Novel ✪ Memory Corruption (R-18) (Book 1 Finished) (Book 2 on release)

Discussion in 'Community Fictions' started by GiBro, Jul 2, 2021.

  1. Isobel

    Isobel Active Member

    Joined:
    Jul 3, 2021
    Messages:
    18
    Likes Received:
    63
    Reading List:
    Link
    I know this wouldn’t be true to Belle’s character but I was secretly hoping she was going to come out of that meeting with Andrew’s and say to Desmond - you’re right, she is a b. :ROFLMAO:
     
  2. beewink

    beewink Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 25, 2021
    Messages:
    63
    Likes Received:
    126
    Reading List:
    Link

    Definitely sounds like he is talking about After by Anna Todd. Its the only book series i know of by that name that was made into movies. Hardin is the male lead. Quotes aside the plot is NOTHING like your story. I read those books. You should be fine going forward, no worries
     
  3. GiBro

    GiBro Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2021
    Messages:
    231
    Likes Received:
    732
    Reading List:
    Link
    Thank you, it soothes me a lot :love:
    I know the ml is alcoholic too and has traumas and the fl is kind and help him get over it. My friend told me it's a very toxic plot, and that she didn't read it because she had the impression it justified toxic behavior and abuse in a relationship, I don't want my book to sound anything like that.
     
    R_Luna7 and beewink like this.
  4. GiBro

    GiBro Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2021
    Messages:
    231
    Likes Received:
    732
    Reading List:
    Link
    Ah, it would be great xD or if she grabbed the phone and erased all the recordings too, then threw the phone in her face, but yeah, that's not Belle, she's more likely to try to understand her reasons and try to convince her to change or stop.
     
    saye and Isobel like this.
  5. beewink

    beewink Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 25, 2021
    Messages:
    63
    Likes Received:
    126
    Reading List:
    Link
    Very toxic! But both the FL and ML suffer childhood tramas...it's sad but they do eventually come together in a healthier way. They learn and grow together.
     
    GiBro likes this.
  6. GiBro

    GiBro Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2021
    Messages:
    231
    Likes Received:
    732
    Reading List:
    Link
    Not wanting to sound needy (idk if that's the right word, if it's not, mb), but... :blobhug:
    I'm missing @saye and @Riiii :blobsweat: are you two alright?
     
    saye, Riiii and R_Luna7 like this.
  7. GiBro

    GiBro Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2021
    Messages:
    231
    Likes Received:
    732
    Reading List:
    Link
    I'm really looking forward to see what Isobel has to say about next chapter xD
     
    R_Luna7 likes this.
  8. GiBro

    GiBro Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2021
    Messages:
    231
    Likes Received:
    732
    Reading List:
    Link
    Chapter 9


    They walked through the corridors and she almost had to run to keep up with his long strides. She wondered if he was trying to run away from Andrews that followed behind.

    Desmond pushed her back as they got to the elevator and waited beside it, close to the wall. He let Andrews get in first, then held the door for her. She felt trapped inside the closed space as he forced her to the corner, giving his back to her. It was a totally different atmosphere from the playful meal time they just had. She couldn't look at his face directly, but his reflection was stern and severe. Now he was a man on duty.

    He let Andrews get out first too, but left immediately after and checked both sides before signaling her to follow him. She was tense. They walked straight to a black van with blacked-out windows and Desmond held out his hand to help her climb up. The seductive touching was totally gone and he nodded stiffly to the two agents, or policemen, or deputies, waiting beside the van. They wore normal clothes but their hands were obviously on the grip of a gun hidden on their backs as they waited for the three of them to get in and close the door.

    As soon as the door closed, Desmond resumed his odd over-clinging. He checked her seatbelt, caressing her neck when he noticed the strap was touching it, then put a hand over her thigh, rubbing it slightly with his thumb. He had never done this before and she blushed, feeling a bit uncomfortable.

    Andrews didn't look at them directly, but she knew she was observing them both from her seat. The two cops on the driver's and passenger seats couldn't see them, as the small window would, at the most, provide them the view of part of their faces.

    As Desmond had promised, the trip wasn't so tense. He stroked her hair or shoulders almost all the way, and kissed her temple or the top of head everytime she gave any sign of fear or uneasiness as she looked out the window or after they had to get into another van. When they were outside the van, he would assume the same professional posture, like a soldier on a mission, but as soon as the door closed, his hands and attention would be on her.

    When they got to the hotel, her mood dropped. It was a road hotel, a very cheap one. She pressed herself against his arm, involuntarily. He backed away, putting distance between them, as he balanced his backpack and bag.

    -Are you ok? Are you feeling dizzy? -He checked her with a cold tone.

    The cops turned to them, checking her too. Andrews had vanished inside the hotel’s small reception.

    -Are we gonna stay here? -She tried not to give away her disgust for the place. As she looked around, it only got worse. She saw broken handrails and steps, cockroaches near the huge filled up trash bin, and the sign was filthy.

    -Probably just for the night or a couple of days. Why?

    -It doesn't look safe… Or clean. -She whined in a very soft tone.

    He looked at her with a blank face but she could swear that he was making an enormous effort to hold back a loud laugh.

    When Andrews came back with the keys to their rooms, he climbed up the steps behind her, murmuring very low.

    -Doesn't look clean… -He mocked her, making a soft and overly sweet voice and chuckled to himself.

    She frowned at him and he urged her to keep walking.

    -This is yours, Miss Ross. -Andrews opened the door to show her the room. It had a bed in the middle of it, an old television over a small cabinet and a lamp beside the table.

    -And this… -She led Desmond to a room beside it, but Belle followed them. -Is your room. You're probably gonna have a roommate, they are gonna send you two deputies to accompany you for the rest of the trip or at least part of it. It's unusual, I think it was a perk Miss Ross’ lawyers managed to get for her.

    The room had a double bed and a single bed.

    -Isabelle is gonna stay here with me. -He declared, walking straight to the single bed and checking the mattress.

    -She has a room for herself. -Andrews face stiffened as she saw Belle getting in too and sitting on the double bed, shyly. -This is improper, Desmond, even for you.

    -She said she's feeling unsafe having to stay here. -He explained, approaching Belle and pulling her by her arm to his chest. She let out a small shriek as she stumbled to her feet with his pull. -Change the other room for one with two single beds and leave it for the deputies. You're gonna probably save some money by doing it, don't complain.

    He sniffed her hair and hugged her. Belle tried to pull him away, as she looked straight into Andrews’ eyes.

    -I see what you're trying to do, Desmond, it won't work. -She sighed, clicking her tongue. -Leave the girl alone, this is getting ridiculous. What's next? Are you gonna kiss her mouth?

    He let go of Belle and shrugged. The girl sat again on the bed and looked from one to the other, confused.

    -You may try to make me look crazy, but I'm still gonna report all of this, even if the other agents won't be able to back me up. Because one day you're gonna get distracted and do something like that in front of the wrong person.

