Novel ✪ Memory Corruption (R-18) (Book 1 and 2 Finished) (Book 3 on release now)

Discussion in 'Community Fictions' started by GiBro, Jul 2, 2021.

  1. saye

    saye Well-Known Member

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    i thought about it quite a bit and I would say Magda is doing god's job right here. It feels like she's warning Belle to keep an "appropriate" distance since they both seem head over heels for each other. not because Ryan is the ultimate bad guy, because an unhealthy obsession/love would lead to tragedy for both of them? like Ryan with Samantha and Belle with her friends?
    I think in a way Magda is urging her to keep asking smart questions during conversations with Ryan which would also help him to get out of protective shells around him. I mean its for the best.
    or am I just reading too much into it?? :oops:

     
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  2. GiBro

    GiBro Well-Known Member

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    What, are looking for spoilers? =. I'll make some revelations after the first book is finished about backgrounds that won't spoiler the next one, then I can answer your question=P
     
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  3. saye

    saye Well-Known Member

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    until then I can only entertain my thoughts about them developing healthy bond with a help from Magda, then


     
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  4. GiBro

    GiBro Well-Known Member

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    Good Morning! I'm back, and I'm fine ;)

    Gonna resume posting tomorrow! :love: Hope you're all well and safe.
     
  5. Isobel

    Isobel Active Member

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    Yay!!! Glad to hear you are feeling better. That last chapter was so much info I can’t wait to find out more.

    Also over here patiently waiting for the chapter to pop up that you posted on the UOT spoiler thread and to finally get the 2nd part:giggle:;)
     
    Last edited: Jul 30, 2021
  6. beewink

    beewink Well-Known Member

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    I think we are ALL waiting for "that" chapter ;):aww: **fans self. . .
     
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  7. GiBro

    GiBro Well-Known Member

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    I must confess that sometime I reread some of the chapters I have written for the second book and I have to fan myself too =P
     
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  8. beewink

    beewink Well-Known Member

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    Oh my word!!! I can already sense a fan is just not going to cut it :blobwink:
     
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  9. GiBro

    GiBro Well-Known Member

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    Chapter 27


    Belle glared at Magda's back.

    She wasn't just confused, she was annoyed too. How could that woman say those things, and then just get up to take her bag upstairs, as if it had meant nothing? More than that, how could she attempt to destroy her paradise and then turn her back on her, knowing about the battle she had been fighting for a week now?

    Her hands were shaking with the idea that Desmond might not be thinking about her well being by taking her to stay at his place. Was his objective to manipulate her into doing something? Paranoia arose, but this time she didn't have the strength to fight it.

    She sat with her back straight and tried to be rational. He was an FBI agent. This was certainly true. She and everyone at the school saw his badge. He certainly had to show documents and there was the warrant too. She hadn't been able to validate the one he gave her, because he took her phone away, but the principal’s assistant certainly did it with the ones they got.

    He had the NYPD, the JTTF and the FBI aware about her being in his house… Or not. She couldn't be sure. He took her to the precinct, but she never talked to anyone else besides him. Even at the night of Chloe's escape, he never let anyone get near her besides the paramedic and even then, he was always very close, listening, and intervening a lot every time the questions were not about what she was feeling.

    But what about the conference? The one where he revealed about the drugs and how dangerous Daniel was. She never heard a sound of anyone else on that call, he could easily be acting.

    She tried to convince herself that it was just a symptom, that she was paranoid because her brain wasn't working properly, but it only made things worse. She put her elbows on the table and clenched her fists on her hair.

    What if it was all a plan to make her talk? What if she had been played, what if there were no drugs on her pills, what if Bill's death, the car chase and the rest were nothing but an act? She tried to recall everything that happened in the last few days.

    What if Bill wasn't dead? What if Desmond created the story only to frighten her, and asked the cop to tell her he was dead? Hope began to rise up in her chest but it soon collapsed. It wasn't possible, as Daniel had confirmed his death at the cafe…

    But the car chase, he could have plotted to scare her and make her think she was in danger so she would accept staying with him. But then all those cops and the mafia Japanese guy would have to be in for it. Besides, at the time he said he believed they were trying to get her, not kill her, until he saw Chloe cutting her throat and pushing her from a deadly height. She lifted her hand and caressed the small cut in her neck that was almost healed.

    She tried to overcome the panic, breathing deep and closing her eyes. There's little or no evidence that he had been lying for her.
    She frowned as she began to clean the table, taking the dishes to put them in the sink.

    What about the crash? Thinking about it, her symptoms started only after she had a meal in his house. She looked down at the empty plates. Desmond seemed to know a lot about drugs… What if he were the one drugging her and causing the symptoms? She shook her head, realizing all those conspiratorial thoughts were ridiculous and nonsensical.

    Desmond liked her, perhaps more than he intended to. She smiled as she recalled how many times he used the words “care for”, when trying to explain how he felt about her. It was stupid to stop trusting him just because of Magda's biased impression about their relationship. Still… There was a whirlwind inside of her head. It made her feel the urge to throw the dishes at the wall.

    -Stop! You're not a crazy person, just stop! -She murmured to herself, just then realizing how much crazier that made her look. She rinsed the plates and piled them up, controlling her urges.

    -What are you doing? -Magda came into the kitchen and served herself a glass of water.

    -Do you happen to know where Desmond keeps the sponge and soap? -Belle tried to control herself not to glare at her, since she was still bothered by their conversation.

    -Why are you doing that? Marrie can wash it tomorrow. Let's go upstairs and talk about what happened to you this afternoon. -The woman made a face.

    -Desmond doesn't want me to go upstairs without him. -She wiped her hands and crossed her arms, turning in her direction.

    -Is that so? And why is that? -There was a mocking smile in Magda's tone.

    -Because he's afraid I might get hurt on the stairs. -Belle blushed. -Like falling or forcing my ankle.

    -Nonsense. Come on, let's go upstairs. I'll bring his bedding and we can stay in his bedroom. -She dismissed it with a wave of her hand, then laughed. -Do you want me to carry you piggyback?

    Belle felt uneasy. She didn't want to disobey his orders, but couldn't find a way to explain it without sounding submissive and childish. She didn't really believe she could get hurt by climbing up the stairs. After considering it, she sighed and led the way.

    Magda stepped right behind her as she climbed step after step, sustaining most of her weight in the handrail, as she was very afraid of hurting herself and having Desmond disappointed in her.

    -I wanna take a shower. -She declared as they walked down the corridor toward the room.

    -Ok, Ryan left clothes for you over the bed. -The woman smiled. -How are you feeling?

    Terrible, now that you made me feel like an idiot paranoid and suspect of the only person I trust in. She wanted to reply, but just shrugged.

    -Leave the door unlocked. Ryan told me not to let you fill the bathtub. I'm not your nanny, so I won't come and check on you. You're not a child, you know what's wrong and what's right. -She told her, with a finger lifted. -I'm gonna take a shower too, downstairs. Or do you think you're gonna need me?

    -No, thank you. -She replied, coldly.

    Magda smirked and shook her head, eyeing her from under her eyelashes.

    -You know that when you point a finger toward someone, you are actually pointing three back at yourself, right? -She chuckled. -If you're annoyed because I told you the truth, maybe you should check how you feel about hiding that truth from yourself. Don't try to complicate things. There's not a secret in what I told you, you already knew it, you were just trying to hide it from yourself, for fear or convenience.

    -Ok, that's enough! -Belle raised her voice, getting to her limit. -Desmond cares about me!

    -And who told you anything different from it? -Magda put her hands to her waist, with an amused expression.

    -You! -She pointed a finger at her face, but then remembered the woman's words and put her hand down in a fist. -You said he'd been lying and deceiving me!

    -No I didn't. -The woman replied, calmly.

    -You said he doesn't care about me! What? -Belle realized she was shouting and lowered her voice. -What did you say?

    -I never said that Ryan lied to you. I never said that he's deceiving you and I'd never say that he doesn't care about you, even if I were to lie about it, because until now I thought you were smart enough to know at least this. -She frowned. -I know they say love is blind, but deaf and dumb is a bit too much.

    -What did you mean then? -Belle's voice trembled as her cheeks started to burn. -And I don't love him.

    -What do you think I meant? -She lifted one eyebrow, ignoring the rest of what she said. -Use that big brain of yours. Try to remember how we actually started our conversation. Now if you excuse me, I'm here to help you, not to fix you.

    Magda turned on her heels and got into the room. Belle stood there, frowning. Am I going crazy?

