Discussion Dark humor jokes

What’s some of the best dark humor jokes you heard of

 

Off the top of my head I can only think of one video made by some guy on YouTube shorts.

"Here's a few jobs I tried that didn't work out."
"Number one, weapons tester."
*dude proceeds to raise his left arm into the air*
"It blew my hand off!"

 

"Stop clubbing, baby seals!"

 

Interesting. I didn’t think I would like dark humor jokes, but the weapon tester was humorous

 

"How many cops would it take to change a lightbulb."

"None, they'd beat the room cause it's black."

- Amazing Atheist, YouTuber

Or

"Is it because they dress better than you?"

Well, they didn't spend all that time in the closet for nothing.

-Maxi the tabaxi, a commenter on a YouTube video about gays.

There are better ones, but I can only think of those right now.

 

I know a lot of Dark humor jokes, but none of them are appropriate for the forum.

 

Spoiler: paraphrased pedo joke

Pedophiles can never win a race cause they always come in a little behind.

Spoiler: Racist joke. Linking a vid. Can't match the charm of Norm plus super Dave's reaction is hilarious

 

The classic: Mommy, I don't like grandma... Phillip, you finish your plate or no dessert for you!

 

I think mine are from the manga ver of Black Lagoon & Drifters:
- literal under the table meeting of the Black Lagoon crews during Roberta's bar rampage of her 1st appearance, Dutch comment of him not willing to stay & watch the fight like a certain cowboy of spaghetti western
- Fabiola's bar fight, the moment she pulled out her China Lake grenade launcher
- Revy & Rip Off Church members vs Columbian Cartel church shoot out
- Drifters, Oda Nobunaga tried to impress the local feudal lords by pulling his "Demon King of 6th Heaven" act, only to be unsurped by Toyohisa himself