Synopsis: About a girl who is tired of the world, ended up finding a new one, and perhaps may find her simple wish of happy life. Or die trying. Genre: Tragedy, Fantasy, Action, Adventure, Romance, Mature (blood and gore) A/N A few words, this WN would highly focus on character growth (I'll do my best, anyway), so it might get slowly paced. Now, if you just want some lucky-ass kicking-full of face novel, this is not it.I bet you have more than enough in the series list anyway. No offence, I have my own list of OP MC i'd gladly give love letter to. But! I just want to say that this WN will be a try-hard deep novel and I would appreciate critics! Table of Contents Prologue Chapter 1 - Bred By War Prologue Aris is a normal young girl, on the outside that is. She is short, have dimpled cheeks, her hair is wavy and fluffy down to her shoulder blades. In a sense, she is definitely attractive, and people around her subconsciously become kind towards her. Aris understands this and acts accordingly, cute, witty, and altruistic, like perfection. However, on the other side of the coin, when she is alone in the house, she would often look in the kitchen, at the knife in the counter top. Perhaps, if she cut herself and die, she will finally be free? She will not have to keep pretending to be happy, keep trying to meet people's expectation, not being burdened by anything else... She took the knife and headed upstairs, towards the bathroom. She opened the shower, drenching herself in cold water, and observed the knife in her hands. Aris did not feel the freezing water in her skin, but still, she felt unbelievable chill spreading in her chest. Fear is taking hold, along with fascination, curiosity... And fury. She hates herself for being weak. Afraid of deviating from the norm, and now afraid of taking her own life. She is born a coward, and absolutely resents this side of hers.She is pretty? Cute? Well-mannered? What does it matter when she hates herself to the root? Gritting her teeth, she closes her eyes and focuses her senses to her fingertips tracing the edge of the knife. Where to cut? Her wrist? That will take too long... Her neck, then. She decides. Her neck, it is. With wobbling hand, she pointed the knife to her throat. And heaved. ---- When she opened her eyes again, Aris' first thought focused on the white ceiling and the hanging bulb of light illuminating her room. Beeps of machines also played in the background, accompanying her mother's silent sobs at her bedside... She failed. She survived. And now she had to live with this attempt as a scar for the rest of her existence. Just thinking about the stares of caution, pity, and sadness she would receive from now on fills her being with heartbreak. 'Why didn't I just die...?' She screamed silently, swallowing chokes with tears, pain, and blood. -----------------------End (for now)-------------------------------
Hello there! Today I've listened to this clip , go there and read the uploader comment, it's under the video. I think that it'll help you in writing your story.
There are singers that aborded that subject. Some of them in a serious manner, some as a 'joke'. Ah, @Satan , why isn't there a dislike button? I dislike that video.
Chapter 1 - Bred by War - "Your daughter is stable for the time being. She will be in pain due to... the wound, but, right now, the most important issue is her mental health. I recommend sending her to a rehab for recovery after discharge." "!!!" A man in dishevelled suit looked aghast. "Our daughter is not crazy!" "Yes. Yes. We understand, but I hope you should also try to understand. Your daughter attempted suicide–" "No! Maybe- maybe- Right, a thief! Someone broke in our house to steal things and- and-" "Mister Shawl, with all due respect-" "Shut your mouth!" "Please calm down-" "You–are you saying that we are lacking?! We gave everything to our daughter. EVERYTHING. Why would she- she-" Aris stopped listening and pretended to be deaf. She calmed her fast beating heart and looked out the window instead. It was gloomy. The time was just past noon, but no trace of sun rays penetrated the dense clouds that cried snow flakes onto the city. It was only autumn but it was cold, though, the temperature soothed her burning throat. Aris later found out from the nurse that the knife did penetrate her throat. Unfortunately, with some stroke of luck, she missed her windpipe as well as major arteries. How ridiculous was that? Aris felt indignation. When she chose death, who cared about miraculous survival? On top of that, her mother just happened to go back home because she forgot her purse but found her bleeding daughter at perfect timing instead, not giving Aris the chance to bleed to death. Series of coincidences? Aris felt like punching God. - On the fifth day of hospitalization, Aris was finally discharged. Her father had adamantly refused to let her be transferred into a mental health unit, and being underaged, Aris had no say on the matter. Going home, Aris felt like her throat was being clogged and she could not breath. Memories, guilt, responsibility, pain. No longer than a moment, she experienced a panic attack and had to be sent back to emergency. By this time, her father could only look at her disprovingly as he agreed to let Aris be transferred to a psych unit. Her mother, however, cried gratingly on her bedside. Again. "Darling... please just tell me, why?" Guilt flickered in Aris' eyes. She knew full well, her mother has no fault at the matter. She took a deep breath and opened her phone, typing the words she could not say with her still burning throat. -I'm sorry for hurting you. "Oh, Aris. Did we lack on anything? First your brother, now you. How