    -No, you can't just say things that hurt me and walk away! -She followed the woman. -What did you mean when you said those things about Desmond, then?

    -I said a lot of things about Ryan. But the point isn't what I said about him, is what I asked about you. -Magda retrieved one small toiletry bag and some clothes from inside her bag and headed for the door. -Not everything is about Ryan. You should try to learn that too.

    -What then? What about me? -Belle followed her through the corridor. -Why don't you just tell me what I need to know?

    -Because. -Magda paused in front of the stairs. -Because if I just tell you something, you're gonna have to trust my judgement instead of developing your own capacity for deciding for yourself. You should be able to identify what you want, what you could, what you should, what you have to and what you need by now. Decisions based exclusively on hope or fear hardly are the best ones. Decisions based exclusively on trust in someone's else's beliefs are always the worst ones.

    Magda didn't wait for her reply, and walked down the stairs, knowing that Belle wouldn't follow.

    -Remember this, my dear: Blind trust is the mother of deceit.

    Belle squinted her eyes, then took the clothes that Desmond left for her in the bedroom and got in the shower. She tried to decipher the woman’s riddle. Was she implying she was the one that was doing something wrong to Desmond?

    No, she said it wasn't about Desmond. Belle sighed and wished the symptoms would disappear all at once. This way she would be able to trust her logic.

    She shoved the thoughts from her mind, deciding that whatever it was, it was causing more harm than good. For the first time since she got in this house she could sing out loud, without the risk of being heard. She smiled at the idea and poured her heart out. Her voice was weird to her ears after almost a week without hearing it.

    When she got out of the shower, the bathroom was filled with vapor and her cheeks were full red. She brushed her teeth, still humming and dressed herself. She had her hand on the doorknob when she remembered that Desmond always scolded her for not drying her hair when she wet it at night. She sighed, trying to decide if it was ok to disobey him.

    She never dried her hair before. She always used a towel and then let it dry, and it never got her sick. On the other hand, his house really was colder than her apartment. She remembered what Magda told her and decided that if she felt cold, she would immediately come back and dry it.

    As she entered the room, she saw Magda sitting on the bed reading a book. She tried to read the title, but she didn't recognize the language it was written in.

    -Nice voice. -Magda smiled. She blushed. -Come here, let's talk about vivid nightmares and hallucinations.

    -Are you sure it's a good idea to do it right before going to sleep? -Belle gulped.

    -Why? Do you think that if you don't tell me, you won't dream about it? -Magda asked.

    -No… -Belle sat on the bed and covered her legs.

    -Then? Don't you want to understand what your subconscious is trying to warn you?

    -Do you think it's my brain trying to tell me something? -She gasped. -Like an actual warning?

    -Not a warning, it's just a figure of speech. What I mean is: you don't create an image out of the blue. Hallucinations, dreams, nightmares, they are composed of things you think about. Things you fear, things you wish, things you like or dislike. -Magda tried to explain. -There may not be a reason why you saw it in that moment in particular, but if you saw it, it's because you thought about it or about something that your mind transformed into it.

    -What if I saw something I never saw before? -She thought about Samantha's corpse and Desmond's severed head. -What does that mean?

    -Do you wanna talk about this, my dear? -She put the book on the bedside table.

    Belle was ashamed and feared that Magda might tell Desmond about the nightmare or the kiss. She was afraid Magda might think she wanted to hurt him or that she might judge her for hallucinating about him groping her.

    But the woman listened patiently and even offered her a box of tissues when she told about the nightmare with Bill. After telling her all of it, Belle fell silent, pressing her hurt lips. She left Desmond's attack, Samantha and the puppet nightmare for the last.

    -Well… -Magda said after a while, in a somber tone. -I feel like giving you a hug.

    The girl looked up. There was no amusement on the woman's face.

    -I know it's heavy, but try to keep in mind that your hormones and neurons are at war right now. It's not your fault. Try to keep it clear to yourself, it'll go away. -Magda sighed. -How do you feel about what happened with your friend, Bill?

    -Devastated. -Belle looked down. -I always thought that Daniel was my best friend, but I think William might be the only one who was really my friend in that group. And I…

    She couldn't bring herself to say that she caused his death.

    -Would you feel the same if you found out he had something to do with the attacks?

    -I know for a fact he didn't. He was at his place when the explosion happened. -She glared.

    -Which proves absolutely nothing about all the other attacks or the planning of this one. -Magda said, nonchalantly. -Anyway, my question was about you, not him. Do you think that would be the same? Do you think you'd feel that guilty?

    -Yes.

    -And why is that? -Magda frowned, apparently surprised by her answer.

    -Because… Because I should be able to trust justice and the authorities. -Belle smiled after a long time of thinking, remembering Desmond's words. -Even if he was guilty… Which I don't really believe he was… He would deserve a fair trial. And I would've taken it from him. And now I can't even remember who did this to him, how or why. I can't bring justice to him!

    -Do you really believe you took away his chance? -Magda ignored her tears, pushing her forward. -What could you have done?

    -I could've stayed. -Belle sniffed.

    -And why didn't you?

    -Because Chloe needed me. -She rubbed her eyes, tired of reliving that night, trying to find another way things could have happened. -She sounded drunk and alone, I didn't want to leave her alone in this condition.

    -So? Was it so wrong to leave him safe and sound in his house and come to help your friend?

    -That doesn't matter! He could've been alive! -She cried.

    -And Chloe could've been dead.

    Belle shut her mouth. For a moment she thought this would've been better. That if Chloe died that night she would have died as her beloved friend, not the psychopath that tried to kill her. She gulped, trying to suppress those thoughts. Chloe too deserved a fair trial.

    -I don't wanna talk about this anymore. It's not helping me.

    -You know this nightmare was probably a product of your guilt, right?

    -I deserve it. I deserve to feel guilty and to suffer for it. -She nodded. -If I had cared enough, I would've stayed. If I cared enough, I would've sent her father to get her. I'm not responsible for her, I had a choice, and I chose wrong.

    Magda opened her mouth to ask her a question, but shook her head instead.

    -We'll come back to this later. You're still too deep in your mourning to reach acceptance. -She sighed. -What about these other two dreams… The one underwater and the one in Ryan’s car… What do you think they represent?

    -I was hoping you'd tell me.

    -I can't. Let's find out together. What do you think it is about?

    -Fear?

    -Fear of what? -She nodded.

    -Fear of dying or of killing… -Belle shivered. Of hurting Desmond. -Fear of making something I don't wanna do…

    -How did you feel, Belle? I mean, when you were trying to move, but you couldn't. How did you feel?

    -Afraid. Desperate. Weak? -Belle tried, but Magda kept urging her to keep trying. After a few more tries she seemed to reach the answer she was expected to give. -Useless, powerless, impotent.

    -Do you feel impotent now? -Magda smiled, nodding.

    -Yes! A lot! -She nodded vigorously.

    -And why is that?

    Belle frowned as the question seemed stupid.

    -Because of all of this! My brain isn't worth anything anymore, I can't trust my own thoughts. I'm useless. -She spit the words, annoyed. -And I'm ruining Desmond's life, I'm here as a big baby, depending on him for almost everything and even when I recover, if I recover, from this withdrawal, I'll still be a burden to him, because I might get killed and I can't defend myself!

    -And whose fault is it? -Magda smiled, nodding.

    -What do you mean? Me, of course, for being useless.

    -Who put you in this position, Belle? What made your brain suffer that damage?

    -The drugs… Daniel. -She murmured. -But I accepted the pills, I knew it wasn't right to take his mother's pills, even if they weren't made by him to abuse me, it was wrong.

    -If you knew it was wrong, why did you do it?

    -Because I trusted him. -Belle looked down. -And because I was young and dumb.

    -And how do you feel, knowing that a person you trusted so much for so long had been lying to you and manipulating you? -Magda ignored the low self esteem issue in her answer. -How would you describe the feeling in one word?

    -Impotent…

    -And who do you think is trying to get to you and kill you?

    -I get your point, Magda. So it was fear and this feeling of being powerless? Was just this? -She exhaled hard. -How do I make it stop?

    -Fighting the fear and knowing your power. -She answered bluntly. -But above all, accepting that not everything is your fault.

    -Easy to say. -She sighed. -But what about the hallucinations? Was it because of fear and weakness too?

    -I believe those are more about guilt and self consciousness. -Magda sighed. -But what do you think it is about?

    -What do you mean? Guilty for what? Self conscious in what way?

    Magda snorted. It was the first time she signaled that she was annoyed with Belle.

