Discussion Boney Milk (Official Ad)

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Probably not Eli, May 2, 2021.

  1. Shizukani

    Shizukani Chronically stressed

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    I'm guessing the other is actually bone puree :blobpeek:
     
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  2. CadmarLegend

    CadmarLegend one and a two and a bing bang boo!

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    No, LIquid Milk has ONE milk with the SAME BENEFITS as both Bony Milk and Fleshy Milk COMBINED! Isn't that amazing!? And it's only priced at a low $2!
     
  3. Probably not Eli

    Probably not Eli Baby | Eliott | Eli | Ellie

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    So you're going traitor and advertising cheap, ungodly, milk? Pathetic.
     
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  4. Napelynn

    Napelynn Tuna Angel

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    Specialized milks like boney milk and fleshy milk have a much stronger effect than all rounder milks like liquid milk. Drinking one cup of fleshy milk will give you the benefits of 2000 tons of liquid milk.
     
  5. Shizukani

    Shizukani Chronically stressed

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    *speechless* That's amazing :blobwoah:
     
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  6. Probably not Eli

    Probably not Eli Baby | Eliott | Eli | Ellie

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    Drinking Boney Milk will make your bones wiggle. You'll also get 1 FREE will to live.
     
  7. Napelynn

    Napelynn Tuna Angel

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    Right?! So spend $199,999 today and buy some fleshy and boney milk!
     
  8. CadmarLegend

    CadmarLegend one and a two and a bing bang boo!

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    No, no. Satan is the owner... he also seems like a nice guy, actually. Pretty chill and all about being condemned by everything and everyone around him.
    Ah, that's where you're wrong! Liquid Milk is actually fueled with LIFE, so the factories produce PURE DIVINITY which the Liquid Milk gets covered in and it gives off 10000000 Million TIMES the amount of any other milk in the industry!
     
  9. Shizukani

    Shizukani Chronically stressed

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    *interested in the freebie* :aww:

    What does wiggling bones feel like though :hmm:

    Wait, it's more expensive?! :blob_catflip: What happened to 2$??
     
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  10. Napelynn

    Napelynn Tuna Angel

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    That seems pretty expensive. There’s no way that would be sold for just $2. The people selling liquid milk are probably lying to you.

    Too expensive for you? Fine. I’ll make a special deal for you. I’ll sell both boney milk and fleshy milk at a stunningly low $199,998!
     
  11. CadmarLegend

    CadmarLegend one and a two and a bing bang boo!

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    Nope! Satan produces LIFE just by living. He's actually not that evil. Gentle as a butterfly! And the PURE DIVINITY is produced by our WILLS to LIVE that is automatically infused into the milk! And! The Workers get an average hourly pay of ∞ money in ANY currency! Each week, a new weekly special goes out and all of the milk is free of all charge!
     
  12. Napelynn

    Napelynn Tuna Angel

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    Why rely on divine beings like god or Satan? Rely on the powers of humans! Drink fleshy milk! Get the power of muscles!
     
  13. Probably not Eli

    Probably not Eli Baby | Eliott | Eli | Ellie

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    OBJECTION. Here at Boney MilkHQ, we make sure everyone around us in the neighborhood is safe and even bring them cookies with a will to live. We let them Live, Laugh, and Love!™ Your p a t h e t i c d i v i n t y is not winning me over.
     
  14. CadmarLegend

    CadmarLegend one and a two and a bing bang boo!

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    Ah, DIVINITY is perfectly a happy thing! It makes sure that no evil comes near any of the customers, and gives them warmth of love laughter and life! We sell Valentine's day DIVINITY which is PURE DIVINITY every year so that those who are alone during the day of love can feel warmth that love brings!
     
  15. Probably not Eli

    Probably not Eli Baby | Eliott | Eli | Ellie

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    Well, you listen here. We aren't having any of this, we're going to shut your company down. Every day, we earn BILLIONS, making sure everyone around the world is safe, making Michigan a better place to drive (ask @Ollielolli about that one), and help out our tired, old workers.
     
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  16. CadmarLegend

    CadmarLegend one and a two and a bing bang boo!

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    Our workers never get tired and they earn an infinite amount of money each day. We do not even need to be payed to make sure all of our customers are fine and happy. ALL of our customers are guaranteed happiness for life.
     
  17. Mr. Tired

    Mr. Tired Professional Idiot

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    What the fuck, Eli.
     
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  18. Probably not Eli

    Probably not Eli Baby | Eliott | Eli | Ellie

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    This is foolishness. I'm calling your Boss. I will have you fired.
     
  19. CadmarLegend

    CadmarLegend one and a two and a bing bang boo!

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    Yes, exactly.
     
  20. Probably not Eli

    Probably not Eli Baby | Eliott | Eli | Ellie

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    .
    ......Hey.....................