Novel Antagonist Rewind

Discussion in 'Community Fictions' started by Minaku, Aug 23, 2016.

  1. Minaku

    Minaku Writer

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    Motivation happened =P
     
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  2. SquadCammander354

    SquadCammander354 『Early Life Crisis』〖Stormy's Bro〗『Lord of Storms』

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    So, it's on hold?
     
  3. Minaku

    Minaku Writer

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    Yea...
     
  4. SquadCammander354

    SquadCammander354 『Early Life Crisis』〖Stormy's Bro〗『Lord of Storms』

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    Then can I ask why you started this series?
     
  5. NZPIEFACE

    NZPIEFACE Leecher

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    Motivation?
     
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  6. Minaku

    Minaku Writer

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    Somewhere to dump all the ideas i had for novels. It was an experiment to see if i could write.
     
  7. SquadCammander354

    SquadCammander354 『Early Life Crisis』〖Stormy's Bro〗『Lord of Storms』

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    Want some feedback? Beware though, I've only read to chapter 84.
     
  8. Minaku

    Minaku Writer

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    sure, always appreciate constructive criticism. (although i already addressed the dialogue format issue in the late late chapters)
     
  9. SquadCammander354

    SquadCammander354 『Early Life Crisis』〖Stormy's Bro〗『Lord of Storms』

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    "Opinions" I'm not good at questioning so I'm just gonna write some opinions, okay? Well then, "bowl of gruel" honestly, I feel like something more futuristic like Nutrition Transformer would have appeared, here's the concept(this is my version of the one in the novel "Tempest of the Battlefield" chapter 4(so it's not plagiarizing))it can turn inedible organic matter into an edible pill that has a similar level of nutrient content, the taste would be bland if not flavorless(that's the only difference). This seems more inexpensive to deal with prisoners(though I do feel like they would kill themselves due to that), that would have been nice(talking about the device, not their suffering).
    Next is Aura, it's too vague(I think) and is too lukewarm, it's capabilities isn't really described much.
    As for battles, it doesn't draw you in enough, it doesn't feel satisfying, and it's not descriptive(I'm not talking about an info f*ck*the only curse* but we want it to be powerful and have a seemingly fast pace without actually being short(I'm starting to wonder what I'm trying to tell you), ever seen a Jackie Chan movie(never saw one), or an interview about how to make a successful scene(Yeah)? I think he said that when he did a fight scene, in one shot you've already hit an opponent, next shot, a scene of his hit still making it's way, close up. In doing so, it makes the hit seem stronger. It's fast, and immerses you(Just so you know, this is just from me watching one scene from one movie, so if it's wrong I apologize).

    I can say some more if you want?

    (I'm editing this sometimes)