Yandere is a character, usually a girl, who fits the archetype of being genuinely kind, loving, or gentle, but suddenly switching to being aggressive or deranged, often homicidally so. *wiktionary* @Kalto
Because a yandere is usually a girl who would love someone too much or as @shouahang58 said "love you with every shade of my heart", when a yandere takes an interest in someone, she will make sure that 'usually' guy is hers and hers alone, if he is in a relationship, a yandere will go as far as killing the person who is in a relationship with her crush, she will do anything to please or crush
if her crush says that she isn't his type, she will do everything in her power to become his type, be it appearance or acting the character, if he still says no or cheats on her, she wouldn't hesitate to kill him and be happy with just his corpse, or in certain cases, cut his head and put it in her bag, so they can be together forever, to summarize, she simply wouldn't take a 'no' for an answer
Ah, Kalto guy, a yandere is much more than that. It may seem that most of them are selfless romantics, but no, most of them are selfish crazies. The happiness of the ones they love comes second to satisfying their desires, even when it inconveniences said person they "love". It's an obsession.
But it is the truth in most cases. Note that one of the main reasons as to why yanderes are what they are is because of their unhealthy possessiveness.
Yes they want to be the only one for their crush, which push them to do what they do, they will do everything in their power to please their crush as I said but that is within limits, as certain actions that the crush might do can be perceived as attempts of disloyalty or cheating and that will make them go to some extreme lengths to be the only one for him,
if you read something else then that is probably because of a bad application or interpretation of the character, a yandere's most important person is their first priority, however, they will act on their personal beliefs thinking that is the best of interest for the crush
"they will do everything in their power to please their crush" That would have been sweet if they weren't so unempathetic. Most yanderes in fiction are romanticized as these cute or handsome individuals that consider their possessiveness to be a unique quirk, but that really isn't the case in real life.
"Yanderes" are typically self-centered, so they would rather have the things around them to change for them rather they change themselves. Their possessiveness is a result of their selfishness, so it's not that much of a surprise. Not to mention they, more likely than not, have a mental illness.
It's hard to find a realistic interpretation of such a character in fiction since the reality isn't really well-received, but a good example would be the two main girls in school days.
I don't agree with everything you said (but reality wise, that is true), and since I am not sure of what kind of works you are basing your opinion on, then let me mention some works for proper reference:
Monogatari series/Sengoku Nadeko, Hitagi Senjougahara
Mirai Nikki/ Yuno Gasai
Elfen lied/ Lucy
Higurashi/ Shion Sonozaki
Jojo/ Yukako Yamagishi
Me? Lie? I will not stand to bear such slander. It's not my fault that the truth is much sadder and much harder to accept than you all realised, it is perfectly understandable, though.
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