Novel ✪ Memory Corruption (R-18) (Book 1 and 2 Finished) (Book 3 on release now)

If Louise is between 18 and 19 and Ryan is barely 15, technically Louise has committed statutory rape although many states in US as well as many provinces in Canada have The Romeo and Juliet laws which decriminalize consensual sex between teenagers when one of the two is considered a “minor” and as long as the age gap is not greater than 4 years.
Considering how traumatic that experience was for Ryan, we kind of understand why he told Andrews that he didn’t date older women.

 

Yes, she did since he wasn't yet 15. But they'd indeed fit in Romeo and Juliet clause (which allows relations within five years apart).
Ps: I didn't set a year for the story to happen, but it was 10 years before Belle's story and while Afghanistan war was still going on, so it wasn't considered rape, even though he was under 15 unless there was proof of coercion (yeah, I know it sucks and shocks, but that's how it worked in France before 2021)
A trivia about it, that I don't know if I'll have space to explain in the book: Magda was two years older than Richard. Ryan obviously uses his brother as reference to almost everything in his life, so in his mind if he dated an younger woman or a much older woman, he would be acting akin his own expectations.
Andrews is six years older than him, btw and Magda is 8 years older.

 

I can just imagine little Ryan tagging along with Richard and Magda during some outings
He definitely fits the “spoiled” little brother stereotype.
I hope that we get to know more about the relationship between the 2 brothers. We still don’t know how Richard died, all we know is that they both had been deployed to Afghanistan and Diana was somehow involved directly or indirectly with Richard’s death. We also know that the 2 brothers were not talking and I would really like to know the story behind that. It seems like there could be an entire book written on Ryan’s collection of traumas. And hopefully Belle will have an important role in helping him heal. Here’s an idea for a book title: “Saving Damaged Ryan”

 

I present you flirty Ryan Hope you enjoy it!

Spoiler: Ryan's POV - Chapter 3 - Looking for a little romance (The Lady in Red -Chris De Burgh)

-Ma belle! Je veux un Vesper Martini, deux olives, s'il vous plaît. -He ordered the drink as he leaned beside the girl on the bar counter. He winked at the barwoman, who winked back at him and let out a shy laugh.

The girl was sitting at the bar without any drink or empty glass in front of her. Her red dress made her look like a duchess. He eyed her up and down and sat on the stool beside her. She threw her hair to the side and sighed, turning her head to check the dancing floor and pouting slightly. He creased his eyebrows. Usually she would’ve spotted him already. The barwoman quickly came back with his drink, and started a casual chat with him, in French. Damn… Why did I have to tease you? Get lost, please.

-I don’t mean to offend you, but… You look too young to be here. -She batted her eyelashes at him. -To pick that drink, at least.

-Well, in my country I am still too young to drink… -He didn’t lie, but knew she would assume he was eighteen. -A man has to enjoy the perks that only Paris can provide him, right?

-Where are you from, my young handsome man?

-The great United States of America. -He smiled seductively, not bothering to hide his pride.

He took a glance at the girl, as she turned her head slightly to their side, blatantly paying attention to their conversation. He smirked. Am I gonna have to win you through jealousy, then?

-Hm… And what are those perks you were talking about? -The barwoman leaned over the counter, exposing her cleavage. -I’m Marrie, by the way.

Ryan almost laughed out loud. She had the same name as the daughter of their home maid, and something in her reminded him of her, too.

-Ryan… Pleased to meet you. -He bowed his head and lifted one eyebrow, taking a sip on his drink. -Well, I think the most evident of them would be that we are in “the city of love”… They say anything can happen in Paris.

He looked at the girl and their eyes met. She blushed and looked away quickly. He watched her throw her hair to the other side and cross her legs, clearly embarrassed for being caught leering at him.

-We are, indeed… Well, my not underaged young man… I leave at two a.m.… In case you need a tour to understand why they call this the city of love. -She winked. He couldn’t hold his laugh, but she didn’t seem offended. -Unfortunately, for now, I’m gonna have to work… But if you happen to still be around by then, don’t feel shy to look for me here.

-Oh, if I happen to last till then here, I’ll certainly look for you… Do you stay this late everyday of the week? -She wasn’t wonderful, but he could use her experience. -Just in case I’m around here… I’ll stay until Friday.

She practically revealed all her schedule to him. He caught himself wanting to tell her how dangerous it was, and advising her to never do that again, but bit his tongue and nodded.

Ryan watched the barwoman’s rear as she moved away. Yes, he certainly wouldn’t waste his time if he kept his word. He turned his head toward the girl and his mood dropped. She wasn’t there anymore. He looked around, with his eyebrows creased, an worried expression sprouting in his face. How could he let her get out of his sight so easily?

-Excuse me… Ahm, sorry. -He heard someone calling from his other side. It was a weird accent, certainly not from England or America. He turned and a smile involuntarily sprouted on his lips.

-Oh, hey, beautiful… -He lifted the pick from his drink and pulled an olive to his mouth, using his tongue. She gulped and he smiled at her obvious uneasiness. -Can I help you?

-I’m… I’m sorry, I don’t speak French… Can we try to talk… In English? -She tried. He smirked. So, not French, not American… Where are you from, gorgeous? He nodded, wanting to let her talk a bit more to help him guess her country. She sighed in relief and went on with a half-broken English. -I was thinking… No, wondering if you could ask me a drink…

-Order you a drink. -He corrected her politely. -Sure, what would you like to have?

She clearly hadn’t thought about it. Her eyes darted to the bar, then to his eyes, then to his drink. No, no, baby, this one is too strong for you. I want you sober.

-May I suggest you one? -He held out his hand, offering her help to sit on the stool beside him.

She thought a bit, then nodded. She didn’t take his hand, but sat beside him, still looking at the dance floor from time to time.

-Do you like citric taste? I mean, lemon or orange juice? -He tilted his head, trying to speak slow and clear enough without making her feel mocked. She nodded and he smirked. -I’d suggest sex on the beach if you have a taste for something soft and sweet or between the sheets if you’re looking for something more intense...?

He had to hold his laugh as she blushed from the tip of her nose to her ears, clearly understanding each word he said and getting his intentions. She sighed and took another glance over his shoulder.

-I’m sorry, are you waiting for someone? -He suddenly realized he might be flirting with someone else’s woman. She was indeed too beautiful to be alone.

-Not exactly… My friend came here with me… To comfort me, but she met this guy and… -She clicked her tongue. She sounded uncomfortable because of her accent. -I’m sorry for bothering you, I don’t wanna take your time. I’m gonna try this between the sheets, I already had sex on the beach back in Brazil.

He laughed out loud at her amazing choice of words.

-Ah, you’re from Brazil! - He would've never guessed. She didn’t look Brazilian. He had always heard they were mostly tanned, voluptuous women, with big butts, small tits and dark hair and eyes. She had curly light brown hair, round boobs that he guessed would fit perfectly in his hands, a lean waist and golden greenish eyes. -Sorry for the delayed introduction, my name is Ryan.

-Juliana… Is my name… -She shook her head and blushed as she clearly fumbled the words inside her head. -Nice to meet you…

-Marrie, je veux une Between the Sheets, s'il vous plaît? -He turned it into a question, as she eyed him with a knowing glance. He made sure to watch her mixing it. He didn’t want the girl to get screwed up because of some messy jealousy he might spark on the barwoman. But she did it right and well, and even brought a second glass as a bonus. -Merci, ma belle.

Marrie went away with a giggle and he laughed out loud, looking back at the girl as he slid her drink toward her.

-Here we are, Juliana. -He smiled. -Drink it slow, or you’ll get drunk. It’s a bit strong.

She looked at him as if she would say something, then shook her head to herself and took a sip.

-It’s good, thank you. How much do I... Own you? -She creased her eyebrows, trying to remember the right word.

-Owe me… -He patiently corrected her again. -Nothing, really. Your smile and your company are enough.

She blushed and looked down, taking another sip.

-Drink slower… -He warned her. -Do you have somewhere to go after here?

-Not really… I’ll probably go back to the hotel room, since my friend apparently abandoned me.

Lucky me… He sighed. He blatantly pulled down the glass from her hand as she was lifting it to her mouth again.

-Slower. -He explained. -Talk a bit before the next sip, yes?

She blushed and nodded. He ordered some snacks to share with her just to make sure she would be sober enough to consciously decide if they would leave together by the end of the night.

-So, Juliana… -He was already on his third drink and had drunk her extra glass, while she still took small sips on her first glass. Still, she giggled and blushed as they talked about small things. -Earlier you said your friend was supposed to cheer you up… May I ask what it was about?

-Sorry, Ryan, but you’ve been saying my name wrong all night… You may call me Ju, it’s easier. And it’s Ju, like in… Juice… Not Jo, like in joker. -She finally told him what he had been wondering for hours while he saw her press her lips and look away, holding it. He smiled and nodded. Her English had improved from two to eight as she drank a bit. He was sure she wasn’t drunk, as her pupils were normal and she didn’t give any signs of drowsiness or lack of coordination. -It’s nothing, really, I told her. It’s just that my ex broke up with me, through the phone.

