novel) I'm not that addicted to reading but since the pandemic start and I don't have any close relative to talk with (since my father is strict, my siblings are all boys and have different hobbies from me, and I feel shy to open up to my mother) I gradually become introvert and I feel shy every time I saw new people.

But that's not the point It's about my perceptions or opinions. I always read novels with a female protagonist and most of them are with romance and no harem. Genre is usually gender bender, school life, cultivation (depending on my mood). And then after reading for a long time (3 years) my taste gradually change, if before I can still accept ml having a son from another girl before meeting fmc or ml played with many women, now I felt uncomfortable every time I read something like ml has other girls before fmc (It's like on my mind ml betrayed fmc or ml doesn't deserve fmc) I admit I don't like the drama a lot but I occasionally read it if I want to cry to relieve my sadness or whatever sad things happened in my life. Sometimes I even think that I'm selfish but I just can't stand it (I don't know if it's because I'm too emotional or I kinda put myself in fmc position). I'm not clear what happened cause before I can still read novels with scumbag ml (before he meet fmc or he met fmc but still an @$$#0LE) but now I literally can't stand it and also I can probably accept it if it happened not on fmc or ml (for example on someone fmc knows) I may feel uncomfortable but not that severe as when it happens on the main characters. Maybe some of you would say if you can't stand it then don't read it, but I love reading books cause only in books do I feel alive and even if I don't want to read it, some plot (unexpected) happens and coincidentally it happens on the novel I'm currently reading (even if I just took a glance on it my brain won't stop analyzing).

I made this thread not only to know if other people experience this but also to make my body comfortable since I don't have anyone to talk with. If you can share something that maybe can help me please do send it here.


*My thread has many errors (dramatically/typos) but thanks for bearing with me <3 I would be glad if you could help me with my grammar and point me what things I should change

 

As for me, our taste kinda reverse. I couldn't accept either ML or FL having a child with someone else before they met and I even disliked the idea of changing ML/FL. But, after finding that most C-novels (even Korean ones included), I hope the FL (usually) stays away from the abusive ML especially if the redemption arc is just like brushing off her sufferings under the rug.

Having the FL go to a new ML who treats her well and even her child makes me think love is so beautiful Like, you can accept her flawed past and help her to bloom after she withered

But, these kinds of stories are not too many so I would just read anything that I find interesting even for a little

 

Hello! I used to be able to read novels like that too but after I got out of a very harmful relationship I wasn’t able to read them anymore. They made me sick to my stomach even if the characters were devoted ? I couldn’t figure out what was wrong. I don’t want to read about “realistic” relationships where the fl isn’t ml’s first, but shoujo idealistic romances aren’t exactly healthy to read about either... that was how I got into that mess after all.
I couldn’t find that perfect balance of spicy passion and respectful boundaries and so I lost one of the only things that made me happy. Romance and love are a huge part of me so even when I tried reading other genres it wasn’t the same.

...but then I found bl!! Mwahaha
I don’t take on the character’s emotions because it’s much harder to see myself in them and in their love. I don’t fuss with the healthy/not healthy (unless it’s super bad) because it’s just a book and now the book can’t hurt me anymore.

 

I also don't like dark novels like what you've mentioned where ml is abusive. I prefer tsundere ml than yandere (yandere are so scary sometimes uwu)

 

Still the same from the day I started reading novels.
I still hate CN works.
I still prefer JP and add KR to that.
Yuri is still acceptable but Yaoi/BL is still a NO.
I still like my Isekai trash.


The only thing differs is that.

I dont pick anything up unless theres a manga/manhua/manhwa or anime.
And theres a ton more BL/Yaoi in NU.

 

At first I tried to search on google why do I feel like that but nonee of them answer my question and since my family don't have money I can't consult a psychologist.

I tried reading them again but my mind reject it. Since then everytime I encountered plot like that, I'll just skip the chapter or drop the novel If I really can't stand it anymore.

Like you, I'm now trying to read Bl novels. It's like reading genderbender except that mc is a boy inside out lol

 

hmmm this cat sometime wanna slap the cold, overbearing type, while its fun to read when turn the brain off but sometimes this cat lil brain just randomly on process the story~ as for previous partner nah no problem~ it just drama element while it have various potential for supa serious meh most just meh~ this cat used to watch cheap soap opera aka long tv series full of cliche, dragged conflict or such stuff which usually target housewife or maid (?) err house keeper~
misunderstand, the ex show up, parent in law disagree, swapped daughters (damn this cat swear this was popular cliche or trope across asia drama!), ML and FL multiple time break up etc so this cat kinda tolerant with the wn cheap stuff perhaps? oh btw if FL just have big fight with ML then walk alone somehow a car crash to her..... maybe? or if have critical illness wanna breakup with lie and stuff, basically just hate me!

maybe we can list bunch of trope

 

For me, I am alright with ML have another girl before. as long as both ML and the girl solve that peacefully, not ML abandoning old lover because MC. So in that sense, we had reverse logic in not liking ML have an ex. Rather than pitying MC, I am more pitying old lover.. Moreover if he already had child with old lover. For engagement or girlfriend/boyfriend, it depend on how the author wording it I guess..

Or maybe the ML/MC was about to solve the conflict/propose and then bam.. suddenly one of them got into accident and go missing/have amnesia?
Some asian country dramas are most likely to have those thing to prolong the plot.
But, unlike you who got tolerant to it, I just stop watching/reading any of those things

 

just skim it~ to resolve point~

 

Tastes change overtime. Overthinking on novels plot, imagination, lost in books.....is very common. And moreover I don't read novels which waste braincells. I feel like my brain becomes mush when I read chinese cliche novels...thou still I like Chinese novels, but I don't read cliche. Sometimes when you read too many novels you can read the entire plot of the story or analyse the characters persona with just a few chapters.

