Forgotten Title Looking for a book that I forgot the name of

There was a light novel that I used to read, the MC transmigrated a lot of times and he transmigrated into a young boy with a body that he considers trash so, to transmigrate again he keeps trying to sacrifice his life to the people around him but they keep him alive, in the (kinda) beginning he tries to give his life and explodes his arms to use blood magic, he gets them back later, you can consider him to be suicidal

 

Can someone reply to this? I’ve been intrigued by the synopsis and would like to read this as well

 

Is this BL? Can you remember if this is CN or KR (or might be JP)?

 

I don't remember, I have been looking for this for hours, I know it's somewhere, and that it's good enough for someone to look for hours