I could have sworn I read a thread about this just a few days ago... Edit: here it is! https://forum.novelupdates.com/threads/romanticising-abusive-relationships.111210/
Yes, abuse is portrayed as love in romance novels. most of them, chinese novels are merely more blatant this is why i dont read the romance genre seems like the only time its good is when its been recommended to me, and is light touch. wait. i only have one good romance book from all those ive dared exposed myself to? adventure and fantasy is better genre. my view is that abuse is very common place so writers dunno how to write a love story that isnt abusive very well... and if it seems like that then they wont know how to organically make the charactwrs meet and will throw in bad stuff like 'X was following Y around until they met and tada romance' if you are curious manga Angel Densetsu was the good romance from my foggy recollection many years ago. Nanashi no asterism almost goes... but thats Spoiler: plot unrequited love. which is good cuz if they dont match or one is unwilling then of course they shouldn't get together. some novela try bad tactic of unrequited since no match but *abuse* now its requited
Tons of women of all ages seem to love toxic relationships if the sales of books like Twilight or Fifty Shades of Gray are of any indication. Just take it as the female equivalent of men obsessed with ecchi & harem. As long as there is a demand, there will be supply.
Lmao you can see so many over bearing president troupe out there, it's especially common in all those webcomics , honestly I don't even know why but it's fanbase is ridiculously huge. Even if there is a good second male lead who is kind and adorable but NO the fking stupid FL always goes for the arrogant overbearing dude who always misunderstands her, accuses her and even in few ones rapes her and then causes her to misscarry!!! Simply outrageous that in the end of the day she choses the abuser over the caring second male lead who was there when she needed support the most , like the FUCK, I can't express my resentment enough against those authors
Well, I honestly enjoy reading abusive relationship or just any kind of weird ass relationship just to see how well the author develop it. Sure, it is overused. But most people like drama and suffering as long as they're not the one experiencing it. Right?
I can sort of understand your point—after all, in my writing, I have the tendency to torture my characters and put them in bad relationships, I just can’t seem to help myself, but if the story ends that way, it’s meant to be seen as a BE, not a HE. What I think a lot of people, including me, have a problem with, is writers writing abusive relationships as happy endings.
Women loved to be conquered, they want abuse but not in the sense of getting beaten up black and blue. They want to have a man that can take control. You see all the things that are pushed in the media like men need to express their emotions more, or treat them more like a queen. Speaking from experience, I can tell you, treat a girl too much like a queen and they will take advantage of you. Hence the phrase, nice guys finish last. Those girls will only want you if there is no other choice. On the other hand, you have to not be too forceful cand beat the crap out of girls cause you will end up in court. Try to find the sweet spot, an example would be don't back down from what you believe and make her able to at least see why you would think that is the truth if you are in a relationship. Also, never ever show your emotions in front of a girl unless you want to be treated like crap. I am speaking in general terms so, there could be exception to the rule. Hope for the exception but expect that you will get the average general population of women.
Women like actual nice guys. I know, because I’m married to one. The guys who call themselves “nice guys,” tend to be creeps, stalkers, and abusive rage machines.
I feel as it’s more a matter of “you’ll know it when you see it” then adhering to a strict definition, but fine. I can give you what I love about my husband and spread dog food. My husband is kind, thoughtful, considerate, and caring. He makes me feel loved and he makes me feel safe. He’s someone I can be myself around and don’t have to worry about being judged. He respects me and my decisions and is able to communicate with me.