Lucky me again. He held down his smile and scrutinized her face.

-Is it really nothing? -He checked, just to be sure if he hadn’t just spent a bunch of his time over nothing.

She nodded and took another sip. He put her glass down as it was a longer sip that almost emptied it.

-He was a jerk anyway. -She shrugged. -He wasn’t good for me. I guess it was better this way.

-Was it today? -He nodded, trying to show her some empathy. -I broke up with my girlfriend, my ex, this afternoon too.

-Oh, I’m sorry. -She put a hand over his knee.

-Don’t be, I’m not. -He cut her. He checked her eyes again, just to be sure if she hadn’t gotten drunk with that last sip. -I mean, she wasn’t good for me, too. I’m better off without her. Besides, I wouldn’t have met you if it hadn’t happened, so it was already worth it, a lot.

She blushed even more and he leaned forward, giving her a chance to show some sign that they were on the same page. She shyly looked into his eyes and leaned forward too. He took it for a yes and kissed her. She grabbed the sides of her stool and straightened her back. He pulled her stool closer to him and embraced her, putting a hand on her nape and changing their position to be able to explore her mouth more comfortably. She was panting a bit, breathing noisily through her nose. They kissed for a couple of minutes, moving their heads according to her will. He didn’t really like to change direction so much as he thought it was useless and distracting, but he let it slide as her strawberry-like smell and taste were pleasing enough and he liked the feel of her tongue in his.

They parted for a brief moment, but he pulled her to his chest, fitting her stool between his legs. She put her hands to his shoulders. A warning sign. He loosened his grip to her back, but she didn’t give any other sign of wanting to back away from him.

-Hey Ju… -He sighed. -I really liked you.

-Me too. -She sighed too, glancing at the dancing floor. He pulled her to another kiss as soon as she turned back to him, looking at his mouth. This time he slid his hand from her waist toward her butt, testing the waters. She didn’t seem to mind, so he blatantly fondled and squeezed it, making her flinch and let out a small laugh inside his mouth. Nice... He kissed her more passionately and she let out a very shy moan. You obviously want it too, I guess we’re good to go.

-Ju… -He whispered in her ear. -I guess your friend left you.

-I guess she did. -She rested her chin on his shoulder.

-Do you need some company tonight? -He inwardly laughed at his own words. -I mean, do you wanna go somewhere quieter?

-Like my hotel room, Ryan? -She straightened her back to look into his eyes. He nodded and she laughed. -To be honest I never did this and I’m not sure if I should trust you…

He creased his eyebrows. What could he possibly have done to give her the impression he wanted to harm her? But then again, she was right, he could be a crazy rapist. He nodded and looked down.

-But I must admit, I’m wanting to say yes. -She tilted her head and looked sideways.

-Well, it’s your call. -He leaned on the bar counter and made the most innocent face he could. -To be honest, I can be totally yours till lunchtime. We can just stay here making out... If that's enough for you..

-Ah, you have an… An agenda? I have a limited amount of hours to enjoy you, then? -She narrowed her eyes.

-I’m very sorry for that, but I have an appointment. With that guy there. -He pointed toward Richard who was texting, probably talking to Magda. He looked up as if feeling their eyes on him and waved. Ryan waved back. -He’s my brother. If it was something that I could reschedule I certainly would... But I’m afraid you can’t change your birthday.

-Ah, it’s your brother’s birthday? You should go stay with him, then... I wouldn’t want to… To… You know.

-It’s my birthday. -He took his ID out of his pocket and showed her as she looked offended and in disbelief.

-Oh, that’s actually true! -She grinned. -Do you really want to spend your birthday’s morning with a stranger?

-Only if that stranger is you. -He said flirtatiously. -You’re a different kind of strange, you know. Strange, but lovingly attractive…

She blushed at his flattering.

-Let’s go, then, let me just finish my drink. -She moved to turn the glass in her mouth, but he grabbed it and chugged it at once, before she could take it. -Hey!

-Weren’t you the one who was afraid of taking me into your room, assuming I would do something you didn’t want me to? -He lifted one eyebrow. -Don’t get drunk!

She smiled and nodded. Ryan put the last pieces of cheese inside his mouth and got up. He enjoyed the well known sensation of getting up after drinking too much. Numb. That was the right word. It felt better than anything in the whole world, especially after what he felt that afternoon.

-See you, Marrie, my dear. -He called her over his shoulder, in French. -On… Monday? Eight p.m. It’s a date, right?

Marrie narrowed her eyes, but quickly melted it as he blew her a kiss. She nodded and crossed her arms, blowing him a kiss too.

They passed by Richard and he took his phone out, to signal that he would explain it with a text.

Richard looked at his brother, worried. The girl looked something between seventeen and twenty. Either way it would be trouble. Even then, he nodded and grabbed his things to pay his bill and leave for the hotel. He had watched it patiently. Ryan hadn’t drank too much, and hadn’t spent much more than half of the money he had given him. He would have enough to pay for their cab to her apartment, or more likely hotel room, since she didn’t look French, and then back to their hotel.

When his phone rang with the text, he couldn’t help but laugh as he read it. His brother was planning to spend the whole night and part of the morning having sex.

-Ah, the inexperience… -Richard murmured to himself. -I highly doubt that you’re gonna make it to the third round, you cocky little brat.

 

Hello, dear readers
Quick pool:
What would you prefer for Tuesday post:
-Ryan's POV snusnu night
Or
-Chapter 49 (a mix of emotions, I believe )?

 

Both
Kidding, but seriously everything you post is a welcomed blessing. However since we have been getting Ryan’s POV I don’t mind continuing the trend and seeing his POV on snusnu night

 

I'm with @TZia choice

 

Don't forget to breathe

Spoiler: Ryan's POV - Chapter 4 - Working double time (You shook me all night long - ACDC)

As soon as they stepped inside the hotel lobby, Ryan patiently explained the situation to the receptionist that surprisingly let him follow her to her room without charging him for the night, as they had expected to happen. He was a bit confused if the guy was flirting with him or with her, but thanked him politely and got inside the elevator, pulling her behind him by the hand.

As soon as the elevator’s door closed, he took her in his arms and slid his hand under her dress, lifting her leg to his waist.

-Ju, you're driving me crazy, did you know it? -He panted between one kiss and another, enjoying her indecision between pushing him away and pulling him closer. She let out a moan and he held her more firmly, pressing their groins against each other while half sitting her on the handrail under the elevator’s mirror. -God, I'm feeling a terrible urge to pull your dress up and do you right here…

-No, please! -She blushed and pushed him by his shoulder. -Don't.

-Of course I won't. -He sighed, then bit her earlobe and sucked it. Her earring was a nuisance. -It's just wishful thinking, I don't want to embarrass you.

He let her down, as he noticed she was clearly feeling uncomfortable with his direct approach. She gave her back to him and crossed her arms, holding herself, so Ryan began to worry that maybe he had gotten a bit drunk. This shit is taking forever to get to her floor, damn!

He approached her again, from behind, and hugged her, kissing her neck and caressing her arms, gently and softly. She began to melt in his arms again. They practically ran through the corridor and as soon as she opened the door, he pinned her to the wall and began to grope her.

-Tell me if I do anything that you don't like, ok? -He murmured in her ear and kissed her from shoulder to shoulder, then went up her neck and jaw, nibbling a bit. She nodded. -Say “no”, it's fast and you won't have to think much to translate. I'm not saying your English is bad, it's not, I just don't think you'll be in condition to think straight. At least I hope you won't...

He explained as she looked slightly offended. She giggled and he put his hand under her dress again, this time unfastening her bra and pulling her panties down, while he kissed her from her thighs to her ankle, taking first one high heel off, then the other.

He handed her the panties and she took it, blushing, as he took her in his arms and carried her to the bed, kissing her mouth vigorously.

-Ahm, Ryan… -She pulled him after he laid her down and started to climb on her, taking his shirt off. -There's something I need to tell you, I hope you don't get mad… I'll understand if you don't want to do it after knowing about it, but I think you have the right to know…

He paused and stared at her.

-Do you have some disease? -He frowned.

-No! It's nothing like that… -She laughed, embarrassed. -No, it's just that I lied to get into the nightclub… I'm still seventeen.

-Well, I'm still fifteen, so, we're even. -He shrugged and bent to kiss her again.

-I saw your ID… -She pulled him away. -You can't just lie to pretend you don't know. I'm telling you this just so you do it knowing I'm under eighteen...

-I'm not lying, it's a fake ID. The year of my birth is different from my real one, that's all. -He was getting impatient. -And just for the record it would still be alright if I were nineteen, since the age of consent here is fifteen. I would walk away if I weren't underaged and this was illegal, this kind of shit can put one in jail. Forget about it, we both did something wrong, focus on here and now, ok?

-You can't be a kid. -She examined his body. -That's hardly true.

At first he felt outraged by her comment, but then remembered she had been raised in another culture, and it could be something normal to say that kind of thing where she came from. Ryan sighed and took his phone off his pocket. It was past midnight so he had a bunch of congratulatory messages waiting to be read and answered. He scrolled down until he found one that would mention his age.

-Here. Happy?

She read the messages and gasped.

