Here's a random thought, I was thinking back on life choices like we all do at 3 in the morning about how a person is usually remembered by. So, usually, we remember people for 1 of 2 reasons, 1. Feeling indebted to them. 2. Dislike for the person (while over time this dislike could change...). So what if you manage to make a persons life happier but yet don't let them feel indepted to you... I feel that these types of people are forgotten extremely fast, only slower than a neutral person. Anyway, this is just a random thought and I'm just ranting so...
The evil that men do lives after them; the good is oft interred with their bones. Now go back to sleep; ungodly hours r not 4 pondering.
I say, next time, prepare some coffee (one that is strong and rich with caffeine), add some dark chocolate to the side and when you wake up at 3am to think about such matters, drink the coffee, eat the chocolate, assume this posture And think, when you reach the answer, tell me, because I want to know too
In my whole life (~20y) I consider only 1 Person my friend and I honestly don't regret disliking all the others. It may be sad for some but I honestly think dealing with life on my own is better.
Truth, I remember of my 3th year in school when the teacher asked for 25 cents to print a paper with the work but in that moment I'd not money and she said to me pay later and I did never pay again, cuz I forget to pay her and in the next week I "sorry, but I can't" because the feeling about being right is akward and gets bigger how much time take. So, I avoid her even today when I meet her but I'll keep in this way, you know, much more than 15 years has pass and the snow ball is going... Wait, I can adjust to inflation and give some interest in the 25 cents but noooo... it's getting worse, I'm not able to do it.
When I lend money, I try my hardest not to remember. Most people (friends?) that borrow money don't have a conscience anyway... Well, that's hard. Making someone feel indebted to you means that you've done something of great note to them. But most people don't like looking vulnerable or anything so usually, interactions are too shallow for something of great note to happen. I'd still choose being neutral most of the times. I don't think I'd care much about being forgotten by people I don't care about anyway.
There's only one instance (that came to mind without starting a full on brainstorming) where I'm pretty sure the reason why I remember that person is because I dislike(d) them. But that was from my pre kindergarten days, I didn't have much emotional control and understanding of human nature yet xD Now I rarely let dislike develop to the point where it tops my positive emotions for people, and I also don't like getting indebted to someone... so that's why I don't remember anyone jk Do those two criteria fit the people you remember most? I usually don't press the matter but once I DO remember, and it's like ages afterwards and they haven't paid me back, I take that as a con for being close to them. I'd like people to remember on their own and pay it back without me having to remind them, as I do. Imo those few (or not few) bucks or whatever are probably worth a lot less than the friendship you have with that person. If someone isn't responsible/doesn't value the friendship enough to pay it back and eliminate potential future conflicts through that on their own, then good riddance. Of course, that's not a total make or break point, but it'll be noted and factures into things in case of future doubts about this friendship... sounds kinda harsh but well, I just like making life easy for myself
Money is just money. While I do note that some aren't responsible enough, I just like feeling pleasantly surprised when someone did. So yeah, better not stress about it at all xD
though that probably only works if you really think it's fine ... I don't think I'd be able to xD money is indeed just a bit of paper but it signifies time and energy, and both of those are quite valuable to me ... I dunno, it's just kinda weird
>.> Maybe I should be more money conscious? I dunno. It really stresses me out when people don't fulfill their end of agreement so I just try to forget about it altogether....
that's understandable XD I also tend to just put things aside and not mind them if there's nothing I can really do about them. It definitely helps with staying sane and functioning
As someone who's anxiety ridden for the better part of her life, I'll like you to know that people who made me smile are all fondly remembered in my heart even though I might not have spoken to them for years. Sure, I might not stay up till 3 in the morning to think about them individually. But whenever I pause to take a breather and count my blessings, all these lovely people comes to mind. Do I remember all these people clearly and distinctively? No. I might have even forgotten about some of them. But have all these people touched my life positively? Yes. I hope sleep made you felt better!