Not literally lol. Lost in life I mean. 19 years old, first-year college student. Taking accountancy (a course that I don't even like) and I'm barely passing my major. Hm, where do I start? I've been feeling depressed lately. I'm an achiever until college hits. My grades are fine tbh except for my major. I don't particularly hate accounting, it's just that I cannot bring myself to really like it. It's not like I have any other choice lol. I'm trying to like it though... I hope I'll like it. Aside from this, I'm also feeling lonely. I have friends, and they are nice but I don't have someone I can freely talk to about my feelings, someone who I can open my heart and my thoughts with. It's kinda suffocating? Maybe if I have someone to share these with, maybe, just maybe, my life would be much more bearable. The thought's kinda funny at the same time. To depend your existence on someone, to need someone this much as if I'm not whole by myself, but that's how I feel. I'm the eldest child so I'm expected to be responsible and mature. I've never been a kid at home so maybe there's this desire to be a kid with someone. I want to do something new and fun, discover things and such but I don't know where to start. I wanna go outside but I barely have any clothes to wear that will make me look pretty decent. My family's poor and we're just surviving now because of my relatives. I don't know how to explain my life, but right now, it feels pretty suffocating. On the other hand, all of these are just excuses. I know that we always got a choice and we can always look at things from a different perspective. That instead of feeling pathetic and miserable, I can choose to be grateful because I'm still here. Grateful for the little things and happenings in my life. That everyone lives their own life at their own pace and that I don't have to feel bad for myself just because everyone is achieving something or is happy about something that I don't have. I'm aware of these but I still mentioned my dissatisfaction just to let it out. So what is the purpose of posting this lol. First, I just want to vent. Second, do you know any hobbies or anything that I can try that might be enjoyable or helpful? Third, any life advice? Fourth, where can I find a boyfriend/girlfriend??????? Badly need one! I know that I might sound crazy and that the way I told my life's pretty confusing but that's it. And I'm not suicidal!!!!! I love my life so much just so you know, and I hope you love yours too.
Dude you’re 19, everyone expects you to be lost until you hit 30. You don’t have to love your major, as long as you can do it. It’s a job after all. As long as you don’t hate it entirely. Maybe get a hobby. Get used to feeling lonely. If it helps, emotions and friends are temporary. personally, I just enjoy my own thoughts, and refuse to share anything I find valuable. I changed a bit recently, but still. You don’t need to feel decent to go outside. You are confident to go outside. The thing about humans; as long as it’s a thought, it a possibility As for hobbies…. Maybe writing? Writing is a good way to express your emotions since all the characters come from yourself. I never noticed how many issues I had until I started writing.
Vent! Scream your heart out! Let your voice be heard! Don't let all those feeling bottled up inside, and let it out for the world to hear! There must be a reason why you choose accounting right? Maybe because your friend choose it too, parent expectation or something. If you don't particularly like it, then I suggest to just pay attention and read the book at class ( This might not work well if your college is one of those which encouraged self study if it's one then just allocated some time for self study). Or just take other courses. As for hobbies. Hmm, I recently got less depressed after my sister introduce VTuber to me. It's kind of fun in their own way. Maybe you would like it if you tried it?