-You're saying the truth! -She looked astonished.

-Telling the truth. -He corrected her. -Yes I am. Please, can we just...

-You don't look and don't act your age. I could guess you were twenty. -She looked confused.

-Well, I knew you were underaged as soon as I laid my eyes on you. -He shrugged. -Is it a deal breaker?

-A what?

-Did you lose interest now that you know my age? -He explained. -Do you wanna give up? Do you want me to leave?

-Of course not! -She frowned.

It was all he needed to hear. He grabbed her by the nape and pulled her for an intense kiss, then opened the button of his pants and zipper and hastily took them off. She trembled a bit as she felt the bare skin of their legs touching and rubbing against each other.

-Wait, there's something I need to know. You said you never did this… Did you mean sex with a stranger or sex, period?

-Sex with a stranger and only for one night. I only had sex with my ex. -She explained.

-Ah, ok, then. -He bent down and kissed her whole body over the dress, groping her all the way down, then came up kissing her again, this time directly on her skin, nibbling and licking here and there as he lifted her dress over her head.

-Why? -She panted, lifting her arms to let him take off her bra.

-Why what? -He whispered in her ear and rubbed a finger between her legs. Her whole body was covered in goosebumps.

-What if I was virgin? -She moaned.

-I would tell you that we should just make out. Did you lie? -He paused, with his finger almost invading her. -Tell me now. Believe me, it's not right or nice to spend your first time like that. You should have it with someone that really cares about you. I'm telling you, you'll feel like shit if you do this with someone random.

Like I did… He savored the bitterness of the unspoken words.

-I'm not virgin, relax. -She sighed. -Why did your girlfriend break up with you right before your birthday? You seem like an amazing guy.

-You should use an “a” before virgin. -Ryan patiently explained. He wondered if she was taking his English lessons as something helpful or annoying. -She didn't. I was the one who dumped her. Because she cheated on me, with a lot of guys, apparently. Don't worry, I used a condom, as I'll do with you…

She shut up and looked away. He couldn't tell what she took from his answer but, right now, the last thing he wanted to think about was Louise. He admired Juliana's body. Comparing the two of them, he couldn't believe he once thought that Louise was hot. And I'm pretty sure I can have someone even better than this… He sighed and grabbed her breasts with both hands. He had guessed it right, they fit perfectly in his hands. He didn't feel like fingering her anymore, he wanted to feel her.

-Do you mind if we skip the foreplays on this first round? -He asked her as he took a condom out of his wallet.

-First round? Will we do it more than once? -She tilted her head.

-If you want to, I feel like doing it until the sun rises. -He smirked. She blushed, then smiled.

Ryan took off his boxers and she stared at him. He saw her eyes go wide, and she laid her head on the pillow, putting a hand to her mouth. He chuckled and put on the condom, this time with much more confidence, approaching her slowly.

-Tell me if you want to change the position or something, ok? -He told her. -Let me know if I'm doing something wrong too.

He pulled her by her thighs to the edge of the bed, making her let out a shy shriek, and rubbed it against her, feeling the moisture. He felt like he could come if he only kept doing it for a while and saw her contorting too, in anticipation. He positioned himself and started pushing it in, very slowly. A crease began to form between her eyebrows.

-Is there something wrong? -He asked her. It was tight. Tighter. But he couldn't guess if it was because he was doing something wrong or if it was a peculiarity from the girl. It felt incredibly better, though. -Ju, tell me, is it good?

Juliana nodded, but he didn't believe her. Unsure about what to do, he decided to do something he had seen once in a porn video. He moistened the tip of his fingers with saliva and started to rub and massage her clitoris, first slowly, then building up speed. He was totally inside her already and her insides kept pressing him and contorting around him.

Ryan moved slowly, in and out and the crease was gone in no time. He tried to keep it slow but as the sensations increased, his hunger for her increased proportionally. She was moaning a couple of minutes later, and before he knew he was pounding on her, fast and deep.

She moaned loudly, very loudly, like a porn actress. For a couple of seconds his confidence dimmed. He had heard before, on more than one occasion, that women often faked it, when the guy was so bad that they wanted it to end quickly. But then she started to squirm under him and dig her nails in his arms and abdomen. It was a delight to watch it. He watched her pant and groan, enjoying even more the particular show than he had been enjoying the wonderful sensation of her insides pressing against him tightly and relaxing, in convulsing movements.

When her moanings started to fade and she looked a bit groggy, he built up speed and let out his own moans, curses and groans, holding her hips and waist firmly as he jerked violently back and forth a few times. He was trembling from head to toes and had to sustain his weight on his arms, since he fell forward when his legs lost strength suddenly. He kissed her mouth and lifted himself from her.

She let out a long moan as he took it out, but he didn't waste time, taking the condom off and leaving it over the bedside table before grabbing his wallet to put on a new one. She eyed his still stiff member and let out a whistle. He just smirked, proud of himself. She reached out and took the filled up condom, shutting it with a knot. Clever... It was a smart solution, although he wouldn't be able to throw its contents away into the toilet this time… But at least it wouldn't spill over everything. She laid back in the bed, crawling toward the pillow and hugging it to her chest. Her long hair was sprawled all over the sheets like a peacock tail.

-How can I say beautiful in Portuguese? -He sighed, devouring her with his eyes.

She lifted her head to look at him, panting a bit, and smiled. He pulled her toward him again, pushing it inside her at once. Without any warnings, he yanked the pillow from her arms and threw it aside. I'm the only one you're gonna hold tonight.

-Bonita. -She groaned.

-Bonita… Too simple. Won't do… How can I say fucking gorgeous? -He bent down, still inside her and put one leg beside her, half lying over her body. Their chests touched and he felt a shockwave of sensations as their hot skins lightly glued to each other. -You're very gorgeous, Ju.

-I'm not sure… I think it would be “gostosa pra caralho”. -She laughed.

He let out a loud laugh at the sound of it. It would take brain not to sound dumb trying to repeat it, and right now, his brain was drained of blood.

-I'll try it later then… -He smirked, biting her jawline. -Hold me, I'm gonna climb onto the bed, my legs are a bit sore.

She did as he told her to, wrapping her legs around his hips and her arms around his neck. He lifted her to his chest, straightening his back, and felt amazing in this position. I actually could get used to it… He sat on the bed, with her still sitting on his lap. She moaned when he took a handful of her buttocks and pressed her against him.

-Is it good like that? -He whispered in her ear.

-Yes. -She moaned, but something felt wrong.

-Am I hurting you, Ju? -He pulled her hair to force her to look into his eyes and she let out another moan. -Is something bothering you?

-No, you're just… Bigger. -She blushed. -It's ok, it's good, just a bit…

-Too tight? Too deep? -He guessed, taking out a bit and trying to keep the movements short, checking if her expression gave away some sign of preference. Nothing changed so he resumed the deep movements that pleased him more. -I want this to be good for you too, tell me what you want… Teach me how to please you.

She looked at him with an awed expression. Her ex-boyfriend certainly never had this consideration toward her.

-I think it's the position… -She said, shyly.

He nodded and slowly pulled her from his lap, then tried to think about what would be the complete opposite position from this one.

-I wanna try something… Tell me if it's good for you. -He pulled her by her hips and guided her so she would get on all fours. The vision of her ass up for him, exposed in its most vulnerable state, gave him shivers. He kissed one of her buttocks, then bit the other. She cringed and let out a low shriek.

He positioned himself behind her, but she looked back and murmured, very timidly.

-Ryan, sorry, I don't want this… I thought I wanted to, but I'm thinking about it, and I don't want to. -She sat on the bed and turned her upper body to face him.

-It's ok, but may I ask you why? -He was genuinely curious. Just the sight of her in that position made him feel extremely aroused.

-Your.. Is bigger than my ex’s. -She seemed very ashamed. -It hurts. I don't like it… There.

-There? -Ryan laughed, finally understanding what she meant. -What did you think I was gonna do? I wanted to try doggy style. Just changing the position, to know if it feels better for you.

She blushed and hid her face, laughing nervously with embarrassment.

-Ah, ok then, but not in my ass, ok? -She got back on the position.

He stared at her ass and thought about it while penetrating her slowly, from behind. What would it feel like? The interest he never had arose strongly. He wondered if it was just because it was forbidden or because he really wanted to know what it felt like.

The position helped, and she didn't feel the discomfort anymore. When she started to move in sync with his movements, wiggling her hips and turning her head to try to look at him, a long moan escaped through his lips.

Ryan surprised himself when he grabbed her hair in one hand, on a messy ponytail, and pulled her toward him. Her back hit his chest hard and he kissed her mouth urgently, moving faster and harder. She let out more screams as before and, after some tremors, melted in his arms. He continued to move, letting the pleasure build up until it became unbearable, falling forward, over her body.

Ryan tried to sustain his weight in his arms, knowing that he was too heavy for her and that it would get hard for her to breathe, but as he lost control of his muscles because of the spasms, he pinned her to the bed and realized she grew horny with that. Still, he rolled to her side and tried to catch his breath.

-Fuck… -He moaned lousily. He wasn't tired, but felt like every move took an abnormal amount of effort. -Are you ok?