    -I have no idea what you're talking about. -He rolled his eyes to her. -I think your job is done. I don't even know how you got to come this far, but I hope this is gonna be the last time I see your ugly face, Alyssa. Get lost.

    -Miss Ross, let me take you to your room, I brought some clothes for you. -She turned her back on him. -It looks like they found your backpack too, but I'm afraid we can't have someone bring it to you, so it will be delivered in your new housing later.

    Belle nodded, but didn't move.

    -I feel safer staying here with Desmond, thank you. -She murmured.

    -We don't recommend witnesses to stay in the same room. If there is an ambush, it gets more likely that all witnesses are killed at once.

    -You just convinced me to stay here even more. -Belle creased her eyebrows. -If they come, I'm not gonna leave him behind and I don't expect him to do this to me either.

    Andrews snorted.

    -Ok, Miss Ross. Come here, let's get your new clothes, then. -She offered her hand. -Come, it's ok.

    Belle looked at Desmond. He pretended not to be listening to the exchange, as he was arranging a change of clothes for himself. It was very early in the morning, but she too wanted to take a shower to loosen the knots on her muscles.

    -Miss Andrews, I think I didn't make it clear enough the last time we talked, so, please, don't take offense from my direct tone now… -She cleared her throat as her voice sounded ridiculously thin. -I'm not going anywhere with you. I'm not gonna meet Daniel even if you swear on your life that he's gonna be stricken dead as soon as I step in front of him, and I won't help you with any plan.

    Desmond paused and watched them. Andrews’ eyes assumed a menacing air.

    -I know my rights. You may try to intimidate me, but I still won't do what you want. I firmly believe that Desmond won't let you hurt me. I'm not afraid of you. -Belle went on. -I know that the only thing I'm enforced by law to do, is to testify against Daniel in court. I will do it, and I'll say all the things I already said on camera and all the things I remember till then. That's all I'm gonna do.

    Andrews looked like she would say something, but Belle got up and stood beside Desmond. He just stared at her, as if mesmerized by her rant.

    -Your biggest mistake was to let me know that your main intention is to harm him. You'll never win my sympathy, no matter how many fake smiles you spark at me!

    Desmond stepped between them and put his arm behind him, resting his palm on Belle’s waist, keeping most of her body blocked by his.

    -Bitter lesson of why you don’t go and tell your enemies what your plan is before making sure it will fully work… -He smirked. -Too bad you didn’t learn a thing with me in five fucking years of being a total bitch against me.

    Andrews frowned, then turned to Desmond with a furious glare.

    -I'll have someone bring you your things, Miss Ross. I'm pretty sure you'll eventually regret this. -She was still looking at him. Then she took a big paper bag from her back and threw it at them, but he just took a step aside, pulling Belle with him and it fell to the floor without touching them. -Here are the condoms you asked for.

    He opened his mouth to reply, but she went away, closing the door behind her.

    After she was gone, one of the agents came and brought a small bag. Desmond locked the door and shut the curtains as soon as they left. He told her not to stay near the window and not to answer the door, even if the person claimed to be a deputy. He also said that he was gonna leave the bathroom's door unlocked and that if an emergency occurred, it was ok for her to come in. She frowned but he pretended not to notice it, taking his clothes and towel and getting into the bathroom.

    Belle sighed and decided to check the clothes. Desmond must have told Andrews about her preference for long sleeved shirts, because all of them had it. There were ten shirts, three pants, one small bag containing tampons, a toothbrush, toothpaste, a small comb, a hair tie and a soap. In a separate compartment of the bag, she found five panties and two pairs of socks too. When she was putting everything back inside, she heard a plastic sound and found a small black plastic purse that was half hidden at the bottom of the bag.

    She opened it and took out it's contents, with a puzzled expression. At first she thought it was a necklace made of lace and pearls. When she finally understood what it was, she was dismayed. It was a pair of lace underwear. The red thong was see-through with a pearl string going from side to side and an opening in V at the front. She stared at it for too long with a mix of curiosity and disgust. The bra was see-through too, with heart shaped cups that probably wouldn't cover all the way to her nipples and pearl strings that crossed from one side to the other. There was a small piece of paper stuck at the bottom of the plastic bag.

    Suddenly, the sound of the water flowing ceased. Belle urgently tried to put the lingerie back inside the small bag, but it wouldn't fit. She felt like she could scream and cry while she desperately shoved the indecent pieces inside the plastic bag, begging that it wouldn't burst. When she was sure it was all inside, she quickly closed it and threw it inside the bag, pushing it all the way down to hide it. Desmond got out of the bathroom and looked at her, while rubbing his hair vigorously.

    -Are you ok? Why are you red? -He paused. -Are you feeling ill? What happened?

    -I'm fine. -She avoided his eyes. -I want to take a shower too. They didn't send a towel.

    She looked at the not so white towels over the wardrobe and sighed.

    -Use mine. -He threw a clean towel at her side. She smiled shyly. -Belle… I'm worried about you, what happened? You have red marks all over your neck and shoulder. What are you feeling?

    Panic. She wanted to answer. Why would she do this to me? I hadn't provoked her yet, why would she put that thing inside my bag?

    -Belle… -He snapped his fingers in front of her face and she looked at him. She immediately blushed as she felt his body warmth. -Belle… Tell me, what's wrong? Is it because of the room? It's a good room, believe me, it could be worse.

    He sat beside her and she immediately got up, feeling weird about being so close to him. He frowned. She took her bag and the towel and headed to the bathroom, but he held her by her arm and put the bag down.

    -The bathroom is very small, you're gonna get your things wet. Take only what you'll really need.

    She did as he told her, but felt desperate about the mere idea of leaving her bag alone with him with that thing inside it, so she put the small black plastic bag inside the toilet bag and rushed to the bathroom. As she was under the thin strand of water, she put her hand between her legs to clean herself, and felt an unusual moisture. She blushed, realizing what it was. He had made her get wet before, especially while they were kissing. But it was the first time she felt it with her fingers. She quickly cleaned it, feeling like she was doing something wrong and got out of the bathroom as quickly as she managed to, afraid that he could guess what she had been doing.
     
    imeren, saye, R_Luna7 and 2 others like this.
  9. beewink

    beewink Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 25, 2021
    Messages:
    63
    Likes Received:
    126
    Reading List:
    Link

    Even though it is so not like her, I'm going to pretend Belle worked up the courage to come out of the bathroom wearing only the lingerie. Then her and Desmond put those condoms to good use *swoon* *fans self* :aww:
     
    novelenthusiast1717 and GiBro like this.
  10. GiBro

    GiBro Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2021
    Messages:
    231
    Likes Received:
    732
    Reading List:
    Link
    Dear readers I have to tell you about an schedule change I'll try and check if it works for us.
    I'm gonna post every Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday, at afternoon or night, depending on what time I leave work.
    I know it leaves a gap of one day on our normal schedule but at least we'll have a weekly schedule and it reduces the risk of me not being able to post because of having to work till late (which happens, when it does, on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays). It also forces me to write on Sunday since I won't be revising that day. (Just wanted to inform it, if you feel like it's not good, we can go back to every odd day).
     
