For a prologue this is good erotica. Not enough to fap though. Not enough description, you could explain how both characters are feeling as key points to the audience. A subtle indicator for how close orgasm is coming and also just before orgasm the action should be more intense, detailed and urgent, frantic even.
Chapter 1 I promised to summon if the thread was frozen. Even though it isn't, you might still not get this chapter update if you didn't click 'Watch Thread' on top of the thread. Do so... or list your name to the summoning list by messaging me on my profile. Spoiler @Slikrapids @SquadCammander354 @Kurono @Tabeleta @flamingwolf456 @DiabolicGod @SamGoingHam @Kenshi @roadnii @RTS @Houtaro @Krawd @Falatharo @Sanyano @mohammed @Immortalone @adam2502 @Darkanlan @Frederic755 @Victor069 @Verethragna97 @IMM @Mantrazz @lolilolinepu @Fossil If you have any comments for improving the story, stuff you didn't like or want to give ideas for the next chapter, feel free to comment. The next chapter will explore more of the male MC's personality and character (as he was mute due to being gagged, he didn't have much of a impression). The crazed rapist little sister, how did you like her? The first chapter was to introduce her grandly! This isn't a one girl story, the next one will be more reasonable! Or perhaps crazier! Female readers if any, do you want to kill me for making you read this? I know I reeled you in by the synopsis promising girl raping the guy, did it live up to expectations? Also, look at the first posts. Tags are more clear.
Chapter 2 She gently ran her hand down his sleeping figure and felt a sudden tingle go down her crotch. She slowly traced her finger down his hand. There were no muscles and when she pressed down, only faint veins could be traced. The curtains are closed, it is still dark yet the catlike luster in her eyes allows her to see his peacefully sleeping figure… Which immediately causes sinful scenarios to flash in her eyes. “Aah… It was only a touch, so why am I already…” A stain appeared upon the hot pants she was wearing. Having changed before sleeping, she was wearing a white camisole, black hot pants and white stockings. Almost involuntarily, her other hand had sneaked inside her pants. The panties that were stuck into his mouth and splattered with his seed yesterday had her love juice fill them, making it even messier. With her finger, she slightly touched the damp cloth before sticking it down her wet hole, stroking it. With her other hand, she ran her fingers down from his arms that were wiry and thin. Even in childhood those arms were the warmth that would shield her from the cold… Those arms looked so weak and fragile now. Running her fingers upon the chest that had sunken in, she played with the hair. Her fingers wandered upon the feet that were like sticks, the flesh nowhere to be found. Her other hand seemed to be working involuntarily, stroking her clit. Her other fingers played with the erogenous zones, the folds of her pussy and further inside. His sickly looking body wasn’t attractive by any means. Normally, he would be careful to keep himself looking presentable, and his sickly body would look like the wiry frame of a teenager. But he had already turned 18 and she knew what he was desperately trying to hide. “The countdown to the ending is reaching zero… I know you don’t want to trouble me… you’ve been hiding it all the while… Ahh…” She moans while saying out her thoughts. Even though he can’t hear, she speaks with a whisper. “I know… three years of life left… the moment the time comes, you’ll just die… You don’t deserve it… Even if you hate me… even if that woman will berate me… I…” The arousal of her body reaches the limit, and it is on the verge of exploding out. She grabs his hand that she had been caressing tightly and brings it to stroke her pussy. It isn’t a stroke but more of a slap, yet the pain is somehow multiplies the arousal within her as she orgasms. Her head rolls back and her eyes close like a purring cat, her face clearly showing extreme satisfaction. “Iiiyaahhh…!” How immodest. The her who is careful to keep noise quiet in consideration of his sleep, immediately breaks the rule and awakens him. “Uh…?” He wakes up immediately due to the loud noise. No matter what, he is quick to react to danger. “Good morning, onii-chan. It seems you had a good sleep.” She immediately pulls the curtains away, and light bathes his half-naked body. The clothes that were torn off during the confinement of last night still aren’t replaced, all cut and torn. His hair are pepper-gray, the dye he used to cover them having worn off and his skin is pasty white. He looks like a person who fell on to the wrong path as a youth, destroying himself by drinking and drugs. This unarousing sight to any other girl causes the flame of lust in her rouse to its limit. Sleeping upon his back, the tent in his crotch can be clearly seen fanning the flames further. Even though he has awoken, he still hasn’t reacted. He is rather slow like that, not a fighter at all. In the time it takes for him to perform an action, she can take five. The blanket covering him falls off. The sorry remnants of his