Title: In The Dream Of An Incubus Format: oneshot (actually this is a part extracted from a series work.) Genre: Fantasy, Adventure, Romance Tags: Magic, Incubus, Succubus, Demons, Dreams, Different World Trip, Human x Nonhuman Synopsis: During his sleep, Iriya finds a human woman trespassing into his dream. Not a succubus? Not even the resident of this world? How did she get here? The lust that leaked out from her was sweet, it's the purest taste he's ever had. He's been on a hunger strike for so long, did God grant his wish? But she left as quickly as she came!! No, the next time she comes, she's staying for good! He sets up a magic array to pull her into this world. Spoiler: Click to read When Iriya finally found the method of transitioning objects between worlds, Mari gave her very first smile. His eyes widened with surprise. He's seen too many eager women in his life. There were thick greasy smiles. There were playful smiles and seductive smiles. But the smile on Mari's face was...so different. It wasn't just an expression of happiness. The hope and wordless shock in her eyes struck a chord in him. He fell silent in contemplation. He wasn't completely serious when he found this array method for her. It was only because she was crying too much. He thought to lighten her mood with the good news of her world. This array is a lost elven method and there wasn't any supporting literature explaining its use or magic consumption. Elves are known for their inexhaustible power limits. Although dream demons are also remarkable in this sense, they can't compare. If he started this array, he could experience a power overdraft. But if Mari's eyes would turn to him, and if she would feel the same kind of joy and hope for him, what would it feel like? A power overdraft would just be a temporary condition. It could kill a human but he's an Incubus. There would be no serious repercussions. Why not give it a try? Iriya eye's twinkled with expectation. He lifted his head with a smile. It's just getting a little sick, he would really like to see how she will react. That would be worth it! ... ... They descended into the basement where transmission arrays were usually drawn. Iriya erased the old magic inscriptions for teleporting to the capital city. Line by line, new inscriptions were engraved into the sand on the altar. When the text formed a complete circle, he sent his power into it. Whirrrrr... Purple light flowed into the grooves on the sand. When the entire circle of text lit up, Iriya measured the loss of vitality from his body. Fortunately....fortunately, he could drive this array. It was only a month's collection of vitality. He could even make it up quickly if Mari agrees to feed him. Although there was a feeling of weakness in his legs, he could still continue. The magic inscriptions glowed brighter and brighter and a vortex of wind formed in the middle. Shlp shlp shlp shlp! "Mari!" Iriya turned to call her. It was ready! "Ah, yes!" Mari threw the thick stack of letters she had written for her sister into the vortex. It flapped inside the vortex and was slowly swallowed into nothing. "It's gone..." She stared at the empty space with concern. "With the magic in your saliva, the letter should have been guided to the place you've spent the most time in. We can only hope someone you know passes by there and receives your message." Mari frowned painfully. "We have no way of knowing?" The time she spent the most was in her apartment. The only person who had the keys to her place was her younger sister, and even she wouldn't know if her sister would ever decide to drop by. Moreover, does time even travel at the same speed between this world and earth? She rubbed her temples with worry. "We've already tried it. You can trust the elves' arrays. They are keepers of ancient technology...if your sister ever picks it back up, she can also invoke the magic circle left on it. We can wait slowly for her voice to pass through." Iriya cupped Mari's face gently. Don't be sad. Don't be worried anymore... Slump! "Iriya!" Mari caught his body when he fell. "What happened? Talk to me!" "Hmhmhehe, it's nothing." "How is this nothing? Stop laughing! Don't tell me that array made you like this?" Mari raised her voice worriedly. No! No, why did he do this? Yes, it's true she wanted to return and she was worried about her sister and life on earth. But that doesn't mean he should suffer in exchange for her wish. What is he thinking?! Unconsciously, her hands gripped harder on his shoulders. "Ah..." "What is it? What can I do? Should we contact the hospital, I mean, healer or whatever they have here?" "No...Mari, I've just used up my vitality." "Vitality? Lifeforce?! You fool! Don't tell me you're going to die? You fool! You big fool!" Mari shook Iriya by the shoulders in frustration. Beads of tears gathered at the corners of her eyes. Fool! This fool! Wasn't vitality the basic life force of all living things? It's what gets used up when magic isn't enough wasn't it? "Can you save me, Mari?" "Tell me! What can I do?" "I just need some of your lust. If I eat