ah~ so did you take accountant for sake it have broad work of possibility? because that what this cat know common occurrence among people with similar background~ accounting, tourism relate college, law... yes law be it civic or criminal (civic is more lucrative this cat say)~ anyway to make it bearable ya can pin part-time job to explore more potential future job~ you see as long as you have skill and will ya can survive~ as eldest child with similar background yes this cat been there~ ya need goal, a general one even sound silly if ya have general direction it make much better~ pick ya circle of friends carefully, its ok to hang with anybody but considering your situation it will help on medium or long run~ do thing that take your interest~ it can act as stress relief factor, make connections, you may gain unexpected skill or direction~ last resort keep blabbering online for sake keeping insanity point intact~ this cat kinda jealous people can connect internet with smartphones and such with hmmm reliable connection on general~ sure toxicity exist but meh nothing new, just change of medium~ hey getting lost in direction is ok~ don't forget search way that fit ya~
I don't have to love my major, that is true, but it would've been better if it's aligned with my interest or personality because interest is a huge factor that affects learning. Why do I sound like it's your fault tho HAHAHA. I'm a curious person and I like scientific stuffs and here I am, in finance. Yep, my fault lmao. Besides, I don't want to think of my major as a job. I don't want to live thinking like I'm destined to work for the rest of my life (even if it's really going to happen lol). I think life is meant to be enjoyed! Still, I'm in my second sem and I'll see if I wanna stay with accountancy! As for a hobby hmmmmmmmm. I have a wide range of interest! I mean, fields of study. I love reading so much. It's basically what I do most of the time. I'm confined at home and reading is like an adventure (just in my mind). Right now, I'm learning about machines and they're cool! If you have any hobbies that I might enjoy, feel free to share! I would love to hear about it! I don't think friends and emotions are temporary!!! We are by nature emotional and social. It's part of our system. I've watched a TED talk about being happy iirc and it says there that those who live a long life and happy are those with healthy personal relationships! I also thought that enjoying my own thoughts and keeping them to myself is enough. But then I realize that it would have been ashame to keep them to myself. I would love to tell others their beauty and how I find them amazing. It's enough to tell about them but the feeling is the best when the person you're telling them with listens and are interested. You keep to yourself even the most enjoyable and valuable thoughts, what more of those that makes you angry, hurt, and sad? Friend, don't bottle it up! We can be friends if you want!!! Also, I am confident!! It's just that clothes are also important to me. I've been wearing my younger sister's clothes over and over again whenever I go to school or to the mall or wherever. Style is something that boost someone's confidence. I know that we can manifest confidence in posture, actions, words and expressions alone but clothes are like armor! The more comfortable you are in them, the smoother your movement are! I think I have to earn money now... but it will take some time tho because we're not rich and that's definitely okay!! Yesss!!! HUMANS ARE FASCINATING. They can do the dumbest and the greatest thing at the same time. There's an infinite number of possibilities out there for us! How exciting! You know what, I also tried writing. I bought a thick notebook to write my thoughts and guess what? I'm never consistent to it LOL. I don't know if it's because I'm undisciplined but I'd like to think that writing a journal/diary is really not for me (even if it's in my computer). Planning and scheduling is also not my thing... Oh just to tell you, my mbti is either ENFP or ENTP. Does it even make any sense lol. BUT I like typing about lessons I'm interested in. Like right now, I have a document about machines. I really appreciate your message!!! Thank you very much. What I said above might not apply to you and they're just also my perspective. Sharing my thoughts is really fun! We can be friends if you want! Oh, no one's expecting me to take accountancy nor did any of my friends choose it! It's just that, I don't have any particular interest that I want to be committed to. I'm interested in a lot of things but that interest is not enough for me to look for the corresponding course in college and sit my butt in class for the whole four years or even five. My relative is an accountant abroad and she's making a huge sum out there and money just bling bling and shines in my eyes and lol, imma take accounting and now I'm miserable HAHA. Well, not really miserable, I'm happy now. My mood last night just swings left and right. I love collecting accounting books tho, just collecting them lmao. Fascinating how I'll be able to understand those in the book sooner or later, in the near future. Recently, I've been thinking about shifting to industrial engineering and my friend virtually slapped me lmao HAHAHA he's taking mechanical engineering in a school I'm interested in and there's no pre-calculus, just straight-up calculus and as a humanities and social science student, I think I'm digging a grave for myself if I'll take that path lol. But I'll see to it! Ohhh VTuber?? I think I saw some? Are they the animated black-haired guy with read clothes and the other one is violet or purple? Sho or something is the name? Are we on the same page??????? Can you tell me more about themmm? I think they're funny too (if what I'm thinking is correct lol). Thank you for