2nd hand story from my brothers D&D campaign. Absolutely had to share it. So my brothers play at a game table at our friendly local game store with a bunch of strangers(I might join them....but they have all the support roles filled, which is my favorite role to play so maybe not...). My brothers and his merry hand of adventurers are roaming around an island when they run into an evil priest who wants to take over the island. Fight time! The priest did have 2 mercenaries to help him, however they were not going help because the party managed to convince them not too. Turns out the priest had only payed them 50 gold to help him takeover the island(Think, island the size of Japan). So the mercenaries were convinced to stay out of the fight. Evil Priest goes first and misses all of his attacks... The fight goes downhill from there... Bard(My Brother): Casts Vicious Mockery. HA! YOU MISSED LOSER! Cleric: Casts Vicous Mockery. THIS IS WHY YOUR WIFE LEFT YOU AND TOOK THE KIDS! Cleric: Casts Prestidigitation. Uses it to draw dicks on Evil Priests forehead. Mercenaries and the whole party start laughing. Evil Priest breaks down crying and the fight is over... Mfw, the party is so bad they make the BBEG look nice.
... Well these are interesting stories, if only I had some alcohol to be even merrier... That reminds me of a story, of when ole Bronzebeard the third went drinking at a tavern, whilst this woman, who looked completely like a male dwarf with lumps on their chest, was drinking, a bard started singing a song of a recent adventure she was apart of. During one point of the song, when he mentioned a "Male Dwarf with teats the size of a half-orc", Bronzebeard got very angry at the bard. And the bard, who didn't know of what he had just done, was hit with a mug of ale that Bronzebeard just threw and knocked the bard out in one fell swish, but before anyone made a peep, the mug of ale miraculously went back to the hand of Bronzebeard with no a drop of ale spilled. The entire tavern became very merry, and in the end, Brozebeard was known as Bronzebeard, the man who can do the mystic drunken martial arts... The woman crited 4 times in that whole scenario, one to knock out the bard, one to get the mug (cause she's drunk), one for seeing how much ale spilled out, and one to spread her name which also was a test to see how long she can last drinking for the night, in the end, she was the only one standing, and it was morning by the time the party ended