Corrupt a Wish

Granted, electricity now runs amok, free from its oppressors– thunderclouds and science.

I wish for well-placed banana peels to plague the humans that believe they are of a "superior" race.

 

Granted but they get eaten by those humans instead.

I wish I was immune to the cold.

 

Granted, you can't be cold anymore if you're already frozen solid aye?

I wish to be a pirate but not in the Caribbean

 

Granted, you’re considered a pirate to the majority of the music industry.

I wish I had a proper eating schedule.

 

granted, once every midnight, you get to eat bitter gourd and eggs

I wish for great luck

 

Granted, you were granted the greatest bad luck of all.

I wish I could defy gravity.

 

Granted, as the world moves arround the sun you are left behind forever floating.

I wish elon musk becomes a cat boy.

 

Granted, he is then hunted down and killed by the anti-furry organizations which make up 50 percent of the world.

I wish for a donut.

 

Granted but it's the size of 10-wheeler's tire

I wish for a miracle

 

Granted. Somewhere in the seemingly infinite ocean a fishes life was saved, thanks to you.

I wish that both genders had penises

 

Granted, extinction comes next

I wish for a dozen oranges.

 

Granted, they get hurled at you at 150 km/h.

I wish for more food to feed the dogs.

 

granted but every time you feed the dogs they increase their numbers by twice, and you have to pay for the extra food now

I wish for a comet to be named after me

 

Granted, you get the comet that's going to hit earth and kill most of us named after you.

I wish for a bowl of fresh grapes.

 

granted, they're fresh and full or worms

I wish for a jar full of coins

 

Granted, here's a jar full of cardboard-cut coins.

I wish for a slice of watermelon.

 

Granted, but its covered in mold
I wish for time traveling powers

 

Granted, but your body can't handle the side effects, thus it's starting to rot.

I wish for a high quality wagyu beef Dx

 

Granted. You get a slice of raw high-quality wagyu beef that is definitely NOT human flesh disguised to look like high quality wagyu beef.

I wish for a bottle of chill pills.

 

Granted, they're so chill that they're frozen solid

I wish for a swarm of locusts