your advice, I appreciate it!!!! I heard accountancy is important and that it won't be hard to find a job because any institution or entity that requires financial information will need an accountant. A relative of mine also told me that it can be pretty lucrative depending on chance and your ability I think. As for part-time job hmmm my course is pretty demanding, mostly right now that we have three majors. I don't think I'll be able to go for a part-time job for now nor am I thinking of doing so. As for a goal, I'm like a wandering soul lol, aimlessly drifting. My goal is just to actually enjoy life or maybe I'm just too self-indulgent. But I would love to try living on my own. Maybe it's one of my mini-goals. The big goal hmm, live a comfortable life! Get out of poverty!!! And for my friends, I'm not just befriending with anybodyy! I have more or less 10 friends that I've been in contact with since high school. We barely talk with each right now aside from the other two but we are just as close as were in the good old days! Yess talking online is helpful, look at me right now lol. I've been able to vent my feelings and thoughts. Something just trigger me last night to feel miserable (lmao). I saw a close relative of the same age being a dean's lister. I'm happy for them and not happy for myself. Just highlight how much I failed this first semester. Ey, my jealous and envious nature is coming out and I feel like playing Olivia Rodrigo's jealousy, jealousy. But then I realized how dumb I am because we're not even studying the same course LMAO. Ay, no one is so capable of making us feel this miserable aside from ourselves lol. Maybe getting lost in direction is also a good thing, a blessing in disguise. It's because in moments of unknown and uncertainty that we find the most unexpected and even wholesome things and opportunities. Thank you so much for your advice, really appreciate it!! Hope you get enough cat food!
You said you were interested in science, im curious are you interested in the process (like question, hypothesis, experiment ect) or the actual science like how a vector has has both size and direction? In the first definition, you can apply that to anything you learn. Like, "is there a way to make this more efficient? Is there a shortcut that they aren't teaching us? Why do we have to do it with these steps? Could I take a detour?" You can always ask why. Its just where you want to stop asking 'why?'. Or your education level could be problematic (which is usually the limiting reason- they don't teach some things until post graduate). In the second definition, you can just read a textbook. Its not as exciting as having a lecture, but its still decent. There are a ton of great textbooks and scholarly papers that you can find. I made 2 blogs on this website, which just contains how to set up equipment for certain experiments for every scenario. The other is just a list of websites to find organic synthesis. Either way you can apply both of them to accounting. Accounting is about manipulating numbers using different techniques. You can ask your professors on different textbooks, or even create your own techniques for yourself and talk to your professors about them. Professors are literally a treasure trove of knowledge and experience. Its a waste not to talk to them (although you will have some really bad ones). If you want some clothing, try finding some clothing drives. When I went to college yesterday, I found a clothes drive without even looking for it. I'm sure if you ask you college they will tell yo uwhere to find a clothes drive. Here, its required by law to have one. Or you can search on the internet if there are any close by you. ALso my interesting ideas are more related to writing a story and characters/plot. I used to be a "philosopher" when I was younger but now I just don't really care.
You can enjoy life if you have money. Finish what you started so you can earn money earlier. Just because you took accountancy doesn't mean you can't work in another or related field. Maybe even do a passive business on the side that is related to your interest. What you need to know if your goal, then you can care about your interest or things you're passionate about. Set a specific goal, no matter how impossible it seems, just set it and firmly believe on it and the rest will follow. Just don't lose focus, Im not sure if a relationship would be beneficial for you right now though, because just being with someone will really not address your need to feel like a child or pampered, could backfire for you really badly if you yourself doesn't even have your own interests, sometimes it'll make you more problems and even make you feel lonelier than it normally is. Know yourself first, understand how you are and how you'd want your future to be like, then work on your present. I graduated college when I was 19(I started school early and took a lot of advance classes), being really young, I was lost too, my focus was on academics and making my mother proud but that was it. I didn't know what I wanted as I've always been sheltered. I just did what's expected for new grads, took an internship, went to work. Unexpected things happen(pandemic), career ruined, relationship ruined, have to plan again, was lost once again, and now, my career is different from my degree and way more flexible. I learned a lot, like not being too stiff with your plans, and under how it might not work but don't lose focus on your goal. If something failed, then you can try it in a different way, there's no just one right path. My goal is simple, it is always income base (I'd earn $______ by this year, etc) because I've always like money, it gives you freedom. Could be different for some like being able to go on vacation on some country, etc. Find something to motivate you and use any means to get it.
