How many here who read romance have ever been in a relationship?

Me too. Single since the day I was born. Reading romance novels makes my expectations high. I can like some one and if that person likes me back doesnt mean I will date him even though I like him. That's my mind set from reading novels. Before I get into a relationship I will put down my conditions whether he can accept them. Can't really say conditions but kinda say how this relationship will work if it happens. Because I only want S*X after marriage so I need to inform them that we will not do those things before marriage. and inform him if there comes a day he likes someone else. he can just tell me and we can break up. I wont be mad or angry or jealous just sad but I hope he can be honest to admit if his heart is no longer with me and I can freely let go. I dont think its cheating if he suddenly likes someone while in a relationship with me. but i think it's cheating when he starts being intimate with some one else while still with me. I hope my relationship experience with the person I like to be happy not sad or painful. even though I will be sad to break up but I will be happy for the person I like to be happy with the person they like then be sad being in a relationship with me.

Coming from a person that has no experience in love and has high expectations.

 

I'm married and even have a daughter xD

 

Omg my people are here I honestly have thought of going into relationship, it was not really powered by what I'm reading, but I ultimately have never been into one. I think my lack of lovelife actually stems from the toxic relationship all around me where I don't feel like creating that deep connection with anyone *ehem trust issues ehem*. And honestly I'm insecure. Also, even though I'm being pressured to get into a relationship, I feel comfortable being single. Good to know that I'm not the only one.

 

Well, there were novels meant to be realistic, the not too perfect ones and I find those relatable. Like the day to day struggles of two individuals on how to make their relationship last longer.

 

I have experience , my longest relationship being 2.5 years but been single for so long and reading these romance novels just increased my standards

 

Been in bed with girls, but never a serious relationship

 

I've never been in a relationship; I think it's my fault?? I love to flirt but when things get serious, I pretend to be misunderstood lol too much pressure and idk I feel frozen when it's no longer a joke

 

I'm very very afraid of uncertainty so it's not very easy for me to think about being in a relationship with someone. In novels though, it's pretty certain in romance ones that the male lead will be good to the fl, and fl to male lead. So even though I have a very nice romance story having me as the mc in my brain, i wont ever take an initiative to make such things happen. I'd like to pretend it could actually happen, hence, novels.

 

My thoughts exactly!
But as for the partner part, I want someone that could sweep off my feet instantly. I had crushes previously, I'm too into looks, but whenever the slightest possibility came to my mind that I might love them I rejected that notion. I don't think there will ever be someone for me if he doesn't sweep me off my feet at first glance, my brain will try to reject him before my heart could ache at the thought of him with someone else

I'm totally fine with being single all my life if I don't meet the ONE, but my mother wants 6 grandkids. I can only hope that my brother will find the one for him and take my quota for me.

 

What's in fiction will stay in fiction.
Mine didnot happen like in romance novel AT ALL

 

its still cray to me how many of my aged kids are rushing to get married. im still a couch potato gunna be reading novels and romanticizing irl till i die

 

9.5 years and counting. Married for 3. Love for me is not magical. It's comforting. It's more like cozy warm blanket rather than butterfly.

 

Sounds like you have a fantastic relationship. Love shouldn't feel like butterflies in your stomach because that is just anxiety but just like yours which is comforting and securing. Cheers to you and your partner!.

 

I think the longer than a year choice is a little confusing. a relationship does not have to last a certain time before it's considered serious.

 

Yes of course it could be.
But in regards to my question relating to novel if it couldn't last a year what's the point of it is what I thought of(unless you've been commited to marriage or lifetime companionship in less than a year of relationship). Could just be a nice memory but that's all it is and it isn't a condition that i can correlate to romance novel here which most likely is about a lifetime romantic partner or finding your soul mate.

I believe it is a good variable for me to be able to commit to an answer in my question. Not even people in 3-5 year relationship knows if they're serious about spending a lifetime with a person so I figured 1 year is good enough.

 

Right, thare are tons of people that I know who are not sure if they want to commit to their partner even though they already have been together for a decade, and some even have have children.

I honestly don't know how they think like that. Sigh.

 

A lot of factors such as parent's relationship, upbringing, insecurities, subconscious traumas, responsibilities, societal burden.

Some because they have children and needs to take responsibility, some because the society tells them making a family is the next step in your age. Some because they're lonely and needed someone but they're not confident enough to find someone else, thinks if they leave they might not get another partner, scared if the uncertain instability. Some people get influence by their parents who could have been miserable throughout marriage.

I also know people who don't want to get married but are fully committed to be lifetime partners. Marriage isn't the end goal but the partnership and commitment. Before, novels ends with the marriage of the characters as sign of commitment but Marriage isn't so sacred anymore, it's just another legal document that you pay the government, the church, both. Sometimes if the ending of the novel or drama doesn't state how they grow old together I think that this couple will probably just last 3 years and get divorce even though they're fictional characters.

What is more bizarre and questionable is seeing people having issues and knows they have issues but still are not fixing their own problems before going to a new relationship. They're destroying not also their own life but spreading their negativity to their partner, such as commitment issues, etc.

 

I havn't been a relationship ever. I want to but i think reading too much romance novels broke me, like my standards have become way too high