    Last edited: Oct 27, 2021
  11. GiBro

    GiBro Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2021
    Messages:
    231
    Likes Received:
    732
    Reading List:
    Link
    Chapter 10


    -Don't you worry about what she might do against us? -Belle murmured after finishing her meal, watching Desmond chew on his Tay food.

    -Not really. -He shrugged. -While she's barking, she gives me the certainty that she has absolutely nothing to hit me with. It's when she's silent that I feel like perking up my ears.

    -Ah, it makes sense… One of the wise man's fears… -She leaned back on her seat. -The same must happen with Daniel, right?

    -Exactly. Except that with him I'm always alert, only a bit more when he's quiet. -He wiped his mouth. -What was that about? Wise man's fear?

    -It's from that book I told you before… In fact it's sequel: “There are three things all wise men fear: the sea in storm, a night with no moon, and the anger of a gentle man”. In this case it would be a gentle woman. At least one that feigns being gentle.

    He creased his eyebrows. After some thought he asked her.

    -Did she harm you? Did she tell you something that made you feel threatened?

    She put a whore’s uniform among my clothes and told me you're gonna use me like one… She bitterly thought as she shook her head. He pressed his lips, lost in thoughts.

    -I'm sorry for using you to make her feel uncomfortable… I hoped she would… -He ruffled his hair a bit, but then clicked his tongue and got up. -Let's rest a bit. We're free from her for the time being.

    She tried to convince him to use the double bed, but he refused it, making up weird excuses. Since his single bed was too small, even for himself, she didn't have the guts to sneak in to cuddle in his arms in the middle of the night.

    The next morning, deputies came by and greeted both of them. Using only their first names, Paul and Brandon, they gave them their new documents and Belle was bothered when she found out they had changed her first name but not Desmond's.

    -Why do I have to be Belinda and you get to keep being Ryan? -She whined at him as soon as the deputies left the room.

    -Don't you like it? -He pressed his lips. -You'll keep your nickname but still hide your identity.

    -And why won't you have to change your name too? -She pouted involuntarily.

    -We thought it would be hard for you to adapt… -He sighed. -It would mess things up if you accidentally called me Ryan in front of others.

    -I don't call you Ryan, remember? I call you Desmond.

    -Yeah, so get used to calling me Ryan from now on, since I'm unfortunately not Desmond anymore. Now we are Herrera… I should have shot Andrews when I had the opportunity, that bitch…

    Belle frowned, and he ignored her.

    -Did she choose our names? -Belle tilted her head.

    -I'm pretty sure she had something to do with our surnames… -He sighed, then explained. -I have a friend that has a friend… And that friend kindly let me choose your first name. He also assured me our surname would be something American. My nickname when I got into the NYPD was “Latino”, because of the color of my skin. Andrews was the one to first call me this openly, although she swears she wasn't the one to come up with it first.

    -Did you choose Belinda, then? Why not Isabella or something a bit more similar to my own name? -She squinted her eyes.

    -This one suits you. -He snorted and looked away, clearly offended. -Look, stop complaining, if I hadn't intervened you'd probably end up calling Mary or Emma.

    -Why Belinda? Why does it suit me, what does it mean?

    -It means very beautiful. -He didn't look at her, then chuckled. -It also means bright serpent, which also fits you, since I heard you bite to kill when you're feeling threatened… You literally dig a whole into that asshole’s arm. And Mike had terrible marks on his forearm too.

    She pouted but a smile forced its way to her face as she saw his proud smirk.

    In the documents, she was older. She was twenty two. Desmond… or Ryan, was twenty five. Now he couldn't tease her anymore for her age. Or at least she hoped he wouldn't.

    They stayed there for two more nights. He didn't mistreat her, but didn't treat her as he had been doing in front of Andrews. They ate simple meals inside the room, always drinking bottled water.

    Desmond explained that her lawyers had insisted that she would be given the option to buy a house that fit her interests. By that they meant that they didn't want her to be taken to a lower class village and put into a small house. They wanted her to keep her quality of life.

    She told him she preferred to buy the house with her own money and put it in her own name. Her real concern was about her lawyers screwing him after the operation finished, if he put his money in it. He agreed to her terms, explaining that they would sign a document that would guarantee she would have the rights over the house if they had a divorce. She always found it weird when he talked about divorcing her. She wondered if they would start to refer to each other as husband and wife in a few days.

    She felt very glad to leave the hotel the next morning. They changed cars twice and spent four nights at a better hotel room, this time in separate rooms. He asked one of the deputies for a diclofenac ointment and she was surprised to find out it was meant to be used on her, not him. She blushed as he gently treated her bruised face and neck without her asking to. Even then, he did it leaving no ground for misinterpretation, making it clear that there was no romantic intention on his action. He spent most of the day with her in her bedroom, but avoided getting too near her, leaving for his bedroom at night, to sleep. They spent most of their time talking about the program and their background story. She couldn’t sleep much, as she kept worrying that Daniel might come after them in the middle of the night again.

    As they departed, he praised her for her almost healed skin, applying the ointment again, before putting her bag on his shoulder to carry it for her. This time they only changed cars once, and her butt was tingling from being seated for hours. She looked out the window and enjoyed the unknown feeling of traveling. She saw lots of different trees and houses. She saw cows and horses from a short distance for the first time and was slightly disappointed when Desmond mocked her when she jumped and showed him them, pulling his sleeve to catch his attention. He cut her mood when he said that the cows were living stocks and that they would probably become someone's meal in a couple of years. She felt slightly depressed with his mean behavior.

    Belle slept on his shoulder at some point. He didn't shove her away, but didn't caress her as he normally would. She realized why. The two deputies were seated near, pretending not to, but keeping an eye on him.

    The third hotel was so fancy she felt weird getting into it with her hair all tangled from sleeping during the long trip. They were put in the same apartment, but in separate rooms, and Ryan locked the door to his room after making sure she was alright before they went to sleep. They stayed there for three nights and left before the sun was up.

    She could tell Ryan was trying to avoid touching her. Once he had lifted his hand to brush her hair from her eyes, but quickly lowered it and just warned her about it instead. She was starting to hate the presence of the two men.

    They stopped again at a small motel, this time only for the night. She felt there was no need for it, thinking it was too early to stop, since it was still morning, but Desmond explained they needed to be sure they hadn't been followed by other cars or even drones. This time she didn't respect his space and crawled into his bed, sleeping beside him. He woke up in the middle of the night, grunted at her and moved to her bed, but she blatantly followed him. He sighed and gave his back to her, crossing his arm firmly in front of his chest and putting a pillow between his legs.