I agree that money is important to mankind's happiness, especially today (though you can also enjoy life without money). Just realized that I'm being a drama queen, acting as if it's the end of my world if I continue to see any accounting-related stuff lol. I've never thought of starting a business but I'm trying to get into some things that might be helpful for me in the near future like learning more about excel, manners, and more. I'm also getting in touch with reality, in the sense that I'm trying to appreciate and enjoy the little things I do at home (the chores and all) because I've thought of them as a burden but I'm trying to fix that immature mindset of mine. Eldest of the three and my mother's gone years ago so it's pretty much on me, and I'm working on my way of seeing things. Set a goal. That's pretty hard. What do I even want? I just wanted to live a good life. Though I have some mini-goals that I want to achieve til my late 20s. I've been talking about finding a partner lately and I'm very much aware that it's just boredom hitting me. I do not welcome any serious romantic relationship rn in my life (too young to be committed and I can love myself better than anyone else). It's always the present moment that we have power over! I will really work on it so that the future me won't think that I've wasted my time. I also love money!! I'm glad that you've learned a lot from your experience and thank you for sharing them with me! Too caught up with the idea that I should figure out my life today or else I'll be miserable tomorrow. Life is not just about discovering the world and yourself but is also a process of reconstruction, relearning and rediscovery! The first one is pretty interesting! Never thought of it that way. Thank you for the idea! I'll see if I can make myself more invested in accounting and at the same time, make it easier for me by asking the whys and hows. I've never asked the question why before in accounting, that's how much I'm uninterested in it. Now that I have to stick with it then might as well do my best to figure sht out. I like the actual science! I'm reading a book right now called The Way Things Work by David Macaulay. It's interesting! Stumbled upon that book when I was looking for mechanical engineering ones. As for vectors, I remember being addicted to them because of Accelerator from A Certain Magical Index. Didn't watch that anime but I found vector manipulation cool. Now that you've reminded me of it, I will look into it again lol. Also, accounting is not about manipulating numbers using different techniques. I'll be damned and jailed if I ever tried to manipulate it lol. It's more on analysis. If you cannot analyze the situation/problem properly then you'll get the wrong numbers and wrong numbers mean wrong answers and wrongs answers will lead to failure, and in the actual application of accounting, it simply means that incorrect information will be reflected in the financial statements and the business will be in chaos. Though I agree that I have to talk with my professors more because they know a lot. Kinda sucks sometimes that they are expecting more from students when they don't even teach properly. I guess I have to discover things myself then (lots of resources out there). This is my first time hearing about clothes drive!!!!! Another useful information!! Thanks for that! Ohhh you're a writer? I found artists and writers to be the most impressive. They can literally bring their thoughts to life, such talent is brilliant! Are you losing interest in it?