    -Do you want Ryan to have sex with you, Isabelle?

    The girl flinched and backed away, almost falling off the bed. Her face was crimson red. The woman waited for her answer.

    -For god sake, Magda, why? Why would you? -She hid her face in her hands. -What would it have to do with anything?

    -That is not exactly an answer, but I'll take it for a yes. -The woman said in a severe tone. -Why do you think his opinion is about that desire of yours?

    -I, I never said I… Oh, god, why? -She rubbed her face, wanting to disappear.

    -Will you just focus on my question, please?

    -He'd hate it! He'd… He'd push me away! -Belle frowned. -Don't you ever tell him you think I want it! I never even…

    -And why do you think he'd try to persuade you out of it? -Magda continued, in the same tone.

    -Because… He said it would hurt me.

    -Did he talk about it with you? -The woman frowned, caught by surprise. -Before or after the hallucinations? He said you wouldn't tell him the subject of the hallucinations…

    -Before, when you told him he was provoking me.

    -Ah… -She clicked her tongue. -Typical of him. Anyway, then you had a hallucination of him corresponding to your interest, but in a way that made you fear him and get hurt… Isn't the situation obvious enough?

    No, it isn't. Belle wanted to say. But she nodded, desperate to change the subject.

    -And Samantha?

    -How do you feel about her? -Magda sighed.

    -I don't know her.

    -What do you know about her?

    -That she was beautiful, that she was carrying Desmond's baby when she died… -She paused when Magda's face contorted in reaction to her words, but the woman wouldn't explain, so she just went on. -And that Desmond feels guilty for their deaths.

    -Does that ring a bell? -Magda asked her.

    -Not really… -Belle frowned. His situation was a lot different than hers. There was no comparison.

    -Then you should think more about it. -She looked frustrated. -And Belle… Ryan would never have anything with you knowing that you're not conscious about your acts. If that happens again, bet on hallucination before you believe in it. Let's stop here for today.

    Belle nodded, as she too felt exhausted.

    -Oh, I almost forgot. I brought something for you. -Magda smiled. She reached out for her bag and took something. -This is for you. It will be our little secret, ok?

    Belle frowned, then gasped. It was an orange cylindrical bottle, with a black label in it. It read ND and a bunch of numbers. Dr. Magda V. Desmond and some lines that were scratched and were unreadable.

    -I had the lab reproduce your pills. -She looked straight into Belle's eyes. -This is for emergencies only. If you feel like you can't take it, if dying or hurting yourself seems like it's better than the craving, then you may take one. Ok?

    Belle's heart was racing. She didn't know what to feel.

    -Does Desmond know about this? -Belle felt anxious, trying to control her shaking. -Is it legal?

    -No, Isabelle, it's not exactly illegal, but I had to do some… Tricks… To order it without prescribing it to you. -She murmured. -And do you really believe Ryan would approve this?

    -Then why are you giving this to me? -She widened her eyes, handing it back to her, but her hand trembled with her desperate grip on the bottle. -Take it back!

    -I told you. -Magda shook her head. -As I said, it's just for safety. I hope you don't use any.

    Belle looked inside the bottle. They seemed exactly the same. There were ten pills inside. She sighed and put it inside the drawer of the bedside table.

    -Good night, Belle. -She waited until Belle understood it was a dismissal, and laid back on the pillow.

    -Goodnight, Magda.

    But she couldn't sleep. She turned her back to Magda and wondered if Desmond was ok. She tried to think about their conversation to distract from the pills. Something in particular bothered her... Did she fear Samantha because she was guilty about wanting to take her place?
     
    Last edited: Sep 29, 2021
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  10. beewink

    beewink Well-Known Member

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    Oh my word!! Things are definitely starting to unravel for Belle. . .poor thing needs to dig deep within herself, most if not all of the answers she wants are there
     
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  11. GiBro

    GiBro Well-Known Member

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    Just realized I began to call Trevor by his surname in the middle of the story and no one noticed hahahah I'm correcting it, changed all the "Tyler" to "Trevor". Please let me know when you spot typos and mistakes of this kind. You don't need to tell me where you find them, just the mistake and I'll look for it :confused:
     
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  12. beewink

    beewink Well-Known Member

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    Oh my goodness hahahaha. . I seriously never noticed, it's crazy how our brain autocorrects stuff like that without us even realizing
     
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  13. GiBro

    GiBro Well-Known Member

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    Chapter 28


    She didn't know how many hours had passed, but Magda was asleep for a long time when Belle finally gave up. She dozed off twice, only to wake up panting, from nightmares. She lay awake, listening to Magda's very soft, almost inaudible snore and letting her gaze travel back and forth through the thin lines that were formed by the streetlights that invaded the room through the small gaps of the curtain.

    Anxiety was taking over. She was craving, but it wasn't for the pills. She was craving for him.

    Belle carefully stepped out of the bed, feeling a sting as the cold floor touched her warm feet. She trembled slightly and suppressed a sneeze, fearing Magda might wake up.

    Then she tiptoed until she reached the corridor, with her ankle screaming in pain. She closed the door carefully and walked as slowly and softly as she could until she reached the stairs.

    Oh, no… She hadn't thought it through. After some back and forth, she decided to go on. She put her good feet down on the first step, but the sting on her ankle warned her that it would go bad before she reached the middle of the stairs. She sat on the step and snorted. Maybe I can wait here until he gets back. He can take me downstairs then. She crossed her arms to warm her hands in her armpits, but her still not completely dry hair and her bare legs were stone-cold.

    She looked down. It wasn't a long way. It couldn't be that difficult to go down. She could endure the pain. She was about to get up when she felt a hand pressing her shoulder down. Belle immediately closed her eyes.

    There were only two options. Either it was Magda, coming to scold her, or it was an hallucination coming to torment her.

    -Go away. -She whispered, fearing she would feel pointy nails scratching her neck. -Please, leave me alone...

    -Don't you dare die on my stairs for a whim, while I'm working like an imbecile to keep you safe! -She suddenly felt the warmth of his hand brushing her hair to her other shoulder and his hot breath tickling her ear while he scolded her. His perfume invaded her nostrils and she felt her whole body get warm.

    She opened her eyes and looked behind her, with her heart slamming her chest violently. There was only cold air all around her.

    She sighed, putting her hands to her side to lift her butt from the floor as she prepared herself to go back to the bedroom. But then she had the idea: she could just sit on the steps and go down. She didn't necessarily need both legs to do so.

    By the time she reached the last step, her hands were freezing and her buttocks were tingling. She sneezed two or three times on her way down.

    She took the beddings, that Magda had left over the table, in her arms and walked to the couch, preparing the bed as she had watched Desmond do before.

    Then, she crawled under the fluffy duvet that Magda had separated for him, wondering if the woman knew that the night would get so cold. She pulled the blanket and hugged it, to warm it. She was determined not to sleep until he got back, so she tried to keep her eyes open as much as she could.

    Belle suddenly woke up as she heard the garage’s gate opening. It took more time than expected to close and she heard the door of the car closing twice. She frowned and sat up, sliding toward the edge of the sofa.

    She tried to listen closely, but couldn't hear any sound. Her heart started to pound on her ears when she heard the voice of a man, different from Desmond's. The door of the car slammed again, but her ears noticed it sounded different from before. She heard two taps and the car moving away. Then the gate closed.

    She was very tense, trying to understand what had just happened. Why would someone come to Desmond's garage in the middle of the night? She had no idea of what time it was, but she couldn't see the sunlight through the curtain gaps.

    Then, the locks on the door started to turn very slowly and she jumped to her feet. What if it was a robber or a murderer coming for her? What could she do about it? She considered running to the kitchen and getting a knife, but her common sense screamed that it would be a terrible idea. Maybe she was just hallucinating. Maybe there was no one at all trying to get in.

    The door opened and she held her breath.

    Desmond came in without looking at her, carefully closing the door and locking the three locks almost without making any sound. He took off his boots at the corner using only one hand, as the other was occupied, holding his jacket, a backpack, something she guessed was his bulletproof vest and a plastic bag.

    Belle shifted her weight to the other foot, immediately taking it back to her good one when she felt the slightest sting. Desmond's head turned around immediately and his hand instinctively grabbed his gun.

    -Goddamnit, Belle! -He sighed and smiled, taking his hand away. -Why are you up at this time? And why are you alone? I asked Magda to watch over you during your sleep.

    He seemed more worried than annoyed. Belle hesitated, then ran in his direction. His eyes squinted at first, but went wide as he realized what she was planning to do. He let go of the things he was carrying and opened his arms to hold her when she jumped to wrap her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist.

