Discussion Dear people pleasers

• What's your tried and tested way of pleasing almost everyone?
• Is there a people pleasing methodology?
• What are the pros and cons of people pleasing?

 

Talk to them individually instead of as a group. Don't make promises you can anticipate breaking.

If to a group, get the crowd going so they forget themselves

Sounds like a lot of useless/pointless work though

 

It is indeed a lot of wasted effort but some people are just wired to try and please others. It's hard to change that habit but not totally impossible

 

Avoid heavy topics. That's one of the things. If you want to please an individual, use formal-but-almost-informal talk. Never curse. Never let your tone of voice waver. Don't raise your voice at any point in time. Keep an expression befitting the situation, but never an angry one. If you are pleasing them after some minor fit, just give them a little gift or a hug or even just a smile to show that you care. If it's something serious, go find something that is befitting the situation.

The pros of people-pleasing are:

You can get out of a sticky situation if necessary
You can help someone get calmer than they might have been
You might look like a go-to person for advice
You might become friends with the person
You can appear like a gentleman or a gentlewoman to the public.

Cons of people-pleasing are:

A fail can have humongous impacts.
It might make you look like a schemer.
You might be regarded as someone who will do almost anything to get a benefit.
People will start to rely on you, and that can end up horrendously if you aren't prepared.

And other such things.

 

Smile tons! Smile forever! Smile like you've never frowned in your life!

 

Just try to be overall positive and try to avoid saying stuff that could possibly trouble others or cause confrontations I guess. This alone already makes most conversations move pretty smoothly.

It gets harder to do this long-term with acquaintances you see often, and can actually be detrimental if you're actually growing closer with someone, since this kind of behavior often involves avoiding saying your opinion on things, but... Well, if you're used to behaving like that, it becomes very easy to talk to strangers about pretty much anything, which can be quite useful at times.

I kinda naturally am positive and naturally avoid bothering people and actively avoid confrontations because I just hate them in general, so it's not really a bother for me to behave like that, but... If you behave like that for extended periods of time in an uncomfortable environment, don't be surprised if one day you just break down crying out of stress... >.>

 

Don't punch them in the face!

 

Whyyyyyyyyyy?! I really want to punch some people in the face sometimes, especially when they try to make a point to oppose what I stated, fail, and still say that they will not agree to the point I'm making.

 

How does that break away from what I said??

 

Damn, this is hard.
I never tried pleasing people and I won't even try.

 

Be kind. (Or try to be.)
Pros:
People are nice to you.
Cons:
Some people will treat you as a doormat. Do not allow this.

I’m not sure I’d label myself as a people pleaser, but I do try to get along with people, generally. I’m more going off what I’ve observed of more successful people pleasers.

 

You please people because you want something in return

 

Never give your opinion on controversial subjects unless you have a really good idea of others opinions. Always say it's no problem even if you are inconvenienced. Offer the last slice of pizza. Pros are people will generally have a decent if not really nice opinion of you, cons it makes it really hard to make any truly deep connections leaving you feeling adrift, and prone to depression/anxiety worrying about your behavior.

 

Oral.

 

I am not a people pleaser, I just say what I want although I try not to be rude, anyway, this thread is not for me XD

 

If i want to please someone who i don't know and probably won't talk with much or at all?

It's simple, keep the conversation going, agree with most of what the person says but show some minor difference in opinions which are still similar enough that he/her can relate to
If conversation reach a topic you simply can't bear, change topic.

Try to match their language use, use formal language with people who speak formally, use informal with people who talk informally.

Mention interesting stories which they might relate to, or change interesting stories you know to match the current topic

Don't tell lies you can't remember later.

Try to match the conversation tone with the person mood, like if he/her is angry then get angry at what made the person angry, if he/her is happy talk in a happier way

Try to make the conversation light and fluid, let it flow naturally, if you can't do it, just remember to either end your replies with a question or an interesting comment which may cause the person to say something

The apparency of a person almost always let out something they like, you can use it as topic too, like how you like the brand or model of their shoes, or that you like the style of music they listen and so on


TLL basically just give rope to the person, they will almost always making themselves be pleased with you, if you just go with the flow

 

Be cool like me! And make the water dance! ( ^ω^ )

 

I am not a people pleaser kinda person but I usually just tend to stay quiet in any events and avoid any confrontational situation

coz I know when I said something, those people will be pissed off

 

Fan service....works all the time

 

Laugh at their jokes even though it's not.