If you’re feeling lost, a goal is a great way to start. While enjoying life might not be they type of goal you’d see from a goal-setting book, it’s far from being self indulgent. I personally think that humans live to enjoy life! If you see someone making a goal to get good grades or something without internal or external pressure, it means it’s for their own sake, for them to enjoy a better life in the future! If you’re making enjoying life a goal of yours, you’re on the right track. You just have to break down more into that goal of yours a bit more. Picking up a hobby, or even surviving this semester are all goals that can lead you to enjoying life, even if they aren’t specific. Speaking of hobbies, I find blogging a pretty inexpensive and free choice. A free tumblr account will suffice, and you can post about anything from your daily life to your studying progress. Being lost is normal, and the part where you don’t really understand where you’re going in life will eventually pass, even if it might take a very long time. Like you said, live in the present! While this could be irresponsible advice, 19 is the age where you live and learn to regret when you’re 30. Everyone is bound to do something they’ll regret, so try something new! It’s hard to do something different when you’re lost and stuck in a loop, but I hope you’ll find your breakthrough. This is an entirely different topic, but it’s interesting how I view accounting compared to people who actually study it. I remember back in business class our teacher told us that accounting is subjective, and I never understood how he meant by that (since he sucked at teaching) but you’ve helped put it into perspective very well. I was never good at analysing which values belonged in which categories, and sometimes I even messed up the debit and credit and had to use a cheat sheet to help. The format of the different financial statements were also a pain to remember. Just by studying it, you’re doing something I find amazing. Whether you’ll find something you’re more interested in or keep pursuing accounting I hope you’ll stay happy with your life.
Does your university have General Education requirements? I found my major due to a Gen Ed course that I really loved. You might also want to consider IT, since it is also needed at every company, earns decently, and is more "sciencey" than accounting, but the math is less rigorous than engineering. For money, does your university have student work programs? Maybe you can help at the tech help desk, or the library, or the dining commons. Working at the University will give you more flexibility to schedule around your course load, and the schedule is based on the student schedule. As for dating, I recommend finding a couple good friends first. If you are feeling lonely and disconnected in your platonic relationships, then you risk relying too heavily on your romantic partner for connection. That's tough on your partner, and it also opens you to the risk of staying in or being attracted to an unhealthy relationship due to loneliness. The one things that abusive relationships have in common (and the reason it's so hard to leave them) is a deep all-consuming connection. Frankly, they feel great - except when they don't. So having a good support network of friends you can really talk to is a protection against unhealthy relationships. For clothes, you probably already know about second hand clothing stores, but you can also do a clothing swap with friends. Bring some clothes that don't quite fit right, or that are in good condition but you're sick of wearing, and ask your friends to do the same.
Thank you very much for these kind words! Indeed, we live life at our own pace. I was worried because I saw my peers doing successful and productive things, and that put me under great pressure and thought that I should be at their level too. I was too focused on figuring out my whole sht that I forgot to live life in the present. I also forgot that maybe these people, in reality, are struggling as much as I am and maybe, at some point in life, they too, felt that they were lost. Actually, in junior high school, we had an accounting-related subject and I never understood what my teacher has been discussing until now that I'm studying the course. I'd like to refer to my relationship with accounting as a love-hate relationship lol. One moment I'm brimming with ardour and in another, I feel like shifting to another course bgfsdjgfksf. I actually find accounting easy (REALLY SELF??). I mean, if I just devote myself to it lol. And throughout my contemplation (lol), I guess the hardest and easiest part of my life or any aspect of it is starting do to something I've been meaning to do. I suddenly remember the doctor from the kdrama, It's Okay To Not Be Okay, he said that the first step is always the hardest and that once we've taken the first step, things will proceed smoothly or will be easier from then on. Whether it's starting to like accounting, starting to open and read my books, or starting a new hobby, a new routine or an assignment, it's always the starting part that seems so hard yet so easy once we get into it. We have general education subjects! I don't particularly like any subjects tho (well, I guess for now). IT and Tech-related courses like web dev, software engineering, etc., are programs that can probably give someone a lucrative job but programming is not my thing. I tried learning programming in an application called Mimo and I only survived for one night. I can't imagine myself studying it for years or even doing that job for most of my adulthood's days. As for working in our school, there may be opportunities but I am a regular student and my schedule's pretty tight. I also have to attend to matters at home like taking care of my little sister. Though working can really provide me with money that I can use for my necessities but for now, I still have to think about it. I guess I have to be content with what I have right now. I have great friends! They're my friends since junior high and they are wonderful people. I just thought that it would've been better if there was only one person I can freely share these things with and also someone who I can trust. I guess that kind of connection is not something that will suddenly pop out of nowhere. Imma play Flowers by Miley Cyrus then. Thank you for the clothing idea!!!! And thank you for your advice! I really appreciate it! Have a nice dayyy