pants are torn off. The magnificent cock shrouded by the covering is exposed. Two long white stocking-clad feet grasp the cock between them, their owner seated upon a chair on the side of the bed. “Aah…” His moans are soft, not wanting to show his arousal. But they are heard and in response, the feet start moving, caressing his length almost lovingly. “Eh…” His moan is softer this time, but she doesn’t care. Her feet expertly stroke his cock until it is up at full mast, rearing to explode. His balls aren’t spared affection, her toes deftly flicking them. “Onii-chan… You are really something, aren’t you? Last night you were complaining about how making love to me is taboo and now you are already hard without a touch…” Her words are cool like the shivers running through his back. “It isn’t… something… like that…” He speaks word by word, afraid of his voice betraying pleasure. “Ah, in what way?” She curiously asks. Onii-chan knows many things, even though that knowledge’s usually useless. “Men… can be aroused… easily… my right hand…” The sentence is incomplete, yet the meaning… is easy to get. The implication that her feet cannot compare to masturbation arouses her pride as a woman, and the result is that he is unable to speak a word again. Seeing his face contort in delight that he is reluctant to feel, a hand goes down into her panties once more. Having come once, the state of arousal in her body builds up once more. But orgasm seems difficult to achieve. And just then, he speaks once more. “Right hand… better… Would’ve come…” The sentence is still broken up but the fire in her body seems to dull hearing it. Her feet slow down for a moment, and he takes the moment to speak five deadly words. “You kinda suck at this.” And hearing it, the reluctance to hurt her brother after last night disappears in a blink. “Well then, let’s see how good YOU are at sucking Onii-chan!” The her that was sitting on the chair comfortably while playing around with her brother’s length seems to disappear. In a blink, a weight appears upon his head and his tongue that was let out when he spoke is covered by the folds of her cunt. His penis that was being stroked by her stretched out legs was now held in a scissor by the stocking-clad white feet. Her lithe body sits upon his head, his tongue in her cunt and his cock between her feet. She slowly begins rocking, allowing the pleasure his tongue gives her to multiply. Her feet aren’t holding back, stroking the cock between them vigorously. Somewhat at a loss on where to put her hands, she notices the two nipples on his chest and starts playing with them, pulling, pinching, tickling and stroking. He is in a worse position that last night, his lips servicing her pussy and his cock being stroked by her feet. The addition of the fingers playing with his nipples multiplies the pleasure felt by him, sending him into a state where he is a step away from climaxing. Just then, she stands up. Her cunt leaves his tongue, her feet leave his cock and her fingers stop stroking his nipples. Her orgasm is soon to come but light years away and the arousal thrumming through her body courses in anticipation for it. But she too knows that he too must be feeling this inadequacy, of standing a step away from the ultimate pleasure. “Onii-chan, so how is my technique? If you redo your opinion on it, I might help you up a bit.” Her voice is cutely whimsical, knowing that she is in control of him. His right hand is raised. Seeing it, her eyes see red. “You little…!” Her body’s position changed in a blink. She contorts her marvelous figure like a gymnast, her left and right arm supporting her body into an angle. Her cunt rises to intercept his hand from reaches the place it seeks. It is only a brief moment but it feels like eternity. The pleasure coursing through her is incomparable to anytime before. All this while, she was taking action, he always held back himself, acting as if he was a saint. But just once when he took initiative… Consciousness faded away in blink. Her body lost the strength to hold herself up and she fell… right atop his crotch. She immediately orgasmed, love juice springing out from her cunthole, watering his body like a gardener's pail watering flowers. His right hand that rose up… never got the chance to fulfill its mission. But the softness of her butt that fell upon his length and the love juice splattering upon his body was enough to save him from the hell of orgasm denial. White seed splattered out, covering her buttocks and making her awaken. She stripped off a stocking and began cleaning it up. “Pervert, you made such a mess. Always using your right hand and having no experience with women, you are an idiot. Fortunately you have a good imouto and she will save you from the trash heap you have stuck yourself in!” Pointing out her finger at his prone figure that had just climaxed, she spat out shameless, hypocritical lines. A/N: Dedicated to Ninefaps Daoist @elengee
hm, i like it. Also the title is rather interesting now that i get a good look at it. Bloodline? This implies quite a few things just by itself. I wonder if you plan to do anything with them, would make for some nice plot points.