some of your lust, I'll be good to go." "That..." A flush spread over Mari's face. That...that lust he was speaking of. Was it like that time when they first met? How can she do that? No, it's nothing if she can help. That thing is something very simple. She can do it! ... ... Iriya slumped powerlessly in Mari's embrace. He was heavy, and it was difficult for her to carry him to the cushions in the lounge, but she managed by dragging him slowly. She laid him on the cushioned chairs on the floor. "How, how can I start?" "Can you take off your clothes? Just feed me, please." "Uh!" Mari's face flushed a deeper shade of red. Annoying! He calls these clothes, but the clothes of dream demons are really no different from underwear! Iriya slumped weakly on the cushioned chair, but his eyes glistened with excitement. As he thought, isn't it more exciting when she's the one initiating? It's unexpectedly new, she's removing her bra herself~ Wah... Mari's breasts trembled when the bra was pulled down. Her nipples are a shade between a slight tan and a peachy pink. This is such a pity. If it was in in the day, the way light reflects from her skin would make it look like it's glowing under the sunlight. Ah, pity, a pity~ He licked his lips. It looks really tasty. Ah, Mari is bringing her breasts close to his face. Look at that unwilling expression, she's so shy she's closing her eyes, but she's still blushing. This is so worth it. Iriya poked his finger at the pointed tips. Mari's nipples are slightly hidden, but it's not inverted. He sandwiched it between his lips. When he sucks on it and teases it with his tongue, it starts poking out. Mmm, it's slowly getting bigger and harder in my mouth. It's so cute. ♡ The other nipple shouldn't be neglected. Mhm, it's become sharp after some pinching. It smells so sweet. He heard that females can start producing milk when they are suckled daily. Maybe the pharmacy here will carry some sort of milk promotion medicine. Haaa, he can't wait for it~ The magic power leaking out of her nipples is really warm and sweet. It's heaven...damnit, he just remembered little brother did this too just a day ago. Little brother also got to enjoy Mari's magic power. Annoying!! He should really find that big baby a wet nurse and get him out of the way. Iriya closed his eyes and sensed warm clouds of lust drift out of Mari. He sucked it in with a gulp. Hmm... He squeezed her breast. It's so soft and bouncy, so comfortable... He buried and rubbed his face in between the soft valley. Whack! "You, you're done! You don't look so weak anymore! Get out!" Uhh...Mari chased him out of her room. Oh well, she's still shy. They have lots of time to get along~
I had no idea what was going on at all. No context to what was happening or what even happened at the end.
How much does the 9 fap rating cost @elengee I have $815 nuffies~ @replay What do you think? Is this comparable to male erotica?
@elengee You came before I even finished writing my post!! Yaaaaaay Came!! No..it was pun unintended. @12300 Got it, yeah...it was an excerpt from the main story after all...
Can't fap due to being too short, also ero that starts with sex is a usual sign of it being sub-par, the more you build up the characters the more we'll want to imagine them in a sexual way; To love Ru gradually intensified but always only up to a certain point that keeps it from becoming porn. I'd say Kiss x Sis has the buildup about right albeit a bit slowly. Otherwise , at least it's grammatically well done and your descriptions are decent. So i'll give you half a fap! lol.
Decent descriptions! Yaaaaaay! Thank you @elengee This was a test release. It's actually the 4th/5th chapter. The main reason was just to know the male reader's take on it. Most of the story is 3rd person limited focusing on the female MC's POV. I'll check out the way To Love Ru builds up tension Thank youuuuuu~~~~
If i were to write an incubus story, i'd make it like this guy has dreams that are super realistic and like 'wow i can control what i do' and then unknowingly enters his sisters / mom's dreams and he starts living out his fantasies without having to feel all that guilty since it's just a dream. But then they experience these dreams as well, without him knowing, and they imprint on them as they slowly start to see him in a sexual way.
the master has spoken. . .i'll just wait for the final outcome. . . ps: have you read succubus stayed life?
I liked it, and it's good as it is. You can understand what's happening without too much trouble. It's a bit weird that it changes from the Incubus' thoughts to Mari's thoughts without any hint of it happening, but when you read all the sentence or the paragraph you easily know whose thoughts you are reading.
Yes!! Thank you for that. It's hard to check for tense when I just finish writing it sometimes Thank youuuu It was written in 3rd person limitied POV. Some people say they like 1st person, and others say it's too intrusive. And they prefer the view points of both parties in 3rd person. So I tried experimenting. Glad you actually found it alright!
