So I wrote a novel this is the link http://wbnv.in/a/5dh6tPJ it has only five chapters I want some people to check it to read it and i what to know if you enjoyed reading it and should I continue writing it I know that I have a bad grammar but I want you to read the novel for it story and tell me if you enjoyed it and it there are something that you didn’t like tell me so I can fix it
No JK, chapters short, too much unnecessary info, PUNCTUATION, grammar, sentence flow aka read it slowly and it sounds awful no offense. Overall a lot can be done. Don't worry though even professional authors who've written many books need to go over their prose/words and need editors etc to make sure everything reads well and comes together.- BTW that's just the prologue and half of chapter 1.... So an amateur like yourself is totally fine with have numerous mistakes as long as you try to fix them.
Thanks for the feedback do you have any suggestions for me to improve and you written no at first I really didn’t understand what you meant
So, I read your story. You need to edit it. It's unreadable in its current form. By unreadable, I mean that your word usage, spelling, punctuation, and sentence structure are all problematic. I can't just give you examples that will fix it, there are too many and on every single line of your story. Your content is unoriginal. Generic LitRPG. It's yours, so I am not saying you plagiarized anything, I just mean you aren't showing us anything original in the genre.
Thanks for your fedback actually I might hire a editor or use grammarly I don’t know what to choice and also about your second point thanks for point out to me I actually originally wanted to slowly introduce the power systems and develop three world slowly but now I think I need to rethink this novel I will rewrite it and prepare much more