 

I'm the same but the difference is I know why I'm like this . When I was starting to read Manga (really young age 11/12) I read a two shoujo mangas by IKEYAMADA Go (Moe Kare and Suki desu Suzuki-kun!!) and it fucked me up really bad ; both the female leads lose virginity in the manga with someone who wasn't the male lead in the middle of the story and after reading those two mangas one after another I couldn't read BxG couple anymore. Read only yaoi for years and then slowly started on BxG again but only if I was sure the female lead is virgin and then latter I was OK if the female lead wasn't virgin but only if it didn't happen in the middle of the story . And still now I read mainly yaoi and still can't read any type of novel/manga where the Mc sleep with another person who isn't Ml. If you're curious about the Manga here one of the manga summary that I wrote to put off some ragehttps://forum.novelupdates.com/threads/manga-that-made-me-mad.137228/

 

It might be because that you no longer think that they are fictional charecters and you treat them as real life people
In some stories you find characters you can relate to and it's hard to cast them as unreal
Or it might simply be because you are sensitive to pressure, stress or sad events

 

I've encointered all of the clinche you've mention. It's funny that you've got it all right. Maybe fake daughter is the most popular CN plot (for readers like me). On fake daughter there is always a plot (and for me it was now as expected) where the fake's family background is much powerful than the one who adopted her.... And if the fmc is not the fake on (was actually the true but got kidnapped) her biological family always favors their grean tea/white lotus adopted daughter (which is kinda annoying for someone like me who wants a different route)

Also on every CN plot, there is always a dog blood drama where the deed is done finished before he regretted why he didn't cherish her

We are quite opposite. I like CN more than Japanese and Korean. And I like Korean more than Japanese. Bl is acceptable but yuri is a no.

Everytime I'm finding some novels to read, I found many interesting plot, it's a pity it's all yaoi (but that's fine)

I also tried to reverse the situation like for example if fmc has an old lover or a son from other man before meeting ml, I always feel like It's fine. But every time I changed it back, I still can't accept it It's like I just want ml to be clean not that innocent, it fine if he's possesive (in a kind way) being domineering is fine but not in the way that he kinda breaks fmc's wings. On fmc, I don't like the type of useless (vase or something) I want an independent fmc but also dependent on ml (but not always)

Ml who make fmc pregnant but he didn't even know then they will meet maybe 4-6 years later (I kinda hate this plot) I also feel uncomfortable when fmc got pregnant or she gave birth cause I feel there's another I'm what should I called it.... I can't explain it, maybe it's because I don't have a child?

I admit that that common thing is happening to me. I can't stop reading novels, I tried many things to make myself to stop reading but nothing makes me happy except making my own imagination from reading books, it's like the imagination I made Is my own world? But I still can manage myself to stop when It's time to stop

You got it all right. So whenever I felt sad about a character (for example one of my favorite character in the novel died) I always make myself think that it's not true he didn't die cause he wasn't true. I may think that those fictional characters live in real life that's why it changes some of my perceptions in life (for example, if I read in something in a novel I automatically considered it as true and not only an opinion of others?) Maybe it's bad but I really tried my best to separate my imagination from my own life T•T

 

I've also started reading way more and depending on reading more since the pandemic.

If you've been reading a lot of C-novels, it might be because C-novels romanticize "first love" and look down on having a love history, considering it to be similar to cheating (even if it happened before the main characters met).

I think it's pretty common to pick up the values of the culture you live in, and if you're very isolated aside from the novels, then these novels are essentially "the culture you live in".

If it bothers you, trying reading a few romance novels from another culture, like American or British. I recommend:
Red, White, & Royal Blue
The Charm Offensive
The Kiss Quotient
Her Big City Neighbor
A Negotiated Marriage
Trade Me
A Princess in Theory
Get a Life, Chloe Brown
Lore Olympus - this one is also available as a free webcomic (click on "first episode" to start from the beginning) and features themes of recovering from trauma, so viewer discretion advised

A number of the above novels are part of a series, or are written by prolific authors, so you can also check out the other books they've written.

 

Indeed. Thank you for recommendation, I'll make sure I' check it out later.

 

In my experience, it's fine and u should be somewhat uncomfortable with scumbag ML. But u cant cause your outlook on life be affected very negatively from these novels since u should ultimately separate the FMC pain from your own pain. Otherwise you will start viewing most guys in a negative light and have difficulty building trust in future relationships. (this is for the deep end)

 

Are you feeling lonely?

I would suggest putting down novels(for a while) and switching to some drama. Books leave a lot to the readers imagination and this can be great but also stressful(I have problem where I daydream for hours just because I read this one scene from a book).

When I watch dramas I fangirl too but because these are real people and I have less control on the way I imagine the scene it also liberates me form getting lost in my thoughts and waste time. Watching the scenes I imagined played in real-life also makes me look back on my naivety like forgiving the MCs for behaving in a certain way.

I think you just have a preference for now.

But indulging in too much fiction can mess with your head when your younger...took me one relationship to realize that having a boyfriend is nothing like the way you read in novels.
Also read this novel where the FML gets cheated on and now I have this fear that I will never find a loyal man...so yeah as much as I sound like a nagging mom I feel like its better to always keep this in the back of your mind that this is not real.

 

I think you are talking about 'Statunitian' and British novels.

 

@LittleFox001 I dont know what type of novels you read but as a man i also read novels with female mc but I've never read one with Male lead with a harem (maybe you read romance from american or british novels where they make it so complicated)

Try reading:
Fields of Gold
Back to the Sixties
Kuma Kuma Kuma Bear (not romance)

 

Honestly, Canadian, Mexican, or other American novels would be fine too. Doesn't need to be US only.