What was the biggest realization you had about yourself?

I'm not smart. I don't have enough knowledge, I won't have enough knowledge, and it is fine even if I am. I need to learn economics. But, my progress is slow.

 

That I should always put me first and I should do whatever I want because people will judge you anyway no matter what you do so why don't I just do what makes me happy

 

I don't really care about anyone or anything. Even if the whole world gets destroyed tomorrow I wouldn't care.

 

I give up too easily because I don't believe in myself

 

I am born in wrong era

 

That I really am frustrating. Not only to myself of course but to others. In a sense, I'm really a bit of an aloof asshole.

I recently realized this because someone verbally said it to me. And it was my older sister.

Probably the factors of how I grew up made me this way. I always feel like what I have to say isn't 'worth' saying, so it makes it harder for me to find my voice. And when I do speak out my opinion, I feel like it isn't heard or perhaps I'm not speaking loud enough. Metaphorically.
But this also makes people confused and frustrated, since they can't understand me and read my mind.

But also literally.
I was in a conversation with my sister when she caught me off guard by saying, "I hate when you do that, you know."
And I was confused, so I asked. "Do what?"
"Trail off and mumble, completely stop what you're saying, or just say 'nevermind' and then walk away from the conversation out of the blue. It is annoying, irritating even, which makes the conversation uncomfortable. And you wonder why so many people don't talk to you. Just say what you have to say, and get it over with already."

It hit me that she was right. I never really noticed it though. It was a rude awakening that I needed though.
If someone doesn't like what I say, I don't need to overanalyze it, just move on, and stop thinking 'Ah, I shouldn't have said that', because the moment is already done.

It's a really cowardly & pathetic stance, and also a rude/dick move at the same time.

 

I think it's good that you realized it! Now you can start working on fixing that! ^^)/

 

I think or talk too much and do too little. Even if I try to promise myself I'll do more, part of me rebels and breaks the promises against my will.

I am very hard on myself and see most other people as better.
If I like something I think that it's probably not that great, if I made something it's terrible but I'll like it so never show anyone if possible, if I did something I've messed up somehow or could've done better.
Things like that.

 

My brain still maturing and will prolly open up more channels and understanding I never did before~~
But so far there's a lot... About my personality, how I got to this point, etc~

 

*hugs* Ah... I can relate to that feeling of always feeling like I could have done something better... orz

Try your best, Mir-chan! It's important to be proud of your accomplishments! >.<

 

I know, I have realized it happens and I'm working on changing my way of thinking. Right now it's still automatic and it's just amazing how bad it is. I really don't feel proud of anything if I think about it more than 5 seconds, because of negative thoughts. It's pretty ridiculous :v
Like, why? wtf? -level
I can only work on breaking the pattern but it's such an old pattern it'll be hard.

 

That's way too relatable... orz

I learned to be proud of my things to some extent, but it's sooooooo easy to fall back onto "Ah, this wasn't that much" or "Anyone could this much if they tried"... orz

Let's try our best, Mir-chan! *hugs*

 

were the same, i remember in school whenever we have a group activity i always want to say something but end up saying nothing, because growing up whenever i talk to someone or suggest something to them theyre not listening to me, so i think it become a habit of mine. but im trying to change it

 

Yay. Social-struggle pals.

In seriousness, openly saying what comes to mind, even when I'm alone, helps. Or even conversations in my head. It helps me feel more confident, especially since the person that listens best to you really is you.
Good luck.

 

The fact that I have maladaptive daydreaming to escape reality and people who desperately need my attention

 

Bro same
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I become a completely different person when I'm in public, when I'm with people I like I become too much and go overboard and when I'm with a power figure I become a wimp little mouse

 

Which era would you have wanted to have been born in?

 

Stone Age Era