Juliana didn’t make a sound, so he reached out and shook her shoulder lightly. Her face was buried on the pillow and she didn't move.

-Ju? Hey! Are you ok? -Cold sweat suddenly damped his forehead. -What's wrong? Are you feeling unwell?

-Não, sorry, I'm ok… -She finally moved, turning her head toward him. -I was just… Enjoying…

He sighed and smiled, brushing the strands of her messy and tangled hair from her forehead. The strands kept gluing to her skin, damped with sweat.

-Let me rest a bit and we can go on, ok? -He sighed, caressing her back and squeezing her butt.

-What? Once more? -She moaned.

-Didn't you like it?

-I did, I'm just tired… -She closed her eyes, to prove her point.

-Please, don't sleep, I still have eight condoms. -He argued and she laughed, taking it as a joke. It wasn't a joke. His goal was to do it ten times that night, or morning. -Don't you want it anymore? Wasn't it good?

She just nodded and ran her hand through his chest, sliding it to his abdomen, then shyly ran a finger over his already swollen penis.

-Just once more then… Then we go to sleep, ok?

He nodded, getting up and taking the condom off again. He made the knot in it and put it beside the other, stimulating himself until he was able to put on the third condom. She started to get on her knees to do doggy style again, but he pulled her by her wrists and sat her in his lap, sitting with his legs out of the bed.

He fit her in and moved, using his hands to lift her up and down by her thighs. It felt like working out, but with ecstatic feelings running through his body every time he lifted or lowered the weight. She was so wet that their movements caused a constant squashing sound, but it was muffled by their frantic breathing and their sporadic moans or sighs. Her back and butt rubbed against his chest and abdomen damped with sweat, and she arched back, leaning her head on his shoulder. He took this opportunity to push his tongue inside her mouth, in a rough kiss. After a couple of minutes like that, he felt the urge to pin her to the bed again.

Still inside her, he took her in his arms and threw themselves toward the bed. He then grabbed both her hands in his, locking them behind her back, and thrust his hips against her, almost violently. As he had predicted she was suddenly full of energy, squirming and moaning. He didn't last long, and before she could come, he was already burying his face on her nape and moaning as he bit her shoulder, hard.

He felt brand new, not giving away even a bit of tiredness. Still, willing to respect her decision, Ryan took off the condom and grabbed the others, along with the empty packages. After disposing of them, he washed himself quickly and went back to bed. Ju was sleeping soundly, hugging the pillow to her chest, wrapped with the sheet from feet to half of her back. Ryan snorted and yanked the pillow from her arms again. If you wanna hold something, hold me! She woke up a bit disoriented. Ryan quickly took the place where the pillow had been seconds before and pulled her to his chest. She smiled and kissed his mouth lightly, hugging his torso. He then stroked her hair and watched her sleep, hearing her soft breathing, until he too fell asleep.

Ps: You might notice some similarities, as @saye once pointed out, if I'm not mistaken... This wasn't unintentional. I might elaborate in a spoiler box later.

 

Where’s the fan? I think that we are hyperventilating here
Teenage Ryan has some natural skills considering he’s still a kid and it’s only his second time??? And yes we definitely see the similarities in some of the moves
So Ju is actually 2 years older than Ryan, Louise was older. Diana also seems to be older although the author never mentioned her age. Question for our author, how old was Samantha? If she was close friends with Andrews and we know that Andrews is 6 years older than Ryan, I suspect that Samantha would be closer to Andrews’ age but I may be wrong.
I can see how Magda had so much to work with and in true “spoiled brat” fashion Ryan probably resisted her help.

 

Please elaborate, we would love to hear more

 

Spoiler: About Juliana

I guess it would be more clear if I posted the next chapter of his POV, but I envisioned Ju as a possible "normal"/healthy relationship he could have had, but was too afraid to, because of Louise.
In other words, she could've easily been his Magda by then. They didn't talk about their plans, he didn't know if she lived in Brazil or in the USA, he never asked.
What I mean to say is they could have been endgame, but he never allowed it to start.
The similarities are in the fact that Ju was mesmerized by him almost as much as Belle is on their first encounter at the school, and he's as physically attracted to her as he was with Belle in the beginning (although if he were to compare the two of them he would say Belle is much more attractive). He doesn't think he can have someone with better lookings than Belle btw (although physical beauty is very relative and not everyone will think Belle is the most beautiful woman in a place... she just has nice proportions for the general preferences)

 

Thank you for elaborating

Spoiler: Thoughts about Ju and other women

I agree that Ju could have been a missed opportunity for Ryan, however I think that he was too messed up at that time to think about another relationship. My sense is that the experience with Louise was too traumatic and certainly shook his willingness to trust again. I remember Magda when she first warned Belle not to mess with Ryan’s head, she also said that she was there for him when he first had his heart broken and when he subsequently broke hearts, so I imagine that after Louise, Ryan went on a “sex” rampage leaving behind a trail of broken hearts
Regarding Belle, I think that she fits the societal norm of “beautiful” but I also think that what makes her so attractive to Ryan is also her mind and her personality. Based on what the author revealed, both Diana and Samantha have physical beauty but lack the inner beauty and consequently were not able to hold Ryan’s interest in the long run. I may have misinterpreted this so please dear author correct me if this is not the case.
Also @GiBro, were all the women who were romantically involved with Ryan older than he was? He seems to look and act older than his age so I could easily see him attracting older women. In fact even Belle thought that he was around 30 and was surprised to find out that he was 26 when she overheard his conversation with one of his superiors when he brought her back to his apartment.

 

All agreed, my dear reader =P

not all were older, since he got involved with girls in military school. I didn't write that part yet, but as I've mentioned before, he had his brother as a reference of how to do it right, and his brother only dated one woman, older than him, so I wouldn't expect him to get involved with someone younger than one year under his age.

today's post is gonna be Chapter 49. It's an intense situation, hope you like it.

 

Patiently waiting for next chapter

 

I'm sorry =\ I'm a bit late, I'm gonna have to post it late today =( probably in two or three hours. Sorry.

 

No need to apologize, a masterpiece takes time

 

Chapter 49 (PS: I've struggled a lot to name this chapter. If you have a better idea, please DM me or write it here. I thought about You Learn, by Alanis, but didn't find a phrase in the lyrics to use, and A jagged little pill seemed too cliché and the part of "you bleed" seemed weird too xD Anyway, help me, please)

Belle was sitting with Carter when it finally happened: Betty held her head up and walked straight to their table.

-Back off… -He snarled. -Leave her alone, Bethany! She hasn't been anything but kind to you.

Betty paused, with her mouth half opened, since he had cut her before she could make any sound.

-She’s more than happy with her husband. Zimner has no chance with her, so you don't have any reason at all to get jealous and hold a grudge against her. -He went on and Belle looked down. The fact that everyone seemed to assume Noah had some romantic or sexual interest in her, even though her friend had never given her any reason to think like that, was unnerving. -Stop blaming others for the mess you’ve made. He’s single. If you want to ask him out, go ahead… But just accept it if he doesn’t want the same as you, this time, instead of trying to destroy him.

Betty glared at him, looking like she had a lot to say, but just took a deep breath and turned to Belle.

-I’d like to apologize to you, Belinda. -She said with a firm voice, and for the first time Belle didn’t find it annoying. Was it possible that the girl was always faking a higher pitch that made her voice sound more nasal than usual? -I thought you were different… I thought you were a fake that didn’t really care about others and just pretended to be nice to get attention.

-Great start for an apology. -Carter rolled his eyes. -Is she bothering you, Belle?

Belle just shook her head and looked up into Betty's eyes for the first time. Magda had told her the girl could be suffering from mythomania. She had asked about it to Noah, but he had insisted she was just mean and lied only to harm people she didn’t get along with. Hanna, on the other hand, had shared a more interesting version, saying the girl didn’t lie, just exaggerated facts and, on the few occasions she had seen her lie, Betty really believed she was telling the truth. This had been the main reason why Hanna had cut her off when she had revealed that Noah hadn’t abused her, since she had felt betrayed by her friend.

-It’s ok, Betty. Thank you for apologizing, I forgive you. -Belle nodded and forced a smile on her face. She was still afraid of what the girl might try to do, to embarrass or hurt Noah, and didn’t want to be used for that purpose.

-You said you like cats and dogs. I’m planning a party to gather donations to help stray animals… -The girl stuttered when Carter rolled his eyes. -We are rescuing them, bathing, neutering, vaccinating and finding a home for them. Do you wanna help?

-It sounds awesome. -This time the smile wasn’t fake. -Yes, I’d like to donate. Please, let me know if I can help with something else.

-You could help us with the animals. Of course I won’t ask you to help bathe them or anything like that, but… -She clearly hadn’t thought about it before and her voice was back to the annoying pitch. -You could help us with the party… Or you could help feed them… Like, we take daily turns.

Carter had finished his meal and brushed his leg on Belle’s knee to call her attention. She frowned at him. He had never touched her without her implied or explicit permission, and never anywhere under her shoulders. When he saw her annoyed expression, he quickly backed away, but still shook his head and tilted his head toward Betty, warning her not to let the girl approach her.