am I supposed to live like this? Please tell me, what did we do? What did we not do? I already quit my job, so I could watch you, your brother, and Jeremy–" -It's not that... "Then what? Aris, I thought we were okay. I thought you were happy. I thought everything was fine again. We love you very much. We love you all very much. How could this happen to two of my children...?" She sobbed and grit her teeth to prevent more tears from spilling. "Why- why did you want to die...?" -I don't -I just Aris paused for a moment, trying to find the words describing the emptiness she felt. If that even exist. Her hand hovered over her glowing phone before gently tapping the words out. -I don't want to die, I just want to disappear -I'm tired After that, Aris put her phone away and closed her eyes. She knew she was not being fair to her mother. She owed so many things to her parents. She had been happy with them. She also have responsibility, responsibility to Jeremy, her younger brother who was only five. She could not imagine how the little guy would grow up with two suicidal older siblings. Again, Aris felt strong hatred towards herself. 'Why didn't I just die so I don't have to feel all these?' - With an ambulance, Aris was transported to the outskirts of the town where the hospital was. She got assigned to a closed-unit, where her freedom was severly limited. Single room, no phones, and nothing that could potentially be used as suiciding material, this basically enumerated everything... Stuck together with fellow underaged teens with mental issues, Aris could not help but dread her bleak future. 'What now?' She sat on a sofa on the lounge for a many hours, days maybe? Her sense of time was dwindling. There was absolutely nothing to do in the unit, except perhaps chatting with fellow mentally unstables or watching TV about self-retrospection. The former drives her insane, while the latter bores her to death, neither were too appealing at the moment. "Hey..." A boy, about thirteen years in age suddenly talked to her. Automatically, Aris smiled and greeted back. "Hello." "Um, what do you guys usually do here?" He asked. The boy was less than a day old on the unit, Aris recognized, and yet, he did not look like someone who has just been diagnosed as mentally ill or unstable. A smile constantly plastered his face and Aris thought it looked genuine on him, which was utterly, incredibly strange. Unless, of course, that was part of his mental problem. "Nothing." Aris answered as she looked at the window. "We are not really allowed to do anything." "Uh, anything at all?" "Well, if you consider sitting the whole day as something, then that's one." She couldn't help but reply sarcastically. "Oh? That's it? Boring." The boy was too naive to even recognize the slight venom in her voice. Aris was reminded of her little brother, Jeremy. That little guy was also so naive, so silly that it always made her smile. Shaking her head, she held out a hand and introduced herself, "Aris." "Uh, Bob..." "Bob? Nice to meet you." "You're not gonna laugh?" "Why would I?" "Because my name's funny as hell?" Aris smiled again, more genuine this time. "Well, if you want me to..." "Nah, nevermind." "…" "…" Silence dawned on them as awkwardness was born. "This is boring..." "Yep." "Because of you~! I never strayed too far from the side wal~~k" While both were struggling to find words to say, a voice echoed out of a room and interrupted the silence. It filled the hall and the lounge area. Aris frowned, agitation flashing in her eyes. "What is that?" Bob asked, surprised. "One of the patients. She likes singing... too much." "At least her voice is not so bad." "...But after hearing her days and nights, you'd probably get headaches on the first note there after." The two stayed at each other's side for throughout the day, finding comfort on talking to someone who was not insane nor too reclusive to bother replying. They became fast friends, but neither even tried broaching the most glaring subject, why were they there. - It had been a month, Aris was almost out of the unit. Three times a week, her mother visited her, bringing home-cooked food and her favorite gum. She shared everything with Bob, who gladly accepted. No one had visited him in three weeks, making Aris pity him. Of course, she didn't dare show it on her face or action, that would be too cruel, especially from someone who have such supportive family. After two more weeks, the two were finally out of the prison-like unit and transferred into a less restrictive unit where phones many activities could be chosen and attend to. They would had been transferred much earlier if only they took their medications. Both of them adamantly refused all pills, reasoning that it made them feel weird. After a couple of weeks though, Aris was finally convinced to take them, all for the sake of getting out of that unit. Bob did the same, following her actions like a good little brother. Another month passed, and Aris was finally, truly, being discharged from the hospital. She felt slightly happy. Maybe, life was not so bad? Bob, however, chose to remain in the hospital. He did not want to go home, at all. In their last conversation before her discharge, Aris finally dared to ask the most painful question. "Why- No, how did you ended up here?" Her eyes resolutely met his stare, neither domineering nor sympathetic. She wanted to convey that she understood. No pity or other 'I understand' bullshit, just plain, 'say whatever you want, I won't judge' because, really, their relationship were like of companions who had experienced war. Bob hesitated slightly before tightly closing his eyes and exhaling, "I… tried to kill my family."