Corrupt a Wish

Granted. But the diseases spawned by the aftermath of the world disaster is more infectious and deadly than what your sword and shield era can cure. Now they're all slowly dying.

I wish for a ball of stardust. One that can fit in my hands if i cup it.

 

Granted. It’s a pig’s balls.

I wish that I wasn’t made from stardust.

 

Granted. You're now made of the foulest things mankind has ever seen.

I wish I was better in math.

 

Shit.

Granted. You can now do differential equations in your head but forgot how to do basic arithmetic and algebra somehow.

I wish dogs ceased to exist.

 

granted, people create robot dogs to replace them

I wish the blind could see

 

Granted, the blind can see but they will see people as potatoes.

I wish i could fly

 

Granted you can now fly up. Only up though since you can't fly down. Or any other direction except up actually. And you can't turn off your ability to fly.

I wish for light.

 

Granted. It’s too bright that you go blind, though.

I wish for help.

 

Spiderman comes to save you. Unfortunately, now you're never getting help ever again from anyone.

I wish for a hotdog.

 

granted but it is so spicy it kills your tastbuds for life.

i wish i could fastforward 7 months

 

Granted. A sexy dog comes to you begging for you to eat it.

I wish for motivation.

 

Granted, but now you'll feel embarrassment whenever you think of the 7 months you fast forwarded.

Granted, but your motivation is to DO 100 PUSHUPS, 100 SITSUPS, AND RUN 10 KM A DAY.

I wish for spaghetti.

 

Granted. Here's a spaghetti strap.

I wish for raining cats and dogs.

 

Granted, the world is dyed red in blood and flesh

I wish for a talking icecream

 

Granted, you get your talking ice cream. You still get to hear it talk even after you eat it though.

I wish for faster internet speed.

 

Granted, but you can only browse cat related things

I wish for a friend

 

Granted but that friend only grunts or speaks in one-word sentences.

I wish for a buddy.

 

granted, but they would never leave your side and make records on everything you do

I wish for more pandas in the world

 

Granted but they’re sickly pandas so even though you got more pandas they all quickly died off.

I wish for the sun to hit the moon.

 

granted, but you wouldn't be able to see it due the heat from the sun vaporizing you first.

I wish for the ability to regenerate