Spoiler Even Until Death, the Scum Gong Thought I Was a White Lotus

Discussion in 'Spoilers' started by Shimozuki Yue, Mar 26, 2020.

  1. Shimozuki Yue

    Shimozuki Yue Well-Known Member

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    Even Until Death, the Scum Gong Thought I Was a White Lotus

    SUMMARY:
    Xie Mu’s task was to make scum gongs fall in love with him.

    He skillfully disguised himself as a white lotus, delicate and pitiful, kind and naïve.

    Even if he became an existence thrown away by the slag gong like a cheap pair of shoes, it didn’t matter, because Xie Mu would quickly make him kneel and apologize, even willing to dig out his heart and present it on a silver platter.

    —— and once the slag gongs fell in love, he would, step by step, lead them into hell:

    [I didn’t abandon you, it’s you who abandoned the amnesiac me] [I didn’t cuck you on purpose, I was being forced ah] [Even though I used you as a substitute, but it wasn’t on purpose] What could be crueler than abandoning someone only to want them back and find out that they’ve become forever out of reach?

    -----
    Newly translated series by Chrysanthemum Garden

    NU link >>> https://www.novelupdates.com/series/even-until-death-the-scum-gong-thought-i-was-a-white-lotus/

    MTL link
    >>> https://www.mtlnovel.com/even-until-death-the-scum-gong-thought-i-was-a-white-lotus/

    ----

    Looking for spoilers! Is this 1v1? I finished the first arc and there's no ML yet. MC seems to hit not just the target but his love triangles as well. MC is really ruthless, you'll feel sorry for the scum gongs.

    Also, the narration felt more involved than the usual QT as the author sometimes write it as if it was the original host's POV and emotions. Most of the time it felt like there's no transmigration and it was still the OH except at times that MC is talking with the system.
     
  2. Attica

    Attica Well-Known Member

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    I finished binging this today! Overall it was extremely dog-blooded and very angsty, with each arc ending in a suicide from despair. Still definitely a tearjerker at times even if you can tell the drama is amped up.

    All of the arcs are modern setting, and all of them have horribly scummy gongs who only come to their senses when all the damage has been wayyy past done. They indeed often have love triangle or even love rectangle situations—this is what heightens the drama to sometimes dark comedy levels. There are quite a few confrontations consisting of scum gong #1 revealing the horrible things that scum gong #2 did to MC behind his back, only for scum gong #2 to fire back with a laundry list of scummy behavior by scum gong #1, etc.

    Each arc is basically akin to watching a train wreck in slow motion, so bring your popcorn and lots of tissues to dry your tears.

    General arc summaries:
    1) MC was main ML’s lover until ML got bored and gave him over to be assaulted by ML#2. Then ML#1 was like “lol I don’t want u anymore since you’re dirty”... even though he was the one who handed him over?? Then MC loses his memory and ML#2 jumps at the opportunity to pretend to have been MC’s boyfriend all along. ML#1 starts to miss MC’s presence and tries to get him back... yeah you can see the bloodbath here.

    2) MC was adopted into this underworld family and looked up to his adoptive big brother. When this big brother died, the brother asked him to take care of the family so he took control temporarily and became crippled/wheelchair-bound in the process. When the arc starts, he handed the reins over to the main ML (who is technically his nephew) when the ML came of age and showed ambition. MC planned to retire in peace but ML became obsessed with this calm and pure uncle, insisting that MC stay by his side... yadda yadda “curing MC’s paralysis to give him hope, then crippling him again so he can’t run”...
    This arc had another 2 corners of a love rectangle: 1) MC’s loyal servant for all these years + 2) ML#1’s father!! (who was MC’s adoptive big brother and father figure before he faked his death).

    3) Standard substitute play: MC is the substitute to ML’s white moonlight, so when the white moonlight returns, ML#1 sacrifices him to appease the heartless playboy ML#2. And later the white moonlight falls in love with MC too lmao.

    4) The last one is pretty fucked up... ML thought himself to be the illegitimate lab-grown son of MC’s father, so he plotted revenge on MC’s family. This scheme included becoming MC’s husband since ML thought MC had such a spoiled and happy childhood because MC was a “natural born” child. ML held no love for MC of course, even though ML and MC had a lab grown baby together. ML plotted to ruin MC’s family and abort their child. Of course he finds himself falling for MC but interprets that as a signal to keep MC as a pet including locking him in a dark trunk.
    Meanwhile ML#2, MC’s psycho childhood friend, went ahead and killed MC’s family intending to frame ML#1 for the deed. Then MC and ML’s child dies right before it would have been born. ML#2 drops the bomb that ML#1 is MC’s half-brother, so MC understandable freaks out. Then they get a blood test done that shows ML#1’s mother lied and he isn’t actually MC’s half-brother, so literally all the scheming ML#1 did was absolutely pointless. Yeah MC understandably goes insane.


