Discussion What was the most hurtful thing your parents have ever said to you?Did that affect your life?

What was the most hurtful thing your mom or dad has said to you?Did it affect your life in any way?

To join in the discussion i will say mine too-
"Go stay with your 'boyfriends' and let them feed you if they don't feed you then go make some outside!Never come in this house again!!" -My mom when I was 12 yrs old
Reason :I 'talked back' to her.
Effect : Had a lot of guy friends.Broke of with all of 'em after this argument. afraid to talk to guys in real life.Well it's not really that bad of a effect since I have more time to focus on my interests so


"You are the reason of all the quarrels in this house!You gaslight people up an then watch the drama !!"-My Mom
Reason : kinda long not gonna explain.
Effect : Whenever a quarrel happens in my house i start self-blaming that if only i hadn't done that or if only i hadn't given him water.yh but that's also cool it just means that i am observantYou see i remember even Lil details how thoughtful of me


If you read till the end and already forgot then i will remind you to read the title again ... It's about 'YOU' NOT 'ME' so please share if you are comfortable with it

 

I voted but sharing stories??? No, nope, my life's story is mine only... Pity and Sympathy adds to hurt and burden... very bad combination

 

I mean you can kind of share if you are comfortable.The people in NU doesn't really give pity or sympathy like they do on yt like 'oh i am so sorry for you' .Neither the fake consolations..they tell their side of story and just tell you what is wrong and what is not

Tho i agree that pity and sympathy is indeed a burden and adds to the wound

 

I think wtvr they say or do (depending on how far they go on the "do" part) is eventually understandable when u become an adult and i mean like at 20 years or more for some people. They are still our parents, so go for kindness as much as u can or u'll regret it one day.

 

Had got into a lot of rows with my mother, with accusations and acerbic charges traded back and forth, and as an adult, came away with the profound realization of how mostly I had been the one in the wrong.

 

"That food is perfectly safe to eat! If you don't want to eat, then you can starve!"

-Just before my close encounter with food poisoning-
No worries, I got back at him by sudden vomiting. On him.

 

The most hurtful thing my mom said was because of my dad. she did not mean to be hurtful and was only being truthful while answering my questions. the question I asked was something like "why did dad not want me/us"

and she replied with "because you were born a girl "
my dad and his whole side of the family were sexist asshokes so they decided that before I was born they ask the doctor if I was a boy, the doctor said yes (I'm pretty sure they said that just to get the money) and so I was allowed to be born. turns out I wasn't biologicaly born a male and my dad stopped visiting. they got divorced and I was curious why

 

When I was a teenager, I had a lot of rows with my mom and dad. Many hurtful things had been said from both sides. Now as an adult, I forgot most of them. But I did realize that while I was in the wrong most of the time back then, they perhaps could have handled things in a better way. However, it didn't help that they had and still have a lot of high expectations of me, and I, being the stubborn bull that I am, still insist to go on my own way. So even as an adult, the frictions are still never-ending. Sigh

Though I do remember one thing that really affected my personality
The incident: So I think me and my mom were in the middle of a huge row and she said something along the lines of "you were the reason why I didn't divorce your dad and kept on holding onto this marriage" (My parents are asian so they're pretty much conservative)
So I think any other would have felt incredibly guilty and remorse I guess after hearing it. But I felt enraged instead and my inner restlessness calmed down a lot
Effect: So after that, I shred my pretense of being occasionally naughty but generally good and likable person to my hidden self of sarcastic, indifferent, and a completely blunt bitch
Result: Stopped playing nice with annoying relatives and annoying anyone. And I always tell my parents whenever their certain logic or words are hypocritical and nonsensical. It does give them high blood pressure but in the end, they can't really refute other than words like okay so you've grown up and think you know the best and blah blah blah (The trick is I choose my battle wisely because it is true that parents aren't always wrong, as much as fun that'd be)

So in the end, my mom believes I'm cold-blooded, my dad would rather not pick a row with me if he can help himself (which he unfortunately can't most of the time as he's a short-tempered guy. I pity the guy sometimes) and most of my friends view me as cold-hearted but also dependable? Really whatever floats their boats

 

Since I joined NUF, I've been reading so many interesting posts from all of you, and sometimes I wonder if my life is normal or not. I'm a single child living in the north part of Earth, from a wealthy family, dad is a CIA, mom is a surgeon, I have asthmas, I'm A honor student with scholarships flow in like rivers, I can do whatever I want all by myself, spend half of my life at a private ice rink and alone in the cold, and nobody ever says "NO" to me, ahh... life is so boring.