bullshit i wont accept that! 2000 nuffies says her love juice heals whatever ailment that bastard is suffering from and they live happily ever after with their two kids, their big black bloodhound Jerome the aptly named cat known as Sir Pounce-A-Lot Oi, you got all there stories with magically healing semen...why not this? Its plausible, eh? Pls no tragedy end
Going for more ero scenes than plot? I guess you should focus on this part instead and begin with plot progression on every chapter so that your readers would enjoy increasing their right hand stats...
Interlude: Before Night On top of the bed where the two committed taboos, a new bedsheet is rolled and a tray of biscuits and tea is placed. Brother and sister look each other in the eye, a battle of wills. He stares at his sister with an indifferent expression. She guiltily puts her head down. “I didn’t expect you to have such pent up sexual desire. It’s been nearly 8 years since Mother took you with her for your training. You couldn’t find a guy all this while?” His question completely ignores the elephant in the room. Her frustration rises. “Onii-chan, please don’t pretend anymore. I love you and you love me too! Don’t hide from your feelings anymore!” Her words aim to convince him of a truth that he refuses to acknowledge… but this could only be her belief. “…Adelicia, don’t be so willful.” In her childhood, she preferred being called imouto and hated her named. Only when he was completely serious would he use it. “There is NO way that I can have any other feeling apart from brotherly love for you. And anyway…” “I have 3 years of life left and you spring this on me? Why won’t you let me live the last years of my life in peace?” His words are exasperated, completely ignoring his coming end. What she doesn’t know is that he died once and thus, his fear of death is quite reduced. “Onii-chan… you do know how the problem of your lifespan can be solved. You are simply too unwilling to acknowledge it.” She stays her words with sternness, but his sarcastic laugh ruins the intimidation. “Well then, spell it out for me. Tell me the miraculous solution.” His smile seems tacked on as he asks. “We should have sex! As a female of the Sevennight blood lineage, I have received the divine blessing and you have received the divine trial. Magical energy in your body has been forcefully building up, it has already shattered your mana network and it is poisoning you from the inside! If we just have sex, there will be a polar reversal of curse and blessing and…-” “Stop speaking bullshit which you don’t even understand.” He immediately interrupted her. “If this curse was only something that could easily be solved by sex, do you think I would have stubbornly remained a virgin? It isn’t like I have a death wish or chastity vow or something like that.” At his words, she answered. “The Sevennight blood lineage’s curse can only be mitigated by the Sevennight blood’s blessing. If you had tried it with some other woman, the consequences would be… fatal.” “It isn’t like that but more complicated. This isn’t a simple curse but on the level of a divine trial, 7 seals that need to be broken, something that is a trial by a god. A ‘divine trial’ beginning at the age of 16 won’t simply be resolved by sibling sex. It also requires ‘two hearts coming together’ or something like that. On top of that, that is only ‘one-night’ and adds 7 years to the lifespan. To unseal all seven seals, I somehow need to bang 7 women who share the Sevennight bloodline or something similar that allows them to resist my curse and reverse it to a blessing and on top of that, there is the ‘two hearts coming together’ bullshit.” His voice sounded exasperated and she realized that he had researched more into the curse while she had simply found a note in a book within the library. But, the most important thing was that he knew and acknowledged that sex was the only way to break the curse upon him. So next… “So why are you so reluctant? Sex is sex and after we do it once and successfully break the curse, we… won’t have to do it again.” She was blatantly lying. The moment they did it once, the ‘barriers’ against the taboo in his heart would break and it wouldn’t be too long before they would do it again. “…Apart from mother, we two are the only descendents of the Sevennight bloodline. The curse is impossible to break.” After he said these words, awkwardness descended between them. She took a deep breath before speaking. “…I can convince mom. And didn’t you say that candidates ‘similar’ to Sevennight bloodline can do? Convincing one to sleep with you wouldn’t be too difficult…” She had a bad premonition but still forged onward. “Mom would never agree, and even if she did I won’t. At the minimum, the candidates need to be a 777-year old High Elf at the least or someone with equal magical power. There is still the problem of ‘two hearts coming together’ and it will get exponentially harder with every woman added, if it is the same as I think. But that isn’t the worst thing.” 