    -Wow! Easy, tiger... -He chuckled, but leaned against the wall and put one arm under her butt to sustain her weight.

    She noticed he clenched his hand into a fist to avoid touching her more than necessary. His other hand caressed the back of her head. She sniffed at his neck and kissed it. He pulled her head back, to make her stop, with a click of his tongue.

    -I missed you so much. -She whispered. -I'm so glad you're ok…

    -Yeah, I noticed. That's a very warm reception. -He frowned. -Did Magda torture you while I was away or what?

    Kind of. She almost said, but swallowed the words.

    -What happened? -He pulled her up, as her leg was starting to press against his gun on his back, and carried her back to the sofa. -Why aren't you sleeping in the bedroom with her?

    -I had nightmares. And I missed you, I wanted to be here when you got back. -She muttered, half embarrassed.

    -Did you get downstairs on your own, then? -He looked straight into her eyes, irritated. -So, a corpse inside my bathtub wasn't enough, you wanted me to get home and find your broken body by the foot of my stairs?

    She flinched but shook her head.

    -I kind of crawled. There was no possibility of me getting hurt, believe me. -She blushed as he leaned toward the sofa and tried to get rid of her. -I didn't want to disobey you. I thought if I made sure I wouldn't hurt myself, you wouldn't mind it.

    He grunted and tried to force her to release her grip.

    -Let go, Belle. -He moaned.

    His body was almost laid on hers, and by his trembling abdomen she could tell that it was taking a great effort for him to keep bending his back while trying to put her away. She tightened the grip of her arms as her back hit the couch and he snorted.

    -Do you think it's funny? Stop! -He grunted in her ear, using his arms to push his body up. -I'm fucking serious, let go or I'm gonna force you to, and it's gonna hurt!

    She released her grip and he put distance between them.

    -Fuck! -He flushed and rubbed his neck. -What were you thinking?

    -I'm sorry. -She sat up and put her sleeve back on her shoulder.

    -Of course you are. -He rolled his eyes and leaned toward the table to touch his necklace on its surface as he did before. He angrily muttered something under his breath but the only words she could understand were “provoking” and “fuck”.

    -Why do you have a hidden drawer for your gun?

    -Because I'm a crazy person. -He grunted, annoyed. Then he realized he was being rude. -No, seriously, I have a bunch of guns hidden in this house… I know how it sounds, and I swear if I could go back in time I wouldn't do it. But I wasn't in my right mind, I was kind of paranoid.

    He sighed and looked at her to check her expression. There was no judgment, only curiosity. The side of his mouth lifted, involuntarily.

    -It was right after her death. I was angry and a bit scared. I didn't really want the insurance payout, but since Magda practically forced me to get it, I spent it all on improving my safety. I armored my car and I… -He stopped, embarrassed. Then shrugged, blushing so much that she could notice it without a proper light. -I had a bunker built under my basement.

    She seemed impressed, but just nodded.

    -How does it work? -She leaned on the couch’s arm and tried to examine the lock of the drawer, in an attempt to lighten the mood. He smiled at her and turned his attention back to the drawer.

    -It's just an RFID lock. -He took off his gun from his back in a swift movement and unlocked it, putting it back in its place. Belle noticed he positioned the grip in a way that it would be easy to get it out of the drawer if he were in a hurry. -Have you seen one of those before? It's called a dog tag.

    He took off his necklace, slipping it over his head, and held it out for her to see it. She reached out to take it. He hesitated, as if it was difficult for him to let someone else have it, but put it carefully on her open palm.

    He started to fidget and turned his back on her, getting back to the door and retrieving the things he had to leave on the floor. He didn’t look back. Belle observed him, wondering if that was his way of handling things when something made him feel uncomfortable.

    She examined the tag. It had a plastic cover and the metallic plate had words and numbers engraved in it. She tilted it to be able to read it in the dim light. The first line read Desmond, the second one read Richard A., the third one had a social security number, the fourth read O Pos and the last one read Catholic.

    She creased her eyebrows reading the number over and over again and trying to understand where she had seen it before.

    -Give it back, will you? -He snorted, reaching out to snatch it from her hand. She nodded and handed it to him, noticing that his fingers trembled a bit as he put it back around his neck, hiding it under his shirt. -Good girl. Here, now you don’t have to worry about underwear anymore.

    He smiled and lifted her backpack for her to see, then handed it as if it was a gift.

    -Ah! -She exclaimed, holding it to her chest, excited. -I had forgotten about it!

    -Me too. I think it was the lack of sleep, I'm sorry… But my buddy saw it under the passenger seat when he got into my car to take it to the precinct. -Desmond smiled. -Too bad you don't have clean clothes inside it, right?

    -I think I had a coat and a pair of socks besides the panties… -Belle put the backpack on the floor and leaned over it to open it and check .

    -You're right. But… -One side of his mouth went up and he looked like a boy proud of his feat, crouching in front of her. -Wouldn't it be wonderful if someone went to your house and got you a lot of clothes that fit you?

    He raised the plastic bag and she looked at it, blankly.

    -Did you break into my apartment? -She frowned, then looked into his eyes in accusation. -Did you rummage through my things? Oh, did you get into my room?

    His smile vanished and he sat back.

    -I… I thought you… -He mumbled. -It's not like that...

    -Why would you even do that? -She shook her head frantically and snatched the bag from his hand, holding it to her chest. Her face was red. -Why did you get into my room?

    -I… I'm sorry. -He looked confused and frustrated. -I thought you'd be happy. I'm really sorry.

    -Happy? How would you feel? How would you feel if I got into your room without your permission and rummaged through your things? -She almost raised her voice, then remembered about Magda sleeping on the second floor and resumed, in a whisper. -You shouldn't get into a woman’s room without her knowledge. That's… You're a jerk you know?

    He frowned, then nodded and went away.

    She felt guilty for a moment, but was still very ashamed and offended. He walked to the table and grabbed the clean clothes Magda had left for him there, and went straight to the bathroom without even glancing at her.

    Belle wanted to call him and say that she understood his intentions and didn't mean to hurt him, but she heard the boiler and sighed.

    She opened the bag and took off the clothes, examining them. There were five shirts, all of them with long sleeves, but most of them with a light fabric, two of her most comfortable pants and, to her dismay, five panties. She felt as if she would faint of embarrassment.

    She looked down at her clothes and a bitter smile appeared on her face. He had thought it through. He had chosen practical, comfortable clothes, and remembered her discomfort with sleeveless/short sleeved shirts. She tried to remember the state she left her room the last time she'd been there.

    The panties were scattered over the bed, as she had tried to find two that Chloe would like to wear, the cutest she had, since she didn't have any that could be considered sexy. Her face turned red and she tried to imagine what he thought about her when he saw that mess.

    -Oh no… -She moaned.

    She folded back the clothes and arranged them inside her backpack. She took the empty packagings from the bars she ate when she was inside his car and went to the kitchen to throw them away. She looked around and wondered what she could do to help him, but in fact she knew it was the guilty urging her to do something to make up for mistreating him after he clearly made an effort to please her.

    She didn't realize when the boiler went off and got startled when he walked into the kitchen.

    -What are you doing? Do you need something? -He asked her, rubbing his head with the towel.

    She shook her head. They stared at each other.

    -You may ask… -He shrugged, then threw the towel on his shoulder and grabbed a glass to drink water.

    -I'm sorry. -She said, in a low voice.

    -Me too. -He looked at her, but avoided her eyes.

    -No, really, I was just embarrassed. I was stupid, I didn't mean to call you a jerk, I don't think you are. -She leaned on the counter and bit her lip. The wound half healed stung and she grimaced.

    -You made a fucking mess, right? -He grimaced too, empathetically.

    -Yes, my room isn't always so messy. I… I thought I would be back that night and would have time to clean it up before I went to sleep. -She looked down. -I didn't know I wouldn't be able to go back there.

    -I was talking about your lip. -He shook his head. -I didn't notice any mess in your room. Are you thirsty?

    He looked away and poured another glass of water for himself. She shook her head, but he didn't see it. He handed her a glass, still avoiding her eyes.

    -Thank you. -She took it and sipped it.

    -How was it? With Magda, I mean, did you tell her about the hallucinations? -He pulled a stool with his feet and sat.

    She nodded. They fell silent.

    -Are we ok? -He asked her, finally looking into her eyes.

    -Yes, why? -She put her glass in the sink and approached him. -I'm just embarrassed, I'm sorry for being rude.

