Discussion My brother is sexist

The reason I posted this online is: We had conversation just a while ago where he commented how a man replied to a woman under a facebook post.
The post was about how single mother can't raise their children right and that single mother can't educate their daughter right. And the woman in the comment commented that she disagrees, because she is raised by a single mother and her mother could replace her both the father and mother.
And the OP replied to her with insult. Like: oh, I see how you are educated. You are cutting in between mens conversation. And many more hurtful words.
When my brother read out loud those insults I was furious. The woman in the comment was respectful in her reply why insult her?, I said. And he started laughing that I don't understand nothing and that I'm too uneducated.
Those insults hurt me because I'm too a single mother and I wouldn't want my kid hear those insults in his address.

 

empower urself
Grow up move out
With maturity u will either realize that u either put up or tell them to stfu. Ur moms the real retard here. Only a bitch can raise a dog ur brother in this case.

 

@SpeedGirl something to consider. What kind of example are you portraying to your child. That it’s ok. To be degraded and humiliated if your a women. It’s ok to be used and discarded. Stand up and show your child what a modern women is in this world. Show them what a mother should be like. Be the person you want to be. Be the mother that your child deserve. Good luck

 

Start mocking him for his inability to care for himself like an adult. Loudly. To his face. Question his ability. If he's so superior, why can't he cook? It's not like their aren't highly paid male chefs out there. Men do cook. Butlers make big bucks taking care of laundry and dishes. The highest paid fashion designers and tailors are all men. Why is your brother so useless?
Lay out all of his worthlessness on the table.
And then leave.
You may care for your mother, but she has a grown son there to care for her as well.
Take yourself out of the situation. See how well they handle it without you around. Eventually, neither you nor your mother will be around to take care of his whiney butt. Almost always our parents leave us first and you have your own life to live.
They're both adults. They can take care of themselves. And you do you.

 

Something to consider: you can always leave your brother once and for all when the one you feel bound to (your mom) passes away. At that time, you won't really have anything holding you back from leaving, but that's only if you can bide your time and wait that long.
Otherwise, you should do whatever he tells you to do poorly like not season his food, only cook him his hated foods, etc. Be petty about everything since he believes you're "inferior" anyways. You should also somehow get him to give you money, maybe by telling him that the man of the family's supposed to provide the food so he should give you the money to buy the food. Once you get enough money, you can just hire a housekeeper or something to deal with his bs. You can also try removing yourself for a month, and people tend to only miss what they don't have, so they might treat you better for the short term or feel less entitled. You can also show him this thread to let him know how fragile his masculinity is.
Honestly, the most realistic answer I have is to hire a housekeeper. In the end though, you need to figure out what you want. Do you want to endure or do you want this to end? Suit up, you're a modern woman!

 

I can't blame my mother. Because she grew up in similar conditions. She had two brothers who wouldn't let her go out of the house. She didn't even finish the junior high school. In her whole life they convinced her that woman is inferior to men and that she shall obey her husband on everything.
You know the ancient chinese wisdom for virtuous women: obey your father when you are girl, obey your husband after marriage, obey your son after dowagerhood.
I'm different just because I studied. If I didn't do that I would be just like her, I'm afraid.

 

You deserve what you tolerate.

 

Yeah, maybe you are right...

 

You could try helping out your mother in other ways if you feel you need to help her. Picking up groceries and the other odds or ends. Then when your brother tells you to do something, tell him to fuck off and eat glue like he has apparently done all his life. If men are so superior, why is he unable to do his own damn laundry? Also, laugh in his face and tell him you have a policy not to waste your time talking to losers who still live with their mother. Note: personally don't care, we all have our own circumstances, but he sounds like the type of guy who would get really pissed at that.

 

I understand what you are saying. Your mother has been brainwashed too much to think that what she is doing and teaching your brother is right but you are better than that. You have the education to realise that this is not true and is in fact a horrible thing to be around.

I agree with others are saying. Rather than making everything sub-par as that can end with your mom scolding you and doing it herself. Demean your brother. Taunt him. Make fun of his worthlessness. For eg: If he asks you to cook for him. "Grown so big and is of superior gender and still cant do a simple thing like cooking lol"

 

if your mother is sick and your brother forces her to work because you don't want to work for him, he is the one being unfilial. He is the one who doesn't want to do the work. it is because of that that your mother has to do the work for him. he is the one not sparing a thought for his sick mother. not you. all you did was to refuse his needy ass because he's 24 and capable of cleaning up after himself.

my criticism aside,
you can try to convey to your mother, if she continue serving to your brother's every need, eventually when he's gone, he'll become a waste that can't take care of himself.
you have a child, and that child is not your brother. if you had to choose between taking care of him and your child, I do not think you should choose him.
if you pity your mother for being worked even though she is sick, you could (like someone said above), hire a housekeeper. but if your brother demands people to do minor things like "taking a spoon for his meal", you should hire him a babysitter instead. (however, I'm not sure if that would be a financial burden for you)
has he never went to college? maybe live independently without you or your mom tending to him?