    The next day, they both got into the car wearing frowns. She looked out the window, pretending he wasn't there, and he pretended to be sleeping. After a long time of only seeing small houses and a lot of trees, she began to see bigger houses and stores. Then, they got into what looked like a small bridge and she recognized palm trees. She creased her eyebrows and looked around, then she saw it.

    -Oh my god! Desmond, look! Oh my god! -She took her seatbelt off, got to her knees over her seat and almost glued her face to the window glass. -Ah! It's the sea, isn't it? Desmond! It's the ocean!

    Ryan didn't look surprised. He had been keeping track of the road signs for days and knew all along where they were heading to. He didn't know exactly what would be the final stop, since they were avoiding highways, but he knew the average direction.

    -Desmond! It's the beach, it's a beach there, isn't it? -She was so excited that her eyes were brimming. He smiled at her and put a hand to her shoulder, pulling her back to her seat.

    -Call me Ryan, Belle… It's the first time you see it, isn't it? -He murmured, leaning over her to reach her seatbelt. He paused and watched her enthusiasm with a smile on his face, absorbing her happiness. -So damn beautiful…

    -Yes! -She looked at him and agreed, not knowing he was actually talking about her. She immediately turned back to the window. -Ah, are we gonna live by the beach? I've dreamed about it, I wanna know how the sand feels!

    His smile withered. How would he tell her that she actually wouldn't be allowed to go to the beach, at least for the time being? He shut his mouth and nodded.

    -It's actually nothing special… Haven't you ever played in a sandbox? -He frowned. -It's like dirt, but… Drier.

    -No, I was an indoor girl. -She couldn't take her eyes from the ocean. The car turned and she couldn't see it anymore. She looked at him with the awed expression still on her face.

    Ryan felt weird. He realized he was jealous. Jealous of the sea… It was absurdly ridiculous, but he didn't want to see her looking like that because of anything unrelated to him. He looked at her shining wet eyes and sighed. After some thought, he offered her a hug and she promptly threw herself into his arms.

    -I'm so, so, happy! -She panted in his ear and he felt goosebumps run all the way through his arms and back. -Thank you so much!

    -I didn't do a thing, they have a list of places and they pick the one that is available to allocate the witness. It's nothing that can be tampered with, as far as I know. -He explained, rubbing her back. -It was just luck. Actually…

    He pulled her away to be able to turn his head and inquire the deputies.

    -Isn't it too risky? Florida houses a lot of big thugs and mafia heads… And it's a huge drop in population, comparing it to Brooklyn’s. -He creased his eyebrows.

    -We don't know the criteria, Mister Desmond. But rest assured you will be safe. It has been arranged for a house in a condo to be bought by Miss Ross, she just has to approve it. It's a safe place.

    -Low profile my ass, right? -Desmond frowned.

    -It's not uncommon, many families don't want to stay in the housing the government provides them. -Paul explained. -If they have the resources, like Miss Ross does, there's no problem with it.

    Desmond sighed and straightened his back. Belle was leaning on the window, trying to catch another glance at the sea.

    -I can't wait to dip my feet in the water… Do you think it's too deep? I mean, if I don't go too far in, is it safe? -She looked at him again and he felt frustrated. How would he explain that she would be locked indoors for months? She bit her lips, misunderstanding his expression. -I'll stay near you, I promise. I won't drown or do something stupid. I don't know how to swim so I wouldn't try anyway…

    -You don't know how to swim? -He stopped trying to create the narrative in his head to explain their situation. -Haven't you ever been inside a pool?

    -No.

    -Your school has a pool. Had. Your ex-school. -He corrected.

    -I was fifteen, so I was ashamed of trying… I was actually a bit scared. People weren't exactly responsible around that pool. -She looked down, ashamed.

    -Why didn't your parents teach you? Or at least put you in swimming class? It's important to know those kinds of things, Belle, it could save your life! -He frowned. -No wonder you struggled so much to sit up when you fell from the building… I thought you had hit your head, but you were just drowning…

    -My father thought it was too dangerous. -She shrugged, then blushed. -I don't know how to hold my breath without using my hand too. I think I came with a factory defect…

    -You need to practice. -He sighed. -I simply hate your parents…

    She pressed her lips and looked away.

    -I don't want to offend you, or their memory… I just don't believe that a person's sins should be forgotten because they died. They were perfect examples of bad parenting.

    -They wanted to protect me… They didn't know they would die so soon. They didn't know I would be useless because they didn't let me learn things. -She snorted. He cringed at her words, but she went on before he could reply. -You kind of do the same, sometimes. I know it's not your responsibility, but you… Hold me back. A lot.

    He frowned. She looked at him and frowned back, as if defying him to deny it. After a few minutes, he looked away, through the window.

    -That is the condo. -Paul interrupted their argument, pointing out.

    -Too crowded… -Desmond complained. It wasn't crowded. It was a small condo with a circle of houses stretching through a boulevard of palm trees. In the middle of the circle a huge pool that looked more like a lake had about twenty people swimming, sunbathing or taking a nap under a sunshade.

    -I liked it. -Belle declared.

    -You haven't checked the house yet, don't say this before you see it. -He sighed, knowing she would accept the house anyway. -Think about it carefully, Belle, we're gonna be forced to live with those people around us.

    She frowned, not understanding the problem. As they drove inside the condo, her eyes were caught by a group of girls and boys around her real age, gathered at one side of the pool. There were about ten of them and one of the boys was trying to push a girl inside the pool. They fought a bit, but he was obviously stronger and ended up lifting her practically above his head, before throwing her in. Belle gasped and stretched her neck to check if the girl was alright. The girl lifted her head above the surface and slapped a huge amount of water at him, wetting most of the others, that had nothing to do with their exchange. They all let out screams, laughs and shrieks.

    -Great… -Desmond sighed. He grabbed her chin and forced her to look into his eyes. -Keep in mind that you don't know how to swim. Don't be around those people until you learn it, ok?

    She nodded. As she observed his gloomy mood she couldn't help but wonder if he was jealous of the tanned half naked boys. She smiled to herself when he pulled her back to her seat as she kneeled on her seat to be able to check on the group again. Certainly jealous.

    The house was one of the few ones that you had to walk a bit to get to the pool, so they couldn't hear the noises from there. Fortunately, it was also one far enough so the noise of the busy avenue wouldn't reach it.

    -So, what do you say, Mister Herrera? -The real estate broker rubbed his hands with a greedy smile. -Can we close the deal?

    The house was actually better than he had expected. There was a study on the first floor with a large window. Ryan liked the place because of the large table and the bookshelves that filled up the walls from side to side. The real perk of the room, according to the seller, was that you could see the young ladies sunbathing at a lounging garden practically in front of the house. He said it to Ryan as if it was a secret between the two of them, that Belle should never know about. After a few more stupid jokes, and Ryan's cold attitude toward him afterwards, he understood the man wasn't in for cheating his wife or even at leering at the tanned bodies stretched under the sun. He quickly changed his strategy into proving that the house was perfect for children.

