4 minutes ago I texted my friend that we should end our friendship and told her why. 2 minutes ago she said sorry and agreed. I feel like a burden lifted from me and it's only been 5 minutes. We have gotten distant from the past few days as she was "hoping" to other classmates and talking to them which I didn't mind of course. But our interactions gradually decreased and I felt like I am the only one holding onto the friendship. I have been having it rough these days due to some personal issues and this friendship was just making me mad. I don't know why but I can't recall my memories with her right now. It's just blurry and almost nothing comes into mind. I feel no sadness or feel angry, I just don't feel anything which right now is making me feel guilty shit. maybe I should have given her more chances. anyone else who has broken their long time friendship?
I may be the "passive" friend, but I am no "hopper". Sadly, no one apart from me is aware of this invaluable trait of mine.
Not me but underclassmen of mine broke their friendship cause of toxic relations, underclassman A was boy crazy to the detriment of those around her while underclassman B got tired of taking A's side whenever A looks for validation for her actions. Me? I'd just ghost my friends and pretend dead, no farewells or goodbyes
I have. There's two kinds. 1) Sometimes you outgrow your relationships. Life, time, and distance come between you and it's harder to relate to one another. It's nobody's fault. 2) The relationship becomes toxic. Somebody develops a drug habit, becomes an incel, only wants to see you if they want something. I have no answers. I just wish them well. Maybe we'll meet again. Or not. BTW, I have *never* been mature enough to tell them face to face (which I hear is what you're supposed to do) let alone tell them at all.
Hmmm. I don't think I've ever broken off a friendship. Sure, some have faded with time, but I don't think it's ever been to the point of essentially "breaking up." Sometimes you need to just let the people in your life go and grasp the opportunity for both of you to grow. Once you've calmed down, I hope you can reflect on the good times you have had with that person. I think friendship of 7 years has likely produced some good memories (if there really isn't any good memories, then it probably wasn't really a friendship). Just value the good memories, and encapsulate those in your mind rather than the bad ones. You might not talk to each other again, but that doesn't mean you have to have a bad taste in your mouth whenever you think of them in the future. IMO it's better to value the relationship for what it was rather than how it turned out. It's healthier for you that way, anyway.
Last year i tried to make lots of friends and i eventually made. But i didn't really enjoy hanging out with bunch of people and trying so hard to make small talks. Talking to them all day online just to remain as friends and not studying at all, my grades droppt gradually. As time passes i realized that it doesn't letting me go anywhere So i stoped trying so hard to socializing with a lot of kid who dont give me damn and i started to enjoy myself alone and with my friend who makes me smile every day.
Are you saying you broke a 7-year friendship because she spent a few days being friends with other people? I don't know the full context, but I can't help but feel like that might be a bit hasty...
ah I guess that does sound hasty. I will explain it properly. Spoiler: The Situation From the past months (I think 5-6 months?) our interactions were decreasing. Didn't think much of it because in every friendship of course there are some times everyone is kind of far but we eventually get back again. In our case it didn't. I was waiting for her, thinking she will be talking to me passionately like we always did. She didn't. She kept going to others, I tried talking to her but she was always "busy" with others. We are actually a trio with another friend of us (to not confuse you, Lets call this friend S and the friend that I just broke friendship with L). I met both of them 7 years ago when I moved to their colony and we both became the trio. Both S and L are best friends which sometime made me feel left out but I didn't mind it that much I guess. Last year both S and L another friend A came back to the colony. The three S , L and A were friends 10 years ago until A moved away. I don't know the details but I guess they were close(?) tho when A came back both L and S were talking behind her back with me. I just thought we had another friend so I didn't think much about their talks. a few weeks later us four kinda became friends (I was and still not that close with A but I think we can call each other friends). Both L and A got along and joined a tuition together strengthening their friendship. I didn't think much of it. But eventually L started talking to others and reduced her interactions with both S and me. This was going back and forth, sometimes we were back as we originally were or sometimes we were as distant as stranger. Last month the stranger episode became so large that S had enough of her shit and decided to confront L about this for which L apologized and they got along again. I on the other hand decided to give her a chance. I know L has some trauma and is bad at maintaining a balance in a life so I guess I am soft on her. I was basically her therapist and gave her advises. I gave her advises when she and S got into a bad fights or whenever she needed help. As previously stated, I am having it rough from the past few weeks and I am in a very bad health both mentally and physically. And I was getting tired of L just coming up to me whenever she needed me, I kept getting irritated because of her presence alone. I might have also kinda acted rude because of this and ignored her these days. Idk how but today I got the courage to end this. I honestly don't feel sad or angry. But the memories we made were good but I will not cherish them. I just keep getting irritated now whenever I think of her. Maybe it's good I ended things before we reached a stage where I had started to hate her.
Ah, in that case, breaking off the friendship sounds more reasonable. Idk if I would've done the same thing if I were in your position, but I can certainly understand why you did what you did. It might suck now, but life goes on. Friendships will end and new ones will be made - it is the way of life.
I'm glad you feel better after doing it. You're not at fault, it just didn't work out. I would tell you not to feel guilty except that won't help and it'll fade from you eventually anyway. Anyway, the answer is yes. A friend of mine used to drive drunk a lot even though me and other friends in our social circle kept trying to get him to stop. He wouldn't and I got sick of his attitude so I cut him out of my life. He later got into a head-on collision while drunk driving and while luckily nobody was killed, both him and the people in the other car ended up in hospital for a while.
Anything that is good for your mental health isn't a wrong thing. I kept ending friendship and now I don't have friends, no regrets. Jk, I do, just one I've been talking to, recently formed. For some reasons, people I met always have things they want from me and only wants to be with me when they need something, some uses me for free food, some for school projects, etc. Since then, I became scared of forming friendship and be use and scared of having nothing to offer and be discarded. So now I hold no expectations and offer nothing, if they want my company then they can stay if not then go.
I not only have ended my 4-year-old friendships but also my 15 years of relationship with my paternal family. It feels awful at first, the memories are there. but then after realizing that they are not even trying to amend anything, trying to know why not even trying to reach out, I realized that I was the fool all along. If they are awful and toxic, only want me to boost their ego, give them comfort and then throw me away like trash, why should I care? I don't know much about your situation but don't let this matter hand over your head. The good memories will always be cherished like a dream I can't quite recall. But the people are repulsive,
I have a lot to say but I won't. Because you and many would obviously not like them. But tbh if you don't feel anything except comfort after ending your relationship with them I'd say no need to feel guilty. Just move on because it seems to me that they already have.
I don't think I even have an epic episode where I break off relationship with my friends. In my case, no one say anything, everyone just drifted off to their own calling in life, including me. We don't talk nor chat for years to come. But, if fate let us met. We will talk about how silly we are as a child and talk about our current life and goal for the future. When tomorrow come, we return to our respective life and didn't talk again until a chance appeared. That's just how life is to me. For me, while we might not met or even talk to each other for a long time. I believe that we are still friend in the depths of my heart.
I just recently broke it off with multiple friends, actually. I practically grew up with most of them, but they just weren't the type of people I wanted to be around. Also, I wanted to let go of them. Having them around never affected me positively, so I thought those relationships weren't worth my time.
I have broken up with all my friends when I was going through a bad phase in my life . Four years later I m happy I did that as this helped me to broaden my thinking and be away from toxicity.
well. breaking off a friendship because you grew apart is far better than breaking off a friendship that had splintered from anger, mistrust and betrayl. shit could have been worse