Corrupt a Wish

Granted, but he cooks you.
I wish I could read chinese!

 

granted but you can only speak and write in gibberish

I wish I could compress air and shoot it as projectile

 

granted, but the process can only be done inside you body. so be careful not to hurt yourself

i wish to see a event horizon

 

granted but you'll lose everything that you treasure when you do

I wish for a fifth season

 

Granted, it will be scorching hot, every year half of the population burn to ashes

I wish for an unlimited supply of sunflower seeds

 

granted but you'll have to cross the pacific to get it, one seed at a time

I wish for a more tactical mindset

 

Granted, but everyone will also have it

I wish a well-tuned piano

 

Granted but you wont be able to hear when playing it

I Wish i could run fast

 

Granted, but you can't stop

I wish I could stop procrastinating

 

Granted, you're now a slave working 24/7

I wish I had a day off

 

Granted, but you'll never have a day off after that

I wish for a cup of hot chocolate

 

Granted but it's too bitter for consumption

I wish I could travel without a hassle

 

grant but your destination is the after life
i wish i could skip school

 

Granted but you become a hobo right after

I wish I could be a chess master

 

Granted but you're stuck in the toilet with no time to play chess
i wish i go to heaven

 

Granted but you get nothing to do but be bored for all eternity

I wish I could get things for free

 

Granted. It's spoiled egg.

I wish for a cat.

 

Granted but it hates you, a lot

I wish for a big fluffy pillow

 

Granted. It's infested with cockroach.

I wish for a loving cat.

 

Granted, you wont be able to sleep cuz of allergy to the pillow~
I wish for a nice weather today~