    Epilogue: It’s a pretty short and shallow epilogue, but it’s revealed that MC is actually going through these worlds in order to heal the brain of ML in the real world. (ML was injured protecting MC from a crazy ex-boyfriend.) The cute and clueless system that helps MC is actually part of ML’s consciousness.
     
    Last edited: Mar 30, 2020
  3. mmem

    mmem Well-Known Member

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    So is the real ML just tacked on? Like why would MC going through these dog blood plots help him? Feels like the R!ML is being punished instead lol.
     
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  4. WagKalimutan

    WagKalimutan Mpreg Lover, Married To Yaoi

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    The summary Is kinda dull so I skip reading this novel a lot of times until I got really curious. This Dog blood drama is really addictive. Lol. Hahaha I love the blackbelly MC, thumbs up to the author! I love how mess up and how crazy the plot! :blobjoy::blobjoy:
     
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  5. Shimozuki Yue

    Shimozuki Yue Well-Known Member

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    What?! Like O.0 wut?

    I mean, so are they lovers? Or he's just paying ML back for saving him? Cuz if all the Gongs were the real ML then heck I'm sure he is not in love!

    And it's like an open ending.

    Though actually, I don't mind if there's ML or none. The abuse is just gold, that's it is enough.
     
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  6. Attica

    Attica Well-Known Member

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    Uh I kind of skimmed the epilogue, but as far as I remember... MC in the real world is a cold “playboy” who dates around but never really gave his heart to anyone. I think ML came the closest, but still it was ML sacrificing himself in this incident to protect MC which moves MC’s heart enough that MC is willing to go through all this to save him. When they return to the real world, MC is willing to accept ML for good.

    Also I was a little confused myself, but I don’t think the scum gongs in the various worlds are ML? However, it’s mentioned that the system AKA real world ML would take over their bodies whenever it came to a sex scene with MC lmao.
     
  7. Lunnear

    Lunnear BL Readers and Writers- [My Muse is Yaoi~!]

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    Spoiler please for each arc.
     
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  8. lizabernal96

    lizabernal96 Bella

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    spoilers, please.....:aww:
    hope the spoilers are more specific.
     
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  9. Mushroom

    Mushroom Well-Known Member

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    The whole novel is pretty easy to MTL tho, but the name of the scum gong on the last arc was quite confusing
     
  10. Mushroom

    Mushroom Well-Known Member

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    ARC 1:
    Xie Mu is the lover and secretary of Bo Qin (ML #1). Xie Mu received a call from Bo Qin and hurriedly went to the bar. Bo Qin pushed Xie Mu to Tan Tao (ML #2). Tan Tao sexually assaulted Xie Mu in front of Bo Qin who did nothing but watch. Xie Mu was crying out Bo Qin's name and asking for help. After the whole scene, the first thing Xie Mu did after waking up is to find Bo Qin. But it seems like Bo Qin does not want him back. Bo Qin likes cleanliness. He does not like something that was touched by others. He's disgusted with Xie Mu. Bo Qin told him to pack his things and go. Xie Mu thought, how Bo Qin loves cleanliness but it was also because of him, he became dirty.

    Xie Mu dragged his luggage while the rain was pouring hard outside. But Xie Mu was not aware of his surroundings anymore. He felt numb, he did not notice the car zooming at him.

    In the original plot, the original owner of the body was half dead and half alive. He became immobile. Sometimes he can hear the nurse talk about how Xie Mu's boss kindness and been paying the medical fees for him. For ten years, he was in the hospital bed and never did once Bo Qin came to visit him till the day he died.
     
  11. lizabernal96

    lizabernal96 Bella

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    more spoilers please:aww:
     
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  12. Mushroom

    Mushroom Well-Known Member

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    When Xie Mu (our dear MC) transmigrated it was at the point where the original owner has been lying on the bed for three months since the accident. The nurse started asking question about the basic information about MC. It was found that Xie Mu thinks he's still 19 years old when in reality he's already 22. He lost the memories he made from 3 years ago.

    In Bo Qin's side, it was said that he (BQ) recruited Xie Mu to work for his company and became his secretary, then later they became lovers. But of couse Bo Qin started to become bored even if Xie Mu is a good obedient lover and started bedding with some beauties out there while still enjoying Xie Mu's affections. When Bo Qin went out to drink with his friend Tan Tao, he called Xie Mu over under Tan Tao's suggestion. But Tan Tao went to far and touched Xie Mu in and out. Bo Qin lost interest to the lover who gave his whole heart to him.

    He broke up with Xie Mu with the reason of liking cleanliness. But then, he received the news of Xie Mu's accident. He's already paying the medical fees and did not think Xie Mu will still wake up. After 3 months of not visiting, he came to the hospital and saw Xie Mu doing the rehabilitation exercises and lowkey awed by his perseverance.