Omg this is literally me. I’m the oldest sibling too, and I probably matured too quickly. Last year was my first year in college and I was an engineering major. And it was okay, but I didn’t love it and I couldn’t stomach the thought of a career in it. I felt like a failure for not wanting to do something my family was so proud of me for. So I just thought about what I liked and loved to learn in high school. The answer was history. So now I’m a history major (and also marketing as a backup plan). I’ve learned you gotta find what you love, even if it takes a while. Cause I mean come on, people expect 18 year olds to decide what they want from life and not deviate from it at all? What a joke. In your case, I’d recommend you think back on things you like or like to do. If there’s nothing, do something you wouldn’t normally do and get out of your comfort zone. It ain’t fun at first, but if you’re introverted it can do you good. As for the relationship thing, if you find the answer to that let me know cause I have no clue lol
If it helps, I'm 35 and have had a few career changes. I know a lot of other people who have changed careers too. You're not deciding what you want to do forever, just what you want to do next. I recommend deciding what you want to study based on what you enjoy studying. Then pick your first "career job" based on where you want to be for the next 2 years. After 2 years, reassess. If you're miserable before the 2 years is up, then reassess sooner. Aside from having kids, which is a forever choice, you should never feel like you have to make a decision for more than 5 years in the future.
What field of engineering? Can you tell me more about engineering? Been considering that field but I'm still hesitant... This hits me so much. Thank you for this reminder!
It was civil engineering. I guess a very basic way of explaining it would be following the directions of a Lego set. Architects dream it up, and civil engineers have to figure out how to make it. They deal with the design, construction, and maintenance of public works such as roads, bridges, canals, dams, airports, sewage systems, pipelines, structural components of buildings, and railways. There’s a couple other kinds of engineering as well; electrical, environmental, structural to name a few.
Any advice before taking engineering in general? Or that, what should one expect from this course and if whether one is suitable for it or not?
You have to like math, or at least be willing to work at it, cause Calculus 2 is scary stuff and it just gets harder from there. Besides that, the only other “requirements” that come to mind are that you can work well with others and like engineering stuff. All the other things can be learned later
*gasps* Our story have a lot in parallel, it's scary. You're super strong, though! You've really done a great job considering the situation It's okay to feel unsatisfied with your current choice (of accounting). After all, this might be the best possible course of action in your previous situation. Need precedes want, and you might need to hold on for a while . Idk how's it at your place and your current situation, but the uni in mine was rather...expensive, and change of major will incur additional expenses and thus, requires extensive consideration. If it's not possible, I suggest to think of your current major as a leverage that you need to make your first step in job and fill your CV. Think of it like drinking a very bitter coffee to stay awake for an overnight project. You don't have to like it. After gaining a stable income and decent cv experience, go wild, choose things that you like!! There's nothing like too old for learning I understand that you mentioned working in your school is an opportunity but quite hard to come by. How about internships? It'll be a plus point at your cv, and you'll gain a real career experience. I understand that you do not see accounting as a long term career choice. Internships will be like a short-commitment experimentation — you get to see if things are really like what you imagined, and you get some industry-specific real information to chart your next course of action, which might lead you to discover opportunities that's not exactly accounting related, but adjacent to it, and who knows you might like it. Plus, you'll gain a lot of connection too! You might want to look up for remote internship, or ones that's open at your summer vacay. Ok i might stressed on the importance of building your cv, but hear mee out I have a lot of friends who rediscovered their passion after college and got accepted to an otherwise closed door bcs of their previous qualifications. When you demonstrated that you have ample experience in internships, working and organization, some opportunities that previously closed due to your specific qualification might be more welcoming! Good luck and hang in there!!