-You wouldn’t have to do something difficult or that could get your hands dirty… -Belle could tell the blond girl was trying to sound empathetic, but it sounded as if she was demeaning her. -You could take some photos with them for the promos… You aren’t ugly, so it could help too.

-No, I don’t like to take photos. -Belle quickly shook her head.

-Besides, she isn’t ugly indeed, she’s a thousand times more beautiful than you. -Carter crossed his arms and looked away.

-Ok, then, but you could come to the party and stay there, petting the dogs, so the boys would want to come too and donate or adopt some of them… -Betty didn’t seem to find his comment offensive and ignored Belle’s red cheeks in reaction.

-I’m allergic. -Belle grimaced with an apologetic smile. -I’m sorry, Betty, I really can’t help with that. But I can donate and I can help you with the organization or something alike.

Betty’s face stiffened.

-There’s no such thing as being allergic to pets! You think you're so smart and that I'm dumb, don't you? -She raised her voice. -I’m trying to be nice, but if you don’t want to be my friend, you could just say it, instead of making things up!

-You are the one who makes things up. She’s allergic to fur. And you got it right, she doesn’t want to be your friend, because you don’t know how to be friends with someone, Bethany. -Carter got up and took his tray. -Are you done, Belle? Let’s go.

Belle didn’t know what to do, so she just pressed her lips and excused herself to leave with him.

-Look… -Betty murmured. -I know I acted wrong with you. Like… I know I was a bit mean to you at first… But I’m sorry, and I want you to be my friend. Can we…

-Bethany, stop! -Carter burst. -What’s your plan this time? Are you gonna try to ruin her reputation here, or mess up with her marriage? What’s the trap this time?

-No, I… I don’t want anything other than to befriend her, I swear. -Betty blushed. -And I’d like to apologize to you too, Carter, but I know you won’t forgive me, so…

-You’re damn right I won’t. -He huffed. -You don’t feel sorry. And you don’t really want to be her…

-I can defend myself, Carter, stop mistreating her. -Belle cut him and sighed. -She says she’s sorry. If you don’t want to accept her apologies, it’s ok, it’s your right to see things like that. But don’t speak for me.

Carter opened his mouth to protest, but just stared at her for a few seconds, then put his tray down, tucked both hands on his pockets and nodded.

-Betty… I’m allergic. You may believe it, you may not believe it. There is nothing I can do about it. -She shrugged and used her hands to emphasize how simple the situation was. -About being friends, I don’t think we have much in common, but I don’t feel anything against you, aside from the fact that you hurt and humiliated my friend. I really think it’s him you should be apologizing to. I won’t help you with him, because I’ve tried to, and you used me to hurt him.

Carter nodded but kept his mouth shut.

-So, you’re sayin, like… If I apologize to Noah, will we be fine? -Betty looked like she was trying to solve a very complex puzzle.

Belle nodded and saw resolve taking over the girl’s face. With nothing but a nod, Betty spun around and strode away, her skirt waving beautifully around her legs. Belle had never noticed how elegant the blond girl looked.

-Carter… -Belle murmured. He raised his eyebrows and stared at her. She could tell he was expecting her to scold him. -Why didn’t you like Betty too? When she liked you, I mean, since you were already best friends…

He pressed his lips and thought about it for a while.

-She’s not my type. -He shrugged.

-Physically? -Belle frowned. -She’s so beautiful…

-Not for me. And her personality is kind of the opposite of what I find attractive. I mean, she used to be cool, but I would never be able to spend my life beside her. And about appearance… -He stopped talking and stared at her, as if deciding if he wanted to go on, but looked down and shook his head. -I really don’t feel comfortable talking about this with you.

She nodded and he turned to lead the way to their class.

The mood with JP and Mia had become weird. Even though she had told him a hundred times that she understood his position about Noah's condition and didn't hold grudges against him for it, JP kept making cow eyes and apologizing every time they met, which made her feel extremely uncomfortable, and eventually she started to avoid being around him. Mia noticed her discomfort and rushed to protect her, which just resulted in huge fights between the two lovers. After the second occasion it happened, Noah started to feel guilty for it, and would make up excuses to leave every time they started an argument.

As a consequence, Belle was back to having either Carter or her own company, since she didn't want Noah to be alone or the couple to end up breaking up because of her. Surprisingly, Belle wasn’t so hurt by her new status. She enjoyed spending time with Carter and didn’t mind being alone, as long as she had music to distract herself.

The problem was that Carter, noticing her isolation, had been neglecting his own friends to pay company to her, not only at lunchtime. Once he had tried to introduce her to them, hoping she would be fine with joining them, but her memories of the football team in her highschool were too fresh and too dark for her to feel comfortable with being around those guys.

If her relationship with her friends was getting colder, with Ryan the situation was the extreme opposite.

Belle was lying on the bed waiting for him. She knew he would come up soon and, even though she knew he would be tired from working nonstop or from his workout, he would invite her to shower with him.

Either powered by the bold attitude of drunken Belle or some natural development, their nights were getting longer as days passed. His passion for her body didn't seem to have an end and her love for him was stronger than ever.

Sometimes she would say “I love you” just to see him smile and answer “I know”.

From holding her waist and kissing her nape, while she tried to keep cooking, to interrupting her shower just to pin her to the wall and leave her breathless, she sometimes felt like he was clinging to her.

She sighed when she remembered the night before. He had been ecstatic. The reason: they had arrested someone in New York who apparently had lived in the “palace”, and he expected the guy to decide to talk.

As a result he had taken her to a fancy restaurant by the sea and had drunk and eaten so much that ended up having to let her drive them home. It was the most difficult test for her driving skills till now, because his hand kept sliding from her thigh to her crotch and after a few minutes on the road he started to insist they should pull over and have sex inside the car. She had never seen him this drunk and inconsequential, so, although she felt curious to know how it would be to do it, she rejected the offer and endured his teasing touch until they got into the condo.

As soon as they passed through the door, Ryan took off their clothes and they had sex leaning over the dinner table, then on the shower, and then twice on the bed, all that without wearing a condom. This time he got upset with her and with himself, saying that since she was sober she could've stopped it and reminded him of it, but admitted his own fault for being irresponsible.

Still, the cold attitude didn't last much, and after Belle took the plan B pill he was back to cuddling and kissing her again.

-Hey. -He greeted her when he got into the bedroom and saw her lying on her stomach reading Ready Player One, another of his favorite books that Carter had recommended to her. He approached her and took one of her feet, which were up in the air as she swung them back and forth, in both hands, massaging it tenderly. -Have I ever told you how sexy you look when you're reading?

-Hey… -She smiled and closed her eyes to enjoy the massage. -Thought you would take forever to come up today… Don't you still have to work out?

-I'm planning to warm up with you right now. -He smirked and pulled her by her thighs so she could face him. -But yeah, afterwards I'm gonna workout.

-Warming up… -She rolled her eyes, then put the book aside and turned off the lamp. -You're too hot already.

Ryan chuckled and climbed on her, kissing her whole body very passionately. He pulled his shirt off her with one movement and kept kissing every inch of her skin.

As Belle started to get impatient, pulling him against her, using her legs and arms, he opened the drawer to get a condom.

-Can't we do it without it? -She murmured. -Just this time?

-No. -Ryan tried to keep his tone neutral and firm, glad that it was too dark for her to see his face.

He wanted it too. Even though he had been very drunk on both occasions, he remembered how it had felt to be inside her, skin to skin, and, besides the sensorial upgrade, some primitive part of him made him feel powerful, as if he could claim her by doing so.

-Why? -She sighed and laid her head over the pillow.

-You could get pregnant. -He tilted his head to illustrate how stupid her question was. -Why don't you want to use it, anyway?

-I'm a bit… Sensible, there, today… -She looked down. It was her turn to avert her eyes. -I thought that maybe without it, it would feel better.

He shook his head again and kissed her forehead.

-If you don't feel like doing it, we shouldn't, Belle. -He said it and tried to pull away from her, but she tightened her grip with her legs. -Don't push your body, if you feel sore it means you need to give it a rest.

-I don't feel sore, just sensitive. And I want it, even if it'll be with a condom. -She wrapped her arms around his neck. -But I don't understand why we can't just do it without it and you get me a pill tomorrow…

-It's called plan B, not plan A. We shouldn't have messed up even once, twice is too much, I won't test my luck thrice. -He looked disconcerted and ashamed.

-What do you mean?

-The pill might fail. And it might harm you too, it's a bomb of hormones. You already suffer from the effects of someone tampering with your hormones, that would be too much.

She thought about it, then nodded.

-Ok, I won't ask for it again, I'm sorry. -Her lower lip protruded against her will. -But even with the discomfort, I still want it.

He smiled and put the condom on, then pushed his finger between her legs just to be sure she wasn't lying to please him.

-Damn, you're soaked. I don't remember having you this wet, it feels like water. -He teased her and she hid her face in his neck. He slid in and she gasped in his ear. -Is it bad?

-No, it's amazing… I love you.

This time it wasn't soft or sweet. With each thrust of his hips he felt her body pulsing with desire and her fingers digging on his back and nape. He started to feel all the signs of climax, but held it back, in hopes of making her reach it too.

