I am loving these light novels, manga, and animes that were introduced to me by my sister a couple of years ago. I have been curious about many things Asian and have looked stuff up, such as: How many emperors only had one wife and no concubines? 1 And what was the largest amount of concubines for one emperor? Around 40,000 But, there are still things I would like to know that are not facts, and are hard to research. Such as: Does the Asian culture believe the woman has been unfaithful if she was raped? Or drugged by someone and sent to a man's bed? Do most parents really perfer boys over girls? (Idk how you would even answer this one.. percentages?, ratio?). Were there any times where the family lived in peace with the father having a wife and concubines? (I just thought this one up and will probably research it, but if you have the answer I'd love to hear it). Thanks in advance!
You know saying Asian culture doesn't reaallly help.... There's like a shit ton of different cultures in Asia..
Rape unfaithful no, but "tainted" yes though there are regional variations, for example Genghis Khan's wife was kidnapped and given away as another man's wife until she was rescued but due to this, there were problems with the parentage of the son that was born soon after. She was still considered his wife (and Grand Empress) until her death. Yes, Asians do prefer boys over girls due to lineage, they want a son to carry on the family name. As for how "unwelcomed" a girl is, it depends on the family. For example, if a family had 4 beefcake boys, a single girl would probably be seen as a relief for the family (I think there was a Chinese saying that "a girl is her mom's warm winter jacket, so it's not like they were all seen as waste), but in reverse, if a family only had one girl and no boys to carry on the family name, the girl's life probably won't be so good. To them, the best situation is a "balance" of yin and yang, one male, one female. In fact, their word for "good" 好 is "one female, one male" 女= female, 子 = son As for the concubines and wives, you got to remember that China is a big place, it is not uncommon for people to not be in contact for decades. Someone can have a wife in one city and another in a different city and they might never meet at all in their lives. In fact, I recall even Western sailors having similar situations like "a wife in every port", so it's hardly unique to the Chinese.
Rape being the women's fault is a strange thing to believe. Some people probably think so but definitely not the majority. Unfaithful is still a fact though since well... it's technically factual. This perception is just as prevalent in America as China. It's just more hidden in China? Mainstream media in China can't actually expose anything damaging about China's image after all. ^Nightow1 said it better, "tainted" is definitely a more accurate way of saying it than unfaithful. The women are shamed and treated worse after being raped so it's hard to go public with the information etc. Plenty of problems to go around. Chinese parents definitely prefer boys over girls. I'm sure you can dig up the abnormal male to female ratio in Chinese people under the age of 30 compared to the rest of the world. You can also search for abortion rates or straight-up child abandonment for girls. No, the word 'concubine' itself is outdated and nobody uses it. There are families in China where the wife has to accept that the husband is sleeping with their mistress but no, I don't personally know of cases where the entire family knows of it and accepts it. So no, polygamy isn't a thing.
Kinda. I only know about China so take what i say with a grain of salt. Because of the One-Child Policy, people prefered males over females, many thought the former were believed to be more useful (manual work etc.) for the family which created an issue where milions of chinese males in recent years are desperately seeking a wife. So to answer your question, old people probably prefer males over females, but nowdays with the millenials coming to an age where they should be married, this is not a problem, at least from my experience. (btw i don't have numbers sorry) Edit: About the lineage thing, that's true too. I kinda forgot about that one. Because i was born in Europe i didn't study a ton of chinese history so i don't really know but imo families with wife and concubines that were in "peace" with each other should have existed but probably some of them are not recorded.
Let's assume he is talking about Chinese culture. These are my observations. Maybe. In Ancient China, women are generally treated very poorly. But chastity is one of those things prevalent in almost every single human culture, so don't take it as though it is unique to Asian cultures. Yes, because they want a son who can carry on the family line. As women will generally marry into the husband's family and take their surname, most Chinese parents prefer a son. China's one-child policy back in the 1980s didn't help either. Yes to this as well, but once again, not unique to Asian culture. Ménage à trois exists.
Let's start by saying that Asian culture englobes Near East, Middle East and Far East, giving us a hodgepodge of cultures that includes Russia, India or Korea, just to name a few. That said: It depends on the specific culture of the region in question. Even if we narrow it down to the Middle East, depending on the country a rape victim is a victim or an offender (though many people will only point to the ones where the second is true). That happens in many cultures. Boys are more hands for heavy labour and also the ones that will perpetuate the family, while girls more often than not end up joining the family of their in-laws. Which is why even in Europe/America there were times where parents purposely foiled the chances of marriage of one daughter in order to have someone to care for them in their old age. Yes. The peace in any family does not depend on the number of wives (or husbands) and is more conditioned by clashing personalities and environment.
Does the Asian culture believe the woman has been unfaithful if she was raped? Or drugged by someone and sent to a man's bed? Depends. Unfaithful? You did have to be retarded to really think that, which describes pretty well 95% of those generic rebirth or revenge novels. IRL what old fashioned people care about is the image that it gives, not the woman being faithful or not, they don't want their son to marry 'used goods'. Which sadly is predominant in rural China, Korea or even Japan, where education wasn't really at its finest. Do most parents really perfer boys over girls? In India? Definitely. In China? Depends. Sons were expected to inherit the business and take care of the old. Whereas the daughter once married would be lost to the husband's family. Nowadays with education being granted and improved in rural China plus the lift on the 1 child policy the situation is slowly improving. Were there any times where the family lived in peace with the father having a wife and concubines? Other than hundreds if not thousands of years ago? No. Polyamory isn't really a big thing in China or Japan even if harems tell you otherwise. Royal families aside of course.
