deal with the feeling that if you disappear for so long, no one really cares? If you stop reaching out, people will get tired of trying too. What then when you stop trying? Just live with the fact that years and years from now on, you'll be nothing but alone? An eye for an eye and the world goes blind. No one tries to reach out anyway, then why should you too? EDIT 1: No, I definitely didn't read a tragedy... tragedy stories are self torture...
I suppose that you're worried about this is because you're an extrovert. Because, as an introvert, not having to interact with other people, along with them not being clingy about it, is a relief.
I know what your feeling. I’ve spent years in that fog. The key is enjoying the peace. Also not placing others as the reason for your happiness or your self worth. Happiness is found within you. As to reaching out. I believe you need to do this, but not some grandiose plan. Asking the cashier how was her day. Or opening a door for a person. Enjoying a book on a bench and nodding to people passing by. These moments don’t only justify your presence, but theirs as well. What I suggest is you continue doing the things you love, but maybe in a way where you interact with others. Like a book club or go on a vacation some where faraway and just spend a few days not being you. Always remember. Every negative thing that you come across. Think of it as a challenge and not a setback. You can’t control others or many events in your life, but you do have control over yourself. Focus on your goals, dreams or even hobbies. In so doing. Like minded will gather around you, but always remember. Your a good person and you matter
by interact with people who have positive thinking~ by doing thing that teach you let it go of possession or material stuff~ by learn to appreciate what you have via learn to know what actually you have~ by doing positive stuff~ by learning to have hope~ basically if your mind is sick it can affect your mindset~ it kinda interesting if ya have deadly disease or stuff similar to that it can affect your mind~ it never hard stuff to know it just hard stuff to understand~ more so if you surrounded by cynical, bad environment and bad experience~
I either just don't deal with it or just cry my eyes out while listening to depressing musicOR maybe just be in solitude for a few hours..it pushes the negativity down for me idk why but ig solitude is the answer for me
I don't really understand what you want to say. But, I assume you are dealing with the idea that at some point there won't be any people who actually care about you. Instead of worrying about it, I suggest you try to resolve your need for the affirmation of others, otherwise you will never be able to appreciate yourself and suffer your whole life.
I know how you feel. I don’t have any good advice for you. Just, you’re not alone in feeling this way. Try your best to find friends who keep reaching out. Try making new friends.
The way I see it, one cannot simply eschew all human interaction, cut oneself off from the great mass of humanity, as it were (unless one belongs to some of those highly insular tribes, but even they have their closed little communities) no matter how much one may find the idea of solitude appealing; humans are just not wired that way. One may not put in the effort to form lasting bonds, may even shy away from face-to-face interaction, but one often looks for some substitute to fulfil emotional needs, be it through online interaction, through books, movies or music (one-sided though they may be, they are also a form of artistic, aesthetic or creative apprehension, of affirmation) or adoption of pets.
This feeling is called ennui. A form of existential crisis. Every adult human on the planet feels it at some point in their life in some form or another. Realization that they are alone and unique in their human experience. That no matter how many connections we make to the people around us, in the end, we are alone in our own skulls. And that eventually every significant connection we feel -will- break, either through changing feelings, situations, or death. Even if we pass on surrounded by loved ones, we will be alone in that experience. And even the memory of our existence is fleeting in the vastness of history. There is no answer to this. You merely survive and try not to think about it too much. You can try to make a mark on history. Leave some sort of legacy to be remembered, but there will come a time when even our gods will be forgotten, much less us mere mortals. I take comfort in that.