    Ryan blatantly ignored him and followed Belle to the kitchen. His mood sank, and from her pouting he guessed hers too. It was smaller than his, practically half its size. There wasn't much space left with the island that was much smaller than his. At least it was less tall too. He approached it and measured it. Too short. It was practically a table. She wouldn't find it bad, it was a good size for her to use while standing, but he would have a hard time with it. He remembered having to help her get up and down the stools back in his house and pressed his lips, feeling frustrated. He checked the rest of the furniture. It wasn't that bad, just too modern for him, after spending all his life in an elegant classic environment. The appliances were brand new.

    -I have to ask… Why are they selling it for this price? -He frowned. Observing that there were no marks at the doors and walls, signaling it had been painted not long ago.

    -Ah, a sad story… A tragedy. -The seller sighed, uncomfortable to talk about it. -They had just moved in, less than a week living here, when their young daughter, around your wife’s age, if you allow me to guess, nineteen, twenty at the most?

    Belle turned her head with wide eyes and the man mistook it, thinking she had taken offense. Her eyes darted to Ryan’s, as she thought the man would find out about the witness program. The man tried to apologize, but Ryan cut him.

    -He was just trying to flatter you, baby. -He gave her a look that screamed Keep it cool, for God sake!

    -Ah, I'm not that young… -She looked away shaking her head. I'm a disaster.

    -What about the daughter? Did something happen to her here? -Ryan insisted.

    -Oh, no, not here. -He quickly knocked on the wooden furniture nearby. -The girl used to go to those parties that last day and night, you know? People say she was into… Into those things, you know, how do they call it those days, candies? And she used to go out with boys and girls… In other words, she was a… Complicated girl.

    -Ok, I got it, she got involved with bad company… -Ryan urged him, worried that Belle would have the brilliant idea of giving him a lecture about feminism. -But what happened? Did she die?

    The seller nodded, then shook his head, showing that he wasn't sure.

    -Actually the police never found her body. She might as well have run away with a boyfriend… Or girlfriend. But the couple split up after almost one year looking for her and now they need to sell the house quickly, since they can't stand being near each other anymore, basically. -He said it quickly, as if doing that would make the subject lighter. -And since you mentioned you wanted to close a deal quickly too, I'd say it's a match!

    He smiled, although he was clearly uncomfortable doing so.

    -Let's see the rooms. And the bathroom's too. -Ryan said, simply. The man seemed uneasy with his cold attitude. The other clients probably would at least show some reaction at the sad story.

    They went upstairs. There were only two rooms there, each one with an en suite. Only after they had already reached the second floor, the seller explained that there was a toilet downstairs for visits. The first bedroom had a queen sized bed, with light pink, almost translucent canopy curtains. It was embroidered with golden butterflies all over it. Ryan's face contorted with the sight.

    -Now that's another level of fetish… Tell me that's not the couple's bedroom, please.

    -Ah, no, it was their daughter's. -He sighed. The canopy can be removed, but it's practically new, they had just installed it for her. We left it to add a charm to the room, but you can change it. Actually I think you might want to change the bed for a crib very soon, right? The room is big enough for two kids, actually…

    Ryan ignored him and pulled Belle toward the suite. It was cozy enough.

    -Do you mind if this one is yours? -He whispered in her ear as she looked around. -We can take off the horrible canopy, or at least change the…

    -I kind of think it's beautiful… -She pouted in embarrassment. -I like butterflies.

    He shrugged, then led her out. The seller showed them the other room. It was way bigger than the first one.

    Ryan looked at the bed, that was bigger than the last one and didn't have the ridiculous canopy. He glanced at Belle. She didn't seem like she would want to change rooms.

    -Now here's something your wife will absolutely love! -The man opened a door on the wall and revealed a new room. -That's the absolute dream’s closet!

    It was actually a fine room. He looked around and finally understood the practicality of having a closet. Ryan remembered his mother's and Samantha’s bickering about not having a big closet on the house’s project. In the end he had backed his mother, claiming that a wider room would be much more useful. Looking back now, it was just one more desperate maneuver of his mother to try to make the woman give up living with him. His mood sank when he realized that Marrie wouldn't be there anymore to keep his mess tidy. He liked the tidiness, but his mind was always too busy to worry about classifying clothes by type and color, for example. He had seen Belle's room. Her wardrobe was fairly organized, but nothing compared to Marrie’s organization. It would be torture, not to have a maid, at least for a couple of months until he could investigate and hire someone.

    Belle came in with big bright eyes, examining the place. He sighed. That would certainly mean changing rooms.

    -Let's talk about structural and mechanical issues. -He snorted, leaving Belle to enjoy her girl’s world while the seller showed him documents and the structures that mattered. He checked the ridiculously small laundry room, and the small room beside it, where the seller told him there used to be a pool table. He decided that would be his new tiny gym. It wasn't ideal, but he would have to make do.

    They had a tiresome day. After eating frozen lasagnas, they began to clean and tidy the house. There were a lot of things to buy, like mattresses, bedding and towels, for starters. He felt absolutely naive for thinking that it would be a simple thing to do by moving first and waiting for their things to arrive, only god knows when.

    Ryan was tired and knew Belle had to be, too. He had just finished draining the bathtub, after sanitizing it with bleach and other products, then huffed and headed for Belle's bathroom, but, to his surprise it was smelling even better than his. He pressed his lips and put his hands on his hips, eyeing the ugly canopy. She had cleaned everything already, bathroom, bedroom, living room and kitchen, before he had even finished his bedroom and one bathroom. He missed Marrie.

    He climbed down the stairs and sighed, as he realized there wasn't much more they could do. He paused as he found Belle, sleeping seated by the dinner table, with her head resting over her arms, still holding the linen cloth in one hand. He stepped beside her to have a better view. How can you be so cute doing absolutely nothing?

    Ryan set his study ready for working. The first thing he did was shut the curtains, deciding he would change them later for thicker ones. Then, he changed the disposition of the table, to a way that his back wouldn't face neither the door nor the huge window. Then he set his computer and sighed. Riviera would certainly torture him for months and she would be delighted with every single useless piece of work she would shove down his throat. He knew he wouldn't have a minute of rest for at least one year. If at least he could meet her, maybe he could warm her frozen heart a bit, but right now, she would make him endure all the punishment she wouldn't be able to make Williams suffer.

    After receiving and arranging the new mattresses, he took a shower, hoping she would be up already when he got out. She was still deep asleep, so he made the beds and took Belle in his arms, gently laying her down under the very ugly canopy. He sniffed it just to be sure it had really been washed, at least. Belle's body curled into a ball and her hands fumbled by her side. He knew what she was doing, she was unconsciously looking for his chest. Ryan sighed, shaking his head. She was probably overwhelmed by the tension of the whole situation, it would be better to just let her rest for a while.

    He had already turned his back, but turned to her again, took his shirt off and laid it down beside her. Belle moved almost immediately and held it to her chest, sniffing it. He chuckled, then bent down and kissed her forehead, softly, before getting out.
     