    -I wanted to help you. -He shrugged. -I didn't think you'd be mad.

    -I know. It's weird, I feel so comfortable around you, it's as if you were always part of my life, but still... I don't know you. -She crossed her arms, not knowing what to do with her hands. - When I lived with my aunt, she would get into my room without my permission too, so I had to learn to lock the door.

    -What do you want to hide, anyway? -He frowned. -It seemed like a normal bedroom to me.

    -It's not about hiding… -She didn't know how to explain. -It's just… Private. It's my safest place. Was… I never let anyone inside my room, even my closest friends. I think Chloe was the only person who ever got into my room since I've moved to Brooklyn.

    -What did you two used to do there? -He swirled the rest of the water inside the glass, distracted by the vortex that the movement created.

    -In my room? -She tilted her head, wondering if he was trying to change the subject or working on the case. She had been suspicious that he had received some information about Chloe's tracks in the last few days, due to his reaction when she talked about her before he left. -We listened to music and talked, basically. She used to sleep there with me sometimes, when she fought with her father…

    -What did you talk about? -He pressed. -What did she do while you talked?

    -Ah, she did most of the talking. I'm better at listening, I'm not nearly as entertaining as she is. -She blushed and smiled involuntarily when he made a face to point out he totally disagreed. - Most of the time she would talk about things I don't understand or know enough about to form an opinion, so I listened, but often I would catch myself tripping.

    -How is it possible that a dimwit brat, thick as shit, would know better than you in any subject? -He frowned.

    -Ah, there are some subjects like…. When she was talking about boys...Sex, to be honest, or about that new crazy form of making a lot of money with virtual coins, or about religion, or something like that...

    -Religion? Is that girl religious by any means? -He looked up. -What Bible has she been reading? Kama sutra?

    -Why are you so offended by her attitude? She's just… Confident. -Belle blushed when his face contorted in disgust. -Seriously. She hadn't been with that many men. I bet you’ve been with at least twice the number of people she'd been with, when you were her age.

    -I'm a man. -He shrugged as if it should settle the score favorably for himself.

    -Now you're being sexist! Why is it ok for a man to do something but not for a girl? -She frowned.

    -Why don't you act like her, then? - He lifted one eyebrow.

    She opened her mouth, then closed it. He smirked. She gathered her courage and said.

    -Maybe because I'm not as confident as she is. -She muttered, looking straight into his eyes. -My self esteem isn't half of what hers is.

    -Well, you should be much more confident than her. -He looked back inside the glass. She thought he wanted to continue his phrase, but then he frowned. -You know I'm not being sexist. It's one thing to be confident. It's one thing to show you're powerful and independent...

    -She does that. -She tried to defend Chloe. -She just...

    He lifted his head and made a face that said “don't even try”.

    -She's too young to be so sexualized. -He looked straight into her eyes. -It's not natural, she shows signs of abuse. If I hadn't met her father, I would've guessed he was the one.

    Belle shut up. She knew exactly by whom and for how long Chloe had been abused, but she was astonished by the fact that Desmond knew it by meeting her only a couple of times and sharing less than ten words with her.

    -It's expected that teenagers think, talk or do sex with each other. Is it recommended? No, but it'll happen, so the best we can do is make sure they do it right, and safely. -He sighed. -But Chloe… What she does isn't normal. Don't act as if it was.

    He waited for any signs of understanding. When she nodded, he added.

    -And don't fucking call me sexist again! -He glared at her.

    -You said it was ok to be with a lot of girls, because you're a man. -She pointed out, annoyed. -If it isn't sexism, what is it?

    -Realism. -He leaned toward her. -You know what happens when you let an asshole take you to bed? He talks. To anyone who'll listen to it without telling you or your parents. That if he doesn't take a picture of you naked while you are sleeping. And you know what's even worse? He'll probably add a bunch of shit that never happened and that you wouldn't let him do to you. Why? Because why not? We are praised for being assholes. The more we do the more we are seen like a Man, whatever grand achievement it might represent...We can fuck whoever we want, whenever we want, and act however we want afterwards. No one will think less of us for that unless we rape someone. And even then, they'll probably dismiss it if the girl acts like Chloe. Can you say the same about yourself? If you can't, don't you dare call me sexist!

    Belle gulped. She didn't know what to say. She wanted to ask him if he used to be one of those assholes but she was afraid of what he would answer, knowing he would be honest.

    -Did you used to let Chloe smoke in your room? -He cleared his throat and tapped on the marble countertop, distracted by thoughts.

    -Hell, no! -She made a face. -I hate cigars! And Chloe doesn't smoke, her mother died not very long ago from cancer. Why? Was my room smelling smoke? Do you think someone has been there? Do you think it could be Trevor?

    -Calm down. -He rubbed his eyes. -I've been to a crime scene where the main elements were smoke and ashes, don't worry. It was a stupid question, I'm just very tired.

    -You shouldn't have been there in the first place… It's illegal, isn't it? Even if you're an FBI agent, you don't have the right to invade my property without a warrant and get my things. -She scolded him. -It's wrong!

    -Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry. -He dismissed it with a roll of his eyes. Then raised his glass. -Hooray for making stupid decisions.

    He drank it and got up.

    -I'm gonna sleep a bit. Do you mind staying there with me? -He looked around. -It's not that I don't trust you...

    -I know. I'm sleepy too, I was just thinking about doing something for you... -She blushed, realizing she started the conversation to apologize and ended up having an argument with and was about to start another one.

    -Like what? -He frowned. -I told you before, you don't need to do anything.

    -I don't know, a cake or something…

    He smiled. And led her back to the living room. He took the towel back to the bathroom, then came back, yawning.

    -I'll probably have a day off today, since my boss thinks I'm getting paranoid because of exhaustion. I can sit and watch you cook, ok? -He crawled under the duvet and the blanket. -How are your symptoms? Are you craving for the pills?

    Belle's eyes flew toward the second floor. She hadn't decided yet if she was gonna tell him about the pills. She wondered if it was a test. If Magda would tell him about it and if he would be disappointed in her for taking so long to tell him. On the other hand it might be a test that Magda created to see if she could control herself without depending on him.

    One thing was sure: if she told him now, he would have a fight with Magda and throw the pills away. Then she would be left with neither.

    -What's on your mind? -His voice was weird because of a suppressed yawn.

    -Nothing. -She laid beside him and covered herself. Since there wasn't bedding for herself, they would have to share. She looked up, seeing his face distorting with annoyance. She didn't know if it was because of their situation or because of her answer. -Were you happy before me, Desmond?

    He frowned. She stared at his face, trying to read the emotions there.

    -Once you told me I'm not a happy person… -She sighed. -I'm not, but… I feel like I can be. I wouldn't have said this two weeks ago, but that's how I feel now. But you asked me that, and you seemed to pity me… So I can only conclude that you were happy before you met me. Is that right? Do I make you unhappy?

    -Wait, do you think I'm unhappy? -He rubbed his eyes and lifted his head.

    -Are you happy? -She curled in his direction.

    -I think so. It's not a permanent thing, but yeah, sometimes I am. Why do you think I'm not?

    -Why are you happy? -She creased her eyebrows.

    He sighed and just stared at her, without making a sound. Then he reached out and grabbed her by her wrists, pulling her to his chest. She didn't resist, but her arms instinctively pulled back, which actually helped him pull her in his direction.

    -I don't know. I don't care either. -He stroked her head. -You should worry less about the small shit that happens in life and enjoy the nice things. That's what happiness is about, having perfect moments. It's not about having a perfect life.

    She hugged his torso and took a deep breath. It felt very good.

    -You're alive. -He whispered, kissing her forehead. -That's a great reason to be happy.

    His hand slowly started to get heavier on her head and slid through her hair, to her face, stopping only when it rested between her neck and shoulder, slightly close to her breast. She could feel her heartbeat under his wrist and hear his, much more gentle, as her ear was glued to his chest.

    Belle looked up. His eyes were closed and his breathing was even. She couldn't tell if he was asleep or not. The sight of his long dark eyelashes, instead of his almost always stern gaze, gave her the impression that he was at peace. She smiled, fighting the urge to kiss his forehead in return.

    -Thank you, Desmond. -She whispered, unwittingly closing her own eyes.
     