    When Bo Qin called him out, he did not expect his ex-lover to call him: "President Bo." and was informed by the doctor about the current state of Xie Mu.

    Cute Xie Mu be thanking Bo Qin how he will pay back the medical fees politely.

    Bo Qin was about to leave since he has no intention to keep in contact, but Xie Mu asked for his business card so he can contact him when he pays the money back. Xie Mu asked for Bo Qin's help with his luggage since he's also discharge. Xie Mu started to ask about how he was in the company, Bo Qin replied that he's a qualified secretary and told him how he (XM) can drink a lot. Xie Mu was puzzled and told him that he can't drink.

    Bo Qin was confuse and also surprised, Xie Mu told him that although he don't get drunk, his stomach suffers a lot. Before they can even talk more, Tan Tao appeared like a wild pokemon holding a bouquet of lillies. Because Xie Mu was quite confuse he hid behind Bo Qin and his terrified eye looked at the strange man staring intently at him. Tan Tao gave the flowers to Xie Mu and congratulated him for waking up.

    Xie Mu was nervous and asked for Bo Qin. Tan Tao who's not happy remembered how Xie Mu cried Bo Qin's name just like when he played with his body before, told Bo Qin he will take a good care of Xie Mu.

    Bo Qin left the two and went to the company. Xie Mu was confused and asked how and why do Tan Tao acts like he's familiar with him. Tan Tao noticed how genuinely Xie Mu's unfamiliarity with him. He (TT) then found out Xie Mu's current state and was more than happy to take advantage of his lost memories and told him how they were lovers and was so deeply in love.
     
  13. Mushroom

    Mushroom Well-Known Member

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    Actually the first 12 chaps are already translated.
     
  14. lizabernal96

    lizabernal96 Bella

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    please finish the spoil for arc one, do not let me hanging:blobsob:
     
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  15. MaliciousBurial

    MaliciousBurial Well-Known Member

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    *leaving a mark so I can get to this later* I never get tired of these kinds of stories... :D
     
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  16. Mushroom

    Mushroom Well-Known Member

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    Xie Mu fell for the words of Tan Tao and started believing how they are really lovers. However, Tan Tao is conflicted. Even though, he has Xie Mu by his side already and cooking for him to make him happy, Xie Mu unconsciously making food that Bo Qin likes, such as bitter foods which Tan Tao hates. One time, Bo Qin encountered Tan Tao and Xie Mu. He was a bit put off as he sees Xie Mu accepts Tan Tao's embrace and remembered how Xie Mu avoid Tan Tao's hands and how obedient he was and how he promised to be with him only forever. Bo Qin thinks Xie Mu betrayed him. Bo Qin asked how can Tan Tao not be disgusted with a dirty person, when Xie Mu heard this he was not sure why his boss would talk about him like that.

    Later, when XM and TT came home, TT tried to touched XM but XM unconsciously slapped his hands. Xie Mu was horrified and apologized to Tan Tao. Tan Tao told him it's okay as he thought how as long as Xie Mu is alive and belong to him, it's fine. He knows deep inside that although he can trick Xie Mu's memories, he cannot trick Xie Mu's body.

    (At this point I will go by the things that I remember and also skip some scenes)

    As Bo Qin started to fall for Xie Mu, he also started to make trouble for Tan Tao. Slowly, Tan Tao became stressed and also became quite irritated at Xie Mu.

    He would tell Xie Mu not to disturb him and Tan Tao also started to think how the Xie Mu now is not the same Xie Mu that he likes. Tan Tao fancies people with the elite type and also admires Xie Mu's skills in helping Bo Qin in the company. Tan Tao told Xie Mu that it would be good if Xie Mu regain his memories, believing 19 year old Xie Mu's proclamation of still liking Tan Tao if he remembers everything.

    Xie Mu asked for Bo Qin to talk to him and asked how he was before he lost his memories. Bo Qin later revealed that Tan Tao lied to him, and the truth was Bo Qin and Xie Mu were lovers but Xie Mu was stolen by Tan Tao. Bo Qin told Xie Mu that he will help him regain his memories while also sneakily enjoying looking at Xie Mu.

    Bo Qin tries to teach Xie Mu about some company work while also thinking how Xie Mu became a delicacy when in the past he was just a toy. When the two came out to eat for a break, Xie Mu noticed how late it was and apologized to Bo Qin. BQ offered to take Xie Mu home and Xie Mu accepted, Bo Qin remembers what Xie Mu could not stand the most whether it was the younger XM or not, when the two reached the house XM rejected Bo Qin's offer to escort him upstairs and went up alone. When he opened his love nest with Tan Tao, he saw his "lover" on the sofa with a woman.

    BOOM, CHAOS.
     