    Last edited: Jan 7, 2022
    imeren, saye, R_Luna7 and 2 others like this.
  12. GiBro

    GiBro Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2021
    Messages:
    231
    Likes Received:
    732
    Reading List:
    Link
    Chapter 11


    Belle woke up alone. She looked around and saw the ugly butterflies all around the pink curtains of the canopy. It was indeed a bit tacky…

    She found out Ryan had already taken care of groceries and household supplies when she noticed her suite had been stocked with basic items. She quickly checked the window and guessed it couldn't be much later than eight a.m.

    Belle looked for him, finding sliced pineapple and scrambled eggs with fresh bread waiting for her in the half equipped kitchen.

    When she couldn't find him anywhere else, she knocked on his study's door.

    -Desmond?

    She heard a grunt from inside and a few seconds later the door opened. He was staring at her with an annoyed face.

    -Ahm, good morning…? -She turned it into a question, unsure about what she might have done to make him angry.

    -Ryan, Belle, try to get used to it. -He rolled his eyes. -Call me Ryan!

    -You forbid me to call you like that. It's your fault I'm having trouble calling you Ryan, it's as if it's blocked from my mind.

    -You say it because you're so good at following rules and orders, right? Call me Ryan. Especially in front of others, but you should get used to it, anyway... If you don’t feel like it, it's ok if you call me other things too, as long as you make it sound natural. -He explained, then added as he saw her eyebrows creasing. -Love, baby, those kinds of silly nicknames. But I prefer Ryan. Why is it so difficult, anyway?

    She blushed and looked down. The thought of calling him “baby” or “love” never crossed her mind. She cleared her throat, still too embarrassed to face him.

    -You traumatized me… I thought you wanted to beat me, with your “I'm not your friend, don't say my name” thing… -She imitated his cold tone as best as she could. It was his time to be embarrassed.

    -Whatever. Call me Ryan from now on, or I'll have to come up with a new trauma for you. -He smirked, lifting one eyebrow. Then he sighed and leaned on the doorway. -We should work on our backgrounds during lunch today, I just realized there’s much we didn’t cover. We should've done this before we came, maybe I rushed things up too much...

    -Can't we just say we came from New York and we are just married?

    -No, we can't. We've never been to New York. We have nothing to do with New York. I thought you had read the recommendations…

    Belle sighed. She had read it, but it was too much information and she was too tense by the time to memorize it all.

    -What do you need now, anyway?

    -Am I disturbing you? -She peered inside. Aside from the computer, a notebook and some sheets of paper over the table, the room still looked empty. -I just wanted to know if there's something I can do… I could go out and buy some things, I don't know…

    Ryan pursed his lips, but relaxed them immediately.

    -Belle… I can't let you just walk around without protection. We still don't know for sure if we weren't followed…

    -But you went out! -She pointed out, a bit offended.

    -I'm dead. They aren't looking for me. -He explained patiently. -Daniel has spread your pictures among his followers and is promising rewards for someone that brings you to him alive and well.

    Belle's stomach hurt. Her head felt heavy.

    -Can't you put it down? -She whined.

    -His new hacker is way better than Trevor. We can't track him and he's quicker, he works with redundancy and adaptability at its finest. Lucas and the cyber crime’s team are having a hard time with his attacks. -He explained in a monotonous tone. She felt shivers. For experience she knew that when he adopted this posture it meant that something worried him profoundly and that it was beyond his capacities to solve them. -Speaking of that, I want you to stay away from cameras connected to the internet.

    -Do you think they could find me just by face on a random camera? -She frowned.

    -Yes. -He sighed. -Look, Belle, I have a lot of work to do… Can you distract yourself with something for the time being?

    -Sure, sorry for bothering you… -She bitterly gulped her pride.

    His smile was almost imperceptible. As Belle was about to shut the door behind her, he stepped forward and blocked it with his foot.

    -Have you slept well? -He asked after a few seconds of just staring into each other’s eyes. -Did you like your new room?

    -Yes, but I missed you. -She murmured, biting her lip.

    He grimaced and looked away.

    -Desmond… Ryan. -She corrected as soon as he frowned. -There’s something I wanted to tell you. I wanted to tell you as soon as we reunited, but then we… We kissed and...

    She checked his expression, but he just watched her with no sign of emotion.

    -About that day, when I called Daniel… I meant it.

    -What? -He straightened his back and pulled the door as he stepped back involuntarily. -What are you talking about?

    -You know what I’m talking about, don’t you? You asked me, if I meant it, you kind of… I thought it was just a hallucination, but then I repeated your voice over and over in my head, for days… And you did ask me, didn’t you? -Belle realized she was talking too fast and wasn’t breathing, so she paused and took a deep breath. She thought a bit, almost hoping he would interrupt her, then decided to go on. -I actually thought you wanted to answer me, to tell me you felt the same. Your face… It looked like that. But it’s ok, you don’t need to say anything, I realized it shouldn’t make a difference if I really love you…

    -Shut up. -He said bluntly. -Go do something else.

    She blinked, dumbfounded by his cold attitude. He opened his mouth to say something, then grunted and started to close the door, but it was her time to block it.

    -No, you can’t just do things like that, it’s childish! -She scolded him.

    -Yes, I can, and I’m doing that for your own good. -He rolled his eyes and pushed her back by her shoulders without any effort. -Belle, we had this conversation before, I already told you that I not only don’t love you, but I also don’t believe you love me.

    -But I do. And I firmly believe you do too, and Magda believes it too. -She pushed him back, with both hands on his chest. He grimaced and made a hissing sound when she pressed his wound, but didn’t move an inch. -Sorry I didn’t mean to… Did I hurt you?

    -You’re a pain in the ass when you put your mind into being one. -He snorted. -Go away. It's serious, I have to work.

    -I’m sorry for hurting you.

    -You didn’t. You should be sorry for hurting yourself. -He gave his back to her and headed back into the study. -Forget this love shit, ok? It’s nonsense. Try to act like an adult since I’m supposed to treat you like one, now.

    She frowned but he didn’t see it, because he didn't look at her before he closed and locked the door.

    She prepared their lunch and made a pineapple pie, since she didn’t have baking powder to bake a cake. She was gathering courage to knock on his door again to call him, but he showed up on his own.

    -The smell is good. -He eyed her, checking her mood. After confirming that nothing would be thrown at him, he put the table for two.

    They talked about their background. He had come up with the basics of it, and she was surprised when he told her he was negotiating about arranging for her to skip college for law school. Actually she would jump to senior year as long as she proved to domain the subjects. Lucas would provide all the materials and Ryan would get her an offline notebook so she could take the tests as a simulation, before actually taking the real tests all at once or in parts as she got more confident. She felt bad about cheating, but told him she would think about it. She accepted the study material and the notebook, though. He encouraged her to accept it, but told her it was an important choice to make, so he wouldn’t insist, that would be the only time he would talk about it and if she decided to follow the plan, she should bring it up on her own.