I think Japan’s current emperor has only one wife. Is that the “1” you were referring to? Although going up the lineage on Wikipedia, there seems to be several emperors with only one spouse.
Ok, I’ve not researched this and it may only be in the rural areas when she was young, but this is what my grandmother told me: There was a pretty well known practice back then where rich parents would search out 14-16 year old “wise concubines” (I really don’t want to use “concubine,” because there’s actually a separate word for that position, but there seems to be no English equivalent) for their 5-8 year old sons. They would look for “good” hardworking girls and send a request to the family. The family will then agree or refuse. If they agree, the girl will be asked if she was willing, and (most importantly) why. If the answer pleases the boy’s parents, they will take her in and pay the girl’s family as per agreed on, be it through connections or anything else. Usually, it’s a renovation/expansion of their house, settlement of any existing debts, and enough money that the family will not have to worry about working for 3 years. Depending on how satisfied they are with the girl’s answer, this payment can increase to settle all her troubles and worries, or even more. These girls end up being a cross of babysitter, housekeeper, and pet. They would keep the sons out of trouble, care for them, teach them common knowledge, allow them to know and appreciate how blessed they are for being born in such a rich family, and present themselves as a wife for the child to practice being “responsible.” And, once the child is old enough, They would be responsible for introducing them to carnal pleasures. Once the child is old enough to marry, she will cooperate with her in-laws to select a main wife candidate from the list provided by the matchmaker. These candidates will generally be from a family with equal standing (rich and educated). The younger wife would then be the one to birth the family heir. Until an heir is born, her hierarchy and will be under that of the wise concubine, and then an equal after. The children of the wise concubine will be treated the same as the non-heirs of the wife. All the children will call both “mother.” If an heir is not born, and the wise concubine has no children to fill the position (or if she hates the wife, but this is rare since she has a say in who the wife is in the first place), the wise concubine may agree for the male to marry in “true” concubines (yes, the wise concubine and not the wife must agree) and she will be the mediator for any disputes. Should the male die, the wife will be the sole matriarch if there is a male heir born from her. Should the heir be from anyone else, the wise concubine and wife shall co-rule.
It’s like saying European culture. Confusing the French and Germans together.... Or the Irish and the English... Or even Italian and Sicilian...
I genuinely believe that sailors committing adultery in different ports in all parts of the world is a universal stereotype as of any different country cause that what we jokingly think of sailors here in my country in SEA whether it's true or not i wouldn't know lol.
Wow! So much information. This is awesome! I understand saying Asian is like saying Europe. However I am referring to the light novel, manga, anime countries i.e., China, Japan, Korea, Taiwan. I don't think I've read anything coming out of Iran, Iraq, or even India. I think it is great that people went mostly with China to explain things. If anyone wants to talk about another countries ways please do! I just remembered that the mentality in America towards those who have been raped has slowly been changing. Very slowly. Change takes time. The boy being in favor for lineage and China's rule for 1 child makes sense. But we girls are much more fun, and cute, and sweet.. @Illisaide Your grandmas story about the "wise concubine" is fascinating! I am genuinely surprised that is actually a thing. In America I heard the sailor thing was a girl in every port, but what do I know? It could be a wife. @Anra7777 I did not know Japan's leader only had 1 wife. Could he have more if he wanted? I looked up ancient emperors and it said there was only 1 who had the 1 wife. The emperor's mother was killed by the harem jealousies and he didn't want to put his wife or kids through that. His son, who took his place had a huge amount of concubines, didn't run the country well, and was known as a player. He left no heirs. I think it was Tiawan emperor that recently got a divorce from a girl he just let into the harem. I just can't imagine any women being happy to be in an harem. Anyway.. I will definitely come up with more questions. I'm not trying to offend anyone, I am seriously interested in this culture just from reading the light novels, mangas, and watching anime. Right now I'm trying to get someone to make congee for me, I want to try it so bad. Feel free to add your own questions!
Don't forget, the US isn't that into family lineage transmission, Eastern families still are. And not knowing who the kid belongs to is a huge problem for them. In fact, even in English, the term "Cuckold" is derived from "Cuckoo", the bird that lays its own eggs in another bird's nest.
I wonder wh Well, shouldn't you technically say a Sicilian is technically Italian? That is, if you use "Italian" to refer to all the ethnic groups of Italy?
I have another question.. Why are maiden names used when talking to a married woman, mother-in-law, grandma? Is this a real life thing, or a light novels thing? Example: Ye Yuwei married Mr. Gu (in The Bumpy Road of Marriage). She is referred to as Madam Ye, Ye Yiwei etc. Very seldom is she referred to as Mrs. Gu.
But, would people think him a cuckold if his girlfriend or wife was raped? Maybe back in the olden days, but now?