Hector • 2 years ago
Oh and next time you write a shitty story about single moms, try and make the man you are looking for the center of attention and what YOU have to offer HIM; what's in it for him? Nothing much when I read it. This whole article is self centered. Me, me, me and I, I and I. That is all I read. Why on earth would any man take this piece of self centered and entitled crap serious?
I was wondering about the point of the whole thing then I read that comment you're quoting… hahaha but the rest of the comments are very harsh and unjustified I think. @lychee
What this makes me wonder though, is how exactly does a relationship appear between the kid and the new partner of the single parent. It would sound a bit artificial if the bond is merely a result from the love between the two persons.
hm, I think part of it reflects people at different stages in their life (and different levels of maturity). An 18-year-old dating has different priorities than a 40-year-old dating. As you get older, I feel like relationships are less about obsessing and dedicating 100% of your life to your partner, even though young people tend to think that way.
That hector's second comment about rejecting single parents out of the lack of desire to raise a kid does makes sense, but still I think a lot of people, if only subconsciously, would want a kid anyway.
@lychee how does that article describe that? I didn't get that feeling at all… I get your point though but I think it's more a matter of detachment that comes with age for a lot of reason (the distance existing between people that grows, etc) rather than a general thing.
Ah this makes me kinda imagine what a relationship would be like where someone acts as a kid's parent without having a romantic or no relationship with the single parent. That could work too and make sense!
Also I realise those comments, by calling it irresponsible to have gotten a kid to become a single parents, are really stuck on the idea that a kid should only exist between two parents but heh, there's really quite a lot fallacy to retrieve here.
I don't think that it is irresponsible based on the idea that a kid should have two parents for the sake of it more than those who have one are more likely to be impoverished and to commit crimes later in life. A kid should have 2 parents is more of a religious view than fact though it can be argued.
Oh, it wasn't expressed by the article at all. It's just my evaluation. The author is... "early twenties"? This is still the age where people are eager to be hitting up bars and clubs. Marriage isn't the goal of everyone at this point. A single mom is a huge commitment, just like buying a house is a bigger and scarier commitment than renting an apartment.
Ooooh I misunderstood you haha, I thought you meant the older you grow the less you want to be dedicated. Actually I feel like the older people grow, the more they want a security in the relationship and commitment they'll force through marriage and the like.
Mhm, the way I meant it, is that as you get older, I think people tend to gain other priorities in life. When you're newlywed, you think spouse is your "everything" (or expect it to be that way). When you're 45, if you gain a kid or two, maybe your kids end up more important to you than your spouse. And this isn't restrained to moms. Many dads can feel this way too.
Well most religion does say marriage is for the purpose of bearing and raising kids, so definitely affects a religious person's view
Edit: may want to say some as that would be entering territory I don't want to go again after saying 'most'
Ah yeah actually when I think about it, that hitting the bars and clubs thing is kinda just being irresponsible? I don't think it's got much with age but rather being wise albeit that often comes with age and experience only.
Haha guess you guys missed the thread I started because a comment was too long to post here. @Darkwood although I am a Christian and could be considered bias, research by atheists have shown that kids need both male and female role models. Females without father figures usually end up in abusive relationships with older men.
Marriage is not a religious construct, it's a sociological and psychological construct that is important for the overall health of a child.
That is why I don't consider the comments that harsh.
If the child was younger and can be adopted it has a positive impact. Korean marriage registry system comes to mind.
Some guys seemed bitter from plain old misogyny while others had seemingly true stories from personal experience. Stories can be fake or people see what they want to see though due to a bad break up
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