-Ryan… -The sound of her voice sent electric pulses through his veins. -Ryan, stop.

What? He halted his movements and looked into her eyes with worry quickly replacing the intense lust inside his head. Did I hurt you?

-Belle? -He wasn't sure if he should take it off or wait for her command. Her face didn't give away any sign of pain, just shame and discomfort.

-I'm sorry, I need to pee… -She whined, clearly embarrassed. -I was trying to hold it, but I think I…

She stopped talking and grimaced, her face turning red.

-You think you…? -He creased his eyebrows. -Are you sure it's pee? Sometimes women mistake orgasm with the urge to pee, it's not unusual.

-No, I know it is… I'm sorry. -She pressed her lips. He took her chin in his hand, silently demanding an explanation for her weird embarrassment, worried about what it might mean. -I'm sorry… I think I couldn't hold it all. I really need to go, please get off.

Realization slowly spread in his face and he ran his hand over the sheet under her, feeling the wetness, then laughed out loud.

-Did you just wet the bed, Belle? -He kept laughing and she pushed him hard to get him off her.

-Shut up. -She murmured, avoiding looking at him. -I'm not sure, but I'm sorry anyway.

He laughed a bit more, helping her sit up and get out of the bed, with her hand pressed between her legs.

-You know, usually people learn to feel when they need to use the toilet around two years old and stop wetting the bed around five… -He mocked her. -You're a bit late, but you'll get there, I believe in your potential.

-Screw you! -She screamed as she slammed the bathroom's door.

Ryan shook his head and chuckled, feeling just a bit guilty as he realized she could be really upset about him mocking her. Still, he couldn't help it. He lit up the lamp on the bedside table and got up to check if he would have to change the sheets.

-Look at the bright side, you've taken another first time of mine… I never had a golden shower bef… Holy shit! -His eyes scanned the sheets and he felt as if he was choking when all the air left his lungs at once. -Belle? Belle!

Belle was paralyzed, staring at her bloodied hand. In fact, everything around looked bloodied. The floor, her hand, her legs, the toilet. Dark blood. The panic she felt when she sat down and saw her hand was still there. She immediately remembered pressing down Bill's belly, trying to stop the blood from gushing out, his face contorting in pain as he shifted back and forth from begging her not to let him die to urging her to get away from Daniel before he could hurt her too.

She felt dizzy, but managed to get a grip to her senses, trying to understand what was happening. Ryan's urgent scream let her know this wasn't a hallucination. This was happening: she was bleeding. A lot. The knocks on the door startled her. They were more like punches.

-Open the door, Isabelle. -His voice was too loud for him to use that name. Ever since they joined the program, he had never used it louder than a murmur. He was desperate, his voice trembling and failing. -Open the fucking door, Belle, for God sake!

-Go away, please. -She didn't know why exactly she was this embarrassed and disgusted about herself, but the last thing she wanted now was to think about the fact that he saw all this.

-You're bleeding. -He stated and she rolled her eyes. You don't say, I hadn't noticed it. -Belle, please, open the door and let's take you to the hospital right away.

-Hospital? -She frowned. -Why a hospital? What are they gonna do?

-You're bleeding.

-I know, Ryan. What are they gonna do? -Belle sighed. She was feeling exhausted and the cramps that had started minutes ago were getting stronger by the second. The dizziness and nausea weren't helping either. -Go away, please, Ryan.

-I won't go anywhere, Belle, open the door. -His voice was changing from pleading to irritated. -I'm gonna put this fucking door down!

-You're gonna hurt me if you do that. -It wasn't true. There was a good space between the door and the toilet, but she hoped he wouldn't remember that. When she heard his low curse she assumed he didn't. -If you really wanna help, bring me the toilet bags, they are in my bathroom.

-What are you gonna do with them? Belle, this isn't normal, please. -She could tell he was leaning his head against the wooden door. -Please, I'm begging you, let me take you to the hospital. This isn't normal.

-How do you know? -She looked down. The bleeding seemed to have stopped, although some of it kept flowing if she pressed her insides. -How can you tell if it's normal or not? Bring my cell phone too, please.

-Really? Are you gonna Google it? What are you gonna type, “I was having sex and now my bed looks like a horror movie's set”? -His mockery offended her to the point she considered opening the door just to shout at him, but she just stayed silent. -Belle… Please. There are dangerous reasons for a woman to bleed like that… We need to check. Please.

-Like what, Ryan? You know a lot about women, so you probably know better than me about this. What could be happening? -She raised her voice when her patience ran out. His silence was disconcerting. -If you can't answer me, then just get me my toilet bags and cell phone, leave them by the door and get away!

He was silent for a while. She pressed down her belly when the pain became too strong.

-Let's negotiate, then. I'll bring you what you want, but you'll let me in, ok? -His voice was tired and weak.

-No. This is already too humiliating. Please, Ryan, have some respect for me.

He cursed low and punched the door again. After some minutes he sighed.

-Ok then, I won't get in, but you'll let me take you to see a doctor after you get more calm. Is that enough?

She thought about it, then let out a grunt of agreement. He walked away cursing low. Belle looked around and decided to try to clean the floor and everything she spotted that she had touched with her bloodied hand, using toilet paper and water. While she tried to wash the blood from her nails, the knock on the door made her jump.

-Leave them at the door and go away. -She murmured. -I want you to talk with me from the corridor, I don't trust you, you'll try to get in.

-I'm gonna take the sheets, to wash them. -He sighed. -I'd really feel better if you let me see you, Belle.

-No.

-It's just blood, why are you acting like that? -His voice was more annoyed than worried. -I swear to God, if taking long to get to the hospital worsens your condition, I'll never forgive you.

-I don't have a condition, what are you talking about? -She was tired and just wanted to wake up from that nightmare. In fact all she wanted was to take a shower and sleep for a whole week.

-You bled like half a gallon. You might need a transfusion.

-Now you're exaggerating a lot. Get out, Ryan.

Ryan let out a frustrated groan and she heard the bedroom’s door banging.

-I don't trust you, I think you're still inside… -She started to complain.

-Fuck you! -She heard him scream from the corridor.

Belle opened the door just enough to get the two toilet bags and her cell phone, then locked it again.

She lined up a tampon, a pad and the cup Magda had bought for her over the counter. After a brief research on the internet she decided the cup was the one she'd feel better using, not only because of the environmental advantage, but because she was extremely ashamed about the idea of leaving evidence behind of what was happening to her.

After reading the manual, though, she gave up and put a pad on, unwilling to ask Ryan to boil it for her.

The shower worked like magic to soothe the cramps and she felt more relaxed and confident about her situation. The bleeding was under control, and although it was the weirdest experience ever, she was convinced she could live with it for a few days.

-Hey… -He sighed when he saw her leaving the bathroom. -How are you feeling? Are you in pain?

Belle looked behind him. The bed was empty, except for a linen cloth.

-Did I ruin the mattress? -She creased her eyebrows.

-It's just blood. -He shrugged but she looked down, feeling ashamed. -Fuck the mattress, I'm worried about you. How are you feeling?

-I need to change my panties… -She looked away and rushed to the closet. -I'm ok, I don't need to go to the hospital, ok?

-Belle… -He took her wrist and pulled it to make her face him. -If you don't go willingly, I'm gonna have to… Please. I'm trying to be reasonable.

-I know you’ll feel bad having to drive me to the hospital. -She frowned.

-Belle, I need you to check what's wrong with you. Please. -The torture he was going through was all too evident in his eyes.

She thought about it. If there was something wrong with her, taking long to check it could mean turning into a heavier burden. Her eyes moved to the backpack beside his leg and she frowned.

-I've packed some clothes for you and for me, just in case they hospitalize you. -He shrugged and she rolled her eyes. He was taking this really seriously.

-I just need to do something in the kitchen, then I'll change and we can go, ok? -She nodded and twisted her wrist to make him let go of her.

She put on his shirt and headed for the door without waiting for his reply.

-What do you need in the kitchen? I can get it for you. -Ryan moved to block her way and huffed when she just shook her head. -What the fuck is going on, Isabelle? I just don't want you to climb stairs unnecessarily.

She glared at him and rushed out of the room, clutching the toilet bag to her chest. For her disgrace he followed her close. There was no point in telling him to stay away, so she just accepted he would be huffing on her nape all the way down.

-Do you want me to make you tea? You could've asked… -He murmured when he saw her putting water to boil. -Belle, talk to me, please…

He hugged her from behind and she instinctively leaned on him, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. His hands slid under her shirt and covered her lower abdomen. The warmth of them felt good.

-What are you doing, a potion? Is it part of the satanic ritual you started upstairs? -He whispered in her ear, trying to sound funny. She huffed and pushed his hands away. -Belle, whatever it is, it can wait or I can do it for you. Please, go get dressed so I can take you to the hospital.

-I'm embarrassed, Ryan. Can you, please, give me a bit of privacy? I'll go with you after I'm done here.

-I won't tell anyone, you don't have to feel embarrassed.

She averted her eyes and showed him the cup, feeling her cheeks burn.