    Last edited: Jun 22, 2020
  17. Mushroom

    Mushroom Well-Known Member

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    Tan Tao pushed the woman away upon seeing Xie Mu back. He hurriedly tries to talk to him how it's not what he's thinking. The woman tho was so chill and asked if Xie Mu is Tan Tao's new lover. She even told them that Xie Mu is quite handsome and offered to play with him too , her words made Tan Tao wants to strangle her.

    Xie Mu on the other hand was shook. He said that it's fake, how fake Tan Tao's feelings are so if he truly loves him then why would Tan Tao touch a woman?

    Tan Tao was panicked, he cannot afford to lose Xie Mu so he took the knife and did some scraping movements and told Xie Mu: How he cleaned the place where he was touch. Blood instantly covered Tan Tao's arm as he tries to convince how he's clean now. The woman on the other hand was shocked and ran outside. Tan Tao managed to convince Xie Mu. XM can clearly see TT's love for him through his eyes. The two kissed and XM told how he believes him. It became clear how Tan Tao only like 22 year old mature Xie Mu and not this 19 year old inexperienced XM.

    It turns out that the woman earlier was planted by Bo Qin to sow discord between the "couple". Bo Qin later, finds a way to get rid of this second personality of XM (the 19 year old one) and bring XM back, but he later realized it would be good if Tan Tao will be the one who will initiate it.

    After being reconciled, Tan Tao asked XM when would Xie Mu regain his memories. Tan Tao told Xie Mu that the sooner he remembers everything the better. Xie Mu agreed but deep inside he was full of sadness, the person that he, 19 year old Xie Mu likes, does not like him but the mature him. So Xie Mu thinks, he can only give Tan Tao back.
     
  18. Mushroom

    Mushroom Well-Known Member

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    I swear I can feel yandere vibes. I even cried myself to sleep with one of the arcs so now my eyes are tired and are puffy. Damn plot, so good but still... wuwuwuwu (༎ຶ ෴ ༎ຶ)
     
  19. HIMETAN

    HIMETAN My English Sucks • I want good luck

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    What's about the ending of arc 1 then?
     
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  20. Mushroom

    Mushroom Well-Known Member

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    TT and XM went on a date, riding the merry go round as XM fell for TT.

    Tan Tao called a doctor to hypnotize 19 year old Xie Mu to regain his memories, at first Xie Mu was scared and asked for them to go back home repeatedly but in the end he accepted.

    Tan Tao was happy cause he can now be with Xie Mu who he fell inlove with, naively believing that they can be together even if Xie Mu finds out the truth.

    When the session was done, Xie Mu went out, Tan Tao was there and was about to touch him but was avoided and slapped by Xie Mu.

    Tan Tao realized how the Xie Mu in front of him does not seem to like him, the adoration in his eyes (XM's eyes) are gone. He told Xie Mu how he they could be together now and be happy but no, Xie Mu coldly looked at him and said that he (XM) is disgusted with Tan Tao.

    XM was taken away by Bo Qin, leaving Tan Tao crying and shocked how he killed his baby (sweet and cute 19 year old XM). XM does not actually remember the whole thing. He do remember being assaulted by Tan Tao but he does not remember how Bo Qin rejected him and threw him out because he disgusted with. At this point, Tan Tao almost went crazy, he wants to take his Baby back.

    On XM and BQ's side, they stayed together and BQ wants to keep XM by his side. Every day, XM would cook BQ's favorite foods. The doctor suggested that XM keep a diary to write down the things he remembers. The diary has a locked and BQ told XM he could set a password and left XM for a moment. Xie Mu thought Bo Qin is not interested on the diary and went to start writing on it. Bo Qin actually found out the password and reads Xie Mu's entries.

    Xie Mu was confused, although he and Bo Qin are now back together, Bo Qin does not seem to want to touch him. One time, when they were almost making out, Bo Qin stopped which made Xie Mu confused and Bo Qin vomited.

    Bo Qin cannot make himself touch Xie Mu. Every time he hears Xie Mu call out his name, he remembers the time how Xie Mu also cried for his help and he was being fiercely penetrated by Tan Tao. Bo Qin knows Xie Mu is not clean and he cannot make himself touch him. It was also revealed that the reason why Bo Qin likes cleanliness is because when he was young he stepped into a room and saw his mother naked kneeling on the ground with his father watching and other people (not sure if they are having an orgy or what). He felt ashamed of what he saw and vowed to only touch the things that are clean.

    Xie Mu started asking what really happened why do Bo Qin not touch him. Why did he vomit? Was it because he was touched by Tan Tao? Why did Bo Qin just watched when Tan Tao was raping him? Why did he not save Xie Mu? Xie Mu asked all this and Bo Qin told him that he can't move at that time (?) He would save Xie Mu if only he can move since he was drugged by Tan Tao. Bo Qin also told that Xie Mu went to him and begged for Bo Qin to help him (XM) get hypnotize and erase his memories of being touched by Tan Tao (bullshit) and then XM was ran over by a car. Xie Mu also later cried at Bo Qin not to leave him and told him that he will not let others touch him. In the end, they made up acting like lovers even though Xie Mu never did once brought up the topic of sleeping with Bo Qin.

