I forgot how this question goes, but basically, let's say that a friend of yours comes to you, crying or very depressed about something. Will you be the type to just listen and be there as an emotional support, or are you the type to actively identify the problem and come up with solutions? . As much of a contrarian or talker I am, if said person REALLY needs me to be there for them, I'd just listen and let them release their emotions. Always been the case when some random friend came to me to rant about their girlfriend or boyfriend.
Where is the both option?! *Sings I can do both, I can do both, I can be you beep beep....* Both; but it depends for me to take over the position of being a solver like— 1) If I feel not annoyed and lazy to give shit 2) If the person is important to me 3) Refer to 1 4) Repeated Drama on which I gave my advice before
Bet I can be good solver if I pay attention. But I often just lend an ear, literally, and nothing else.
Jeez! So demanding Fine Listener, I am a good listener ! P.s- where are my solver friends at sigh *Looks at the poll above*
What you do should depend on what your friend needs. If they're emotional then you should be a listener, and help them vent. If they're befuddled then you should be a solver and help them find a solution.
Let's say, for the sake of discussion, they're both equally emotional and befuddled. What course of action would you lean more towards?
Hmm it depends on the situation and the person for me if the person just wants me to listen then I'll lend them a ear but if they r looking for advice or want me to help solve their problem then I'll help that's how it is for me
just based on my personality I am the type to suggest and solve problems, I don't see much of a point in just listening to complaints unless I judge that I have no way of solving their issue or no good suggestions to make.
I'm a logical person, and I usually try to rationalize everything, (to the point that I can piss people off) so I'd be a solver I guess.
I'm a solver. If you want to solve her problems, sooner or later you will need to go to the root of her problems. Sooner the better.
Yeah, I was gonna start a new thread asking if you were a "heart over mind, or mind over heart" person. Now too lazy, though :b
Depends, half listener/solver if it's someone I haven't had that type of conversation with, mostly solver if we've had this conversation before, and around 75% mocking if we've had this conversation 4+ times. Usually I'll ask questions to find out details and let them explain it to me because people skip details that matter. Then ask if they tried XYZ to find out more details, it's partly inquisitive, partly solver. The more times we've had this conversation the more likely I am to bring up other people's(anonymized) to try and slow the conversation, help them realize shit happens, and let me exit it all. I've know this one woman through 3 of her boyfriends now, the conversations follow a fairly predictable pattern.
Solver, i.e. the irritating and over-familiar person whose opinion doesn't matter and who should just go die in a ditch for daring to be tone-deaf and offer his honest opinion.
I think more of a Listener. Some people just need somebody to vent to, and I don’t mind being that person. If a friend came crying to me because they messed up a project, the first thing I would do is let them vent it out while trying pacify them, and once they’re calm ask if they want me to intervene and help out or deal with it themselves.