I'm finally back in a Learning environment after taking many months off. But, because of social anxiety andnot interacting in a group environment for months, I'm very nervous about trying to interact with them even if we're all first years. I've so far responded normally but I'm constantly nervous on the inside. I really want to stick through this course but the group interaction and meeting with others just makes my anxiety skyrocket and makes me lose heart. Any tips to keep calm? (No, attendance is a mandatory requirement and there are no online lessons unfortunately)
Ahh go with the flow, its normal to have "1st day school anxiety"... smile a lot when talking to someone to make them feel you're approachable...
The old saying "fake it till you make it" comes to mind, but honestly i prefer just being the person i pretend to be... in otherwords, just be yourself and try not to worry about what others think. Hard i know, but if you master this technique, its totally worth it.
Most folks feel similarly on the inside but don't express it. I know a few folks who put on a professional poker face while screaming inside and running in circles. For some reason, when I realize that the other person is also anxious like me, I go into help mode. I feel less socially anxious and am more focused on assisting someone else who is experiencing similar emotions. Sometimes being simply friendly is all the other person needs. Maybe thinking that way will help you as well. Most of us are scared of little critters. We should cuddle to feel less scared.
I was the same. I was alone the first week-- with only the person from my old school that I hated from the bottom of my heart who happened to transfer to the same place as me, but thats a story for another day. After the first week I felt the impact of not having anyone you know in class. During performances and presentations the people who already had friends in the class would get more interactions thus making their presentation more fun, and they'd also get a lot of applauds afterwards meanwhile when loner me presents its just dead silence, maybe a clap or two out of their randomness. As you can tell it was god awful so I was determined not to stay this way. This is just from my own experience but what I did was just prompt interactions with my classmates. For some reason I first thought of making an airplane--like the complicated one not the one you made in your elementary days, I casually played around with it a few times and then the next day during a project one of the 'popular' guys asked how I made it. I didn't know to explain it and he was also just asking it passively so that opportunity just slid right off. Instead of discouraging me though it gave me the push I needed. I didn't stop there, I just continued to find ways to interact with people. You don't even need to force yourself to hold long conversations. Just interact. Like borrowing a pen, or asking what class is next, or asking what time it is or asking some things you don't understand about the task's direction. Sometimes others will even approach you themselves. Repeated interactions like that will make you and the person more comfortable around each other then it just plays out. You start having short conversations with them, maybe complaining about how hard the subject is or how strict the teacher is, then the flow just carries you yk? Now although I still can't talk to every person in my class like the others I'm already able to talk to at least 3 other people than that b. You can tell how much I hate her she made my life hell previously and almost made it hell again. Also you can find others who are just as awkward and lonely as you and make friends with each other. Thats what I did for the most recent guy I made friends with, for the first three days we actually chatted through messenger in class even though we were literally 1 seat apart (someone was sitting in that seat). You know what prompted it? I told a friend of mine who apparently is also a friend of his that our lunch bags are the same (unlike my previous one most of us here bring our own lunches because the cafeteria food here is just not it.) and he told him. He also encouraged us to talk to each other because we both didn't have anyone to talk to lol. Good job H.V. Goodluck on your journey comrade
Just sit around, keep calm and stick to yourself, don't get all clingy. Be there and interreact when you have something to say. No one will go up to your face and embarrass you for not talking- unless they're crazy. Eventually you will get comfortable and then naturally talk. Although this will give a bad first impression, at least you can talk to them eventually instead of being that one weird kid in the background.
Just remember, they're nervous too. Just more experienced with faking it. Extroverts are a rare breed. There are a lot more anxious introverts forcefully dealing with everyday social demands. That said, I really have no good ideas on how to get along. You just click with some people. We gathered together during the long pauses in between classes and researched/did some homework together in the computer room. And I frequently grabbed lunch with one of my colleagues. My effort into these interactions was to adjust my topics to common interests or to let the other person feel comfortable enough to share what they're enthusiastic about. Well, that was in uni. In highschool it was much, much faker. I basically chose a group of girls and asked them to go home together often enough, and also spent some breaks throughout the day with them. Learned their topics and contributed when they also interested me. I also wasn't cheap on compliments to the other girls, on things I found admirable about them - from outer beauty to drawing skills to fashion to grades. I just went by the rule that everyone enjoys being liked, so show you like them. Well, I did join that class one year after everyone had made their cliques. And had to leave my old class where I already had a few decent friendships, sigh. I have no clue how guys interact with each other. And my knowledge is outdated, like the budding age of the internet outdated. For all I know, it might be enough to trade tik toks now . But basically, most people don't feel like making an effort to get close to others. And if you do, you seem needy. But someone has to do something for something to happen. So I'm the type to extend my hand and I don't really care if 99/100 reject it. I've made some lasting friendships due to making the first step and seeking people out. Again, that's for female friendships. I know guys tend to be weirder and try to act all stoic all the time, so I can't give advice there. I haven't been in their shoes.
Find someone similar to you. I usually do that, then befriend them. That's one more friend and personally i feel less anxious with one more friend than none. Can solve many problems. But if you need to work in group, for long term i recommand you to try to interact as much as you can with them. Once you get used you will feel more familiar with them and get naturally less anxious. That's not easy work but still need to do that at some points. Good luck.
Y'know I started my on campus class too yesterday and I was super anxious, literally messed up almost everything, my voice cracked during class and I got to school late but really people around us care less than we think because we are made that way, we care more about ourselves than other people, just have fun and just don't reject social interaction unless it's the bad kind, you don't have to be super extroverted and don't have to force yourself in friend groups. My first day of class was really fun!! Even if it was so tiring to move around lol.
... I'm an extrovert and i probably have nothing to say much about this subject since i mostly do them intuitively lol, anyways i advise to just nod your head, smile, raise your eyebrows to show your interest and engaged with them, ask daily mundane things, maybe try to say something about a common interest among your peers, be it tiktok, some game, or this certain teacher y'all are fond of, conversation just naturally flows, always spot the similarity or differences and say your own experience, everyone likes to share their own experience and relate to someone afterall, the more common ground the better, so try to figure out the people who have somewhat same interest as you, or something similar within yourselves. First day... I wasn't nervous than i thought>.> Nor was i overly excited, i actually felt more nervous(not really) and excited the night before school starts but when i entered the school ground i felt neutral lmao, most of my classmates were shaking or were saying they were kind of nervous... Well i participated and even had to fake i was nervous orz, Idk, I'm more like.. lost? Idk where to start, but then i opened my mouth and i just started to slowly picked up my pace, immediately got close to 2 people, and now it's increasing more XD I'm proud to say I'm quite good at making friends, they always last quite long and they're usually great people on their own right XD, and usually a person that i didn't knew i needed (esp someone good at studying, someone with a great mindset and beliefs,.etc.) they were always someone that had a good influence on me.