    Last edited: Sep 29, 2021
    arinzone, imeren, saye and 3 others like this.
  14. saye

    saye Well-Known Member

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    who else can imagine Magda smirking at the site of them sleeping together on the couch?:blobwhistle:


     
  15. beewink

    beewink Well-Known Member

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    Omg yes!! I definitely pictured that hahaha
     
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  16. GiBro

    GiBro Well-Known Member

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    Dear readers, good morning =)

    I've got my first really negative feedback and I'm a bit worried about it, because I wasn't able to see it that way and still can't (it's a problem, because I can't improve if I don't understand what's wrong), so I'm coming to seek your help.

    The first criticism was about the dialogues. They were described as silly, childish, shallow etc.
    Examples: The cabin scene, the person thinks it wasn't tense enough and that Belle didn't act as someone who had just learned her friend had died. / Desmond's and Belle flirty moment on the Doughnut's Cafe, the person thinks I didn't make it clear that they spent half a day chatting and that his intention was to calm her and distract her. The person also thinks he mentioning Samantha was out of place, that it was too artificial.

    The second criticism is about the personality of the main characters. The person thinks Belle is too cold / expressionless and that Desmond is stupid / childish. The examples were: Belle doesn't act sad enough for the situation and makes jokes / use irony in moments that wouldn't make sense. Desmond provokes Daniel at the cafe.

    I changed a lot of things in some of those parts (nothing too big, just details), but I'm uneasy, because the sex cabin scene and the restaurant / car chase scene are the parts I consider more intense till now (even more than Chloe's scape scene)... If they are shallow / silly, that's a real problem and I need to find out how to fix it xD

    About the dialogues, that would be an unsolvable problem... I need to give information through dialogues and I read it a bunch of times and can't see the problem, so it must be a problem in the way I think, if it really is a problem.

    So... I need your sincere opinion about those flaws and, if possible, suggestions about what you think would make it better, please.
     
    Last edited: Aug 5, 2021
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  17. GiBro

    GiBro Well-Known Member

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    Chapter 29


    She woke up suddenly as she realized it was getting harder to breathe. Her back was wet with the hot sweat from his chest. His grip to her waist was unbearably tight. He was putting so much pressure in his arms that her ribs were hurting.

    Belle looked up at his face, startled. His eyes were shut tight, and there was a crease between his eyebrows. He was breathing through his mouth, as if he too couldn't breathe.

    She reached out and caressed his cheek, lightly. He inhaled with a gasp and opened his eyes, but didn’t loosen his grip.

    -Oh, shit! -He moaned, resting his chin on the top of her head. -For god sake…

    -Were you having a nightmare? -She asked, pressing his arm to signal him that he was smothering her.

    -Sorry. -He muttered, letting go of her and lying on his back. Her back suddenly felt very cold.

    -Do you wanna talk about it? - She stretched her sore muscles and turned toward him.

    -Not really… -He closed his eyes and wiped the sweat off his forehead with the hem of his shirt. -Fuck, I’m soaked.

    She observed him with a worried expression. He noticed it and smiled.

    -Thank you for waking me up. How are you feeling?

    -Better than you, apparently. -She looked into his eyes. -Is there something new about the case bothering you, Desmond?

    -You know I wouldn’t tell you if there was, why do you ask? -He snorted. -I don’t like to lie to people I care about, Belle. Don’t ask about the case until you get over that shit, ok?

    She wasn’t expecting him to get annoyed, but she hadn’t expected him to tell her anything either. At least now she knew for sure that there was something going on.

    He observed her as she nodded.

    -You didn’t have any nightmares tonight, did you? -He looked up, thinking.

    -No, only before you got home and they weren't that bad. Why?

    -It’s a nice exchange, I’ll take it. - He nodded and shrugged.

    -What? Are you implying I gave you my nightmares? -She chuckled. -Give it back, then.

    -I’m confiscating them. I’m planning to build a castle for my enemies out of it someday. -He smirked. -No, really, I just think it’s interesting… It stopped right on the day I met you and it's coming back exactly now that you might…

    -Did you used to have nightmares? -She involuntarily interrupted him.

    -I'm not used to dreaming, actually. But when I do dream, it's most likely to be a nightmare… -He reached out and put the hem of her shirt back on her shoulder. -I haven't had one ever since I've been to your classroom… I had one or two dreams, but not a single nightmare.

    His ears grew very red, but he pretended it was a trivial subject.

    -And the contrary happened to me… But now that I think about it, it might be because of the pills… -She looked down at her hand as she played with a strand of her hair. -I stopped taking it on that day. I was afraid that you might interrogate me and I might be stoned and say something stupid…

    -So, you knew it was wrong to take them… -He shook his head. Then something clearly started to bother him. -Did you have nightmares with me?

    She hesitated, but nodded.

    -Soso… I sometimes had nightmares about the fire… Most of it was just the smells and my mother's cries for help… -She crossed her arms to her chest, to numb the pain. -But after I met you again…

    She sighed and blushed, unable to go on.

    -What? What about me?

    -After that day I kind of dreamed about how you saved me… -She looked away, embarrassed. -I know it's kind of childish and stupid, but give me a break, you were like Prince Charming coming right out of the book when you walked back into my life… I could never guess I would've ever seen you again and then you show up like that.

    -What do you mean by Prince Charming? -He frowned deeply, clearly surprised. -I was in a terrible mood that day, I was pissed as fuck, especially with you.

    -What? Why me? You hadn't even talked to me! -It was her turn to be surprised and she even sat to have a better look at his face. -Besides you looked at me as if you thought I was… As if you wanted to…

    -Strangle you? Shoot a bullet through your head? -He rubbed his forehead as if he felt embarrassed by the thought.

    -Actually Chloe and Bill thought you wanted to… They said it seemed like you were aroused when you looked at me. -She blushed violently. Then she added quickly. -That was their impression, not mine, really. I just thought you recognized me, and wanted to talk with me.

    -Your friends tripped hard. I was fucking pissed. I truly wished I could kill you on the spot. -He grimaced. -I'm glad I had the opportunity to talk with you and find out you weren't who you seemed to be. I even regretted saving your life for a moment while I read your file...

    She was speechless. Her hands trembled a bit, as she was terrified by the thought that he regretted saving her. She hugged herself, feeling like she shouldn't be alive. She felt a sting in her chest and her eyes brimmed with tears.

    -Why did you hate me so much?

    Desmond sighed, noticing the effects of his words, and sat too. He took her trembling hand away from her chest and caressed it with the tip of his fingers.

    -I thought you were dating him. I thought you were his right-hand. -He closed his eyes and shook his head, trying to erase it from his mind. His jaw clenched in anger. -I thought you were in this for money and to please him as his sexual partner, and to feel powerful. I thought you were his Bonnie. It would've been a punch in the face to find out I've saved your life only so you could take other people’s lives for pleasure. Especially holding hands with this asshole.

    She savored the question on the tip of her tongue. She had held this question back for so long, afraid of his answer, but most of all, afraid that he might back away from her. She gathered the courage and finally asked him.

    -Desmond… Why do you hate Daniel so much? -She asked him in a whisper.

    He opened his eyes and just stared at her. For a moment she thought he hadn't heard her question. He was just staring, with his jaw tense.

    -He killed the wrong people. -He answered, simply.

    She waited, but he didn't go on.

    -Why did you compare me to Prince Charming, Belle? -He cleared his throat and repeated his question.

    -You saved my life, Desmond. And you're so handsome and strong and you just stared at me… Only me, it was as if there was no one else besides me and you inside the room… -She blushed. -I'm shy, but I'm not a saint, my imagination took over…

    -Do you really think I'm handsome? I thought you were mocking me… -He smirked. -What did you think? That I was so surprised to meet you again that I would run to your desk, hold you and kiss you?

    -I kind of fantasized that you would wait for me after school and ask me out. -She shrugged. -But I knew it was just silly nonsense.

    -It totally was. -He nodded, then made a face of disgust. -You were a child when I saved you, I was almost an adult. What did you think? That I was some weirdo pedophille and a stalker?

    -I'm not a child anymore. -She protested.

    -I know, but what would be the reason for me to want you by then? Just because I remembered you as a ten years old girl trembling under debris? -He frowned. -That totally doesn't make sense.

    -I was almost twelve. -She glared at him. -But that's not what I meant.

    -It wouldn't happen, Belle. -He shook his head. -I'm not gonna lie, that's something I'm very proud of. I often thought about you during the war… It soothed my heart to know I had saved at least one young life, since I couldn't save those... But I never, not for a moment, I never even spent a second thinking about you as a woman. You were the girl of the fire, you were Belle, the little girl whose life I saved.

    -You remembered my name? -She smiled fondly.

    -You remembered mine… -He shrugged.