    Tan Tao tho, went in to power in the Tan Family. He made trouble for Bo Qin, using all the Tan resources so he could get his Baby back. He started missing the time with his Baby (19 year old XM).

    Xie Mu asked what's wrong since Bo Qin has been stressed lately and Bo Qin told him not to worry. XM said that Bo Qin should not lie to him. BQ reassures that he's not lying. Xie Mu said that the Bo Qin he knew does not lie and in the end still chose to believe him. Bo Qin's company is now facing lots of problem. Due to the rumors spreading, some investors pulled out resulting to Bo Qin becoming stressed. Tan Tao then spread the pictures of Xie Mu and Bo Qin when XM is still working as a secretary and was also still BQ's lover. The netizens then later found out that XM resigned from the company and became Tan Tao's lover that Tan Tao revealed in a press conference. The more people became more interested and they found out XM age, origin, university and even where he used to do part time job. Then news came out how XM stayed in a coma after a car accident and how Tan Tao was visiting him during those time and taking a good care of him. At that time XM and BQ are still in a "relationship" (in the eyes of the people who did not know the truth) and BQ never did visited him. They later started to insult how blind Bo Qin was and how the stocks plummeted. Xie Mu saw all this and received a message from an unknown number (Tan Tao) how BQ is most likely ashamed of him, he did not once try to introduce him formally as his lover and just kept him despite all these rumors and news around the internet. Why not let XM out and talked to the press, why keep him inside? Xie Mu also received how BQ is now looking for a partner he can marry to save the company.

    Xie Mu denies these things despite knowing something is wrong. The phone he's using was given by Bo Qin recently with only his contact number. Xie Mu does not really go to the internet so when opened it the first time he was bombarded with all these information. Xie Mu later then wait for the guards to relax and want to go outside for a moment to go in an internet cafe. Xie Mu then saw a car driving in front revealing Bo Qin stepping out and a woman. Xie Mu saw how Bo Qin smiled at the woman and also leaned his head down to let the woman leave a kiss on his cheek. Xie Mu was dumbfounded and remembers all the message he just received how BQ thinks XM is shameful and also now looking for a marriage partner. Xie Mu was quite far away so he did not hear how the woman complained and asked who is this Bo Qin's lover that made him rejected her. The woman eventually went home driving away and Bo Qin saw Xie Mu outside looking at his direction. Bo Qin tries to appease Xie Mu but Xie Mu was not believing it. He says how fake it was and ran outside to escape.

    Bo Qin ordered the guards to come after him but a car intercepted Xie Mu and several men kidnapped him while also injecting XM with something. Bo Qin was furious and knew it was Tan Tao's men who did all this.

    XM waked up in the hospital as Tan Tao tried talking to him about how Bo Qin is not the person who he think he is and now he can be out of the closet and live under the sun with Tan Tao instead of being hidden away by Bo Qin as his lover. XM insulted Tan Tao that he has no right to speak ill of BQ. Tan Tao later left and said he will wait for Xie Mu to wake up again. It turns Tan Tao send Xie Mu to the doctor to hypnotise him again and get his Baby back. The Xie Mu with the 19 year old mentality. His sweet Xiao Mu who will cook for him and pamper him.

    Xie Mu who underwent hypnosis again remembered it all. He remember how when he was in high school he was being bullied by Tan Tao and was pushed on the toilet stall and was also almost sexually violated by the drunk Tan Tao. If not for Bo Qin who appeared and beat Tan Tao, Xie Mu will surely be rapes by TT. Bo Qin advised Xie Mu to avoid TT and transfer out of the school. Xie Mu started to admire Bo Qin and would also watched him on the campus. He also started to save money enough for him to be transfered out. When Xie Mu graduated from College, he was recruited by Bo Qin and became an assistant, and then they became lovers. Xie Mu tried all his best to help Bo Qin, Bo Qin can't hold a liquor so Xie Mu was the one who drinks it even though his stomach suffers from it. He also do the job that is not a part of his job responsibility so he can help Bo Qin. He want to stand side by side with Bo Qin. Xie Mu does not let others touch him because he knew Bo Qin likes cleanliness. And so the incident happened.

    On the other hand Bo Qin is on his way to get Xie Mu back. At this point he really fell in love with Xie Mu. He's holding the diary of Xie Mu but Bo Qin did not dare open it anymore. He wants to know what's in it since becoming suppressed by Tan Tao he was not able to see what's inside. When Bo Qin arrived Tan Tao ridiculed him and was furious at him. How Tan Tao saw Xie Mu fall in love with Bo Qin and watch him stare at Bo Qin when they were in the campus. While he, Tan Tao, was being avoided and ignored like the plague. Bo Qin is confused and does not really remember those times. He asked where Xie Mu was and almost beaten Tan Tao to death. Tan Tao was seriously injured and even spat out blood. Tan Tao was still ridiculing him, he will let Bo Qin know the pain when he got rid of his Baby.

