Spoiler Does Santa exist?

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by fluffymigs, Nov 17, 2015.

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  1. fluffymigs

    fluffymigs Balthazzar's Husband/Owner

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    So since Xmas is near, i decided to translate a story which my brothe told me when i was 6 years old:
    Have fun. =)

    Does Santa exist?

    1.
    No known species of reindeer can fly .But there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified , and although these are mostly insects and germs , this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer , which so far only have been seen by Santa .

    2.
    There are 2 billion children (people under 18 ) in the world , but since Santa ( appears) to not handle any Muslim, Hindu , Jewish and Buddhist children , that reduces the workload to about 15 % of the total 378 million children (according to Population Reference Bureau ) .
    At an average rate of 3.5 children per household which gives 91,8 million homes . We assume that in every house lives at least one good child .

    3.
    Santa has a 31-hour-Christmasday , thanks to the different time zones , assuming he travels east to west ( which seems logical ) .
    This results in 822,6 visits per second .Thus, Santa has 1/1000 of seconds for his work for each Christian household with good children :
    -Parking
    -jumping out of the sleigh
    -climbing down the chimney
    -fill the stockings
    -distribute the remaining presents under the tree
    -eat all the leftover remnants of the Christmas dinner
    -get back up the chimney again and fly to the next house
    Assuming that each of these 91,8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth ( which, of course , is false , but as a basis of the calculation we will accept it) , we've got a distance of 1.3 km per household ,and a total distance of 120 8 million km, not counting stops to do what each of us must do at least once in 31 hour, plus eating and stuff.
    This means that the sleigh of Santa Claus flies with 1040 km per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound . For comparison, the fastest manmade vehicle on earth , the "New Horizon space probe" , moves at a laughable 16 km per second . A conventional reindeer could only run at 24 kilometers an hour .
    4.
    The cargo of the sleigh adds another interesting element . Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized Lego set ( about 1 kg) , the sleigh has loaded a weight of 378,000 tons , not counting Santa , who is invariably described as overweight .
    A conventional reindeer can pull no more than 175 kg. Even granting that "flying reindeer " (see point # 1) could pull ten times the normal weight , you would not need eight or even nine reindeer for the sleigh . We would need 216,000 reindeer . This increases the weight - not even counting the sleigh itself - to 410 400 tons .For comparison : that's more than four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth .

    5.
    410 400 tonnes at a speed of 1040 km / second creates enormous air resistance - thus the reindeer will be heated , just like a spaceship which re-enters the Earth's atmosphere .
    The foremost pair of reindeer will absorb 16,6 trillion joules of energy . Each . In other words, they combust instantaneously in flames , exposing the next pair reindeers to the air resistance , and it will create deafening sonic booms .

    The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 5 thousandths of a second .

    Santa , meanwhile, is exposed to an acceleration of the size of 17,500times earth's gravity . A 120 kg heavy Santa Claus (which according to the description must be a ridiculous understatement ) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh - with a force of 20,6 million Newton .

    This brings us to the conclusion that if Santa ever DID deliver presents , he is now dead .
     
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  2. Ldyrdy

    Ldyrdy Snowfallsdown

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    Do you know? @Santa actually lives near my house... he has a big secret.. he has mastered the profound trouth of time so he is able to stop time.. however since @God Of Time take hold of this power too, they compromized that santa is only able to use his power at the 25th night of the 12th month every year
     
  3. God Of Time

    God Of Time Nyanko's Loyal Minister.

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    Santa is a cool bro. He owes me a present though...
     
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  4. canaria23

    canaria23 『  』

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  5. NekoMK2

    NekoMK2 Lazy cat, [self proclaimed GM_Rusaku Disciples]

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    nyahahahahah
    *ROFL
     
  6. Linley

    Linley 【Linlin】【The Love Doctor】【NUF Nicknamer】

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    You forgot the most important factor.... MAGIC!
     
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  7. FlowingSong

    FlowingSong Otome Isekai Reader and Trash ML Hater

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    waht? of cuores satan extsis! FS jsut snet mhi my rqeuets fro prseents!
     
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  8. fluffymigs

    fluffymigs Balthazzar's Husband/Owner

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    @Satan mindcontrolled u to say that,didn't he? Didn't do a good job....
     
  9. FlowingSong

    FlowingSong Otome Isekai Reader and Trash ML Hater

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    NOOOOO SF WUODL NVEER GTE MNIDCNOTORLLDE!
     
  10. fluffymigs

    fluffymigs Balthazzar's Husband/Owner

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    @FlowingSong You need a break

     
  11. Ldyrdy

    Ldyrdy Snowfallsdown

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    nee-chan it's getting late... you should go to sleep...
     
  12. Mrgameandwatch77

    Mrgameandwatch77 Chrit, the God of Squirrels, Moe, and Cookies

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    You should read What If by xkcd. They have tons of problems just like this.
    ? What are you talking about? The sun is up here.
     
  13. Ldyrdy

    Ldyrdy Snowfallsdown

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    where we live, it's almost 1 am.. ^^
    *i hope this sentence won't get mistranslated*
     
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  14. Aicila

    Aicila Huh?

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  15. Mrgameandwatch77

    Mrgameandwatch77 Chrit, the God of Squirrels, Moe, and Cookies

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    Mistranslated? How? You live with @FlowingSong and @Lachiel right?
     
  16. Mrgameandwatch77

    Mrgameandwatch77 Chrit, the God of Squirrels, Moe, and Cookies

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    I guess that would change the calculations quite a bit. You can just ignore the poor people in the world and the children who don't believe in Santa.
     
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  17. Ldyrdy

    Ldyrdy Snowfallsdown

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    See..people said when two love birds are together, the third existence will be the devil.. I don't want to be mistaken as the third..
    *someone from the same country as me will get this saying*
     
  18. Mrgameandwatch77

    Mrgameandwatch77 Chrit, the God of Squirrels, Moe, and Cookies

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    Lol. I searched that on google, and I got results directing me to @Satan.
    Also, your signature is far to long. No way I'm reading that, but its very cool.
     
  19. Ldyrdy

    Ldyrdy Snowfallsdown

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    No you should read my signature.. Well your google are half right..
     
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  20. Mrgameandwatch77

    Mrgameandwatch77 Chrit, the God of Squirrels, Moe, and Cookies

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    *Cries*. I'm so sorry!

    Here .*Gives cookie* It's all I have.
     
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