Discussion death

I have a nice family but no job.. I live my days sleeping, eating and reading novels. I thought I would always be alone.. I never tried dating.. i didn't want to have children.. living by myself independently peacefully and alone has always been my dream life... but COVID was like a storm.. many people died of whatever age, health without any proper reason.. and death was shoved to my face like never before.. I imagined myself dying alone and I am afraid... if there is really an afterlife.. it is well and good but what if like science says we are matter and everything just vanishes... when I think that I have to face those things alone, all by myself it shakes me to the core... i can't close my eyes at night, afraid that I will disappear.. I am sticking to my mom.. going for light touches and hug.. looking for human warmth... I even thought about starting dating you know.. but I don't know if I will ever find someone....
I was thinking of focusing on the present but I said right reading novels is all I do.. and all those books about apocalypse, killing, gods, tower, reincarnation, and transmigration makes me more nervous..
I believed in SCIENCE but it is making me afraid... so superstition makes me nervous.. What if all those fiction novels are true and I am just like an extra.. getting killed right off the bat...
I don't know what to believe... and even if somebody told me about positive things.. it makes me hard to accept that ALL THINGS WILL END WELL..
when I read books about afterlife, higher beings, chakra, reiki, meditation and all.. i feel like these people are afraid of it like me and made those up to look forward to life..
I should get a job..

 

I'm not sure what this is but you should get a job so you can forget your problems because you're so busy
It's worked for me so you're fine!

 

Getting a job... Will help you.. It will help you till you are doing the job but ultimately you will have to face those questions. At old age or when your loved one passed away. I will recommend that you should get a job but also join some NGO which help many unlucky people's. Those people's have their own stories to tell and as you think you will begin to find your own answers. It will take time. I believe that your surroundings are too peaceful which is very good thing but this has also made your mind numb as you are reading the books which is theory, you have to go out and experience different stories.

 

“We are all alone, born alone, die alone, and—in spite of True Romance magazines—we shall all someday look back on our lives and see that, in spite of our company, we were alone the whole way. I do not say lonely—at least, not all the time—but essentially, and finally, alone. This is what makes your self-respect so important, and I don't see how you can respect yourself if you must look in the hearts and minds of others for your happiness.”

― Hunter S. Thompson, The Proud Highway: Saga of a Desperate Southern Gentleman, 1955-1967

 

I truly feel the same…
Having read so many books that the protagonists have to face after their death makes me wonder and afraid.
I’m especially afraid of my future as I’m nearly an adult. Afraid if I will be able to meet my parent’s expectations even if they told me to leave the money to pay for college to them, I just feel I don’t want to burden them. Afraid of how college will be or if I were to be accepted at all. Having my friends always telling me that I will be accepted as I’m a hardworking and smart person though I don’t believe that as I feel myself slacking off…
Sigh, sorry I just wanted to let it all out after reading your post as I feel the similar way.
Do what is good for you and find a job that you will benefit from and be comfortable at!
As I myself try to forget things and just enjoy my last year of high school

 

Srry I ran out of likes so
edit: likes came back~

I'll ask you a second question ig then. What if all those fiction novels aren't true?
When you strip off the OP systems, the plot armor, the main character halos from books like these, you can only see these kinds of novels as escapist fantasies.
You're right. These authors... they too, are afraid of the end.

But in the end, I strongly believe that all humans need to accept the truth that they will die. No system, elixir of immortality nor fountain of youth created from a stranger's imagination will save you from inevitable death. The distance between fact and fiction is as wide as Heaven and Earth. Memento mori
In the absence of death, anything and everything can and would only be done after all the time in the world has passed. So Death gives you a timer and tells you to finish what you want to do before the clock zeroes, and this bitch doesn't even tell you how much time you have left.
You are right in focusing on the present and you have a dream. Make small goals to help you achieve that kind of life. If you are unsatisfied with your current situation, make an effort to change it. I know it's hard. Procrastination is hard to overcome. Addiction is hard to overcome. Depression is hard to overcome. Loneliness is hard to overcome. But just make goals daily and in the scope of what you think you can accomplish, because two intersecting lines even a faction of a fraction of a degree apart can make a huge difference in the long run. Its not like im asking you to stop reading, but just make and abide by small changes over the span of months, years, and maybe you will come to accept yourself
it doesnt matter what you do. since you have a nice family, maybe tell your parents you love them if you dont usually say that. if youve sat at home all day, try taking a walk outside. if you havent tried journaling, try it out and maybe it could sort your thoughts out. maybe you wont find that someone in life, but surely a friend right?

im sure some religious person would find offense to this *coughs* <.<
Anyway, I think there is a striking difference between what separates those who actually (not bullshit) follow their faiths that have afterlifes and the wish fulfillment truck-kun isekais. They take strides in making the best of now because the belief in their afterlife doesn't stop them from acting in the present. There always exists this motivation to do better: are you following good conduct ordained by god? do you act in charity and benevolence? do you refrain from speaking evil? are you open-minded and accepting of people from all walks of life?
Getting trucked into an isekai tells you in chapter one that you're just an everyday highschool student nobody with a normal loner life and normal looks and in chapter two that youve died but not to worry, heres this new super cool totally broken and im definitely not playing favorites System cheat and off you go on your savior in another world fantasy and did i mention i raised your attractiveness and iq by 5000? dont worry, its on the house.