Female and LGBT+ reader here~! I couldn't get into this one, unfortunately. I feel like there was too much internal dialogue as opposed to actual description and action; or rather, when you turn action into internal dialogue, it doesn't feel like action. His way of talking was a little too cutesy for the sex to be sexy, too. I also didn't realise that you were changing between their thoughts at all, and it just felt like what was supposed to be his internal dialogue was running all over the place from being weirdly 3rd person to 1st person. I found it quite distracting. I do like incubi, though, and the setup to the scene is nice. It seems like you have interesting story attached to this. Unrelated: I think I've been reading too much Chinese BL. When he said "little brother", I thought he was talking about his dick...
@Moonpearl Thank you for dropping by again!! And reading! Yes! I felt that way too the full story is actually dominated by the female MC's POV. This is just a snippet of the male lead's POV to reveal his side of the story. I will try to revise it into more action versus monologue and see if that also serves well as a (sharing his side of the story) part. On another note, would it be difficult to read if the story was in the female MC's POV, and the next chapter right after that was the replay of the exact same events, but from the male lead's POV? ...... That was important to hear, I need to work on my inner man Thank you, I needed to hear that. I'm still not experienced enough in handling POV. That's so reassuring!! My lil bro...third leg...johnny...my supermaaaan Thank you so much Moonpearl
If you want to see what guys find appealing in ero, I'd suggest reading male authors and some hentai first. You've probably done a bit of that anyway, but it really opens the eyes lol. Here's a Chinese ero novel written by a man for men: https://www.novelupdates.com/series/lovely-belle/ It's the least offensive I've found, but it's still about cheating, so you'll have to ignore that -_-. A common trend would be 'forbidden fruit' and 'conquering a woman'. At least there's no rape in this story since the girl is a lewd unsatisfied wife (seems to be a common occurrence in porn lol). There's also a fetish or more as a central theme. Something straight out vanilla will mostly satisfy newbies into porn, since they haven't yet been oversaturated and started seeking more thrilling stuff. Most of all, you can't get shy while writing and chicken out of words like p*ssy, c*ck or going into descriptions (censuring just in case). I can read ero just to pass the time, but I guess a guy would do it to fap, so it has to be sufficiently long. Even ero for women I've read has a 3-chapter-long sex scene (after reading several of those, it got tedious for me lol, but I can see other people enjoying it).
@ludagad Thank you!! （≧∇≦） Still cheating... I will still check it out! Yes!! These archetypes...why are they so popular... Yeah why is NTR used so often?!? I agree. After Your advice, I've figured it out...what I want to write is a fiction that has smut as a tag, not as a genre. I've figured it out... This is sooo difficult but gotta give it a go! T.T I would think so too, usually I'm there for the story and novelty.
No problem, it's my pleasure~! I don't think it would be difficult to read, as there are many stories on NU that go back and replay events from the male lead's POV and I get through those just fine, but I do think it can be boring. Unless the other person's actions and opinions were incredibly shrouded in mystery, or there's a comical mismatch between the original person's perception of the other person and the reality, it doesn't provide anything new enough for the readers to enjoy it. If you're switching between their POVs naturally for other reasons, it can be enough to just work that in the next time you carry on with their part of the story. (In fact, this is usually the best way even if there is a mismatch.) If not, it's usually inadvisable to change POV at all. I'd personally say that a recap chapter like this should also never be used for a sex scene. Sex scenes get "old" very quickly, to the point that a new round of sex has to be vastly different from the last in order to capture the reader's attention at all, and anything else should really be glossed over. There's no way of satisfactorily re-presenting the same round of sexual action. As for the cutesy voice... I'm not a good judge as to whether characters are convincingly like real men, being a woman with not much insight into their inner worlds. I just feel that it reads like your character is doting on his partner rather than being aroused. It's possible to think that someone is cute during a sex scene if you perceive them as cute in an erotic way in that moment, but that subtle difference is really important. Have you read "Marietta-hime no Konrei" before? It's a pretty popular smut novel here on NU. It's Japanese, so it's a little tame, and the writing style is more anime-like than usual erotica, but it's a fantasy vanilla which gives the POV of both leads. It also has a male lead who thinks the female lead is cute at all times. As a series that focuses on a sugary sweet romance and an innocent female lead, I'd say it's a good example of this sort of erotica done well.