    She was surprised when he revealed he had read her college application essay. At first she felt embarrassed and having her privacy violated, but as he told her it was one of the things that made him want to know her instead of just hating her forever, she felt glad he did. He noticed her discomfort and explained it was on her file, that he hadn’t really researched to get it and apologized for reading it.

    -Ok… Now we need to talk. -He pushed his plate aside and leaned on the table with a serious expression.

    Ah, now you wanna talk? She wanted to answer him, but decided not to start a fight if she could avoid it. She pressed her lips and pushed her plate too.

    -About this love thing, I need you to stop. -He said simply. -I’m serious. It’s bad for me too.

    -Bad for you too. -She repeated, trying to keep a straight face.

    -Yes, surprise, I’m a human being! -He frowned, affronted by her tone.

    -I could never guess. -Belle smirked. -So now you’re gonna admit you have feelings too?

    -I never denied I have feelings. I just don’t have them for you. -He pressed his lips. -I mean, not the ones you want me to have, at least.

    -What are the ones you have, then? -She promptly asked him.

    -You’re… Attractive. I can’t deny it, I feel attracted to your body, for example. -He looked so uncomfortable that she feared he would get up and walk away.

    -Only my body, then? That’s all I am to you? A nice body? -She lifted one eyebrow, teasing him.

    -No… -He snorted, looking away. -Belle, this conversation isn’t going where it should. I’m not good for you. You would regret it, believe me.

    -Then the problem isn’t what you feel or don’t feel, the problem is what you think I will feel? Really? I didn’t know FBI agents were trained for premonition too. -She mocked him.

    -I don’t love you. Put that inside your head, I don’t, I won’t and I’ll never want to. -He gesticulated with his hands. -But really, I don’t give a fuck if you want to believe that I do. It’s the physical shits that I need you to stop. It’s driving me crazy, I can’t take it anymore!

    They stared at each other for a while.

    -Did you understand what I said? -He ran both hands through his hair, still leaning on his elbows. -Shit Belle, give me a sign that you’ll at least try to stop doing it…

    -Doing what? -She tilted her head.

    - “I missed you”. -He took his hands off his nape only to air quote, without looking up. -And climbing into my bed at the hotel, what was that? I mean, frankly... And the rest too, at least now you’re wearing your own shirt, but at the hotel, I literally told you I was… No, really, you do certain things totally on purpose.

    As he looked at her, his face was crimson.

    -All right, Ryan. -She said simply. -I got it.

    -Will you stop, then? Are we good? -The hope and relief in his voice were clear.

    -I most certainly will not stop. -She frowned. -Are you kidding me? You pretended, all this while, that I was the clinging crazy one, when in reality you are just holding yourself back with all your might. You've just literally told me that if I push a bit more, I’ll finally break in. Why would I stop now?

    He stared at her with his mouth half open. She felt wrong about being mean to him, so she occupied her eyes and hands, calmly serving a piece of pie for herself.

    -You can’t be serious. -Belle almost laughed at the disbelief in his tone. It was funny to think that block of ice of a man could be taken aback by anything she did.

    -Do you want pineapple pie, Ryan? -She lifted one eyebrow, sliding her piece to him. As she leaned on the table to do so, she knew that he could see part of her cleavage.

    -This won’t happen. -He shook his head and got up, cleaning up the table. -And I’m disappointed in you. This is not like you. Especially now, how can you even think about it this soon? I mean, we should both be... Fuck, I really need to buy at least some bottles of whiskey…

    -I don’t want you to buy any alcoholic beverages. -She frowned, following him to the sink. -It’s my house too, now. I don’t want a bar here, it’s not good for you.

    -Do you prefer me to go out to drink? Fine. -He shrugged. -Belle, go away. I don’t wanna talk to you now.

    She leaned on the counter, standing very close to him and crossed her arms. He stared at her, then pulled out the faucet and moved it in her direction. She ran away with a shriek, but her hair and shirt were dripping.

    She went to her bedroom and didn’t see him for the rest of the day. She knocked on his study’s door to call him for dinner, but he didn’t answer. She didn’t have any notion of what time it was when she decided to get into his bedroom to get clean clothes. He had arranged her things inside the closet, but she knew it would be better to move them all to her own bedroom later.

    -What the fuck are you doing here? -He grunted, standing by the bedroom’s door.

    -I’m only getting my clothes, I’m gonna take a shower. -She showed him the clothes as if to prove that she hadn’t come looking for him.

    -I’ll transfer your things to your bedroom right now, if you want me to. -He snapped angrily, then seemed to regret it and looked down. -Are you sure you don’t want to switch? This one has a bathtub.

    -Really? -She tilted her head, only now realizing she hadn’t checked the suite in this bedroom. -No, it’s enough if you let me use it when I want to, if that’s ok with you. About the clothes, I can do this tomorrow, don’t worry. Ah, I agree with you, the canopy is ugly...

    -I told you it was bizarre… -Ryan sighed with a thin smile. He arched his eyebrows at her as she approached and stopped in front of him, only then realizing that he was blocking her way out.

    -Did you go out to drink? -She sniffed and grimaced. He walked to the side without any sign that he would answer her. -Really? Ryan, you shouldn't. It's bad for your health...

    -I won’t even waste my time telling you that’s none of your business. Get out.

    She fulminated him with her sight, then headed to her own room. He shut the door behind her.

    Belle tried to sleep, but woke up twice from nightmares.

    On the first one, she was getting out of the house, wearing a yellow bikini, when she spotted that same group of teenagers she had seen the day before. When she approached them, though, one of them was Daniel. She immediately tried to run for the house, but one of them lifted her over his head and threw her inside the pool. The straps of the bikini stretched out on their own and tied her up from neck to ankles. She felt as if a spider had gotten her and wrapped her to eat her later. As she drowned, Daniel approached her, offering her his hand. He didn’t seem to have any trouble breathing. She looked at his outstretched hand. She didn’t want to take it, but she didn’t want to die, either. As she decided to take his hand, the ties loosened and she grabbed his arm, desperate for air. As she managed to get to the surface, though, Daniel wrapped an arm around her waist and put a gun on her hand. Desmond was sitting right in front of her, tied up to the chair with those same strings from her bikini. Shoot him, or drown. It’s your choice, my queen. His breath on her cheek was as cold as the water.