    -You saved my life. -She said in a vehement tone.

    -You might have saved mine too. -He muttered, looking down.

    She looked up and frowned.

    -What do you mean, Desmond?

    He looked away and put his hand to his chest. For a moment she thought he was feeling some pain, but then she realized he was just feeling the tag beneath his soaked shirt. He lifted his head and stared into her eyes for a long time, but his eyes were distant. Then he bent and kissed her forehead, stroking the back of her head.

    -I'm gonna change my clothes. -He cleared his throat. -You should too, I can't smell it in you, but I must have soaked you in sweat. I'm sorry.

    -It's ok. You're not smelling at all, it's clean sweat. -She shrugged. -I still need you to answer me, even if it's uncomfortable, Desmond. You can't say something like that and expect me to let it go.

    -Don't do this to me now. -He shook his head. She could see that he was struggling with memories.

    -It doesn't have to be now. But try to tell me as soon as possible, please. -She tried to bite her lower lip. The faint sting of her wound made her jolt.

    He grimaced, staring at her mouth for a long time. For a moment she felt like they would kiss, but the moment passed and he turned to leave her. He didn't look back, and walked to the other side of the house, the one she hadn't explored yet, passing through an arch. She hesitated, then followed him.

    The next room was some kind of lounge. There was a bar with a wooden counter on the opposite side, and a wall filled up with bottles of all sizes and colors. There was a beautiful fireplace that obviously had never been used and two luxurious comfy chairs in front of it. There was a small bookshelf near it but she didn't stop to examine the books. She looked around trying to understand where he went. Only then she spotted the doorway behind the bar. She was about to put her foot on the first step to go downstairs when he came up, bumping into her.

    -What the hell? -He laughed, grabbing her shoulders to steady her. -Did I hurt you? Do you need something?

    He was holding a white shirt.

    -I was just looking for you. -She blushed. -I was curious to know where you went.

    -It's just a basement, there's a gym there and the laundry room. -He shrugged. -Nothing interesting for a woman.

    -There's women that go to the gym, did you know it? -She squinted her eyes.

    -I do know, I actually work with a bunch of them. You are not the type. -He smirked, closing his thumb and middle finger around her forearm to prove his point. Then added as he noticed her embarrassment. -You don't need it, your body is perfect the way it is, relax.

    This made her face go crimson and she tried to hide her smile with her hair, looking down.

    -Ah, I think I should've shown you this… -He frowned, as if it bothered him to have to do it. -It's old and it hasn't been played for a decade. It must be totally untuned.

    She didn't get his meaning until she looked up and followed his gaze. There was a stunning grand piano by the corner of the room.

    -Ah! That's a Blüthner! -She giggled, approaching it with her mouth agape.

    He tilted his head, impressed that she could guess the brand with only a glance at this distance.

    -May I? -She looked at him in expectation.

    -Sure. -He pressed his lips. He seemed anything but sure.

    She ran her fingers through the wood. It was very clean, but something told her he was telling the truth about no one touching it in years for anything but keeping it clean.

    -Careful! -He reached out to help her when he saw her lifting the lid to check inside.

    -The strings look fine. There's no rust at all and the wood is perfect. -She checked them and nodded. -If you happen to have a kit, I can tune it for you. Actually I'll only need some mutes and a lever.

    -We do have a kit somewhere… It must be still on it’s box, actually. Do you really know how to tune it? -He lifted one eyebrow. -My brother used to hire someone to do it every year, are you sure it's a DIY thing? My father will have another heart attack if you damage it.

    -I wouldn't have offered it if I wasn't capable enough for the job, Desmond. -She glared, slightly offended.

    -Fine… Wait until Marrie gets here on Monday and then we can… -His words cut when he saw her sitting down and testing the keys. She played a bit, and he recognized the piece. Canon in D.

    -It's not so out of tune, just a bit flat, it won't be so difficult... -She smiled, changing the tone to test another group of keys. She grimaced as she hit some notes that were totally out of pitch. His eyes brimmed with tears and he smiled.

    -I'm… I'm gonna do the dishes. -He looked down, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand and feigning a yawn. -If Magda comes here, tell her I was the one who told you you could play it.

    Belle stopped playing and looked up at him.

    -Are you sure it's ok? -She started to get up, but he pressed her shoulder down, forcing her to sit back.

    -If it's gonna make you feel better, it's ok. -He nodded, but she could see in his face that something wasn't right. -Don't try to close the lid on your own. It's heavier than it looks, you might hurt yourself or drop it down, I'm gonna get mad if you do it, right?

    She nodded and watched his back as he walked away.
     
    Last edited: Aug 6, 2021
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  18. GiBro

    GiBro Well-Known Member

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    Chapter 30

    Belle wanted to go to the kitchen and wait for him there while he changed clothes, but she guessed he needed some space. She memorized the keys that were out of tune so she could work on them later and tried to remember pieces that wouldn’t require any of them to be played.

    She didn’t play any, though, only placing her hands over the keys, imagining the sounds. She didn’t want to hurt Desmond or Magda with memories only because of her longing for music. Just touching the piano already made her feel better, there was no reason to greed for more.

    After some minutes she gave in and went to check on Desmond. In fact she was just feeding her new addiction, staying close to him as much as she could.

    She was surprised when she saw Magda seated there by the island, with an empty cup of coffee and a closed book in front of her. She couldn't see Belle by the door, since she had her back to her. Desmond was rinsing the already washed dishes.

    -I'm just saying you should think about it, because there's no way you didn't notice it, Ryan! -Magda said in a low voice. -You should give it a try, even if it scares you.

    He ignored her, so she got up, taking her cup for him to wash, and pinched his back. He flinched and slapped the water in her direction, making her back away.

    -Beat it, jerk! -He scolded her. -Leave me alone!

    -That's exactly what I'm trying to avoid. -She chuckled. -If I allow you, you're gonna die alone.

    -Do you want me to talk? I’ll talk then! That’s fucking none of your business! If you spent less time taking care of other people’s lives, maybe you'd get time to take care of yours! -He took her cup and started to wash it, but didn't look at her. -You're not in the position to give me any advice in that area, Magda, you know I got over it in less than three months! Can you say the same about yourself? You're still clinging to him as if he…

    He stopped and looked back, directly into Belle's eyes.

    -Nice, we have an audience. -He shot a fulminating glance at Magda. -Are you happy now?

    She looked back and frowned when she saw Belle standing by the door, looking like she had been caught committing a crime.

    -I'm sorry, I didn't mean to eavesdrop. -Belle blushed, uneasy.

    Desmond blatantly ignored her, snorting as he put the last dish on the drying rack.

    -You've made this mess, make sure you are the one who cleans it. -He murmured to Magda and got out of the kitchen passing by Belle without looking at her.

    Magda sighed and pointed toward the island, inviting her to sit down with her. Belle shook her head, but approached her.

    -How much of it have you heard? -She pulled a stool and sat back.

    -Not much, but I think I can guess the rest. -Belle knew she couldn't lie to that woman. -I really didn't mean to eavesdrop, I was just startled, because I didn't hear you come downstairs. I didn't know you were awake.

    -When I woke up you two were sleeping soundly. I decided to wait here, not to disturb you. -Magda gave her a knowing smile.

    Belle blushed. She must have seen them cuddling. They fell silent, but the girl couldn't take it for long.

    -Why are you bothering him about me? -She sighed, leaning toward the counter to look less ridiculous while she tried to climb up the stool. -Please, stop, he'll push me away.

    -You've been with him for one week, I've known him for more than fifteen years. -The woman clicked her tongue. -Do you really think you know more about his behavior than I do?

    -Fine, what's your intention, then? What do you expect to achieve by pestering him about me?

    -Anything would be better than what he's been trying to do by now. -Magda shrugged. -But tell me something… I guess he didn't abduct you in the middle of the night, so have you decided you won't be his lamb anymore and to ignore his orders?

    -I… I've found a loophole in his rule. -Belle shrugged.

    -No, she didn't. -Desmond muttered, leaning by the doorway with his arms crossed. -I told you you shouldn't go upstairs or downstairs on your own, I didn't specify it was valid only for standing. She's just stubborn as a mule...

    -It seems it's a quite common character flaw…. -Magda scratched her chin. Then added as he squinted his eyes. -I thought you were gonna leave...

    -I just remembered I'm forbidden to work today. -He grimaced. -Besides, I don't want you filling her head with stupid ideas, since I'm the one who'll have to deal with her reckless behavior later. I actually need to know what the hell you told her tonight, ‘cause she was acting quite weird when I got home.