777 year old high elf. A existence who looked down upon all humans, convincing one to sleep with him… This was utterly impossible, no matter what benefits were provided in the transaction. And forcefully seizing one was a more impossible fantasy. “Well, what’s the worst it could be?” Even after acknowledging that the curse was impossible to break, she still had hope that increasing his lifespan a bit more would be possible. While an existence on the level of a 777 year old high elf would be impossible for the current her to get into contact with, as long as there was time, there would be hope. “If the curse is incompletely broken, I’ll still die and YOU and every other successful candidate will contract the curse. This is only a way to hell, an ailment where the cure is worse than the illness. Doing this is just… Even if you forget about the moral fallacies of incest, you do know the consequences of inbreeding, right? There is a chance that you would get pregnant, and the child would inherit disabilities, the curse of breaking the taboo. On top of that, if the child somehow inherits the Sevennight blood curse…” Emotionlessly spelling the truth, his words caused drops of tears to flower from her eyes. “You already knew this, right? Last night and today morning, you didn’t dare to force yourself on me, to fully commit yourself… because even you can’t ignore the consequences.” He immediately exposed the doubts in her heart. “Rainleigh nii-chan… does that mean that you don’t love me?” With a sweet voice came a curveball question from nowhere. She had already resolved that she would be unrelenting if he hesitated, but… “Of course I love you as a sister. Maybe I could learn to love you the way you want me to but… After all that I’ve said, you should understand why that isn’t possible.” His voice was warm and caring, just as always. “Yes… I understand onii-chan. I understand.” Tender tears wetted her eyes. It seemed that she had finally given up on it. He gently wiped away her tears with a napkin before stroking her atop her head. “There is no need to cry. Death is a fact of life and I still have three years left. Since your bloodline training is over, you must be very strong now. Why don’t you tell me some of your adventures?” At his proposal, she happily answered. Like that, the atmosphere returned to the lively banter between siblings… Or so it seemed to him. Having realized his indifferent determination and resignation to death, her determination to save him rose even more as schemes flashed through her head. Thinking of the figure of him from years back, the brother she relied on and the him of now who was resolved to wait for death… …She realized that there would be no regrets. Rainleigh Sevennight and Adelicia Sevennight, the two siblings were already fated to begin the taboo that should never be committed…
I didn't expect this story to be a fantasy one at all. But i have to say that it wasn't well managed as it directly went to talk about the details of the curse all out sudden. I think ou should first start to let know it is a fantasy world and that the Mc is curse, then in another chapter begin to go deeper in the details.
And this is why ero and plot development are hard to implement... Also, first comes to a first is that you need to give more explaination to your chars and settings before implementing some development. Its like giving a man a good fap material until you put some teaser before he came...
Yeah, but plot isn't as important in this story as 'plot'! The barest justification for the plot has been given and so the decisions our characters make won't seem inexplicable. So, onward with the R-rated stuff!
So you tried a fantasy route instead huh? I take it that you will NOT go further than imouto? Yeah, I agree with Rainleigh here, the whole hearts together shit is difficult to put unless you have charms, mind control magic/items, aphrodisiacs and couple of shits to pull it through.
I know the main thing is sex, but the plot shouldn't be throw at once with all their big details from nowhere, it made the reader feel he is sudenly reading another novel, even if the main is sex you can get space here and there to go explaining.
Wow....people are actually offering...plausible Advice?, I'm Shook. Anyway back to business story is good so far but I gotta agree with them it would've been better to be eased in on the Topic of fantasy, bur somehow it seemed sudden but at the same time I feel like I expected it.