    She sat up in the bed, panting and looking around. She cursed herself repeatedly for the nightmare and tried to find a better position to lay down to sleep. The door burst open and she frowned. Desmond? But it wasn’t Desmond. Again, it was Daniel. No, you’re not real, go away! She wanted to scream but she couldn’t. She tried to jump out of the bed, but the curtains of the canopy wrapped around her just like the strings had done before and she fell face first. Daniel just walked in her direction, calmly. No, that’s just a nightmare, Desmond will come in a minute and wake me up, I know he will, it’s alright. Daniel came even closer. She gave up trying to get rid of the fabric and stretched her hand to get the lamp over her bedside table. But all that she managed to get was a pillow. She tried to throw the pillow at him, but he took out a knife and cut in from side to side, sprawling the plush all over the floor. This is exactly what I’ll do to Desmond, Belle. Come watch it. She backed away, but he cut the fabric and lifted her, pulling her arm. He lifted her sleeve, exposing her scars and cut the wounds open again. She let out a cry from pain, which felt too real to be just a dream. But then she saw him frowning and taking something from inside her wounded arm. Orange lilies. Tiger lilies. Daniel looked up at her as if demanding an explanation. Then a hand grabbed him by the hair and another pressed it from his chin. Belle looked up and saw Desmond, with furious eyes, smashing Daniel’s skull until it became so small that it looked like a baseball’s ball. She started to cry as he stepped forward and held her in his arms. It was warm and cozy. His hot breath tickled the top of her head as he kissed it. Why are you crying, my love? I’m here. You’re safe.
     
    imeren, saye, beewink and 2 others like this.
  13. GiBro

    GiBro Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2021
    Messages:
    231
    Likes Received:
    732
    Reading List:
    Link
    I was wondering if it was clear what were the three fears (Ryan's fears) shown in this chapter... Was it too subtle or did you get it?
    Also, the next chapters will be essentially smut xD just in case the name of the chapters weren't enough to warn you =P
     
    Isobel likes this.
  14. Riiii

    Riiii Member

    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2021
    Messages:
    12
    Likes Received:
    24
    Reading List:
    Link
    Aahhhhhh this is so sweet im here only. Always waiting for the next chapter release. Also I've had a dream about belle and desmond a few weeks ago.
     
    GiBro likes this.
  15. GiBro

    GiBro Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2021
    Messages:
    231
    Likes Received:
    732
    Reading List:
    Link
    Please, do tell! :blobscream::blobnosebleed:
     
    Last edited: Oct 31, 2021
  16. Isobel

    Isobel Active Member

    Joined:
    Jul 3, 2021
    Messages:
    18
    Likes Received:
    63
    Reading List:
    Link
    Please explain! The fear of having someone care/love him and the fear of himself caring for someone?
     
    saye, GiBro and beewink like this.
  17. GiBro

    GiBro Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2021
    Messages:
    231
    Likes Received:
    732
    Reading List:
    Link
    Basically it:
    The fear of being in love (and in this case I tried to highlight the guilty he felt for realizing he is)
    The fear of wanting her to love him (and feeding that love intentionally, by the way)
    The fear of losing her love (that is a bit more complex, including jealousy, which he already hinted he despises, having someone trying to hurt her to get to him again, and having her not wanting/needing his protection)
     
  18. saye

    saye Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 15, 2021
    Messages:
    48
    Likes Received:
    120
    Reading List:
    Link
    I've been busy with college and work, finally have little time now:p


    only now that you asked I thought about the fears of Ryan shown thus far, I would say it was too subtle in the chapter 10 or simply they were naturally strengthening the facts which were revealed before, not came as a new information. As in :
    1. fear of being in love. as in all his "one-liner" and "Im not your friend, we've a professional protector-victim relationship" facade he tries to build. But then there're these opposing moments where he blatantly leads her on with all these gestures and kisses and everything as if he is just succumbing to his insticts, which are absolutely adorable btw. It seems he enjoys them (i mean boy got butterflies already) , but then start restraining himself because of guilt, concern for her and the overall situation they're in. Considering what he went through in his previous relationship and who he is, I would've been confused and afraid, if I were in his position. +age difference, Belle is barely an adult. which he points out. A LOT.
    2. fear of losing her/getting her hurt by other people (sorry I explain) He cares for her. ALOT. His overproctiveness is shown in numerious occasions with his pals, Magda, Riviera, bitch Andrews, our dEaR CapTaiN WilliAmS, Daniel and pretty much everyone else. But especially how he hates other people trying to come at him by hurting her like in "petty bitchy bitch Andrews" and Captain Williams. Firstly, boy probably dont want two deaths (technically three) on his head, I understand. Secondly, he said in book 1, how he wanted her to stay in his life even after the case is closed. I think Belle is like "sunshine" type of person in his life, for whom he wishes only good things, because thats what that sunshine person provides him, u get what I mean?
    3. i cant seem to find any other tho :(


    I can probably guess the background story between Desmond and Andrews. Correct me, if Im totally wrong.:D
    i would say, when they first met, Andrews actually was attracted to him and tried to seduce him, but failed miserably because our boii either used her for one night and ditched or entirely ignored her ridiculious attempts and ended it by mocking her stupidity and told her about how she is not in his league in every way possible. That thot, in turn, tried to show her supremacy to him by acting all bitchy and petty over the years. tho only her inferiority complex is showing. how did she even go and buy those condoms, excuse me?! and lingerie, too?? :eek::eek:

    P.S : are we finally coming to those long awaited hot scenes? :X3:
    Apart from smut, Im loving those fluff:LOL: I like how our baby Belle is getting bold and how Ryan's facade is falling down. And especially how they're technically a "married couple". I cant wait for them to act like a newlywed, i can already imagine Belle getting anxious and Ryan saving the day with corny lines like "baby, you're little tired, bla" and PDAs with shameless face (y)(y) we love shameless Ryan :love:
     
    beewink and GiBro like this.
  19. GiBro

    GiBro Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2021
    Messages:
    231
    Likes Received:
    732
    Reading List:
    Link
    Aaaah, @saye is back :love::giggle: I've missed you, really ;) hope everything is fine in college and work

    1-Nailed it. The third is kind of merged in your first one.

    2-You're gonna know what you missed and nailed very soon.

    3-Yep, mating season is on :LOL: no, seriously, I think you can guess by the chapter names :p hint: the smut lasts more than one chapter.
    And I hope the other readers think as you do :giggle:

    PS: I'm so happy with your message that I'm gonna post the chapter today, not tomorrow (that and the fact that tomorrow is my day off because it's a holyday here and I'll probably sleep till noon =.)

    TY for your comment :love:
     
    beewink and saye like this.
  20. saye

    saye Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 15, 2021
    Messages:
    48
    Likes Received:
    120
    Reading List:
    Link
    by the 2. fear, you mean he is afraid of his own desire? I guess this was meant to be shown in those frustrating moments after cute fluffs, where he suddenly start building a wall all over again, like "oh no, I cant do this anymore, I cant go any further than this". I could overally list "I love you" and "I hope you love me as well" under "being in love", since being in love needs a two way connection :LOL:. and the fear of those as "fear of being in love". even "i hope you love me" and "i dont wanna lose you" both could work under "losing you". This second fear is quite delicate, I hope you point it out more vividly, not just in a subtle way which could, as I tried to explain, blend into the other two. I think this could show his hunger for her more vividly. I would love that. I kept getting it confused, so it took me a while to finish this comment lol