    Belle blushed violently. He was talking about her jumping on him.

    -She does have a beautiful mouth, doesn't she? She can tell you herself, if she so wishes. -Magda rolled her eyes, getting up and parading toward the door. -Now, if you excuse me, I'm gonna get going, because my boyfriend will take me out tonight and I have an appointment with my hairdresser.

    -Your what? -He almost screamed, but she picked up the pace and ran upstairs.

    -My hairdresser. -She answered with a laugh, and closed the door with a bang.

    -You gotta be kidding… -He put his hands on his waist and looked up with a frown. Belle almost laughed out loud. -She’s kidding, right?

    He made a face and turned to Belle. She shrugged, doing her best to keep a straight face. He paced back and forth as if trying to decide if he would follow her upstairs or not.

    -Boyfriend… -He murmured and shook his head. -Fuck me.

    Belle smiled and looked down. He saw it and blushed, clearing his throat.

    -Yes? -She looked up, trying to make an innocent face.

    -You offered me a cake last night. -He smirked, dismissing the subject. -Is the offer still on?

    She nodded and jumped off of the stool, regretting it immediately as her ankle failed her, and she almost fell. He pretended not to notice it and asked her about the ingredients. She watched as he walked around the kitchen gathering everything she asked for. At some point she started to list things that had nothing to do with the recipe, just to tease him. He squinted his eyes when she asked for garlic.

    -What? -He frowned. Then realized what she’d been doing and laughed out loud. -Goddamit, I feel so stupid!

    She laughed too and apologized, helping him put the things back in place.

    -I see you already sorted out your differences. -Magda came to say goodbye, carrying her bag in one hand.

    -I need to talk with you! -Desmond immediately turned and strode in her direction.

    -What? Are you gonna interrogate me about him? No way! -She smirked and rushed to the door. -Bye, Belle!

    -Bye, Magda. Thank you for your help… -Belle murmured, getting out of his way.

    -How come I know about it only now? - He pressed her, trying to grab her arm to stop her. She swiftly moved her shoulder to get out of his range. -Don’t fuck with me! How long?

    She just laughed out loud.

    -Magda! - He shouted as she opened the door.

    -Aren’t you a detective? I’m not gonna help you! -She mocked him as their voices faded.

    After a while Desmond came back with a scowl. She grabbed a large bowl and started to mix the ingredients.

    They started to chat after a while when Belle couldn’t take his bad mood anymore. She ended up baking the cake and preparing their meal. He helped her sporadically, reaching something that was too high for her, opening a jar and chopping things.

    She learned amazing things about him. He told her about his physical test for joining the FBI, bragging about his perfect score. She got tired just from imagining herself getting through the cruel trials, certain that she would’ve failed on the first test. Then he told her about his passion for drawing, explaining that he used to draw everything he saw when he was a kid with perfect details, due to his ability to remember almost anything he saw, even for a glimpse, if it captured his attention. He explained more about his eidetic memory, telling her it dimmed with time, but was still very useful for his work.

    The mood dropped suddenly when he let slip unpleasant traces of personality, like the fact that he was homophobic.

    -No I’m not! -He protested, seated by the island, leaning back on his elbows. -Don’t twist my words.

    -Oh, enlighten me with your wisdom, then… -She crossed her arms and frowned. -How come it’s not prejudice?

    -It’s a fact, it’s not natural… -He shrugged, clearly feeling awkward about her attitude.

    -And who are you to define what’s natural and what’s not? -She pointed out. - Did you know it’s common to find homosexual behaviors in a lot of animal species?

    -No, it’s not! -He raised his voice. -Don’t lie to prove your point, that’s plain stupid…

    -There is a bunch of research about it, you can Google it, you don’t have to believe me… -She shook her head. -Even dolphins...

    -Ah yes, because a dolphin is exactly the same as a human being…-He frowned. -Let go, Belle, you won’t change my mind. Besides, I don’t really care for what they do with their personal life, it doesn’t affect me in any way. I just think it’s not normal.

    -Your way of thinking is what isn’t normal… -She pouted.

    -Is that so? Because I’m pretty sure most religious people would agree with me… -He raised an eyebrow. -And most of them would be totally radical about it.

    She squinted her eyes. Then sighed.

    -Ok, Desmond, but that’s very wrong. Just tell me this… What would you think about a married gay couple adopting an orphan child? - She held her breath, waiting for his answer.

    -What difference would it make? I think there are a bunch of other things to check when letting someone take care of a life. -He muttered, then laughed as he saw her frown melt. -What? Do you like me again now?

    -I never said I disliked you. -She suppressed a smile. -Still, I really think you should think more about it. You’re a reasonable person, you know we all have our different aspects, psychological, physical, emotional… It’s almost the same as feeling attracted to big boobs or small boobs. You don’t have control over it, do you?

    -I actually think there are a bunch of things more important than that to attract me, but yeah, I got your point. Can we change the subject, please? -He got up and started to get the things to set the table. -I don’t want to offend you, I didn’t mean to. I didn’t even know that it was a topic so sensible for you.

    -My father was remarkably homophobic… I had a hard time learning how wrong it was. Bill taught me so much about… -She shut her mouth and glanced at him with wide eyes.

    -What about Bill? -He tilted his head.

    -Nothing. -She shook her head, crouching to check the cake inside the oven.

    He snorted loudly. Then got out of the kitchen, scolding.

    -I really hate it when you don’t answer me without even explaining why… -He came back and looked straight into her eyes to make sure she would take him seriously.

    -Sorry, it’s not my secret to tell. -She avoided his eyes.

    -Was Bill gay? -He frowned. -How? Weren’t you dating?

    -Actually… -She grimaced. -Actually not… We were just very close, and everyone assumed we were together. Since he was afraid of the reaction of his mates from the basketball team… I mean, he already suffered a lot of prejudice just for being black… We kind of confirmed the rumors, just to make sure no one would find out about him. It was his choice, but I wanted to support him, no matter what.

    Desmond just stared at her, dumfolded.

    -How old were you? -He finally found his voice.

    -I was sixteen. -She looked down. -But he realized it when he was twelve. He even had a boyfriend, but the guy dealt… Short story, they split once Bill realized he was in an abusive relationship.

    -Ok… And you deprived yourself from having a relationship for… Three years, just to help him?

    -Almost four… But I don’t really believe I would have had a real boyfriend anyway, but yes, that’s basically it. - She nodded, turning off the oven.

    -No way… -He shook his head in disbelief. -And I thought I was abnormal…

    -We all are one way or another, right? -She smiled, but the awkward silence made her feel bad. -Let's eat before it cools down.
     
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  19. GiBro

    GiBro Well-Known Member

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    I really need your feedback about this, it's driving me crazy and I'm taking forever to revise the next chapters now-.-

    I've postponed the next chapter to Monday, because tomorrow is Father's Day here in Brazil and I won't be able to stop to post it. It's a bit heavy chapter, tell me if you think it's not good, ok?

    hope you're all doing fine:love:;)
     
  20. beewink

    beewink Well-Known Member

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    Ok i actually have been working on this since you first posted about it.
    I've been writing and then rewriting what i wanted to say because while i may have a few constructive criticism comments i don't want them to come across as negative in any way shape or form.

    I'll start off first with you can't make everyone happy no matter how hard you try.
    Your overall story is rich and raw in my opinion. Which is one of the things i love most about it.
    I am a avid reader and was an english major in college. This story is something new and fresh. i haven't read any quite like it before which is one of the many reason i got drawn to it.
    The story build up is a tad slow in some ways but not necessarily in a bad way.
    I read with the thought in mind you were going for a serialized story, which allows a slow build up and for the story to grow in a more organic way that isn't rushed
    I do feel like the way Desmond talks is a bit over the top at times, but given his character and personality it suits him. That can be easily polished up. Having a fowl mouth isn't bad it's just how and when the words are used and what words at what time that make a huge difference.
    I think some of the dialogue issues may be because English isn't your first language but overall you have done phenomenally considering that English isn't your first language.
    I keep an open mind when i read new things and having read Under the Oak Tree and other stories that were not originally published in English
    ive gotten accustomed to the minor things that get lost in translation because of it.
    What you have overall is really good and having put yourself out there the way you have is commendable. I really feel that with a little polishing here and there it will make everything stand out even more. That can easily be accomplished without changing your overall story. I have no negative qualms about the story itself. Im in it for the long hall and can't wait to see it unfold
     
    Last edited: Aug 8, 2021
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