ARE YOU TELEPATHIC OR WHAT? I suffer from these too and it can really have an impact or leave a toll on the relationship between 1) you and yourself & 2) you and others. Im still currently healing myself from this. It gets triggured now and then. But I’m doing my best to work it out somehow and just have fun with my time and focus on myself. I tried doing something by going away for a few months and never posted anything. Im a spammer and I love sharing things but I went away anyway. But no one really messaged me or anything while I was away. Which is sad and depressed me for many months. I blamed them for not messaging me first cuz I was always ALWAYS AND ALWAYS the one who initiated first. Those peeps never did that. But yeah I sat with the feeling and addressed it. (also went thru the 5 stages of grief LMAO! Healthy grieving is the best tho) I learned that these peeps, just like me, are just tired with how these times are like and they are lonely like me too but they dont want to try anymore cuz for them whats the point? But yeah I lowered my ego and pride and went back to the people who I have a healthy and PROGRESSIVE relationships with, not the ones who I kept on trying to message yet inbox zones me anyway(even tho they keep on saying no one messages them,. Bch are u blind or what?) anyways yea I spent my time alone without drowning myself on this addictive yet negative feeling/energy. I actively went out of my comfort zone and tried to find ppl who had the same problems as me and looked for posts or solutions or tips or advices or videos etcetc that could enlighten me and help me find a way out or a way to cope with this feeling or how to get thru the inner system of my emotional sphere. Im still doing that. It can really eat away your self-esteem and it cues the existential dread. But Im with you on this and you are not alone. Idunno if this would help with your situation but imma leave Andrei Tarkovsky’s words for you <33 its a video transcript but meh whatevs “What would you like to tell young people?”. “I don’t know… I think I’d like to say only that they should learn to be alone and try to spend as much time as possible by themselves,” the director replied. “I think one of the faults of young people today is that they try to come together around events that are noisy, almost aggressive at times. This desire to be together in order to not feel alone is an unfortunate symptom, in my opinion. “Every person needs to learn from childhood how to spend time with oneself. That doesn’t mean he should be lonely, but that he shouldn’t grow bored with himself because people who grow bored in their own company seem to me in danger, from a self-esteem point of view.” Me while reading this: why am I blabbering so much! damn you can really tell I suffer from codependency @Anra7777 True! I'm doing that right now too from attending and being active on different communities that can help me in any way and meet new peeps. I also had a heart to heart talk with my friends and told them what was really going on inside my brain and heart. While at the same going out of my way and doing my best at interacting with other people. There are always ppl out there who are good for you and are aligned with you in everything. Don't lost hope. AAHHHHH I WONT LOSE HOPE! @Cutter Masterson THIS ALIGNED WITH ME SO MUCH! I love this! This is some good shhhhtttttt
Ok, so I was actually really depressed and like this some while ago... So I'm someone who doesn't play with social media as much. Times that I actively contact someone is rare. Then when I came back to school I realized the people I was really close to suddenly don't seem familiar anymore. And when I go back to my history I realized how little there was. So I tried to reach out to them again. But nothing came back. As someone who was physically developing I sort of developed this mindset of "the world doesn't need me anyway" "don't need to invest that much, they won't stay anyways". At first it was an inferiority complex, then it became my world view. So I forced myself not to care. It was kinda sad really. This was until a report came in telling my mom about my "strange" behavior. I was really surprised because I was pretty confidant that I still maintained the basics of socializing to blend in to the crowd. And when my mom tried to talk to me I cried. It was so embarrassing, and she was horrible at comforting. But nevertheless I once again tried to reach out. Then surprisingly I felt better. It wasn't even much really, literally it was just to the point that someone would wave at me. Then a few days ago I received a message letter from an old friend but I didn't think much about it since they became pretty popular now. Until they Idk showed up at MY DOOR. We talked and I was kinda dazed because they said so many things that even I forgot. So I considered practicing human interaction, and what better place than the internet. Taking into account of the number of novels I read and not wanting to show my face, this account appeared. Humans are intelligent and individualized creatures. So they need acknowledgement of their existence. But compared to relying your happiness on other people. I feel that you shouldn't let them affect your happiness and acknowledgement of yourself. Try saying hello or moving a to make room on the bus. I agree a lot with what Cutter Matterson said and I suggest you to take enjoyment in the little things in life. Have you seen the Movie "Soul"? A person doesn't need a purpose to live, because life itself is a purpose. Ok, I feel like I said to much... But I do hope you get better.
I LOVE YOU, STRONG PERSON And I felt it so hard when you said you cried! I love the movie Soul,, I was so confused at first so I looked thru video essays and finally understood what it wanted to convey. It's so beautiful. Being here at this moment is so wonderful too. Cuz I get to interact with peeps like you
Different people deal with it in different ways, while some (like myself) don't even experience it at all. There's good answers in here, maybe you can apply little bits from these multiple perspectives to yourself. My own advice would be to ask yourself a few questions. What traits do you have that could make other people gravitate towards you? What are some shortcomings that could push people away? Capitalize on your strengths and work on/around your weaknesses, and the rest should come naturally. This very process might boost your self esteem to where worrying about other people's opinions would seem kinda silly in the first place
Life lesson #37: Relationships take work. You want people to notice and care that you're gone if you stop showing up, you need to actively and regularly engage with them. Hang out, spend time with them, share a hobby, shoot the breeze, whatever. You need to be there. And if you slowly stop being there, they'll get used to your absence. If you were never really there to begin with, then there's no absence to notice. Life lesson #37.5: People are fucking busy and you aren't the only person in their life. Them having other things to do and other people to hang with doesn't mean they don't care about you. Just that you aren't the only thing in the whole wide world they do care about.
I agree with Westeller here tbh. Like... If you want to have deeper and more meaningful relationships with people, then you need to regularly engage with them and show that you care. If I suddenly disappear from Gamefaqs, I know nobody will bat an eye, because I never made any meaningful relationship with anyone there. If I suddenly disappear from NUF/Discord, I know some people will worry because I established a relationship with them... Others may not even notice it because we barely interacted. That's just how it goes. You shouldn't fear nobody really caring if you disappear. If you've built a relationship with someone, chances are, people will care.