    Bo Qin, later found Xie Mu. When Xie Mu woke up, he mentioned how Bo Qin pushed into the embrace of Tan Tao, how he laughed and how hurt Xie Mu was when he came to find him but got thrown away by Bo Qin.

    "You said, I'm dirty...
    But it was you who made me dirty."

    Bo Qin told Xie Mu that he was drugged that's why could not save him. (It was also mentioned in the text how Tan Tao did drugged him). Xie Mu asked when did Bo Qin met Xie Mu, BQ said it was when he was a fresh graduate from college, it seems like Bo Qin does not really remember how he saved Xie Mu from the hands of Tan Tao before. Bo Qin assures Xie Mu that he will bring him back, thinking that he was talking to the 19 year old Xie Mu, the doctor told him that he is the current Xie Mu, the one who remembers it all. Bo Qin refused to believe the doctor and told Xie Mu they will go home and get him treated because he is sick. Xie Mu disagreed that he is not. Bo Qin picked up Xie Mu and went home.

    In Tan Tao's side, he first saw Xie Mu next to a gardenia tree sniffing the flowers. Tan Tao was awed by Xie Mu's looks and later started to bully him to gain his attention. He became drank and went to find Xie Mu and shoved him on the toilet stall, fortunately he did not go all the way and got stopped by Bo Qin. Tan Tao told Bo Qin how he really like Xie Mu, but Bo Qin does not care and only told Tan Tao not to bother him again.

    Tan Tao tried reaching out to Xie Mu but when Xie Mu threatened Tan Tao with a knife and even hurt himself, Tan Tao dare not stimulate him again. After those years, he saw Xie Mu again. But he's already in Bo Qin's side and looked at him coldly with disgust in his eyes.

    Tan Tao remembered how Xie Mu became his, his Baby. He's loving sweet Xie Mu who also trusted him. His Baby, repeatedly asked him to go back home and not be hypnotized.

    "Tan Tao, I'm so scared"
    "I will disappear..."
    "Tan Tao.."

    In the end, his Baby signed to waver knowing well that he will disappear after. Knowing he can just make him happy by making himself regain his memories and give him to his 22 year old self.

    Tan Tao said he was sorry, he said he was sorry to his Baby. He accidentally spat out blood on the gardenia plant he kept because of Xie Mu.

    "I'm sorry baby, I didn't stain you deliberately..."

    "I'll wipe it off for you, okay..."


    He tugged at the paper on the table helplessly, trying to wipe the gardenia clean.

    "I'm sorry..."


    But the petals are too fragile.

    With a light touch, there is damage.

    Like, his baby.


    "Baby, please, please believe me, I love you , I have always loved you..."

    Tan Tao is really injured, his internal organs were affected but he still dragged himself, he want to make Bo Qin feel how he lost his Baby. And so with great difficulty he started to type and managed to click send.

    On Bo Qin and Xie Mu's side, Bo Qin assured Xie Mu will be cured. Xie Mu's body is really weak now. Bo Qin even told Xie Mu that after he recover they will go out and travel and even do horse back riding like how Xie Mu like it. Xie Mu said he is not sick.

    Xie Mu confessed how he loves Bo Qin, that until now, he still loves him. Bo Qin was happy but then-

    "I love you, but I can't face you."

    He told Bo Qin how even if he close his eyes, he remembers the night when Tan Tao touched him in and out. While he, Bo Qin, was just laughing and watching while Xie Mu was being violated. How his own lover, his respected lover, was the one who pushed him into Tan Tao's arms.

    "Do you know how scared I am?"

    "Bo Qin doesn't like what others move him. If Tan Tao really succeeds, I can no longer stand beside Bo Qin..."
    The young man smiled bitterly.

    "This was my thought at the time, even if you didn't save me, even if you looked at me like a funny joke, and Tan Tao was tearing my clothes, I was thinking wishfully...

    Bo Qin was not deliberate, he was just drunk, he could not drink alcohol..."


    "Even if I woke up with traces of my body, the first thing that came to my mind was to find my lover...

    "I was very painful and uncomfortable. When it was raining heavily on the road that day, when I was hit by raindrops on the road, Suddenly I had an idea, if, if I washed myself and Bo Qin saw me, wouldn't he be so angry? "

    "But no..."

    Xie Mu made a smile, like a mockery, but it seemed bitter, "My lover, gave me to others by hand. "

    "Then said I was dirty."

    Bo Qin was begging Xie Mu, he was telling him from now on, he will not drink again, he will not smoke and will eat three meals a day, will not be working over time...

