Well... The one shot is too small and basically nothing happens... There is just some exposition, a magical circle and then a disappearance and... That's it. We don't know what caused it, what were the repercussions of it, nor what happened to the people that were taken by the circle. ... There is honestly nothing worth praise in it. Try improving next time~
Fair. One question, is this part grammatcally correct? 'proceeded to doze off waiting for the hours to blend with themselves.' The doze off feels weird and I don't know if it is written as daze off in the present form.
Nope. It sounds weird but doze off is correct in this context. Daze off wouldn't make any sense. I don't think I've read any of your references. I'm only judging based on what you wrote. Intriguing. The sentences are a bit long, but that might a matter of taste. Your language is pretty good and I liked the general flow of your story. It left me curious about what happens next. Obviously it's a good thing. - caused his mood to sullen. Needs rewrite: caused his mood to sour / left him in a sullen mood / darkened his mood, etc. I didn't go through editing and arranging since you haven't asked for it. If you're interested, drop a comment. I'm not the be all and end all obviously. Just willing to give a few tips as a working writer if you need it.