Oneshot A slightly morbid box (Mature/Adult)

Thanks for clarifying. I see where I totally read things wrong
Actually thought that was an official disclaimer that she WAS normal (kinda like how you normally write your polls). The poll also confused me a bit ... I kept looking for a question to be answered

Yea, I don't wanna trivialize things by considering them normal. I guess it depends on the situation. Sometimes it's helpful to classify things as normal (certain aspects of autism, learning disabilities, etc).

Sorry to hear about your own experiences. Hope you were able to find assistance or a supportive network.

 

"Normalcy" is a very odd term. The previous poll on Could you abandon a dying person? has direct references to common cultural aspects of the medical profession.

There are many demographic groups where an objectively unhealthy state is "normalized" -- to the point where "normal" is something that I sort of tilt my head towards because I don't really comprehend it anymore.

The medical profession is sort of notorious for burning out people, with "burn out" rates consistently floating in the 40 - 50% range among healthcare workers, so in all probability you are likely to experience such a thing if you are in this profession. Ironically, the people care the most are often the people who are at the highest risk of burning out.

And then... well for students... I have a lot of personal things to say about that, but the objective data is easier to look at first:

So one of my former classmates in medical school killed himself this past spring. We don't really have big classes -- only around 100 people per year -- so that kind of small community event inevitably has a large impact.

My former housemate started taking medication for anxiety/depression just after medical school started, and well... there were a lot of incidents... a lot of people who fail exams... need to stay back for one year... two years... a lot of bad things that people encounter... with all kinds of different people... everyone has breakdowns... inevitably... A very tiny minority of people stay what you would be able to call "emotionally healthy" through the entirety of the process.

No matter what kind of person that you are, that kind of environment will affect you.

If anything, I was probably one of the "better" ones.

But even still, during my hospital rotations I was literally coming home every night and crying into my pillow. When you take a "mask" off after working (or pretending to be somebody that you aren't) for 10-14 hours a day, it's very easy to become emotional and have everything simply fall apart, because we hold a lot of stuff in.

I think I'm a relatively objective person, and I would venture to say that if you are coming home from work and crying every day -- it's probably not normal for ordinary people -- nor is it probably very healthy for you.

However, when it is normal among your peers or normal in your profession... what the heck is it?

Normal... normal.........

- - -

Sometimes I look at suicide rates for different demographics (note: the healthcare field isn't even remotely the highest), since I'm invested in various different social issues, I think the crazy statistics that always mind-boggle me are the high suicide rates in LGBT populations.

Attempted suicide rates for transgender population (mind you: this isn't merely suicidal ideation) - From the American Academy of Pediatrics (2018)

• Transgender men: Attempted suicide (50.8%)
• Transgender women: Attempted suicide (29.9%)
• Nonbinary transgender: Attempted suicide (41.8%)

I think it is insane that 50% of a demographic has that kind of attempted suicide rate.

That is beyond normalization to.... I don't know what else to call it.

"Normal" is just........ I really don't know what there is you can say about "normal".

 

The thing is, I don't think you captured and expressed these thoughts and feelings you explained to me in the story.

Basically, this story makes sense to you explicitly because of your experience and perspective. No one else has that and thus it doesn't come across right to anyone else. All of these nebulous moments aren't interwoven into a whole cohesive narrative and are too disjointed for the reader. So it comes across as a story with interesting moments, but not really an interesting story or with anything really profound to say about the protagonist.

 

Noted. I profess I don't know the studying pressures of med school. At my age, the stories I usually hear are usually about residents freaking out over Match Day, anesthesiologists bragging what pills they are popping (from the hospital stash), or doctors complaining about bratty residents / the annoying talk they have to give at some symposium. Yea you can work out how old I am from there

The term "normal" can be a double-edged sword. In grief, understanding the spectrum of what's normal helps to define whether grievers are experiencing situation depression, chronic depression, etc. For people who've never experienced it before, framing things as normal can be helpful for obvious reasons. Same thing with mild learning disabilities ... kids who fidget constantly don't necessarily have ADHD.

For the US medical profession in particular, agreed that the system is out of whack. I worked in pharmaceutical consulting in the past so am familiar with US healthcare. While I can respect the level of medical care as a result of the high barriers to entry, the low supply of doctors doesn't make much sense and artificially inflates the cost of everything. The issue is endemic to all levels, from big pharma to hospital systems and insurers. Even the recent biologics vs biosimilars legal battles are a joke. It's scary how distorted healthcare can become in the pursuit of profit.
Reminds me of several consulting firms where they deliberately keep a diamond structure to inflate their fees and reduce the number of principals ... skinny at the bottom, fat in the middle, skinny at the top.
While I empathize your difficulties, it's a choice you made =) Maybe look forward to quickly paying off med school fees with higher income in a few years? Or get into the "slacker but high paying" job in radiology. Not sure if AI is taking over that though.

 

I'm kind of with Arcturus for this one, it seems way too dry and linear and report like rather than a story and there is the disjointedness when the story gets derailed to "explain" things which makes it seem disjointed and patchy.

This story doesn't quite "flow" right.

 

I ended up reordering a paragraph or so, so I hoped that helps focus the theme a little tighter.

Not sure if it really helps with the "linear-ness" and "report-like" qualities of it, but the story is inherently epistolary in nature. The narrator is unreliable and she's intended to be portrayed as someone who has difficulty processing things.

 

*pat pat* Ganbatte

 

"Normal" and "common sense" almost same, because they are collective unwritten agreement. For example if whole town is agree yellow color called blue and after 2 or 3 generation most people will say yellow is blue....

So "normal" is vargue consept, just take porn game for example. The sex is very open just with little talk you can go directly to bed, for you it's very strange if stranger just came,chat for few minutes and ask for hit bed directly? Probably you reject it, but for character in game think it was normal, so they accept it.

For me the consept of "normal" is connected for common sense, culture, environment, and education. Basically even there some small variation or normal but the content or intent still same. For example "sky is blue" most people will agree with this statement because it common sense but science say sky is not blue but it was reflection.

Did you know some people debate if our culture and law is designed for making us money slave? It's say, "we work for money, even if we slowly killing our self"

 

Based on personal values, Marie is going to hell. I'm going to hell. Everyone is going to hell. Of course, no one would go to hell since I'm not a Christian.

Go see a therapist. Go talk to a friend or family member. Think on it.

What was the question again?