First of all, this is NOT a serious thread Due to reasons (don't ask) I googled "man dying during sex" and read the wikipedia-article (read it, there are examples, among them a pope) In it, I also found a link to a newspaper article about a couple being attacked by a lion while getting kinky in the bush, with the women getting eaten and the man running away, clad only in a condom. Now, I'm evil enough to laugh about the hilarity of it (even if I assume it's a fake story, with the women's name being reported as Mai Desire) Add in jokes like this Spoiler: Joke Three dead guys are in line waiting to get into heaven. Before they go in, St. Peter asks them how did they die. So he asks the first man and the first man says, "Well I've suspected for a while that my wife had been cheating on me with another man so I came home early from work on purpose. When I got back to the apartement she was lying naked in bed like she had just been having sex. So I checked under the bed and there was no one there. I checked in the closet and there was no one there, so I looked on the balcony and there was some guy hanging from the railing. I got so angry I beat his hands until he fell, then I ran back in the apartement, grabbed the refridgerator, brought it back out, and dropped over the railing right on top of him. Then I was so mad I had a heart attack and died and came here." St. Peter said, "It sounds like you've had it rough, so I'll let you in." The next man walks up and gets asked the same question. So this man says, "I was in my apartement when I slipped and fell over the railing. I was able to grab onto the railing of the apartement below me but then this guy starts pounding on my fists until I fall. Then he goes and dumps this refridgerator on me and I wound up here." St. Peter lets this guy in too because he has also had it rough. Then the third guy comes up and is also asked the question. This guy replies, "Okay, so I'm banging this married chick when the husband comes home early. So I go and hide in the refridgerator..." Now, I want you out there to come up with the most hilarious, outlandish or just painful things that can happen during sex As in, mother walks in (if teenager), little sister walks in, screams for her mother cause the two partner are fighting, significant other of one partner (bonus points if significant other of both partner barge in, playing on a thryst of their own) They don't need to be too realistic, just creative and funny - do your worst!
Doing it in a funeral casket (imagine a huge one capable of holding you and 'll your belongings) with your dead lover in the middle of a funeral, making a bunch of noise that causes people to look into the casket and find you sticking your dick into a dead lady.
so a woman who was a necrophile who was at the morgue got pregnant after basically raping a dead guys body desu~
All I can think of are the various things men get their penises stucked into. The metal floor with holes, rings, nuts, in recent water bottle. Then I recall a korean medical drama, with a dude got his penis "fractured" during penetration as the gf got no vagina or something. Ps, google knows me well, i just typed female and one of the search is the reproductive system.
At first I thought you were asking for stories of bad things that've happened while we (NUF general public) were having sex but that's a completely different topic. If you've ever watched 1000 Ways To Die, there's a number that involve sex. Including one where a Furry mistook an actual bear for a person in costume and tried to yiff it only to be mauled.
'Totally not me' She was on top and riding. I then said, "I'm gonna send you to the moon", pounding harder. I then farted. She had to get off from the laughter.
Broken penis due to inexperienced rider Injured lower back due to vigorous plowing Broken condom Deliberately broken condom AIDS..... Finger up the bum from overly kinky stranger Too much teeth during oral Yeast infection spreading to the mouth Falling asleep after blowjob at the annoyance of spouse (guilty) Overstimulation leading to blood clots due to Viagra Fear boner People seeing your face doing the vinegar stroke (Google it) Erectile disfunction
some couple was having sex against a window and it shattered and they fell out and died on the shards of glass on the yard
nice joke i laughed also the worst ive experienced is being unable to undo the bra (its depressing if you cant do it and your gf has to do it)