So when I meet new people, I get too excited and become too bubbly, which some people hate and think I have mental issues, lol . But I enjoy this kind of reaction from people because it makes me feel ALIVE.

 

Oh man, if i say everysingle one of them i would dominate this thread.

But if i were to choose, it would be:

"You're not my daughter anymore, you're a useless, good for nothing child which is better off dead"

Tbh, I don't remember the exact words and it's said in my native language but this pretty much explains it.

went feral at first and counter attacked with "You fucking thick faced bastard, you're delusional, did you think you ever acted like how a father would do? I'm useless? Where did u think i learned that from? Obvious isn't? Don't exclude yourself, children learn from what they see, my fault? Go look at yourself "
I was acting so strong but break down and sobbed for hours in my room.

Effect: depression mode and discovered novem updates.

"You can't do it, you'll achieve nothing with this, it's ugly "

i thought our relationship was pretty peaceful, we grew distance and all and that's for good but .. yeah,

Reason: i dropped out of school (which i regretted even now tbh but it did improved my mental health) i was doing art and that guy saw it lol.

i tried calmly reason out to him but was invalidated for like a 100 times, so i just handed over the phone to mother even i didn't want to. (I could have just hang up tbh)

Effect: yk that very, very, like as in super duper tiny amount , like a speck of dust of affection towards him? it vanished, it's one thing to degrade me, but MY HOPES AND DREAMS, LIKE MY LAST LIFELINE, just to be insulted like that? Ehh, haha, nope, *blocks out of life*

"You're like your father"

Ouch, literal ouch, that just puts salt in the wound, damn, i also hated my face for so long bc i look like a copy and paste of him, and... I can't really change my behaviours since that's just how childhood development works, no matter how differently i act, if I'm pushed at the very far off cliff, I'll inevitably start acting like him like someone press a reset button.

Tbh voicing that out, that i do not like being compared to my father was one of the biggest regret of my life, cuz now they accidentally use those when we're getting into an argument, WHICH IS REALLY REALLY IMMATURE, but it sure gets the job done to make me more heated up than ever, and it all somehow becomes my fault in the end anyways.

 

First time I wrote a poem in my native language. Things were said and done. It was romantic poem and let's just say you aren't allowed to have early romance where I live. And it was indeed partially my fault.

Effect- I can't compose anything in my native language. I want to but my mind goes blank.

There are other instances but ig you get over things as you grow older.

 

Well I most of the time ignore reality and live in my imaginary world of anime,manga and novels so,
I never had any interest in anything.in my studies or anything I was average at best and I didn't feel like putting in much effort .so my parents thought I didn't try my best and kept annoying me
Well I still have no interest in particular leaving anime

 

My brother in christ. Some of you mfs have lived drama lives.

The worst thing one of my parents has done to me was just slap me but it was for a extremely good reason. Like a super amazingly good reason. Like god, I am glad they slapped some sense into me.



My parents don't do the "make your kid feel like shit" shit. The worst thing they've ever said to me is "Your acting stupid."

Now to some people that may seem bad but look at it more closely. They didnt say that I was stupid. They said I was ACTING stupid.

It reaffirmed my own belief of that I'm not stupid since they said I was acting stupid ie I'm of average intellegence but I'm acting like I'm fuckin stupid.


They only really said this after I dropped out of high school and got a job but then got fired from said job.

No worries brother you are handsome/ pretty, awesome and amazing and superb. And your hot and smart.


But art.........
holy fuck your a nerd

 

"I wish you were never born"-my mom when I was 13
Reason- She had an argument with dad and was venting her anger on me
Effect- I said "You shouldn't have given birth to me in the first place" and got a slap in response

"You are ugly"- my mom(She has said it so many times I have lost count)
Reason- apparently she doesn't like the fact that I have black skin like my father
Effect- I hate people who brings up skin color
" just go and die if you wanna go outside that much badly"- my mom( when I was 8/9)
Reason- I wanted to go outside and play with kids of my age
Effect- I'm an introvert without a single clue about how to interact with others.
And as for my dad... I don't think I have ever held any conversation with him that has lasted more than a minute.
....
....
....
it's nothing more than some mindless ranting from me...... although tbh I never held any of that against her that much....cuz I know she does care for me......... I think.

 

LMAOOO,. This is my first time being called a nerd this is so funny , thank you, i just woke up, i had a good laugh, but tbh due to quarantine and stuff, i do be acting introverted than ever and more focused in art... So i guess I'm a nerd now? ...*scratches head* sorry, I can't really connect the dots between art and nerds

 

T-then I am a nerd too?! cuz i also like poems,novels, and make art(digital & traditional)ofc....etc...
And it's all cuz of quarantine

How am i even gonna make friends?!