    Xie Mu later then told Bo Qin to let him go. Bo Qin said it was not Xie Mu's fault. It was Tan Tao and his fault that Xie Mu became like this. Xie Mu is clean. Xie Mu is not dirty. That Bo Qin loves him very much and they forget all these and live like before. He even kissed Xie Mu to show him but..

    Xie Mu whispered, "You kissed me just now, which made me sick."

    "It's like, after we did that day, you felt sick."

    Bo Qin later tried to find doctors that can erase Xie Mu's memories but once the doctors heard Xie Mu already went through two hypnosis session they refused.

    Xie Mu basically became like a doll, Bo Qin would hold him to sleep and every now and then wake up to check if Xie Mu is still breathing. One time, Xie Mu saw a bird flying, Bo Qin suggested he could capture it if he wants to. Xie Mu refused and said how good it was being free. Xie Mu then showed his hands to Bo Qin full of blood from his mouth. He was sent to the hospital. Bo Qin told Xie Mu he will let him go, as long as he live, he will let him go.

    Tan Tao was found after being MIA for a while. Bo Qin came to face him but when the two were talking Bo Qin was informed that Xie Me went missing. Bo Qin punched and kicked Tan Tao as the man laughed and looked at him with disgust. Tan Tao then said Xie Mu believed his upright, kind, gentle and considerate image for years. That Bo Qin has been cheating on him long ago by this image of his and mocked him what if Xie Mu finds out those were all fake.

    Bo Qin found Xie Me on the Hospital's rooftop. Sitting on the railing as the wind blow past him, holding his mobile phone.

    "It turned out to be fake..."

    "From the beginning, it was fake..."

    Xie Mu then started to tell how he admire Bo Qin the most. How wonderful his Bo Qin was. How Xie Mu though he was so lucky to have Bo Qin as his lover and did his best to learn things so that he can help him, how he learned to drink just so he can stop Bo Qin from drinking since he can't hold a liquor and how he tries to make him eat three meals a day and learned how to massage temples so that he could lessen Bo Qin's stress.

    “Since my lover was fake at the beginning, what did I experience and what I suffered?”

    “Xiaomu, Xiaomu, listen to me..." The

    man's mouth opened hard, his voice obscure. "I'm real, even if those are fake, but I really love you!"

    "I, with you, we can still happy together, is not it? "

    "happy together ...... "

    " Yes, yes! "


    The man nodded his head, his eyes full of hope toward Xie Mu, shaking his voice, trying to maintain tenderness, "As long as you come down, as long as you are good, whatever you want, I will give you. "

    As long as you are alive, Xiaomu..."


    Xie Mu looked at him. "Do you give me whatever I want?" The man promised frantically, afraid that he would be slow for a second, and then he would never see his own Xiaomu again.

    "What do you want..."

    There was light in the youth's eyes, and a dreamy smile appeared, "I think, I have never known Bo Qin, never seen, never heard, never loved..."

    Bo Qin felt his heart being stabbed again and again, being cut open by the knife.

    The youth's eyes showed confusion. "But, I still miss you." His cold fingertips moved slowly and landed on the heart.

    "Here, it hurts."

    Xie Mu looked at the man's eyes and said, "Even if I can't see it, it will still hurt if I think about it ."
    "I thought, I can stand it."


    "Those pains , despair, I can do anything ... as long as I can be by Bo Qin's side, whatever is possible..."

    "Bo Qin doesn't despise me, he said, he loves me, and will protect me..."
    The youth rocked With both legs, the whole body is shaking with the wind.


    In his eyes, the joy was like a child, but immediately, the joy slowly disappeared.

    Along with the light in the eyes.

    Xie Mu's dull eyes with no hint of hope.

    "Such a..." The young man's eyes fell on the man who looked at himself with pain, and twitched his lips.

    "Disgusting, hypocritical, pretentious..."


    Bo Qin froze all over his body, as if even the blood had been frozen.

    In his eyes, is he such a person?


    "I always think that Tan Tao is the most terrifying and disgusting creature in this world..."

    Xie Mu didn't seem to see the expression of a man kneeling on the ground. He continued, his eyes full of self-deprecation.

    "But it turns out that the most terrifying monster is beside me."

    The man's eyes were full of bloodshot eyes, with tears in his eyes, and he looked at the young man,
    "No, Xiaomu..."

    Bo Qin: "You, you love me, don't you?"

    The youth looked at Bo Qin's eyes, but there was no affection at all.


    He shook his head, "No."

    "You are a monster."

    "You are dressed in human skin and pretend to be a person. In fact, without that layer of skin, you are not even a maggot!!!"

    "You are not at all, Bo Qin."

    Xie Mu shuddered and wept, almost looking at the handsome man in front of him, "You ate him and pretended to lie to me like he was!"