Look at yourself for who you really are in the mirror and take a fresh perspective on your current situation.
Sure you arent doing anything productive to society. Sure you aren't capable of being independent.
But its not like youve committed a felony, and youve realized that you cant just stay dependent. Youre not particularly straining your family's finances so youll have cushion in experimenting and finding work to do and things to improve.

It doesnt matter if you believe in an afterlife or in mystical energies or of a different faith. You are free to believe in whatever you want to believe, but never delude yourself into believing that you will be served salvation on a silver platter because everything will go downhill from there. Everything.

ill be here giving moral support (～￣▽￣)～

 

thanks for sharing.... we people are such that we get courage when we are together... i also wanted to let it all out when I was writing those things... may you enjoy a good life

I hope everything works out... *fingers crossed*

Thanks... really thank you.. i really needed it...

 

I want to thank you too, because writing out my thoughts on this helped me maybe as much as it did for you (✿◡‿◡)❤

 

More like people in the ages gone by were so familiar with death, disease, famine and piled up bodies, religions, at their geneses, had to come up with alternate values, that is, the soul and the afterlife, if they were to offer any value to the collective consciousness then. They recognised death as a fact of life, an inalienable part of it, a ritual, an acquaintance that might drop by anytime and were consequently (or so I would like to think) less afraid of it than the modern sensibility with its advanced medicine, ease of life and elongated lifespan, so estranged from death that it apprehends it as the great unknown, the ultimate but vague terror, moreso when it has lost its belief in the afterlife. Religion didn't add value to life; it merely transformed a 'meaningless' life into a deposit scheme for rewarding returns at the bank of afterlife retirement. But in this age of broken faith and scorned spirituality, existential crises render life meaningless and the afterlife non-existent. We have become both beneficiary and victim of science.

 

Well, in my "short" life, I found myself living by the mantra "Don't take life too seriously, you're not getting out of it alive". So, just enjoy life, get a job... or not..., find someone to love... or not... get happy, get sad, get angry, yell, laugh, cry, dream, despair, hope... in short, live life.
And at the end of it all... well... just do like everyone else: take a step into the Great Unknown.

 

Well if it will make you feel better. Speaking scientifically.
The law of conservation of energy states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed.
Einstein said it best-


https://www.youtube.com/shorts/qoUOwg5Lvj8

So even scientifically speaking you never just vanished. You just change. I hope this fills you with hope.

 

You should try making good friends able to offer you the companionship you seek before going headfirst into your first serious relationship. Real life ain't roses and rainbows sprouting from our turds, odds are that you will be taken advantage of one way or another if the other person gets a single whiff of weakness. Especially if you are a girl.

 

It all really comes down to what you want do, but…
I’ll tell you now. It’s worth it.
I was in your situation. My days we’re filled with novels. It was a wonderful time. Sure I have some regrets like relationships and activities, but it was still a wonderful life.
Unfortunately, I had to grow up. I saw what other family members did. They continue to live that life till their late thirties. I wouldn’t say I was lucky, but life sort of decided on its own. On what plans it had with me. In my early twenties. I am so glad it did. I look at these family members and wonder. What happens when the parents die. Just like so many others. Being independent is wonderful. I highly recommend it.
Do you know what career I went after was? It was as a Merchant Mariner. A sailor. Imagine a job you spend weeks or months getting paid to hangout and read. You can’t really do anything on a ship until you reach the next port. So that’s the career I went after. I was getting paid 4x or more than any other job out of highschool. I get paid to read. Hell Yeah sign me up.
I recommend being brave and taking a chance. It was the best decision I ever made

 

In as much as we don’t choose when we’re born we don’t choose when we die. The story never ended, just perspective.

Art is never finished, just abandoned. Vinci

 

I'm the opposite of you. I'm afraid of afterlife and rebirth. If I die, I want to just be gone. Forgotten.

 

When I die I want to…..get isekaid…..

 

Same, I just want to be one with everything
And forgotten.

 

Sounds like you need a purpose in life. And to find your happiness. Dating rarely helps. In fact, it usually worsens things. It's better to have friends who'll check up on you. Read up on Epicureanism, it might help.