-Hell, no. -He reached out and turned off the flame. -You're not putting anything inside you until you're sure it's ok, are you crazy? Let's go to the hospital right away. You're unbelievable, Belle! Leave it there, let's go.

She stopped to think about the possibility of it being worse than just her first period, realizing that maybe he did know better than her about it. He stared at her with an annoyed glare and she nodded, pressing her lips.

 

That was intense! I wonder if this is Belle’s first period or the side effects of Plan B pill. Either way it’s a stressful situation for both!

 

While we are waiting for the next update, I re-read chapter 49 and wanted to congratulate our author @GiBro for working her usual magic. Assuming that this is in fact Belle’s first period, the author portrayed beautifully Belle’s reaction of embarrassment and shame to her bleeding. Most women can remember their first period, it’s a time of angst, mixed emotions and a very private experience. Most teenage girls also have the support of their mom or older sister to help them navigate this experience. In Belle’s case, she is no longer a teenager but a young 20 year old woman and it wasn’t a very private affair with Ryan being witness to it in the most inopportune time (while having sex). While he was worried about her and tried to be supportive, I think that we all would cringe if we experienced the same situation. And in the midst of that intense and somewhat chaotic incident the author casually slips in a gem:
“She immediately remembered pressing down Bill's belly, trying to stop the blood from gushing out, his face contorting in pain as he shifted back and forth from begging her not to let him die to urging her to get away from Daniel before he could hurt her too.”
If I recall correctly from Book 1, Belle had no recollection of the night that Bill was murdered, so this is HUGE! I wonder if this incident will trigger more memories?
I also think that Ryan was really cute when he reassured her that this was nothing to be embarrassed about. Not only is he a Papa Wolf but here he was also acting like Mama Bear
Now regarding the bleeding episode itself, I think that there are 3 possible explanations:1) Belle had her period, 2) side effects of Plan B pill or 3) chemical pregnancy (early miscarriage), but that will be another post if anyone is interested
I can’t help but chuckle when I think of how the assessment will go in the hospital. Belle is a sexually-active young woman and the first question she will be asked by the ER triage nurse is the date of her last period. It will be interesting to see how that conversation goes

 

Chapter 50


After waiting for a while, they were finally called inside the doctor's office. Ryan was acting like an angry bear, nagging at every nurse and complaining about the wait. Belle understood pretty well why they had waited this long. She looked fine. She actually felt fine and was starting to think this was all very stupid.

When she told him she didn't want him to come in with her, he glared at her, but nodded and stood by the door. She wanted to tell him to walk away, but felt uneasy about drawing even more attention to them, since the whole floor was pretty aware of the presence of the handsome prick that had been complaining and cursing for more than a hour. Still, she also knew he would hear everything that happened inside the room if he stood there.

-Ryan… Privacy, please. -She whispered.

-You're kidding me, right? I know what goes on down there better than you. -He scoffed at her, but when she gasped he looked down and pressed his lips. -I'm worried about you.

-I know, but I don't want you to… I want to feel comfortable enough to talk with the doctor, knowing you're not here listening to it.

-Why? Are you gonna talk about me? -He frowned. -Did I hurt you?

When she just crossed her arms and leaned on the doorway with an annoyed face, he nodded and backed away, walking down the corridor to take a seat. She got out of the room fifteen or twenty minutes later. Ryan got to his feet and strode toward her.

-So? What was it? -He didn't even let her have time to talk to the nurse.

-Everything is fine. -She averted her eyes. -Please, lower your voice. I'm ok… “There”. She said everything is ok, but she wants to check those tests, because she's worried that this was my first time… You know…

-No, I don't know. This isn't just a normal period, if that's what she said it is. -He took her hand and started to drag her back to the office. -You didn't explain it right, let's go back there and I'll explain it to her. You should have told her about how much blood you've…

-I told her about it, but she said it might have been the plan B pills. -He halted and looked at her with wide eyes. -It might also be something wrong with me, but she told me not to worry, to take the tests and let her check the results first.

-Wrong like what? -He shook his head slightly. -Did she tell you what it might be?

Belle narrowed her eyes and tilted her head, looking straight into his eyes. A nurse passed by them and she politely asked for instructions for the exams. While they waited for them to call her in, Ryan kept pressing her to talk about what the doctor had told her.

-What do you think this might be, Ryan? It looks like you have a theory. Does it have anything to do with Samantha?

-What? Screw Samantha, why would you think about her now? -He shook his head.

-Do you think I'm pregnant? Is that why you're acting like that? -She looked up at the ceiling, trying to sound calm. -Because if it is, don't worry, she said it's unlikely. And I'm gonna be tested for that too, so, if you don't believe us, wait for the results before you freak out.

Ryan looked disconcerted, but took her hand and kissed it, holding it tenderly.

-I'm not gonna lie, miscarriage was my first guess. -He bent forward and leaned on his knees with his forearms. -But now that I think about it, if it had been it, you'd be getting worse now, not better.

-You're probably right, and I'm sure I wasn't pregnant. -She rolled her eyes when he frowned at her. -What else are you worried about?

He hesitated, but she insisted until he murmured.

-Cancer is a possibility, also. Or some infection. And I might have harmed you, with the rough sex shit. -He stared at his hands. -I shouldn't have done that. I knew I could hurt you.

Belle opened her mouth to tell him something, but just leaned her head over his shoulder instead. Ryan moved to wrap his arms around her waist and head, pulling her upper body to his chest.

-Miss Belinda Herrera? -A voice called her. Ryan got up with her but sat back down as soon as she looked at him with a questioning look.

-Your mood is awful today. -He grumbled as she turned her back to him.

-I've learned from the best. -She murmured to herself, knowing he would hear it perfectly.

When she got out of the doctor's office, he examined her face and creased his eyebrows.

-Say something, motherfucker. -He demanded when she just stared at him with gloomy eyes for a couple of minutes.

-I'm ok. I have to stop by a pharmacy… -She wiggled a piece of paper folded in half. -I'm getting on birth control pills.

-Ok, but that's not what I want to know. What happened? Why did that happen? -He dismissed the paper. -What's wrong with you?

She looked at him, then away, but knew he wouldn't rest until he had a complete answer, so she just pinned the papers to his chest and walked away as soon as he held them.

-I have cysts in my ovary. -She turned her head slightly while they walked down the corridor and he read the papers very carefully. -But she said the one that ruptured wasn't that big and I'll heal. Apparently I don't have risks of having another rupture. I'm gonna have to check it periodically.

He followed her with a crease between his eyebrows, impressed with her nonchalant tone while she talked about it. It sounded like a businessman talking about stocks.

-And… Why do you have cysts? -He tried to keep his voice neutral. -And how come you didn't know you had them if you've seen so many doctors before?

-I probably have them because of the cocaine. And I knew I had them. What nobody told me before was that they could grow. -She sighed. -Ryan, I really don't feel comfortable talking about this with you…

-And I really feel like it's my problem too, Belle. -He shook his head. -Did I cause the rupture? Was that why you looked at me that way?

-Ryan… -She finally stopped and stared at him. -It wasn't even that bad. She said I endured the pain too well for it to be considered worrisome. And I didn't bleed that much, we were both just startled by the fact I was bleeding. Check the exams if you don't believe me!

She frowned at him when he rolled his eyes and shook his head.

-About sex, it could've happened if I was working out, for example. It wasn't your fault and I don't want you to go back to mistreating me because of something neither of us have any control over!

He understood, at last, why she had been avoiding the subject and stared at her for a couple of minutes, looking like he wanted to tell her something. Then he just nodded and held her to his chest, stroking her hair and kissing the top of her head.

-That won't happen, I'm sorry. -He murmured. -Don't worry about it…

She felt glad and held him too, clutching at his shirt.

-Look at the bright side, now we don't need condoms anymore. -She poked the paper with her index finger.

-Not true. It's not a hundred percent guarantee and you might mess up with the administration times. We won't stop using condoms. -He shook his head and she pouted.

That night he brought a warm bag for her, to put over her belly, and hot camomile tea. She felt pampered and when he laid behind her and put both hands over her lower abdomen, massaging it slightly, her increasing irritation toward him practically vanished.

The next morning, as soon as she spotted Mia, she ran to her and dragged her to the bathroom. She explained what had happened, omitting the embarrassing and critical parts, like the fact she had been drugged for years, and Mia looked at her with an empathetic smile.

-I hope you won't go through it ever again, Belle. But I have to say, it's weird that you had delayed puberty… Your body is perfect.

-I don't think one thing has anything to do with the other. -Belle blushed. -Anyway, I needed your advice about something…

After talking about period supplies, she came to the conclusion the cup was the best alternative. Belle thanked Magda a hundred times in her mind while Mia ranted about messy situations she had gone through with other types of supplies, and advised her on how to prevent having trouble with the use of the cup.

Belle texted Ryan, telling him she would go to the mall after classes, and JP took a nap inside the car while the three girls went to the mall to buy period panties for Belle, since Mia was worried about her lack of experience with the cup and told her it would help avoid leaking. They didn't talk much about it in front of Betty, though, and she didn't ask. Before they could hold themselves, the three of them were buying dresses (including some sleeveless ones for Belle, since she had decided to make the tattoo), jewels and shoes. JP groaned when he saw them coming packed with shopping bags and got out of the car with a gloomy mood to put them inside the trunk.