 

I'm sure your mom knows that if he does the laundry, cleaning, and cooking it would end up disastrous so she sends the angel that is you.

Arguments over gender supremacy are total BS and gender equality is also nonsense. Man and woman are different, if you want the best result both must work together (according to what the best their role can give in) and not one slaving the other. You already do your job (laundry, cleaning, cooking) so you can expect him do his job.... Wait! What his job? He never help you? Does he ever say thank you?

I assume because you live in another house, he also lives independently but looks like he still lives with your mother (if he lives independently, you can ask for money or something in return, no free lunch today). Asking for help from your mother is useless because he is younger than you. The youngest son is almost guaranteed to become Mommy's boy, the youngest daughter is Daddy's little girl and single kid with wrong education is a spoiled brat (any gender)

Don't arguments over something he found on FB, its useless. If you want to annoy him you can nag him non-stop

 

Work on what together?
Yes he lives with my parents.
Do you think he helps to carry heavy groceries or throw the trash? Or helps me when I lift heavy furnitures?
He just plays PC in his room all day long or goes out with his friend.
When I say to my mom that he can do household chores in their house and that I have my own house to take care, I have homeworks to be done and that I work and I'm tired... I just hear that I'm a girl and must do that and he is a boy and she doesn't have control over him...

Ps. Sorry if I wrote messy... i was just too zealous

 

Your brother seems to be a selfish asshole. You could be petty as hell to him. As stated in other posts, you could mess with his food such as making it; inedible, extremely simple, same thing every day, something he hates, or disgusting (durian anyone?). You could tell him to go to a sex doll website to find a girlfriend/wife because no one else will have him; accidentally bleach his clothes in the wash; clean the toilet with his toothbrush; be condescending by treating him as a five-year-old child; delete all his save data for games.

The best thing I can think of is to just stay away from your family for now. Your parents can deal with him themselves.

 

You cannot change your mother, you cannot change your brother. Why should you suffer (you are suffering) for your brother? Your mother may be disappointed in you, but your future self will be even more disappointed if you let this go on. I know how much you love your mother, and I know how much it will hurt when you begin telling her no. She will suffer if you do not help her, but she does not care when you suffer. You cannot help someone who does not want to be helped. The women your brother would be interested in (I am guessing westernized) would not want a child like your brother. Your mom expects you to take care of him for the rest of your life. Are you going to clean up after him for the rest of your life? It is easier for you to say "no" now then in 10 years. What about when they cannot care for him? Will he sponge off you?

If your parents do not eventually come around, you have to accept that they love or value your brother more then you (common in Asian households). I know that will be hard, but they have shown they are willing to work you to death if that makes your brother happy. You are an adult and you get to choose who you want to be around. My mom took 25 years to eventually divorce my emotionally abusive father. She is much happier now. I hope it will not take you that long to leave your situation.

Remember, you are loved and you do not need your mother or father to approve your decisions. You are a strong person who need to put that strength into herself. It is easy to ignore the problem, my mom ignored her problem for 25 years (SE Asia, low education, arranged marriage). When she finally addressed the problem she saw how powerless my father was in preventing her from getting what she wanted.

I know it is easy for us to say the because we are not in your position. But I have seen my mom who was similar to your mom break free from my father. You will need a support network but you can do this. Remember, you are not asking for something outrageous, you are only asking to be treated like a person.

Always stay safe so you can fight another day. All you are asking is to treated like a human, you are asking for the bare minimum. Say these words out loud. "I am not the problem." "I am strong."

 

For such kind of long term problems it is not healthy to do these kind of things.it is not a safe way to tackle such people. Try to minimize your existence Infront of them.if she will mess with his food then she will be only one to bear the concequnces .SHE WILL HAVE TO REDO THE WHOLE WORK.

 

This discussion is pretty much one-sided...well I just skimmed thru it.

Other people already gave ample suggestions for you to consider.

My younger brother is the same as yours. The irresponsible adult.

I always follow this golden rule when I interact with him:

“All things, therefore,that you want men to do to you, you also must do to them. ”

Don't twist it and do bad stuff in return to your brother's actions.

For me, just don't overdo yourself.

Learn to de-escalate the situation when arguing with him.

Have a positive day~

 

This is a good enough reason to stop this drama. You can complain how you work while he playing around and you want to stop this

If they ask you to come for the usual chore, you can just ignore them and don't come over or advise them to hire a maid. Your brother can play around so your parents must be quite rich, right? If not, tell your brother to work so he can have much money to hire a dedicated maid

For the sexism argument, I assume he is just like to see your reaction. I guess he wants to see your angry face knowing you can't do anything to him

 

then the answer is easy, cut them off

 

Just don't give the reaction your brother wants. The reason why he does this is because he knows that's what riles you up and that you show that you care about what he says. Act like an unoppinionated potato in front of those non welcoming to yours.

Care less about what others say and more about what you believe in. :>