    Xie Mu said that the Bo Qin he knew protects him, cherish him, teaches him at work and that the one with him is not Bo Qin. He is a monster who replace his lover.

    Bo Qin agreed in panic that he's a monster but please go back down and don't stop sitting on the railing. Xie Mu asked Bo Qin to call Tan Tao, BQ did not refuse and called his men to bring Tan Tao.

    Tan Tao was beaten and fell to the ground his body full of horrifying bruises, he smiled mockingly and looked at this unfamiliar Xie Mu that is not his Baby sitting on the railing.

    Xie Mu looked at the crazy Tan Tao.

    "Tan Tao."

    "Thank you for the marshmallows. It's delicious."

    Tan Tao stiffened, unbelievably, and looked up at Xie Mu.

    "Baby..."

    No, isn't his baby already killed?

    He, Bo Qin, obliterated...


    "That day, on the carousel, what I said to you, did you forget?"

    Tan Tao opened his eyes wide and the scene in front of him coincided with the appearance of the youth that day.

    Xie Mu's mouth, one by one.

    ——“Will you remember me?”


    Xie Mu told him how even though he do not act like the 19 year old him anymore, he does remember his time with him. That he was always been there.

    The man doesn't care about this, he only knows that the man with his baby memory is back.

    Tan Tao smiled, like a bug, crawling on the ground and desperately crawling over there.


    "Baby, baby, you are back..."

    "I miss you so much, I really miss you..."


    He was full of joy, even though his hands were covered in blood from the stones on the ground, he still didn't care. Crawling forward.

    He wanted to climb to his lover, his baby...

    Bo Qin took the opportunity to come to the railing, reached out his hand, and wanted to grab the youth.

    Xie Mu looked at the two men and suddenly smiled.

    "You killed my Bo Qin..."

    "I have to go and find him..."
    "Xiaomu!!!"


    Bo Qin realized what was happening, and his eyes were splitting, and he reached out his hand subconsciously enough, but only touched his fingertips.

    The young man smiled, opened his arms, and fell down without hesitation...-in front of them, in front of the two.

    Xie Mu jumped from the hospital's rooftop after finding out the truth.

    (At this point, MC already left the original owner's body and only stayed to see what will happen with these two scum gong.)

    Bo Qin contacted the best doctors to bring Xie Mu back, they could only manage to revive him but not wake him.

    Xie Mu is in a coma just like the original owner in the original plot. Bo Qin would make soup for Xie Mu, telling him to eat and how he (BQ) came to like Gardenias. Bo Qin also asked himself if this is how empty and pained Xie Mu felt like every time XM cooked for him and wait for him to come home.

    Bo Qin told XM that he's the cleanest. His Xie Mu is the cleanest, it was he (BQ) who's not.

    Tan Tao came at the 20th day of Xie Mu's comatose state. He brought his men and came limping with a cane. He called his Baby, touching his Baby's hands, kissing his Baby's fingertips while also crying and laughing.

    Bo Qin who was beaten by his men told him to get away from Xie Mu. Tan Tao screamed at him how Bo Qin deceived his Baby, how he forced him even though his Baby does not want him anymore. Tan Tao let out how Bo Qin was the one who destroyed Xie Mu. How Tan Tao should have taken his Baby when they were in highschool. Tan Tao started beating Bo Qin with his crutches and told him how he (BQ) love cleanliness even though he's the least clean one.

    Bo Qin broke down and said he was a monster.

    Tan Tao noticed the diary and forcefully opened it, he looked at the pages and saw the last few entries by his Baby.

    [I have always had the same dream recently. In the dream, I am very happy to sit on the merry-go-round with Tan Tao. I am very happy. Tan Tao in the dream is laughing. I looked at him. Yes, it would be nice if you could do this for life. This is not normal, I want to tell Bo Qin, but I am afraid, if this is true, what should I do. 】

    【Dreaming again today, I feel very strange. It seems that there is a stranger living in my body, who sends me messages every day. Even the dislike of Tan Tao seems to be because he is much less. 】

    【He wants to go to Tan Tao, he is afraid of Bo Qin, afraid of everything here, I always feel that he can wake up in less than a few days, I am really scared, Bo Qin is getting busy now, I should go Looking for him? 】

    [Bo Qin is busy, I want to help him, but he refuses to tell me what happened, my spirit is getting worse, I’m afraid I will leave Bo Qin, that person wants to come out, but as long as Bo Qin comes back, He would hide in fear, and I began to feel that it was not just my imagination. 】

    The entry ended at the time when Tan Tao kidnapped Xie Mu to go see a doctor to bring his Baby back.

    Tan Tao realized how he's Baby did not die and want to come back by his side. But in the end he was the one who killed him. He killed Xie Mu, his Baby, twice.

    THE END

    the MC ordered the system they can now leave the world.
     
    Last edited: Jun 23, 2020