-Hey… -Ryan came out of his study to greet her and frowned when he saw her getting in with both arms loaded with shopping bags. He rushed to take them upstairs for her. -Should I be worried that you're gonna start to behave as a normal woman from now on?

-That's sexist and offensive on so many levels, so I'm gonna ignore it for the sake of our coexistence, ok? -She scolded him. -I just took the opportunity to buy some things for myself.

-I was just teasing you, Mardy Bum. -He turned to her after putting the bags down inside the closet. -Chill out, you've been a bit too tough with me these days.

-Mardy Bum? -She creased her eyebrows and crossed her arms.

Ryan sang the first strophes from the Arctic Monkeys single and her jaw dropped. When he noticed it his ears turned red and he tried to walk by her to leave, but she moved to block him and pulled him for a kiss, feeling her heart flutter.

He took her in his arms and sat on the bed, kissing and fondling her back and thighs.

-You have a lovely voice. -She smiled from ear to ear.

-Screw you. -He rolled his eyes.

-I'm not kidding, I loved it. -She didn't get why he thought she was mocking him. -Thank you for letting me hear it.

-Are you in pain? -He sighed, trying to change the subject.

She shook her head and he reached out to hug her by her waist, but she backed away.

-I still need to prepare lunch and do the laundry. -She turned to leave the room. -And I don't feel ok with having sex in this state.

-I already did the laundry while you were away and I'm gonna take care of your diet during this week. It's almost ready, by the way. -He put his hands on her shoulders and led her to the bathroom. -Go take care of your bloody cup, I'm gonna set the table for you.

-Why is that? Why are you gonna cook? -She tried to turn around but he didn't stop pushing her until they reached the bathroom's door.

-Because I can't take your mood anymore. -He shrugged. -And I want you to rest. I still don't believe it's ok that you lost that amount of blood at once, I think you might get sick.

-And how being treated like I'm disabled is gonna help with my mood? -She was getting even more annoyed.

-I'm not treating you like… Look, I'm trying to do something nice for you, stop complaining. -He sighed. -Do your things and come to the table, ok?

Then he walked away and she immediately realized she was being harsh on him without enough reasons. When she got downstairs she decided she would think twice before answering him next time she got annoyed, to firstly understand if her bad mood had been caused by him or by her hormones.

During the week, he fed her more salmon than she had ever remembered eating in a roll. There were also eggs every morning, lots of fruits and dark vegetables in all meals. And chocolate. A lot of chocolate of all types, sizes and brands. By the end of the week she had eaten so much chocolate that her temples had pimples. He advised her not to mess with them and after a brief research she thanked him for the warning her mother had never given her.

Before they went to bed, he would bring tea for her every night, along with a warm bag, then would cuddle her from behind, keeping at least one hand over her lower abdomen while groping her with the other. She didn't have any cramps again and her mood got significantly better as days passed.

-Oh, it still exists. -Carter smiled and nodded toward her.

Belle looked up from her food with a questioning face.

-Your smile. I was afraid I would never see it again. -He lifted one shoulder and she flipped him off, but smiled wider. -There it is! Good to know that whatever happened is finally over. Wanna talk about it?

-Not really. -She shook her head and he nodded. -But everything is fine, don't worry.

-I know. -He kept nodding. -But if there's anything I can do, you can count on me, ok?

Belle stared at him, not knowing what to say. She didn't feel like they were close friends, at least not as much as she used to feel close to Bill, Daniel and even to Noah. They didn't share personal information, didn't discuss over things one didn't agree with the other, and they both avoided exaggerated compliments or unnecessary touching. To her it was all too clear that he only spent time with her because he knew she would be isolated otherwise, and probably felt guilty about leaving her alone.

-Hm… Thanks, Carter, I'm here for you too, if you need me. -She stared at the bottom of her glass.

-I know. -He sounded as disconcerted as her, then cleared his throat and tapped on the table. -So… I won't have the last two classes tomorrow, and I have to set some things up with the team now… We'll play tomorrow at night, will you come to see us?

Belle hesitated, inclined to shake her head.

-Bring your husband too. I promise you he'll be anything but bored if he comes. -He bit the inside of his cheek. -It's an important game… It would mean a lot to me, to have your support.

-Sure. -She nodded. He smiled kindly and got up to leave. -See you.

Carter rushed out of the restaurant and she walked alone to her class, wondering why she felt like Noah was more of a friend than him.

-I can't go with you, Belle. -Ryan sighed. -Lucas will need my help with something tomorrow, and, to be honest, I don't want you to go either. I could hire someone to keep an eye on you, but I don't like the idea of you driving there alone and even less of you being with Noah or JP at night outside the condo. Why do you want to go, anyway? You don't even like football…

-A friend will play… He invited me and I kind of promised him I'll be there…

-Which friend? -He finally took his eyes from the screen and she could swear his frown was full of jealousy. -I really wouldn't expect you to blend in with the football team.

-I'm friends only with him. Carter. -She pressed her lips at his lack of empathy when he referred to her horrible experience. -You've met him, it's the blond…

-Oh, yeah, Ryan H. P. Carter… I didn't know you were friends. I like him. Besides his ex being a psychopath, and I'm not talking about Bethany, he seems neat as a button. -He nodded. -That, and the fact that he once broke Aaron’s nose, and got away with it.

Belle didn't know Carter’s first name was Ryan. And didn't have any idea that he had once engaged in a fight with Noah's half brother. Maybe they weren't friends at all.

-He's been paying me company since I've been trying to reduce my time around Noah.

-One more point for him, then. -Ryan nodded and resumed his task on his computer. -Did he show any physical interest in you? Or romantic on any level?

She shook her head but he didn't look up.

-Never. -She murmured.

-I like him. -He nodded. -But I'd really appreciate it if you didn't go.

-Ok… -She pouted and walked away.

The next day she didn't meet Carter. He didn't look for her to walk her to classes and didn't show up at their usual restaurant for that weekday. She asked about him to Mia, Noah and JP, but they didn't know where he could be. Betty approached her and poked at her scarred forearm over her sleeve. Belle involuntarily took a few steps away from her.

-I just heard that you were looking for Carter. You won't find him. -Betty's annoying voice lowered a bit. -They have a tradition before every game, so he went out of the campus with the team. He won't come back till one hour before the game.

-Oh, thank you. -Belle smiled sincerely. -Do you happen to have his phone number? I need to tell him that I won't make it to the game tonight… I won't be able to come here.

-I could drive you. -Betty smiled.

-I didn't know you drove. Do you have a car? -Belle tilted her head.

-My father has three cars, he'll lend me one. I don't have a car because my father grounded me and took my Porsche away when I told him the truth about Noah. -The disgust in her face when she talked about the Porsche being taken away almost made Belle laugh. -I know he didn't really do it because of the lie. He did it because he was afraid that I would run away or something.

Belle just stared at her for a few seconds, only now realizing she didn't know anything about the girl, aside from the fact that she had gathered enemies all around the campus because of her lies.

-So? Will we come together?

-No, I'm sorry, my husband will need me. I really can't come. -She saw the girl's face stiffen and added. -You may believe me or not, Betty, I really can't come and it has nothing to do with you.

-Ok then. -Betty nodded. -I don't have his number. But I'll come to watch them, so I can try to explain to Carter why you won't come.

Belle felt uneasy about trusting the girl with it, but nodded.

-Tell him there was an emergency with one of Ryan's clients and he needs me to be there with him.

Betty nodded and Belle walked away to her last class, worried that the girl could use her to get closer to Carter again.

The next morning the boy passed by her, without greeting her, blatantly lowering his head to avoid her.

-Carter? Hey… -She called him. He stopped, then looked down and sighed, before turning to face her.

-What, Belinda? -He grunted.

-What happened? -She asked cautiously. It was the first time he acted anything near cold with her. -How was the game?

-We lost. And thank you for sending Betty to the locker room after me right before the game. She said it was urgent, that it was about you... I got worried and argued with the coach to either let her in or let me out, and turns out it was just a stupid excuse for your no-show! -He ranted. -I'm suspended for the next game. Thank you so much.

Belle didn't know what to say. Her cheeks were burning and she wanted to tell him she was sorry but at the same time didn't think it was completely her fault.

-I'm sorry, Carter, I didn't know… -She murmured.

-I told you not to get near her. -He huffed. -God, I told you, that girl is so mean! I'm sorry for being this mad at you, but you… I'm sorry, there's no gentle way of saying this, you screwed me over, badly!

Belle pressed her lips and nodded. He sighed and his expression lost a lot of the anger.

-I'm really sorry, Carter. Is there anything I can do to mend it?

-I need some time to cool my head. -He shook his head. -Please keep her away from me. Don't ever send her to me again, ok? That was so messed up…

-I'm sorry.

-I know. -He faked a smile and ran his hand through his hair, then threw his head back to keep the strands from his eyes. -Sorry for being rude. I really wanted to talk to you only after I got my shit together. I didn't mean to treat you like that... Take care, Belle, see you next week.

And before she could answer, he walked away with his head low.